


Apocalypse Now

by lilvixen25



Series: Lead Me Home [1]
Category: Walking Dead (TV)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-08
Updated: 2015-11-04
Packaged: 2018-02-03 21:09:45
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 47
Words: 267,759
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1757091
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lilvixen25/pseuds/lilvixen25
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Camille came to the states for a gap year. Who knew it would all go wrong.</p>
<p>Four months ago I left my home looking forward to this adventure I had been planning. Instead I'm running for my life from flesh eating corpses. Welcome to the fucking apocalypse! </p>
<p>While out hunting one day she bumps into a certain hunter...</p>
<p>Set in Season 2 of The Walking Dead. All characters belong to Robert Kirkman and AMC. Only Camille belongs to me<br/>Rated E for future chapters, violence, non-con/rape and sexual content.<br/>****** Sequel is in progress currently. Hiatus was only temporary :)  ******<br/><em>Edited 24/2/2017 - Working on sequel :D </em></p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The beginning

**Author's Note:**

> My first work I have published. Little nervous. Hope you enjoy. Helpful comments welcome.  
> I proof read these myself, mostly wrote these for myself but have decided to see what other think.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Starting mid-season 2. Following the story mostly with a bit of my spin on things and then from Chapter 14 onwards filling in gap between S2 and S3, well my take on that time. I personally think it gets better after they leave the farm, because it gave me as a writer room to grow. So I hope you will give it a chance up until then :o)  
> Enjoy!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Slightly edited from previous version. But same essential story still there.  
> Hope you guys enjoy.

 

So, this isn't exactly how I planned to spend my gap year. It was supposed to be all road-trips, site seeing and crappy temp jobs. Instead it was survival, brutal deaths and utter chaos. Granted it wasn't my fault it had all turned to shit.

Four months ago, I left my home looking forward to this adventure I had been planning. Instead I'm running for my life from flesh eating corpses.

Welcome to the fucking apocalypse!

 

 

I imagined my life back home. My friends, my family. I didn't know if this was worldwide, in the back of my mind I knew my worst fears were true, but admitting it was true, was another story. I still had hope, as foolish as it was in this situation but I think it kept me going.

 

So here I am somewhere south of Atlanta, Georgia. _Alone._

When this first started few months back I did end up meeting up with some people and we survived for a while. Made it as far as Atlanta before a herd separated us, killing a few in the process, so I was alone. I ran till I found somewhere to hide for a bit before making my way to the CDC. When I was with the group we had planned to go to the CDC, thinking it would be a safe-haven from the madness. Boy, were we wrong. I remember standing there shocked to see it blown to pieces. It had only recently gone by the looks of it as there was still smoke coming from the rubble, dead bodies littered the grounds, the stench was horrific.

So once again I was back on the road, I had no idea where to go. I think I was hoping to either find people or some sort of safety. But both seemed very grim. For now, I only had my back to watch. And at the moment that seemed like the best option. And sometimes the worst. But this was the cards I was dealt.

 

 

I looked over the map, from what I could see I wasn't far from a small town. I needed supplies. I tucked it back into the side pocket grabbing hold of the reins again. The only sound I could hear was the slow and steady beat of the horse’s hooves against the ground. The sound almost reassuring to me, like I wasn't all alone. Even if my only travelling companion on this trip was a horse.

 

As always, I cautiously approached the town, the roads were clear, no cars, no walkers. It was eerie quiet. Just because there was no visible activity, didn't mean there were a bunch of walkers around the next corner. So, I kept my eyes open, scanning the streets for any movement, watching for any rustling from bushes, anything that would cause me grief. Maybe I was overly cautious but in this world, I couldn't afford not to be.

I headed towards the main street. I came to a clearing with a few trees between a row of shops. I hopped off the horse and tied her loosely to a tree and gave her head a rub, she moved her head into my hand, gratefully accepting the affection. I left her to graze as I walked towards the small corner store. It looked small, lots of windows and well lit. I tapped on the window several times and waited. I grabbed my gun from my thigh taking the safety off and making sure there was a round in the chamber before putting it back in my holster. I grabbed my machete out ready and scanned the streets. Nothing. Machete up I made my way into the store, silently cursing when a bell chimed above the door. I froze scanning the store for any signs of the undead. No sounds came from inside the store, so I proceeded with caution. Items littered the floor, obviously, someone had been through and picked up as much as they could before they had to leave. Why they left I could have guessed. That guessing game was pretty easy nowadays.

I picked up a basket and started “shopping”. It wasn't a bad haul, I managed to find a few face-cloths, two bars of soap, four cans of beans, a dozen packets of dried soup mix, a jar of honey, some crackers and my best find was behind the counter under the till; two hip-flasks of whiskey. I wasn't much of a drinker but a shot of whiskey sounded good. _Getting drunk sounded like a good idea but being on my own I knew it was a stupid one. So, a shot to keep me sane._

 

There were still no walkers when I walked back to the horse. I packed the newly found supplies into one the saddlebags, then untied the horse from the tree. I grabbed my bow, which was strapped to the saddle and slung it over my shoulder. I took a moment to look around, taking in the peaceful little town I had stumbled into. I would have probably enjoyed passing through a small town like this, maybe stop for some local food but now it was only coming to the towns when I needed something. I would usually try to avoid the towns and cities as the undead were usually situated there.

I walked leading the horse out towards the road, ready to head out to where I was going next. _I didn't have a plan of where, just that it wasn't here_.

 

Noise in the distance froze me, it approached quickly, the sound of a vehicle. I grabbed the rifle strapped to the saddle and waited.

Sometimes people were more dangerous than the walkers. And now that I was alone and female, the danger level increases fast. Even before the world turned to shit, it was dangerous, now it was worse. Men just looked at you like a piece of meat. It definitely made it hard to trust anyone after all this.

 

The truck approached slowly now, they had spotted me. They parked about fifty feet away on the other side of the road. All the doors opened and four men got, all armed. Two had handguns on their hips, one had a bow and the other had an assault rifle. I raised my rifle, I wasn't taking any chances.

“Woah there darlin” one said with a thick southern accent.

“I don't want any trouble, just leave me be” I said firmly, my rifle still raised.

The man who spoke seemed to be their leader, slowly put his gun back in his holster and signalled for the others to do the same. They obeyed, although looking a little hesitant as mine was still raised towards them. The leader put his hands up in front of him, trying to suggest he was trying to act friendly.

“We don't want any trouble. We have a town not too far from here. We have food, shelter, medical supplies if you need it.”

I said nothing. The other three were looking me up and down. I was cringing on the inside but keeping a straight hard face, rifle still raised.

“C'mon sweetheart we can keep ya safe” one of the men said, his accent was thick too. He licked his lips as he eyed me, it was disgusting. _This was why I avoided people._

The leader spoke up again “You're alone?” I nodded once.

“They call me The Governor. We have about forty people, women, children. We want to help, if you want it.” he said

I already knew my answer. There was something off about him and the other three weren't any better. _If it sounds too good to be true, it probably is._ If my dad were here I knew what he would say, _“No daughter of mine is ending up with people like them, Run!”_

The Governor spoke once more, putting on a sickly-sweet smile “This is Martinez, Cooper and Shumpert.” he said gesturing to each of the men. “We were out scouting the area, lookin' for more supplies, when we saw you.”

I spoke finally “No offence, thanks for the offer but I'm fine on my own. I can take care of myself.”

“Yes, you can” Martinez muttered. The Governor shot him a look.

“It’s hard being on your own. Let us help.” he said trying to reason with me.

“I'm fine on my own” I said getting a little impatient with his need for me to go back with them.

“Ya don't sound like you're from around here?” he asked.

“I'm not” I replied curtly, clutching my rifle.

He sighed and then smiled “If you change your mind, our town is about fifteen miles from here, Woodbury. Just head south on this road that leads out of town. Ask for any of us and I promise we will help, however we can.” He looked to the other men and they turned to head back to their vehicle. The Governor smiled once more before briskly walking back to the vehicle and then they were gone.

 

I finally lowered my rifle and let out a loud sigh. I was cautious and the looks they were giving me made my skin crawl. They tried to come off as friendly but I knew if I went back with them it wouldn't end well for me. Maybe not at first but sooner or later one of them would have tried something. I understand they may have just wanted to help but I couldn't shake that gut feeling. And I was always told, trust your gut, don't hesitate or it could get you killed.

 

 

I rode out of the town in the opposite direction, constantly looking over my shoulder, heading north-west by my account. It was going to be dark in a few hours and I needed to find a place to hold up for the night.

When I hadn't come across any shelter I could sleep in for the night, I stopped when I found the first decent looking tree, that I could sleep up in. It wasn't going to comfortable but I was used to that. Sleeping in a tree was my preferred bed these days. Sure, I couldn't really relax fully. But I was out of the reach from walkers and that was what sold me nearly every time.

 

 

It had been two weeks since I came across those four men. I had kept off the main roads, opting to cut through the open fields, sleeping in trees and once a hayloft. The horse wouldn't wander far when I went to sleep for the night and when I whistled she would come. She was very loyal and such a help to me. It definitely helped with carrying my bags and staying off my feet for a bit. Having her sure beat scavenging for gas. Granted it was a little slower than a car but I think it was the smarter choice. I had learnt that in the beginning, how dangerous it was to scrounge for gas, having several close calls. Finally, I gave up on the car idea and was lucky enough to find a horse, who was willing enough to let me ride her.

So, I kept travelling not knowing where I would end up next.


	2. Shot in the dark

 

It had been a few days since I last went hunting and I really needed some meat to keep myself going. Soup and crackers only get you so far.

I left my bags up in the big oak tree I had been sleeping in the last few nights and covered it so it wasn't visible. The horse was out in the field grazing. It looked happy and content for the moment. I grabbed my small backpack with a few essential items, my bow and quiver slung over my shoulder, hand gun strapped to my thigh and machete in hand. I imagined I looked somewhat like Lara Croft from Tomb Raider, my dark blonde hair even in a braid. I was just the messier, dirty version of her. At least I had a decent rack like she did, I laughed to myself. I had been a bit curvier before all this but being constantly on the run, and little to eat, I had lost a little bit of them.

 

I never thought all the hunting I did for fun with my father would ever become key to my survival. I was probably the reason why I was still alive today.

I had been tracking a doe through the woods and I was salivating at the thought of some fresh venison. I had been stalking it for about half a mile or so, only having to take down one walker in the process. I spotted it finally up ahead in a clearing. I took a bolt out and slowly and quietly took a few steps forward. I lined it up in my sights, pulling the bolt back on the string, taking a steady breath. Something rustled in a nearby tree and sent a few birds flying, it spooked the doe. I silently cursed to myself.

 

I opened my eyes confused. I was looking up at the trees. What the hell? I bought my hand up in front of my face and it was covered with blood. Where did the blood come from? Searing pain then registered in my brain, bringing me back to reality. My head hurt, my side hurt. I still didn't understand how I was hurt. I looked down to see the end of a bolt sticking out of my side. With every breath it hurt and so did my head. Confusion still weighed on my mind. Did I somehow manage to shoot myself? I couldn't have.

“Fuck” I heard someone mutter in the distance. I painfully reached for my gun on my thigh. I had my fingers touching the grip when I heard the person right next to me.

“Wouldn't do that if I were ya” a man with a thick menacing southern accent spoke. I froze. He knelt down, disarming me of my gun, a crossbow pointed at my head. It was hard to make him out properly as the sun was shining through the trees and my vision was getting blurrier by the minute.

“You missed the fucking doe” I grumbled through the pain. I heard him scoff. “I guess you're wanting your bolt back” I breathed, I could now see him behind his crossbow, still pointing it at me, his face hardened. I could feel my head getting woozy again. I scrunched my eyes closed and held my breath. This was going to hurt. I reached to grab the bolt, a strong pair of hands stopped me. My eyes flew open, surprised. He was kneeling next to me, his crossbow no longer pointed at me.

“Leave it in” he said gruffly “I can get that fixed for ya”. I kept quiet, unsure of him. “I'm with a camp not too far from 'ere, on a farm. We got a doc who can fix ya up.”

“And you're just willing to help a stranger?” I ask, biting through the pain that was slowly ebbing throughout my body.

“Do ya want ma help or not?” he sighed frustrated.

He didn't give off the same vibe as the other men I had encountered a few weeks back. Yes, he was a little hostile but I think it was towards the situation and not me.

As I felt the pain once again rock through me, at this rate I wasn't going to stay conscious for long. I swallowed, then nodded my consent.

“Can ya walk?” he asked, I nodded. No matter how injured I was, I wasn't about to be carried out of the woods. I was too stubborn that way. He slung his crossbow onto his back. “This is going to hurt” he said reaching for my hand. I just about fell over but he grabbed me just in time, catching my injured side. I hissed in pain and muttered curses.

“I think I hit my head” I croaked.

He backed me up to a nearby tree while he looked at the back of my head.

“Yeah there's a gash, not too bad.” he grunted in his accent. I blinked several times, the pain and the blood loss screwing with my balance. He grabbed my arm putting it round his shoulder and held onto my injured side just below the wound. It hurt like a bitch, I clenched my jaw avoiding any sounds of my pain to be heard. And we slowly started walking towards his camp.

“Shit, my bow” I rasped.

“Got it” he grunted, his grip tightening on my hip. I hadn't even noticed him pick it up. “What were ya doin' out 'ere anyway? Do ya have a group?” he asked almost sounding annoyed.

“Trying to catch dinner before you scared it off, had it in my sights too” I said chuckling, then regretted that, the pain soaring through me again. I saw him smirk out of the corner of my eye. “No group” I sighed “been alone for about two months, some fucking road-trip this turned out to be.” I huffed.

“Y'all did alright to last this long” he said

“Because I'm a woman?” I grunted.

“Na cos you were alone” he said quietly and I was sure I saw him roll his eyes. It stayed silent for a few minutes. “Daryl, by the way”

“Camille” I croaked in return. “Thank y...” I slurred before blackness swallowed me.

 

Pain consumed me. I heard voices not far from me. I blacked out again.

In my dream, someone in the darkness spoke “She could be a threat”, “She ain't a threat” a familiar voice said. The voices faded. I tried to hold on but once again I was swallowed by the darkness.

I woke suddenly, the pain spiking, burning like fire. I screamed in agony as I realised the bolt was being pulled out. Hands held me down as I struggled against them. I couldn't hear anything over my screams, nor could I open my eyes and when I tried it was like a big bright light, I couldn't focus. I passed out again.


	3. Threat

 

I woke groggily later, my head pounding, the room was bright. But this time it was from the daylight. As my eyes adjusted I could see I was in a bedroom, in an actual bed. Oh, how I had missed an actual bed. I could hear angry voices not far from the closed door. I couldn't hear the nature of the conversation but I knew it had to be about me. I went to reach for my gun but my hand wouldn't move. I moved my head to see it handcuffed to the bedpost. Fucking perfect. I couldn't help but feel my own worst fears were about to come to light. My head was working overtime trying to figure out what to do next.

 

The door suddenly opened and two men with hard looks on their faces entered, staring at me. I panicked, this truly is the end. My eyes flitted between them both, my mind trying to prepare to shut itself down. The man in front furrowed his eyebrows at my expression and then softened. He held his hands up.

“My name is Rick. We're not going to harm you. Daryl bought you here after you were shot. Hershel, the man who owns this farm fixed up your wound. The handcuffs were just a precaution...Daryl said your name is Camille?”

I nodded. I was so petrified at this moment. I figured they wanted a back story to ease their minds. “I came to the states for my gap year”, Rick seemed surprised by my accent, “thought it would be all road-trips and site seeing” I shook my head. “When it all started, I was in a small town in Tennessee, met up with a group of people, a herd of corpses rolled through and we got separated. Our original plan was to head to the CDC” Rick's expression changed and he looked quickly to the other man. “So, I carried on, when I did get there it was blown to hell. Been on my own about two months now...” I finished. They looked me over trying to figure me out, looking to each other having a silent conversation.

 

Another man entered the room, much older than the other two.

“This is Hershel, he fixed your wound” Rick said as I eyed the man.

“She seems like she isn't a threat Rick, you can uncuff her” he said with a sympathetic smile on his face. The other man glared at me as Rick went to move round to where I was cuffed. Hershel went to reach his hand out, I flinched away, still unsure of the situation I was in.

“I just want to check the wound, make sure the stitches are holding.” I nodded letting out a steady breath. The handcuff loosened around my wrist and it fell to the bed, I dragged it next to my side, flexing and stretching it out. Hershel inspected the wound carefully.

“Looks like its holding” he said replacing the bandage.

 

A young woman entered the room holding a large glass of water and a plate of cut up fruit, peaches I think. Hershel handed me several pills; antibiotics and painkillers he explained, then handed me the glass. I swallowed the pills and the water greedily. The other man who had yet to speak, glared at me, anger brewing, he pushed roughly past Rick and grumbled “this is bullshit”. Out of the room I could still hear him “What the fuck is wrong with you, bringing her back here! She's a threat!” he yelled. Rick and Hershel left after him. The woman smiled meekly at me.

“I'm Maggie” she said handing me the plate “if you need anything just holler.” she said before following the men.

“She's ain't a threat Shane” I heard a familiar southern voice say.

“Well she's your fucking responsibility!”

Silence, then moments later a door slammed.

I set the glass down and ate a few slices of the peach. I rolled onto my good side, closing my eyes, I fell asleep surprisingly easily.

 

I roused from my slumber. It was dark outside. I was confused for a second forgetting where I was. I went to sit up, I froze when my head pounded and my side ached. I remembered now how I got here. The arrow, being rescued, handcuffed and fixed up. I still wasn't sure if I was safe. Shane definitely didn't want me here. He had that look in his eyes that the four men did few weeks back. Rick was a toss up, he looked like he would turn either way. Hershel and the girl seemed alright. I felt for my gun and my blade, they were both gone. I sighed, I shouldn't have been surprised they took my weapons. I lay back down, I wasn't going anywhere fast and I was sure there would be someone posted outside my door. I sighed again in defeat and it wasn't long before I fell asleep again.

 

I woke the next morning feeling refreshed for the first time in months. Since I had been on my own I hadn't had more than a few hours at most of sleep and that was if I was lucky enough to get any. And the bed, it sure beat sleeping in a tree.

I could hear movement inside the house. Someone knocked on the door and entered. It was Hershel and Rick.

“How are you feeling?” Hershel asked

“Better. Hadn't slept that good in months.” I replied. Hershel smiled. Rick was unreadable and silent. He just eyed me.

“I'll leave. That's what you want right?” I asked calmly, “I'll be on my merry way, just give me my backpack and weapons. I don't want to... I'm not a threat. I'm just surviving.” I said sighing. I looked down at my hands, waiting. I didn't know if I had made it worse.

Rick finally spoke, “We talked it over. The group wants to meet you. We'll put it to a vote after they have met you. Daryl has agreed to keep an eye on you.”

“Am I a prisoner?” I asked hesitantly.

“No” he said shaking his head “it’s just a... _precaution_ ” he said trying to smile.

I was still a little shocked. This had to be too good to be true, right? I was half expecting to be tossed out on my ass or worse. Maybe there were still good people left in this world.

“You should come downstairs when you're ready and meet everyone” he said trying to smile. He was still hesitant. It was obvious. But so was I.

The young woman from yesterday came into the room, all smiles.

“Good to see you're awake” she said in her warm southern accent. She had clean clothes and a towel in her hands. “I'm sure you could use a shower and some clean clothes. We can wash yours.”

“Thank you” I said gratefully, a little speechless.

Maggie helped me up and to the bathroom.

“I'm Camille by the way, I don't think I had introduced myself.” I said as she led me into the bathroom. “Can you help me with my top, I don't want to pull the stitches.” I said looking at my top.

“Sure. Don't wash your hair though, your head needs a few days to heal.” she said as she put my top on the edge of the bathtub. “I'll be outside if you need me” she said as she shut the door behind her.

The shower felt amazing. You don't realise how you take these simple things for granted until you don't have them anymore. I was sure to keep it short. The water was clear by the end of it, so it was a good indication I was cleaner. It was nice to put on clean clothes. The smell making me smile. When I was dressed, Maggie came in and redressed the wounds.

Downstairs was busy, there were quite a few people staying here. More than I thought. Everyone stopped to stare. I could feel my cheeks burning. I hated being the centre of attention. Hershel spoke up and introduced me, slowly people started introducing themselves and apparently there still more outside.  I met Lori, Beth, Patricia, Carol, Glenn and Carl. Outside I met Dale, T-dog and Jimmy. Andrea looked down at me from the RV, rifle in hand, a look in her eyes I couldn't quite determine. Shane eyed me from a distance, watching me like a hawk.

I turned back to Rick “I know your group hasn't decided if I can stay but I would like to go get my stuff, had a few weapons, food, meds and the horse can carry it back for me. I figure it’s about a mile from here, only tracked the deer for about half a mile when...” I reflexively touched the bandaged wound.

Rick furrowed his brows at me.

“Look I can handle myself. I'm just politely asking for my bow and blade. You can hold on to the gun.” I said calmly.

He looked conflicted and walked away. I sat down on the porch tying my boots properly, didn't want to break an ankle on top of my current injuries. Rick came back out blade and bow in hand. I was a little surprised as was Shane. I was mentally rolling my eyes at him. Before he handed them to me he spoke, “One condition, Daryl goes with you. You're still quite wounded, should really be resting for a day or two.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't forget to review please!


	4. Judgement

 

I bit my lip. I understood where Rick was coming from and I really should be resting. I hoped my injuries wouldn't muck up me being able to use my bow. I had to be careful. I didn't want a bodyguard. I knew I still had to earn these peoples trust but having someone in my way just annoyed me. I reluctantly nodded.

“I'm trusting you” he said as he pointed me in the direction of Daryl's tent. I slung the bow and quiver on one shoulder and slipped the machete into its holder around my waist.

 

I stood in front of his tent and looked in, empty, crossbow was gone too. I looked back at the camp, and wondered if I should go back to find him. I then looked at the trees, I would only be gone a few hours. Hopefully this wouldn't burn my bridges with these people. I sighed as moved towards the tree-line.

As I neared the edge of the woods I took the bow off my shoulder, I slung the quiver properly over my shoulder and took a bold out ready as I made my way in. I scanned the woods for “wildlife”, nothing but a few birds. I pushed in deeper.

I wasn't more than ten minutes into the woods when I felt a presence behind me, following me. Walker? It couldn't be, I would have heard or at least smelt it. I instantly thought Shane. Fuck. So, Rick sent another bodyguard after me. I walked forward placing the bolt in the string in case of a sneak attack. I pushed back thoughts of being beaten or worse, raped. He was probably about twenty feet behind me now. I spun quickly, bolt ready, arm pulled back, my side hot with pain but pushed that aside. I was surprised to see Daryl standing there, crossbow raised.

“Come to finish me off?” I ask raising an eyebrow. I lower my bow.

“Do ya even know where yer goin'?” he asked, his tone sounding kind of pissed.

“I said to Rick I can handle myself...”

He cut me off “Fine!” he growled loudly and turned his back walking away.

“Daryl” I called after him, he ignored me and carried on walking.

I sighed. I surveyed the surrounding woods. No walkers. Maybe getting on Daryl's bad-side wasn't a good move. I didn't expect him to have such a temper though.

 

I carried on walking. Luckily, I came across Daryl's trail from yesterday. I was sure because the impressions were deeper, this must have been where he was carrying me. I kept my bow ready. The impressions became lighter further on and I could see my trail beside his. I followed it knowing it was near where I was injured. Then I heard sounds further up the trail, I scanned around me before proceeding. One walker was kneeling on the ground, moaning and pawing at something. I took aim, breathed, whistled to gets its attention. Its head snapped up at the sound and looked in my direction. I released the bolt.

**Smack!**

The bolt piercing its right eye. It slumped to the ground with a thud. I walked over to the rotting corpse, pulled the bolt over and bought my heel down on its skull, crushing it to an oozing mess. Double tap, always a good rule I smiled to myself. I wiped the bolt of the grass. I looked to where the walker had been crouched over. I noticed the dried-out pool of blood. A lot of it. No wonder I had passed out or why Rick was concerned about me coming out here.

 

I found my trail easily after that, recognizing my markers.

I finally came upon the lone oak tree in the field as I stood at the edge of the woods. No walkers in the field.

 

I froze as I heard the soft crunch of leaves behind me. Clutching the bolt, I spun to see two walkers approaching me. “Fuck” I muttered to myself. The first bolt hit its target easily, the now twice dead body hit the ground with a thud. The second walker moved closer, picking up a little speed, as it moaned and drooled. I grabbed another bolt and placed it in the string ready to shoot. I was about to release when another bolt pierced its skull, it moaned slumping to the ground. Daryl coming into view.

“Nice shot” he grunted at me.

“You missed me” I laughed. Daryl smirked at me. “I had it in my sights ya know”

“I know” he smirked again. He grabbed each of our bolts, wiped them on the shirt of the walker and handed me back mine.

“Thanks” I said quietly.

We walked in silence over to the tree.

“I hid my stuff up the tree in the cradle, out of sight.” I said pointing to the spot. Daryl looked up, then put his crossbow down and went to climb the tree. He must have felt me looking at him, silently asking him what he was doing.

“You were shot yesterday. If ya pull yer stitches, I'll just have to carry ya back or shoot ya again” he said before returning to climb the tree. I knew he was right.

“Use the rope to lower the bags, there's a bottle of whiskey and some jars of moonshine I don't wanna waste.” He nodded in acknowledgement.

While he lowered the bags, the horse came wandering over. She looked no worse from when I had left her yesterday. I saddled the horse and packed the bags and rifles.

“Ya'll didn't pack light” Daryl grunted as he hopped down from the tree.

“Everything but the kitchen sink” I mumbled.

Daryl picked up his crossbow and we started walking back.

“Ya owe me some shine” he said in his southern drawl.

“Deal” I agreed.

 

The walk back didn't take too long this time. Didn't even come across any walkers. Although Daryl did manage to find a few squirrels. We walked in silence and it was peaceful. I didn't feel like talking and neither did he. No tension, no awkwardness. Just silence.

 

I was happy to see the trees clear and the farm house come into view.

“Tell Rick I went to search for Sophia”

I scrunched my eyebrows in confusion, I hadn't heard anyone mention her. I turned to ask Daryl who she was but he was already walking back into the woods. She must have meant something to him if he was looking. I continued on my way back towards the farmhouse, leading the horse alongside me.

Andrea watched me from the top of the RV, as did Shane from the make-shift camp. I had the urge to turn tail and bolt. But I was sick of being alone. I just hoped the group would accept me.

As I neared the camp, Rick came over, Shane following close behind, a wild look in both of their eyes.

“Where's Daryl?” Rick asked irritated. Shane eyed me suspiciously.

“He helped me get my stuff, then once we reached the edge of the woods he said to tell you he went to search for Sophia...Who's Sophia?” I asked

Rick was silent for a minute, “Carol's daughter. We lost her about a week ago on the highway, herd passed through, scared her, she ran into the woods. We've been looking for her since” Rick looked sad talking about her. Rick then looked up and his eyes narrowed. I knew then he had spotted the rifles. I rolled my eyes, here we go I thought. I unstrapped them both and held them out to him. He cocked an eyebrow at me surprised.

“It's about trust, isn't it? I'm keeping my bow though. I'm not leaving myself unprotected.”

Rick took the rifles and smiled, it even seemed genuine. “Fair enough” he replied. Shane snorted then stormed off. He obviously still thinks I'm a threat. “Don't worry about him” Rick said to me before walking off with the rifles.

 

I unloaded my bags next to the RV and led the horse round the back of the house towards the stalls. Hershel was inside.

“How are you feeling today?” he asked not looking up.

“Much better thank you” I said with a smile. “Do you have a spare stall I could put my horse in or somewhere I could store the saddle?” I asked cautiously.

Hershel eyed me before sighing. “There's a few stalls at the end that are free and there's feed in the room there” he said pointing to a room next to me.

“Thank you, it's much appreciated. I know you don't have to help and I'll only be here as long as I need to. Once I'm fit to travel I'll be on my way.”

Hershel sighed again and went back to what he was doing.

I led the horse to the stall, took the saddle off, with a bit of difficulty and then shut the door behind me. She poked her head over the door and I rubbed it affectionately. It’s funny to think this horse was my only friend in this world.

I filled the bucket with some feed, the horse greedily ate it. I then filled a bucket with water. I quickly brushed the horse down before making my way back towards the camp.

Lori and Carol smiled at me.

“Did you get your stuff ok?” Lori asked.

“Yeah, ran into a few walkers on the way, took care of it though. Think the horse will appreciate a few days of not dragging my ass around. Should be good to go in a few days.” I said dropping my bags next to a tree and myself with them. I scooted over to the tree and leaned up against it.

“You're leaving?” Lori asked concerned.

“I don't want to be a burden and it’s pretty clear not all of your group is too thrilled with me being here. Once I'm fit to travel I can be on my way.” I said shrugging her shoulders. I winced, that hurt.

“You don't have to be out there alone” Carol said softly, I barely heard her.

“They're going to talk about it later today. I think you should stay. I'm sure Rick feels the same too. Now Shane and Andrea, don't worry about them. They will warm up to ya. Don't take it personally, trust me” she said trying to smile.

I sighed. I guess I could give it a few days if I'm allowed to stay. I got up and crouched down next to my bag. I pulled out the cans of beans I picked up the other day and two jars of moonshine. I placed them next to Lori and Carol.

“It's not a bribe. Just a thank you for fixing me up and hopefully ease some of the tension around me being here, even it is for a few days.”

They eyed the jars and looked back up at me.

“Moonshine” I replied. They both smiled. “Shine and beans, excellent pairing” I said laughing, as did they.

“They'll appreciate it” Lori said. “You can put your bags in Daryl's tent” she said pointing to it near one on the other trees but furthest away from the other tents.

“I'm not so sure he will like that” I said hesitantly.

“He's the only one with extra room and you're his responsibility” Lori said trying to sound like her husband. I scoffed.

“I'll sleep under the tree next to his tent. He can keep an eye on me from there” I said picking up my bags and walking towards the tree, not looking back to hear an answer.

I set my bags down and my bow, grabbing a blanket, I leaned up against the tree and used the blanket as a pillow. It wasn't as good as a bed but it would do for now.

 

I woke later to my side throbbing. I really needed to take better care of myself, hadn't eaten or taken antibiotics or painkillers. I felt my side, praying it was dry. Even the lightest touch hurt. I over did it today and if the group decides I'm not able to stay, I needed to take it easy. I stirred, slowly opening my eyes, it had to be mid-afternoon. I folded the blanket up, placing it on my bag. I looked over to the group, most of them had gathered by the fire. I guess my trial was about to start. As if cue, they started making their way towards the house and Daryl making his way towards me. Let my judgement come, I thought to myself.

Daryl walked past me and went into his tent, dropping his crossbow and lying down on his sleeping bag, one hand resting under his head. I turned back to watching the camp fire in the distance.

To pass the time I rummaged through my bag looking for my mini-kit for my bow. I hadn't cleaned it in a while and it was overdue for some maintenance. I methodically oiled the pulleys, tightened the screws slightly and waxing the string. I could feel Daryl watching me. I tried to ignore him but the heat of his gaze was distracting me. But I wasn't about to question him about it either. So, I continued the maintenance.

The sound of a door slamming startled me. Shane was storming out of the farmhouse, sending a glare my way. I wasn't sure if this was good or bad news. I instinctively clutching my bow tighter.

“Should I be going over to find out my verdict?” I asked to Daryl. He shrugged his shoulders and lay back down.

A few more people started filing out of the house. I lay my bow against my bag and stood up feeling rather nervous suddenly. Rick came out and looked round till he found me and started making his way towards me. I too started walking, taking a deep breath. He stood in front of me and I looked down to my hands.

“When do I have to leave by?” I said nervously

“What?” Rick asked “The group voted for you to stay...That's if you want it want to stay...You don't have to be alone anymore.” Rick said placing a hand on my shoulder.

I looked up a little shocked. “What about Shane? He doesn't seem to agree with you.” I asked

Rick shook his head “Don't worry about him. He'll warm up.” he said trying to smile.

“Well if the group has agreed, I would really appreciate it. It was such hard work being on my own, exhausting really.” I sighed.

Rick smiled. “Not any-more.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had written about the moonshine before that episode aired, laughed when i saw Daryl and Beth drinking it. Must have channeled the writers haha!
> 
> Don't forget to review please!


	5. Provoked

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy. This chapter starts to get a bit dark towards the end, just a warning.

 

Sitting down for dinner felt awkward. Everyone's eyes kept flitting to me through-out dinner. Shane sent glares my way, as did Andrea, so I avoided looking in their directions. Daryl watched me too, I shifted uncomfortably under his gaze. It was nothing like Shane's looks. He smirked at my reaction then looked away, going back to his dinner.

“Where did the moonshine come from?” T-dog asked taking a large swig. I kept my head low, I didn't want the attention.

“Camille. She also supplied the beans too.” Lori said. I felt everyone's eyes on me again. I ducked my head.

As the moonshine was passed around the group, everyone started to relax a little, even myself. Eventually people starting chatting away in their own conversations, I just listened, slowly eating my beans.

T-dog who was next to me, held out the jar of moonshine, “Here you should have some before this lots drinks it all.”

“Cheers” I said tipping the jar and nodding to him. I savoured the delightful burn on my throat and took a second swig, then passed it along to Glenn, who looked a little drunk already. I smirked to myself.

 

“So where are ya from Camille?” Glenn asked.

Everyone seemed to stop eating and look over at me. I swallow the mouthful of food before I answer.

“New Zealand...” some of them looked as though they didn't know where that was. Carl looking especially confused. I couldn't help but chuckle on the inside. “Small little country, bottom of the world, next to Australia”

“That's so cool” Carl said with enthusiasm. I smiled back.

 

As the conversations died down, Rick spoke up “Thank you for the food.”

I nodded. “Call it a peace offering” I said flicking my eyes to Shane. He stiffened before scoffing.

“Rick, man you're not listening to me, she's not part of our group. We can't trust her” he growled at Rick. Everyone stopped their conversations, the mood extra tense. Honestly at this point I was ready to bolt, But I just kept my head down, staring at my plate.

“She willingly handed us her guns, she gave up food and drink. She hasn't done anything remotely wrong. She got shot, that's it. The group decided, she staying. Just make peace with it brother” Rick said in a more hushed tone towards Shane.

“This is bullshit!” Shane roared before storming off.

I finally lifted my head, “I know you guys said I could stay...but...”

Rick cut me off, “I'll talk to Shane. You are more than welcome to stay. I promise he'll stay out of your way.” He looked at me holding my gaze.

Everyone stayed quite quiet after that, the only sounds being the crackle from the fire and the scraping of utensils against the plates.

Carol took my plate when I was finished she smiled warmly at me. Eventually people started making their way to bed. I said goodnight and made me way over to my bags. I was about to pick up my blanket when a voice behind me startled me.

“Ya gave away my shine, thought we had a deal?” he said in his southern drawl.

I turned around to see him closer to me than I expected.

“Correction, I gave them two jars, there's still two in my bag” I smirked. He nodded before turning to unzip his tent.

I sat down next to the tree, draping the blanket over myself.

“What the fuck are ya doin?” he asked a little angrily.

“Going to sleep” I said raising an eyebrow at him.

“Not out there ya ain't” he said like it was obvious. He then got up and grabbed my bags, placing them in his tent.

“I don't...” he cut me off, grabbing my bow.

“Get in. I ain't got all night” he growled, narrowing his eyes. I stood there a little dumbfounded. “No arguments. Get in.” he growled louder this time. At this point, I knew it was worthless to fight him at this. I picked up the blanket, then made my way into the tent, keeping my eyes down.

He stepped in, zipped it up, kicked off his boots, shrugged out of his jacket and lay down on his sleeping bag with a sigh.

I turned away finding something to change into to sleep in. I found my pj pants and a baggy tank. They weren't dirty but they weren't clean either. I kicked my boots off and looked back to Daryl, he wasn't paying attention, good. There wasn't that much light in the room, so if I was quick I would be able to change without any wandering eyes. I quickly slid off my jeans and into my pjs and did the same with the top. I winced in pain, maybe I was a bit too quick as I lowered my top. I could feel his eyes on me again. He really knew how to make me nervous but different to the way Shane made me feel nervous. I couldn't quite explain it with Daryl.

I grabbed my hoody and balled it up for my pillow for the night. Then rummaged through my bag for some painkillers and antibiotics, took a couple and downed them with some water. I glint of a jar caught my eye, I placed the jar next to his crossbow. I wrapped the blanket round me and lay down facing away from Daryl, keeping off my injured side.

I could hear Daryl constantly moving beside me. Obviously, me being in his tent was throwing him off. He huffed quietly to himself. I shut my eyes and tried to block it out. I was biting my tongue not to say anything. If I did I could see it going one of two ways, he would either kick me out or get angry and walk out. He continued to fidget beside me. I pulled the blanket tighter around me. I could feel his eyes on me again. I don't know how long I lay there before I fell asleep.

 

I woke several times during the night, forgetting where I was, frantically sitting up, my side aching each time. I think I woke Daryl at least once, he grumbled something inaudible then fell back asleep. I wasn't sure if it was nightmares or something else.

 

The sun was up now finally. Wasn't sure what time it was either. Daryl was already up and gone, his crossbow too, probably out looking for Sophia. I noticed the jar of moonshine was shifted to the top of his bag, that made me smile. I found some clean-ish clothes, put on my boots and made my way outside. Everyone seemed to be gathered round the camp-fire, having a serious conversation by the looks of it. I reached back into the tent grabbing my smaller backpack. I quickly took some painkillers and antibiotics, grabbed my iPod and bow and headed round the back of the tents, sneaking past unnoticed towards the stables. I plugged in the headphones trying to clear my mind.

My horse was in her stall. I noticed someone had put more feed and water in the troughs. I watched happily from the stall gate. She seemed quite happy now.

 

**Smack!**

My head collided violently with the post in front of me, knocking me out cold.

As I was coming to it felt like I was being dragged. Did a walker have me? My body wasn't cooperating and trying to move out its grasp was too much work. All I could think was I hope I die quick. Just make it quick. I repeated over and over in my head.

My headphones were ripped out. I could hear muttering. It was a man but I couldn't quite place the voice, my head was so groggy, even to open my eyes was difficult.

“Shit, shit shit...she wanted it” he trailed off. I felt my shirt being ripped open, the buttons popping off. My body was limp and I wanted to scream for help but my body wouldn't respond. He ran his fingers over my cheek, across my lips, down my throat.

I was honestly wishing it was a walker right now. This is why I believed being on my own was safer. And why being a woman in this world was dangerous.

His hand continued down my breasts grabbing them roughly. I tried to struggle now, barely making a move. My body betraying me by responding to his touch. He took this as a sign that I was saying yes.

“I knew ya wanted it” he growled. I blacked out.

I stirred to him roughly grabbing at my belt, in my mind I was screaming, cringing at his every touch. His other hand reached up to my breast again. My bra now gone, must have disappeared when I blacked out. My head was starting to become less fuzzy, my vision was so blurry I couldn't see who it was. I opened my mouth to scream, his hand quickly clamped down over my mouth.

“Don't worry I'll make you scream” he grunted in my ear. He kept his hand over my mouth as he went back to getting my jeans undone. I was starting to struggle now, ever so slightly, most of his weight on top of me, was making it difficult. I think it spurred him on as I tried to struggle. And each time I moved he jabbed at my wound. I could feel the tears running down my cheeks, the pain pulsing in my side.

I suddenly heard voices in the distance coming towards the stables. He and I both froze.

**Crack!**

As I tried to scream, he picked up my head and smacked it hard against the ground. I could feel the world slipping away again. I felt his weight lift and mutter something before I blacked out again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Review please, you know you wanna!


	6. After

 

I felt cold.

I slowly opened my eyes. Fuck, that was a bad idea, my head throbbed. What the hell happened? My side ached too. I felt my side expecting an open wound, there wasn't an arrow. That's a good sign. Wait. Why the fuck was my shirt and bra missing...What the hell happened?

 

My mind was racing, then I started getting flashes from earlier. My mind instantly thought rape. I shakily felt down to my pants, they were still on, belt was undone though. I felt the tiniest bit of relief. They obviously got interrupted.

 

I opened my eyes again, it looked to be late afternoon. I needed to get up. I took a deep breath and forced myself to sit up. I now noticed the blood on my hand, looked like I had popped a few stitches. My bra and top were beside me. I struggled to put my bra on, thankfully it did up in the front and pulled my shirt on, the buttons ripped off, I pulled it closed. Another flash going through my mind, him groping me, I shuddered and wanted to throw up.

 

Was it an outsider passing through and saw me or was it someone from the group? If I stayed where I was I would certainly die or become a meat sacks lunch. I grabbed my iPod and shoved it into my pocket. I gritted my teeth and tears silently falling down my cheeks pushed myself up, it was excruciating. It was starting to get darker, I needed to hurry up. I finally made it shakily to my feet. Must have landed on my knee funny, it wasn't twisted but it hurt like a bitch.

 

As I looked around now I realised I was out the back of the stables. I grabbed my bow and half dragged it on the ground. I was too weak to pull it over my shoulder. With my remaining strength, I slowly started back to the camp. I could see the fire in the distance.

As I got closer only a few people were there. I clutched at my top and at my bow with the other hand.

“Is that...” Dale gasped.

“Is she… _a walker?_ ” Carol spluttered out.

“Help” I managed to say faintly, stumbling a little.

Andrea and T-dog came rushing over, Andrea grabbed my bow and T-dog put my arm over his shoulder helping me over to the fire. I was seated on a bench.

“A...man...he attacked me... I think he tried to...” I said before the tears started flowing.

“Carl, go to the tent now!” Lori barked.

Someone wrapped a blanket round me.

“Did you get bit?” Andrea asked a bit defensively, pointing to my bloody hand.

“He hit me with something hard, knocked me out cold. It gets blurry after that. Some of my stitches are broken, I think when I struggled...I don't think he...” I trailed off, not wanting to say the word.

“Oh my god” Andrea said shocked. She sat beside me and reached out to grab my hand. I flinched, she held on to my hand and rubbed it. “It’s alright you're safe now.”

 

Lori knelt in front of me, a bucket and a few cloths in her hand. She started washing away the dirt, blood and tears from my face. I completely zoned out, my mind continually playing it over in my head. I was pulled back when the water hit a fresh cut on the top of my forehead. She poured a little of the left-over moonshine on to a cloth and looked up at me.

“This is gonna sting a little.”

“Fuck” I cursed quietly.

“Sorry” she muttered.

“It’s ok” I breathed.

“Did you see who attacked you? What he looked like?” she asked

I shook my head. “Don't think I recognized his voice, was just one though. My head was so foggy, think I was in and out of it.” I breathed heavily.

 

“They're back!” Dale called from the top of the RV. T-dog and Lori got up walking towards the RV. Andrea and Carol staying by my side.

“She's back” I heard Lori say.

“Is she ok? Where was she?” I heard a familiar southern drawl.

“Was she bit?” Rick asked.

“No. She was attacked. A man...he tried to ra... Daryl wait!” Lori called.

Seconds later Daryl was in front of me, looking me over, with concern I think.

“What the fuck happened?” he growled quietly.

I dropped my head, looking to the ground. “I went to feed my horse, got jumped from behind, he cracked my head against something, blacked out. I remember waking, half my clothes gone, something spooked him, knocked me out again, then I woke up not long ago.” I said flatly, tears silently falling down my cheeks. I looked up to see everyone staring at me, concern etched on their faces.

 

“Did you see what the guy looked like? Any details you can remember?” Rick asked, sounding more like a cop. If the situation was appropriate I would have laughed.

I shook my head. “I can't remember much, he whacked me head pretty good, I was too groggy to even fight back.” I was fighting back the tears now.

“We should get Hershel to look at you” Rick said.

I nodded and weakly tried to stand, Andrea and Carol helping. I clutched at the blanket tighter. They led me to the house. Hershel and Patricia looking at me very worried. Andrea started to explain briefly what happened, I interrupted her.

“My stitches just need to be repaired.” I said quietly.

Hershel nodded and led the way to the room. I sat on the bed and Hershel politely asked the others to leave the room. I caught sight of Daryl just before Hershel closed the door.

“I'm sorry this happened” he said placing a chair in front of me.

“I'm alive” I croaked. He tried to smile.

He looked over my wound on my head, inspecting it. It didn't need stitches, he placed a few pieces of thin tape over it. Then looked at the back of my head.

“Just a bump, it'll be sore for the next few days. If you feel dizzy you need to tell someone straight away” he said looking back to me. I nodded. “I need to see the wound on your side.” I clenched my eyes closed and slowly dropped the blanket. I heard the in-take of his breath as he saw the state on my top.

“Lay on your side and I'll fix the stitches.” he said trying not to sound bothered.

I lay down and zoned out as he inspected and stitched back up the wounds.

“All done.” he said quietly. I stood up, pulling the shirt round me. Hershel placed the blanket over my shoulders again. I smiled up at him,

“Thank you” I said quietly. He smiled warmly in return.

 

Hershel opened the door, I was surprised to see only Daryl there. He instantly looked up when the door opened.

“You should rest” Hershel said, I nodded, smiling again and tried to start walking towards the front door. Daryl beside me, putting an arm around my waist holding me up. I said nothing as he led me to his tent. He sat me down on my blanket, turning on the lantern. I couldn't look him in the eyes, so I focused on his hands. He looked me over, inspecting the damage. He hesitantly reached for the blanket, I was still looking at his hands. I released my hold on it and let it fall. He eyed the state of my top. I saw his fists clench in anger then release. He went to my bag, grabbing the clothes I wore to bed last night and handed them to me. I turned my back to him changing into the clothes. I knew he was watching me, waiting for me to crack.

“Do ya wanna be alone?” he asked me. I shook my head. He nodded. “I'll get Andrea or Carol to watch ya for a bit then I'll be back. Just need to talk to Rick and Shane.” He waited a few seconds before getting out of the tent, heading back to the camp. I sat there numb. Carol came in a few minutes later, with a bowl of food. She sat in front of me and handed me the bowl.

“You must be starving” she said quietly. I forced a smile as I took the bowl and began to eat. I really was hungry. I finished my dinner quickly and Carol took the bowl from me. “I'll tuck you in” she said in a motherly tone. I didn't complain and lay down, on my good side, my back to Carol. She sat beside me rubbing my back. I don't know how long she was there before I heard the zip from the tent.

“Um thanks” he muttered to Carol.

Carol leaned over and kissed my forehead and said “If you need any of us, just holler.”

“Thanks” I croaked, not moving.

I heard Daryl mutter “night” as he zipped it closed.

 

He moved around the tent, doing whatever. I closed my eyes and somehow managed to fall asleep. The last few days had exhausted me completely. I still managed to wake several times during the night, in a panic. The day’s events playing over and over.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Does anyone have any thoughts about the story so far?


	7. Interrogation

 

I roused from my sleep rather groggy. My head throbbing and my body felt like it was full of bruises. I looked over to see Daryl was already up and gone. I sat up to look for some clothes to change into, my eyes fell on the ruined shirt. Flashes of yesterday going through my mind. It angered me. I changed quickly and put on my boots. I down some painkillers and antibiotics, then unzipped the tent. My bow sitting by the door. Daryl must have put them there. I grabbed the ruined shirt and walked outside.

A few people were sitting round the camp-fire, Lori, Carl, Carol and Glenn. Andrea and Dale were on top of the RV. Everyone looked up when they heard me approaching, all smiles and looks of relief on their faces.

“You're up” Lori said happily. “How are you feeling today?” she asked cautiously.

“Sore” I said simply.

“We're just making breakfast, take a seat, will be ready in a few minutes” Carol said.

I walked over to the fire and dropped the ruined shirt into the flames. They all just stared at me and said nothing. I took a seat.

“No point in keeping it, it’s useless now” I stated. They all looked round at each other in shock I think. I sighed, “I'm fine. I just want to move past this.”

“Ok...after breakfast, you should go get Hershel to look over your injuries again, just to be safe.” Lori said trying to sound like her husband again. She handed me a plate of eggs. I inhaled the eggs quickly, I was starving.

“Where's everyone else?” I asked after I cleaned my plate.

“They went to look at the stables” Lori said hesitantly. I froze, the flashes coming into my head again.

“I'll go see Hershel” I said getting up quickly and walking towards the house.

 

 

I walked to the door of the farmhouse and knocked quietly.

“Come in” Hershel's stern voice rang.

Hershel was sitting at the dining table, reading and eating breakfast. I looked at him hesitantly. I felt like I was interrupting.

“I can come back after you're done?”

“No, that's quite alright. Do you need me to check your wounds?” He asked putting his book down.

“Yes please. I'm not feeling any worse but with all my compounding injuries, I thought I should get a check up to be sure.”

 

Hershel smiled and led me to the room off to the side. I sat down and zoned out as he inspected each of my injuries. I winced as he peeled the tape away from the cut on my head and dabbed some alcohol on it, then replaced the tape. He lifted my top to inspect the arrow wound.

“It's healing nicely, another few days and the stitches can come out.”

“Thank you. You didn't have to help me when Daryl bought me here. I'm truly grateful.” I said smiling.

“I guess this means you're staying on then?” he asked

“Honestly I'm not sure. Either way seems unsafe for me. Although I don't know if I could go back out on my own again.” I said glumly.

Hershel looked to be holding something back. I wasn't going to press him about it. “Thank you” I said again before quietly getting up and walking back outside.

 

 

Lori was sitting next to Carl, looked like homework. Homework in the apocalypse, poor kid.

I grabbed my bow, walking past Carol. Dale shouted at me from the top of the RV.

“Where are you going?”

“For a walk” I said continuing to walk.

“Do you think you should be going off alone after yesterday?” he called.

I stopped in my tracks. “I'll stay within your sight, just to the fence” I said moving forward.

I didn't walk far. I knew I would get an earful from several people if I did. One person in particular. I just wanted some space. I found a spot, I climbed the fence and sat on the railing facing the woods. It was hard to believe how unaffected this place was at times. I just stared into the distance. If I were to leave, would it be easier on my own? I wouldn’t survive long in the condition I was in at the moment. Most of the group seemed to have warmed up to me but whether I was welcome was another story. I understood I was new so trust had to be earned.

I froze, I could feel those eyes on me again. I looked round to see Daryl walking towards me looking very pissed off.

I sighed turning back to the woods, “I stayed within Dale's sight”

Silence.

“I don't have to be your responsibility, ya know...look I'll find somewhere else to sleep, so I'm out of your way” I kept my eyes on the woods, afraid to see his reaction.

“Fine” he huffed walking away. I'm sure I heard him mutter “stupid bitch”.

Great, just what I needed. One more person off-side with me. I stayed out there for another half an hour before making my way back. I avoided going directly back to the camp and instead made my way to the top of the RV.

“How was your walk?” Dale asked.

“Peaceful...until...” I trailed off.

“Daryl” he said raising an eyebrow at me.

“Yeah” I sighed “Pretty sure I have one less vote to stay.”

“I wouldn't be so quick with that judgement.” he said placing his hand on my shoulder, giving me a look of _I'm old and wise, I know a few things._

“And what makes you say that?” I asked almost scoffing.

“He hasn't taken his eyes off you since he bought you here”

“That's called suspicion and doubt” I said rolling my eyes. Was it only obvious to me?

“No. Shane looks at you like that” Dale said quietly. I froze, my eyes locking on to his.

“Oh, you noticed that too.” Dale nodded. “I don't trust him” I whispered. Dale squeezed my shoulder. I think he was silently agreeing with me.

 

I stayed up on the RV for most of the afternoon talking to Dale. Mostly about our lives before all of this. It felt nice to talk about my family and friends. I focused on the happy memories.

 

 

“They're back” Dale said. By the looks of it, no Sophia. I could hear Carol sobbing below in the RV. I looked to Dale sadly.

“I'm going to see if they need help with dinner” I said making my way down the ladder. I grabbed my bow sitting beside the RV and walked towards Daryl's tent. I had to be fast grabbing my stuff to avoid running into him. I stuffed a few things into the bag and hurriedly walked outside, only to come face to face with the one person I was avoiding. I was silently cursing on the inside. I froze. I could feel the anger rolling off him, he stared down at me with an intense look. I swallowed nervously.

“What the fuck are ya doin'?” he asked gruffly.

I looked at my bags, “Giving you your tent back” I said meekly.

He moved closer, grabbing my bag from my hand. I was expecting him to throw it, instead he dropped it next to his inside the tent. I looked at him confused, the anger that was there a minute ago, had disappeared from him.

“There's no where else for ya to sleep. And I'm meant to be keepin' and eye on ya” he grunted. I chuckled. He looked at me, his anger flaring up again.

I sighed, “I know your group doesn't trust me. I know you don't trust me. I'm well aware of all of this” I said throwing my hands up, “But I'm not a threat. I stayed alone in fear of what people are capable of, especially now. Few weeks back I came across four men. They tried to pile on the charm, talking about sanctuary and safety, but I knew if I went with them, there wouldn't be any of that. They eyed me like I was a piece of meat. I said no thanks and they left and I left in the opposite direction. In this world, to certain men, women only serve as a cook or a cleaner or a whore. I got lucky that time.” I said all emotion gone from my face.

Daryl stayed silent for a moment then huffed, “Yer sleepin here and that's final.”

I nodded. I wasn't going to argue.

“C'mon dinners ready” he grunted before walking back towards the camp-fire.

 

Everyone was quiet during dinner.

Rick was the first to speak, “Tomorrow morning, we'll split into team of two and each group takes a grid. Finally get the search more organised” he said looking round the group. I heard Carol beside me let out a soft sob.

“We'll find 'er” Daryl said softly to Carol.

I wanted to offer to help but I knew if I did people, well a few individuals would handcuff me to the RV if I tried to go.

 

“Camille, can we have a word?” Rick asked.

I looked up nervously. So, this was the talk I had been waiting for since I had arrived. I knew starting to feel comfortable here was a big mistake. I got up and placed my empty plate in the wash-bin. Rick and Shane got up and gestured towards the RV. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Daryl get up too and follow us. Were they expecting a huge fight out of me. It’s not like I had any weapons on me or would be able to take on three guys, even if I wasn't injured. The situation was making me nervous. I took a seat at the table in the RV. Rick sat opposite me and Shane sitting across from us. I think Daryl was at the door. I shifted uncomfortably.

“We had a look down by the stable today” Rick started. I looked up surprised. “Can you tell us what you remember?” Rick said in his cop voice.

It took me a few seconds to reply, I took a deep breath and started to replay the images in my head. It was still quite fuzzy though. “I went to feed my horse, had my headphones in. Was standing at the gate, then woke up somewhere else. I couldn't open my eyes; my head was foggy and it hurt something wicked. I remember him mumbling something but I can't remember what. Ran his hands over me. I blacked out. When I came to again, my top and bra were gone, he started to undo my pants, but something spooked him.   I blacked out again. Then I woke and it was late afternoon.” I said rushed looking down at my hands now.

“Did you see his face?” Shane asked narrowing his eyes. I shook my head.

“Was his voice familiar? Maybe someone you had previously met? Rick asked.

I thought for second, trying to think, I shook my head. “I don't know. My head was so foggy at the time. I mean I couldn't even fight back or scream” I said sobbing. “He must have thought I...” I trailed off.

Rick looked concerned, whereas Shane still eyed me with suspicion.

“We'll find out who did this” Rick said sternly.

“Was that all?” I asked gravely.

“Yeah, thank you” Rick said.

 

I got up and walked past Daryl at the door. He followed behind me as I walked back to the tent. I didn't have to look to know he was there. The night was cold. I hugged myself until I got back to the tent. All I wanted was to go straight to bed.

 

He gave me privacy while I changed, then came in a few minutes later carrying both my bow and his cross bow, setting them down in the corner. I wrapped my blanket round me tight. I could feel it was going to be colder tonight.

 

“Ya'll gonna need a sleeping bag for winter, ya'll freeze without it” he said to me as he got into his.

“Hadn't come across one in my travels.” I shrugged.

“But ya found moonshine” he teased.

“Drunk and warm was plan B” I joked.

“And what's plan A?” he asked.

I turned to look at him, “Find a hot guy, flirt with him, get him drunk and then bolt with his sleeping bag” I said with a straight face. Daryl narrowed his eyes. I cracked a smile and laughed. “Honestly never had a plan. Just run...for as long as I can.” I sighed. He stayed silent. “Your sleeping bag is safe” I said lying down.

“Are you going out tomorrow to search for Sophia?”

Yeah” he grunted.

“If I offer to help...”, he cut me off.

“No” he growled.

“When are you going to fucking trust me?” I said exasperated. “I just want to help and I really want to shoot something...I can help” I sighed.

“If something happens...” he stopped himself.

I don't know why I bother arguing with him. He's fucking impossible! Five minutes earlier we had a bit of banter, now...now it was as cold as ice.

“Fine. Plan B it is” I grumbled, turning away from him. I heard him sigh.

 

I couldn't sleep. First it was anger because of Daryl, now all I could think of was home and it fucking cold. I pulled the blanket round me tighter. It wasn't helping. Of course he had to be right, just perfect. I think in the end my exhaustion got the better of me and I fell asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Anyone have any thoughts so far?


	8. Information

I woke early in the morning, the sun barely up. And I felt warm, very warm. Not sure how I managed that but I was glad I was warmer. My anger from the night before forgotten for now. I peeked through my lashes seeing faint light coming through the tent. I shifted slightly, feeling stiff, when I felt a weight on my waist. I froze. It gripped me tighter. I looked down to see a warm around me. When the hell did that happen? Well that explains why I was so warm. I felt him stir beside me, I stayed still. Last thing I needed was an awkward moment with Daryl.  His hand still gripped me and I could now feel his warm breath against my neck. It was hard to be mad at him when he was like this. I didn't realise how much I had missed human contact till now. Not that I'm about to admit that too him.

 

Each time I shifted ever so slightly he would pull me closer to him. I felt his hand move and I thought he was awake and was moving away, so I stayed still. I held my breath when I felt his cold hand now under the blanket and resting on my hip below my wound thankfully. I tried again to try get out of his grip, but it only tightened and I was sure I heard him growl as well. It was low so I could have been imagining it.

I closed my eyes, admitting defeat and tried to go back to sleep.

 

Thirty minutes later I felt him stir again, this time he seemed to be awake. It took him a minute or two to realise the situation. I feigned sleep, closing my eyes and staying utterly still.

“What the hell” he muttered quietly. I felt him withdraw his hand and then slowly move his body away. I felt the absence from his body heat. I heard him quickly get dressed and then retreated from the tent. Zipping it closed behind him. I finally let out my breath, not realising I had been holding it.

 

I waited twenty long minutes before I got up and got dressed. My aches weren't as bad today, my body was quite stiff though. Grabbing my bow as I made my way towards the camp-fire. Daryl looked to be already out looking for Sophia, good one less thing to worry about. Shane, Andrea, Rick and T-dog were sitting around the fire. Shane avoided acknowledging my presence. Rick and T-dog smiled at me.

“When are you all going out to search for Sophia?” I asked taking a seat.

“In about an hour” Shane grunted.

 

I watched as they all started to pair off and head out. I wanted to volunteer but I knew I still had to earn trust with the group. So I stayed back with Carol, Lori and Carl. Doing “women's work”. All I wanted to do was go out and hunt. Oh, how I missed shooting things. So this is how I spent the next two days, cooking, cleaning and washing. It probably was for the best, let my injuries heal.

 

And now Hershel said we could take the stitches out. It pinched but it felt much better without them. I felt I could move better. I felt today would be a good day to offer to help with the search.

 

Shane, Andrea and T-dog were sitting round the fire this morning.

“If everyone is fine with it and you need an extra person, I would like to help. I want to.” I said catching Andrea and T-dog's eyes. T-dog nodded at me and Andrea smiled. Shane just glared at me like I just offered to kill a puppy. What was his problem? He was really getting on my nerves.

“Well let me know if you need an extra pair of eyes.” I said getting up. I walked over to the fence, leaning on it, looking out to the woods. I had done this a few times over the last few days. It was my solace. I stood there admiring the view, before my mind started to wander, a certain red-neck clouding my vision. Why did he have to make things complicated? If I left it would make it so much harder. The last few nights I woke up to have arm wrapped round me. I wasn't sure if it was him or me unconsciously or consciously gravitating towards each other. We never said anything to each other about it and one of us always crept out in the morning before the other woke. I walked down the driveway a little, still within eyesight, knowing that I would get an earful if I did. It was beyond frustrating, they may as well chain me to a tree.

 

I had been sitting out here for an hour or so, maybe two and was quite surprised I hadn't felt eyes glaring in my direction or being yelled at for being out on my own. I sighed heavily knowing I should head back.

When I got there, no one was there. What the hell did I miss? Surely if something had happened I would have heard gunshots or screaming. No one was even on top of the RV, something was going on. I looked to the woods, checking to see there wasn't an incoming herd of walkers. Nothing. Finally I spotted them all standing at the barn. It looked to be a heated discussion. I saw Daryl go off and lunge at Shane. Rick stepping in between them, then Glenn, Andrea and Lori also stepping between them both. They all looked like they were trying to reason with Daryl. He looked like he had had enough and stormed off. Carol following him a few moments later. I didn't know if I was welcome enough to go down there yet. If they wanted to involve me they would have.

 

I grabbed a couple of peaches from the basket beside the fire and made my way back to Daryl's tent. I sat down under the tree, setting my bow beside me. I grabbed my iPod from my pocket and turned up the volume, drowning out all my thoughts. I quickly ate the peaches. The group still hadn't returned. I needed something to occupy my time. I looked over to my bow. It was could do with another tune-up. Check to see if there was any damage done the other day. Last thing I needed was for it to break on me, probably at the worst time too. I went over to the tent and grabbed my smaller backpack. I sat back down against the tree and got to work. I checked over all the bolts, then went to work on my bow.

I was so consumed I didn't even see Lori standing in front of me, if she wasn't till she bent down and waved her hands in front of me. I pulled out my headphones.

“Morning” I smiled. She had a grim look on her face.

My face sank, “When do I have to be out?” I breathed.

Lori looked confused, “What?”

“I'm surprised they sent you to give me my marching orders” I said turning my attention back to my bow.

“We found out this morning, the barn...it's full of walkers!” she said a little panicked.

“What?” I burst out, looking back up to her.

Lori proceeded to tell me the story. By the end my jaw was on the ground. I was shocked. This was a ticking time bomb.

“So, what are we doing about it?” I asked.

“I don't know. Hershel thinks they can be saved. His wife and step-son are in there. Rick's going to talk to him...but Shane...he's all fired up. I don't know what he will do.” Lori said looking quite worried.


	9. Stroll through the woods

Most of the group had come back and were standing around the fire, looking nervously towards the barn. Rick and Andrea were standing by the car looking over a map. I think putting together a plan for today search for Sophia. I saw Hershel and Jimmy walking towards them. They had a brief conversation before Rick went off with Hershel and Jimmy. Andrea started to walk towards the barn. I hoped this barn situation would be sorted soon. It has potential to go very bad, very quick.

 

The tension around camp was thick. Everyone was on edge. I honestly wanted to stay out of the way. I was uncomfortable. I went back to the tent and grabbed my bow, quiver, machete and tucked a pocket knife into my boot. I slung my bow and quiver over my shoulder. I'd go hunt for an hour or two, mostly I just wanted to shoot something, relieve some tension and frustration. I knew someone would yell at me when I got back but I needed it.

 

“Where you off to?' Dale called out from the top of the RV.

“To hunt” I said still walking.

“You think that's a wise idea” he called.

I stopped and turned back to face him, “Am I a prisoner?” I asked.

“No but...”

I cut him off, “No one will get the jump on me. I just need to go shoot something. Blow off some steam. Maybe get some dinner while I'm out. If anyone asks tell them I went hunting. I'll be fine. I promise Dale.”

He looked conflicted, then nodded. I waved and carried on walking.

 

As I approached the trees I took the bow off my shoulder and took out a bolt and stopped listening to the sounds of the woods. No shuffling feet or moans, good sign. I felt more at ease already. I looked for tracks and kept my eyes on the surrounding woods. I came across a walker, whistling to get its attention before taking it down. I retrieved the bolt and carried on tracking. It was mostly quiet on the walker front after that. I did however manage to get six rabbits. Quite lucky with that find.

 

Was about lunchtime now and I hadn't found much in the last while, so decided to head back. I grabbed three bolts out and clipped them into the rack. When I clicked the last one into place I heard twigs snapping up ahead. I took my bolt and pulled it against the string. It slowly emerged from behind a tree, I lined up the shot, it stumbled at I let the arrow fly, just missing its head. I took another bolt and shot it through the head. As it fell to the ground another corpse appeared behind it. I sighed. It had noticed me.

“Damnit” I cursed. It started charging towards me. I grabbed another bolt and took it down just a few feet away from me. I breathed out, that was close.

I was just retrieving my last arrow when I heard a gunshot, then another, until it was a flurry. It was in the direction of the farm. Fuck, the barn. I started briskly jogging back towards the farm being careful not to trip and cause more trouble. I had come a fair way from the farm, a mile or so. It shouldn't have taken too long to get back but the gunshots attracted attention. I took down a few stray walkers on their own, then they were starting to clump together in groups of twos or threes.

I was walking lightly through the woods now. Trying not to stir up attention and sneaking up on the walkers and taking them by surprise. It had slowed my progress back to the farm. At one point, I had to jump up a tree and shoot them down one by one. I had come across a group of six and I knew I wouldn't have enough time to shot them down on the ground, they were too close. So up the tree I went. I didn't need to get their attention as they already spotted me and were shuffling faster towards me. I stayed in the tree for a few minutes, making sure the coast was clear before I carried on.

 

I had a few close calls and was now covered in dirt and blood, not mine thankfully. The shooting had stopped about fifteen minutes ago, and nothing since. I hoped I wasn't too late. I wasn't sure what I was going to walking into when I got back. I was just about at the tree line, and hadn't come across a walker for a wee bit. I was just hoping I had got all the ones that heard. And surprisingly I still had the rabbits. But if I had to give them up for a distraction I wouldn't have given it a second thought.

 

Finally, I made it out past the trees. I scanned the fields, no walkers. I was exhausted. I had to keep going back to camp. I was half-way through the field when another gunshot rang through, I dropped to the ground. That just about hit me. Inches away.

“Hey?! What the hell?” I yelled angrily from the grass.

No reply. I could hear people shouting and the sound of people approaching me. I wasn't taking any chances, I took a bolt out and held it against the string and slowly rose from the ground. Rick, Shane, T-dog and Daryl all stood before me, weapons raised.

“Why the fuck are you shooting at me?” I growled angrily. They lowered their weapons, relief washing over their faces, except Shane.

“Were you bit?” Rick asked pointing to my appearance.

“If I was I wouldn't have come back” I spat, “After all the gunshots, it raised a little attention. Had to take down over a dozen walkers on my way back. I'm not bit.” I said putting the bolt back into the clip.

They all looked surprised. I was trying to resist the urge to roll my eyes.

“So, what the hell happened? Was it the barn?” I asked.

Rick nodded. “We should get you back to camp” he said.

 

They turned and started making their way back. I slung my bow over my shoulder and went to follow them. Daryl stood in front of me and glared at me. I went to step around him and he grabbed my arm.

“What were ya thinkin' goin' off on yer own?” he growled, still scowling.

“I needed to get away from all the tension that was going on around the camp. And I just wanted to shoot something. Plus, I got dinner” I said pointing to the rabbits.

His grip tightened. “Ya can't go off on yer own” he growled.

“Am I a prisoner?” I said narrowing his eyes. He kept his eyes fixed. I sighed. “I was fine. And if I hadn't taken out those walkers on the way back...” his grip loosened. He was quiet now as we walked back.

“I know you're against it but tomorrow I want to help out with the search...”

He stopped me mid-sentence, “No need” he said flatly.

“You found her?” I said a little hopeful.

“Not exactly...she was in the barn”

It took me a few seconds before I realised what he meant. “Oh” was all I said.

 

The mood around camp was sombre. I handed the rabbits over to Lori. She smiled before her face turned sad again. I went to the tent, dropped my bow at the door, grabbed a few clean clothes and headed for the shower in the farmhouse. I took a quick shower, washing the dirt and dried blood off me, dried myself then got dressed into the clean clothes. It was eerie quiet in the house. I took my dirty clothes with me and went downstairs. Outside was quiet too. Andrea was on watch on top of the RV. No one else seemed to be around. I saw the bucket for washing and a pile of dirty clothes, looks like they were in the middle of laundry before they were interrupted. I sat down and started doing laundry.

 

“I'm sorry. I thought you were a walker” Andrea called from the RV.

“Lucky you missed” I said trying to smile.

“I know. I feel like shit about it” she sighed. I nodded.

“Its fine, next time make sure I'm sure I'm dead before you shoot at me.” I said continuing with the laundry, then hung the clothes up.

I sat down next to the fire and Andrea joined me a few minutes later.

“We're having a funeral in a bit” she said. “I can't believe she was in there the whole time” she said sadly.

“How's Carol?” I asked.

“Not good.”

We sat in silence for a few minutes before she spoke again.

“I hear you took down a bunch of walkers on your way back” she said sounding impressed.

“Yeah, they were heading towards the farm, gunshots attracted them. Would have gotten back sooner if I hadn't run across so many. I was lucky they weren't all in one group...What happens now?” I asked.

She shrugged, “I don't know. I think Hershel wants us to go but Rick is trying to talk to him...I better get back to watch duty.” she said heading back to the RV.

 

I stood a few feet behind Daryl at the funeral. I didn't even know the people who died but to show respect I attended. A few people spoke before we all headed off in our own directions. Daryl followed me back to his tent. I went inside and kicked off my boots and lay down on the blanket. Daryl stood out there for a few minutes before he came in and sat down with his back towards me. He was quiet. I wasn't sure if he wanted to be left on his own or to talk or if I should be there at all. I stared at the roof of the tent, Daryl sat there in silence, not even moving. I was exhausted, all that hunting, running and killing walkers had taken it out of me. I closed my eyes and started to doze off. Not long after I heard the tent zip. He must have gone for some alone time. I snuggled into the blanket and continued to doze.

“Ya can't go off on yer own any more” Daryl whispered I jumped, startled.

“You scared the crap out of me” I said trying to catch my breath.

“I mean it. Ya can't. Not anymore. Not after So...” he caught himself.

I turned towards him, he wouldn't look at me.

“Ok.” I said softly “but I'll still go hunting and scavenging, just not alone.” I waited. He said nothing. I was waiting for him to blow up at me. I knew he wouldn't be happy about it. I sighed. I could however feel the anger rolling off him.

“Do you want to be alone?” I asked.

He said nothing. I took that as my cue. I pushed myself up and went to move past him. He avoided all eye contact. He was so stubborn at times. It was angering me now. I put my boots on, unzipped the tent, grabbed my bow before I walked out. I needed to blow off more steam. I walked past the RV and Andrea called out to me.

“You ok, Camille?” she asked. “What's wrong?”

“Men” I replied.

She knowingly smiled and nodded.

“I won't go far” I called as I carried on walking.

I ended up at my favourite spot in front of the fence. I sat on the railing and looked out to the woods. In the back of my mind I wanted to bolt but that was the anger talking. There was no drama when I was on my own. I almost expect my stuff to be thrown out of the tent when I go back.

I sat there for a while and let my anger simmer and cool. When I walked back to the tent I was surprised my stuff wasn't outside. I hesitantly peeked inside the tent, it was empty. I sighed with relief. I sat my bow down, kicked off my boots and lay back down on my blanket.

 

I woke hearing voices outside the tent. I yawned, rubbing the sleep from my eyes. I turned over facing the tent door. I could see the glow from a fire outside.

“Ain't you a peach” Daryl sneered.

“I'm not gonna let you pull away. You've earned your place” Carol said softly.

“If you spent half your time minding your daughter's business instead of sticking your nose in everybody else's, she'd still be alive!” Daryl spat at her. That was low of Daryl. By saying hurtful things, he was pushing her away. This was Daryl on the defensive. Act like an asshole, so you don't get your feelings hurt. It was all an act.

“Go ahead” Carol said not backing down. She knew what he was doing too.

“Go ahead and what?” Daryl growled angrily. “I mean just go! I don't want you here...” his tone rising with his anger, “You're a real piece of work lady...What are ya gonna make this about my daddy or some crap like that...Pftt you don't know jack!” he was pacing as he berated her.

“You're afraid...You're afraid...'cause you're all alone. You got no husband, no daughter....You don't know what to do with yourself...You ain't my problem... Sophia wasn't mine!” he yelled louder this time. I felt for Carol, he was being an ass right now, I hoped she was standing strong.

“All you had to do was keep an eye on her!” he yelled angrily before I heard him stalk off. Carol going back towards the farmhouse a few minutes later.

 

I heard him come back about twenty minutes later. I waited another ten, just in case he was still in a mood. I didn't want him to go off on me as well. I was also going to pretend for now that I didn't hear him go off on Carol. Otherwise I really would be sleeping outside.

 

I pulled my boots on and took a deep breath. I unzipped the tent door to see Daryl stoking a small fire and cooking one of the rabbits. He looked at me then went back to stoking the fire.

“What time is it?” I asked sleepily.

“Dinner time” he grunted.

I went back to my bag and found the last jar of moonshine. I sat next to him, took a swig and offered it to Daryl. He took it from me and downed a few mouthfuls before setting it down between us.

“Do I need to find somewhere else to sleep?” I asked keeping my eyes fixed on the fire. He sighed taking another swig and handing me the jar. We ate the rabbit in silence. The moonshine almost gone. The fire was now starting to die down. I took one last swig before standing up a little shakily.

“Where you goin?” he asked narrowing his eyes.

I rolled my eyes, “Bed” I said simply and turned going into the tent. I grabbed something to change into and quickly undressed. I was just about to put my top on when Daryl walk in. Impeccable timing on his part. I'm just glad my back was to him.

“Sorry” he mumbled. I quickly pulled it on and wrapped the blanket round me.

“Do we have to leave?” I asked.

“Not sure.” he said simply.

“I hope not” I breathed “I don't want to go back out there on my own again” I whispered.

“Ya wouldn't be alone” he replied. I smiled to myself. I snuggled further under the blanket, knowing the alcohol would wear off soon. I looked over at Daryl, he was staring up at the tent roof, looking to be deep in thought. I knew it had to do with losing Sophia and probably the fight with Carol earlier. If I asked him to talk about it, he would shut down or storm off. So, I stayed silent. I turned on to my side away from Daryl, out of habit, closing my eyes. I shivered, the alcohol wearing off faster that I thought it would be, just great. He sighed.

“I'm fine” I grumbled.

“No yer freezing” he retorted.

“Obviously I didn't drink enough” I said sarcastically.

“Plan B huh?” I could hear the smile in his voice.

I sighed. “Are you always gonna get mad, if I go out there?”

“Yes” was all he said.

“Am I a prisoner?” I asked quietly.

“No” he said.

“But you feel responsible for me?”

He stayed silent. I assumed he wasn't about to admit anything. I shivered again.

I heard him sigh again. He moved around and then I heard him unzipping his sleeping bag. I jumped when I felt his hand on my hip, then the warmth of his body next to mine as he moved closer.

“What are you doing?” I asked suspiciously.

“Yer freezing” he said simply. I was frozen in place. He sighed and removed his hand. In one swift movement, he unzipped the sleeping bag further, hooked an arm round my waist and pulled me flush against him. He adjusted the blanket, moving it over us. I breathed out and winced.

“Ya know I'm still injured, right?” I croaked.

“Yeah but ya won't freeze to death now” he said his warm breath hitting my shoulder. I shivered again. He froze, then relaxed, his arm still firmly wrapped round my waist.

It was hard to complain when he was so warm. I started to relax. Another shiver ran through me, he pulled me closer, his hand resting on my wounded hip. He stiffened as I moved my hand to his.

“Wound is still tender.” I said quietly. He went to move it away but I stopped him. He rested his hand on my hip, his fingers now tracing the entry wound in the front and then to the exit wound on my back. I was trying to concentrate on keeping my breathing even, all this human contact was stirring something else inside me.

“I have one just like it. Just over a week and a half ago was out searching, horse spooked, threw me down a hill and I landed on one of my own. Fucking hurt too, more so when I pulled it out” his fingers still tracing each wound.

“It did hurt” I said yawning. Daryl shifted his arm round my waist again and making sure he wasn't leaning on either of the wounds.

“I'm sorry” he mumbles quietly. So quiet I wasn't sure I heard it.

“For missing the deer” I said sleepily. “Venison would have been amazing” I yawned. He chuckled behind me. His head resting against my shoulder.

I fell asleep, very warm.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm happy with what I've put forth so far but......  
> I need some feedback :o) Go on.....review....


	10. Anger and Confusion

I woke the next morning, surprisingly still in Daryl's grip. Maybe the moonshine had knocked him into a deep sleep. I gingerly tried to move myself out of his grasp, only to be pulled back against him.

“Where ya goin'?” he mumbled behind me.

“Thought you were still asleep”

“Been awake fer' a bit” he said.

“Figured you would have snuck out before I woke up” I said stretching a little. Daryl took the advantage running his hand over each of my wounds. I closed my eyes and tried to ignore the feelings it was stirring inside me. I had a feeling he was doing this on purpose. But also as a distraction and to forget about yesterday’s events. I couldn't say I blamed him but I wasn't about to be a distraction, as tempting as it was. I could feel his breath on my shoulder. He was making this impossible.

I shook my head and tried once again to move out of his grip. This time he pulled harder, grabbing my other arm. I was now facing him, a smug look on his face.

“So, you planned to stay in bed all day?” I asked raising an eyebrow at him. I could see the change in his eyes.

“Yo Daryl. You up man?” Shane bellowed.

“Yeah” Daryl growled loudly, he looked pissed. I smirked back at him, trying to suppress my laughter. I felt Daryl's grip tighten around me again, he didn't like being interrupted.

“We're leaving in ten if you wanna help look for Rick, Glenn and Hershel.” Shane said as he walked away.

“Time to get up” I said. Daryl sighed, releasing his grip slightly. I took the opportunity to get up and get dressed, quickly throwing on some clothes, knowing he was watching my every move. I picked up his shirt and threw it at him.

“C'mon get dressed” I said grabbing my bow and walking out of the tent. I heard him sigh loudly and mutter something that I couldn't quite hear.

 

 

I walked over to Lori, Andrea Dale and Shane, who were standing around one of the vehicles.

“Do you need an extra hand?” I asked. Shane narrowed his eyes at me, Andrea looked conflicted, Dale tried to smile, then Lori turned around.

“What happened to you?” I asked worried. She was cut and bruised.

“I went to look for Rick, crashed the car” she said looking away.

“You ok?” I asked, she nodded. “So where are Rick, Glenn and Hershel?”

“After the funeral Hershel left, Rick and Glenn went to bring him back, but that was late afternoon yesterday” Lori was looking more worried by the minute, constantly looking back out to the driveway.

“So, let's go then” I said.

“Na uh not you!” Shane protested.

“Seriously you need all the help you can get. You don't know what we're walking into. I'm a good shot.” I said trying to stand my ground.

“You ain't part of our group” Shane hissed.

“Shane!” Andrea barked.

“No one wants you here” he sneered getting right up in my face.

“Shane!” Lori said sounding shocked.

“You need to fucking leave...and never come back, before I make you” he said saying the last part quietly.

He pushed past me, knocking me back a little. I knew he had a problem with me, for what reason I still didn't know. He had never lashed out of me. It angered me.

Lori walked after him, “What the hell was that Shane?” she asked in a low voice, grabbing his arm. 

“We can't trust her. She needs to go” he growled.

“Don't listen to him” Andrea said quietly beside me.

Daryl finally emerged from the tent, unaware of the situation. “We goin' or not” Daryl called to Shane.

“Yeah let's move” Shane said smugly.

 

I walked away at that point taking the long way back to the tent. I heard the truck pull up, driving quite fast. Then a lot of concerned voices.

“Who's this?” Shane said pissed off.

I could see them all rush towards the house, carrying somebody. No one I recognized. I sniggered to myself, bet Shane will love that.

 

 

Lori looked in my direction, saying something to Carol then made a bee line for me.

“I'm sorry about Shane” Lori said sitting next to me.

“It's not your fault. He's just an asshole. What his problem is with me, I have no idea.” I said bluntly. “Who was injured?”

Lori looked back to the house. “His name is Randall, he was injured. Rick didn't really say how they came across him. Hershel's in there now fixing him up.”

“Do I have to worry about Shane?” I asked hesitantly.

Lori understood my meaning, as she looked over to where he was.

“Honestly I'm not sure any more...I made some bad choices when I thought Rick was dead...Now I'm pregnant and I don't know if its Rick's or Shane's...” she said through tears.

She was pregnant, that was news to me.

“Does Rick know?”

She nodded. “So, does Shane. He thinks it's his, what happens though its Rick's.” she said firmly. I think she was trying to convince herself as well as me. I was unsure what to say, so we sat in silence. She wandered off after a little while, making her way to the house, leaving me on my own.

 

 

People were constantly coming and going from the farmhouse for the next few hours. I saw Daryl stalk off to the woods in an angry mood. I knew better than to follow him. Shane came out after him, called out but he kept on walking. Shane looked over to me, glaring at me. He started to walk over then stopped, smirking at me, then walked in the other direction. I looked down to see I was clutching my knife, I hadn't realised I had grabbed it.

 

 

It was late afternoon now and I decided to head inside, knowing they would want help with dinner.

“Do you need any help?” I asked. They smiled and Lori handed me a knife and some vegetables to chop. I didn't say much, I just listened to their conversations.

 

 

At dinner, everyone was rather quiet. I sat at the smaller table with Beth, Maggie and Glenn. The only sounds in the room were crashing of knives and forks against plates. One at a time each person would look up from their plates and look around the room, catching eyes with a few people. I could feel his eyes on me, he was at the far end of the other dining table but my back was to him.

 

After dinner, I helped clean up then asked Maggie if she had extra blanket I could borrow. She found one and gave it to me with a smile. I made my way back to Daryl's tent. I unzipped the tent, Daryl wasn't in there. I got in, zipping it back up, got changed and wrapped myself up in my blankets. It would definitely help with the cold. I placed my knife above my head, within reach, for safety. I couldn't rely on Daryl to keep me warm each night. I never knew when he would change his mind. I lay down on my other side, the ache barely there now, drifting off to sleep.

 

 

I woke later groggily to the sound of the tent unzipping.

“Daryl?” I asked sleepily.

“Who else would it be?” he grunted.

“You're late tonight” I said through a yawn.

“Was on watch” he said as he kicked off his boots and got ready for bed. He didn't seem to be in much of a talkative mood, so I pulled up my blankets round me and closed my eyes.

“What'd Shane say to ya?” he asked quietly.

I was surprised he even knew.

“He was just being an asshole” I said trying to down play it.

“What'd he say?” he said turning towards me, his face hardening.

I sighed. “I wasn't part of your group. No one wants me here. I can't be trusted. I need to leave or he would make me.” I said sighing again, getting it all out in one breath.

Daryl let out a huff and sat up. He was angry, I sat up grabbing his arm, he tried to shake me off, so I held tighter.

“Daryl” I said firmly. “He ain't worth it...Daryl” I said again trying to get his attention. He finally looked at me, anger burning in his face. I moved closer to him, slowly.

“I'm fine” I said calmly, squeezing his arm. His face softened slightly and he let out a big sigh.

“If he tries anything, you tell me” he said moving closer, a little venom in his voice.

“Fine” I said calmly “but if Rick or Hershel buy into his bullshit and they decide I need to go. I don't see myself as having much of a choice...C'mon let’s get some sleep” I said tugging him gently back to his sleeping bag. He was quiet, I could feel him scrutinizing the situation. He sighed heavily before getting into his sleeping bag. I adjusted the blankets round me again and lay back down still facing Daryl. I closed my eyes as I tried to get comfortable. Once again, I could feel his gaze on me.

“You still angry?” I said through a yawn.

“If you leave, I leave” the hint of venom still in his voice.

“Wouldn't you miss people here? Carol, Glenn, Dale?” I asked “The group...they depend on you more than you think.”

He shifted uncomfortably, obviously expressing feelings and such was not something he was used to. I reached out for his arm to reassure him, instead I found his bare chest. He froze and I went to move it away but his hand stopped mine. I smiled inwardly, I had missed human contact, especially of the more intimate kind.

“You're over-thinking it, just sleep” I whispered, out of instinct, rubbing his chest with my thumb. He stiffened momentarily before relaxing. I too started relax and started to doze. I felt him shift, so I took the hint and moved my hand, snuggling back into the blankets. He shifted again moving closer, his hand resting on my hip, his breath hot against my face.

“What are ya doin' to me” he sighed.

“What?” I mumbled.

He sighed again, this time louder.

“Confusing me” he said a little angry.

My drowsiness was starting to wear off. And quickly.

“Confusing you? I've told you I'm not your responsibility...” I said moving away a bit.

He cut me off, “I didn't ask to babysit you...”

I now cut him off “So then what the hell are you confused about? Look, you don't want me to touch you, fine! You don't want me to talk to you, fine! If you want space, I'll find somewhere else to fucking sleep. Just don't treat me like this is one sided” I said a little bitterly.

He froze, hesitating. He looked like he wanted to say something but he stopped himself. It annoyed me that he made me angry.

I turned over facing away from him, his hand still resting on me. I closed my eyes again and tried to put the anger out of my mind. It took a while but my drowsiness won out and I fell asleep.

 

 

 

The next few days it was pretty silent between Daryl and me. He would avoid looking in my direction, although there were few times I felt his stare boring into me. I didn't respond. He was avoiding me as much as I was avoiding him. The nights were the most uncomfortable. He would try take watch and sneak in later when I was asleep. I had thought about finding somewhere else to sleep but there really wasn't any room in any of the tents or the RV and I wasn't going to ask Hershel, he was only just accepting the group staying at the farm.

 

So, my days were filled with doing laundry and cooking, helping where I could. Made sure I stayed out of Shane's way. Took up practising with my bow by the barn. I could feel him watching me then too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Would love some more reviews! Hope everyone is enjoying it.  
> Any comments welcome...


	11. Convince Me...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was a bit tedious to write. A lot of conversation, back and forth. But it needed to be written.  
> Thanks for those who commented, it makes my day!  
> Without further delay.....Enjoy!

I stood around the tents listening to everyone voice their concerns on the Randall situation.

“So, what are you gonna do? We'd all feel better if we knew the plan” Lori said crouching down in front of the fire.

“Is there a plan?” Andrea spoke up.

“We gonna keep him here?” Glenn asked hesitantly.

“We'll know soon enough” Rick said looking back to the shed.

That's when I noticed Daryl walking back, crossbow over his shoulder, his knuckles bloody. He looked to Rick then round the group.

“Boy there's got a gang, thirty men. They have heavy artillery and they ain't looking to make friends. They roll through here; our boys are dead. And our women, they're gonna” he hesitated looking at me “They're gonna wish they were.”

 

 

There was a look in his eyes, that what he last said was more about my attack outside the stables. Was Randall the one or was it one of his group. My mind shut down and I stopped listening to the conversation after that. I turned and walked back to the tent. I grabbed my bow and carried on walking not even paying attention to where I was going. I got half way through one of the paddocks, when I realised my stupidly for going off alone. I turned only to see Daryl trailing me twenty feet back. I hadn't heard him, although I really hadn't been paying attention to anything.

“You ok?” he asked concerned.

I shrugged my shoulders “Just trying to process” I said flatly.

“I don't think it was him who attacked ya. But sounds like somethin' their group would do. Little bastard even told me ‘bout how they found a father and his two teenage girls...” he trailed off, probably from the look on my face.

“I figured as much when ya looked at me.” A few flashes of the attack springing forth in my mind. I shook my head, getting rid of the memories.

“So, is that why your knuckles are all bloody?” I said pointing to them. He looked down at them and nodded once. I frowned a little.

“Sorry I walked off” I mumbled looking down at my feet.

“Ya needed space, I get that.”

“Thank you” I whispered. I had been so used to him blowing up at me, his reaction surprised me a little but for once he understood.

Daryl nodded, then looked back to camp. “C'mon” he said.

We walked back slowly towards the camp. I would see him glance over at me every few steps. I stopped walking, he halted beside me.

“What?' he asked sighing. He looked confused.

“You keep looking at me, like I'm about to bolt” I said raising an eyebrow.

He shook his head and continued walking. “C'mon” he called.

I caught up with him. I saw him smile out of the corner of my eye.

 

 

Back at camp it was a bit tense. The few that were there looked up at me, looks of pity and sadness on their faces.

“I'm gonna go find Rick” Daryl said to me, giving me a long look before walking away. Lori came over to me.

“You ok hun?” she asked putting a hand on my shoulder.

“Yeah it was just a bit of a shock” I said sighing. “Do you need help with the laundry?” I asked trying to change the subject.

She smiled, “Yeah that would be helpful.”

“I'll just go gather some more laundry.” I said walking back to the tent. I lay my bow down on my blanket. I grabbed what dirty clothes I had and shoved them into a plastic bag. I looked over to Daryl's stuff, a few dirty sleeveless flannel tops lay in the corner, some socks and jeans. I shoved them in too. I didn't think he would complain about clean clothes.

 

I sat next to Carol near the camp-fire. Lori came back with two buckets of water. Carol emptied one of the buckets in the bin I was sitting in front of. Lori doing the same to hers. We sat in silence for a bit before they both started asking questions about my old life. I talked about my friends and family and they shared some of their stories. As we talked it made me forget about recent events. It felt almost normal. Except for the fact that I was doing laundry by hand, god I missed washing machines.

 

Dale wandered over to us, a look of concern on his face.

“I came to talk about Randall” he said looking between each of us. “I think we should talk to him before the group decides to cast him out. Just because of how Rick came upon him, doesn't mean we should condemn him” he pleaded.

“Or he could run back to his group and bring them here” Carol said.

“Camille?” Dale asked a little harshly.

I shrugged my shoulders, “I don't know...I mean it could have been him or one of his group that attacked me, I don't know if it was...I'm honestly not sure who to agree with” I said sadly, going back to the laundry in front of me.

“He deserves a chance!” Dale pleaded again.

“We'll think about it” Carol said, forcing a smile.

Dale looked unconvinced, he shook his head and walked away. I watched as he walked away, feeling a little guilty.

 

 

Most of the group had gathered in the living room of the farmhouse. Tension was thick around the room.

“Let's gather up” Rick called.

I kept my eyes to the floor as I stood in front of Daryl. It was silent for a minute.

“So how do we do this? Just take a vote?” Glenn asked.

“Does it have to be unanimous?” Andrea spoke.

“How about majority rules?” Lori softly said.

“Well let's...let's just see where everybody stands, then we can talk through the options.” Rick said in his authoritative tone.

“Well, where I sit, there's only one way to move forward” Shane said from behind Andrea.

“Killing him right” Dale said angrily, “I mean, why even bother to take a vote? It's clear which way the wind's blowing” he said as he looked round at the group.

 

My heart broke for him pleading for this kid's life. I understood what he was asking but if Randall or one of his group were the one who attacked me then I couldn't take the chance. My mind skipped over the attack again, I screwed my eyes shut and silently wished the nightmarish images would disappear. I was bought out of it by Daryl, his hand gently squeezing my hip, I turned my head a little to see him out of the corner of my eye and tried to smile, then turned my head back. He held his hand there for a few more seconds before dropping it. I tuned back into the debate.

 

“This is a young man's life, and it’s worth more than a five minute conversation!” Dale said raising his voice. “Is this what it's come to? We kill someone because we can't decide what else to do with him? You saved him and now look at us” he said looking to Rick. Rick kept his face neutral. “He's been tortured. He's gonna be executed. How are we any better than those people that we're afraid of?”

“We all know what needs to be done” Shane said impatiently.

“No. Dale is right. We can't leave any stone unturned here” Rick said almost defensively.

“We have a responsibility” Lori said looking to Shane. Who was now looking more pissed off by the minute.

“So, what's the solution?” Andrea interrupted.

“Let Rick finish” Lori said scolding Andrea.

“We haven't come up with a single viable option yet. I wish we could.” Andrea said looking round the room.

“So, let’s work on it” Dale said exasperated.

“We are” Rick said aggravated.

“Stop it!” Carol said loudly, “Just stop it. I'm sick of everybody arguing and fighting. I didn't ask for this. You can't ask us to decide something like this” she looked round the room, finally resting on Rick. “Please decide...either of you, both of you but leave me out.”

“Not speaking out or killing him yourself, there's no difference.” Dale retorted.

“All right, that's enough” Rick said throwing his hands out in front of him to try and calm the situation. “Anybody who wants the floor before we make a final decision, has the chance” Rick said making a point to catch everyone's eyes.

“You once said that we don't kill the living” Dale said trying to reason.

“Well that was before the living tried to kill us and attack, almost raping Camille” Rick spat.

I cringed, shrinking away, my eyes once again on the floor. I was hoping I wasn't going to be bought into this. If the group decided to kill him because he was an outsider, what's them to stop and turn on me. They may have voted for me to stay but I still wasn't a part of the group, not completely. Whether I was to be banished or worse. No I hadn't shot at the group or had come to them in a hostile manner but I was still an outsider. I mean I still had a babysitter, so how long would it take for the group to finally trust me. Daryl squeezed my hip again.

“But we don't know if it was Randall or his group...So he's guilty by association?” Dale questioned. The room was silent. I knew people were looking at me but I wasn't about to look up.

“Well what about Camille?” I looked up terrified. Was I being thrown under the bus? “She came into our group, we voted her to stay, she's been an asset, who's to say Randall won't?” Dale rationalized.

So, I was the test case.

I heard Shane snigger. “She hasn't been a fucking asset! Y'all debated whether she should stay. And it wasn't a short conversation. Even you had your piece to say old man!” Shane sneered to Dale, then shooting me a smug satisfied look. Anger and fear were bubbling up inside me. I wanted to punch the stupid look off his face. But if I did that I would more than likely end up sharing the shed with Randall. When they kill Randall, was I going to be next?

“Shane” Rick said. Shane just glared at him, then at me.

I was sick of listening to this. I turned and made a swift exit towards the front door, not looking to anyone as I did. Before I was out of earshot I heard Shane say “She ain't a part of our group, when will you people realise that.”

 

I went straight to the tent. I sat down feeling numb. Maybe my position in the group wasn't that clear. I was shocked Dale would bring me up. This was supposed to be about Randall, I felt rail-roaded by it all. Should I pack my stuff and go or do I wait till the meeting is over, so the lynch mob can round me up.

I thought Dale and I got along just fine, maybe Shane has been in his ear too. I sat there just looking at my bag, not moving, not making a sound. I was just numb.

 

 

I heard footsteps approach the tent. I figured it would be Daryl. I was surprised to see Dale there, a look of concern on his face.

“Do I have to leave?” I choked out.

He looked at me, pain in his eyes.

“I'm sorry...”

I cut him off, “Am I being locked up or do I have to leave?” I said holding back the tears.

He stepped forward placing a hand against my shoulder and looked into my eyes. “You're part of this group, no one is locking you up.”

“Why did you single me out?” I said through my sobs.

“To try save Randall. I am sorry. I didn't mean to throw you into the shark's tank. Shane was the only one speaking against you, the rest of the group defended you. I said what I said with the best intentions. I'm sorry.” he said quietly before turning and walking out.

 

I sat there a bit shocked. I had taken Dale's comments out of context but I still felt uneasy about the situation. Shane's comments didn't help either. I had stopped crying but I still sat there, going back to my numb state.

 

 

I heard footsteps approaching again.

“Just leave her be” Daryl called form a distance.

The footsteps stopped. I heard them grunt then stalk away.

Moments later Daryl stepped inside the tent. He looked me over, obviously evaluating my mental state. “You ok?” he asked crouching down in front of me.

“Felt like I was thrown under the bus back there” I said without emotion.

“Yeah shocked me too. Don't worry, nothin's happenin' to ya, won't let it” he said holding my gaze. There was a glimmer of something else in his eyes, concern, something more maybe.

Without thinking I leaned in and kissed him. He stiffened, surprised. My mind snapped me back and I pulled away quickly, looking down. Feeling like an idiot. “Fuck, sorry, I didn't think, I...” I stammered only to be pulled back, his lips crashing to mine. This time I was the one to freeze. It surprised me he had responded like this, I expected the opposite. He stopped waiting for me to respond. I brushed my lips against his and I felt him smirk. He responded instantly kissing me with such intensity. I wrapped my arms round his neck, one hand buried in his hair. His hands gripped my hips, pulling me tighter against him, his rough hands moving under my top, his touch setting my skin ablaze. A small moan escaping my lips as he caressed my skin. He smirked again, breaking the kiss, both of us trying to catch our breath. Then his mood shifted, he dropped his hands and moved away from me, his face looking angry, he looked away from me and quickly made his way out of the tent.

 

Fuck.

 

It had hurt me that he walked away but I didn't blame him. I shouldn't have done it in the first place. _Fucking idiot,_ repeated over and over in my head. Pushing him, only pushes him away. Just when we were starting to get along I had to go and fuck it all up.

 

I looked at my bags, I repacked my backpack, putting the essential items in, in case I would need to make a quick exit. Packed a clean top, socks, underwear, meds, face cloth, ammo, dried goods, water bottle, torch, batteries, a lighter and my mini solar panel. I packed the rest into the other bags.

I put the bags against the tree outside, my bow resting against the tree.

I looked around and didn't see Daryl.

 

 

I walked over to the farmhouse, Rick was standing on the porch talking to Hershel. He saw me coming over, said something to Hershel then walked over to me.

“Camille, sorry...”

I cut him off, raising a hand. “I think I've overstayed my welcome here and I should move on. I just wanted to let you know so no one worries and you can tell them I left. And I would appreciate getting my weapons back” I said looking defeated.

Rick furrowed his brows at me, “You haven't over-stayed. You're part of the group. I'll sort out Shane. But if you want to leave, that's your choice but I would suggest waiting till morning, will be dark soon.” he said looking defeated himself.

I glanced around, I hadn't realised how late it was in the day. I nodded. “In the morning, then.” I said turning back to the camp. I had said all I wanted. I noticed the washing on the line and quickly grabbed mine and Daryl's and bought them back to my bags. I folded them, placed Daryl's on his sleeping bag and packed mine into my bags. I sat up against the tree and grabbed my iPod, turning up the music loud and closing my eyes.


	12. Escape

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Big shout outs to Debbief722 and lourryfeelz for commenting on my last chapter, you guys made my day!! I appreciate every comment made. Have been lucky they have been so lovely xxxx
> 
> I struggled writing the last half of the chapter but think it's coming together nicely, trying to put some of my own spin into this. Got some good stuff coming up in the next few chapters. Any predictions?  
> ENJOY!!!

After listening to music for about an hour I looked over to the camp-fire, most of the group were there, except Rick, Shane and Daryl. I guessed they were taking care of the Randall problem. I turned the iPod off, shoving it back into my bag and grabbing some crackers out of my bag.

Another gourmet dinner.

 

It was starting to get quite dark now and cooling down, so I quickly put my hoody on. I could see Rick and Shane making their way back to camp.

 

Then I heard the most terrifying, blood-curdling scream from out in the field.

 

I could feel it drain the colour out of me.

I quickly grabbed my machete and sprinted out to the field. Most of the group were also making their way out there, I was just behind Glenn. For the second time in the space of a few minutes I felt the colour drain from my face.

It was Dale.

He was lying on the grass, his torso torn open. He was in agony, looking round to everyone. Andrea was knelt beside him sobbing. I was in shock, then I felt the tears running down my cheek. No one deserves this death, especially not him.

“Can we move him?” Rick asked afraid.

“He won’t make the trip” Hershel said quietly. Andrea sobbed louder.

“You have to do the operation her. Glenn, get back to the house” Rick said frantically.

“Rick” Hershel pleaded.

“No!” Rick yelled frustrated, then knelt beside him.

“He's suffering” Andrea said between sobs. “Do something!”

Everyone was sort of frozen and not wanting to step up.

“Come on” Shane whispered.

Rick got his pistol out and held it out, looking at Dale, he hesitated and stood up, unsure what to do. Dale looked frightened and in pain.

“Oh god” Andrea said clutching Dale's hand and turning her head away.

Rick still stood there hesitating, Daryl stepped beside him, taking the gun and a knee.

“Sorry brother” he said hoarsely.

**Bang!**

The shot echoed in my head. More people started crying. I was just feeling numb. Andrea still held onto his hand, sobbing loudly. I said a prayer in my head for Dale and silently apologized. A few more tears escaped.

I started walking back to the tent. It was too much standing there, looking at Dale's lifeless body.

 

I came to realise something on my way back, I couldn't leave, I couldn't go back to being alone. Being alone gets you killed, unfortunately Dale's death just proved that to me. I grabbed my bags and put them back in the tent. I sat back outside the entrance of the tent.

 

 

I heard the heavy footsteps approaching and I looked up to see Daryl. He looked angry.

“Yer leavin'?” he spat at me.

I shook my head. “Not any more. I can't go back out there on my own...not after...Dale” I swallowed.

He paced a few times before he unclenched his fists, his face softened and he sat down next to me. He turned away reaching back into the tent, pulling out the jar of moonshine I gave him. He unscrewed the lid and took a large swig then held it out for me.

“To Dale” I whispered, taking a small mouthful. It burned my throat but I didn't care. I welcomed the burn at this moment.

“I'm sorry for earlier. I shouldn't have...I over stepped” I said, avoiding looking at him.

“That why you were gonna leave?” he said sharply.

“That and after the meeting today...I don't know...but after Dale...” tears welled up. I shut my eyes forcing them back, taking a few deep breaths.

We sat in silence for a while before I decided to head to bed. The day had been far too emotional, my head just wanted to escape and sleep it off. I quickly changed and set my blankets up, this time a little further away from Daryl. I wanted to give him his space. I'd already fucked up once today, well twice if count saying to Rick I was going to leave. I wrapped myself up and surprisingly fell asleep pretty quick.

 

I woke later feeling rather warm. I moved slightly, when I felt a hand pull me closer to the warmth.

“Go back ta sleep” Daryl mumbled next to me.

I froze.

I hadn't expected Daryl to come anywhere near me. His fingers rubbed my hip, tracing over my healing wounds, trying to get me to relax. It was hard to pull away, his touch felt so magnetic. It took a few moments but I started to relax into his touch. I was sure I could feel him smile as I relaxed.

“Did I wake you?” I asked sleepily.

“Mmm ya were all fidgety” he mumbled, his thumb continuing to caress my skin. I sighed. I guessed it had to do with all of today's events, more so Dale's death. Although I didn't remember having any dreams that could have woken me.

“Do you think we're safe here?” I asked. His hand froze.

“No...no such thing as safe anymore...just go back ta sleep” he said gruffly, his thumb once again trying to lull me back to sleep. I tried to settle back into the blankets, the sound of soft snores from behind me.

 

But I still couldn't shake the uneasy feeling I had in the pit of my stomach.

 

We all stood around Dale's grave-site. I stood behind the group a few feet back, not sure I was fully accepted by the group any more. But I wanted to say goodbye and show my respect for the man. I thought about the few long talks we had had. I would miss that.

Rick stood at the front giving a eulogy. I tried to listen but honestly, I was more lost in my own thoughts, thinking about what could have happened to my family. I doubted that I would ever find out and that was still hard pill to swallow.

 

After a few minutes of silence, I started walking back to the tent. I was pulled from my own thoughts when someone tugged on my arm. I stopped, turning back around.

“You alright?” Carol asked me, eyeing me.

“Yeah just made me think about what could have happened to my family. Not that I would ever get to know, being half a world away” I said glumly.

She put her arm around my shoulder, comforting me.

“We can be your family too” she said with a small smile. “Did you hear that we are all moving into the farmhouse today. It’s not safe out here anymore...not after last night” she choked out.

“How are we to all fit in there, there's fifteen of us...Guess it'll be the floor...but makes sense with winter coming.”

 

“All right, let's move the vehicles, near each of the doors, facing out to the road.” Rick said pointing out directions. “We'll build a lookout in the windmill, another in the barn loft. That should give us sightlines both sides of the property.”

I stood next to Daryl and nudged him, “I'll go get our things” I said quietly to him. He nodded once. I started walking over to the tent. Most of my stuff was already packed and Daryl didn't have a lot, so it wouldn't take me long. I packed a few more essentials into my backpack and placed it outside. I quickly packed Daryl's stuff and placed his bags outside. Next I bundled up his sleeping bag and my blankets.

T-dog helped me take down the tent and carry the bags inside. I put them in the sitting room off to the left, where Hershel had patched me up. No one was in there for now. Not that I expected my own room.

 

For the remainder of the morning we shifted out stuff into the farmhouse. Daryl was off securing Randall's stockade. Shane distanced himself from the group, working on the windmill.

Rick was standing on the porch looking over a map.

“Rick” I said getting his attention.

“I see you decided to stay” he said smiling.

“Yeah after Dale...I realised how hard it would be on my own again. I hope you haven't changed your mind” I asked hesitantly.

“Not at all...Was there something else you needed?” he asked.

“Yeah, I was wondering if I was allowed my hand-gun back? It's just a precaution. Rather have it and not need it, than need it and not have it.”

He kept his face indifferent and nodded. He walked back inside and minutes later he handed me my gun.

“Just don't leave it lying around” he said with a small smile.

“Yes sir” I nodded, placing it in my holster on my thigh. Just at that minute Daryl came walking over, raising an eyebrow at me. I turned to him. “I packed it up and put your stuff inside.” He nodded at me and I walked inside.

 

Rick and Daryl were loading up the last of the supplies for their run. While T-dog went to get Randall. I hoped Daryl and Rick would get home safe.

Minutes later T-dog came running back. Panicking.

“What's wrong?” Rick asked frantically.

“Randall's missing” T-dog said out of breath,

Everyone started to gather outside with all the commotion.

“Missing? How?” Hershel said.

Rick, Glenn, Andrea and Daryl all inspected the shed.

“The cuffs are still hooked. He must have slipped 'em” Rick said his eyes darting round the property.

“Is that possible?” Lori asked holding Carl close to her.

“It is if you've got nothing to lose” Andrea said walking out of the shed.

“The door was secured from the outside” Hershel said inspecting the door.

“Rick! Rick!” Shane yelled from the tree line near the shed. He was limping a bit, and blood coming out of his nose.

“What happened?” Rick called back to him as he approached.

“He's armed!...He's got my gun!” he said walking over to us.

“Are you okay?” Carl asked frantically.

“I'm fine” Shane bit out, “Little bastard just snuck up on me, clocked me in the face” he said wiping some of the blood from his nose.

“All right, Hershel, T-dog, get everybody back in the house. Glenn, Daryl, come with us” Rick said giving out the orders.


	13. Over-run

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was flattered once again by your comments guys, thanks heaps!  
> Couldn't wait to post this, looking forward to the next few chapters.  
> As always........ Enjoy!

We quickly made our way inside. I found myself looking back over my shoulder, watching the four men disappear into the trees. I went straight to my bags. I grabbed all my hand gun ammo and shoved them into my backpack. I placed an extra clip into my holster next to my gun. I packed my machete into my backpack as well as my quiver. I left them sticking out, in case I needed them in a hurry. I set my backpack and Daryl's bag and my bow by the door of the room.

It was tense in the house. I was finding it hard to sit still and would be constantly looking out the window. I hated feeling this confined. T-dog, Andrea and myself all stood watch.

Minutes passed, then a few hours.

It was now dark outside. I had a sickening feeling growing in my stomach.

 

Then we all heard it.

A single gunshot.

Everyone in the house froze.

 

Fifteen minutes later Glenn and Daryl came inside.

“Rick and Shane ain't back yet?” Daryl asked.

“No” Lori replied worried.

“We heard a shot” Glenn said.

“Maybe they found Randall” Lori replied.

“We found him” Daryl said.

“Is he back in the shed?” Maggie asked.

“He's a walker” Daryl said his eyes resting on me for a few seconds.

“Did you find the walker that bit him?” Hershel asked.

“No, weird thing is, he wasn't bit” Glenn said.

“His neck was broke” Daryl said looking to Hershel.

“So he fought back” Patricia said folding her arms across her chest.

“The thing is, Shane and Randall's tracks were right on top of each other. And Shane ain't no tracker, so he didn't come up behind him...No they were together” Daryl said looking back to me again. I understood what he implied and I would have to agree.

Lori walked over to Daryl, “Would you please get back out there, find Rick and Shane and find out what on earth is going on” she pleaded.

“You got it” he nodded.

“Thank you” she smiled.

Daryl walked over to me and eyed me, “You ok?” he asked.

I nodded. “Be careful out there” I whispered. He nodded back at me.

Daryl, Andrea and Hershel walked outside, a minute later Hershel rushed back inside

“Patricia kill the lights” he said frantically.

I walked outside and to my horror there were hundreds of walkers coming out of the woods and making their way towards the farmhouse.

Fuck, why did my gut have to be right...

“I'll get the guns” Andrea said jogging back inside.

“Maybe they're just passing, like the herd on the highway” Glenn said, “Should we just go inside” he said looking to Daryl.

“Not unless there's a tunnel downstairs I don't know about. A herd that size would rip the house down” Daryl said clutching his crossbow.

Lori came rushing out in a panic, “Carl's gone!”

“What?” Daryl said annoyed.

“He was upstairs. I can't find him any more” Lori said panicked.

“Maybe he's hiding” Glenn said.

“He's supposed to be upstairs...I'm not leaving without my boy!” Lori said more panicked.

“We're not. We're gonna look again” Carol said stepping beside Lori and back into the house.

Andrea came out with the bag of guns, she handed me my rifle.

“It's no use” Daryl said looking at the growing herd.

“You can go if you want” Hershel said.

“You gonna take 'em all on?” Daryl asked.

“We have guns. We have cars” he said flatly while loading a rifle.

“Kill as many as we can and we'll use the cars to lead the rest of the farm” Andrea said.

This plan sounded ridiculous. Daryl scoffed “Are you serious?”

“This is my farm...I'll die here” Hershel said walking down to the grass.

“All right. It’s a good a night as any” Daryl said a little sarcastically as he followed after Hershel.

 

“Stay with Hershel” Daryl called to me before he took off towards his bike.

Glenn and Maggie to the Prius, and T-dog and Andrea to the pick-up.

I ran back inside, slipped my bow over my shoulder, slung my backpack onto one shoulder and grabbed Daryl's bag. I rushed outside and placed both bags at the foot of the porch stairs, so I could grab them on the way out of here.

I stood near Hershel with my rifle ready, I turned to the side, giving us a bit of range, as they seemed to be coming from everywhere.

Seconds later the sound of gunshots filled the air, as the others tried to kill as many as they could.

 

They were getting closer now, I raised my rifle. Hershel standing a few feet away from me. Shot after shot fired, walkers dropping. But as soon as you killed one, another two appeared. The farm was lost. We didn't have nearly enough ammo to take enough down to cause a dent in the herd. But Hershel was more determined than ever to stay and fight.

 

I heard Lori yell for us.

“Hershel, we have to go now!” I yelled. He ignored me, continuing to shoot. “Fuck sake” I muttered to myself before yelling for him again. “Hershel!”

“I'm not leaving” he called between shots.

It made me angry but I wasn't going to get torn to shreds for him. I yelled twice more to him. He didn't respond. I couldn't wait for him to change his mind, they were getting far too close. I started running back to the house, slinging the rifle over my shoulder, I grabbed the machete out and the two bags and ran towards Lori and Beth. I was too late to help Patricia. I managed to side step the group that were attacking the now dead Patricia.

 

The pick-up stopped in front of us. Andrea hopped out.

“Get in” she yelled, as she started shooting approaching walkers.

Lori and Beth jumped into the cab, I tossed the bags into the deck as I jumped over the rail. Within seconds the pick-up was being surrounded and walkers trying to reach for me. There were so many, and the number kept growing. Why the hell weren't we moving? I slashed left and right at the grabby undead hands. I looked up in time to see Andrea get taken down by a walker.

“Let's go!” I yelled “Now!” as I continued hacking away.

Finally, we started moving, I was breathing heavily, my arm tired. Walkers stumbling after us. I looked round at Lori and nodded, and I mouthed I was ok. She nodded back to me.

 

I sat back against the window watching the farm disappear into the distance as we drove down the road. I looked around to my left and right there were a few hands and arms. I quickly chucked them over. I took the rifle and bow off. I quickly looked down at my arms, blood splatter covering them both. No cuts or bite marks. I sat back sighing heavily. That was an insane night and now we were separated from our group. I had no idea where we were heading at this point. I was just happy to be alive.

 

I felt like I was shock. I wondered if anyone else made it out alive. I felt a pang of guilt for leaving Hershel and a bit of sadness for Andrea as well. I felt my eyes well up as I thought about one person in particular.

 

The truck jerked and the passenger door slammed shut. Jerking me from my thoughts. What the hell? I turned around to see T-dog and Lori arguing. She wanted to go back and he didn't. I agreed with Lori, I needed to know if they were still alive, if _he_ was.

 

The truck turned around and headed back. I breathed a small sigh of relief. We were on the highway now. We started to slow down as we came to the pile up of cars. We weaved through the, then came to a stop. I looked around and there was the rest of our group. I searched the faces till I saw him. I jumped out from the back, he hadn't noticed me yet. Lori was hugging Carl and Rick tightly. Daryl looked round and saw me, his face blank, then a small smirk. Carol hugged me tightly, then we walked to stand next to Daryl. He squeezed my hip and pulled me a little closer.

“You ain't leaving my sight” he growled in my ear. I smiled.

“I grabbed your bag on the way out” I said. He looked at me surprised and a little confused. “I grabbed mine too” I said shrugging. “Had a feeling today, so I grabbed yours too.” He squeezed my hip tighter and slightly nodding at me. I was pretty sure no one had noticed the quiet exchange between Daryl and me.

“Where's the rest of us?” Daryl asked.

“We're the only ones who made it so far” Rick replied.

“Shane?” Lori asked looking to Rick. Rick looked to the ground.

“Andrea?” Glenn asked.

“She saved me, then I lost her” Carol said moving closer to Daryl.

“I saw her go down” I said.

“Patricia?” Hershel asked.

“They got her too. They took her right in front of me. I was... I was holding on to her daddy” Beth said between sobs and clutching at her father. “She just...What about Jimmy? Did you see Jimmy?” she asked to Rick.

“He was in the RV. It got over run,” Rick said gravely.

“You definitely saw Andrea?” Carol asked.

“There were walkers everywhere” Lori said flatly.

“I only saw her fall to the ground with a walker, then a mob of them surrounded the pick-up and I had dozens of them trying to grab me from the bed of the truck.” I said.

“I'm gonna go back” Daryl said standing straight up and made movement towards his bike.

“No” Rick said firmly.

“We can't just leave her” Daryl said starting to sound annoyed.

“We don't even know if she's there” Lori said trying to reason.

“She isn't there. She somewhere else or she's dead. There's no way to find her.” Rick said a bit coldly.

“So we're not even gonna go look for her?” Glenn said shocked.

“We gotta keep moving...There have been walkers crawling all over here” Rick said

“I say we head east” T-dog said.

“Stay off the main roads...The bigger the road” Daryl grabbed his crossbow off his bike, “more assholes like this one. I got him.” He said stepping forward, crossbow raised, seconds later the walker dropped to the road, a bolt impaled on its head. Daryl quickly walked forward retrieving the bolt and wiping it on the shirt of the walker.

 

“Get what fuel we can from the pick-up and then we'll head out” Rick ordered. T-dog and Rick started to siphon the fuel. I reached over the bed of the truck, grabbing the bags, the rifle and the bow. I walked over to Daryl's bike and placed his bag next to his bike. Carol was sticking close to his bike. I could feel her eyeing me. I suspected she only felt safe with him now, more so after he saved her earlier last night. But there was something else in her eyes, like she was staking her claim on him, like I was in her way. So, for now I ignored the look and walked over to the rest of the group.

This wasn't the time to fight over Daryl, I thought to myself.

 

Rick had just placed the last of the fuel into each of the vehicles.

“Let's move” he ordered.

As everyone started to move, I realised I didn't have a vehicle.

“Is there a spare space for me?” I asked. I could feel Daryl's eyes on me. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Carol move closer to Daryl. Rick noticed this too, then he looked back at me. Something had undoubtedly changed him tonight. He looked at me with pity, sadness and something else I couldn't quite determine. He stood silent. I was nervous now, was this the hint for me to part ways? I was just about to say something when Lori spoke up.

“You can ride with us” Lori said stepping forward. I looked to Rick, he forced a smile and nodded. “It'll be tight but we will make it work.” she said smiling back at me.

“Ok...I'll ride in the boot. No need to cramp everyone” I said quietly.

“Ok its settled, let's move.” Hershel said.

I loaded my bag, rifle and bow into the Cherokee. Another bag got tossed next to mine, startling me. I turned to see Daryl, he looked pissed.

“Didn't I say ya weren't leavin' my sight” he growled quietly at me.

“Yes, I heard that.”

He cut me off, “Get on the bike before I have ta drag ya there” he threatened.

I glanced over to his bike, Carol was sitting on the bike, waiting for Daryl. “She ain't gonna give up her seat. She's feeling safer with you. She needs you right now. It's fine Daryl.” I said.

He narrowed his eyes at me, huffed then walked briskly back to his bike. He was fuming, I could feel it from here. I almost rolled my eyes, when I saw Carol smirk and wrapping her arms around Daryl. I saw him stiffen, then started the bike with a roar.

I jumped into the boot, shutting the door behind me. Rick looked in the rear-view mirror at me. I grabbed both bags and placed them behind me, leaning into them. Ignoring the looks Rick was giving me.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Keep those review coming!


	14. Revelations

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for the comment last chapter. Always makes my day. So feel free to leave more!!  
> Alot of talking again this chapter, so bear with me  
> Enjoy!

“Damn it!” Rick barked, hitting the steering wheel. Startling me, as I sat awkwardly in the boot. It had been somewhat quiet since we left the highway. No one was really in the mood to talk.

“Shit” he growled.

“What's wrong?” T-dog asked.

“We've been riding red for the past hour” he stated. He honked the horn, signalling everyone to stop.

“You out?” Daryl asked, walking towards Rick.

“Running on fumes” Rick replied.

 

Everyone started getting out of the vehicles. I grabbed my bow and joined the group. Daryl avoided my gaze.

“We can't stay here” Maggie said.

“We can't all fit in one car” Glenn added.

“We'll have to make a run for some gas in the morning” Rick determined.

“Spend the night here?” Carol said panicked.

“I'm freezing” Carl whined, Rick walked over and placed his jacket round his son.

“We'll build a fire, yeah?” Lori said clutching Carl.

Daryl grabbed his crossbow off his bike, “You go out looking fer' firewood, stay close. Only got so many arrows” as he loaded a bolt. “How you doin' on ammo?”

“Not enough.” Rick said frustrated.

“We can't just sit here with our asses hanging out” Maggie said clutching her rifle.

“Watch your mouth” Hershel scolded. “Everyone stop panicking and listen to Rick.”

“All right, we'll set up a perimeter. In the morning, we'll find gas and some supplies.” Rick directed.

“Glenn and I can go make a run now, try scrounge up some gas.” Maggie offered.

Rick cut her off, “No, we stay together. God forbid something happens and people get stranded without a car.”

“Rick, we're stranded now.” Glenn piped up.

Rick tried to reason, “I know it looks bad, we've all been through hell and worse, but at least we found each other. I wasn't sure, I really wasn’t but we did. We've together. We keep it that way...We'll find shelter somewhere. There's gotta be a place” he said running his hand through his hair.

“Rick, look around” Glenn said, “There's walkers everywhere. They're migrating or something.”

“There's gotta be a place, not just where we hole up, but that we fortify, hunker down, pull ourselves together, build a life for each other.” Rick's voice raising. He looked almost desperate. “I know it’s out there. We just have to find it.”

“Even if we do find a place and we think it's safe, we can never be sure. We fooled ourselves into thinking the farm was safe.” Maggie said bluntly.

“We won't make that mistake again.” Hershel said.

 

This argument was going nowhere, it was just going around in circles. Rick's new approach with the group was beginning to become clearer and clearer. Something had definitely happened and I guessed it had to do with Shane.

 

I tuned back in to hear Rick blurt out, “We're all infected.”

We all stood there stunned. Had we heard him right?

“What?” Daryl asked surprised. Rick looked to the ground.

“At the CDC, Jenner told me. Whatever it is, we all carry it.” He said sounding distracted.

“And you never said anything?” Carol said stepping forward.

“Would it have made a difference?” Rick challenged.

“You knew this whole time.” Glenn said in shock.

“How could I have known for sure? You saw how crazy that...”

Carol cut Rick off, “That is not your call” she protested.

“Ok, when I found out about the walkers in the barn, I told, for the good of the everyone.” Glenn challenged.

“Well, I thought it best that people didn't know.” Rick growled, before walking off, Lori following after him.

 

I started walking over to the area we were staying tonight, then veered off towards the trees to gather firewood. Someone roughly grabbed my arm,

“Where the hell are ya goin'?” Daryl growled at me.

“To get firewood.” I said flatly.

He let go of my arm. I didn't wander far as I gathered firewood, I was aware Daryl was about ten feet behind me, following me which ever way I went. I dropped the wood by the fire, as did Daryl and I sat down. It had been a long day and I was exhausted. Daryl put a few more bits of wood on to the fire and sat next to me. Carol had been standing and took her place on the other side of Daryl. On the inside I was laughing, if the situation weren't so dire it would have been out loud. I was almost waiting for her to tell me to back off and stay away from her man.

 

T-dog was on watch standing on one of the stone walls. Glenn, Maggie, Beth and Hershel were huddled up together and Carl was sitting in front of Lori. Rick stood at the front, all authoritative, pacing back and forth.

 

Daryl found my hand on the grass and squeezed it, silently asking if I was ok. I squeezed it back. I'm not sure if Carol saw but she decided this was the time to get Daryl's attention.

“We're not safe with him, keeping something like that from us” she whispered leaning closer to him. “Why do you need him?” she glanced at Rick, “He's just gonna pull you down”

“Nah. Rick's done all right by me.” Daryl said to her.

“You're his henchman and I'm a burden. You deserve better” she said frowning.

“What do you want?” he said harshly.

“A man of honour” she said looking up to him.

“Rick has honour” he said chucking another log on the fire.

I tuned out as they began to debate again, my thoughts going back to the madness that happened. There were so many, I'd never seen so many clustered together, except for in Atlanta.

 

My head snapped up when I heard a crackle from the woods.

“What was that?” Beth said frightened, clutching Hershel.

“Could be anything. Could be a raccoon or a possum.” Daryl said standing.

“Walker?” Glenn said gripping his shotgun.

“We need to leave. I mean what are waiting for?” Carol said standing next to Daryl, looking to him for an answer.

“Which way?” Glenn said looking round nervously.

I pushed myself up off the ground, grabbing my bow. I took a few steps back and looked towards the tree line, searching the darkness.

“It came from over there” Maggie said.

“Back the way we came?” Beth said scared.

Yeah” Maggie agreed.

“The last thing we need is for everyone to be running off in the dark” Rick said angrily, “We don't have the vehicles. No one’s travelling on foot.”

I turned back around, a little shocked by Rick's outburst.

“Don't panic” Hershel said trying to reason with everyone else.

“I'm not...I'm not sitting here, waiting for another herd to blow through. We need to move, now” Maggie said defensively.

Rick's face hardened, “No one is going anywhere.”

“Do something!” Carol pleaded to Rick.

“I am doing something!” Rick barked, “I'm keeping this group together, alive. I've been doing that all along, no matter what. I didn't ask for this. I killed my best friend for you people.” Everyone froze. “You saw what he was like, how he pushed me, how he compromised us, how he threatened us.” Rick looked straight to me, “He was the one who attacked you, tried to rape you.”

At first I thought I had heard him wrong. My breath caught in my throat, my mind racing. I felt all eyes on me but mine were fixed on the fire in front of me. I backed myself up against the wall behind me, my body sliding to the ground, I hugged my knees tighter, staring into the fire. Unaware of everyone around me. Someone tried to get my attention but my mind was shutting down. Images of the attack coming forth, it was making more sense, it was like a veil had been lifted. I saw it more clearly now. I could see him on top of me, taking what wasn't his. His voice made sense, I could hear him mocking me now. I shook my head, snapping me back to reality.

 

“Maybe you people are better off without me. Go ahead. I say there's a place for us, but maybe it’s just another pipe dream. Maybe I'm fooling myself again. Why don't you...Why don't you go and find out yourself? Send me a postcard.” Rick spat, “Go on, there's the door...You can do better? Let's see how far you get...No takers? Fine. But get one thing straight, you're staying, this isn't a democracy anymore.” he said angrily, looking round at everyone.

The group stood there shocked.

 

It was silent for about half an hour. I had hardly moved from my spot. I avoided everyone's looks towards me. They all took turns watching me. Pity on their faces, I didn't know how long I could stand those looks, it was like I had been attacked all over again. Daryl's eyes hardly ever stopped eyeing me. I couldn't bear to look at any of them.

 

Eventually one by one they started to turn in for the night. I took this opportunity to go speak to Rick alone. I stood and Daryl immediately followed suit, grabbing my arm when I started walking.

“I need to know” I said quietly to him, his grip loosened and he sighed. He seemed to conflicted with letting me go.

 

I walked round him and over to Rick, he was standing at one of the gaps in broken walls. His face softened when he saw me approach.

“How did you know?” I asked quietly.

He sighed heavily, “I didn't mean to blurt it out the way I did. I'm sorry” he said looking back out to the tree line. “He figured Randall was a good scapegoat. And if he'd had his way you would have had the same fate as him. I figured it out when he let slip 'At least she had no memory of it, knocked her head hard enough for that.' It wasn't hard to figure out the rest. I'm sorry we were all blind to it, that I was blind to it” he said finally looking at me.

I was still in a bit of shock, “I knew he despised me, for what reason I don't know but I never thought...” I trailed off.

“I know...I was blinded by my friendship with him. I didn't see it” he said looking back out to the trees.

We stood in silence for a while before I spoke again.

“I'll take over watch, go get some sleep” I said to Rick, “I'll wake you if I need you. I won't be able to sleep tonight.” I said.

“Are you sure?” he asked. I nodded. I needed this time alone, to try clear my head. Try.

He eyed me for a few seconds before nodding and handing me his rifle and heading back to the fire. I hoisted myself up on the wall and scanned the woods. It was quiet.

 

I looked back to the group. Rick had settled in next to Carl and Lori. T-dog was on the opposite wall keeping watch. I searched the group for him, he sat with his back up against a wall, head rested against it. He wasn't asleep, he was so tense, I could see it from where I was. Carol lay next to him, probably hoping he would seek her for warmth...maybe he would. I could still hear Shane's voice in my head, mocking me, making me doubt everything. At this thought I turned back towards the trees. I needed this break from the being stared at. I hated being the centre of attention, whether it was good or bad.

I set my eyes towards the tree-line. Still no movement, other than the wind.

 

I paced up and down the wall, holding the rifle close. I was thankful it was quiet. I then heard movement behind me and quickly spun around, rifle aimed, I dropped the rifle when I saw Daryl making his way over to me.

“Shouldn't be sneaking up on people like that” I said narrowing my eyes.

“Sorry” he mumbled as he hoisted himself up next to me. I knew he was checking up on me and that he wanted to ask how I was but wouldn't mention it. So, I would.

“I'm fine Daryl.” He looked at me from the corner of his eyes and nodded.

“Did ya get yer' answers?” he asked looking out to the trees.

I sighed, “I think so...Just wish Rick hadn't blurted it out the way he did, now everyone looks at me with pity and sadness, even you...I now understand why Rick was looking at me the way he was today. He was eyeing me the whole way in the truck...almost thought I was on my own again” I sighed, closing my eyes.

“Yer' not” he said simply. I opened my eyes to look over at him, he held my gaze, I felt the blush creep on to my cheeks. I dropped my face embarrassed. I could feel the smirk coming off him. He was again doing this on purpose.

“Go get some sleep, I'll stand watch” he drawled in his thick accent.

“Have you slept? Because I don't know if I can sleep” I said.

“A little, now go” he said growling the last part. I knew better to argue and I was exhausted. I nodded, I slung the rifle over my shoulder and started to lower myself down off the wall. I was very aware he was watching my every move till I was on the ground.

“Night” I whispered, I heard him grunt in response. I walked back to the fire, sat against one of the walls, laying the rifle next to me. I crossed my legs and let my eyes close.

 

_I groggily opened my eyes, it was early morning, a slight dampness in the air. I rubbed the sleep out of my eyes, blinking a few times. I looked around, the fire was out, no embers visible. As I scanned around I now noticed the area was empty. I was confused, then my mind started running. They were gone, they left me. Panic started to set in. I jumped up quickly, grabbing my bow. I didn't see any signs of walkers. I felt the tears well up, I pushed them back and made my way to where we had parked the vehicles the night before. I set off in a jog, looking left and right to the surrounding woods as I made my way there, in case of a looming threat. I set off in a jog. My worst fears were being realised when I saw the vehicles were gone. I was alone. I saw my bag on the far side of the road. I walked over to it, there was a note pinned to the top with a single word “sorry”. I fell to my knees in shock, a hand reached for my shoulder..._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for leaving you on a bit of a cliffhanger.  
> So we finally found out who attacked Camille at the stables and whats up with Carol?
> 
> You guys know what to do....Review...Review...Review.... May inspire me to update sooner.....  
> Yes thats a blatant bribe lol!!!


	15. Patrol

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this chapter is a bit of a filler. But its to help set up the next few chapters I have lined up.  
> Thanks for the reviews again! Yes Debbief722 you were right. Sorry for the people who loved Shane. For me he had that potential.  
> And now on to the chapter...since I was so mean and left it on a cliff hanger.  
> Enjoy!!

I jerked awake, a hand still gripping my shoulder. It was still dark, the fire still burning low, everyone still here and asleep.

“You alright?” a familiar southern voice asked beside me.

“Yeah bad dream” I replied, re-checking that everyone was still there.

“Go back ta sleep” he whispered to me, squeezing my shoulder. I pulled my knees up to my chest and rested my head against his shoulder. He dropped his hand and I fell back asleep again.

 

The next morning everyone was on edge waiting for Rick's orders.

“Alright Rick what's the plan?” Lori asked.

Rick stood at the head of the group, hands on his hips looking serious, “Ok Daryl, Glenn and Maggie will take the car and scavenge for some gas and supplies. The rest of us will stay here. T-dog, Camille and I will be on watch, everyone else is to stay here at the camp, no wandering off” he said sternly.

 

Maggie gave her father and sister a big hug before grabbing Glenn's hand. Daryl looked over at me and held my gaze for a few seconds before walking off towards the car.

 

“Let's go” he drawled towards Glenn and Maggie. They took off quickly towards the car.

“I'm hungry” Carl whined to his mother.

“I know baby” she said sympathetically to him.

I walked over to my bag and fished round for the small packet of crackers. I handed a couple to Lori. She smiled warmly at me, Carl grinned. I handed one each out to the rest of the group and one for myself and put the rest back in my bag and made my way over to the wall facing the woods. It wasn't much but it was something.

 

I stood on the wall slowly pacing, bolt in one hand, bow in the other. Looking out to the woods beyond the stream. It was somewhat quiet out and that was unnerving. Rick paced below, everyone else sat round the now dead fire, twitchy.

 

I heard the sounds of branches being broken. Everyone below froze.

I scanned the woods to my left, I could see movement through the trees. Rick held his rifle tightly and then looked to me. I signalled towards the woods and gestured for him to wait. I lowered myself to the ground slowly and quietly. Rick put his finger to his lips advising the group to be quiet. I looked to T-dog and nodded to him, he understood me and kept watch, rifle at the ready.

Rick followed close beside me as we scanned the woods. We both spotted movement further ahead, the recognisable sound of shuffling feet. A walker appeared from behind the tree. I signalled to Rick to halt, I lined up the shot and took the walker down, the bolt piercing the rotting skull. Another two walkers appearing behind it. They both looked down at the fallen corpse, then started shuffling forward, the lead walker noticed us and started growling and moaning, riling up the one behind it. I quickly grabbed another bolt this time the walker stumbled and the bolt grazed past him and into the walker behind him, plunging into his shoulder, only angering the creature. I took a third shot hitting it right between the eyes, causing the lead walker to fall back, taking the other walker down, pinning the agitated corpse. Rick quickly walked over and plunged his knife into its skull. He grabbed my bolts, wiping them, and handing them back to me. 

We walked a few feet in the direction the walkers had come from. Standing in silence, listening for any more strays.  The woods were quiet again. Rick walked ahead of me as we made our way back. I kept my eyes and ears open. There only seemed to be those three.

 

Everyone looked up to us as we made our way inside the crumbling walls.

“How many?” Hershel asked.

“Three. No sign of any more.” I replied.

“As soon as Glenn, Maggie and Daryl are back, we're gone” Rick said his face looking hard. But I had to agree with him.

“Are we safe?” Beth asked, clutching at her father.

“For now” Rick sighed, “T-dog and I will take watch, Camille I need you to do a perimeter check.” I nodded at Rick in acknowledgement.

“What? Alone?” Carol said out-raged.

“I'll be fine. I'll be quieter on my own and I won't be far.” I said confidentially. Both Lori and Carol gave me worried looks. I was rolling my eyes in my head. I turned and walked back towards the edge of the woods.

 

I walked the perimeter twice, not finding any signs of life, not even animal tracks. I looked back to the camp-site, I could only see Rick from this position, his eyes fixed towards the woods. He caught my eye and pointed ahead of me on the other side of the clearing. I nodded and headed towards the area he was pointing at. I slowed my pace, stealthily taking each step. I looked for movement and tried to listen. I heard rustling coming from the bushes ahead. I gingerly took several steps forward and could see over the bush, a lone walker was crouched down devouring an animal. I couldn't make out what kind as it was torn to shreds. It hadn't noticed or smelt me yet. I took another glance round making sure this was the only walker and I wasn't about to be snuck up on. It was clear.

I stepped on a bunch of twigs, snapping them, alerting the walker. I cursed internally. It groggily turned its head moaning, when it saw me it stood up, arms stretched out, growling, teeth bared, blood and insides falling from its rotting mouth. I swiftly released the bolt, plunging it into the skull. The carcass dropping to the ground with a thud. I grabbed another bolt and promptly scanned my surroundings before approaching to grab the bolt out of its skull. I wiped the thick, almost black blood on the walker’s shirt and snapping it back into the clip on my bow.

 

I had been patrolling for just over an hour and only found the one walker, so I decided to check in with Rick, update him on the situation. I halted when I heard heavy footsteps, I turned around and saw Daryl storming towards me, looking extremely pissed off.

Great.

“Ya went off on ya own?” he spat at me.

“Rick asked me to patrol. It’s been quiet, only had to take out one walker. I'm fine” I sighed. “Did you find gas?” I asked trying to change the subject.

“Yeah. We gotta go. Found a house further up the road. We're goin' to hold up there for at least tonight.” He turned and started walking back then stopped.

“C'mon, let's go” he growled.

 

I followed closely behind him as he led the way back to the make-shift camp, which was now deserted, the fire doused and my bag gone too. They must have stowed it in one of the vehicles.

 

The group stood around the vehicles and looked over our way when they saw us approach. Rick looked relieved to see me.

“I lost sight of you after you took that walker down.” Rick said, avoiding the glare Daryl was giving him.

“I stuck around and scouted to make sure it was just the one and it was.” I said to him, he nodded at me.

“We should get moving” Rick said looking to the rest of the group. “Daryl, you take point and lead the way.” Daryl nodded. I started to walk towards the Cherokee when Rick stopped me.

“You're riding with Daryl” he simply said. I could see Carol scowling behind Rick. “I need you to help secure the area when we get there.”

I nodded and started walking towards Daryl's bike.

I wasn't sure how thrilled he was going to be about this. He practically reprimanded me in the woods just a few minutes’ prior.

“Rick said I'm riding with you” I hesitantly said to his back. He grunted something inaudible and swung his leg over the bike. I slung my bow over my shoulder and hopped on behind Daryl. I awkwardly put my hands on his waist, he stiffened under the touch. I hesitated and thought about moving away but there wasn't anywhere else to hold on to. Daryl grabbed both of my hands and pulled them closer, pulling my body along with them. I squeaked in surprise. I could feel the blush on my face. I was right up against him, I was glad he couldn't see my face right now.

“Hold on tight” he said gruffly as he started up the bike. It roared to life beneath us. Soon we were speeding away, I gripped his shirt tighter as he kicked it up a gear. I was sure he was smirking. I buried my face into his back avoiding the cold air whipping past.

 

We drove for about an hour when I felt us slowing down, I peeked over his shoulder, the road was clear, no walkers no vehicles, trees on either side. The trees cleared up on the left and Daryl pointed to several small two-story houses. We pulled up in front of the first one. I released my grip on Daryl's shirt and hopped off. The rest of the group pulled up.

 

“This one do?” Daryl asked to Rick.

“Yeah. We'll clear it first then bring everyone else in. Daryl and I will clear inside, Camille take a sweep of the perimeter” Rick said to us both. Daryl froze, glaring at Rick.

“She ain't goin' on 'er own.” Daryl grumbled. I was about to speak up when Glenn spoke up.

“I'll go with her.” I smiled to Glenn, even though I would have been fine.

“It’s settled, let's move.” Rick said moving towards the house.

 

Glenn and I walked slowly around the perimeter.

“He worries because he cares” Glenn said beside me.

“No, he worried because he doesn't trust me” I said keeping my eyes forward.

Glenn snorted. “You're wrong”

“Shut it Glenn” I growled.

Glenn remained quiet beside me we slowly swept the perimeter. I didn't want to admit having any feelings towards him. The apocalypse was no place for a relationship only to have it ripped from your grasp.

Glenn would keep glancing at me, a sneaky smile on her face. As much as I envied what Glenn and Maggie had, I wasn't sure if it’s what I wanted.

“Do you find it hard to love Maggie through this messy world?” I asked out loud. Glenn stopped beside me.

“Yes and no. I worry constantly about her but the thought of not having her in my life...I wouldn't trade that for anything in the world” he smiled.

We continued to search the perimeter in silence and finally came around to the front of the house, Rick and Daryl standing out front.

“Clear?” Rick asked. Glenn and I both nodded.

“We'll park the cars facing out to the road in case we need to make a quick getaway. Let's get everyone inside” Rick ordered.

Soon everyone was inside the house, sitting in a room, everyone relatively exhausted.

“Should we go scavenge the other house for supplies before it gets dark?” I asked. I was instantly met by steely eyes from Rick. “Two or three of us go, grab what we can and come back. I think it’s worth the look.” I said, not an ounce of doubt in my voice. I could see him thinking it over.

“I'll go with her” a southern voice spoke; one I wasn't expecting to hear. Rick stayed silent for a moment before nodding to Daryl. I saw Glenn smirking at me from the corner of my eye.

I grabbed my bow and machete and headed for the front door. I looked out the window beside the door to make sure it was clear. No signs of biters. I heard two sets of boots coming up behind me.

“It’s clear” I said.

“Any sign of trouble, get out” Rick said. I nodded continuing to look outside.

 

Daryl stayed silent beside me as we walked to the first house, shooting glances my way every few minutes. We approached the first house slowly, opening the front door, the place looked untouched. We quickly scanned each room for walkers. When it was clear we split up and started searching for supplies. I found a laundry basket filled with washing I emptied it out went to the bathroom, opening the medicine cabinet, finding some much-needed meds and other supplies. I cleaned it out, dumping them into the basket. I went next door to the bedroom, only coming across a sleeping bag in the closet. In the hallway closet I found two more sleeping bags. The last room I had to check looked to be a teenage boys room. It was messy but probably only because it was a teenager’s room. I looked around for anything useful but only came across a hoody. I put them in the basket, dropped the sleeping bags down the stairs and made my way down. I piled my finds at the front door and went in search of Daryl. He had loaded up a box with canned goods and some dried stuff. I grabbed the box and put it next to the door and waited for Daryl to return.

“Find much?” he asked, carrying a few more items.

“Few sleeping bags, some meds. I see there was some food.” I replied.

“Let's get this back, too much ta carry an' go loot the other house” he said pointing at the boxes.

“I'll carry as much as I can, so your hands are free with the crossbow.” he nodded and we found some bags to load the stuff into.

 

Daryl opened the front door, crossbow ready, looking left and right as he moved forward. He motioned for me to follow. Thankfully it wasn't far to walk, all of what I was carrying was heavy.

 

Rick took the box from me and I was grateful. My arms were aching. I made my way inside, dropping my bow and machete on the couch. I took the pack off. Lori came over surprised at the amount of stuff we bought back.

“Did he make you carry it all?” she asked appalled. I snorted.

“No. Someone had to have their hands free just in case.” She smiled and I handed her the two sleeping bags I'd found. She thanked me and walked back over to Carol and Carl.

 

Dinner time was quiet. We opened a few cans and heated the contents, then divided it up between us all. Rick insisted we ration the food, which I agreed with, as hungry as I was. Daryl and Glenn were on watch and had been since we got back this afternoon. I saw Carol slip out with a bowl of food. I presumed it was for Daryl. Not long after everyone started turning in for the night. All the bedrooms were taken so I went back to the couch. I shrugged my dirty hoody off and grabbed one of the clean ones I had looted today. I lay the bow next to my bag and sat down on the couch, my head resting on the back of it. Soon I felt myself drift off to sleep.

 

I woke startled when I felt the couch shift beside me. My eyes shot open to see Daryl lounging next to me.

“You scared the crap out of me Dixon” I said sleepily.

“Sorry” he mumbled.

“Is it my turn for watch?” I asked, not really wanting to go outside.

“Nope, Rick just took over for me” he said chucking a blanket at me. I gratefully accepted it and wrapped myself up in it, leaning back into the couch. I felt him shift beside me as he made himself comfortable, a sudden weight on my lap.

“That better not be your feet Dixon” I mumbled. I heard him chuckle from my lap before I settled in to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So Carol is still glaring at Camille...she didn't choose (I did, LOL!!) to kick Carol off the bike lol.  
> You guys know what to do....Review! Its such a buzz when someone comments!


	16. Encounter

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Things are starting to get good....a little bit tense too. So bare with me.  
> As always....Enjoy!!!!!

Next morning we stood around the dining table looking over a map of the area. Rick, Maggie, Hershel and Daryl all spoke up pointing out various locations on the map, as they knew the area better than the rest of us. But where was safe? Going house to house can't be a good plan.

 

“We should head east” T-dog said only to be cut off by Rick. He had a short fuse today.

“We need to find somewhere to fortify, especially with winter on the way” he said concentrating on the map.

“So, what's the next move? This house will only be safe until a herd rolls through.” Rick looked over at me looking pissed off, obviously me having an opinion at the present time wasn't going over well with our leader. I sighed knowing several others from the group were thinking the same thing. In my head I was rattling off places to consider. We weren't safe here. Plain and simple.

 

Rick finally made a decision, “Daryl, Glenn and Maggie will go clear out the last house for supplies, the rest of us will pack up and be ready to leave when they get back. T-dog you will be on watch, keep track of everyone coming and going.” Everyone nodded at their orders and went on their way.

 

Rick stopped me, grabbing my arm and pulling me aside away from the others.

“If you're going to stay part of the group, you're going to have to follow my lead, not question everything I say” he spat angrily at me. I was a little taken back by his attitude with me, he almost had a hint of Shane in his voice, it scared me a little.

“I wasn't trying to question your leadership, it was a simple fact. This house isn't safe”

“Don't you think I know that” he said angrily.

“If me having an opinion is a problem, I'll leave!” I huffed.

“Rick?!” Lori angrily said, startling both of us. He glared at her, then stormed off. She looked and me and sighed.

“I'm sorry about Rick, he's very stressed. Don't leave, you're part of the group” she said squeezing my hand.

 

We packed everything into the vehicles. I stayed out of Rick's way and didn't even look his way. I could still feel the tension from earlier. Killing Shane had hardened him in ways that made me question his leadership abilities. I absolutely wasn't going to be riding with him.

Thankfully soon the others returned, with few boxes and loaded them into the vehicles.

“Let's move” Rick barked to the group. He glared my way again and my eyes dropped to the ground.

“C'mon yer' riding with me” a familiar voice said from beside me. “What'd Rick say to ya earlier?” he asked as we walked over to his bike. I could feel his gaze on me as I hesitated to answer.

“He was pissed because I had an opinion, probably didn't help when he yelled, I yelled back. I ain't nobody's bitch! So its best if we stay out of each other’s way” I sighed angrily. Daryl stayed silent as he got on to the bike, locking his crossbow in place. I slung my bow over my shoulder and climbed on behind Daryl and loosely put my hands on his waist. He didn't stiffen this time. The bike coming to life with a roar.

 

We had been riding for about two hours, after slowly making our way through a pile of vehicles, which had slowed us down quite a bit. The bike was easy to manoeuvre through the maze, whereas the others were harder.

 

It was now mid-afternoon when he heard a honk from behind us, signalling us to stop.

“Stay 'ere and keep watch” Daryl said to me before jogging back to the other vehicles. I took my bow off from my shoulder and grabbed a bolt ready. It was reasonably quiet around us; the remainder of the group were discussing what to do next. I scanned the woods either side of me, looking for movement. A sudden snap from the woods, silenced everyone. I saw the movement from up ahead. I walked forward and it came stumbling out from behind a tree. Growling as it noticed us.

“I got it” I called back to the group. I pulled the string back and released. I watched as the walker dropped to the ground. I grabbed another bolt out as I jogged over to retrieve the one impaled in the walker. I smiled to myself as I saw it hit it square in its right eye. Blackened blood oozed as I pulled the bolt out, wiping it on the walker’s shirt, then clipping in back onto the bow.

Someone whistled to me, indicating we were moving again. Everyone started getting into their vehicles. I heard the bike start, so I picked up the pace, shouldering the bow and climbing on behind Daryl.

 

We rode about twenty minutes before we came across a lone house set back off the road. Brick walls surrounding the front of the property and a large iron gate giving a little protection. Rick ordered Daryl, T-dog and himself to clear it, sending me a glare when I was about to offer.

 

I stood watch with Maggie and Glenn while we waited for the others to return. They always stayed in contact with each other I noticed. It made me smile.

“What ya smiling at?” Maggie asked.

“Just you two...It’s nice to see some happiness in this world.”

She blushed, Glenn gripped her hand tighter smiling and continuing to look out around us.

“I'm sure you could have that too” she said raising an eyebrow.

I scoffed. “No I don't think that's about to happen.”

She was the one now to scoff at me, shaking her head, like she knew something I didn't.

“Don't even try, I tried to tell her that yesterday, and she wouldn't listen to me then” Glenn piped up beside Maggie, they both laughed.

“I don't know what you think you see but...” I trailed off, shaking my head at them.

 

A few minutes later they emerged from the house, signalling it was clear. We moved the vehicles closer and bought the essential items inside for the night This house was a lot bigger and had quite a few bedrooms. I may even get to sleep on a bed tonight. Would sure beat the floor.

 

I stood outside on watch, alone. Rick had volunteered me for watch duty tonight. Not that I minded, if it meant staying out of his line of fire, I was happy to do it.

It was early evening and I could feel the cold settling in. I hugged myself tighter as I looked out into the night. I could her the low murmurs from everyone inside, must be dinner time I thought to myself.

 

Time ticked by slowly as I paced up the property. I had no idea how long I was on watch tonight, Rick didn't exactly say. I felt like I was the naughty child and I was on a time-out. It was fucking ridiculous. As much as it pissed me off, I was biting my tongue, in order to not to anger him further. I didn't care to go back out on my own again. When I said, well yelled, at Rick I'd leave, it was only because I was angry.

 

I made my way back and took a seat on the porch steps. The moon barely visible tonight, giving off very little light, my eyes well-adjusted to the darkness now.

I heard the door open behind me and quickly turned around to see Maggie.

“Sorry didn't mean to scare ya” she said with a smile and held out a plate. “Got ya some dinner” she added. I smiled and gratefully took it. Maggie sat next to me as I ate. It was quiet inside now.

“Has everyone gone to bed?” I asked between mouthfuls of food. She nodded. “Shouldn't you be all cosy with Glenn? I asked. She giggled and I'm sure I saw her blush.

“Yeah soon. Thought I would check on ya before I went to bed... Rick's been pretty harsh towards ya the last day or so” she said sounding concerned.

“Yeah” I sighed. “I questioned his leadership apparently.”

“Don't let him get to ya. He'll get over it in a few days” she said with a small smile.

“Let's hope. You should head to bed before Glenn starts to panic” I said nudging her shoulder, “Thanks for the dinner too.”

“You're welcome”, she stood up, brushing off her jeans and grabbing my empty plate. “Oh, there's a free bedroom, first door on the left for ya when T-dog comes out to take over.”

“That will be great, a proper bed.” I said grinning. She smirked back at me before heading back inside.

 

A while later T-dog came out to relieve me of watch duty. We talked for a few minutes before he was pushing me towards the door, telling me to go get some sleep. I slowly made my way inside. I grabbed my bag, unclipped my gun and holster and shoved them into my bag. I crept quietly to the free bedroom. I opened the door quietly, placed my bag and bow on the ground, next to the door. I could barely make out the bed, so I inched slowly towards it and sat down sighing. I closed my eyes and took a few breaths. I froze when I felt movement behind me, I was about to reach for my pocket knife in my boot when a pair of strong arms caught me. One arm wrapped tightly round my throat, squeezing tighter and the other restrained one of arms, twisting it behind my back. I struggled against the person but they squeezed their arm tighter around my neck, slowly cutting off my airway and pulled harder on my restrained arm. I tried to pull at the arm around my neck, but it was hopeless.

“I thought I told ya I wasn't interested” Daryl snarled in my ear. I was shocked. I froze. What the hell did I do? I thought to myself. “Yer' pathetic throwin' yerself at me! Now. Get. The. Fuck. Out!” he hissed in my ear, saying each word with venom. His grip suddenly released as he pushed me forward, I landed with a thud on the ground, trying to catch my breath. I heard him snicker, I was speechless. In my mind I was screaming a million questions and profanities at him but I couldn't get the words out. I scrambled to my feet, grabbing my bow and bag and bolting for the door.

I was fighting to keep the tears back, I didn't understand why. I thought he was the one I was closest to. I guess he really had no trust in me to begin with, it was all in my head. My place in the group was slipping away from me. I didn't want to go but if I had lost Daryl's trust or friendship or whatever it was, I didn't think there was much of a choice now.

Several tears fell down my cheeks, I wasn't sure what to do now.

 

I went back out to the room I had slept in the other night. I grabbed my blanket and sat in the corner of the room, cowering like a small child for the rest of the night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What's Rick's problem? And why is Daryl all hostile all of a sudden?  
> Thanks for the review on the last chapter, they seriously make my day. So don't be afraid to comment!!!


	17. Alone

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bit of a short chapter but its to set things up for future chapters. So just bear with me.  
> Thanks to Debbief722 for commenting again! Don't be afraid to comment what ever your thought may be. Any comment make my day as do the kudos!  
> So enjoy!!!!

Next morning I woke to hear sounds coming from the kitchen, most likely someone making breakfast. I got up off the floor, stretching out the kinks and put on my hoody. I grabbed my bow and made my way quietly towards the front door, avoiding whoever was in the kitchen.

I had just closed the door, when T-dog gave me a look.

“Where you goin?” he asked.

“Hunting” I said flatly.

“Ya shouldn't be going out there alone” he said looking back to the door.

“I can handle myself...just need some time to myself, clear my head.” I said quietly, “I won't be gone long.”

“Be careful” he said before he nodded at me and I headed out the back towards the tree line, not looking back.

 

It was reasonably quiet in amongst the trees, the occasional scurry of an animal out of sight. I held my bow and a bolt loaded in the string, ready. I stalked through the trees slow and quiet, looking for any trails. So far, I was coming up empty though.

I paused hearing shuffling ahead of me. I scanned around me and spotted two walkers coming in my direction. Can't we just get one day without running into one of these bastards, I sighed to myself. I took a breath, releasing the bolt and easily took the first one down. The second one noticing his fallen comrade, bared its teeth and charged towards me. I barely had enough time to line up the shot, I dropped the bow behind me, kicked it in the chest, sending it on to its back. I quickly put a knee to its chest, its arms reaching out towards me and plunged the bolt through its skull. It grew limp beneath my knee and I withdrew the bolt, wiping off the blood on the grass. I stood and angrily put the heel of my boot through its skull for good measure and stress relief. I turned to pick up my bow and started to make my way back towards the property, coming across a few rabbits.

As I slunk back to the house, I made my way to the front. T-dog was still standing watch. He looked relieved to see I was back.

“Anyone notice?” I asked. He shook his head, “I bought breakfast” I said holding up the rabbits. He smiled, then it quickly disappeared as he looked me over.

“Looks like you ran into trouble?” he said raising an eyebrow.

I looked down at my hands, blackish blood splattered over my hands and arms, probably on my face too, I thought.

“Yeah two walkers, took them out, wasn't a problem I swear. I should go clean myself up before someone else sees.” I said handing the rabbits to him. I walked over to the water pump and grabbed the bucket beside it and started filling it with some water. I grabbed the bandanna from my back pocket and dipped it in the water. I scrubbed my face, then my hands and arms, rinsing the cloth and wringing it free of water.

Walking back over to T-dog, he looked me over again, “better” was all he said.

“Take those inside and get some rest. I'll take over for you.” I said to him. He smiled and patted me on the shoulder as he walked by back to the house with the rabbits.

I leant against the railing coming off the porch, my bow leaning against my legs.

 _“Where'd you get those?”_ I heard Rick say frustrated inside. I was mentally preparing myself for the ear bashing I was about to receive. I waited and waited but he never came out.

 

Finally, I heard the door behind me. I didn't turn around, I wasn't in the mood for dealing with Rick. My mind was telling to bolt but I stood my ground, not moving from my spot, maybe gripping my bow a little too tightly.

I was surprised when Maggie came up beside me with another plate of food. I instantly loosened my grip on the bow.

“Have you slept at all?” she asked concerned.

“Think I got a few hours” I said continuing to look forward. I saw her smirk out of the corner of my eye.

“Oh really...” she teased.

“I should have stayed on watch. Would have been a lot safer.” I grumbled.

“What do you mean?” she asked confused.

“Well when I went into what I thought was an empty room” I glared at her, she looked even more confused by my reaction, “It was dark. I sat on the bed. _Daryl_ caught me in a choke hold. Told me he wasn't interested, I was pathetic and told me to fuck off. So, I bolted.” I huffed.

She placed a hand on my shoulder. “I'm so sorry. Glenn and I were both sure he was into you. We thought you both just needed a push. I swear I didn't think he would act like that. I'm so sorry” she said and I knew she was sorry, they both had good intentions I think. She pulled me into a hug but I could feel myself putting up the walls.

 

 

Over the next couple of days, I avoided Daryl as much as I could. When he did catch sight of me, I could feel his gaze on me, as I walked in the opposite direction. This confused me to no end. I was doing what he wanted and staying away from him.

Rick was still pissed with me too, so I stayed away from him as well. The list of people distancing themselves from me was starting to grow. Some of that was my fault as I was starting to distance myself from the group, spending most of my time on watch or patrol or hunting. No one questioned me when I went hunting now, especially if I bought something back. If T-dog was on watch he would always tell me to be careful. I think he was waiting for me to just not return one day. Like I would disappear. I had certainly considered it but I was afraid to be on my own again. Someone would usually ask if I wanted to join them for dinner but I would never join them, I had to be on watch, or something to that effect if someone asked.

 

I think I was trying to mentally prepare myself for life on my own, when the group decided I was no longer needed. So, I kept my distance. When people did ask me questions, my answers were usually short. Only three people tried to talk to me still, Maggie, Glenn and T-dog.

 

 

Maggie and I were out on patrol, just near the perimeter at the gate.

“Are you leaving?” she asked stopping in front of me.

I stopped, almost walking into her.

“I...don't know...I'm not sure I belong anymore.” I said my eyes finding the ground fascinating at this very moment.

“You need to snap out of this. You are a part of the group. You gotta stay. Things will blow over with Rick and Daryl.” she said, the last part very quietly.

“If things stay hostile then I probably won't have a choice in the matter Maggie. Both Daryl and Rick have made it pretty clear. I don't want to be out there on my own but they might choose my fate for me.” I sighed. “I promise I won't leave.”

She hugged me tight, grinning. “Good. I'd miss ya if you were gone” she said.

I looked back out ahead of me. _“Unless I'm forced to”_ I thought to myself.

 

 

It was mid-afternoon and I was on watch alone now. We had been lucky at this house, only a few strays. The surrounding woods giving us a little protection. For how long we weren't sure though.

Glenn came out to take over for me. “You doin' ok?” he asked me. I shrugged my shoulders, “Just don't disappear on us” he said trying to smile. I tried to smile back.

“I'm gonna go hunt while it’s still light, won't go far. See if I can find anything for dinner” I said making my way towards the trees.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bit of an emo chapter this one lol sorry


	18. Over Analyse

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow! You guys are amazing! Loved the reviews! Was so blown away by how many I got last chapter, especially since it was so emo lol....I have a stupid grin on my face :oD  
> So because you guys were amazing with reviews I decided to update a bit sooner than I planned...lucky you!  
> So I've been looking forward to this chapter... And I hope you guys enjoy...  
> As always, I love to hear what you think about my spin on this

It was quiet as usual. I had my bow out, bolt loaded in the string, ready just in case, so I wandered looking for trails, moving further into the trees. I felt a small bit of relief being out here. No walkers, no people to distract me, just myself. It’s like I could breathe again. It was hard to match the freedom I felt when I was stalking through the woods on my own.

 

 

As I made my way through the trees I had a feeling I was being followed. And I had a feeling I knew who it was. I kept moving forward, hoping he would decide to turn back and leave me be. But I could feel him getting closer.

 

Ten minutes later he was still on my tail, silently following me. I tried several times to lose him but he's not easy to fool. I sighed defeated, I wanted to get this fight over and done with so I could go back to my solitude.

 

“Why you following me Dixon?” I said a little angrily. I heard him stop behind me. He probably thought I didn't know or was going to follow me till I caught him.

“Well?” I said turning to face him, a hard look on my face.

He sighed. “What's goin' on with you, yer' avoidin' me...Why?” he said with furrowed brows, running a hand through his hair. He seemed nervous.

I raised an eyebrow, “What you wanted” I said coldly, starting to walk the trail I had been following.

“T'hells that supposed ta mean?” he said getting frustrated.

I froze, turning to face him, anger and hurt bubbling on the surface. “Other night...had me in a choke hold, said you weren't interested, I was pathetic and to fuck off. Ring any bells? And for the record, I was told the room was free, I didn't know you were there!” I said harshly, turning back around to walk off, he caught my arm and roughly pulled me back. I tried to free myself from his grasp. His grip holding me tight and in place.

“I said that to Carol...”

I cut him off, “No! It was me!” I seethed.

His face fell, “I'm sorry” he mumbled, “I thought...”

 

I tried again to pull from his grasp but failed. “Yeah well you were wrong...”

He responded by gripping me tighter, pulling me against him, his lips then crashing into mine.

I was shocked and didn't respond, standing completely caught off guard. I had been so mad at him a minute ago, and now he was kissing me. He bought his other hand to my face, waiting for me to respond. His lips moving against mine, slowly, teasing me, trying to coax a response.

He froze, his lips still on mine and I gave in, kissing him back. I could feel him smirking as I gave in. He reacted with more fire this time. The kiss quickly heating up, our breathing ragged.

 

He slowly pulled away, resting his forehead on mine, our breathing still heavy.

“I've been wantin' ta do that all week” he growled. I couldn't help but smile. He pulled back further and had a look of worry on his face, running his hand through his hair. I wasn't sure what to expect now. Last time he looked like this, he bolted out of the tent and didn't speak to me for several days. I dropped my face, waiting for him to retreat.

“Ya still mad at me?” I looked up at him, surprised by his question.

“A little. I almost left that night.” I said quietly. “So you thought I was Carol?” I questioned. He nodded. “She's been giving me dirty looks ever since the night the farm got over-run”

“I know.” he said his eyes dropping to the ground.

 

We stood there in silence for a few minutes. I didn't know what else to say, honestly all I could think about was the kiss. My anger evaporating quickly. I broke the silence.

“We should head back, be dark soon.”

He nodded and insisted I take point on the way back. Following close behind me as I picked up my trail and head back through the woods towards the house.

 

I had no idea what to make of the kiss now. I knew he wasn't a relationship guy or would ever be public with affection, like Glenn and Maggie were. Or if we were just going back to being just friends. And I was sure if I bought it up he would bolt. So I guess I'm stuck with over analysing the situation.

Fucking perfect.

 

 

When we walked back to the front of the house, Glenn had a smug look on his face. I kept my face straight and took a seat on the porch steps. Daryl continued inside. Glenn walked over and looked at me.

“Can I help you?” I ask sarcastically.

“You go into the woods alone and then come back out with Daryl...” he said smirking.

“And you're implying?” I said, my face still blank.

“Fine, don't tell me...Just looks a little suspicious” he laughed.

Once his laughter subsided he turned back to me, “Can you take watch for a wee bit. Rick needs my help.” he asked, still looking smug.

I nodded and he went inside. I stood, walking out to the vehicles.

 

 

Slowly the sun started to set. I continued walking round, exhausted, pacing up and down the property. I had run myself pretty ragged the last few days. Definitely pulling more than my own weight round here. I didn't expect a thank you. I just wanted a rest and to sleep for at least six solid hours with no interruptions. I knew if I sat down though I would doze off, so I continued pacing slowly around the perimeter.

I replayed the kiss repeatedly in my head. That kiss was distracting. I had to shake my head back to reality several times.

 

I had been on watch for several hours now. And no one had come out since Glenn went inside to help Rick. Who knows what he needed help with, a run maybe or where we were heading next I assumed.

It was hard to feel included at times. This was one of those times when I felt I wasn't that valuable to the group, I was just a guard dog. I looked back to the house to see the lights were out, everyone must be in bed. I just hoped I would get relieved soon. I needed a few hours’ sleep at least and some dinner. I was a little surprised Maggie hadn't come out to give me some dinner. She had done that several times over the past few days, because she knew I was avoiding certain people.

 

Today had gone from me feeling excluded, to Daryl kissing me, to me being back on the outside again. Certainly didn't help that I was over-analysing the situation again. I needed to shut my brain off. At this point I was just tired.

I shouldered my bow and grabbed my machete instead. I took a walk towards the gate, trying to keep myself awake. The air was cold, so that was helping keep me awake. Thankfully it had been quiet tonight. I checked the lock on the gate to make sure it was still secured and peered out to the road.

Nothing but darkness.

 

 

Finally, after a few hours, the door opened and Rick emerged. I swallowed nervously. I was too tired to fight.

“Shit, sorry I thought T-dog had taken you off watch hours ago” he said looking apologetic.

“Oh” I said, the exhaustion heavy in my voice. “Are you taking over watch?” I asked. He nodded. “Thanks...Rick...” I said nervously. “I...um...I'm sorry about the other day. I didn't mean to make it sound like I was questioning your leadership.”

His face softened. “It’s forgotten. I'm sorry too. It's been a stressful few days. Now go get some sleep” he said motioning towards the door.

I forced a smile and made my way inside. I went straight to the kitchen and to find something to eat. There was a small covered bowl on the counter, looks like it was my forgotten dinner. I quickly ate it.

 

As I went to place the bowl in the sink, in my sleepy state my hand knocked a can to the floor, making a small thud as it hit the floor and rolled around. I cursed under my breath. At this hour it sounded louder than what it was.

As I picked it up I was startled by Daryl standing there, knife in hand. He must have been woken by the noise and went to investigate.

“Sorry to wake you” I mumbled, “I knocked a can off the bench” I said shrugging my shoulders, placing the can back on the bench.

“Why ya up so late?” he said lowering the knife.

“Rick just took over for me.”

Daryl scowled. “T-dog was suppos'd ta take ya off hours ago” he growled.

“He must have fallen asleep, it happens...Speaking of sleep, I need some.” I said walking towards the living room.

“Where ya sleepin'?” he asked like there was an obvious answer.

“I dunno, where ever I put my bag this morning” I said sounding frustrated. I was tired, I just wanted sleep.

He suddenly pulled me with him, walking down the hallway.

“Daryl?” I hissed quietly, pulling against his grip.

“Ya ain't sleepin on the floor. Sleep there” he said gruffly as he pointed to a bed. It sounded more like a command than a suggestion.

“Fine” I said sleepily. I wasn't about to turn down a bed. The floor had been very uncomfortable to sleep on. It left me feeling stiff and sore, for the few hours of sleep I did manage. He pulled me inside and I heard the door shut behind me. I walked over to the bed and sat down. I looked up to see Daryl still here.

I looked round the room, noticing his crossbow and bag in the corner, then back up to him, “Is this your room?” I ask suspiciously.

“Yeah and?” he said as he walked over to the other side.

I was too tired to argue with him. I kicked off my boots and removed my bow and quiver, placing them on a chair. I took the hoody off and undid my bra through my top, chucking that on my hoody. I undid my jeans and walked back to the bed.

 

I froze when I saw Daryl watching me.

“Stop it” I whispered. He smirked. I dropped my head and pulled the covers back from the bed and climbed in. I felt myself sink into the bed, it was so much better than the floor. I closed my eyes, I knew sleep would overtake me soon enough.

“I'll sleep good now” I mumbled. I felt Daryl shift beside me. “I sleep better next to you” I utter groggily.

 _“Me too”_ I think I hear him say quietly. He shifts again, as I start to doze.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So they finally kissed...well where no ran away this time....was it good?  
> I do like how Daryl makes her nervous with his looks...whether he does it on purpose or not....  
> Go on review.....  
> PS So excited for next chapter....any predictions?


	19. Before the Beginning...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this chapter is taking a bit of different turn than originally planned. Needed to show a bit more about Camille, hopefully this answers some questions you guys might have had about her.
> 
> Thanks to everyone who left a comment on the last chapter, it always surprises me when someone comment or leaves a kudos. So I'll never say no to more.  
> As always guys enjoy!!!!

Falling asleep I was thinking back to how this all started. How my perception has changed over such a short amount of time. Before my dad was my rock, now I'm my rock. God, I missed him. There wasn't a day that went by that I didn't think about him. He was right to say that I was strong, that I'm a survivor. He would be more than proud of who I've become.

 

Now, I had a new kind of family.

 

I was so scared to begin with, so alone, so hesitant to kill anything that wasn't an animal. Not to say now I've turned into some homicidal maniac all of a sudden.

Still to this day I've never had to kill a living human, only walkers.

**_Six months ago..._ **

 

I remember it so clearly when these strange attacks were getting reported on the news. It all seemed so random. So unbelievable. It had me thinking _“Should I be here? Should I be heading home?”_ Then the attacks and strangeness kept increasing at such a large rate and then it was too late to leave. I didn't have a choice any more. Flights were grounded. Airports closed. Bus services stopped. No signal for cell phones. No internet. No signal coming from the TV any more. It was like the world went into quarantine.

 

So, I was fucked. I wouldn't get to go home.

 

I had rung my dad in tears several times over the last few days. He would calm me down each time. I knew he was worried, I was always a daddy's girl. He listened to all my problems, no matter how personal they were, he knew it all. And we really bonded over hunting.

First time he had taken me out was when I was ten. By fifteen, I had my own bow and several rifles for hunting. I had it on good authority that I was a chick not to be messed with. But who knew this would all become practical and for survival, not just hunting for fun, as it used to be.

I called until I couldn't any more. Till the service had died.

 

 

**_Three days earlier..._ **

 

Larry, the motel manager, was sitting at the reception desk watching the TV. I stood at the counter, watching the madness unfold before us.

“Do ya believe the shit that's goin' on now...I mean it’s just so crazy, right?” he said to me.

“Only seems to be getting worse too. Have they said anything about where to go that's safe?” I ask.

He shrugged his shoulders. “Dunno. No where seems to be safe.” he said bluntly, looking back to the TV. Images of people attacking other people, and I mean it wasn't just an assault, they were biting them, eating them, like they were fucking cannibals. What the hell was wrong with the world and where is the god damn cure to stop this madness or was this our extinction event?

“If anythin' changes I'll let ya know” he called to me as I left to go back to my room.

 

Walking back to my room was a short walk.

**Bang!**

I froze when I heard a loud gunshot somewhere far off in the distance. I looked around the parking lot, scanning for any sign of danger.

**Bang!**

Another shot rang through the air.

The parking lots was empty, except for another two cars, parked at the far end. I swallowed nervously and quickly made my way back to the room. Instantly I grabbed a chair and wedged it under the door handle for extra security. I backed myself up to the bed, sitting down. My mind was racing but also numb at the same time.

 

The sound of gunshots were starting to get more frequent. What ever was happening was getting worse and getting closer. I had never been nervous around gunfire, as I owned several weapons myself. But this situation screamed something different, something terrifying.

I wasn't sure how long I would be holding up here though. I had already been to the store and bought enough supplies that if things turned to shit, like it seems to be now, I would have enough to last me a few weeks. I had a rental car. I had my bow, one of the few things I had bought from home. Couldn't leave home without it, it was like an extension of myself. I had wanted to do a hunting trip in most of the states I visited, so naturally bringing my bow from home was just normal. I doubted now that I would get to hunt for fun.

 

I looked through my phone, looking at the pictures of my family and friends, looking for a distraction. Had that been the last time I would see them? I missed them terribly, especially my nephew, he was barely a year old when I left. He should be walking and talking by now. My sister had sent me some videos of him trying to walk. It was still the cutest thing ever.

 

 

Hearing the gunshots were starting to subside I felt I could relax a little. I dropped my phone beside me on the bed and lay down, flicking on the TV again, keeping it on mute, horror pictures still flashing across the screen. Seeing the images was bad enough without having to listen to the destruction and chaos that was happening outside.

 

I grabbed my phone again and scrolled through the phone book till I saw my dad’s number, checking the time it would be about nine in the morning back home, he would be up, probably out working. I rang his cell phone, listening to it ring several times before my dad answered.

“Hey dad” a smile on my face already and a little relieved he answered, maybe it wasn't so bad back home.

“Hey honey. How are ya?” he says quite cheerfully.

“Homesick a bit. Have you had the same news reports there as we have? It’s really starting to get worse here, I reckon.”

“Had some reports, seems to be worse further north. Think we are pretty sheltered here for now. Have been keeping an eye out on the news. Where are you now?” he asked.

“Small town in Tennessee. At a motel at the moment. Not sure if I should carry on or stay put?” I say looking back to the door the chair still firmly in place.

“I say stay away from the big cities. Seems to be worse there” his tone becoming more serious, with a hint of fatherly worry.

“Exactly what I'm thinking too.” I said biting my thumb nail nervously.

“I know you're scared honey but we gotta hope this will sort itself out and you'll be home soon enough.”

“I know, I know” I sighed.

“And you're 28, I taught you everything you need to know to kick ass and survive if it comes to that. You're stronger than you think and you have a good head on your shoulders, so stop the self-doubt, gotta keep your head up kiddo.” he said chuckling quietly. I knew he wasn't criticizing me, it was his blunt way of saying “man up”. It did make me roll my eyes a bit but this was why I had called him, I needed that reassurance just now.

“Ok honey I better get back to work. I'll call you later on, ok?” he said. His tone suggesting he wanted to talk more but it would have to wait till later. I said my goodbyes and reluctantly hung up the phone.

 

 

I was pacing round the motel and had been for the past few hours, the news still on mute, pictures of cannibalism flashing by. It was terrifying. I had my blinds drawn and the chair still wedged under the front door handle. It put some of my doubts to rest. Some. Things were slowly getting worse though. I knew I would have to move on soon. Where to I wasn't sure. And to make things worse, I couldn't sleep, my mind was too wired at the moment.

 

So, I decided to call the only person I knew would calm me down. I pushed the call button but it wouldn't connect.

I tried again.

Nothing.

No signal flashing at the top of the screen.

I went to the bedside table and started dialling my dad’s number. The line was dead.

I sat on my bed just staring at my phone and broke down in tears. I didn't want to be here anymore I just wanted to go home.

Then the TV lost its signal, the emergency broadcast message coming on.

 

More gunfire raged outside, slightly closer than last time. I double checked the chair again, making sure it was wedged tight under the door handle. The only light in the room was the TV. I peeked out the blinds, looking out to the parking lot, two people were stumbling around out there. It was dark out and hard to make out why they were walking like they were drunk. Something seemed off but I couldn't place it. They aimlessly wandered round almost bumping into one of the cars. I watched then as I saw Larry walk out, shouting out to them, the people quickly turned in his direction, stumbling towards him, arms outstretched. Larry stopped not too far from them, shouting something to them, they didn't seem to reply but stumble forward.

 

It happened so fast then, I saw Larry raise his arm, a machete in his hand, splitting it on the skull of one of the people. I gasped in horror. I couldn't believe what I had just witnessed. Holy shit, was I staying at the Bate's Motel? Was Larry a serial killer and he had his stuffed mother in his apartment? I mean he just fucking killed someone!

 

I was frozen in place petrified. I watched as the second person, grabbed Larry's arm holding the machete and bit down into his flesh. Larry screamed in agony. The person managed to overpower him, sending Larry to the asphalt. I backed away from the window, going straight to the bathroom. I locked the door and stood at the sink. I could still hear Larry's screaming from in here. Looking in the mirror, a wave of nausea rolled over me, I got to the toilet in time, emptying my stomach. I flushed the toilet and went back to the sink, running the water, splashing some cold water onto my face and rinsing my mouth out.

 

After splashing another handful of water onto my face, I noticed there was no more screaming. It was _deathly_ quiet. I swallowed nervously. So, the cannibal virus or whatever it was had caught up to the town I was in. And Larry was dead. I was well and truly on my own now. I felt the tears fall. I slunk down on to the floor, leaning up against the bath and hugged my knees, the tears flowing freely now. I was scared shitless. And I had no idea what I should do.

 

I slept on the bathroom floor that night, the bathroom door locked. I heard nothing for the rest of the night.

 

 

The next morning I woke stiff and sore and was confused as to why I was in the bathroom, until all the images of last night flooded back. I felt the shock roll through my body again.

 

I stood at the bathroom door listening to any sounds that could be on the other side. It was silent. I hesitantly unlocked the door, it creaking as it opened, I silently cursed. I peeked out into the room to see everything still in the same place I had left it. The chair still wedged under the handle.

 

Peeking out the small sliver of the blinds, looking out to the parking lot. Larry lay sprawled out on the ground, but there were parts of him missing, blood soaking his clothes. I swallowed nervously. The other person he had taken out yesterday, was laying not too far from him, the machete still impaled in their skull. Dead.

The rest of the parking lot was empty, one of the cars gone. My car was still sitting out in front of my room. In the distance across the road was a gas station, I could see people wandering around aimlessly. But they looked like the people yesterday. I wasn't sure how to describe how they were. They were mindless, numb but cannibalistic at the same time.

 

As I looked around there was a certain stillness in the air.

Something just clicked in my brain and I knew I needed to leave here. This wouldn't be safe for much longer, last night showed me that and looking at Larry's lifeless body and the other body lying on the ground was painfully obvious.

 

So, I made a plan, I looked round my room and looked at what I needed to do. I had my bow, tent and sleeping bag in the boot of the car. I needed to pack everything I needed into the car and the hell out of dodge. And if I had time I would maybe ransack some of the room for supplies, at least the reception. I hated to loot but Larry was dead and the world was turning to shit. I needed all I could get my hands on.

 

I took a deep breath, feeling some of the panic creep in. I grabbed my bags and placed them on the bed, I packed everything into the bags, then went to the bathroom, looking through the medicine cabinet, looking for any supplies that would be useful. Mostly it was first aid items and some travel bars of soap. I took the towels as well. I knew I was packing a lot but hell I had no idea what I needed or what would be in store for me. I packed what else I could fit into the bags and zipped them up.

Going to the kitchenette I packed the food and water I had bought a few days ago, _in case of emergency._ Placing the bags on the bed next to my bags.

I stood back and looked at all I had, there were a few bags but I'm convinced I need all of this.

I left the kitchen sink, surely that counts for something.

 

Walking over to the blinds again, I took another tentative look outside. It was still clear from what I could see. I tried looking down the side of the motel, making sure it was clear. It seemed to be.

I took the chair away from the door and placed my hand on the door knob and just held it there. I was frozen for a moment, unsure of what the world was like on the other side. I really wished I had my bow with me right now. Why did I leave it in the car? I took another deep breath and slowly turned the handle, pulling the door open. Thankfully this door didn't creak.

I had my keys in my hand and slowly took a step outside, looking to my left and right, looking for danger, my heart beating fast. It was clear for now. I briskly walked to the car, unlocking the boot and leaving it open, grabbing my bow and shouldering it. I promptly grabbed my bags and started shoving them into the boot. I had a backpack full of important and essential items packed if I needed to bail in a hurry. I put this bag in the passenger seat.

The car was now packed. I just needed to quickly check the reception area for anything useful then maybe check a few rooms before leaving.

 

I took another look round the parking lot. My eyes locked on to the machete. That could be useful. I cautiously walked over to the body, trying not to look at Larry who was lying a few feet away. As I approached I could see the person that had tried to attack Larry yesterday. They looked wrong, there were several chucks that had been torn out on the arms, and you could make out the bite marks, they looked to be human. This was mental. It made no sense.

I swallowed the bile that was threatening to rise.

The person's eyes were staring at me as I reached forward for the machete. I was stuck in there pretty good. I had to give it a hard yank to pull it free. I just stood there and looked at the dead body, it was so hard to wrap my mind around.

Rustling and gurgling behind snapped me back to reality. I spun around to see Larry trying to push himself up, his arm outstretched towards me.

“Larry?” I whispered quietly, more quiet than I intended it to be.

His only response was the gurgling. As I looked him over, half of one of his arms had been chewed off and there seemed to be a gaping wound coming from his stomach, flesh torn, blood everywhere. I gripped the machete tighter.

“Larry, damn it answer me” my voice still quiet. No response.

“I'm sorry” I said, my hands shaking. I raised the machete and just held it there for a second before I dropped it to my side. I couldn't so this, this wasn't me.

Larry continued pushing himself off the ground, grunting and growling. He seemed to be struggling. Finally, he was on his feet and now coming towards me. His eyes were dead. The person that once was there was gone. And now the look, the growling, the state of him, it scared me. I knew then what I needed to do. It didn't feel right or sane but it was me or him. And I was choosing me.

 

I now looked at the machete impaled through Larry's skull. His movements stopped and as I pulled the machete free he slumped the ground, lifeless again.

 

I was feeling so conflicted. I had just killed somebody. _Something._

I shook these feelings, trying to get back into the mindset I needed. I needed to go check the reception area for anything useful. I shoved my keys into my pocket ad clutched the machete tighter again. I scanned the parking lot, still clear. I needed to be quick. The longer I'm here, the worse the situation will get.

 

With it being about lunchtime the reception area was very well lit. I immediately hopped the counter and rummaged through the drawers for anything. I found some more first aid supplies, mini shampoos and a 9mm Beretta with a silencer that was hidden under the till. There was a box of ammo stashed in one of bottom drawers under a pile of papers.

I grabbed a bag and shoved the items I found into them. I emptied the small bar fridge of its contents, mostly bottles of water, some cans of soda and weirdly a few cans of beans, something I wasn't expecting to see in a fridge.

 

I hopped back over the counter and standing in the door way was the person who had “eaten” Larry last night. He had a nasty gash on his neck, blood soaking most of his top. He growled at me as he started to move forward. I grabbed the gun, taking the safety off and took a shot, shooting him in the shoulder. He hardly flinched, he kept moving forward, except now he was more pissed off. I swallowed again, raising the gun higher up and watched as the bullet pierced his skull, sending him to the ground with a thud.

With the silencer attached, the two shots were hardly heard. Hopefully then it wasn't going to attract any more attention.

I gathered my supplies, put the safety back on and placed the gun in the back on my jeans and clutched the machete. I stepped over the body, not able to look at it and went straight to the car.

 

I sat in the car, closing the door behind me, locking the locks immediately. I still felt in shock, adrenaline still pumping through my body. So much for this being a fun road trip, it had certainly taken a hard-left turn.

 

**Thump!**

I was startled when there was banging on my passenger door. Another one of these infected people were trying to claw their way into the car, the window blocking them. I started the car and started to wind my way out of the parking lot, avoiding several littered dead bodies. The infected person still stumbling after the car. The “people” that were staggering around the gas station were now alerted to the noise of my car and were coming towards me. I could see them more clearly, they all seemed to have bites or serious wounds of some sort. I knew I just needed to get out of here, away from this chaos.

 

And so I drove away, looking back once in the rear-view mirror, seeing the lifeless bodies stumbling after my car. Where I was going to now I had no idea...

 

**_Now..._ **

 

I was woken by sunlight coming through the window. I felt so good, despite remembering the dream, remembering how this all started. Some of it still unnerved me to this day. Although killing walkers has become much easier as I now realise they aren't people, they're dead. You don't come back to being human after your bit.

 

I felt better than I had in the last week or so. I slept solidly for who knows how long. I stretched as I got out of the bed, noticing I was alone and quickly got dressed, grabbing my bow on the way out.

Lori smiled as I entered the kitchen. “Afternoon” she said.

“Afternoon?...You should have woken me” I said, a little shocked by the time.

“No, you needed the sleep. Rick said he took over for you at 4am this morning. You deserved to sleep in a bit” she said looking through some cans.

Carol stood at the sink, her back to me. I grabbed an apple off the table and made my way outside, thinking of my dad once again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry no Daryl this chapter, promise he'll be back next chapter.  
> Did you like how this flashback went? I hope it gives a little more info about Camille


	20. Mirage

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I'm quite proud of this chapter and I hope you guys like it too. Have been furiously editing it today so I could post it.  
> Not sure what you guys thought of the last chapter, was a bit different.  
> As always Enjoy!

It was a calm day outside. No wind, not a cloud in the sky. It was unnerving. Like a calm before the storm. But it didn't look stormy so who knows what was in store for us. I hoped my uneasy feeling was just that, a feeling and nothing more. Last time I felt like this was at the farmhouse.

I swallowed my nerves and walked out to the front yard over to T-dog.

T-dog saw me, an apologetic look on his face, “I'm so sorry bout last night. I sat down and must have fallen asleep.”

“Its fine. It was pretty quiet anyway” I said biting into my apple. It didn't bother me. “Do you think anyone will mind if I go hunting?” I ask.

“Probably best to stick around here. Rick, Daryl, Glenn and Maggie have gone on a run. Left a few hours ago. Just out looking for supplies. Should be back in a bit” he said clutching his rifle.

“Ok well I'll go do a sweep of the perimeter then” I said, he nodded and I made my way to the gate, bow in hand.

 

The chain hung loosely around the gate. The road clear. I stood there looking out to the road, lost in my thoughts. It had been a long few days, with little sleep. That was more my fault for being stubborn and mopey. I shouldn't have let Rick's mood swing affect me and just “manned up” and apologised to Rick whether I agreed with him or not. He was our leader after all.

Realising I had been standing at the gate for about fifteen minutes I started to make my way towards the back of the house.

 

 

Behind the house was a huge open field before the tree line started.

I scanned around, stopping in my tracks when I saw movement.

A walker emerged from the tree line. I grabbed a bolt and placed it in the string, clutching the apple between my teeth. As I looked up to line up my shot, I saw another walker appear, then another and another, until there was a steady stream of them coming out from the trees. I dropped the apple from my mouth and sprinted back to the front of the house.

 

“Large herd coming in from the back, we need to go now!” I said in a rush to T-dog. His face dropped.

Both of us now sprinting inside.

 

Everyone froze as we both hastily entered the house, both of us panting, a little in panic and a little after running.

“Get what you can and get to the car now, there's a herd coming in from the back. Now move!” I yelled to the others, who looked to us frightened before they quickly dispersed and started grabbing our things.

I was glad we hadn't shifted everything inside. I grabbed the map off the table and shoved it into my back pocket. We all grabbed the bags and shoved them into the boot of the Cherokee.

I looked behind me, seeing the walkers coming closer, we had about two minutes at best.

“What about Rick?” Lori said panicked, clutching Carl tighter to her small frame, “How will they find us?” she said tears starting to run down her face.

I looked past her and straight to T-dog.

“T-dog there's a town about twenty miles from here. Head west. I'll rig a sign to let Rick and others know where we went. You need to leave now! I'll lead as much of them away from you, give you some extra time, while you leave.” I said looking back over my shoulder again, the herd was getting too close.

“We can't just leave you!” Hershel said

“I'll lead them away” I said. I had already made my mind up, they needed the extra time and I could give them that. Sure, I knew it could possibly be a suicide mission but standing here arguing about it wasn't going to help them.

 

T-dog just stood there, looking conflicted. “No” he growled.

I pushed him, shoving him back a little, surprising him a little.

“Go! Now!” I shouted. “Lock the gate behind you, trust me! I'll find you! Go!” I yelled running towards the walkers. I heard them shouting behind me. I ignored them.

“Go! Now!” I yelled once more. Everyone was confused about what I doing but I knew what I needed to do. I heard the truck start and start to pull away.

 

 

I was now looking at a group of about thirty walkers. I was starting to regret this plan. I pushed my doubt aside and started firing off shots taking down several walkers that were close to me, yelling as I did, to attract more of their attention and away from the gate. Their pace quickened when as I yelled, moaning and growling as they stumbled forward. The bulk of the herd now coming in my direction. I then started running, sprinting for my life out towards the trees. _Yeah great plan_ , I thought to myself.

 

I had a plan. Run towards the trees, get the walkers to follow me, do a big loop through the woods, then come back round to the house and get myself on the other side of the fence, then make my way towards the town, where I was hoping the group would be at. That was the plan any way, whether it was a good plan or if it would work was the question I was faced with now. Worst case was I didn't make it but I would give the group a head start. Silver lining, right?

 

 

The walkers stayed hot on my heels as I made my way towards the trees. I could hear the shuffling, debris crunching under their feet and moaning behind me. Up ahead I saw a lone walker stumbling through the woods. It heard the commotion, noticing me and the horde still behind me, stumbling after me, growling and carrying on. I used the end of my bow to smash its face as I ran by it, forcing it backwards. I didn't look behind me to see if it had fallen or not. It didn't matter. I hated to use my bow like that, it felt so disrespectful but in this case I would overlook that. My survival was more important at this point.

My side ached as I was running. Worst time to get stitch. My legs were burning from the constant running on the rough terrain. I had to push through the pain. I wasn't about to become walker lunch, so there wasn't a choice. Run.

 

I weaved through the trees and started to head towards the direction of the house. The walkers were still following me, although they had fallen behind a bit. But they weren't about to give up any time soon.

 

I saw the house come into view across the field. I could see a few walkers in the field still, wandering aimlessly, stragglers from the horde. I shouldered my bow and grabbed my machete. I hacked at the ones that were in my path as I went past, feeling some blood spattering onto my face as I ran.

 

I glanced quickly behind me and could see the horde emerging from the trees again. “Fuck they really don't give up” I said to myself, my breath coming out in huge gasps. I pushed forward, I could see the brick fence in view. I just had to work out how I was going to get over the wall, the wall had to be at least six foot and I didn't think my arms would be strong enough to pull myself up, not after running that marathon. I scanned the yard, then behind me again, the horde was catching up, as they saw their meal cornered.

A lone walker stood at the wall, it turned around lazily just as I came to stand in front of it, machete raised, impaling it through the skull and dropping the body to the ground. I spotted a wheelbarrow a few feet away, I quickly flipped out the contents and wheeled it next to the fence. It gave me another two feet of height. I barely managed to pulled myself up on top of the wall, as it toppled over. I just pulled my legs up when the swarm reached the wall. I stood for a minute just catching my breath and working out what to do next. I looked at the herd massing behind me, pushing against the wall, then looking to the other side which was clear of walkers.

 

 

How was I going to rig a sign for Rick and the others? My mind was so foggy as I tried to rack my brain for a solution. Frustrated I shoved my hands into my hoody pocket, feeling the map. I knew grabbing the map on my way out was a good idea, having shoved it into my hoody pocket on my way out.

 

The multiple hands were still pawing away below me. I needed to move, I didn't have time to sit around. I looked around to make sure it was still clear below me. Thankfully no walkers on this side. I dropped my weapons to the ground as carefully as I could and I lowered myself gently down the wall, not wanting to twist my ankle on the way down. I place my machete back in its holder around my waist and grabbed my bow again. I made my way towards the drive-way. I could hear some of the walkers at the gate, rattling against the metal. I'm so glad it was locked right now. _Thank you, T-dog,_ I thought.

 

I got to the end of the driveway to the mailbox. I was trying to figure out how I was going to rig this sign and how I was going to write on it. Then something caught my eye, a smudge on the edge of the map as I held it. Blood from one of the walkers I had killed earlier. I circled the town I had told the group to head to. And wrote _“Herd. Gone to town. All safe”_. It wasn't a complete lie, from my knowledge we were all safe, except I was just on my own instead on with our group. But writing that was impractical, I didn't need to write a novel. I gave them a chance, surely that was worth something. Sure, people would be pissed off but too late now to take it back.

“Again, stellar fucking plan” I grumbled to myself.

 

I could still hear the clanging of metal as the walkers banged against the gate. I just hoped it would hold. I looked for something to pin the map to the mailbox. I couldn't find anything. I thought about using rocks to pin it to the top, it seemed to work. I just hoped Rick and others would see the map.

 

 

I needed to get moving towards the town. It would take me several hours and that was if I didn't run into any problems. That would just be too easy though. Hopefully at the latest, I could make it before nightfall, if things went my way.

I set off jogging away from the house and towards the town. I kept my bow out ready.

 

 

I slowed down a bit as I got further away from the house, briskly walking down the road. Mostly due to exhaustion, I was still so tired from all the running earlier and the adrenaline was wearing off. I froze when I heard rustling up ahead from the trees. I grabbed a bolt, loading it into the string, keeping my eyes forward as I did, trained on the trees. “C'mon” I whispered to myself impatiently, tapping the side of my bow.

Finally two walkers stumbled out, instantly taking notice of me. I let the bolt fly, watching as it sank into the first walker, dropping it to the road with a **Thump!** The second walker picked up its pace, now only about ten feet in front of me. I dropped my bow, taking my machete out. The walker reached out towards me, growling. I quickly swung the machete, separating its head from its shoulders. I felt the blood splatter onto my cheek. The body crumpled to the ground, the head rolling away. I walked over to the head, looking at it still chomping away, dead eyes looking back up at me. I unceremoniously bought my boot up and crushed it, blood oozing onto the ground. It was now silent, no more chomping. I wiped my boot and machete on the grass, trying to rid as much gunk as possible, before going to retrieve my bow and the bolt firmly implanted in the other walker, placing it into my quiver and continuing down the road.

 

 

I came upon an abandoned car, dried blood splattering the windows and around the car. The remains of a person inside, the meat eaten from its bones. The walkers and people long since abandoned the car. I carefully opened the boot, looking for anything I could scavenge. It had already been picked clean, nothing useful. So, I carried on, taking my bow off my shoulder once again.

 

I had been walking for about two hours now. I had come across a few walkers, they were usually on their own so they were easy to take down, retrieving the bolts as I passed. I couldn't afford to leave them behind, I needed as many as I could carry. I had already lost a few taking out some of the walkers back at the house.

 

 

My body was aching and tired and the sun was starting to get lower in the sky. At this rate, I knew I wouldn't make it to the town before nightfall, in a few hours I would need to find somewhere to stay for the night.

The damn walkers kept coming out of the woods, slowing me down. With each walker I took down, I felt the energy starting to get zapped from my body. If I had to take on several at once, it wouldn't end well for me. So far I had been lucky. If there really was such a thing in this world.

I decided I would walk for as long as I could and when its starts to get dark, find the nearest tree to hold up in for the night. I had really hoped it wouldn't come to that. I wanted to be back with our group.

I hated being on my own now. Funny how in just a few short weeks your opinion can be changed. When this started, I was on my own for a bit, before I met up with some people, then the herd rolled through and I was separated from them. I steered clear of people after that. It seemed safer to be on my own at times, only had to watch my own back. Which was challenging at times but I got used to it and worked out a system that seemed to work for me, for a while anyway.

Now I just wanted to be back with the group, even though I still felt like I didn't fully belong with the group. And there was a bit of tension but they were...family. And what's family without a bit of tension.

 

So, I kept walking. My body still aching, I was tired, hungry, thirsty. I just wanted to have a hot shower, get into some clean clothes and crawl into a bed and sleep for a week. I hated being on the run constantly but this was our life now. _My_ life now.

I pushed aside thoughts of being back on my own again. This was my own doing, so I couldn't really blame anyone else but myself. I was sure I had made the right decision at the time. They needed more time to get out and there wasn't enough room for everyone in the Cherokee. And I could give them that chance. Even if it meant sacrificing myself in the process. Maybe I was stupid to do this after all.

Right now it felt like when this first all went down. Being on my own. Scared. The road was rather quiet and lonely. I half expected, _well wanted_ , the group to come driving by and pick me up. And the worst-case scenario, a large herd of walkers after me. I only saw those two options for now. There was no middle ground for this situation.

 

The sun was starting to set and with distractions like walkers slowing me down, I think I had only made it about 10 miles. I didn't know how long the group would wait, or if they would wait for me. But it was starting to get dark, if I stumble around in the dark I'll end up falling over something, injuring myself and becoming a midnight snack.

 

I was worried the group would drive by just as I'm sleeping up in a tree and I would miss them. But I had to sleep, well at least find somewhere to hold up. I didn't trust sleeping on the ground while I was alone and exhausted. I looked back down the road, hoping to see head-lights. I only saw an empty road. I walked till I found a decent tree to sleep in. I shouldered my bow and looked up at the tree, there looked to be a cradle about fifteen feet up. I took one last look up and down the road, looking for headlights.

Nothing. I sighed, defeated.

 

Sitting in the tree I stared into the darkness. I was frustrated, hungry and cold, and just a little angry at myself. I tried to make myself comfortable, and I finally started to drift off.

I jerked myself awake several times when a critter scurried across the forest floor or in a nearby tree.

I silently cursed them each time.

 

 

Soon enough the sun was on the horizon. I stretched working out the kinks that had formed in the little sleep I had managed last night. I took a look around my surroundings, making sure the coast was clear. The woods were quiet, not even any sounds of critters running about currently. Jumping down from the tree I made my way back out to the road. I heard my stomach grumble. I would try to look for something to eat while I walked. Food and water, just needed a little so I could keep going today.

 

The road was barren. An endless bloody road.

 

I came to a small bridge, with a slow flowing creek. Finally, some good news. I was lucky to find some berries growing on a bush near the water so grabbed what I could and scoffed them down. I quickly washed some of the dried blood off my hands and then drank some of the water and grabbed another handful of berries, placing them in my bandanna and into my hoody pocket for later. I felt a little more refreshed and had a little more energy.

 

Coming back up on to the road, it was still empty. My mind constantly thought back to what was happening with the group, had everyone met up? Had they left and moved on? Had they come to look for me? I hated that last two questions as it always made me doubt myself. I wanted to keep positive but in this environment, it was hard. Doubt always found a way to creep in.

 

Rustling from the bushes up ahead instantly bought me back to reality. I grabbed my bow and a bolt. I watched a walker stumbled out and another behind it. The wind blew and they immediately caught my scent. I quickly took the first one down, I didn't have enough time to load the second bolt before it was only a few feet in front of me. I ducked out of the way as its outstretched arm tried to grab for me. I quickly spun shoving the bolt through its skull, dropping it to the road. My hands were splatters of blood on them again. I guessed if I was had an obsessive-compulsive disorder right now I would be freaking out. I laughed to myself. That sound was so foreign to me. I stopped laughing remembering the situation I was in. I was alone. I collected my bolt as I walked by the rotting corpse.

 

I had walked another mile or so now feeling the sun beating down on me today. I had polished off the remaining berries in my pocket and wished I had more. I was starving. The sun now higher, must be getting close to noon, the heat of the day starting to set in, the road magnifying the heat.

I had barely come across any walkers, just one or two every now and then. They were manageable in smaller groups. Nothing that I couldn't handle. At least for now. But with every walker I took down, I used more and more energy. I could feel my muscles getting heavier each time I raised my bow. But I wasn't about to give up. So, I pushed myself harder.

 

 

I stopped in my tracks when I thought I was hearing things. It sounded like a vehicle. But I had imagined the noise more than once today and several times through the night but they all turned out to be figments of my imagination.

The sound still approached me, behind me. I looked around, no cars. Nothing.

“Stop fucking with me!” I yelled in frustration. And then silently cursed, scolding myself, thinking about how noise attracts them, such a smart move. I picked up the pace, now at a jog, I needed to keep moving. I looked behind me and I could see walkers coming out from the trees, five or six of them, ambling towards me. I kept jogging. I wasn't going to let them get me. Just keep running, I kept saying to myself.

I knew they were slowly starting to gain on me.

 

I could then hear what sounded like a vehicle, another figment of my imagination again I thought. I was still jogging, my stitch cramping my side, sweat dripping down my face. I wasn't sure how much longer I could go for.

 

The sound got closer. I was afraid to look behind me, knowing the drooling freaks were catching up to me. Then something whipped past me and I noticed it was a motorbike, it skidded to a stop about a hundred feet ahead of me. It looked like Daryl's bike. But it couldn't be, right?

My heartbeat was thumping in my ears, my vision blurring a little as I tried to focus. I was sure he was shouting something but I couldn't make it out, my heartbeat drowning it out. I kept jogging forward. Waiting for the bike and him to disappear. But they didn't, this confused me.

 

Daryl ran towards me crossbow pointed at me. I looked over my shoulder there was only a few feet between me and the walkers.

“Duck!” I heard him yell through the moaning behind me.

Just as I did, I heard the arrow whiz past me. I grabbed my machete, turned and impaled it through the skull of the walker closest to me. Adrenaline pumped through me and another arrow went past me, dropping the drooling walker to the road. I pulled the machete out stabbed it through the mouth of the next closest walker, another arrow dropped a walker grabbing at my arm. Two more to go. Pulling my blood coated machete out, I slashed and taking the head clean off, the last walker stumbled forward, unaware of his fate. One last arrow flew by, the walker falling with a thud. I was breathing heavy, still trying to catch my breath, walkers laid out around me, my back still turned to Daryl. I was afraid if I turned around he wouldn't be there.

 

“You ok?” he gruffly asked from behind me. I held my breath and turned around. He was really there. I let out my breath, with a sigh and smiled. He looked me over, his crossbow still slightly raised as he was looking for signs that I was bit probably, eyes narrowed.

“Follow my breadcrumbs?” I smirk.

He just looked at me like he hadn't heard me.

“I'm fine” I breathed out.

I saw him relax just a little.

“Were you bit?” he asked looking me over again, I shook my head. He dropped his crossbow.

“Did you find the rest of the group?” I asked.

“Yeah, c'mon they're waiting” he said motioning towards his bike.

 _They waited_ , I thought to myself.

 

I slowly started walking towards his bike while Daryl retrieved his bolts, catching up to me quickly.

“Do you have any water?” I asked feeling my throat dry up at the thought of it. He fished around in his bag and handed me a bottle. I downed half of it and screwed the lid on, handing it back to Daryl. I hopped on the bike behind Daryl and wrapped my arms around his waist, holding a little tighter than usual.

“Thanks” I mumbled into his back. He squeezed my hand before starting the bike with a loud roar.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So not alot of Daryl but I promise I haven't forgotten about him. Any thoughts on what you want to happen?  
> Would love to hear what you guys think as usual!!! So please review :o)


	21. Reunion

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to AceLucky and Debbief722 for the comments! You guys rock! Dixon love to you both!  
> Comments always appreciated.
> 
> So who's going to be happy to see Camille back?

We were only riding about ten minutes before Daryl started to slow down. Passing through the small town I had circled on the map, we rode through to the other side, then we came to a few lone houses.

 

I recognised the Cherokee and the Prius parked out front. People started filing out of the house at the sound of Daryl's bike I assumed. Lori and Maggie came running up, both hugging me as soon as I had stepped off the bike.

 

“Oh my god! We were so worried about you!” Lori said pulling back, the smile falling a little, “I can't believe you made us leave you..”

“Sorry” I mumbled.

“We're so glad you're alright.” she said, tears brimming in her eyes.

Maggie just hugged me tightly.

T-dog was the next to come over, he held me by the shoulders and held my gaze, “Don't ever make me do that again. We can't leave our people behind!” he said before he pulled me into a tight hug. I knew he was a little angry about it, but for now it was overshadowed by my return and that I was safe.

“I'm sorry, I know it was a bit reckless and scared you guys’ half to death watching me run towards the group of walkers. I needed to give you guys a chance and there wasn't enough room in the Cherokee as it was. And you needed the extra time. Otherwise that gate would have been unlocked and there wouldn't have been any time to leave a message for Rick and the others. It’s done now but I'm safe, ok?” I said quickly trying to smile. T-dog still looked conflicted.

 

Rick smiled and nodded at me, Carol forced a smile before turning back inside. Hershel and the others warmly smiled towards me. Glenn coming over hugging me tightly. Daryl hung back, leaning against his bike, keeping his distance since we got back.

 

 

“C'mon we'll get you cleaned up” Lori said pulling me towards the side of the house. I wasn't sure how rough I looked right now. Probably a little worse for wear I imagined. And if looking at my hands was any indication to how I looked, probably looked like I needed a really good wash.

 

I zoned out as she washed away the filth and blood from me. Both my mind and my body were exhausted. It had been a long two days.

“Are we staying here tonight?” I asked, tuning back into reality.

“I think so, for the night at least...You know I tried to make T-dog go back for you as soon as he started driving away...Rick and the others showed up to us early this morning...and when Daryl heard, he just about lost it, have never seen him like that...As soon as he had calmed down a little he took off saying he was going to find you” she said ending it with a smile.

“It all happened so quickly...As soon as I heard you guys leaving I did a loop around the back of the house through the woods, got back to the house, jumped the fence and started running, once it got dark I knew I had to stop for the night, slept in a tree...I was afraid I would die out there alone...” I said my face dropping.

“Well you're not alone, not any more” Maggie said from beside me, she said squeezing my arm. I kept the fears that they might leave me behind to myself. They had waited and that was all that mattered right now.

 

 

I walked back round to the front of the house, feeling fresher. Lori and Maggie both heading inside, they stopped because I wasn't following them anymore. I waved them off, heading towards Rick. 

Rick, T-dog and Daryl looked up as I approached.

“So, do you need someone for watch tonight?” I asked.

“No” Daryl bit out, scowling at me.

“No” Rick said softer, “You need a good night’s sleep” he said raising an eyebrow. I had to admit, a night's sleep would do me good after running yesterday and today. It was more out of habit to offer, regardless of how tired I felt. I wanted to contribute towards the group and doing watch was one of the ways I felt like I contributed the most. More so because I hadn't had a chance to do much hunting lately.

“And thank you for what you did, giving them the chance, getting them...out” he said more quietly.

I didn't look at Daryl, I kept my eyes on Rick and nodded, heading back inside. I would take advantage of the downtime I had for the moment. I was looking forward to getting some sleep and hopefully a decent meal. The berries hadn't exactly filled my belly.

 

 

It was quiet inside. Glenn smiled to me as we passed each other, squeezing my shoulder on the way past.

“Do you need help?” I asked Carol. She smiled and handing me a knife and some vegetables. I got lost in my thoughts as I cut up the vegetables, chucking them into a pot. Carol assembled a few more ingredients adding them to the pot. I had no idea what she was making, I was more focused on doing the task in front of me and nothing else.

 

“Thank you for what you did yesterday. It was brave” she said quietly beside me. I stopped chopping, not expecting her to talk to me.

“Yeah...but it was also pretty reckless too. It wasn't till I was over the wall that I realised I was on my own...that I might never see any of you again or that if by some miracle, I made it to the town, you guys would already be gone...” I trailed off and mentally slapping myself for saying that out loud. No one needed to know that fear I had. It sounded like I had no faith in the group or the bond that I have with them.

“We would have waited” she said simply as he clutched my hand. I couldn't help but smile and sniffle as a few tears rolled down my cheeks.

“Go have a rest, we'll come get you when dinner is ready.” she said placing the pot onto the burner and shooing me away out of the kitchen.

 

 

I walked down the hallway till I saw an empty bedroom. I closed the door, stripping off my bow and machete, kicking off my boots and taking off my hoody. I sat on the bed and fell back too tired to pull the rest of my body on to the bed or take off any more of my clothes. My body was still aching quite a bit, from all the running and hacking and trying to sleep in the tree last night had been less than favourable. I never appreciated a bed so much until right now.

 

I thought about what Carol had said to me. I knew lately the relationship had become strained but that was to do with Daryl. Before he was even a thought, we had gotten along fine. She had been there for me after Shane attacked me, mothering me a bit, even afterwards. Her statement though, about saying they would have waited, did make me smile. Especially coming from her. The last few weeks have been so hard, mostly me being hard on myself, isolating myself. But to hear that I did matter and they would have waited meant a lot to me. It put some of my other fears to rest.

 

I felt myself starting to doze off. I heard the door open then quietly close. I sighed, feeling myself fall deeper into my haze but also feeling eyes watching me.

“What, Daryl?” I said through a yawn. The bed shifted beneath me. “You're mad at me?” I asked dragging my eyes open.

“I'm furious!” he growled. “Ya could 'ave got yerself killed” he said quieter but just as angry.

I closed my eyes, afraid of how he would react when I said this, “Daryl I knew it was more than likely a suicide mission...I knew there was only a small chance I could make it out and meet up with everyone...I had to...to give them a chance to get out...they wouldn't have been able to if someone didn't do something. No one else was going to step up to do that, so I told them to leave and lock the gate behind them” I said pinching the bridge of my nose.

“And what bout you? What bout yer' chance?” he spat angrily.

“I didn't think about me honestly, not till I was over that wall. I know it was reckless and stupid but it’s done and I'm fine” I said swallowing nervously. I was expecting a lot more yelling.

“Damn right it was fuckin' stupid!” he growled.

I tried reaching for him but couldn't. He shifted, the weight coming off the bed. Then the sound of the door opening and closing. I sighed again.

He was right though, in that moment I wasn't thinking about my chance. I knew the risks though, I had done it for the group because they needed that extra time. In the back of my mind I hoped I would survive and find my way back, despite the risks. And by some miracle I had found my way back to them.

 

 

A soft knock woke me, I groggily opened my eyes, Maggie had poked her head in the door, “How ya feelin?” she asked.

I yawned. “Exhausted” I smiled.

“Well dinner's ready, c'mon” she said coming in and holding a hand out for me, helping me up off the bed.

 

 

Carol handed me a bowl of what looked to be some sort of stew. I normally wouldn't cook something like this back home but this smelt amazing. Anything food related smelt amazing these days. I took a seat at the table next to T-dog, Daryl seating himself next to me. I was just about to tuck in, I had the spoon to my mouth, mouth open, when Lori spoke, I froze at her words, “To Camille” she said simply, everyone raised their glasses towards me. I felt the blush staining my cheeks. Why did they have to make me centre of attention?

“Um...You guys would have done the same” I said ducking my head. I felt Daryl brush his arm against mine, I wasn't sure if that was deliberate or not.

 

Soon enough the only sounds were everyone devouring the meal in front of us. A few conversations started, I stayed quiet, I didn't feel much like socializing. I was just happy to not have to spend another night in a tree, alone.

 

 

As everyone started to head to bed. I offered once again to stay on watch, Rick and Glenn both gave me stern looks and shook their heads, pointing back towards the house.

“You're allowed a night off” Glenn said laughing quietly.

“Doesn't feel right having a night off” I sighed, kicking the stone near my boot.

“Well even so, you're still taking the night off, promise you can have watch tomorrow night” he said nudging my arm with a chuckle.

I shouldn't be arguing it but I couldn't help it.

I said my good nights and went back inside, heading towards the bedroom I had napped in earlier. The room was only lit by the moon shining outside, giving a soft glow.

 

I was about to head back out to grab my bag when I ran right into Daryl.

“Sorry” I mumbled looking at my feet.

“Should watch where yer' goin'' he said gruffly and then held out my bag towards me, “Thought ya would want this” his voice softer this time.

I looked up to him and smiled, “Thanks...uh, you on watch tonight?” I asked. He nodded and headed back the way he came.

He was still be mad at me, but I think he was finding it hard to stay mad. I smiled to myself. I mean he made the effort to get my bag and bring it to me. Surely that counts for something.

I sighed, I shouldn't be reading into this. Daryl had only kissed me once, and the other time he had bolted when I kissed him. We weren't Glenn and Maggie and I doubt we ever would be. I needed to get past this, whatever this was. It was a distraction and in this world, you can't afford to be distracted. That gets you killed.

 

 

Back in the room I stripped out of all my clothing, grabbing a cleaner top and some clean underwear. Clean underwear felt amazing. I never appreciated them so much. Just wish I could have a hot shower too. Dreams are free I guess.

I curled up in the bed, wrapping the blankets round me. I lay there for a while, my mind still too wired to sleep. I thought back to everything that happened yesterday. The walkers, the running, being on my own. It was different to when I had got separated from the original group before Atlanta. It was hard to explain, that group I had mourned the loss but after I felt stronger on my own. That was one of the reasons why I had avoided finding other people to join up with. I didn't feel like I needed anyone else. My dad's words coming back to me, “ _You're stronger than you think and you have a good head on your shoulders, so stop the self-doubt, gotta keep your head up kiddo.”_ So, all those years I had spent in the woods with him hadn't just been about father-daughter bonding time. I'm sure he hadn't meant for these skills to be used in this way but he would be proud.

 

 

I tried closing my eyes, trying to will myself to sleep. I know I needed it, I hadn't had much the previous night. Damn uncomfortable tree and critters keeping me awake. Finally, my mind started to shut off and I could feel my sleepiness coming back.

_I was standing in the middle of the road. Alone. I whipped my head around, thinking I had heard the noise again. I was hallucinating it, again. I had thought I heard the sound of a motorbike several times today. But every time, nothing followed. I was left in the middle of the road, alone._

_I yelled out in frustration, cursing myself quietly as I did. Noise attracts unwanted things. I was such an idiot sometimes._

_Rustling from several different directions put me on high alert. As I looked around I could see walkers emerging on to the road. I couldn't keep track of how many there were. I started running. The sound of shuffling feet and moans following after me. I reached for my bow, only to find it wasn't there. Where the hell was it? Instead I reached for my machete, smiling that at least I had some sort of a weapon._

_Up ahead two walkers were coming out from the trees and making their way towards me. I gripped the machete tighter, raising it and slashing at one of the walkers, taking its head clean off. The other walker lunging towards me. I stumbled backwards, it grabbing a hold of my arm, gripping painfully tight. With my free hand, I put as much force into smashing the blade through the skull of the walker, its grip still tight and it fell to the ground, pulling me with it. The strong smell of death filling my nostrils. I pulled hard against the hand, prying it from my arm. My arm aching, it was sure to leave bruises at the very least._

_I heard the noise again. I looked back to see a small herd of walkers making their way towards me. A flash of metal passed them, speeding past me, the skidding to a stop not too far from me. My eyes followed the sound and I blinked a few times, unsure if what I was seeing was real. It was Daryl. He was yelling something to me, but I couldn't make it out. I strained my ears to try hear him but all I could hear was the moaning and growling of the fast-approaching walkers. I glanced back to them seeing they were very close, I needed to move now. Pushing myself up off the ground, I pulled the machete free and looked back to Daryl. But he started to fade away, until he was gone and I was left standing there looking at the empty road._

_“Daryl?!” I yelled. I was confused, I had seen him drive past me, stop and yell something to me. He was real, he was there, wasn't he? Had I been hallucinating him this time as well? My mind had been playing tricks on me all day, was this another trick?_

_I took a step forward, only to be pulled back violently, hands and arms grabbing me. I screamed and tried to struggle from their grips but they were too strong and there was too many. My eyes widened in horror as I watched a walker lower its snapping jaws towards my arm. I struggled harder, screaming for help. Pain snapped through me all over my body as I felt teeth tearing into my flesh..._

I woke startled. Sweat covering my body, I looked around, sitting up quickly and feeling my arms for bites marks. Realising I was in a room, I wasn't out on the road like I had dreamed.

 

The door suddenly burst open, Rick standing at the door, gun in hand, Carol and Glenn behind him, all of them looking panicked as they looked round the room for what had made me scream. I took a deep breath, trying to slow my panting.

 

“Sorry I had a nightmare...was far too real” I said trying to shake the images from my head, my breathing still coming out in pants. “I didn't mean to wake you guys” I said feeling bad.

“I heard you scream, didn't know what was goin' on” Rick said coming in and sitting beside me.

“Shit, I'm so sorry, I didn't know I...”

Rick cut me off, placing a hand on mine. “It's ok. Just glad you're ok” he said giving it a squeeze. I sighed loudly.

“Do you need me to stay?” Carol asked quietly from the door way.

“No, no, it’s ok. Just need a few minutes to calm myself and I should be able to get back to sleep.” I said, hoping I didn't sound too ungrateful.

 

We all held our breath when we heard hurried footsteps coming down the hallway. Daryl appearing behind Carol, looking round the room for the disturbance.

“What t'hells goin' on? Heard screamin'? He breathed, his eyes landing on me, eyeing me.

“Bad dream. Didn't mean to wake everyone” I mumbled.

“Bout time I took over for watch anyway” Rick said standing.

“Ok, I'll go wake T-dog” Daryl said before disappearing back down the hallway.

“Sorry again” I said embarrassed.

“Don't worry about it, just get some sleep” he said before he shut the door behind him.

I lay back down on the bed sighing heavily. That nightmare felt far too real. It was one of the only things that really scared me now, eaten alive by walkers. I closed my eyes and tried to get my mind to think of other things, something happy. Thankfully my exhaustion had me falling back asleep in no time.

 

 

I woke in the darkness, hands pulling me closer, I struggled, panicking.

“It's just me” Daryl said in my ear.

“You scared the crap out of me” my breathing still coming out in gasps.

“Sorry” he mumbled pulling away.

“Just reminded me of my nightmare” I said shaking my head again. “Thought you were on watch?”

“Was. T-dog and Rick taken over fer' the night...and I know ya sleep better when I’m 'ere” he said the last part quietly.

He wasn't wrong, I did sleep better when he was there. I can't explain it.

Silence hung between us. I wasn't sure what to say back to him, if I should. I pulled the blankets back up to my chin, closing my eyes and sighing quietly.

I could feel him moving around on the bed beside me. Even though we had slept next to each other for quite a few nights, he still sounded uncomfortable lying next to me. He was probably afraid I was going to jump him or want to cuddle. Sure, I'd thought about doing both at one time or another, but going through with either wasn't going to happen. I certainly wasn't about to make the first move with him and still trying to put some distance between us.

And I was sure he was still angry with me. So, doing either of those would infuriate him even more. I didn't need to have him offside again. It had almost broken me last time.

 

I took another deep breath before I spoke, “How long are ya going to be mad at me?”

He huffed loudly. “Well if ya stop doin' reckless and stupid stuff then I wouldn't 'ave ta be mad at ya” he sighed, repeating my words from earlier.

“Can't ya just be happy that I'm ok?” I said furrowing my brows.

He grumbled something inaudible to himself before rolling over, his back to me. I too rolled over on to my side, away from Daryl, closing my eyes.

 

Flashes from the nightmare popping into my head, the one image that I focussed on was Daryl disappearing. My body shivering at the thought. I felt him shift again. I froze and tried to focus on my breathing. I could feel my weariness coming back and I started to relax.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So grumpy/angry Daryl was back for a bit this chapter. I know there were some of you that hoped he was gonna kiss her since he found her but I felt like he wouldn't go there straight away, anger would be one of his first emotions. What do you guys think?  
> And I like that Carol was bit friendlier this chapter too.  
> Comment! Review! Kudos!


	22. A Bad Day Out

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for the Kudos on last chapter! Still amazes me that people are still reading it!!  
> So there's quite a bit to cover in this next chapter, hope everyone is enjoying it so far.  
> Couldn't resist updating, quite like how this chapter turned out.

I woke groggily the next morning, not surprised I woke alone. The space next to me was cold, he had been gone a while. He either didn't want people to ask questions to why he was sleeping in the same room as me or he was still angry or he too was trying to distance himself from me. I was sure it was a mixture of all three. It was exhausting trying to figure out what was going on between us. If there was anything. This is where I start to over analyse the situation, again. I wish he would pick one way or another so I can just know, put my mind at ease. I don't know if he even realised he had my mind in such a spin

But he was right about me sleeping better when he was there. No nightmares. I wouldn't mention it to him as he would be very smug about being right.

 

I groaned loudly as I rolled over to lay on my back, looking up at the ceiling. I hated mornings. I never was a morning person, was always a night owl. Didn't matter if I had work the next morning, I would stay awake to some ridiculous hour, have a few hours’ sleep then arrive grumpy at work. Now instead of work it was walkers. At least now I can take my grumpiness out on the walkers, as killing a co-worker was pretty frowned upon. That made me smile, a simple stupid joke that only I would find funny.

 

I pulled the blankets back and pushed myself out of bed. The morning air almost making me want to get back into bed. I grabbed my clothes, getting dressed and then laced up my boots. I packed my bag up and grabbed my bow and machete on the way out.

 

 

It sounded like mostly everyone was up and I once again was the last one to emerge. I wondered how late they had let me sleep today. I hoped it wasn't the afternoon, that hadn't worked out too well last time. I shuddered at the memory.

 

Lori was at the table with Carl with a book in front of him. Must be his school work again. Poor kid. Surely maths problems could take a back seat for now. But he wasn't my kid, so I wasn't about to tell her how to raise him. She would go all mother-hen on me and chew me out about it. So, I kept those opinions to myself.

“Morning” I smiled.

“Morning. Not long missed breakfast. We saved you some porridge” she said pointing to the counter. I smiled and helped myself, sitting opposite from Carl.

“So, what's the homework today kid?” I ask before taking a mouthful of porridge.

He sighs before looking up. “Algebra” he says frowning.

Maths, just as I thought. I remember having the same look with that subject at his age. “It may not seem important now but trust me, you'll use it more than ya think later on” I say giving him a wink. He smiled before ducking his head and staring intently at the book again. Lori smiled warmly at me, with a look that say thank you I think. It may have been a little bit of a lie, I couldn't see much use for algebra at the end of the world. Surely weapon training would be more educational nowadays? And again, this is where I keep my mouth shut.

 

I finished my breakfast and quickly rinsing out the bowl, leaving it on the dish rack to dry. I picked up my bow from the back of the chair, slinging it over my shoulder and headed outside. It was overcast today, a slight chill in the air from the wind, letting us know winter was on its way. Just another day in the apocalypse.

 

 

Rick, Daryl, Maggie and Hershel were engaged in conversation standing at the truck, backs turned to me. I decided to hang back, waiting till they had finished, as wasn't sure if I should be interrupting. Lately I had been wrong when I had decided to speak up. Mostly it was Rick who had the problem when I spoke, even if we were on better terms now. I know it was stupid and possibly childish and after what I had done for them a few days prior, surely, I had to be more in the inner circle now. Maybe that was a feeling that may never pass, maybe it was something I just needed to get over. But having felt excluded several days prior, it was still fresh in my mind and something that would probably take some time.

So, I waited there waiting to be called forth.

 

While sitting there I wondered where Glenn, T-dog and Carol were, I hadn't seen them when I was inside. Maybe making a run? Looking round the yard I noticed something, in the far corner near one of the overgrown bushes, it was a pile of several dead walkers. I frowned, had they been there yesterday?

I was getting bored sitting here doing nothing. The four at the truck seemed to be very consumed by what they were talking about. I guessed it was where we were going next.

I hoped we could find somewhere to stay at least for a few weeks. The likelihood of that happening was slim but it was draining moving day after day. Not to mention it was putting a strain on our fuel supplies. We needed a break from being constantly on the move, even just for a few days.

 

I took my bow off my shoulder, placing it on my knee. I examined it for any damage that I may have done over the last few days. Having to use it as a weapon several times while I was running. Looking at it closely, it seemed to be intact, no cracks in the limbs or grip, cables and string were still strong, but they would need replacing in the future, with all the wear they're getting at the moment. Never had this much use back home, but back home it was _**a** _ deer, not hundreds of walkers.

 

 

“Heard ya last night....ya not sleeping too well?” Maggie asked, who was now standing in front of me. I hadn't even heard her approach. I needed to stop tuning out like that, moves like that would get me killed.

“Um yeah. Had a nightmare. Sorry I woke you too. Seems I woke the whole house” I said biting my lip.

“No worries. Had us a bit worried. Screams like that in the middle of the night, you expect the worst. I'm glad it wasn't. Ya know ya can talk to me, if that would help” she smiled, squeezing my shoulder as she walked back inside. Glenn following in after her, nodding to me as he walked past.

 

Daryl was standing at the truck, scowling my way for a few seconds before turning back to Rick. Great, so he's still pissed at me. Rick seemingly caught onto Daryl's mood and turned my way, waving me over before turning back to Daryl, saying something to him. I was out of earshot and couldn't hear what he said to Daryl, who had now grabbed his crossbow from the hood of the truck and was stalking back inside, not bothering to look at me as he passed. So, he was angry. Great.

Rick of course was all smiles.

“How ya feelin' today?” he asked.

“Fine. Got back to sleep. I'm ok for whatever is planned today” I said straightening up a bit.

“Good. We're gonna move out today and find somewhere else to stay. Had a few walkers come by last night after...” he looked to me, my face dropped. So, because I was screaming after my nightmare I attracted walkers. The walkers that were piled up on the edge of the yard. Which in turn, had put our group at risk. I could feel the guilt rolling in. I felt more trouble than I was worth sometimes, now was one of those times.

“Shit, I'm so sorry Rick...I really screwed up” I mumbled still looking at my feet.

“You didn't do it on purpose Camille. Its fine, really. We just gotta be careful and I hadn't planned on staying here for more than a night or two. So just to be safe we're going to scavenge a town not too far from here, then find some where to hold up for the night.”

“Ok, one thing though. Can I ride with in the Cherokee today? Daryl's still fuming at me for my stupid stunt, as he's calling it...” I asked. I thought it would be better if I stayed out of his way for the next few days. Let him simmer down.

“Yeah, I noticed that too” he said looking back to the house, “Should be fine. Just ask Carol if you can swap. Go grab your stuff, we're heading out soon” he said turning his attention back to the map dismissing me.

 

I could see how happy this would make Carol and that thought alone was putting me off from asking her. But I wasn't doing it for her, as much as she might like to think. I went to search for her, going back to the house.

“Carol?” I called.

She emerged from the kitchen, holding a box. “Morning” she greeted with a smile.

“Can you ride with Daryl today?” I ask hesitantly.

She quirked an eyebrow at me. “You sure?” she said confused. Not the response or reaction I was expecting. I thought she would be smug and thrilled that I was giving up my seat on the bike.

I nodded my head. “Yeah, he's still pretty pissed about me being bait the other day. Just think it’s safer if I stay away”

“You know he'll be in more of a mood now” she said smirking.

“Oh, I know. He's just needs a few days to calm down I think and if I'm around that won't happen. Please it would be a big help.” I pleaded, forcing a smile.

She smiled warmly back. “Sure”

“Thank you” I replied, before heading to the room I had stayed in last night. That had gone better than I expected.

 

Opening the door, Daryl was sitting on the bed packing his bag. I cursed myself silently. So much for trying to avoid him. He didn't even look up when I entered. I could feel the prickliness throughout the entire room.

I bit my lip nervously before reaching for my bag. I needed to tell him at least, so he wouldn't take his anger out on Carol when she rocked up to his bike all smiles.

“Carol's riding with you today. Cleared it with Rick” I said quickly, not moving my eyes from my bag. “Just thought it would be easier...” I trail off.

“Easier how?” he says gruffly, the anger practically vibrating from him.

“Well you're clearly still pissed at me, so riding with me behind you isn't going to help you be less angry with me...ya know give you some breathing room?” I say clutching my bag tighter. I was waiting for the yelling or the mumbled derogatory comments, he knows I can hear.

I wait and nothing.

He finally moves, moving around me, mumbling angrily “Fine whatever.”

Ok so that could have gone a lot worse. I wasn't trying to make him angrier but I knew it was for the best. Much to his annoyance.

This was going to be a long day. I could just feel it.

 

 

Grabbing my bag, I gave one last look round the room before heading out to the truck. I placed my bag in the back and started walking back to the house to see what else needed to be carried out and grab my bow, which was still sitting on the seat on the porch.

 

I had just got to the door when Rick came out, giving me a nod as I walked past, T-dog following behind him, both walking to the vehicles.

“Let's move out” he said, everyone started moving towards the vehicles.

I had just gone up the steps and was reaching for my bow when I thought I saw movement ahead of me. I glanced up to see two walkers coming out from the side of the house. I grabbed my bow, reaching for a bolt, lined up the shot and watched as the walker dropped.

Suddenly I heard Carl scream “Walkers!” and then there was small group of them coming from around the side of house, too many to take down with them being so close.

Things started to get chaotic now, shots being fired, people yelling, it was bedlam.

“Get to the vehicles now!” Rick yelled in between firing shots.

I needed to move now or I would be trapped and there was no way in hell I was going to be left behind again. The walkers were starting to advance quicker, everyone was starting to move frantically. My gap to safety was getting smaller by the second.

I watched as I saw the Prius drive off, then the Cherokee and then Daryl's bike.

_You've got to be kidding me?_

 

One walker saw me and made a beeline for me, I smashed its face with the end of my bow. I grimaced at that, it wasn't the smell, although that would bother me later too. I grumbled as I was going to need to check my bow again later. I would be so pissed if my bow was damaged because of that walker's skull. The walker had fallen but wasn't dead, it was trying to push itself up again. I continued running towards the dust that was created by the vehicles leaving, slinging my bow over my shoulder. Did they even know they had left me? I couldn't do another marathon like the other day. I had barely recovered from last time.

I could hear Daryl's bike again I was sure of it and then suddenly he was in front of me, looking back to me with an annoyed look. I think it was more “hurry the fuck up”. And it wasn't like I was taking a leisurely stroll, I was running. Just not fast enough apparently. He revved the engine as I threw my leg over and wrapped my arms around his waist tight before we sped off down the driveway. I slumped against his back, breathing heavily.

 

The group were waiting about a mile down the road, we slowed down as we approached. I loosened my grip on Daryl, pushing myself back a little, knowing he was probably uncomfortable enough with me clinging to him. We pulled up beside the Cherokee, Rick smiling and a little relieved.

“Sorry” I mouthed. He just gave me a small nod.

“Daryl you're on point” Rick said to him. Daryl nodded in acknowledgement before we were speeding away again.

So much for trying to give him space.

 

 

We had only been riding fifteen minutes before I started to feel stiff, I tried to stretch a little, causing Daryl to look over his shoulder at me. It wasn't a look of annoyance, just one that said _what are you doing?_ I tried to settle myself but my body was all tense and my left hand was cramping for some strange reason. I removed my hand from his side trying to stretch it out, crack my knuckles for few a few seconds. It seemed to help. I froze when I felt Daryl's hand on mine, seemingly knowing what was going on and started massaging the back of my hand. It was so unexpected from him but I couldn't deny it felt good. He moved his thumb back and forth over the top of my hand and gripping it from underneath, then rubbing my palm with his fingers. I closed my eyes and just concentrated on his movements, feeling far too relaxed. It was melting away all the tension and pain I had before, all just from him rubbing my hand.

Soon enough he stopped, placing my hand back on his waist, I squeezed his hand quickly before he let go. A silent thank you.

 

 

We rode for another thirty minutes before we reached the town. “Welcome to...” the sign read, the town name had since been ripped off. We passed a few houses and were approaching the main street up ahead. The town seemed to be very small, only about a dozen shops. And deserted by the looks of it, no sign of walkers or people. We parked on the main street, killing the engines. Daryl's lip twitched into the smallest of smiles when I got off the bike, looking my way for the briefest of glances. I was still trying to determine his mood. So maybe his anger for me had gone and my plan for trying to give him space hadn't exactly worked. But maybe it was for the better, for now. I took the bow and quiver off my shoulder and leant it up against his bike. It would be too bulky searching the store and the space too crowded to get a decent shot off. Daryl fished round in his bag, till he pulled out my Baretta, holding it out to me.

“Nah, it'll make too much noise. Got my machete, that'll be enough. And pocket knife is in my boot” I reply. He looked at me for a few seconds before he nodded and tucked it into the back of his jeans behind his vest.

 

We all gathered round the Cherokee, Carol smirking my way, seeing I had ridden with Daryl. Rick was assessing the situation, looking from store to store, before he spoke.

“We go in groups of two, no guns unless it’s absolutely necessary, need to keep it as quiet as possible. Glenn, Daryl go check the grocery store. Maggie, Camille, see if there's anything worth taking in the clothing store, we'll need warmer stuff for winter. Hershel and I will take the pharmacy. Everyone else stay alert. T-dog keep track of everyone.” Rick stated looking at each of the pairs. Both Glenn and Daryl looked to Rick when he said about me and Maggie going to check the clothing store. A look that said _Are you crazy?_ Or _You can't let them go on their own...they're girls._ Maggie and I were both rolling our eyes. We were both more than capable at handling ourselves against walkers.

 

Glenn gave Maggie a quick kiss and whispering something in her ear, she smiled in return. Daryl just nodded once to me, then gave Glenn a look, like he wanted him to hurry up.

 

 

I took out my machete and looked up and down the street. Silence. Maggie stepped beside me and nodded. We headed towards the store, it was a few stores down. Passing a diner and a shoe store.

We stood at the door, there looked to be a few skylights through the building illuminating the store. We each wiped the dust away from the window and peered in, it seems to be vacant and intact. By the looks if it didn't seem to have been raided too bad. I put my hand on the door handle and Maggie stopped me. She knocked on the window and mouthed “wait”. We waited a minute before entering. A lone walker was stumbling down the aisle towards us. It growled noticing us walk through the door. I peered up over the aisles looking for more movement.

“Looks to be the only one” I whispered. Maggie nodded. I stepped in beside her and we waited for the walker to approach us. We easily took it down, both grinning at each other.

 

We silently walked down the aisles looking for more walkers but only came across two already dead ones. I stabbed each in the head just in case. There was also a room in the back of the store. I tested the door handle but it was locked. I didn't hear movement inside. So, we both figured we would leave that room for now, maybe check it out later.

 

“Let's go shopping!” Maggie grinned.

We both started grabbing clothing, not much, but stuff that would be better for winter. It was amazing that there was still so much left. It wasn't untouched, people had come in and taken stuff but there was more than enough left. I even found some flannel shirts for Daryl, although I was sure the sleeves would magically fall off. Maggie chuckled when I stuffed them into the bag, I shook my head at her, smiling.

Over in the women's section we were both found stuff for the ladies, nothing fancy. I also grabbed a bunch of clean underwear, I knew the girls would be very happy about that. I picked up a bra in my size, quickly getting rid of the hanger. My hand glided over a top, I had an idea. Grabbing it I looked over my shoulder at Maggie and then quickly around the store. I didn't want Daryl walking in on this, he would never let me live it down or berate me on the matter.

“Keep an eye out” I said, Maggie raised an eyebrow at me, then I stripped my hoody. “Need to change a few things” I smiled. She chuckled and continued looking round the store. I quickly stripped off my shirt and bra and put on the new clothes. “How do I look?” I said taking a spin. Maggie just shook her head and chuckled.

“Ya know that's not actually a bad idea, you keep an eye out while I change?” she asked.

“Sure thing” I said. I left the dirty clothes on the floor, I wasn't going to need them anymore. I picked up one of the hoodys I had found and put it on. I scanned the store, still no movement, other than Maggie behind me. A minute later she was done. Both of us satisfied with our new attire.

“Let's get back before Daryl and Glenn come storming in here all panicked” I laugh. We grabbed the bags and headed towards the front of the store.

 

 

Both of us froze when we heard movement behind us. I was about to drop the bags I was carrying and go for my machete, then I heard the unmistakable sound of two guns being cocked closely behind us. The sound of heavier boots came from further behind the two people holding the guns to our heads.

“Well look what we have here” a deep voice slurred from behind us, “Seems like we got ourselves a couple of thief’s boys”

“We certainly enjoyed the little show you just put on for us” the man behind me said pressing the barrel of the gun firmly against my head.

“Oh, yeah we did, would definitely like to see more. Couldn't too much where we was” another man groaned, with a little too much enthusiasm.

“We don't want any trouble” I said trying to keep my voice straight and not show the fear that was threatening to bubble over inside me.

“Well you wandered into _our_ town, so that was your first mistake. And your second mistake was taking shit that don't belong to you” the man who seemed to be the leader threatened. “Then you proceed to get undressed...seems like ya wanted to be caught” he smirked.

“Our group was just passing through, just looking for supplies. Just let us go and we'll be on our way. Won't stop in your town again” I tried to reason.

“We'll leave it all, just let us go and we'll be on our way” Maggie said calmly beside me.

“How about you put those bags down and if you play by our rules, we'll let you live” the leader said, his voice dripping with lies. I didn't like where this was heading. “Take their weapons” he ordered.

“Look our group will come looking for us soon when we don't return” I said trying to persuade them.

I felt a sweaty man push himself against me, the gun still to the back of my head as he reached to unsheathe my machete, his hand lingering far too long on my hip as he reached for it.

“We'll all be long gone before yer' group even knows yer' missin” he sneered in my ear.

I could hear Maggie's discomfort beside me as she struggled against her captor. I heard them throw both of our weapons away, them clattering loudly to the floor.

“I say we just take 'em and they can serve as entertainment tonight? The boys have been pretty restless lately...And after the show these two put on just now, they'll do” the man behind Maggie said. I swallowed nervously.

I was screaming in my head for Daryl or Glenn or Rick or someone to just burst through the doors. Three against two weren't good odds, especially now we were without any weapons.

“Mmm...I agree with Dan and this one looks feisty” he said running his hand over my lower back then grabbing my ass, making me jump.

“Get your fucking hand off me” I spat. Hoping I was loud enough that one of our group had heard me.

“Fuckin' told ya she was feisty!” he roared with laughter.

“Tie 'em up and gag them, don't want them alerting the rest of their group” the leader ordered again.

 

My heart was pounding now, as I'm sure Maggie's was too. I turned ever so slightly to see the look of horror on her face as we both looked at each other.

I felt my hands being clamped together and tied in place behind my back, with what I think was a zip tie. Then something that acted like a gag, pulled against my mouth, until it was wedged between my teeth and was tied behind my head. It would muffle any screams either Maggie or I made. I tested the restraints ever so slightly, only to find that were indeed secure. How the hell were we going to Houdini our way out of this mess?

I was trying to rack my brain for ways to escape but it was hard with the fear blocking anything rational thought. My mind was only thinking of the worst scenarios. Every plan I thought of all ended badly.

 

“Let's get back to the truck, go back the way we came in, so we don't run into their group” the leader ordered.

“You try anything and she gets it” the man behind me threatened in my ear, pushing himself against me once again. The cold metal of the barrel pushed against my head.

No fucking way they were going to take us. I'm not going to be a victim or entertainment as they had called it and neither was Maggie. We were going to get out of this....some how. The how was the part that I was stuck on.

 _Damn it where the hell is Daryl?_ I mentally screamed. I looked to the front entrance, hoping Daryl or someone from our group would appear. But it was empty.

 

They turned us around and now we were facing the three men who had taken us captive. Dirty clothes, hadn't bathed in weeks by the smell of them, the hunting types by the looks of it. But I guess there were more hunters left in this world. Their eyes lingering far too long as they looked us over, Dan licking his lips as his eyes flicked between Maggie and I, making me cringe on the inside.

The two men still had the guns pointed at us. Now being faced with the barrel of the gun, any plans I had for escape were gone. The reality of the situation was literally staring me in the face.

 

The men both stepped beside us shoving us forward as they stood behind us again. “Move” they both growled at us. Maggie almost tripping as Dan pushed her forward. She tried to move into one of the aisles away from the men only to be roughly grabbed by the arm. The man behind me digging his nails into my flesh as he gripped harder, cautioning me not to make the same move, watching Maggie try to flee. She was forcibly dragged back, her too struggling against the bindings with not much luck, her screams muffled by the gag.

“Better teach her friend what happens when you disobey us...Craig?” the leader said sneering looking to Maggie then in my direction. The blood drained from my face, fearing what was going to happen next, my eyes darting round. I was turned to face the man named Craig, a sick look on his face, he raised his gun and then using it to smack me across the jaw, sending a jolt of pain through me as I stumbled back a few steps. The taste of blood pooling in my mouth, seeping into the gag and starting to run down my chin. I was sure my lip was split and there would be a good bruise later.

Craig roughly pulled me back towards him, the gun placed firmly back against my head.

“Don't rough 'er up too much or she'll be no fun later” Dan gruffly said.

I got a quick glance at Maggie to my left, her eyes watching me, fear clearly in her eyes too. I gave her a small nod just to let her know I was ok. I know Maggie hadn't expected them to take it out on me and honestly neither did I. It didn't anger me that she had tried to escape, hell I had half a mind to try something myself, but now knowing they would take it out on Maggie I couldn't bring myself to do anything. At least not while we were both defenceless.

 

The leader led the way in front of us, his back turned as he walked further into the store heading towards the back door.

I struggled against my bindings again, only to stop when I felt the barrel being pushed harder against my head.

“Won't warn ya again” Craig snarled quietly behind me.

I let my arms fall limp again, not testing the bindings further, almost defeated.

 

As we walked further and further towards the back of the store, I was feeling my hope slip further away. I could see the open back door up ahead, the daylight illuminating the area behind the counter.

 

We all froze when a bolt was suddenly plunging through the leader's head, his lifeless body slumping to the ground loudly, blood starting to pool around his head.

“What the fuck?” Dan slurred confused.

Craig roughly grabbed me by the throat, his fingers digging up under my jaw, swinging me around, using me as a shield as I faced Daryl, pushing the barrel hard against my forehead. Dan doing the same to Maggie. I could see the fury coming from Daryl as he looked between Maggie and me. He had abandoned his crossbow on the floor and had my Baretta pointed towards the men holding us captive.

“Take another step redneck and they both die” Craig sneered behind me, I could smell his terrible breath as he spoke every word.

“Let 'em go!” he growled.

“You think you can take us both on? Both of 'em will die before you even get close with a shot” Dan spat. I could hear Maggie whimpering beside me as he clutched her tighter.

 

Daryl just smirked. _What the fuck?_

“The fuck you smirkin' at re...” Dan sneered, only to be cut off.

Suddenly Dan fell to the ground, a knife sticking into his skull. Maggie falling away from the body, the gun limply dropping from Dan's hand to the ground. Craig held my neck tighter, making me cough against the gag. He started pulling me back into the aisle away from Daryl and away from his now two dead friends. He was starting to panic. I just hoped his panic didn't make him pull the trigger by accident.

I then saw Rick approaching to where he had stuck a knife into Dan.

“You're surrounded” Rick called, his inner cop coming out. He even approached the situation like a cop. This was the Rick I liked, he was in his element when he went into cop-mode.

 

My eyes darting round the store, flicking to Daryl, who was closing in from the front and Rick coming towards us slowly, trying not to startle Craig. Glenn was crouched next to Maggie, protecting her, but looking my way, his rifle clutched tightly in his hands. I still wasn't out of the woods just yet.

The barrel of the gun was pressed hard against my temple and his grip on my throat was getting tighter. _Don't panic_ , I kept thinking to myself.

“I swear I'll fuckin' kill 'er if you step any closer!” Craig barked towards the advancing men. I saw Rick briefly glance a Daryl, who had his eyes fixed on me, weapon still pointed. I didn't know if Rick would be able to get through to him right now.

It was taking everything not to fight and struggle. I wanted to whip my head back and head-butt him or give him a swift kick to his groin. Instead I did nothing, the gun pressed against my temple had me frozen, warning me not to fight back and it was killing me.

 

He was starting to back up towards the rear door again, weaving through the aisles, pulling me along roughly with him. The others still following us at a distance, weapons still pointed towards me. I tried struggling again against the bindings, the grip on my neck becoming so tight it started to block my airway, my eyes watering a little. I immediately stopped, my head becoming dizzy from the lack of oxygen.

“Stop fuckin' strugglin' bitch. You can do plenty of that later” he growled in my ear, releasing his grip ever so slightly. I coughed against the gag getting some air back into my lungs, the taste of blood still fresh in my mouth. Daryl had heard the comment and started advancing again, his anger now driving him. I looked to him, trying to silently tell him he needed to control himself.

 

We were almost at the door now. I looked to Daryl, the fear clearly in my eyes now, a few tears running down my cheek. The look on Daryl's face was murderous as he kept the gun raised. I knew he wanted nothing better than to shoot this asshole but I was in the way. That was the only reason I'm sure he hadn't shot.

“Say goodbye to yer' boyfriend” he snarled in my ear before we stepped backwards through the rear door, the daylight temporarily stunning me. Rick and Daryl disappearing from my sight.

 

Then everything happened in a flash. Craig stumbled backwards pulling me with him, then we were falling to the ground, the barrel of the gun shifting slightly away from my temple.

 

**Bang! Bang!**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So bit of a cliff hanger.... please don't hate me!  
> Daryl and Camille had a bit of a cute moment I thought on the bike, he seems to be warming up to her ;o) Although angry Daryl is cute too I reckon! Lol  
> Love to hear reviews guys!!!!


	23. Magnet

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry it a while to update, has been a bit of mental week. Crazy incident at work which shut us down for several days.  
> Thanks to Debbief722 always appreciate your comments!!!!  
> I liked how this chapter turned out, there's alot to this chapter so hope you guys enjoy!!!!

**_Bang! Bang!_ **

Two shots sounded, going off right beside my ear, effectively stunning me, throwing off my equilibrium, my hearing and my vision. I couldn't feel any pain, so I was sure I hadn't been hit, unless all the adrenaline was blocking the pain for now. The grip on my throat tightened for a few seconds before his hand fell limp around my throat. I gasped against the gag. All I could hear was a loud constant ringing in my ears. As I tried to open my eyes, I had to shut them immediately, my vision too blurry, I could only make out fuzzy shapes, nothing definitive. Everything around me was spinning slightly, this felt worse than a hangover. I felt the dead weight of what I assumed was Craig under me. He was still underneath me, his hand still resting on my neck. I groaned, the noise sounding weird in my head, the gag still muffling my voice and breathing, the ties were digging into my skin as they were still trapped under my body and being pushed uncomfortably into the concrete.

 

I felt hands on my arm and shoulders, a hand on my cheek, the gag being untied and taken out of my mouth. Someone wiping the blood away from my mouth.

“Daryl?...Rick?” I groaned, my voice distant. I hoped it was them. I still wasn't completely sure it was them, they were still blobs in my vision. But I was sure that if it was anyone from Craig or Dan's group, they wouldn't have been so gentle.

 

Muffled voices talked around me, the ringing in my ears still too loud to focus on the conversation. It was frustrating.

“mm fine” I muttered, my voice sounding distorted in my head, hoping I could let them know that I was ok, as I couldn't understand if there were questions being directed at me or not.

“Gun...ears...can't focus” I mumbled. My voice becoming clearer in my head. _That's a good sign._

The voices around me were still muffled. I felt them pull me up so I was sitting, the binds being cut around my wrists. I clenched my fists as I bought them in front of me, rubbing at my wrists.

Everything was still spinning. I became slightly aware when they started to pull me to my feet. I was very unsteady, arms on either side of me holding me in place, my arms were slung around two sets of shoulders, holding me upright. I tried to open my eyes again, it didn't hurt as much as it did last time, but everything was still unsteady. I could make out T-dog in front of me as they started pulling me forward, my body starting to cooperate a little but my feet were still dragging a bit. I looked to my left to see Daryl there. All his anger from before gone as he glanced down at me.

“Get her to Hershel. We need to leave now” Rick said to my right. The voices now starting to become a little clearer. The ringing still present though.

 

We were now out in front of the store. I could make out walkers approaching in the distance. The gunshots must have attracted them.

 

I was placed in one of the vehicles, and soon enough we were speeding away. Hershel beside me, trying to get me to focus as he checked me over.

It took about ten minutes before the ringing had dulled down and my balance was feeling better. The world no longer seemed like it was drunk.

I groaned as I opened my eyes again.

“How are you feeling?” Hershel said beside. Maggie turned in her seat, looking back at me. I couldn't help the smile that spread across my face to see she was ok.

“Ok I think, ringing has almost stopped” I said quietly. “Are we all safe?” I ask.

Maggie nodded from the front.

“Everyone's safe” Hershel said squeezing my arm slightly.

“Guess we aren't allowed to go shopping any more” I snorted, forcing a smile.

Maggie flashed a quick smile before looking to Glenn.

“Sorry Glenn. I swear we checked the place...there was a back room that was locked, knocked and had no answer and the back door was shut too. 'M sorry I screwed up” I said looking at him as he looked back at me in the rear-view mirror.

He nodded once and forced a smile.

I rested my head back against the seat and let my head try to readjust. I wiped my mouth, feeling blood on my chin. I frowned seeing the marks on my wrists, cut up a bit from the bindings. It made me feel weak.

 

 

We drove for a while, I wasn't sure how long, my brain only just starting to clear of the fog. Finally coming to a stop outside a row of houses.

Daryl appearing suddenly at my door, opening it.

“You ok?” he asked, looking me over, avoiding looking to my eyes, his thumb running over my bruised chin and split lip.

“Yeah” I breathed out. And it wasn't a lie, I did feel much better than before.

The rest of the group starting to gather round the car behind Daryl, looking on to assess the damage I had caused I assumed. He felt the eyes looking his way and he dropped his hand but didn't move from where he was standing.

 

“Let's clear this house and get settled for the night” Rick called.

Daryl now looked me in the eyes before he turned away, crossbow at the ready, T-dog going with them. I turned myself around and pushed myself off the seat and along side the car, leaning up against it. Making sure I had all my balance before I started walking. Maggie coming to stand beside me, grabbing hold of my hand.

“I'm sorry” she whispered to me.

I turned to her confused, “For what? You don't need to be sorry. I mean it” I said in all seriousness.

“I shouldn't have tried to run”

“Yes, you should have. I'm not mad. So, stop feeling guilty, ok?” I said squeezing her hand.

She forced a smile. She felt guilty and she shouldn't feel that at all. I wasn't mad or upset with her. I was madder at myself for not doing anything.

Carol came to stand on the other side of me, handing me my bow and quiver. I had wondered where they had gotten to, as I had left it leaning up against Daryl's bike. “He's not gonna let you out of his sight now” she smirked quietly to me.

Maggie let out a chuckle.

I sighed. “Guess you're right. So much for giving him some space...Did you guys grab the bags at the store. We found some more warm clothes for winter” I asked.

“Yeah me and Glenn grabbed them on the way out and our weapons and theirs too” Maggie replied.

“Good, one less thing to search for now” I mumbled.

I turned to Maggie “Are you ok?” I ask. It had only just occurred to me now that I hadn't asked. She nodded and I smiled. “Good” I replied.

 

 

Soon after Rick, Daryl and T-dog returned, telling us it was safe to move inside and shift the vehicles closer. Daryl's eyes never leaving me as I moved from the car towards the house. Yeah, he was never going to let me go out on my own again. I also guessed I wouldn't be on watch tonight, not that it would stop me from offering. It had been several days since I last did it. And I was feeling fine now, my jaw ached a little, but nothing I couldn't handle.

Everyone had walked ahead of me, I was still a little slow on my feet, Daryl watching me for a moment before turning into the house

 

The house was quite small with only one bedroom by the looks of it. We were going to be cramped. But taking a glimpse at the state of the other houses surrounding us, this was the best one. It looked like they had been abandoned well before all of this, over-grown gardens, missing windows, collapsed roofs. At least this would keep us dry and warm hopefully for the night. I doubt we would stay on longer at this house. With eleven people, we needed a little more space if we were to stay longer than one night. Most of us were going to be crammed into the front room. It wasn't going to be pleasant. Oh, how I was missing personal space.

 

As everyone moved inside, I took a seat on a bench just outside the house under one of the trees. I sighed loudly, taking my bow off my shoulder. It looked no worse for wear since earlier today. I leant it up against my knee, my mind thinking back to today events. This really had been a long day and not for the reasons I had originally thought.

I was still a little angry at myself for not having checked that back room properly or making sure the back door was locked. We had been jumped and that was on me.

 

 

I couldn't have been out there for more than five minutes before Daryl came storming outside. Frantically looking round the yard until he spied me. Looking a little relieved when he saw me sitting there. His unreadable mask slipping back on as he walked over to me. I had been waiting for this. Honestly thought it would have taken less time for him to notice. I wasn't trying to make him worry. Just needed a minute to collect my thoughts, try work out some of the guilt I was feeling.

“What th'hell ya doin' out here?” he growled.

He sat down next to me, sighing before he looked at me.

I raised my hand to stop him speaking. “Daryl, I don't need to be yelled at. I honestly did check out the place before we started grabbing clothes. There was a back room, it was locked, so I knocked and heard nothing, back door was shut too. So, we thought we were clear...Just as we were leaving, they snuck up behind us, guns pointed to our heads...But I get it, I fucked up...again...” I mumbled out the last word looking at my hands, holding my breath. Waiting for the fury.

“Ya didn't fuck up. Yer' a magnet fer trouble though” he huffed loudly.

“What?” I turned to him confused “You're not going to yell at me?” I ask.

He rolled his eyes at me. “Wasn't angry at ya, was angry at those fuckers who tried to take ya. Should 'ave gone with ya” he said quieter looking out to the road.

“And who would have saved my ass if you had been with me?” I countered. “They had a group” I said flatly “The other one...is he dead? Cos' I don't want them coming after us. They were a bad bunch, were ready to take us back as entertainment as they called it” I said clenching my fist, I noticed Daryl beside me visibly harden hearing this. “How did you know?” I ask.

“Had a feelin' somethin' weren't right, saw a fresh kill in the place Glenn and I checked out” he said taking a deep breath. I saw his lips twitch before he looked at me, his face becoming serious again. Ok so here was the other talk I was expecting.

“Ya gotta be more careful Camille.” _Ok still not what I was expecting him to say._

“I know, like ya said I'm a magnet for this shit” I said glumly. I was glad he took my Baretta after all. Maybe something inside me knew he would need it more than me today.

 

He stayed silent after that. I wasn't really in a mood to rehash all the events from today but I did need to clarify something.

“At the house today when the walkers came, you know I wasn't trying to sacrifice myself again, right? Was just my impeccably shit timing and no way in hell I was leaving my bow behind.”

He nodded in acknowledgement. “C'mon let's get inside” he said standing and waiting for me to follow. I grabbed my bow, shouldering it and following close behind up to the house.

 

I just about walked into him as he abruptly stopped in front of the door, spinning round in front of me. A look on his face I couldn't quite determine. His pursed his lips. I was just about to ask what was going on when he rushed forward pressing his lips to mine, his kiss filled with urgency and something else. His hand weaving into my hair pulling me further into the kiss, his lips pressed hard against mine. It was like he needed it, to know I was ok, that I was still here, that he hadn't lost me.

His tongue swiping over the cut on my lip, the action causing a small moan to escape my lips, the faintest metallic taste on the tip of his tongue.

And as quickly as it started, he pulled away, our breathing the only sound I could hear now. My eyes flickered up to his, a mixture of shock and arousal on my face. I bit my lower lip, it stung a little as I felt the cut on my lip. His gaze flicking to my lips, causing the blush creeping over my cheeks. He smirked before he motioned his head to go inside. So, without questioning him I walked inside, Daryl following after me.

 

 

Everyone was seated round the room. Lori, Carol and Hershel only missing from the room. I assumed it had to be something to do with the baby. Maggie raised an eyebrow at me as I entered, I flashed her a quick smile. It was like she could sense something had happened. I wondered how she would react if I told her he kissed me...again. Hadn't even told her about the first one yet. I could imagine her eye's bugging out of her head and wanting every single detail if I told her. Maybe I would confess in a few days if we got some alone time and when things weren't so crazy.

 

There was some space against the wall in the corner, so I made my way over, taking a seat on the ground, Daryl seating himself beside me. Everyone was quiet. It had been a long day, for some though it had been longer. I looked to Maggie across the room and smiled. I was glad we had both made it out of today, reasonably intact. It could have turned out so differently if Daryl hadn't come along to check up on us. And maybe he was right, I really was a magnet for this shit.

 

 

I lay awake unable to sleep. I don't remember when I fell asleep but I woke to hear several soft snores from around the room. A thick blanket had been placed over me at some point. It was pitch black in the room, I couldn't see anything or anyone in front of me. We were quite crammed into this house. I hoped Rick didn't want to stay here for more than one night. I felt far too claustrophobic in this house.

Although this area looked to have a decent area to hunt in, so maybe if we found somewhere close by, that's if a herd didn't run us off...or a group of people for that matter, I could go hunting. Of course, I would have an escort though and that part was non-negotiable. It wasn't even worth arguing. I didn't even put up a fight when they turned me down again to do a shift on watch. Yesterday had been a close call, actually more than close. I know he said he had a feeling and decided to come check on us but all I know was that I was glad he did. I would hate to think what could have happened, well I could have guessed. _Entertainment_ as they called it. I shuddered at the thought.

 

 

I shifted slightly, turning over to my side, curled up against the wall. I could feel his eyes on me from somewhere in the room, where I wasn't too sure. But his gaze was unmistakeable. It was one thing my body was tuned into now.

I thought back to this afternoon, his second kiss. This one was different to the first, the need, the desperation, the fear. I had learnt in the short time I had known him he was never really one to express emotions, except anger. He loved to express anger. And as he wasn't much for talking, this was how he had chosen to express it. I can't say I was opposed to this. I mean as short as it was, it was hot and definitely stirred something inside me.

I wondered if he was thinking about it too. If they stirred something in him, like they did to me. So much for trying to distance myself from him. I only seemed to get myself in deeper. _Here is your shovel, keep digging. You won't get out it this easy._ I thought to myself.

I pulled the blanket up higher, tucking it under my chin. Trying to ignore the heated gaze on my back and slowly started to feel myself fall back into my slumber.

 

 

I was sitting on the back of Daryl's bike as we sped along the road, staring at the wings on his vest. Heading towards our next destination, the other two vehicles behind us. I hadn't even bothered trying to change where I was sitting today. As yesterday hadn't worked out well, Daryl had given me look as we left the house that seemed to advise _“Don't try to piss me off today, just get on the back of the fucking bike. Don't even bother to argue this.”_

Daryl's anger seemed to have disappeared for the moment but he wouldn't let me out of his sight. And if he had to be somewhere else he would task someone else to watch me. It felt a little bit like when I first came to the group, except then it was suspicion and mistrust, now it was different. He wanted to keep me safe. It was sweet but a little over the top I thought.

His kiss yesterday said more than he ever said out loud to me. It was enough for me not to question him.

So, it was just easier if I didn't put a fight about riding with him.

 

Ever since I joined with this group, the trouble had started. Before I hardly ever got injured, or had so many close calls with walkers. So, it couldn't be all me, right? Not that I'm blaming the group, it just seems a bit of a coincidence. Maybe it was because of the larger number of people I was surrounded with.

I hated to think where I would be if Daryl hadn't shot me that day. I would either still be on my own or dead I assumed. For all the bad things that have happened, there had been some good also. I just needed to get past the magnetic pull for shit that seemed to follow me and go back to keeping out of trouble and not getting injured as often. Surely it couldn't go on like this.

 

 

We had been driving most of the day, having to quickly turn around when we came across a rather large herd of walkers heading towards us down the same road. Too many to take on, so we turned the vehicles round, back-tracking a few miles before we detoured heading west for a bit. Hopefully dodging the herd.

 

The sun was starting to set and we had yet to find somewhere to hold up for the night.

 

 

We were now currently parked on the side of the road, debating our next move. Rick was pointing further down the road at a structure I couldn't quite make out from this distance. As it was our only option at this stage, we decided this would have to do for the night. After coming across the herd, we couldn't risk staying out in the open tonight. No one would feel right about it.

 

Riding up the driveway, we noticed a pile of ashes. Probably was once a house, now burnt to the ground. It didn't look recent and seemed to have happened a while ago. Behind where the house _was_ , was the structure Rick had seen. It was a barn. One that looked a lot like Hershel's, it was a little eerie. Everyone else seemed to notice that too. But we all knew this wasn't Hershel's farm as the barn had burnt down that night. I often wondered if the farmhouse was still intact. If the walkers hadn't destroyed that too, as it would have smelt like humans. Maybe one day we could go back there...

 

 

Rick, Daryl and I went to check out the barn, to make sure it was safe. I hoped there wasn't anything lurking in there. I had tolerated enough things lurking in the dark recently. I could see Daryl silently protesting my coming along. Rick had shot him a look when Daryl looked like he was going to say something and then surprising me, when he backed down, brooding.

I wasn't afraid, I knew what needed to be done and the three of us could handle this silently. I get that lately I seem to have attracted my fair share of shit but did he expect me to just sit on the side-lines like some useless scared little girl?

 

Standing at the barn door, Daryl pushed me behind him and he stood next to Rick. I rolled my eyes. I had my machete out ready just in case.

Rick gave a hard bang on the doors and we waited to hear any movements coming from inside. Silence. He banged again. I took a deep breath, my eyes focussed on the door. Waiting. Still silent. Rick looked to Daryl, then back at me, signalling me to be ready as Daryl reached for the bolt holding the door shut. Rick counted to three on his hand. On three Daryl pulled the door open, crossbow immediately raised. Rick went in first, pointing his pistol to the left then to the right, Daryl following behind him and me after Daryl. I took each step carefully, looking to my left and right, machete raised.

 

Upon further inspection of the barn, down the far end we could smell death, but we just couldn't find the source. Looking around we didn't see any bodies. It wasn't until growling from above us caught us off guard, all three of us looking up towards the roof. The sight before us shocked us. I had seen people commit suicide since this started but it was usually a bullet to the brain. Hanging just seemed so much more brutal.

Four bodies hung from the rafters. Two adults, one male, one female and two children a boy and a girl. A family. And now they smelled prey, they started moving around quite violently. I backed up a few steps, till my back hit something, turning around I noticed a ladder, leading to the hay loft. Immediately I placed my machete in the sheathe and started climbing. My feet taking to where I needed to go before my mind caught up.

“What the hell ya doin?” Daryl growled from below me.

“Cutting them down” I said flatly. It was the right thing to do. They needed to be put out of their misery and we couldn't have them as chandeliers for the night either. They would make too much fucking racket. “Put an arrow in each of them and I'll cut the ropes and lower them down so they don't make a mess.” I didn't wait for Daryl's answer, I could feel his glare from up here.

 

Other than the four hanging from the rafters there wasn't any other threats. But I still double checked the hayloft when I reached the top of the ladder, checking behind the hay bales that were left up there.

Edging my way towards the walkers, I noticed three out of the four had bolts through their heads, one bolt had missed and was sticking into the post. As I approached, the last walker spun itself around, kicking and flailing trying to reach for me. I just stood there looking at it. Seconds later it was silenced. I peered over the edge to Daryl and Rick, letting them know I was ok, before I started to untie the first rope.

I lowered the walkers down one by one. I found it especially hard looking at the children. It was still shocking to see a dead child like that. And then to die in that way, let alone coming back as a walker. I kept my eyes on the rope when it came to the children.

 

Once all the ropes were untied, I reached up and grabbed the bolt that had missed the walker and was stuck in the post. I had to give it hard tug but I got it free.

Without a word, I went to sit on the roof outside, leaning up against the barn. I knew Daryl would be up here in a few minutes when he didn't see me reappear downstairs. I just wanted a few moments alone, the haunting images of the children in my head. As I twirled the bolt between my fingers.

Looking out across the farmland I could see the peace this place once held. It would have been a nice place to live once upon a time. The kind of place I would have liked to settle down on. The sun was getting quite low, creating more and more shadows across the land.

 

 

I zoned out while sitting there. I tuned back into reality when I heard a laugh from downstairs, it sounded like Carl's. It was now dark out and I was surprised Daryl hadn't berated me on being out here on my own. How long had I been sitting here for? I debated about whether I should head inside. Screw it, I was going to take off who ever was on watch, no arguments. It had been days since I was last on watch, I needed to pull my weight, become valuable to the group again. Not just the chick who has the strongest magnet for trouble.

At the edge of the roof there was a ladder leading down the side of the barn to the ground. As quiet as I could be I dropped down to the ground. I see someone smoking by one of the vehicles, it had to be either T-dog or Daryl. I hoped it was T-dog as he would be easy to convince to let me take over his watch. Daryl would glare and practically shove me back in the barn.

I was relieved to see it was T-dog. I called out quietly, so not to scare him.

“Hey, just me” I whispered.

“Hey why aren't you inside?” he asked.

“Came to take over watch for you, go have some dinner” I said reaching out for his rifle.

“You sure?”

“Yes, I'm sure, been ages since I last did watch. Now go” I smiled as he handed me the rifle. He took one last drag on his cigarette before dropping it to the ground and stomping on it.

“Thanks” he mumbled before heading back inside.

 

 

Two minutes later I heard the barn door open. I stood with my back to the barn, looking out into the darkness. I braced myself, waiting for me to dragged back inside. But I couldn't feel his gaze on me...maybe it wasn't him after all.

“Hey you ok to be watch?” Rick asked from behind me.

I smiled before turning around. “Yeah been a few days. Only my jaw hurts but that's nothing I can't deal with. Besides I haven't been driving all day so I can stay awake tonight. I'm good Rick. Just get some sleep.”

“How about I keep ya company for a bit. Not ready to go back inside just yet” he sighed.

I wasn't going to be able to convince him just yet. He seemed to be avoiding something or someone. I suspected it had something to do with Lori.

We started walking to do a perimeter check.

“Do you want to tell what your avoiding?” I ask hesitantly.

He froze beside me, making me stop too. _Damnit should have kept your mouth shut Camille!_

“It's Lori...” he hesitated. I said nothing, waiting for him to say his piece. “I have so much anger now for her, for _Shane..._ ” I cringed hearing his name. “And I'm taking it all out on her. I get it, she thought I was dead but he was my best friend...it makes me question our whole marriage...like was it going on before all of this. Was I blind then too?” he said hurriedly, not daring to look up and kept his eye on the ground. “I'm not stupid, I did the maths, it can't be mine, no matter what she says about it being mine regardless” his voice cracked. I placed my hand on his shoulder, he looked up and I could see the tears in his eyes.

“She loves you Rick, I don't quite know what I can say to make it any better but...” I trailed off, the words stuck.

“When I told her I killed him, the way she looked at me...That's where my doubt comes in because of that look she gave me. Like I had taken him away from her...I just don't know how to play happy families any more...” he said, his voice sounding more cold. I could see him putting his walls back up. He was done with this conversation for now.

 

I gave him a few minutes of silence, just standing next to him, looking out into the darkness, going back to my watch duty.

“You should head back inside, get some sleep and probably tell Daryl that I'm ok before he comes storming out here...And if you do want to talk, I will listen” I said holding his gaze.

He pursed his lips before nodding and heading back inside. I heard the barn door shut and I could feel myself breathing out in a sigh of relief. I felt better about being out here on my own. Which was surprising considering the last week or so. I'd hardly had any alone time in the last few days to process anything. I thought I would be jumpier or clinging to people. I did however wonder if Daryl had sent Rick out here to check on me, so he could pretend not to care. Although I could still be reading into that, it was just a kiss, right? I groaned inwardly.

 

 

I did a few laps round the barn over the next few hours, always coming back to the front where we had the vehicles parked. Trying not to stay still for too long as I was afraid I would fall asleep, standing or not. I had found that my bag was still in the Prius, I grabbed two energy bars out, placing one in my pocket and having the other for dinner.

 

I had no idea how early or how late it was. I just needed to take advantage of the alone time while I could and hopefully try work some things out in my head.

The more I thought about the last week, I realised how crazy it was, so much had happened. Firstly, doing my “stupid stunt” leading the walkers away so the others could escape, then left on my own, sleeping in a tree, killing walkers before finally getting back to the group. Secondly, almost getting left behind again, although I didn't intentionally mean that to happen, it was just dumb luck. Daryl circling back to pick me up. Third, Maggie and I almost being carted off for “entertainment” by three men. And fourth, it wasn't something that was like the other three incidents, but seeing the children hanging in the barn. It was still disturbing to me.

 

 

Now feeling quite awake I was seated on the hood of the Cherokee scanning the darkness for movement. Hugging my knees to my chest, the machete laying between my feet, the rifle slung over my shoulder.

 

I was startled when a hand smacked on the hood besides, as I my gaze moved from the hand, up the arm, to the shoulder then resting on the face, dead eyes looked back at me. Then it started growling as it reached for me again. I reached for my machete and now saw two other walkers on the other side heading towards the truck. I swung the machete decapitating the walker, its body falling to the ground with a heavy thud. I knew I would have to look for the head afterwards, as its jaws would be still snapping away.

The other two walkers were closer now and I could see another three walkers coming up from behind them too. _Just perfect._ I debated whether I should use the rifle. But using the rifle would both attract more walkers and wake the group, which could be a dangerous thing to wake up to in the dark. The rifle would be a last resort I decided. I couldn't see any more walkers in the darkness. Just the five that were approaching me now. I backed myself up onto the roof of the truck. I thought this would be a little safer as it would be harder to reach me.

I took out the first two quickly, almost losing the machete on the last one, as it got stuck firmly in the walker’s head, I had to give it several tugs before I pulled it free. Standing back on my feet as the last three approached the vehicle. One circling round to the back of the vehicle, the other two standing in front of me, reaching in vain for me. I kept my gaze flicking back between the walkers, the one standing at the back was making me nervous, the way it moved round to the back of the vehicle seemed so out of character, its eyes fixed on me. It was like it was figuring out how to pull me from the truck.

I focussed on the two in front of me, quickly stabbing one through the eye, pulling the machete back before the walker could grab it. I was just about to go for the second walker, when I felt a hand tightly gripping my boot, the walker had managed to pull himself up slightly on the truck, snapping its jaws as it tugged hard on my boot, I swung the machete slicing through the arm, hearing the clang of the blade against the roof of the truck. _That was going to leave a mark. Hope Rick won't mind._

The walker growled losing its grip and fell to the ground. I kicked off the hand that was still gripping my boot. Then turned my attention to the other walker, I plunged the blade through the skull and used my boot to push the walker off my blade.

The last walker was still on its back, trying to get itself up. I jumped down off the truck, stepping around the bodies of the fallen walkers. Placing my boot on the last walker’s chest, it grabbed my boot with its remaining hand, I looked at it for a few seconds before silencing it, easily pulling free from this hand.

I looked round at the carnage surrounding the truck, knowing what this would look like to everyone, it was going to be fun to explain what happened. I handled it fine I thought. It was probably a good thing I was sitting up on the truck at the time as the first walker had actually been pretty stealthy.

I could hear the snapping jaw of the walker I had decapitated first. I sighed, my work wasn't done just yet. I slowly walked round the vehicle, my eyes on the ground looking for the head. I spotted it twenty feet away from the car. As I walked closer, it became more agitated, eyes locked on me. I bought my boot down several times, caving in the skull. I wiped the gunk off my boot on the grass, and did the same to the machete before placing it back in the sheathe on my hip.

 

 

After pacing in front of the barn for about an hour, I slowed, stopping not far from the door to eat the other energy bar.

I freeze mid-bite momentarily when I hear the barn door open. Glenn ducking out rubbing his hands over his eyes, yawning.

“Morning” I whisper, taking the last bite of the energy bar.

“Mmm morning” he replies sleepily.

“What's the time?”

“Three”

“Been pretty quiet, mostly, had to take out a few walkers by the Cherokee few hours ago. Since then nothing.” I said handing him the rifle. “Where's everyone sleeping?” I ask.

He smirks, “Mostly up in the hayloft...Daryl is in one of the stalls, second on the right.”

That hadn't been my intention when I asked where everyone was sleeping. I wanted to know just in case they were sleeping right next to the door, didn't want to step on someone by accident. Although I'm sure I would have found somewhere close to him regardless, so I could sleep better.

“Night Glenn” I say making my way towards the barn door. I was sure there was a hint smug look on his face before I made my way inside.

 

I made my way inside as quietly as I can, closing the door behind me. Its reasonably quiet inside, I only hear someone shifting slightly before settling. I head straight to where Daryl is sleeping. I know I sleep better when he is next to me, so why bother finding somewhere else to sleep. He doesn't mind most of the time, he seems to have gotten used to be being there. Even if sometimes it does make him uncomfortable.

 

Standing at the door of the stall I hesitate, hoping not to wake him. I never know how he's going to react when I wake him. He's lying on his back, one hand behind his head, the other resting on his chest, my eyes lingering a bit too long.

“Ya just gonna stand there?” he says through a yawn, making me jump.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay he kissed her, short and sweet, and I thought it was very him.... What do you guys think??  
> So I need your opinions....Should there be a little bit of smut next chapter or should I keep on the slow burn?  
> Remember to review guys!!!


	24. Scout

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OK so I FINALLY have an update, sorry its been so long. Had a couple of pretty stressful weeks with work but things seem to be getting better, so I'm back writing. Staying up very late...well early (5am) to get this chapter edited and posted for you guys this morning.  
> Thanks to those who commented last chapter AceLucky, Debbief722 and kittysaurus, always appreciated, won't turn my nose up at anymore comments either lol.
> 
> Anyway...as always Enjoy!

_“Ya just gonna stand there?” he says through a yawn, making me jump._

 

I stood there frozen for a second before I register that I still needed to answer him.

“Didn't want to wake you” I mumble stupidly.

He took the blanket he was using as a pillow and placed it beside him before he turned over mumbling something inaudible. _Well he hadn't told me to sleep somewhere else, at least from what I could hear or couldn't._

I kicked off my boots, unsheathed the machete, placing it next to my boots. I lay the blanket down, folding half of it over me. We may have been sleeping on hay but I wasn't about to wake up all itchy from laying on it all night.

 

I had just closed my eyes when I could hear him shift beside me. I had set up my blanket a few feet away so I could give him the illusion that there was space between us. I didn't want him to assume I was expecting something. This, for now was what I needed, it was because he made me feel safe and I had very few nightmares when I slept next to him. Yes, there had been a few occasions where I would have liked to jump him. But I was still guarded around him, trying not to let things progress that way in case it all turned to shit or I had read all those signals wrong and fucked up big time. He may have kissed me the other day but that didn't by any means mean that we were suddenly going steady or anything. The only problem was that my brain found it hard to concentrate around him at times and screamed at me to just jump him already, to just say fuck it and throw caution to the wind. I needed a cold shower.

 

“It still makes you uncomfortable when I sleep next you, doesn't it?” I say, almost regretting saying it out loud.

Silence. Uncomfortable fucking silence...

He shifts again beside me. I inwardly sigh, berating myself on the inside. _Should have kept my mouth shut. Again. I don't even have to jump him to fuck this up, my mouth seems to do that spectacularly for me._

I'm now torn, should I stay or should go? I go to say something several times but promptly shut my mouth. The indecision swirling in my head.

 

After a little deliberating in my head I decide to stay but resolve to turn over, facing away from him, to try and give him more space. The blanket had ridden up a bit, exposing some of my back to the night air. I shivered, then tried to unsuccessfully pull the blanket to cover all of me. After a few attempts I give up, trying to snuggle against the blanket for extra warmth. As I nuzzled the blanket I just noticed how it smelt like him. I couldn't help but inhale his scent, making me smile.

 

“How was watch?” he mumbled beside me, closer than I thought he had been.

“Um...fine...did have to take out a few walkers. Nothing I couldn't handle” I said trying to sound more confident. “Rick probably won't be too happy with the body parts surrounding the Cherokee in the morning, looks a bit like a sacrifice” I smirked. “Was standing on top of the truck so it made it easier to take them out.”

“How many?” he grumbled, sounding a bit frustrated now.

I turned over to face him, seeing he had moved closer. “Six” I said swallowing, expecting a negative reaction. He huffed quietly, sitting up. I reached out placing my hand on his arm, “I had the advantage, trust me. I know you worry”

His lips twitched at the word worry. “Ya just can't keep putting yerself in these situations”

“I didn't put myself in this situation, as you have mentioned several times I'm a magnet for this shit... anyway I was on watch, a group of them wandered close to our camp, so I took care of it. Like anyone else would have...Look do I have to strip naked to prove I wasn't scratched or bitten and that I'm absolutely fine?” I say without even thinking. Mentally slapping myself for saying that out loud, blush creeping over my face as I ducked my head. I heard him chuckle.

“I'm not going to strip naked” I said raising my head, narrowing my eyes at him.

“How am I going to check that yer _absolutely_ fine?” he smirked echoing my words back to me.

“Fine as soon as you get naked” I quip, rolling my eyes, knowing full well he wasn't going to.

He pursed his lips. “I wasn't the one takin' down six walkers” he grumbled.

Now I wasn't sure if he was still just playing along or he was actually serious.

“Daryl...I'm fine...any way, it’s too dark for you to see anything even if you were to _check_ for scratches” I chuckle, rolling my eyes at him, even though I know he can't see that gesture. I rubbed my thumb over his arm, until I feel him tense under my touch. I stop and remove my hand. I swear he almost looked disappointed when I removed my hand. I pull the blanket back over me, shaking my head, turning away from him.

 

 

I freeze when I feel his hand slide under the blanket, his body now dangerously close to mine. The heat radiating from him. Warming me up in more ways than one. I try to push that thought aside.

“What are you doing?” I ask suspiciously.

“Checkin' 'fer scratches” he drawls as he runs his hand under my hoody and across my lower back, goose bumps forming at the mere touch his fingers make.

“Was this the back-up plan because I wouldn't get naked?”

“Somethin' like that” he breathes against my neck. I can't help but chuckle again. I should be telling him to stop or pull his hand away but those rational thoughts are long gone after his fingers touched my skin. His hand continuing to move north, pushing my hoody and top further up my body. His fingers ghosting over my ribs, making me squirm slightly as it tickles me. His fingers flex as I squirm.

“Find anything?” I ask, and I'm surprised as it comes out a little breathy. I now noticed the change in my breathing, in his breathing, how I was biting my lower lip from letting any other sound escape, the sting still present. The switch had flipped.

His hands stop just below my bra, his finger tracing the seam of the bra on my side before he dips his hand forward across my ribs, tracing each rib as he does, his fingers teasingly brushing the underside of my breast. I don't dare move at this point, afraid he'll stop, afraid he'll continue, I'm not sure which one excites me more.

I can feel his body more firmly pushed against me now, his breath hot against my neck. As he reaches the far side of my chest, he moves his hand slightly and brushes his thumb over my clothed breast, seeking out my hardening nipple. When he makes contacts, I can't stop the intake of breath, hitching in my throat. He does it again, my body jerks infinitesimally. The quietest of groans escapes his lip and he stills his movements. He swallows before speaking.

“No scratches” he breathes against my ear. I shiver. I can feel the smirk on his face. It annoyed me how he could keep himself in check. I was failing miserably. I was just short of groaning and panting, regardless of who would hear.

“Are you sure?” I manage to get out. I feel rather than hear his chuckle from behind me.

He moves his hand back down my ribs, deliberately brushing over my nipple one final time, I swallow back a moan. He moves his hand down at a painstakingly slow pace, amused at how he is affecting me.

 

Stopping just shy of the top of my jeans, he brings his hand to rest on my hip. I let out a shaky breath and he grips my hip, pulling himself against my back, adjusting the blankets around us both.

“Who said I needed light” he whispers.

“Pretty sure you lost track of looking for scratches” I smirk.

He moves his fingers to just slightly push under the waistband of my jeans, my breath hitching again.

“Hmm guess yer' right” he says teasingly, giving my hip a small squeeze.

“How the hell are you so under control?” I growl quietly.

I felt him push himself against me and whisper “Will power.”

I have to bite back a moan at that statement. I know we can't continue though, too many ears that could be listening. And I knew if we both got our way, this wouldn't be as silent as we would like it to be in this setting. In my head, I'm trying to calm myself, trying to think of anything other than something hard pressed against my clothes covered ass.

 

Both of us settle, _it took some time_ , his movements now stilled, his hand still on my bare skin, occasionally brushing his thumb over my skin. It wasn't long before it lulls me into slumber.

 

 

I woke to hear soft snores coming from behind me. The sun was barely up, I could see some sunlight peeking through the cracks in the barn. I shifted slightly only to have an arm grip me tighter, pulling me back against his chest and grumbling something inaudible in his sleep.

I move my hand to sit on top of his and stroke it softly, slowly starting to feel him relax, his grip loosening. I take the opportunity to slip out from his arm. Scooting down the blanket to lace up my boots. I had just finished the laces on the last boot when I heard him stir.

I peer back over my shoulder and smile. “Morning”

“Ain't ya even tired? Couldn't have got more than three hours’ sleep” he said wiping the sleep from his eyes.

“Course I'm tired but gotta go clean up the mess I made this morning” I say reaching for the machete.

He scowls at me. I think he had forgotten about last night, till now. He threw the blanket back, pulled on his boots and slung his crossbow over his shoulder, trailing me step for step. I knew he wanted to assess the damage now as well, I wasn't going to skate by this time. _Should have kept my mouth shut...again_. I hoped the reaction I would get would be pride and awe but I had a feeling it wasn't going to go as well as that. I'm sure by the end of it, I would get my ass handed to me by someone, _more than likely Daryl_ , Daryl scowling up a storm at me and I wouldn't be alone on watch duty again. Ever. Ok, that's maybe a bit dramatic but I would rather think the worst and be surprised when it doesn't than think it will go swimmingly well and have it turn to shit.

 

We both just reach the barn door when I hear Rick on the other side of the door.

“What the hell happened last night?” he asked Glenn.

“Wasn't me” he replied to Rick.

I pushed open the door and stepped out. “Um, that's my doing. Sorry, there may be a dent on the roof of the truck too.” I say trying to brush it off. It didn't work.

“What happened?” Rick asked narrowing his eyes. _Oh great, so now I'll be getting it from Rick as well._

I started my explanation. “Was quiet for most of the night. In the early hours, I was sitting up on the hood of your truck, when a walker surprised me. It was stealthy, didn't even hear it approach. I took it down. Then five more appeared. I backed myself up onto the roof and took them out one by one” I say looking over the carnage pile surrounding the truck, the memory of the walker at the back of the truck stuck in my mind though. “There was one walker though...it seemed different, like it was trying to figure out how to get me...I don't know quite how to explain it. I mean, I didn't think they had higher brain function other than kill and eat...While I went to kill the last two out of the three left, it circled round to the back of the truck, watching and while I was distracted killing the last walker it managed to pull itself up and grab a hold of my boot, that's why there's a pretty good dent in the roof now.”

Rick was looking out to the truck, silent. I couldn't quite tell if he was pissed off or just assessing the situation. He held no expression. And then looking to Daryl, he well looked surprised for the briefest of seconds, then he masks the expression, putting on the scowl again. I smirk to myself. _He surprises me every day. Just when I think he'll react one way, he does the complete opposite. Although I am still waiting for the reckless and stupid stunts talk...I was sure that would come when we didn't have an audience._

“I'll start on the clean-up” I say starting to walk towards the vehicles, not waiting for answer. I thought it would be best if it got cleaned up before everyone was up. Half of them would panic. Even though they should be used to this sight by now. It was our world now.

 

I hadn't realised how much I had hacked last night. It was all such a blur. There were limbs scattered all round the truck. I couldn't help but feel a little smug. But looking to Daryl, Glenn and Rick, they weren't as smug as me. I felt like there was a silent conversation going on, either questioning my sudden psychosis or if I had lost the plot. Granted it had been dark, so there were times when I was slashing when I wasn't sure what part of flesh I had struck. I had tunnel vision in that moment, it was like a moment of clarity. I was focused. I knew my task and what path I had to take to get there.

I hacked and sliced and kept focused until that damn walker grabbed my ankle, pulling me from the tunnel. I remember the panic as it tugged hard against my boot, it only lasted a few seconds but in those few seconds I froze, frozen by the fear. I wasn't ready to die. And I think that was the switch that flipped, that ultimately made me swing the machete down, hacking off the walkers’ arm. The ding on metal on metal making me grin and I wasn't sure why. I think it had something to do with the demise of the creepy stealthy walker who almost fucked everything up.

Rick's talking pulled me from my thoughts.

“Why didn't you use the rifle?” he questioned me, his cop stare looking back at me.

“I thought it would attract more and if I started shooting off rounds, someone was bound to come out and that would have put them in danger too. I didn't need to be adding to the body count if there was one” I sigh.

Rick frowns at me, then looks to Daryl. I'm avoiding looking at him at this point. I was sure there would be a scowl present after that piece of information. I knew this wasn't new information, we all knew we could be next but I was probably a little too blunt at this hour of the morning.

 

 

I was standing at the back of the truck, looking down on the walker that had been too close. I looked over its body, looking for differences, as to why it had behaved this way. Taking my machete, it peeled back the collar of the shirt with the blade, a large gash covered a good portion of his clavicle. Nothing out of the ordinary. He was dressed in a worn-out suit. He had a bit bite mark between his thumb and finger. This walker seemed like every other walker I had come across, by looks any ways. There was just something in the back of my mind that ate away at me. I couldn't get its calculating moves out of my head.

 

Daryl was suddenly standing next to me, for how long I wasn't sure. I was certain I had dazed out for a bit while I replayed last night’s events in my head. He held out a pair of gloves for me and I put them on, then taking the feet of the walker, Daryl grabbed the shoulders and we dragged the body into the small pile away from the vehicles. Neither of us saying a word. We collected the body parts surrounding the truck, dumping them in the pile.

“Should we burn them?” I ask.

“No, not much point, we ain't sticking around here, so better not waste the gas” Rick said as he dropped the last body on the pile.

 

 

“We should head out now” Rick called as the group gathered.

“Where to next?” T-dog asked.

“Not sure. I say we head same direction. There should be a town fifty miles up the road. I don't know where we will end next but we need to keep moving until we find something more secure.” Rick said glancing over to the pile of body parts.

Everyone mostly nodded in agreement. It wasn't really a plan but we didn't have much choice. There wasn't a better option to consider. And with the walkers that had stumbled upon us last night. It was clear it wasn't safe, at least not for the moment.

Walking over to the Prius I took the gloves off, shoving them into my hoody pocket. Thankfully they weren't covered in too much blood and guts. I grabbed my bow and quiver out of the boot, shouldering them both and placing my bag in the boot. I walked over to Daryl's bike, waiting for him.

 

He walked over a few minutes later, placing his crossbow in the clip, only to have it snap. He cursed silently, and looked to be wondering what to do with it as I was riding behind him. I rolled my eyes, he was so particular about his precious crossbow, never let anyone handle it. I don't think I had even touched it, I laughed to myself. If I had said that out loud I'm sure I would have gotten the most curious of looks for that statement. I do see why he has indecision, I get a little the same but I'm not fussy about having someone look after it for a bit. Although if they did break it, I would be pissed. It’s an extension of myself so to lose it, I would feel naked half the time. Plus, it was one my dad gave me, so there was a bit of sentimentality behind it.

 

“Either I'm shouldering that crossbow or I'm driving?” I smirk at him.

His head snapped up and tilted his head to the side, eyeing me up, seeing if I was worthy enough. As he stood there saying absolutely nothing, I panicked slightly, _he wasn't really considering riding bitch, was he?_ I've never been the driver, only the passenger and I was quite happy with that predicament. Yes, it all seems very straightforward, throttle on the right and brake on the left. I'm sure I could start it fine but I would stall trying to change gears and I doubt the group wanted to travel at a crawl all day.

 

I held my hand out for the crossbow and then sighed when he made no move.

“Since you won't part with your crossbow, I guess I'll go ask Rick if I can ride with them” I said shaking my head and dropping my hand.

Then unexpectedly he handed it over, watching my every move as I placed it over my opposite shoulder I had my bow on.

“Promise I'll barely touch it or look at it and not gonna steal it, you can have it back as soon we find our next place or you need it, ok?” I said.

He eyed me, his expression never changing, just looking at me.

“If you're gonna give me dirty looks all day, I'd rather ride in the boot” I said my face becoming hard. He dropped his eyes. But I could still feel him tracking each movement I made. I shook my head.

“Do you really think I'm going to bolt, lugging both of these on my shoulders?” I say raising an eyebrow at him. And then pretend I'm about to bolt, jerking my body in the slightest. My lips curving up into a grin and I see him flinch ever so slightly and then growl so quietly I wasn't sure if I heard him.

“Kidding Dixon” I mutter, rolling my eyes.

 

 

I now felt the weight of both bows, pulling hard against my shoulders. His only weighed just under six pounds but with the weight of my bow as well, I knew by the end of the day, my shoulders would be full of knots and probably sore. Maybe we would get lucky and we would find something close, that would save my shoulders. But in the back of my mind I knew it wouldn't be that easy, it never has been so why would it start being easy now?

 

He swung his leg over, and sat, waiting for me to get on. I slipped on behind him, using his shoulder for balance, the bows tipping me off balance twice. Finally, I got myself seated and placed my hands on his waist and smirked to myself. I had an idea on how to lighten his mood, maybe distract him that someone else was holding his precious crossbow.

“See...” I grinned, letting my hands move from his waist around to his stomach, rubbing over the rough material of his shirt, feeling him stiffen, “and you could have been in my position, feeling me up from behind” I purred in his ear.

He started the bike with a roar, his body shaking a little from his silent chuckle. Tension diffused, for now. I kept my hands where they were as he hadn't given any objection. I'd push my luck as far as I could, I thought.

 

 

Well I had been right, we had been riding for the remainder of the morning and a good hour or two into the afternoon, and my shoulders were killing me. Each of the straps seemed to cause imbalance, pulling the other strap with it, straining my shoulders. I couldn't wait till we stopped.

 

 

When we finally started to slow down, my shoulders were burning. I had got off the bike as soon as he came to a stop, happily handing over his precious crossbow. His face seemed to visibly sigh as he had his crossbow back in his grips again. I took my own bow off, the burning sensation still present in my shoulders. I tried to stretch them out, only to feel stiffer. It wouldn't cause too many problems when I would have to shoot today, just aching a lot. I would have to massage them later, or maybe con Maggie into doing it for me.

 

As I looked around now I noticed we were parked outside a large gate, beyond the gate was a trailer park. I could see a few walkers wandering as they passed between the gaps seen between the trailers. The trailer park itself looked to be quite big, the sign had a map of the park, showing how far it expanded. Even towards the back looked to be a river running past. This place could be a goldmine. And also a death trap if we didn't do this right. First, we would need to clear the walkers wandering around, then if it looked suitable find some trailers to hold up in. And if all went according to plan we could scavenge through each of the trailers. The big gate looked to both be keeping people out and keeping however many walkers that were lurking around the trailers inside.

 

 

After looking around the fences surrounding the park, it looked that they were mostly intact, at least from the front. The gate had a big chain with a padlock attached, but bolt cutters would fix that and we had a few extra locks to lock it behind us if we decided we would stay here.

 

It was decided Hershel, Carol, Beth, Carl and Lori would stay behind with the vehicles. Carl and Hershel to be on lookout. The rest of us would go inside, staying together as a group as clearing it block by block, then if that went well we could start clearing the trailers. Looking at the size of the map there was a lot of trailers, it would take us a solid two days to clear each trailer before we started scavenging.

 

I could see Daryl from the corner of my eye, scowling a little my way. I was waiting for him to suggest I help keep watch at the vehicles. He didn't have to say anything for me to figure it out, his body language said it all. I get he's _concerned_ , but there's no bloody reason to. I handled myself perfectly fine last night. So maybe the protective thing was starting to bug me. I wasn't purposely being reckless, I'm just a magnet for shit, as he has pointed out several times.

As I looked as the trailers I could see some that were relatively close, I had an idea. I just hoped it wouldn't get shot down, I’m sure it wouldn't get shot down. I kinda miss the days where nobody gave a fuck if I went out hunting on my own. Maybe I am still a bit reckless. Leopard can't change her spots, right?

 

“Rick I reckon I could scout the area from the top of the trailers, give you guys a heads up if there's a herd lurking between the trailers. Some of them look close enough that I could jump between them and work my way through. Just need a boost up?” I asked hopefully. Rick nodded and seemed happy about the idea. Daryl just looked relieved, one less person to worry about. It’s not that I doubted my mad skills but I genuinely thought it would benefit the group. The park was quite big so if we could scout further ahead without having to be on the ground, it would help big time. Well that's how I saw it.

 

“No guns, we only use them if it’s absolutely necessary.” Rick said looking to everyone, making sure they got the picture. “Camille use your bow, take out as many as you can in our path. The rest of us will push forward clearing the walkers. Any sign of trouble, signal and we'll get out.”

“I don't want you to go” I heard Glenn whisper to Maggie. She shook her head firmly. Bloody men trying to get us woman folk to sit and wait for them. She crossed her arms and firmly held her ground. I smirked and nodded once at her. Glenn backed off, his eyes trained on the ground now.

 

 

Hershel locked the gate behind us, Carol standing beside him. Carl was standing on the roof of the truck with some binoculars. Lori with her arm around Beth's shoulders. The rest of us looking forward to the task now in front of us. I took a deep breath, eyes scanning the surrounding area looking for movement. We would need to move forward, getting past the first few trailers before I would be able climb up on them. They were spaced too far apart this close to the entrance.

 

Moving as a group, Daryl and Rick took the lead and Glenn and T-dog took the rear, wedging Maggie and I between the males. I gave a look to Maggie and she smirked rolling her eyes. She understood what they were doing too. The men weren't as subtle as they thought they were.

 

 

Coming around the first trailer, it was eerie how deserted the place was. I half expected a group of survivors to be holed up in here, come storming out guns blazing. But the silence that blanketed the area was enough to let me know, the living weren't inhabiting the area, only the dead. An already dead walker lay on the ground, a husk of its former self. We stalked further into the park, eyes flitting round, looking for walkers we knew were here. Daryl signalled us to halt, all immediately stopping, eyes moving back and forth.

The sound of crunching fallen leaves being crushed under heavy scraping footsteps sounded from behind the next trailer in front of us. As it rounded the corner, it snarled seeing prey in its vicinity and was quickly silenced by a bolt piercing its skull. I took several steps off to my right, taking Rick and Daryl out of my line of vision, more footsteps following behind the previous walker. I had a bolt loaded in the string ready, two more walkers appeared, growling and stumbling towards us. Daryl was loading another bolt when I released mine, dropping a walker, the second following suit with a bolt from Daryl. I grabbed another bolt loading it and holding it, taking quiet steps forward as the rest of the group advanced. Daryl gathered the bolts, walking back over to me, reaching over my shoulder and placing my bolt in my quiver. I flashed him a quick smile and he held my gaze for a fraction of a second before he dropped his head and turning back around.

“Ok Camille I think this will be a good place for you to get up on the trailer, they seem to be spaced closer together now.” Rick said turning back to me and I nodded, looking to the trailer I was going to have to scale. No way I was getting up there without some help.

“Someone's gotta give me a boost” I said, my eyes still fixed on the roof of the trailer.

I walked over to the steps leading up to the front door of the trailer, pulling myself up from the small porch would give me a little less room to have to climb. I stopped peeking inside for any movement. Nothing from what I could see past the dust covered windows. I noticed T-dog starting to make his way towards me as no one had started to move, out of the corner of my eye, I saw Daryl scowl and start to stalk towards me, glaring at T-dog, who had stopped in his tracks. Glenn was grinning looking between the two men. I shouldered my bow, placing the bolt back in the quiver and heard Daryl walk up the steps behind me. He huffed quietly, telling me to silently _get on with it._ I turned to him and he linked his hands together, bending slightly so I could place my foot in the hold.

“Can you gather my bolts when you pass please?” I ask quietly. He nods.

I balanced my hands on his shoulders, placed my boot on his hands, nodded and counted down. “Three. Two. One.” I pushed myself up, grabbing the side of the trailer, Daryl giving me extra leverage, gripping one of my ankles, driving me further upwards. With a few grunts and some upper body strength I didn't know I had, I managed to pull myself up on the roof of the trailer.

 

Standing on the roof I gave my order. “Give me a few minutes to get the lay of the land, see which route you should take” I said, not really waiting for an answer. I turned back to survey the area, there had to be sixty or seventy trailers sprawled out in the area. We were going to need a few days to scavenge through each trailer. This place could be a gold mine. The river at the far end of the property also looked like we would be able to use it for drinking, bathing and washing. The drinking would have to be tested, it was just a guess at the moment. It seemed to be flowing fast enough that I would consider good.

 

My eyes caught movement further out about six trailers away from me. I silently prayed by jumping from trailer to trailer I wouldn't be riling up any undead on the inside. I would try to be as silent as I could but jumping from roof to roof I wasn't going to as silent as I would like to be. From this distance I couldn't see if it was just one walker, I would need to get closer to inspect.

 

Adjusting the bow on my shoulder, I made sure it would move too much when I was manoeuvring myself between the trailers. I took a deep breath and jumped, landing with a small thud on the next roof, scrunching my face up at the slight noise. The next trailer backed right on to this trailer so I could walker safely across. Nearing the edge of this trailer I could see a small group of about six walkers clustered together, walking around in circles. They didn't seem to be interested in anything, they just seemed to wander. I knew I would have to make my shots counts, there were only so many bolts in my quiver and as soon as they got wind of me it would make taking them out all the more annoying. And they could rile up other walkers in the vicinity.

 

I was still about two trailers away and had a good line of vision from here. I lined up my first shot, taking out the walker furthest away from the group. It dropped and none of the other walkers seemed to notice. Lining up the second shot, I knew this would probably attract the attention of the other walkers, so I had to be quick and accurate.

As I had thought, as soon as the next walker dropped the remaining walkers looked stunned for a second looking down at the fallen corpse. And as the next body dropped their heads whipped round looking for the source. Spotting me on top of the roof, they ambled forward snarling and growling. Two more appeared that I hadn't seen before, the snarling walkers must have gotten the attention of these two.

 

As the last walker fell to the ground, leaning up against the trailer. I looked round again looking for more movement. So far it was clear. I had felt his eyes on my back every minute or so since I had gone to scout. I signalled for the group it was clear, waving them forward. Seeing they were making their way through the trailers I pressed forward, traversing my way around the maze of trailers before me.

Two walkers were stumbling away from us. I signalled there was two up ahead. The group could easily take them down without being noticed and it would save me using more of my bolts. I did notice some of mine in the back of Daryl's quiver, I smiled inwardly at that. I watched as Daryl lined up his shot, taking one walker down and Rick driving a machete into the skull of the other walker.

“How does it look up ahead?” Rick asked as he pulled his machete free.

Looking ahead I could see several walkers spaced out. I could probably take out most of them and they could take out the remainder.

“About a dozen or so spaced out, I'll take out as many as I can and lead you guys through. There's one walker two trailers over. Take him out and I'll signal when it’s clear” I said looking to Rick then Daryl. They both nodded.

I felt like they had so much trust in me now. Maybe this was a good idea after all, I smirked to myself. I know it was too soon to pat myself on the back but so far it had gone according to plan. In the back of my mind though I was waiting for the other shoe to drop and it all fall to shit. That seemed to be a natural reaction nowadays. When it all seems too good to be true....

I shook my head, pulling myself back to reality. I needed to concentrate, not get stuck in my head.

 

Pushing forward I watched out of the corner of my eye the group weaving in and around the trailers. Silently taking out the lone walker I had told them about. I was already moving to the next trailer as they were about to take it down. A bolt in the string I lined up a shot, taking down a walker who spotted me atop the trailer and was staggering towards me. It was on the opposite side to where the group was moving, so I would have to remember later to grab the bolt. They were far too valuable to leave behind.

 

Grabbing another bolt, I could see another small cluster of walkers further up ahead. I signalled for the group to stop, using hand signals I indicated there was a group of four up ahead. I would go take them out and then let them know when they could advance again. As I moved atop the trailer, I heard movement below me. I froze and looked either side of the trailer for the walker but couldn't see one. It was inside. And my not so feather-like steps woke the bastard up.

“Inside” I mouthed to the group. They nodded and moved towards the trailer. T-dog stood at the door, ready to open it up and let the walker out. I stood above the doorway with a bolt ready. T-dog banged several times on the door, riling the creature up inside as it banged back against the door in frustration. Looking to Rick and Daryl, who stood ready, Glenn and Maggie either side of them, flanking them weapons ready. Seconds passed then he opened the door, the walker busting out, it dropped to the ground quickly as Daryl suck a bolt through its brain. Another walker then staggered out, T-dog quickly plunging his knife into the skull.

 

As I now looked round where we were, I could see the gate back further, Carl still perched on the roof of the truck, no doubt with the binoculars. I gave him a thumbs up, just to let him know we were ok, if he saw it I wasn't sure. No walkers had invaded where we had just cleared. It was clear to the gate.

 

Now looking to where the group was situated, I noticed how these three trailers were laid out in a U-shaped pattern, only one of the corners had three foot gap that led out to the main road down the centre of the trailer park. If we block that gap up with maybe one of the abandoned vehicles and then use our vehicles to block most of the front off, we could fortify this place, at least temporarily. That was providing the trailers were liveable and didn't have too many other surprises inside. And the trailer I was standing on, I now noticed had several small solar panels on the roof on the opposite side. I grinned, we could have power or maybe hot water. My grin widened at the thought.

 

I crouched down and keeping my voice low I explained my thoughts to Rick, pointing out where we would need to block off. He looked around and I saw him smile, a genuine smile, one I hadn't seen from him in weeks. T-dog, Daryl, Glenn and Maggie had the same expressions on their faces, they could see the potential as well.

“First, we clear this area, then if it’s all safe, we'll clear the other two trailers, then bring the rest of the group in” Rick said to me. I nodded and stood going back to my mission.

 

 

It took us another hour but we weaved our way through the maze, taking out walkers. There had probably been a few dozen in total, most of my bolts now missing from my quiver, Daryl collecting them as he walked by. I jumped my way back to the group of trailers we had discussed earlier, the group coming a few minutes later. I had my eyes trained on the surrounding area looking for more walkers who may have been lurking out there.

 

Splitting into two groups they took a trailer each and banged on the doors waiting for moaning and growling to come from either side. When both sides determined that they hadn't heard anything, they both proceeded inside. I held my breath, my eyes flitting from one trailer to another waiting for both sets to emerge from the trailers. A minute later they both did, everyone shaking their head. No walkers.

“I'll go get the rest of the group” Rick said, T-dog, Maggie and Glenn following after him.

“Ya gonna come down from there?” Daryl asked as he pulled his bolt from the walker’s skull. It made a disgusting squishing noise as he pulled it free.

“Nah I should keep look out for the moment....How do the trailers look inside? Think they will do for however long we're here for?” I asked.

He nodded as he loaded the bolt back into the string. _A man of few words._

I sighed as I looked round the rest of the park. Bodies were littered round the trailers, we would have to clean them up later. For now, we would clear the ones near _our_ trailers. Get things set up before go do a full clean out of the bodies. I glanced over to the river hopeful, I couldn't wait to go for a swim and get clean. And some clean clothes. Oh, the possibilities!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As i started putting the chapter together I wasn't quite sure if smut could work, but working on next chapter and trying to get some in there...think the trailer has a little more privacy lol!!! I think also he's trying to get her to make the first move, or tease her until she jumps him lol!!  
> What do you guys think?  
> Go on...Review!!!!!


	25. Lone Wolf

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm nervous to post this chapter....  
> There is smut towards the end of the chapter.....so you have been warned.  
> A lot happens in this chapter, hope you guys like it.  
> Don't forget to review guys!  
> Enjoy!

Looking back to the gate I could see the small convoy coming through the gates. T-dog locking the gate behind them with a new padlock. Watching them until they made it to our new camp.

As everyone hopped out of the vehicles, I saw them smiling, seeing if things went ok we could have a few days’ rest before we had to move on again.

 

Setting up camp was relatively easy. We angled the Cherokee and Prius on an angle to limit the gap at the front of our units. Finding a small abandoned car, we moved it and then tipped in on its side, wedging it in between the other gap. Now the only way they would be able to enter the camp would be to go through the gap between the vehicles. T-dog had found a ladder so it made it easier to climb up and down from the trailers. I was now trying to figure out where I was sleeping. Rick, Lori and Carl were sleeping in one trailer, Hershel Beth, Maggie and Glenn were sleeping in the other. Leaving T-dog, Carol, Daryl and I to sleep in the trailer that had been housing the two walkers. The smell made my stomach lurch slightly as I put my head inside to test how bad it was. It was bad. I scrunched my nose up at the smell on the inside. It was going to need a day or two air out at least before I would consider sleeping in there. I would rather sleep on the ground or in the truck than in there right now.

 

“Ain't no way I'm sleeping in there, not till it’s had a good air out. I'll sleep by the fire, keep watch for a bit, before someone else takes over.” I said folding my arms across my chest.

“You were on watch last night” Daryl grumbled.

“So?” I arch an eyebrow at him.

“You should 'ave a night off” Daryl glares at me.

“I don't need a night off” I growled.

“God, you two fight like an old married couple” T-dog chuckled. Both Daryl and I narrow our eyes at him. “Ok maybe not” he said defensively, holding his hands up in mock surrender. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Glenn trying to hold in his laughter.

“Whatever I'm going hunting. Be back later” I grumbled, bow over my shoulder, stalking out to the woods.

 

I was surprised no one had followed me out. I expected someone, mainly Daryl to follow me out or advise it wasn't a good idea to go out on my own. But no one did. I felt happier once I hit the tree line.

I just needed to get away for a bit, Daryl's insistence I do nothing was grating my nerves. Maybe it was just having to live in such close quarters with these people all the time. They weren't bad people by any means, it’s just that we are living on top of each other at the moment. I miss my solidarity at times. If I had a choice I wouldn't go back to that, just at times I like to not have anyone else around. Just me and my thoughts.

 

I stalked through the trees looking for any sign of game in the area. _A distraction_. But not seeing much of anything as I entered to woods. There had to be something, I would just need to trek a little further in.

 

 

With a stroke of luck, I came across a deer trail, I had only been walking about ten minutes before I spotted it. The tracks indicated it wasn't fully grown and probably a female. The idea that we could have a decent meal tonight was a good prospect. So, I pressed forward.

 

I had been tracking a small doe for about half a mile. Luckily only coming across one walker on my hunting trip, I hoped it hadn't scared off the deer. But as I followed the tracks it looked as though luck was still on my side.

I came to small clearing and finally saw my dinner. This is probably the part where it turns into a cartoon of a roast on a plate with food smells wafting upward and towards me. But we weren't in a cartoon, it was just a doe, happily eating and unaware of me.

I watched and waited, a bolt in the string ready to fire when I could get a good shot off. I wasn't about to waste a half-assed shot that would end up making the doe bolt and then having to chase after it. The shot had to be as close to fatal as possible. 

Finally, it turned broadside towards me and I had my shot. I took a breath as I released the bolt, hitting it right where I needed to, just behind its shoulder, aiming for the heart and lungs.

As expected the doe bolted away, but I knew with that shot it wouldn't go very far. I shouldered my bow and took another look around the clearing, making sure it hadn't attracted any walkers. It seemed to be clear so I made a beeline for where the deer last stood, then started following the blood trail.

It hadn't gotten very far at all, had only been tracking the trail a few minutes when I came across the deer, fallen on its side, bolt sticking into its side, it was still alive but losing the battle.

 

I held a bolt in the string as I cautiously approached the wounded animal. Looking down at the animal I could see it was dying, slowly at least. My first shot had hit it where I needed to, puncturing both of her lungs and possibly the heart. She was bleeding to death from the inside. Pulling the string back I released the bolt aimed for her heart. She took another breath before she stilled completely.

 

I waited a few minutes before I used a bolt to poke the animal, make sure it was really dead. And when it made no movement I, still very cautiously, made my way round to other side of the deer. I grabbed it by the ankles and dragged the body a few feet towards the bank near on the edge of the river rolling it on to its back with its head pointed uphill. It weighed about sixty pounds now, I knew if I gutted and bleed the beast it would make getting it back to camp easier.

I placed both my bow and quiver on the ground, then taking off my hoody, laying it next to them and finally took my hair out of the braid I had put it in yesterday and tied it up into a messy bun. I needed to have my hair out of my face and also when it came to lugging it back to camp, I wanted as little “deer” in my hair as possible.

 

Stepping back over the carcass I grabbed the knife from my boot, took a deep breath and slit the beasts belly, warm blood coating the blade and my hand.

I methodically cut away all the insides from the deer, taking what I could and depositing them down the bank into the river. Once I cut everything loose, I quickly got down by the water’s edge, washed my hands and stepped back over the body, then rolling it onto its side, watching and waiting for the insides to spill out, dripping down the bank and into the water.

At least that would take care of disposing of them. _And attracting walkers._ Had I been at home I would have buried the remains but I didn't have time or a spade to do it. Washing it away would be the next best step.

 

After a few minutes, I drag it back a few feet away from where the blood and guts had spilled out and roll it onto its belly, then lift it by the head as more blood runs out of the body. The more I get out now, the less that will cover me on the walk back.

Finally satisfied it was drained as much as it could be I could start my walk back to camp, which wasn't going to be easy, but by gutting and bleeding the deer it had probably lost about fifteen pounds or so. I needed to get back as I was sure the group would be wondering where I was if I didn't turn up soon. And that meant I didn't have time to string the deer up, dry it properly. That would have to wait till I got back.

I shouldered my bow and quiver, loosening the strap slightly so it wouldn't get crushed by the deer that was about to be slung over my shoulders. I tied my hoody round my waist and then with some grunts and groans I positioned the deer round my shoulders, holding it steady with the two sets of ankles. _I definitely was going to need a massage tonight, the doe on my shoulders was the feather that just tipped the scales._ I grumbled to myself.

 

 

I figured I was still about fifteen minutes away from camp. I was moving slower with the deer on my shoulders. I readjusted the deer for the fifth time in the last ten minutes, small shots of pain radiated through my shoulders and I could feel more blood seep into the back of my shirt. I grimaced at the thought. On the upside, we were eating venison tonight. _Silver fucking lining._ I mused to myself.

 

 

I froze hearing snapping branches behind me. _Of course, this is the moment when a damn walker decides to stumble upon me._ I scan the surrounding woods in front of me, making sure there weren't any more walkers lurking. Nothing. I turned around and shrugged the deer off my shoulders, letting it drop to the ground. I could see two walkers coming through the trees up ahead. I grabbed my bow off my shoulder and a bolt from the quiver, lining up the first shot I didn't hesitate taking down the first walker. It dropped about ten feet from me. I wouldn't have time to line up another shot for the second walker. I grabbed another bolt and charged the walker, backing it up against a tree, using my bow as a barrier and then stabbing the bolt up through the chin and into the brain. Pulling the bolt free, the walker dropped to the ground.

I shouldered my bow and grabbed the bolt stuck in the walker’s head, using my boot to help pull it free. I wiped the black goo on the walker’s shirt and placed it back in my quiver.

Glancing at my hands I saw walker blood smeared over my hands and arms. I was still following the river back, so I quickly crouched down next to the water and washed away the walker blood. I didn't need to contaminate the meat I had just caught.

Looking down at the deer again I sighed. _This venison better be worth the damn trouble._ With a few groans I managed to hoist the deer back onto my shoulders, holding it steady by the ankles, more blood seeping into my shirt. I hoped I wouldn't come across any more walkers. It would be a pain to have to keep dropping the deer and then getting the damn thing back up on my shoulders. It would waste more and more energy.

And so I continued trudging my way back towards camp.

 

 

I saw Carol standing watch on one of the trailers as they came into view through the trees. I hated to think what I looked like right now. I could feel the blood had soaked through the shoulders and collar of my shirt, I was certain I had some in the back of my hair and probably running down the back of my shirt. I was undoubtedly going to jump into the river once I had dropped this off at camp.

 

I had just cleared the tree line when I could see Carol pointing in my direction. _Here comes the cavalry._ Moments later Daryl, Rick, Carl and Glenn appeared weapons pointed at me. I wanted to shake my head for their wrong assumption but the deer on my shoulders restricted my movements.

 

“Don't you think if I was dead I would be eating the damn thing not hauling this through the woods?” I grumble, slightly annoyed.

They all seemed to sigh in relief and lowered their weapons.

“Well you gonna help a lady out or just watch?” I ask looking to them.

I wasn't sure if it was surprise or something else. But my shoulders were killing me, especially after having both my bow and Daryl's crossbow over my shoulders when we were riding earlier. And carrying a forty-five pound deer back to camp had certainly made my shoulder tighten uncomfortably.

Finally, they moved forward to help, lifting the deer off my shoulders. I groaned a little in pain as the weight was lifted.

“You alright?” Rick eyed me.

I nodded. “Shoulders are just a bit sore. Um...so I've gutted and bleed it but think you guys can butcher it while I go clean up. I'm guessing I'm caked in blood right now” I say as I go to rub my neck, only to find it slick with blood, grimacing slightly.

Rick nodded. I could feel Daryl's eyes on me, surely checking to make sure the blood wasn't mine and I didn't have any injuries.

 

Walking back into camp I got several strange looks.

“What the hell happened to you?” Lori asked a bit panicked.

“Hunting. Caught a deer. Bloods not mine” I said nonchalantly. They didn't have anything to fear, wasn't bit, just smothered in deer blood.

“So, the blood isn't yours?” she asked accusingly.

“No” I said flatly. “I'm going to go clean-up” I say walking over to my bag, taking off my bow and quiver, my machete and untying the hoody around my waist.

Beth comes over just as I'm grabbing some clean clothes and shoving them into a plastic bag.

“Here, I got you a clean towel and some soap, looks like ya need it” she grinned, placing them in my bag for me.

“Yeah, I think I do. Thanks” I smile back.

She walks back over to Hershel. Lori is still giving me funny looks, I suppose she waiting for me to turn into one of _them_. She finally looks away when Daryl and T-dog appear holding the deer. _Wonder if I'll get a thank you._ I think as I start to make my way down to the river.

 

 

I stripped out of my boots, socks and jeans, laying them next to my clean clothes and towel. My jeans still seemed to be relatively clean, so they could have a wash another day. Grabbing the soap, I waded into the water, it was cool but not freezing. But I wouldn't be able to stay in here long, otherwise I would risk hypothermia.

I scrubbed as fast as I could, washing my hair and the back of my neck, then stripping out of my remaining clothes and scrubbing the blood, dirt and grime out of them. Now clad in only my underwear I bought my now clean and drenched clothes with me to the shore, placing them on a big rock on the shoreline.

 

I had just picked up my towel, wrapping it round me when I thought I saw movement off to my left. Reaching for my knife, I clutched the towel and stood slowly. A lone walker stumbled out from behind a trailer and was making its way towards me. _Of course, a bloody walker would turn up just as I naked. Perfect timing._ I turned to face the walker, which had now started moving faster towards me. I waited as it came closer, clutching the knife tighter in my hand.

I was just about to strike, when it dropped to the ground, a bolt sticking through its skull. I whirled around to see Daryl standing atop the bank, crossbow still raised. _How long had he been standing there I wonder?_ I'm not sure whether I should be thankful or outraged that he was possibly spying on me.

“How long were you standing there?” I ask raising an eyebrow.

He shifts uncomfortably under my gaze before he turns and walks away. _What the hell?_

I quickly dry myself and get dressed, then wring out the excess water from my clean clothes. I walk over to the walker and pull the bolt free. I'm still wondering how long he had been there. If he had been watching me, the thought doesn't creep me out like it should, it makes me almost smile. _This is just too fucked up. At this rate I would need another cold shower...well swim._

 

Back at camp everyone seems to be very happy about the prospect of having venison for dinner. Who could blame them, I was looking forward to that too.

I reached for my hoody and slowly put it on, pain splintering through my shoulders. They were so uncomfortably tight now. I was going to have to get it fixed tonight or I wouldn't be any use tomorrow.

 

Daryl had been avoiding looking my way ever since I got back from the river, even when I went to go say thank you he walked off in the other direction. _Was he embarrassed that he had been caught?_ I'd confront him sooner or later, I don't think I was mad.

 

 

I poked my head into the trailer to see how bad the smell was now. It still smelled pretty rank. It would probably need another day or several cans of air freshener if we found some. There was no way I would be sleeping in there tonight and I doubted any of the others would be. After a bit of discussion, it was decided that Carol and T-dog would sleep in Rick's trailer, Daryl was on watch and I decided I would sleep next to the fire. It didn't bother me to sleep outside, even with everyone else sleeping inside. It would just be for a night. I had walked away before anyone could protest, feeling quite smug. That was squashed, when about twenty minutes later T-dog came back into camp carrying a tent. I reluctantly thanked him. Now he was the smug one.

 

Daryl had butchered the deer and we figured we would have enough for the next few days. And that was down to the size of the deer and we also had nowhere to store it.

Lori, Carol and Beth prepared dinner, it smelt mouth-watering.

Dinner was amazing. It was only venison with some herbs that we had found, simple but tasty. I hadn't eaten that good in weeks, none of us had. I felt full. And clean. Damn today had been a good day. _Don't jinx it._

Quiet conversations were had around the fire. Everyone seeming to enjoy the break from the madness. It felt peaceful for once. _Long may it last._

 

“How long did you track the deer for?” Rick asked as he sat beside me, pulling me from my trance.

“Just over half a mile I reckon. Hardly any walkers either, so that was lucky. Only came across two on my way back. Was a pain, had to drop the deer, take them out and then get the damn thing back up on shoulders” I instinctively reached out massaging my shoulders. They were still so tight and sore.

“They still bothering you?” he asked.

I nodded. “Forty-five pounds of deer will do that to you” I snort.

“Should get someone to help you with that” he smirked and I was sure his eyes flicked up to Daryl on top of the trailer. I rolled my eyes. I wasn't about to ask Daryl, especially since he had been avoiding me since the river.

“A good night’s sleep should do the trick” I lie. And I'm sure Rick saw through the lie too but he never argued it.

 

 

I was lying on my back now, just looking at the stars. It had been months since I had the opportunity to admire them.

I watched as Carol had taken a plate up to Daryl still perched up on the top of the trailer on watch. I couldn't help but eavesdrop on their conversation.

“Ya know there's room in trailer for you” she said.

I heard him grunt a reply.

“You'll need some where warm to sleep after you have finished your watch” she said quieter this time.

I didn't hear if he replied or not. I honestly didn't know what to make of the situation, I wasn't even sure I was jealous. Carol was going to do whatever she could to get Daryl. I on the other hand, was confused. I continued staring at the stars.

When I propped my head up to look at the group, only T-dog, Glenn and Maggie remained. Everyone else must have already turned in for the night.

“Thought ya might have fallen asleep, was afraid we were gonna have to carry ya to bed” Maggie jests me.

“Just looking at the stars, got a bit lost” I say stretching, wincing a little at the pain in my shoulders. “Do you think you can do me a favour?” I ask biting my lip.

“Sure” she asks suspiciously.

“I pulled all the muscles in my shoulders today, think you can help work out some of the kinks for me?”

I saw her eyes too flicker to Daryl. I ignore the look. If I make a scene it will only make it worse.

I sat myself in front of her and finally got some of the relief I was needing all day. I made sure to keep my sighs to myself. That would also no doubt cause more teasing. It wasn't long before the massage was getting the rest of my body to relax and I was ready to go get some sleep. I thanked Maggie, said my good nights to T-dog and Glenn and headed for my tent.

I had put my bag in the tent earlier and a blanket. Now looking into the tent, I noticed more blankets, even two pillows and Daryl's bag. _So he was sleeping here? Or just hadn't decided whether he would take Carol's offer yet..._ Honestly, I was too tired to care right now.

 

Changing out of my jeans and wrapping myself in a few blankets, I lay my head on the pillow and instantly grinned. I don't remember the last time I had a pillow. Tonight was going to a good night’s sleep, I could just feel it. Maybe it was more to do with exhausting myself earlier in the day. Thinking back over today, it really had been successful. Trailer park full of goodies, deer for dinner, I'm somewhat clean, I had a night off watch duty and I had a pillow. This had been a good day. I found it very easy to fall asleep that night.

 

 

_I had just walked into the trailer when he pulled against my arm, spinning me round to face him. His eyes holding a look as though I was about to be devoured. I bit my lip, nervously, a little excitement bubbling under the surface._

_Pulling me against him, his lips finding mine instantly, growling into the kiss when he first makes contact. His kisses turn more urgent as he presses me up against the wall, dragging one of my legs up on his hip as he presses himself against me, feeling him hard against me. The barriers of his jeans and my underwear, stopping him from wanting to bury himself in me. I moan into his kiss, causing him to grind harder against me. My hips starting to move with his as I crave more friction._

_He breaks the kiss, alternating between licking, nipping, biting and sucking on my neck. I'm sure there would be some bruises, especially from the biting and sucking. Every time he bites a fresh part of my skin, I moan loudly. I can feel him smirk against my skin each time._

_I reach forward, my hands going straight to his belt, he growls grabbing my hands and pinning them above my head with one hand. I pant loudly as he pulls back, his eyes black with lust, a smirk ever present. I know he's about to have his fun. I bite my lip in anticipation._

_With his free hand, he palms one of my breasts through my top, my nipples already hard and begging to be touched. He seeks one out pinching it lightly through my top, testing how loud he can make me moan, how long it will take for me to beg him to touch me, to fuck me._

_He bends down taking my other nipple in his mouth, teasing me through the fabric of my top. His eyes watching my every breath, every move, every whimper._

_It’s not long before I'm writhing beneath his ministrations. His mouth still assaulting my nipple, he moves his other hand down my stomach, my breathing hitches, anticipating his next move. His nails rake over my skin just above my underwear. I groan, looking down at him, the grin wide on his lips. He dips his fingers past the waistband and finds me slick with excitement. He has me so worked up now. I'm close to giving in and he knows it. He's just waiting for the words. He presses his fingers against my clit, working it mercilessly. I whimper and my legs buckle slightly, his grip on my wrists tighten holding me upright._

_“C'mon I wanna hear ya beg” he groans against my neck. I only manage to get a moan out. His finger continues to circle my clit and I can feel myself getting wetter. He moves his hand down, roughly pushing two fingers into me, moving them in tortuously slow as I clench around his fingers each time he withdraws them. I can feel the heat bubbling up inside, I'm so close._

_“Daryl” I finally moan..._

I jerked awake, panting, my body hot with sweat. Then images from my dream returned to me, my body still flush with excitement. _Holy shit...I was having a sex dream about Daryl. Shit. I'm so glad he wasn't around for that. This is so embarrassing._ My breath is still coming out in pants. That dream was so real. I can still feel the excitement pulsing through my body. I was sure I was wet too.

 

“What's wrong? Ya called my name” Daryl grunted sleepily beside me. _Shit. When did he come in? How much had he heard?_

I froze. In panic? In shame? In embarrassment? I wasn't sure. I think maybe a mixture of all three.

He turned over, looking at me through hooded eyes. I must have looked like a deer in headlights. _Say something!_

“Um...dream” I mutter.

“Bad dream?” he said through a yawn.

I freeze, my breath hitches in my throat “Um...” I stutter. _Shit all the words are stuck in my throat, it’s like my damn tongue won't let me lie._

He looks at me, and in the darkness I can see him narrowing his eyes slightly, trying to figure out what was going on. He knew something was up.

“What's up?” he asked as he shifted closer to me. “Yer' actin' weird”

“Just...just forget it Daryl” I stuttered. _God his name sounded so sinful right now. Damnit I needed a cold shower or..._ I shook my head.

“No...tell me” he said and it was more of a command.

I swallowed nervously, covering my eyes with my hands. “I had a dream...about... _you_ ” I mumbled the last part.

“What? Me? Why?” he asked, he seemed confused. _I really don't want to spell this out. It was embarrassing enough what I had just said._

I sighed. _Fuck._

He continued to stare at me, until finally it seemed to click. He cleared his throat awkwardly. I was still hiding behind my hands, too embarrassed to face him right now.

“Ya wouldn't be blushin' if you were havin' a bad dream” I could hear his smirk. And his comment only seemed to increase the blush covering me now. I was having trouble coming up with a witty remark, my brain was still flashing images of my dream in my head. I wanted to groan in frustration.

“So, are ya gonna tell me the dream or not?” he asked nervously.

“Are you gonna tell me how long you were standing at the river for this afternoon then...you never answered me earlier” I ask, my face still hiding behind my hands.

I hear him shift beside me. “Wasn't there that long.”

It didn't quite give me an indication to how much he had seen. But since he avoided me pretty much for the rest of the day, I'd say he seen me with a little less than the towel I had been clutching when the walker showed up. _Shit he didn't expect me to answer him now, did he?_

“I told you...so...” he said quietly.

“Barely” I mumble. “I had a dream about you, ok?”

“Ya said that already...So?”

“Soooo what? What if was a dream about me putting a machete through your head? Do you want to hear about that?” I say, trying to back out of the hole I was digging.

“From the way you were moanin' and pantin' I doubt it was about that” he smirks. _Smug bastard!_

I've gone frozen again. He had heard a lot more than I had originally thought.

“You're right, it was that kind of dream...That what you wanna hear?” I mumbled out, still not able to look him in the eyes, afraid I would burst into flames or something with how embarrassed I was.

“So, this dream...” he mused. _God, he wasn't going to let this go. I wish I could die from the embarrassment right now._ _I needed to turn this back on him, make him nervous._

“So, you weren't spying on me today then?” I said, a hint of teasing in my voice.

He cleared his throat, shifting slightly beside me. I grinned. Then I felt the heat from his body radiating towards me. He had shifted closer to me, I wasn't sure if that was his intention but I could take advantage of this situation. I peeked out from under my hands, to see that he had indeed shifted closer.

“Wasn't spying” he mumbled.

“I was naked and if you weren't spying what were you doing there? Coming to join me?” I tease.

I watched him shift again, then freeze, his hand starting to reach out towards me only to stop. He was thinking too much. I think he wanted to make a move, but resolved to leaving it to me to push. We had teased a bit over the last few days, kisses, teasing touches, words laced with wants and needs.

“Fuck it” I mumbled and leaned over, pressing my lips to his, waiting to see how badly I misread the situation. He froze instantly. _Shit. Just apologise and then move to the edge of the tent._

I pulled back, muttering an apology. “Sorry...didn't mean to...shit...such a fucking idiot...” Grabbing my blankets and moving away from him, turning over to face the wall. _So, the dream had got the better of me. I had completely misread the situation. Idiot!_ As I lay there stewing over what I did, I was waiting for him to bolt out of the tent or yell at me...something. But he just lay there unmoving and silent. I wasn't sure if it was shock or anger or something else.

 

“Why'd you...” he trailed off.

I sighed, finally something. “I thought...I thought, I dunno...I had it wrong” I mumbled.

“Ya didn't 'ave it wrong” he said quietly.

I glanced over my shoulder at him, trying to get a read on him. The tent too dark for me to see his face completely.

“Why'd you leave me hanging?” I ask.

He looks to me, “Caught me off guard” he smirks.

I lay my head back down on the pillow, smiling. I wasn't going to make another move. At least not tonight. The moment had passed and I was afraid I would look like an idiot for the second time tonight., regardless of what he had just said. I resolved that I would try to get back to sleep. I just hoped I wouldn't have another dream like before, as good as it was, it made things so much more frustrating.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So....what did you guys think?  
> So much happened in that chapter...The idea of gutting a walker, no problem, the idea of gutting a deer makes me squeamish. How strange is that??? The Walking Dead has made me indifferent to walker gore lol!! But I did actually enjoy writing that part, it was different.  
> Should Daryl or Camille make the first move next time?  
> Let me know what you thought of this chapter...


	26. Bad Company

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Swear I'll update sooner next time. Kinda got distracted re-watching TWD and writing future chapters. Had an epiphany at 10pm one night and didn't stop writing till 8am. Slightly crazy. But where I originally thought I was going with this story will be taking a sharp left turn in a few chapters.  
> So who's excited with Season 5 starting back. I am so amped!  
> Hope you enjoy this chapter, I had fun writing some of the conversations, especially with Carl.  
> Remember to review!!!

It was taking me longer than I expected to fall back asleep, every time I closed my eyes I would see images from my dream. And I was sure Daryl was awake as well, he kept shifting, huffing several times, his breath never evened out, so I knew he wasn't asleep. So now my dream was not only affecting me, but him as well. Under normal circumstances that would have made me laugh but the effect on me was too damn frustrating.

I closed my eyes again, more explicit images coming forth, making me growl.  
“Do ya always growl in yer' sleep?” he asked frustrated. So that had been out loud. Interesting.  
I couldn't help but smile. “I don't know, do I?” I chuckle. How was I supposed to know if I growled in my sleep? “Just can't get back to sleep.”  
“Me either” he sighed. “So, tell me bout the dream...”  
“Isn't that the reason why we both can't sleep? Won't that just make it worse?” I reply.  
“Well ya could just show me...” he said quietly.  
I wasn't sure I had just heard him right. I glanced back over my shoulder to see he hadn't moved much. He was laying on his back, arms behind his head, staring up at the tent roof.  
“Cos that worked out so well before” I sighed turning over, my shoulder starting to hurt. He glanced quickly at me before resuming his stare down at the roof. I readjusted the blankets again, closed my eyes and tried once again to get back to sleep. And failing to do so as more images from my dream kept taunting me. I scrunched my eyes tighter, resisting the urge to growl.

 

I froze when I felt his breath against my cheek. When did he move closer? I hadn't even heard him shift. The heat once again radiating from him. I kept my eyes closed, just in case I was dreaming. That damn dream will be the death of me. I took a shaky breath in, not realising I had been holding it.  
In the back of my head, I was trying to stop myself from what I was about to say but my “Fuck it” attitude pushed it way forward.  
“So you gonna kiss me or what Dixon?” I said with a bit of sass.  
I heard him freeze, his breath halting as my words tumbled out. He mumbled something I couldn't make out then moved forward crashing his lips into mine. Now I was the one who was stunned, regardless of what I had said seconds before.  
I wasn't about to let him pull away, so I kissed him back, putting all my frustrations from my dream into that kiss.  
He made a growling sound as I tugged him closer. I couldn't help the smirk on my face.  
“Now who's the one growling” I chuckle.  
“Shut it woman” he growled before crashing his lips against mine again, his hand winding into my hair.

And the kiss was surprisingly gentle. Very different from my dream. The dream had been rough and needy and this...this was the way you would kiss someone who you really cared for. Panic and doubt started to creep into my mind, I wasn't sure if I could go through with it. As bad as I want him, I'm afraid I'll fuck it up and cause a huge divide in the group, where I would have to leave and go back to being on my own again.

His tongue tracing my bottom lip pulled me from my thoughts. Distracting me, whether he knew he was doing it or not I didn't care. I just wanted more of him.  
Blankets started getting pushed aside as we both wanted more friction and less barriers between us. He pushed himself back on his arms, leaning over me, both of us breathing heavy.

As he leaned in to kiss me this time, the kiss was more demanding. Now this seems familiar. And I can feel myself aching for him to touch me. Wanting the dream to become reality. His tongue twisting against mine, sending tingling pleasure through-out my body. His hands grasping my hip tightly. I have one hand fisted into his shirt trying to pull him closer, even though he's as close as he can be. And my other hand is gripping his biceps, which seem to twitch under my touch. I'll take that as a positive sign.

As he pulls back this time, our breathing is both coming out ragged. I can't help the grin on my face. He shies away shaking his head and moves to settle back next to me but pulling me close against his chest. Our breathing slowly starting to return to normal. And it isn't long before I fall back asleep curled up against him. Only slightly frustrated this time, some of the tension had been worked out into the kissing. But there was still more left for another day.

 

I was woken to Daryl shifting behind me, trying to get his arm back without waking me, which he hadn't realised he had already done. I was about to speak up when he spoke, well mumbled to himself.  
“Shit” he mumbled, as he pulled his arm free. I closed my eyes feigning sleep and heard him shuffle round the tent, getting dressed as fast as he could. And I was sure I heard another mumble, “Fucking idiot...shouldn't have...” he scolded himself.  
So, he regretted last night? I couldn't help but feel disappointed and a bit rejected at that point. I had thought that we could at least be civil, it’s not like we had slept together. It hadn't been that bad surely? He seemed to enjoy it at the time.  
And I had a feeling that today he was going to be weird around me. Great just what I need. I hoped that I could get by without having to run into him then. That would be the easiest option, although I'm sure Rick will try to stick me with him if there was something that needed to be done. Or he would disappear hunting on his own so he could really avoid me. This is why I didn't want to get involved. Emotions and feelings fuck everything up. I growled inwardly to myself.

 

As we discussed what the plan was for today I noticed Daryl was nowhere to be seen. I had been right, Daryl had declared he was going to hunt and scout the area, on his own. Rick had given me a funny look as he told the group this. Was it written on my head? And I highly doubted Daryl would volunteer that information. It would be easier to get blood out of a stone than get Daryl to talk about that.

The rest of us were going to scavenge through the trailers. See if there really was a goldmine in this place. Surely there had to be something worth taking. I doubted we would find much food but we would be looking anyway. I hoped there weren't too many other walkers hiding out in the trailers. It would make looking round in the trailer unpleasant.

Lori, Beth and T-dog were staying around camp. T-dog and Carol switching between watch. I was going with Rick to search the trailers and Carl was also coming with us. He had pleaded his parents if he could come along, saying how helpful he would be. Lori had reluctantly let him come but he was to listen to Rick and I and stay within our sight. He was a bit put out when we wouldn't let him have a gun. Yes, he'd had some training but any noise he was bound to let off a round that could hurt someone or himself, so Rick had dug out a hatchet for him, which he was quite fond of. Swatting it through the air at his imaginary enemy.

 

We were going to start at the far side near the river and work our back, while the others were at the other end. We had come across a few husks of walkers but nothing that was “alive”. There was still a threat that they could wander in either side of the park as we were surrounded by woods, the fences broken in places. We kept our eyes and ears open for any trouble.

 

“So, what did you say to Daryl this morning?” Rick asked from beside me as he kicked a husk. It made no movement so we carried on.  
“What'd ya mean?” I said keeping my eyes forward.  
“Tried to get him to take you hunting this morning but he declared you would just get in the way, which is bull...” he said with a smirk. “So, what did do?” he asked, in a tone that suggested he was fishing for details more than anything else.  
“No idea” I replied, but he raised an eyebrow at me, he didn't believe me.  
I wasn't about to start gossiping with Rick about what happened. And I was sure Daryl would rather I kept my mouth shut, whether it was good or bad news concerning him. He was a private person. Maybe I would try to steal Maggie later, I knew she could be trusted when it came to asking advice. Not that I didn't trust Rick, but he was more likely to say something to Daryl. And then Daryl would come back to me, scowl present on his face and probably cuss me out...or something to that effect.

 

We had searched through two trailers, luckily with no walkers inside. One had been completely cleaned out. It looked like the previous owners had taken everything with them. That was a bust. The next trailer was just messy, I think. A dirty dish on the counter, unmade bed, empty beer cans on the floor, dirty clothes thrown on the floor. Definitely had a “man's” touch to the place.  
Carl perked up when he found a revolver hidden under the mattress, only to be disappointed thirty seconds later when Rick took it off him.  
“Why can't I have it? I know it’s not a toy...I just want to be able to protect Mom and everyone else” he said folding his arms across his chest. I was waiting for him to start stomping his feet because he wasn't getting his way, but he didn't.  
“You still need some more training” Rick replied as he tucked the weapon in the back of his jeans.  
“But I had that training on the farm” Carl protested.  
“I know but there's more to it than being able to shoot” Rick sighed.  
“Your dad's right, kiddo. I'd be happy to teach ya some more, if your parents are ok with it” I said looking to Rick for approval. He nodded.  
“Awesome” Carl exclaimed. “Will ya let me use your bow and arrows?” he asked.  
I smiled. “My bow will be too big for you buddy, we'd need to find you a smaller one, or maybe we can try make one” I said as I rifled through a drawer.  
“That would be so cool, then you can take me hunting!” he said excited.  
I could see Rick just shaking his head. What had I gotten myself into?

We took what we thought would be useful, shoving it into a bag before coming to stand in front of the exit. Rick signalled us to stop. As I peered out the window I could see two walkers stumbling around outside. Where did they come from? Rick looked to Carl, who nodded, taking out his hatchet and stepping a few feet behind me, away from the door. I took the bow off my shoulders and grabbed a bolt.  
I stood in front of the door, notching it in the string, pulling it back. I nodded to Rick, he counted down from three in barely a whisper, before flinging the door open which immediately got the attention of both walkers. I took down the first, the second one still approaching, Rick grabbed a kitchen knife that was laying on the bench and just as the walker got to the doorway, he plunged the knife into the skull, the body dropping to the ground with the knife still in its head.  
Rick instantly looked to Carl, making sure he was ok, even though he hadn't been in danger. I grabbed another bolt, placing it in the string as I quietly stepped over the walker, scanning our surroundings, listening for shuffling feet, making sure the coast was clear.  
“We're good out here” I call softly, just in case there were more lurking around. Didn't need to attract more of them to us.  
Rick emerged a few seconds later, Carl following behind him carrying the bag.  
“Let's check out a few more then head back” Rick said. I nodded and took point.

 

We had just finished checking the fifth trailer when Carl spoke up.  
“So, is Daryl your boyfriend?” he asked.  
I froze, probably a look of “deer in the headlights” look on my face.  
“Wh-what?” I spluttered.  
“Is he your boyfriend? Cos he's always looking at you and you're always looking at him” he mused.  
I saw from the corner of my eye, Rick trying to contain his laughter. Seriously? I didn't just get blindsided by a kid??  
“No, he's not my boyfriend” I sigh. Slightly annoyed that a 13 year old caught me off guard with boyfriend questions.  
“Whys he not your boyfriend?” he asked cocking his head to the side, genuinely confused. As he thought he had it all figured out.  
“We're just...friends” I hesitate on the last word and that doesn't go unnoticed by Rick. I'm avoiding looking at him and he knows it.  
“Well he should be your boyfriend” Carl grins.  
I just shake my head. Rick walks past me taking point. As he passes I hear him mutter, “Just friends” he chuckles walking ahead. I motioned for Carl to follow his dad.

 

Getting back to camp, we went through all that we had bought back, it was mostly weapons, assorted ammo, meds and few other random things that we thought would be useful. I did find a bottle of tequila, good stuff too, so I put that next to my bag. It would help keep me warm later on watch.  
We stored what we needed to in the vehicles. We had learnt to be packed up and ready to go at a moment’s notice. If a herd rolled through, they wouldn't give us the courtesy of waiting till we had packed all of our shit before we could leave. We only took the bare essentials that we needed for the night inside the trailers.  
I did wish we could find somewhere that we could settle into. I wanted to unpack. I wanted to make a room or a space mine. I didn't need to have it decorated in movie posters or paint it some ridiculous colour. I just wanted a space that I could unpack my shit and not have it constantly ready to go.

Lori and Beth informed us that they had been working hard to clean out the other trailer. Getting the walker stench out of the place. I smiled walking straight over there. Poking my head in the door, it had an aroma of bleach now. I would prefer that over what it smelt like before. We would still air it out for a few hours before we headed to bed, just to get rid of some of that bleach smell too. Just to be safe. Don't want to get all high from the fumes.  
There was a double bed at one end of the trailer and two single beds at the other end. In my head I was silently wondering who was sleeping where. I didn't want to assume I would be sharing with Daryl, not after this morning’s reaction. Maybe I was being over-dramatic about the situation? Well I wouldn't have to deal with the sleeping arrangement till after I was finished watch. And if worse came to worse, the tent was still up, so I could sleep in there. And as I thought about it more and more, it seemed like the better option.

 

Just as we started preparing dinner. Daryl strode into camp, a few squirrels and a rabbit slung over his shoulder next to his crossbow. I could feel the tension coming from him as soon as he got back. So, his day of hunting hadn't done anything for his attitude he had this morning. Guess I wasn't over-thinking this morning. Great, more avoiding. Rick had asked him what was up and I overheard him giving some bullshit answer. I just kept my head down. I hadn't done anything wrong. We were both adults. Whatever move I make, sexual or not, past or present, it’s the wrong move.  
I busied myself with dinner, anything to distract me.

 

We were now sitting down to have dinner, enjoying another night of venison in some kind of stew. I hadn't really been paying attention when we had been preparing it. I noticed I do that a lot these days, zone out while preparing dinner, then wonder what I'm eating when dinner time comes around.  
Everyone ate it happily. It was worth dragging the damn thing back to camp. At least food could put a smile on my face. Everyone was mostly sat around the fire, Glenn was on watch and Daryl had set himself back from the group, sitting in front of the tent. I hope he doesn't plan on sleeping in there tonight. I grumble inwardly to myself.  
Rick directed his attention to me, bringing me out of daze.  
“You all good for tonight?” he asked.  
“Yup, bottle of tequila to keep me company” I said quietly to him.  
He raised an eyebrow at me, “You think that's a good idea?”  
I rolled my eyes. “Yes, dad I do” I chuckled as did he. “It’s just to keep me warm, not get me drunk. Nights are getting colder and sitting on top of that trailer, got no protection. Promise I won't over do it” I said with a smile. Out of the corner of my eye I could see Lori giving me a funny look. I dismissed the thought that she was jealous. I knew it was bothering her that he wouldn't talk to her any more. I would try later to talk to Rick again about that.

I finished the remainder of my dinner, putting the dirty dish in the bucket and walked off to the tent. Unconsciously holding my breath as I approached. Daryl looking up as I did, I kept my eyes down as I walked around him, unzipping the tent. I shouldered my bow, grabbed the bottle of tequila and draped one of the blankets over my shoulder and headed back outside, zipping it behind me.  
“You on watch?” he gruffly asked, which had surprised me. I had expected silence above anything else.  
“Um yeah” my voice so small at the moment. He grunted a reply. And that was the extent of our conversation. If you could call it that.

I carefully made my way up the ladder, the bottle gripped tight as I climbed. I set it on the roof just as I was at the top and then pulled myself up.  
“We saved some dinner for ya” I said to Glenn.  
He grinned at me. “Good, it smelt so good from up here.”  
“It was. How's it been?” I asked  
“Quiet” he said handing me the rifle. “Think it’s gonna get cold tonight” he said looking out into the darkness.  
“That's why I bought that” I said pointing to the bottle. Glenn shook his head and made his way down the ladder. I dropped the blanket and my bow on top of it and paced up and down the trailer every few minutes. Just trying to get my mind focused on the task ahead of me. As boring as it was.

 

An hour or two later I heard people starting to turn in for the night. Carol and T-dog saying goodnight to me as they entered the trailer below. I wouldn't pace as much now, trying to give them a good chance to get some sleep. As I looked below at the fire, only Rick and Hershel remained. I hadn't seen Daryl since earlier. He must have already turned in for the night.  
A shudder rolled through me, so I took a seat, with my back to the fire, I grabbed the blanket wrapping it round myself and taking a large swig from the bottle. It burned my throat in the most delicious way. It was one of the few spirits I enjoyed drinking straight. And it had many happy memories attached to it. I only took the one swig for now, savouring the burn. I was going to stay true to my word to Rick. I was meant to be responsible while I was on watch. And I wasn't going to let him down.

 

Half an hour later I heard someone coming up the ladder and felt slightly relieved and disappointed when Rick appears at the top.  
“What are you doing up?” I ask as comes over to sit next to me.  
He stays silent for a moment before answering. “Don't want to go to sleep just yet”  
“You mean you're avoiding your wife?” I say bluntly.  
Rick snaps his head round to me, glaring for a second before his eyes soften and he sighs, nodding in agreement.  
“You need to talk to her” I say quietly. “I know you don't want any advice when it comes to her. But you should talk to her”  
“I know. Just not ready to just yet. I will.” he says staring out to the darkness.  
I reach over and grab the bottle offering it to him, he takes a swig, grimacing at the taste. I can't help but chuckle.  
“You can't avoid her forever” I sigh.  
“No...I can't” he says taking another swig.  
He was silent for a minute before he spoke again.  
“Sorry for Carl's questioning earlier, guess he gets that from me” he said holding the bottle out to me. I gratefully accepted it taking another swing and setting it down between us.  
“So, are you gonna tell me what's goin on between you two?” he probes.  
“Ask Daryl” I smirk, knowing full well Daryl wasn't going to say anything, or well I was sure he wouldn't. Whatever was happening. Hell, I'm not sure myself, so I would be curious to find out what the answer is if he confesses to Rick.

We stray off the topic of Daryl thankfully. And he tells me the plans for tomorrow. More scouting and scavenging.  
“So, are you ok with me teaching Carl some more skills with weapons? He's your kid but I don't want to step on yours or Lori's toes in this.”  
“Yeah, I think it would be good, he not exactly listening to anyone these days but watching him today, he follows your lead...I'll talk to Lori about it” he says looking at the bottle, unsure whether he should have some more.  
“You should be heading to bed, otherwise you won't be good to take over for me later and I'll definitely need some energy if I'm going to keep up with your son tomorrow” I say with a smile. He nods in agreement and makes his way to the ladder.

 

For the next few hours I'm left on my own to watch over everyone. Looking out into the darkness, clutching the blanket tighter around me. Freezing every time I hear something rustle or crack in the distance. From what I could tell it only seemed to be animals, I had yet to see a walker. And that's the way I liked it.  
I managed to occupy myself letting my thoughts drift back to before the apocalypse. Trying to find something happy to hold on to, remembering the good times, avoiding thinking about what has happened back home.

I wrapped the blanket round me tighter. I couldn't wait to curl up and go to bed. I wasn't overly tired, just cold.

 

About an hour later my prayers were answered when Rick appeared at the top of the ladder.  
“Good, I'm ready for bed” I mumbled, more to myself.  
I stood, dropping the blanket and stretching.  
“Have any trouble?” he asked through a yawn.  
“Not a peep. Damn cold though” I said, as I watched my breath in front of my face. “Do you need this?” I asked, pointing to the blanket.  
“Nah bought my own, go get some sleep” he said reaching for the rifle. I nodded and made my way down the ladder. I picked up my bag from beside the door and quietly opened the door to the trailer. I could hear T-dog snoring softly on one of the single beds.

I can't say I didn't feel a pang of jealousy and something else when I came in to see T-dog on one of the single beds, the other vacant. The door to the “bedroom” with the double bed closed. Was he was in there with her? I didn't hear anything but it stung. This is why you shouldn't get close to anyone. Ever! Fucking emotions and feelings fuck everything up.  
I picked my bag up and stepped back out of the trailer, closing the door silently. I didn't look up at Rick, who was surely wondering what I was doing and why I wasn't sleeping in the trailer.  
“Sleeping in the tent” I mumbled before stepping inside and zipping it closed.  
And as I settled, wrapping the blanket around me, I felt a tear escape. Fucking emotions!

 

I woke the next morning sore and grumpy. I was going to have to go hunting or something to take my mind off him. I was sure nothing had happened, more Carol just feeling smug because she got one up on me. And I was probably blowing it all out of proportion, my mind getting the better of me, over analysing once again.  
I stretched working out the kinks from my sleep. Although I woke up grumpy I had slept relativity well. I felt rested for once, which was hard to come by these days and even with being on watch last night.

I could see the sun had already risen, only barely. I shrugged off the blankets and found some clean clothes to changes into, I shouldered my bow and tucked my knife into my boot.  
No one really seemed to be up. Except for Lori who was sitting by the fire, boiling some water. I looked back to the trailer to see Hershel had taken over for Rick. I spied Rick standing by his truck.  
I smiled at Lori as I passed, making my way to Rick. I needed to tell him my plans for today. He was going to have an opinion about it I was sure.

“Do you need me for today? I was thinking of going hunting. We've got enough deer for another meal or two if we stretch it but after that we'll be dipping into our supplies. I saw a few game trails the other day, think I could find something else” I said to Rick as he looked up from the map sprawled out over the hood of the truck.  
“Shouldn't be out there alone. Take Daryl with ya” he says, he wasn't asking, he was telling me. My escort for the day. Although at least he would be helpful with tracking and hunting. I could see benefits. But I really didn't want to have to spend the whole day with him. It was awkward enough as it was.  
“You really think that's a good idea?” I say arching an eyebrow at him.  
“I do. And if you find another deer, you'll have help to drag it back. Don't want ya hurting yourself like you almost did last time” he smiled.  
I sighed defeated. He was right. I would need the help if it came down to it. Damnit.

 

I stood at the Cherokee with Rick looking over the map. He pointed out various areas on the map, looking for somewhere to go next, if this place doesn't work out. Pointing to where we were on the map. I looked to see where I should be heading today, with the river right beside us, following it seemed the logical choice. I think tracking parallel to the water source was our best bet. I would get Daryl's opinion on it before we leave but I was sure he would agree with me.

“How cold do you expect it to get in winter?” I ask, not really knowing what to expect for winter time. I didn't exactly study the weather before I left on this trip. All I remembered was when it was winter here it was summer back home. But had no clue how cold or hot it would get. Although I had already experienced how hot the summers could get.  
“Don't know. Hopefully no snow. But I wouldn't count it out” his eyes still firmly on the map. “When you heading out today?” he asked.  
“Soon as Daryl's up.”  
Rick glanced at me sideways, smirking.  
“What?” I ask.  
“Nothing” he laughed.  
“What Rick?” I narrowed my eyes.  
Before he could answer we both heard the trailer door open, Rick looked back to see who it was, I just kept my eyes on the map. I knew who it was without looking, his eyes on me gave it away.  
He came to stand next to Rick, who had a smug look on his face.  
“Mornin” Daryl grumbled, his voice still a bit sleepy.  
I nodded in acknowledgement, my eyes still on the map.  
“Morning” Rick said looking back to the map.  
May as well get this over with. “Ya wanna go hunting today?” I ask looking to Daryl.  
He narrowed his eyes at me, searching for the ulterior motive it looked like. I shook my head. I think he still expected me to just go off on my own before he gets up, not even bother to tell him, let alone ask him to go with me.  
“Don't look at me like that” I scoffed, “I'd get my ass handed to me if I went on my own. I'm asking politely...If you don't want to, no problem, I'll find someone else.”  
And I didn't mean to make it sound sarcastic or that I was tricking him into coming with me. I knew for a fact he was a fantastic hunter and tracker. The rest of the group would be more of a burden to be honest.  
I could see the amusement in Rick's eyes as he kept looking at the map. I wanted to kick him in the shins.  
“Ya ready?” he huffed.  
“Yeah just need to grab my bag, then we can head out” I said turning back to go inside. Rick started up a conversation with Daryl as I left, as he pointed to the map.

I had just grabbed an empty backpack sitting next to the tent when Maggie and Glenn came out of their trailer.  
“Morning” they both greeted. I nodded at them.  
“Where ya off to?” Maggie asked raising an eyebrow.  
“Huntin” I said.  
“What alone?” Glenn asked a little concerned.  
“No. Rick suggested I have an escort” I said rolling my eyes and nodding my head in the direction of Daryl.  
“Oh really” Glenn teased.  
“Yes really, what do you think I'm going to do? Not all of us are like you two.” I pointed at them both, smirking. Maggie and Glenn both blushing, Glenn a lot more than Maggie.  
“As I said, only going hunting” I said as I rolled my eyes again at Glenn.  
“Give me your bag, I'll grab some food and water for ya” Glenn said holding his hand out for the bag.  
“Um thanks” I smiled handing over the bag, he gave Maggie a look and he followed her inside. I shook my head. Those two were trouble.

I went back to the tent, grabbing my quiver, shouldering it.  
Glenn appeared at the door just as I got to the trailer. There was a look on his face I couldn't quite determine. He almost looked smug. But why?  
“There's some energy bars, some dried fruit and some jerky. Oh, and some water” he said smiling handing the bag back to me.  
“Thanks” I said, taking off my bow and quiver, before strapping the bag to my back and replacing the quiver over my shoulder.  
“Have fun” he chimed. Maggie grinning.  
“Right, see you guys later” I said shaking my head and out towards Daryl. They were both rather chipper this morning. It made me wonder what was going on.

“What took so long?” Daryl asked annoyed as I walked towards him.  
“See ya later today Rick” I said ignoring Daryl's annoyance and started walking out towards the trees. I could hear Daryl behind me. I hoped he wouldn't this grumpy all day. Otherwise it would make for an already long day. I just wanted to enjoy hunting for once. Hopefully once we were in the trees he would go into his happy place. I noticed that more often than not, he seemed to be calmer once he was through the tree line.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So she's off hunting with Daryl....hope he doesn't start yelling at her too much. Go to your happy place Daryl!!! (And take Camille with you ;o) )  
> And what's with Glenn, why is he all smug?
> 
> Love to hear what you guys think??????? I miss the comments lol!


	27. Sitting on top of the world

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Really nervous about posting this chapter. Its about time...is all I can say!  
> Hope you guys enjoy this!

I stayed in front looking for tracks, looking out for walkers and mostly because Daryl didn't trust me to watch his back. _That was his excuse anyway._ Well if I was in front, then I was in control. I got to determine which way we would be heading. If I pointed that out though, he would suddenly insist he should lead, so I kept quiet, feeling a little smug.

 

 

It seemed rather quiet at the moment. Not much activity, hardly any tracks or noise. There was even an absence of walkers. Which I'm not sure was a good thing or a bad thing. I hoped that the lack of walkers didn't mean that there was also a lack of game. It was going to make for a long day, I could feel it. I continued walking south from what I could gather, staying close to the river. I figured that would hopefully give us better odds. And Daryl hadn't said anything, otherwise I would have had a _suggestion_ to move in a different direction. Although it would have sounded more like a command if I suspected.

 

 

“You seeing much of anything?” I ask him, not turning around.

He sighed. “Nah nothin'. Keep followin' the river I reckon.”

I nod, carrying on walking, keeping an eye out for anything. We had been out here for just over an hour, it was too silent. I had thought about asking about the other night and was half tempted to ask if anything happened with Carol but stopped myself several times. He was finally relaxed, I hadn't felt a glare on my back for a while now. So I kept my mouth shut. Why ruin his good mood? And if something had happened he wasn't likely to tell me, he isn't one to kiss and tell I figure. Plus it wasn't my business to know. _Damn I need to stop distracting myself with this shit. At least when I was on my own I wasn't constantly being distracted by day-dreaming about some guy._

 

 

As I passed a tree, too late I heard the scurry of a critter and then the tell-tale **Thunk!** of the bolt hitting its target, pulling me from my day-dreaming and slight rant to myself. I glanced back over my shoulder to see Daryl pulling the bolt from the tree, a squirrel embedded on the arrow. He smirked with his find. I knew he was thinking _“And that's one for me.”_ He caught up to me looking as cocky as ever.

“I let you have that one” I laugh. _Liar. You were distracted thinking about him._

“Bullshit” he smirked. He unexpectedly stuck his arm out in front of me, halting me in my tracks, nearly walking into his arm.

Up ahead were four walkers yet to notice us. Daryl quickly pulled the string back on his crossbow as I loaded the bolt into mine, eyeing up the walker, sending it to the ground, the one next to it dropping to the ground with Daryl's bolt splitting its skull. I quickly reloaded and took down the third walker. As Daryl loaded his bolt it snapped in two, “Shit” he cursed, reaching for another bolt. The moans getting nearer. I grabbed another bolt and took the last one down, watching it drop unceremoniously to the ground ten feet away from us. Daryl nodded to me, a silent thanks, then looking down to the snapped bolt on the ground, frowning. We both walked over retrieving our bolts.

“Is it a bad sign that we've seen more walkers than game?” I ask out loud, not really asking Daryl. He shrugs his shoulders at me, then flicks his head, signalling me to carry on ahead of him. Daryl silently following behind me.

 

 

I had been too focussed looking at the ground for trails that I hadn't noticed the sky was slowly starting to darken in the distance, and with the wind whipping our way, the rain would be here soon enough. And if I had learnt anything since being in Georgia, is that when it rains, it pours. We would need to find some shelter and soon. It was too dangerous being out in the open and not to mention being soaked to the bone probably. Walkers would hear my chattering teeth a mile away.

We wouldn't make it back to camp before the rain hits nor would we be able to hunt. The rain would drown the tracks and the element of surprise and make it hopeless to try and hunt.

Daryl had also seemed to notice to incoming storm clouds.

“We better find somewhere ta hold up” he said scanning the woods.

 

Both of us halted in our tracks when we heard persistent snapping of twigs coming from somewhere around us. That wasn't game or small critters. It had to be walkers, and not just a few. A loud crack of thunder sounded above us, signalling we didn't have very long before the rain would hit. I swallowed nervously as we both tried to listen to what direction the walkers were coming from, so we knew where to avoid. As we listened we both realised it was coming from the direction of the road. And now we couldn't risk heading back to the trailer park, in case we led the herd with us. We needed to draw them away, keep them heading away from our group. But we also needed somewhere to wait out the storm. And the herd.

 

As we looked through the trees we could see the herd and it wasn't a small group, there had to be about close to forty walkers. My face dropped. I had a feeling about the woods being unusually quiet. The wind changed direction for a brief couple of seconds, just enough that it blew our scent straight to the walkers. _Shit._ Heads snapped up at the smell, growling and moaning increased, sounding louder, their pace quickened as they spotted us staggering towards us.

“C'mon we gotta move now!” Daryl growled beside me, pulling my arm. And we started running, Daryl was in front, looking over his shoulder every minute or so, making sure I was keeping up and I was still there.

“Where we gonna go Daryl? Can't go back to the trailer park. We gotta lead them away” I called behind him. _And stay alive._

“Gotta plan, just keep up” he yelled, changing direction slightly. He seemed to know where he was heading. I was following blindly. I didn't dare look behind me as knowing my luck I would find the one stray tree root and trip spectacularly, injuring myself. I kept focussed on Daryl, making sure I didn't lose him through the trees. He wasn't too far ahead of me, but the trees were starting to get thicker and we were having to weave a lot more, slowing us both down. The approaching herd still on our heels. I had hoped we would lose them through the trees, just in case we didn't have somewhere to hide from them but they were so damn persistent.

The sky was continuing to get darker. The rain was going to hit any minute now. I hoped he knew where we were going or at least that we would find somewhere to hold up while both the rain and the herd passed us by.

“This way” Daryl called, heading a little more South, ducking round trees and thick bushes.

 

 

I just about ploughed into him when he came to a stop. Halting as we both came upon what looked to be a ranger tower. It looked to be sitting about twenty feet above the treetops. I just hoped walkers hadn't figured out how to climb.

“Think it'll be safe?” I ask, shouldering my bow.

“Not much choice” he grunted as he looked back to the woods, the herd still approaching before he shouldered his crossbow and started climbing.

As soon as I had enough room I climbed up after him, some of the herd were heading towards the tower after us, where as some had just carried on through the woods, forgetting about us. As I started to climb, one of the walkers got a hold of my ankle and starting tugging, pulling hard enough to make me almost lose my foothold.

“Shit, get the fuck off me” I growled lowly, trying to kick myself free from its grip.

Daryl looked back at me, somehow hearing me over the growling from below. He stopped and waited, unsure what to do. After a third violent kick, I managed to pull myself free from its grasp and started pulling myself back up the ladder again, out of their reach.

“Go, I'm fine” I called to him as he still hadn't moved. He pursed his lips before he started climbing again.

 

I prayed the latch up the top wasn't locked as we would be so screwed otherwise. There wasn't a lock I would be able to pick, so I prayed silently. The rain had started to pour now and was starting to drown out the noise of the walkers below. _Which was saying something..._

 

He was below the hatch now and grabbed his buck knife from his hip, placing it between his teeth, he signalled for me to wait while he made sure it was all clear before I headed up. I was left waiting about half way up the ladder.

 

Opening the hatch, thankfully which had been unlocked, he gingerly pushed it open, waiting a few seconds before peering inside. He scooted up the rest of the way, pushing himself inside and disappearing from my sight, the hatch closing behind him.

I looked below me seeing about fifteen walkers grouped together around the ladder, reaching in vain towards me.

Looking out to the surrounding trees, I could see the rest of the herd moving south, away from us and from the trailer park. The rain was bucketing down now, I was glad we weren't caught out in this, I would have been drenched within minutes. Although it would have almost been a shower. If there weren't walkers surrounding the bottom of the ladder I would be half tempted to strip off and get slightly clean. Which Daryl would have berated me over the fact. I would have ignored his anger and done it anyway. _Not like he hasn't perved before anyway._

 

I was starting to get anxious when Daryl hadn't reappeared, in reality it had only been less than a minute. But I couldn't help but stare up at the hatch, waiting to see him reappear.

Soon enough Daryl poked his head out of the hatch, signalling to me it was all clear. I felt a little relieved as there wasn't an alternate plan.

Once at the top, Daryl helped me up, closing the hatch behind me and latching the bolt across the hatch. Just in case they did figure out how to climb. I doubted they would but there was also a possibility of coming across people as well. Didn't need to be snuck up on. But for the moment we were trapped. Our escape was only possible if less walkers were left at the bottom or they cleared out completely. Because now there were too many to take on.

 

Standing up, I looked around the tower. There wasn't much to it. There was a cot, a few cupboards, a radio, a map outlining the area and a table and chair. It was pretty barren. But I wasn't expecting much more than that. I had expected less to be honest.

The rain was really coming down hard now as it clattered against the tin roof. A sound that always makes me smile.

 

“How long till the storm passes?” I ask taking off my bow and bag and sitting down next to the cot.

“Dunno. Rainin' pretty hard. Just have ta wait it out” he said taking a seat at the table.

“Did you know this tower was here?” I asked

“Yeah saw it on the map earlier” he replied.

_Ah the silence._

 

 

I kicked off my boots and lay down, my hands behind my head. I felt his eyes on me.

“What?” I ask smirking glancing over at him. “We ain't goin' anywhere, anytime soon, so may as well kick back while I can” I say closing my eyes.

I hear him sigh. “Was I supposed to be keeping you entertained?” I ask not opening my eyes. I heard him scoff.

 

“Got anythin' ta eat or drink?” he asked sounding a little annoyed.

“Yeah there's some energy bars, jerky and water in my bag.”

I hear him walk over and unzip the bag, scoffing loudly.

“So, this was yer plan?” he said chucking something at me.

I open my eyes slightly annoyed and pick up whatever he had chucked at me. I freeze seeing the foil packets in my hands.

“Fucking wanker” I mutter under my breath.

“What...?” I cut him off.

“Not you. Glenn. This is his funny idea of a joke or a hint or who the fuck knows. Bastard must have stuffed them into my bag this morning. _I'm going to fucking kill him_ ” I mutter the last part.

Silence hangs between us, “Well this is awkward now” I say sitting up and shoving the condoms back into the bag. Daryl had a look of amusement on his face.

“What? I swear I didn't plan this.” I said a little defensively. I could feel the blush creeping over my whole body it felt like. And this ranger tower couldn't be any smaller. There was nowhere to hide.

“Well you were the one askin' me ta go huntin' today” he challenged.

“Because Rick suggested I have a fucking escort” I huffed.

“So ya didn't want me ta come?” he asked quieter this time, his tone changing.

“Yes and no.” I sigh. He waits for me to give them the rest of the answer, eyeing me when I say nothing. “If I had taken anyone else they would have slowed me down, at least you know how to track.” I say ducking my head. I know he hated compliments.

 

It was a minute before he spoke up. “And the no part?” he asked hesitantly.

 

“Really I have to say it? If I knew you were going to act like such a dick after the other night, shit...” I said shaking my head, then raising my head to stare blankly at him, “It was a kiss Dixon, you either hate it, move on and go back to normal or like it and do something about it” I sigh slightly annoyed, lying back down and closing my eyes. _Why did we have to be trapped in the smallest room fucking possible?_

We both are silent for a while and not long after I can feel myself dozing off. I'm vaguely aware that he's shifting around the room, doing what I wasn't sure. But I couldn't fight the sleepiness overtaking me.

 

I woke groggily, opening my eyes and felt confused as to where I was before I realised Daryl was there and we were still in the ranger tower. I also noticed a blanket had been placed over me.

“How long was I out?” I ask yawning.

“Half an hour” he replies, glancing over to me. _At least he wasn't scowling this time._

 _“_ Have they gone yet?”

He shook his head. The rain was still pouring outside and I could hear the crackle of thunder in the distance. And with the noise from the weather it had drowned out any noise from below.

 

I could feel his eyes on me from across the room, making me squirm. _And he knows it._

“Stop looking at me like that” I try to say without my voice shaking.

“Like what?” he smirks, looking like a predator stalking its prey.

“You know exactly what you're doing, so stop it” I say pushing myself off the bed and walking towards the window. Putting him out of my line of vision. I could still feel the blush hot on my cheeks. _He was never going to let me live this down if he saw. And Glenn was going to get his ass kicked when we got back._

He's making me nervous on purpose because he knows he can. It's fun and frustrating all at the same time. I admit there was an attraction and I was sure it wasn't one-sided but I wasn't about to make the first move. Last time I did that he freaked and bolted out the door. And now we were stuck in a ranger tower together. And I wasn't sure if it was for the better or not. There was an elephant in the room. I had bluntly given him his choices. I guessed while I slept he had thought about what I'd said and now that I was awake, the verdict was in...

 

 

We had been in the ranger tower for just over an hour and the rain seemed to be getting heavier. Both of us silent. Once the blush had started to subside and when Daryl had stopped giving me those predatory looks I was sitting on the cot leaning against the wall. Daryl was looking out the window, binoculars in his hands, scanning the surrounding area. _Ever the hunter._

I was bored.

“What do you miss most from before this?” I ask breaking the silence. He shrugs his shoulders. “There's gotta be something...or someone?” I ask a little hesitantly.

Daryl removes the binoculars from his eyes and looks back at me, a small scowl on his face.

“Fine, I'll shut up...” I say defensively, throwing my hands up. I rest my head up against the wall, close my eyes and sigh, “...was just making conversation” I mutter.

I knew he was tight lipped when he came to talking about himself, his family, pretty much everything. He was a god damn mystery. I wasn't trying to pry or open old wounds, I just thought talking would pass some time as we weren't going anywhere any time soon.

 

As I had my eyes closed I listened to the rain, it was soothing and bought back good memories.

 

One in particular was from when I was back home. _I had gone out for the weekend to go hunting in the bush, an hour away from where I lived. I knew the forecast wasn't going to be good but I was determined to go anyway. A few of my friends and I drove up after work on Friday to a family friend's cabin. It rained the entire night, so we sat around the fireplace with some beers and played poker most of the night._

_Next day we went out hunting, looking for some wild boar. After tracking a couple for a few hours, the rain started up again. But we were all determined to get our dinner so we weren't heading back till we caught the buggar._

_Finally, an hour later we had our kill and now were in the process of carrying it back to the cabin._

_The trail had become slick with the heavy rain, creating nice puddles of mud. I was tired after a long day and wasn't really watching where I was going. My foot caught an uprooted tree root and I, in spectacular fashion, face-planted in a huge puddle of mud. Pulling myself free and standing upright, I was covered from head to toe in mud, feeling it seeping through some of my clothes. My friends had dropped the boar and were almost in tears they were laughing so hard. They had described me as looking like one of those goo covered monsters you see in Scooby Doo. I looked ridiculous. I still had a picture of that in my bag._

_The walk back to the cabin had been long, the mud adding extra weight to my clothing and face and hair, pretty much everything. I had called first dibs on the shower. They never let me forget it either. I would always say something like “I was going for the full body mud mask.”_

It was times like those that I missed. Killing a walker, just isn't as much fun. Its survival, plain and simple.

 

 

With the room still silent, I kept thinking back to the other things I missed. It was easy to get lost in those memories. I had almost forgotten Daryl was there and when I felt the cot beside shift, it startled me briefly. I looked over to see Daryl, who also seemed to be lost in thought.

“Miss ma brother” he said quietly, looking at his hands.

“I've only ever heard you mentioned him once I think. Did you lose him before this?” I ask.

He shook his head. “Got left behind in Atlanta. Handcuffed to a roof...by Rick” I saw him twitch. It had surprised me to hear Rick had done this. “When we went back for 'I’m, wasn't there anymore. Cut off his own hand ta escape. Could be still alive. Tough son of a bitch” he smirked. His eyes fixed on his hands, not daring to look up. I wasn't quite sure what to say. I mean, really what do you say to someone when they tell you something like that.

 

“What do you miss?” he asks after a few minutes of silence.

I thought for a second, the list seemed endless. So, I started listing the first things that came to my head.

“Family, friends, hot showers, clean clothes, the smell of lavender, hunting for fun...” I look to him smiling before continuing, “Chocolate, a proper bed, lasagne, good wine, tequila, limes, movies, sex...” I'd said it before I could catch myself as the word slipped out, mentally slapping myself. _Shit._

I heard him suck in a breath. My cheeks were bright red I was sure. I dropped my head instantly avoiding any eye contact from him. I was talking before I was thinking about what I was saying. In all truth, I did miss it but admitting that to anyone, especially him, I hadn't planned on doing that.

“Really?” he teased. I was sure he was smirking. “So ya really did plan this huh?” he said barely able to suppress his laughter.

“I told ya I didn't plan this” I said frustrated, throwing my hands in the air. “I miss sex, sue me... What? Just cos I'm a girl I can't miss it” my voice still slightly frustrated.

And he had the biggest smirk plastered across his face right now, only making it worse. He was never going to let me live this down.

“Dixon, stop giving me that look” I growled.

“Make me” he challenged.

I rolled my eyes “You and I both know I don't stand a chance.” He was faster, stronger and had quicker reflexes. I wouldn't have any chance at over powering him.

“Chances are better than ya think” he mumbled.

I turned to face him to ask for an explanation when he caught me off guard crashing his lips to mine. His hand in my hair pulling me closer, his other hand on my hip, pulling me towards his lap. He growled when I didn't move, I couldn't help but smirk.

His kiss had caught me off guard, I barely had time to respond to his kiss when he was grabbing at me. When I finally did respond, releasing all my frustrations into the kiss. He didn't seem to mind at all, grabbing at my hip again, this time pulling me on to his lap till I was straddling him. His hand pulling my hair gently tilting my head back as he kissed, licked and gently bit down my neck and shoulder, earning him a moan from me. Then moving back up to my lips.

 

He finally parted from me, our breathing still heavy.

“What bought that on?” I asked through heavy breaths.

He smirked. “Didn't ya say you were missin' out...and ya did bring these” he said bringing the foil packet in front of his face. The smirk getting bigger.

My cheeks went bright red. “Told ya I didn't put them in there.” I growled trying to pull away from his grip.

“So? Don't matter now” he said coming back to claim my lips again. I couldn't help but chuckle at that.

 

It didn't take long for the kiss to heat up again, his tongue slipping its way into my mouth, then taking my bottom lip gently between his teeth, tugging gently. Causing another moan to escape my lips. He was driving me insane, his touch, his kisses. I hadn't realised how much I had missed all of this up until now. Sending waves of arousal to my core.

His hands were now working their way under my top, slowly pushing it upwards, his fingers ghosting over my skin, we parted momentarily as he took it off, dropping it beside him, then reaching behind me to unclasp my bra. That too lying next to my top. He sat back and looked me over, his eyes hungrily taking in my naked upper body. I felt my cheeks redden, _for the millionth time tonight_ and I went to cover my breasts feeling embarrassed under his scrutinizing gaze. He stopped me and shook his head, “No, don't” he whispered. He leaned up to me claiming my lips again, this time however it was softer, more gentle, something I hadn't known Daryl possessed.

 

His hands started on my hips before they began travel upwards, finding my breasts, more than an ample handful as he palmed both of them. He groaned into the kiss as he did this. I was finding it harder to concentrate as his mouth attacked mine, seeing my concentration was slipping he started to kiss down to my neck again and as his hands worked wonders on my breasts. I was biting back a moan. As soon as his tongue made contact with my nipple, I couldn't help but let the moan slip and arch my back into his mouth. This only encouraged him further.

 

My hands make their way to his chest, fumbling to undo the buttons as I watch him swipe his tongue over each of my nipples and gently taken them between his teeth. I finally managed to undo his shirt and pull his face back up to mine. His kiss is way more fierce now, his and my lust in full swing now. I ran my hands over his chest and down his sides, as I tried to move them around to his back, his hands instantly caught mine. I pulled back and looked at him. _Had I done something wrong?_ His eyes just conveyed his back was off limits as he firmly shook his head before pulling me back to him, his kiss once again had changed.

He placed my hands on his chest. I wouldn't question him, _no need to ruin the mood_. I moved one of my hands to his neck, continuing to kiss him, swiping my tongue across his lips. I felt him smirk before giving me entrance and deepening the kiss.

He grabbed my hips again, turning us slightly and gently pushed me back, laying me down on the bed. He pulled back, our heavy breathing the only sound between us. I squirm under his gaze again, he smirked.

“Stop it” I growl.

His smirk increases. “Or what?” he says huskily bending down and taking one of my nipples into his mouth, sucking hard, his eyes never leaving mine.

“Oh..fuck” I moaned.

One of his hands squeezed my hip, then moved to the top of my jeans, quickly popping the button then undoing the zip. He abruptly leaned back on his knees, looking up at me, silently asking permission. I only had to nod once before he quickly took off my jeans and underwear in on go. His eyes slowly travel down my body, painfully slow, before his eyes stopped at my pussy. I heard him suck in a breath. I closed my eyes, the embarrassment coming over me again. I felt him move off the bed, I opened my eyes panicked, thinking he had changed his mind. I watched as he threw off his shirt and quickly undid his pants pushing them off and kicking them aside. My eyes instantly going to his rock hard cock, I swallowed as I took in the size of him. _He certainly had been hiding that._

I pushed myself off the bed and took a step towards him, his eyes looking me up and down and licking his lips as I approached him, I too was doing the same to him. I wasn't sure at this point who was predator and who was prey. I rested my hands on his chest and started kissing his neck, his breathing becoming ragged again. I moved one of my hands down his chest, over his stomach till I had my hand wrapped firmly round his stiff cock. He moaned as I experimentally moved my hand down to the base of his cock then back up to the head, swiping my thumb over the head which was slick with pre-cum. His eyes closed and head tilted back. Another groan slipping from his lips. I started to pump him a little faster in my hand. His hand grabbed mine stopping the movement.

“If ya keep that up, I won't last very long and I plan on lastin' longer than that” he growled pulling me back to his lips, lust taking over us both. I could feel his very prominent erection hard against me.

He backed us up to the bed, laying me down, as he knelt between my legs. His eyes roaming my body again. God, he was tease. It was beyond frustrating. His hands on my hips moved to my thighs squeezing them, making me squirm beneath his touch. Moving his hands slowly upwards, resting on my hips, his fingers lighting my skin on fire with each movement. I was aching for his touch.

“Please...Daryl” I groaned. He smirked. His thumb reaching the top of my mound, dipping in to brush over my clit already slick with excitement. I moaned at the simple touch. His fingers working at my pussy sending amazing sensations through my body. Slow, deliberate ministrations over my clit, until I start pushing back against his hand, wanting more friction. He responds by speeding up a bit, another moan escaping my lips. I gasp, then whimper as he pushes two fingers inside me, curling them upwards finding that spot that drives me wild, bucking my hips to meet his fingers, his thumb still circling my clit, building it up inside me.

“Fuck...yer'...so...tight” he bites out between breaths. My moans getting louder, panting hard. I find it hard to keep my eyes open but I'm very aware of Daryl watching me and this only seems to turn me on even more.

“That's it, yer so close. Cum fer' me” he grunted huskily. His words making me clench around his fingers. He moans loudly, “Fuck...ya don' know how bad I want ta be buried in ya right now...all tight...and wet fer' me...Cum fer' me” he growled. And this time it was more of a command. His southern drawl getting thicker with his lust.

And that sent me over the edge, whimpering his name as I clenched hard around his fingers, his thumb still circling my clit as I came down from my high. He withdrew his fingers and I opened my eyes to look at him, still panting, watching as he licked his fingers clean, moaning at my taste. It was a fucking hot sight seeing him do that.

 

And before I knew it he'd rolled a condom on, reaching for his cock and sliding it slowly into my wetness. We both moan at the sensation. He stills for a second and I adjust to his girth. He leans down and kisses me hard, I lick at his lips and his tongue, tasting myself on his tongue, I moan. He pulled back and gripped my hips, a smirk on his face as he starts pumping himself in and out of me, slowly at first before increasing the pace of his thrusts. I grip his arms with each thrust and roll of his hips. I clench my pussy around him, his eyes lock with mine, I do it again, smirking up at him, he moans.

“Keep that up, be cummin' in no time” he grunts out.

“Complaining?” I smirk. He smirks in return, pulling out before violently slamming back into me, eliciting a moan from me.

I felt him speed up, his grunts getting more animalistic, before he stiffens, grunts twice more, his head falling down to rest on mine. Our breathing the only sound we're making, the rain still falling against the roof outside.

He moved, withdrawing from me, my pussy aching a little at the loss. He moves to lay beside me, taking off the condom, tying it and throwing it to the end of the bed.

We lay in silence, neither of us moving, both of our breathing slowly returning to normal. I couldn't help the small smile on my face. _Yeah, I had definitely missed that._ I felt like a weight had been lifted from my shoulders.

 

The silence wasn't awkward, it felt almost comfortable. I think I was half expecting him to quickly grab his clothes and bolt for the hatch, whether there were walkers there or not. But he hadn't, he'd stayed, although there wasn't really anywhere to go. I was having an internal battle in my mind though, should I get up and get dressed, leave him be? The bed was small enough as it was. I didn't expect him to cuddle up to me all of a sudden.

It wasn't long before I felt myself drifting off, after running and the extra exercise. my body was tired.

Before I fell asleep I was vaguely aware of him moving beside me, away from me. I just hoped he wasn't bolting.

 

 

_I woke startled by a loud banging noise. The sun had now gone, the room very dark. Quickly sitting up I noticed Daryl wasn't beside me anymore. As my eyes adjusted to the darkness I looked around the tower. He wasn't here. His crossbow was gone. He'd left. He'd left me._

_The banging got louder and seemed to be coming from under the hatch. Worried it could be Daryl and he was trapped out there. I rushed out of the bed, grabbing my top. I unlocked the hatch pulling it open, only it wasn't Daryl. A walker had managed to climb the ladder. It growled and snarled, reaching one hand out for me. I tried to push the hatch closed as the walker pushed back against it, with more power behind it. I was struggling against the power of the walker. It was pulling itself further through the hatch opening..._

I jerked awake, a hand gripping my waist, I struggled against its pull.

“Shhh jus' me” Daryl mumbled below me. The sound of the rain almost drowning out his voice. He pulled me back down against his chest, as my breath started to return to normal.

“Thought ya slept better when I was here?” he frowned.

“Most of the time. Just a nightmare” I swallow nervously.

“Go back ta sleep. Still rainin' pretty hard and lost most of the light now. Have ta wait till the morning” he said through a yawn.

“Did I wake you?” I ask. He grunted quietly. “Sorry” I mumble.

“Gotta stop apologisin' ta me” he snorted.

As I lay next to Daryl I noticed we were both covered in a blanket and I was still naked, I blushed and I hoped he hadn't seen that. I wasn't sure why suddenly I felt embarrassed.

One of his hands still resting on my hip. I shifted slightly and his grip tightened somewhat. “Go back ta sleep” he said sleepily, his thumb brushing over my hip pulling me back into slumber.

 

 

**Crack!**

I wake to a loud crack of thunder, the rain still persistent outside, the night still dark. I hoped it would let up by the morning, because if we didn't get out of here soon, the group would think the worst has happened. And if we do have to go back while it still raining then it going to be a very long day and a dangerous one too.

Daryl's still fast asleep beside me. He lay on his back, looking fully relaxed. I don't think he'd slept this long in weeks. It was evident in his face, the black circles forming under his eyes. His grip had loosened a little during the night so it made it easy to untangle myself from him. I made sure to cover him back up with the blanket. He stirred, only to settle seconds later. I grabbed one of the other blankets at the foot of the bed, wrapping it round my shoulders and quietly padding over to the window. It was pitch black outside and it took a few minutes for my eyes to adjust to the darkness, looking over the tree tops. The occasional crack of thunder and the flash of lightening lighting up the night's sky. I pulled the blanket round me tighter, it wasn't that the night was cold, it was more the weather that makes me want to curl up in something warm. _Or someone._

I watch the bolts shoot across the sky, making the world look bigger. I wondered if the walkers are still wandering below and knew we were still here or if they had got distracted and moved on. I hoped it was the latter.

 

 

Arms appear on either side of me, resting on the window frame, trapping me between them. I should have expected this. I smile to myself.

“What ya doin' out of bed?” he growls in my ear.

“Woke up and couldn't get back to sleep. Why you awake?” I ask.

“Cos someone wasn't in bed” his breath hot against my neck. And suggesting by his tone, I fear my blanket is going to end up on the floor soon enough.

“Think my body is so used to a few hours of sleep a night, so it instinctively wakes now” I sigh.

“Get back ta bed woman” Daryl growled in my ear. And I can't help but chuckle at his command.

I turn to face him, still clutching the blanket. He eyed the blanket, then turned walking back to the bed. A flash of lightening shot across the sky, illuminating the room momentarily and it was now I saw why he had stopped me from touching his back. The jagged scars littering his back. I saw him stiffen, aware of what I had seen and I cast my eyes downward and trailed behind him. I knew he didn't want to talk about them and I wasn't going to ask. He would scoff at me if I gave him pity. If he wanted to tell me he would, now was not that time. I pushed all thoughts aside of what I had just witnessed and now stood at the edge of the bed.

He lay down, his eyes fixed on me.

“Well?” he grumbled with a hint of amusement and apprehension, looking up at me as I stood at the edge of the bed. I don't know where it had come from but I felt embarrassed all over again. I knew this was his way of distracting himself. I would help distract him then.

Taking a deep breath, I closed my eyes and dropped the blanket, feeling it pool around my feet. I could feel the blush spreading over my body, heating it up. I was glad it was dark and he couldn't see it as it spread over my body. And his gaze was not helping the situation. Opening my eyes, I saw his eyes flickering over every inch of my body and I noticed this was affecting him too. His breathing had changed and the more noticeable change was his dick hardening, more so now that my eyes were fixed on it.

“Didn't I say get back ta bed?” he says teasingly.

My eyes move from his cock up to his face, seeing him now lying with his hands behind his head. I couldn't help but roll my eyes. _Cocky bastard._

“Well if you moved some, I might be able to get into bed” I smirk.

“There's plenty of room...what ya on about woman?” he says gesturing his hand down the length on his body.

“And how am I supposed to sleep seated on your cock?” my eyes flicking back to it, still hardening under my gaze.

“I said get back ta bed, didn't say nutttin' bout sleepin” he smirks grabbing my hand, pulling me toward him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Its posted. There was smut. Hope it was written well. I hope it was worth waiting for!  
> Please review guys. Definitely need some feedback on this chapter.


	28. Eyes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to Debbief722 for commenting last chapter, you rock, had missed your comments!....Thought I may have had few other comments. I was nervous posting that chapter, so I hope it was well received.  
> So on with the morning after....  
> Enjoy!

I woke feeling movement behind me, his breath hitting my shoulder. I smiled knowing it was Daryl. I think I still expected him to be gone when I woke up. I lay there, slowly waking, feeling happy and a lot less stressed. Savouring the feeling of his warm body still pressed against mine. Although some of my body ached in places, _as I knew it would_ , they were good aches.

I knew we couldn't lay here all day though, as did he. I knew he was awake behind me, he made no movement but his breathing had changed. I broke the silence.

“As much as I don't wanna leave...we should get back before they send a search party out for us” I said sleepily. I noticed the rain had stopped finally, the sun slowly starting to rise, light slowly invading the small room.

He sighed behind me, squeezing my hip and burying his face into my shoulder. As I tried to move out of his grasp, he held me firmly in place, growling behind me, as I wiggled against him, I quickly stopped, knowing it would end up as round three and we wouldn't end up leave the tower today. As much I wanted to stay wrapped around Daryl Dixon for another day we both needed to get back to reality.

 

He finally released me with a sigh as I pushed myself up off the bed. I knew he was watching me.  I glanced over my shoulder and smirked, “If ya keep looking at me like that Dixon, I'm gonna have to let ya do that to me again.” I saw him smirk in return and push himself off the bed, he playfully slaps my ass and gathers up his clothes. I bent down to grab mine and I heard him groan again. I couldn't help but chuckle. We both got dressed, each eyeing each other when the other wasn't looking, satisfied smirks on both of our faces.

 

We gathered up our belongings and Daryl opened the hatch door, peering out to make sure it was clear. Seeing no walkers in sight, he nodded to me and he went down first, I followed after him, giving one last look round the tower. _I would definitely be remembering this._ He grabbed my waist purposefully as I neared the bottom. His lips twitching just before he let go. It was as playful as he was probably going to get, now that we had our feet firmly planted on the ground, so I soaked it in, savouring it to remember later when I'm trying to get to sleep. _Work myself up just to get frustrated all over again. But if I can get that relief again, it'll be all worth it._

 

 

As usual I took point and we both went into hunting/tracking mode as we made our way back to the trailer park. We both knew the dangers of being out in the open, this wasn't a time to screw around. _We'd already done that_ , I thought to myself. And I didn't think we needed to talk about what had happened. I mean I wasn't expecting him to profess his love for me or make me his girlfriend. He wasn't that type of guy. Just as long as he didn't go all weird and act like it was my fault and he didn't want it or avoid me, any of those would seriously piss me off. Although I was curious about a few things, like if it was just a one-time thing or maybe something more regular. I wouldn't object to the latter. _Last night had well and truly sold me._ And the scars on his back, I wanted to know more but I knew not to ask. Curiosity was going to kill me sooner or later.

 

I had a bolt tucked into the string as we neared closer to the camp. Daryl had snagged a few more squirrels, adding them to his string. I saw the movement up ahead. I signalled Daryl to stop. I raised my bow seeing the walker come into view and released the bolt into its skull. We waited a few seconds to make sure he didn't have company, I looked to Daryl who nodded and when no other movement was detected we pressed forward, retrieving my bolt on the way past.

“Guess I should thank Glenn after all” I chuckled. When I heard nothing from him, I rolled my eyes, “Just kidding, not gonna say anything to him” I sighed. He wasn't great at sarcasm. Or having people know his business.

“Was a joke Dixon, I'll keep quiet” I sighed quietly. I had a feeling there was a scowl on his face that was directed at me at the minute. And I wasn't about to turn back to look. I'd seen that scowl enough that it was etched into my brain. So, I kept my eyes forward.

 

****

As the camp came into view I could see Carl and Maggie on the roof of the trailer on watch duty and probably watching and waiting for Daryl and me to return. Carl had the binoculars glued to his eyes, scanning the area.

We had just reached the fence on the trailer park, when Rick, Glenn, T-dog and Carol came running out towards us. They all looked relieved, although Rick looked a bit distressed himself.

“Was almost bout to send a search party out for you both” Rick breathed.

“Sorry, a big herd stumbled across us and we had to bolt and find somewhere to hold up.” I replied

“Had ta wait till the rain cleared, can't hunt or track or hear walkers in that.” Daryl said stepping through the gap in the fence. _What ever happened to ladies first?_ I internally thought, smiling to myself. _As if he was going to suddenly change because we slept together._

“Oh yeah, where'd ya hold up?” Glenn smirked. I just pretended I heard nothing from him.

“Came back as soon as we could. And we weren't gonna risk coming back in the dark. And sorry to say didn't find too much game either, pretty sure the walkers scared it all off” I said gesturing to the squirrels over Daryl's shoulder as he walked towards camp.

“We're just happy you're both back safe and sound” Carol smiled.

 

As we walked back into camp I could see Glenn looking at me expectantly, wanting me to “thank” him I guessed or give him details. I swear he was no better than a teenage girl with gossip. I kept my poker face on and acted like I didn't know a damn thing. _Deny. Deny. Deny. It’s what Daryl would want...at least for now. God I hope he wants to do that all over again. It’s an unequivocally more productive and pleasurable way to relieve stress. Stop thinking about it, your poker face will slip and an ear-splitting grin isn't exactly subtle._ I internally scolded myself.

 

I noticed as we got back to camp, Daryl had disappeared from sight. Where he had got to I wasn't sure. I think he wanted to avoid questions and the looks Glenn was giving. Smug bastard knew something was up.

 

I walked over to the tent dropping my bow, bag and quiver inside. I gave Lori a smile as I walked past and headed up the ladder to Carl and Maggie.

“Bout time you two got back” Maggie smirked at me.

“Before the rain hit, ran into a big herd, kinda got run off, had to hide out for the night” I rolled my eyes.

“How many were there?” Carl asked fascinated.

“Had to be at least forty. They almost passed us too, but the wind blew our scent right to them. Then they were hot on our heels for...I don't know how long. But we're all good. Back now, but only got squirrels this time, sorry bud, no deer.” I smiled at him.

“So, are ya gonna teach me some stuff today?” he beamed.

“Yeah as long as your mother is ok with it. So maybe after lunch?”

He grins back at me. “Cool I'm gonna go ask Mom now!” he said handing me the binoculars and quickly making his way down the ladder.

 

I took a seat and waited for the questions I knew she was so eagerly waiting to ask. I wondered whether I should make her sweat a bit first or just tell her. _Nah, she needed a little pay back first, both her and Glenn did. But once I say something to him, everyone will know. He's the worst at keeping secrets._

“Sooo...” she drawled taking a seat next to me.

I shook my head. “What were you both thinking yesterday when you put _those_ in my bag?” I said through a poorly disguised glare.

“We thought you both needed a push” she smiled.

“Shit, you know he accused me of planning it, getting him out there in the woods, away from everyone, just so I could jump him. Let's just say when he had pulled them out of my bag he wasn't overly enthused about it” I sigh.

“He didn't start yelling again did he?” she asked concerned.

“No I was lucky this time. Although I'm sure he'll say something to Glenn about it. He deserves to get his ass kicked for that stunt” I shook my head. “So why is it so important to push Daryl and I together? Maybe he's just not that interested. You should have seen how he reacted when I asked him to go hunting this morning...all suspicious.” I scoffed. I could see Maggie getting a little worried, maybe regretting it a little. I wouldn't keep her in the dark for long but she needed a little pay back.

“Oh...um...maybe I'll talk to Glenn get him to back off.” she smiled.

“Might be a good idea” I weakly smiled back at her.

 

We were interrupted by Carl coming back up the ladder again in a hurry.

“Mom said its ok, can we go now?” he asked

“After I've had some lunch ok?”

“Ok” he sighed sadly before heading back down the ladder.

“What have I got myself into?” I shook my head. Maggie chuckled beside me. “I better go have some lunch before he comes back up here again.”

“Hey sorry about yesterday” Maggie pursed her lips.

“Its fine” I said before disappearing down the ladder. I'd tell her later. For now, she can stew a little.

 

I picked up my bow, shouldering it and walked over to Lori.

“Glad you made it back in one piece” she said.

I smiled. “Yeah thanks. Think we were just lucky to be honest.” I say shaking my head, “You're ok about me teaching Carl some stuff?” I ask.

She nodded.

“Think we'll stick to some basic hand-to-hand techniques for now, work up to weapon training” I explained, hopefully putting some of her fears to the situation at rest.

She sighed. “He needs to know it” she said simply. I nodded before walking inside the trailer, looking for something to eat.

 

 

I had barely finished lunch and was talking to Hershel when Carl came running inside looking for me.

“Can we go now?” he grinned.

Hershel and I both chuckled. The energy of this kid. I hadn't seen him this excited about anything in the few short weeks I had known him.

“Sure kid” I smiled.

“Don't let him wear you out” Hershel grinned.

“Fat chance there I think” I mumble.

 

 

I had been teaching Carl for the last few hours and it had gone surprisingly well. He was attentive and enthusiastic the entire time. I was sure the kid wouldn't run out of steam any time soon. It was wearing me down though. I thought I was reasonably fit but clearly just not fit enough to keep up with the kid. I was thankful I wasn't on watch tonight, will need a good night’s sleep.

I had spied Rick, who had come to watch at one point and Lori came with Carol as they did some washing in the river. She smiled over at me and looked pleased with what I had taught him.

 

“Can we do this every day?” he asked as he punched the air again the way I had taught him.

 _Everyday...I'm not that young kid._ “We'll see how it goes. I'll do it as much as I can. I gotta help out round camp too” I said with a smile.

“So, will ya take me shooting?” he asked.

“Maybe. We don't have a whole lot of ammo to waste, so I'm thinking of alternatives at the moment. And want to teach you techniques as sometimes you might not always have a gun. Plus, these things like noise so if I can teach a more silent way of taking them down its better for you and everyone else.”

“Who taught you all this?” Carl gestured towards me. I assumed he was talking about my experience with weapons. As I didn't exactly have walker experience before all of this. Well none of us did, as I didn't count Call of Duty style games as practice.

“My dad. He used to take me hunting when I was a kid. Bought me my first bow” I smiled.

“Did he let you shoot guns?” he asked. I was sure that question was to test if I would give in to giving him more gun training.

“Yes, but only when we were hunting. I was fifteen before he gave me my own rifle” I said taking a seat on the grass. Carl stopped, watching me as I sat down before he took a seat in front of me cocking his head to the side.

“Do you know what happened to him?” he asked.

I sighed and looked down at my hands. I shook my head.

“Do you think you will get to see him again? My dad found me and Mom. Your dad could find you too.” Carl said in all seriousness.

I looked up at him. “Don't know kid. Think he's too far away. But maybe...” I forced a smile. He had good intentions. I pushed thoughts of my dad aside and moved the conversation in a different direction. Distracting him with questions about himself.

Sitting down to dinner I was exhausted. I knew as soon as I was done I was going to sleep. Nothing or no one would keep me up tonight. _Not even Daryl._ Carol sat beside me handing me a plate of food. I thanked her and started eating. I could see her eyeing me through-out dinner, until she finally spoke up.

“You look shattered” she said in her motherly tone.

“Yeah after yesterday and running around after Carl today has me beat. I'm looking forward to sleep” I said through a yawn.

“You should take the big bed in the trailer. I'm on watch tonight and it would be more comfortable than sleeping in that tent” she offered.

I smiled. “Um thanks. Yeah it would be.”

She left me to eat dinner in peace, while my mind wandered. I had just noticed something, I hadn't seen Daryl since we got back this morning. Not that I really had much time to sit there and think today. As I glanced around the group I noticed he wasn't there. I turned my head to see him on top of the trailer on watch, his back to the group. I think I had a hint of concern when I had noticed he wasn't there. Images from last night floated through my head, making me blush slightly. I ducked my head, even though I was sure no one had noticed.

“He's really taken a shine to you” Rick said beside me, pulling from my thoughts. _I hope he means Carl._

“He's a ball of energy. I forget what it was like to be that age. He makes me feel old, can't run around as much as him. He's listening though.”

“Haven't seen him act this happy in ages, he's almost acting like a kid again” Rick sighed.

“Must be hard for him when he doesn't have anyone his age. Although there are people here who act his age” I chuckle.

“You're probably right about that” he smiled.

“He asked me about my dad today. Said he could find me like you found him and Lori. Didn't have the heart to tell him chances were slim if at all non-existent.” I sighed.

Rick was silent for a moment before he spoke. “It was a miracle I found Lori and Carl at all to be honest. Luck was on my side. Waking up from the coma to find what the world had become was...was frightening. I couldn't understand at first. But...after everything that happened, I found them” he smiled.

I know he wasn't rubbing it in. I had come to accept it to a point that the possibility of me going home and finding my family alive was extremely slim. I had a new family.

“It’s alright I have a new family” I smiled.

He placed a hand on my shoulder, giving it a small squeeze. It was then I felt _his_ eyes on me from atop the trailer, burning a hole in the back of my head. Rick risked a glance in Daryl's direction, a hint of a smirk on his lips, before he dropped his hand. I had a sneaking suspicion Rick was trying to rile Daryl up on purpose, his initial gesture, placing his hand on my shoulder, was out of understanding. But once he knew Daryl was glaring our way, _and I was certain he was,_ Rick wanted to elicit a little jealousy. _Another source of entertainment I assumed._ Regardless that nothing was happening between the Sheriff and me. And I was sure Daryl would question me about it at some point. Even though he knew nothing was happening.

Carol had bought my bag and blankets inside placing them on the bed. Leaving me to change and wash up. I grabbed something clean to wear to bed and changed. I noticed how sticky I felt after the long two days I'd had. There was a bucket with some clean water on the bench. I grabbed a cloth and instantly felt better, washing away some of the last two days, wanting to keep some of him on me. It was the closest to a shower as I could get at this time of night. And I was too tired to care.

Once clean I made my way to bed, saying goodnight to T-dog who was reading on one of the single beds. I didn't bother shutting the door. Laying down on the bed I felt myself sink a little into the mattress. Carol was right this was much better than the ground. I curled up against the wall, leaving most of the bed free. I was so used to sleeping in tight places, it was on instinct I curled up using as little space as possible.

I drifted off to sleep, occasionally hearing the footsteps from whomever was on watch above me.

I vaguely woke up feeling movement beside me, the bed shifting under someone's weight. I didn't know who it was, I guessed it was either Carol or Daryl. I was too tired to bother checking and was falling back asleep within seconds.

I woke stretching out, turning over I noticed I was alone. I still had no idea who had slept there last night. The bed was still warm, so they hadn't been gone long. I wondered if it had been Daryl but he hadn't reached out for me at all last night, so maybe it wasn't him. But I had slept good, no nightmares. At least from what I remember. I had only barely woken up when the person came to bed then I was out to it.

Refusing to keep mulling this over in my brain I decided to get up and go distract myself for the day.

Carol was sitting next to the fire, stirring a pot. I took a seat next to her.

“Thank you for offering the bed. You were right, it was amazing. Slept through the whole night” I smiled.

“You're welcome. You looked like you could use it” she said with a smirk.

“I hope I didn't hog too much of the bed, not used to sleeping somewhere with so much space” I chuckle.

“I slept on the other single bed. I thought Daryl slept there?” she quirked an eyebrow at me.

“Oh...I thought it was you...didn't see who lay down next to me...was far too tired to really care” I stammered. _Liar, you care who was sleeping next to you._

Carol noticed my stuttering and just cracked a smile.

“Has Rick said what we're doing today?” I ask, trying to change the subject. My deflecting was a little transparent though, even I didn't believe it.

“He hasn't said yet. You should probably go find him before Carl finds you” she smiled.

 

I took her advice and went in search of Rick. I needed a distraction. Luckily I didn't have to walk too far to find him. He was crouched on the ground, Daryl, Maggie, Glenn, Beth and Hershel surrounding him. I assumed they were looking over a map. Glenn was the first to notice me walking forward.

“Hey, you coming to help?” he asked.

I watched as I saw Daryl freeze but made no movement to look my way. I mentally rolled my eyes. _Great so we're back to this._

“Yeah, where do you need me today? We still got at least a third of the trailers left to search. I thought I would start on them, since hunting didn't go well yesterday” I sigh.

“Yeah we're just making a plan now” he replied. Rick looked up and nodded in agreement with my plan for the day, he still looked a bit hesitant, as at this stage I was going alone.

“I'll go with Camille” Hershel said.

“Good. The rest of us are going to check out a housing complex a few miles up the road. T-dog and Beth are on watch for the morning.”

“Ok I'll take over for them in the afternoon, give them a break” I replied.

 

After a few more instructions and listening to the plans for the rest of the group, we headed our separate ways. The others taking the truck and heading out the gate, locking it behind them. We had a spare set of keys, if in the event we needed to leave in a hurry we could get out too.

I grabbed my machete and waited for Hershel to get what he needed before we headed over to the trailers still left to search.

 

“Thanks for coming with me today” I said as we walked.

“No problem and we couldn't let you do it by yourself” he replied.

“Rick wouldn't have let me go otherwise” I chuckle.

“You're probably right, but he's just looking out for you. You're part of our family now. And family stick together” he smiled.

“You sound so much like my father right now...this is probably the part where I roll my eyes at him but I'll give you another month or so before I start doing that to you too” I laugh, as did he.

 

Searching the trailers with Hershel was not as bad as I thought it would be. We chatted about my family and he told me some stories about Maggie and Beth when they were younger. He wouldn't tell me the embarrassing ones which I had tried to pry from him. He eventually gave me one those pointed looks that said “ _You're about to step over the line”_ and _“Watch it missy.”_

We had come across only four walkers so far, three of which had been inside trailers. I had to take them out. I knew Hershel knew how to handle weapons, he grew up and lived on a farm but he never raised a hand to them. Well almost never, he had pushed one back that advanced on him but I was the one who took it out.

“You know eventually you are going to have kill some of them, otherwise they're going to kill you Hershel” I say a little breathlessly as I pull the machete from the walker’s jaw.

“I know” was all he said. And I left it at that. I wasn't sure if it bothered me that he had hardly attempted to kill one of them. It was what our world was now, sooner or later, doing nothing would get him killed. But because I respected the man I hadn't pushed the subject any further.

 

We were silent for a while, only speaking when we were signalling each other or when I came across something I thought could be useful but needed Hershel's opinion on whether we would take it or not.

 

About an hour later we were back to chatting again. The tension had eased slightly. But I made a point of not bringing up the walker conversation again. I'd said what I had needed to. Hershel was quite curious about my dad, I think because I had compared him to my father on several occasions. And for once I felt happy talking about my dad, recounting the memories I had of him to Hershel.

 

 

After filling two big bags with an assortment of necessities we decided to head back. We had probably only cleared half of the remaining trailers. But we were carrying as much as we could, without breaking either of our backs. And the trailers weren't exactly going anywhere so we could search them later or tomorrow.

 

 

I helped Lori with lunch, delivering some up to Beth on top of the trailer. I came to sit next to Lori as we quietly ate. Carl was sitting in the shade engrossed in a book. I was surprised when I had come back to camp he hadn't immediately asked to do some more training. Maybe I had pushed him too hard yesterday and he was hurting or maybe the novelty had worn off.

I washed up, Lori tried to help but I shooed her away, giving me a small smile. She did a lot around camp, cleaning and cooking and not to mention she's pregnant, she deserves a day off. And I'm sure once she starts showing people will be more eager to help her out more. 

 

Once I was done I went and took a seat next to Carl, who looked up when I plonked myself down.

“Hey kid, I didn't wear you out yesterday did I?”

He scoffs at me. “No way” he says rolling his eyes.

“Alright punk, you up for some more?” I say nudging his side.

“You sure?” he asks frowning.

“Of course, wouldn't be asking otherwise. I'll just clear it with your mom first” I say pushing myself up.

 

I walk over to Lori and I'm sure she knows what I'm going to ask by the look on her face. She smiles and raises an eyebrow at me.

“Just wondering if you mind if I take Carl for a bit more training down by the river. We'll fill up the water jugs while we're down. Shouldn't be too long” I ask hopefully.

“No problem. He's safe with you. I trust you” she said smiling.

 

We grabbed the water jugs, I had my machete on my hip and bow over my shoulder just in case. Carl walked beside talking animatedly about a book he was reading as we walked down the road to the river. I peeked back over my shoulder to see Beth wave from the top of the trailer. She would be able to see us clearly atop the trailer.

 

“So, what are ya teaching me today?” he asks as he fills up one of the jugs.

“Get you to practice some more of the stuff I taught you yesterday, see if you can remember it” I grin.

“I'll be better than you soon enough. I'll be a silent ninja stalking the walkers” he said as he threw in some movie-inspired kung-fu moves. I couldn't help but giggle. After all that has happened, he can still smile and make me laugh.

 

He's been punching my hand with the combos I taught him and he's caught on quick. I'm not turning him into a ninja as he described it but just some basics that could come in handy in a variety of situations, and not just with walkers.

 

 

I had been showing Carl some moves on how to deflect weapons for the last half an hour. I'd had a strange feeling since we had been out by the river I couldn't quite explain it. And it was distracting me, Carl had caught me off several times, which had delighted him but only made my fears increase.

“Stop, just wait a minute” I motion to Carl.

Carl looked to me confused. “What is it?” he whispers as his eyes dart around.

“I don't know...We should head back” I say lowly, as my eyes slowly move around our surroundings. “I'm sure it nothing but let's head back anyway” I say trying to smile as I reach for the jugs. Carl grabs a jug and reluctantly heads back with me. I keep glancing over my shoulder expecting to see something. But every time I looked there wasn't anything there.

 

I pasted a smile on my face as we walked back into camp. Lori gave me a look, questioning me, she didn't seem to believe my fake smile either. I just shook my head and tried to smile again.

 

 

I head for the trailer, wanting to ease my mind by continuing to scan the surrounding woods. Whether I come up with something or not. I hope for the latter, I think.

I pull myself up the ladder.

“You haven't seen anything suspicious out there lately?” I ask as I reach the top.

“Nah, it’s been really quiet. Whys that?” Beth asked

“Just a feeling. I'm sure it’s nothing” I force a smile. “It’s about time I took over for you anyway, so you go take the rest of the afternoon off” I say reaching out for the rifle.

“If you're sure...” she says a little doubtfully.

“Yes, I'm sure, now go” I smile, shooing her towards the ladder.

 

I watched the woods and the surrounding trailer park. Looking for what the feeling I'd had since I was out training with Carl just after lunch. I couldn't quite explain it but it felt like we were being watched. But I hadn't seen or heard anyone and I seemed to be the only one who had this feeling, which didn't make things any better. I'd like to think it’s just my brain training me to think there's danger around every corner but this time I just can't brush it off.

I scan every bit of the trees I can from my position. I still see nothing. Which only seems to frustrate me more. _Shouldn't I be glad I'm not seeing anything?_

 

T-dog comes to relieve me just as Rick and the others have returned. I shrug off my bow as I take a seat sitting back from the fire. I've got my head down as I hug my knees loosely with my arms. I'm deep in thought when Maggie pulls me from my thoughts.

“What's wrong with you?” Maggie asks as she sits next to me.

“Oh...um...it’s nothing I'm sure of it. Just had a weird feeling today...Anyway how did today go for you?” I ask trying to change the subject, more for myself, to be distracted by something else.

She told me about the gated community of houses they found and how they could be where the group would possibly head to next, depending on the circumstances and if the place was still vacant when we moved on.

When dinner was ready, Carl came over with two plates of food, handing me one. _It was too cute._

“Thanks kid. You know I could have gotten it myself” I smile.

“I know...” he says rolling his eyes, before he sighs, “Are you still worried about this afternoon?” he asks quietly.

“Nah, I'm sure it was nothing” I say trying to paste on another smile. He seems to buy it for now. While I start to eat my dinner, I try to push thoughts of earlier out of my head and listen to the conversation around the fire.

 

 

Daryl had hardly taken his eyes off me since he had sat down for dinner. He had walked in when most of us were half way through. He had sat in the shadows away from the fire, like I had, but in my line of vision. I wasn't sure if it was making me nervous or uncomfortable or worried. He hadn't directly spoken to me since we left the ranger tower. So of course my female-over-analysing brain was in overtime at the moment. The way he was looking at me had me on edge and I couldn't figure out what the hell was going on. _And lucky me I would get to analyse this when I take over watch in the early hours of the morning._

 

After barely making conversation during dinner and with Daryl watching me throughout dinner for whatever reasons I was unclear about, I decide to turn in for the night. It’s been a long enough day and I'm not really in the mood to deal with Daryl tonight. I have enough on my mind without thinking about him too, _not that it stops me._

I walked back into the trailer determined to get some sleep and try forget all the thoughts of Daryl Dixon in my brain right now. _At least my uneasiness about earlier had subsided, for now._

And I know I had said to myself we didn't need to talk about it, and I honestly thought we didn't. But I had hardly seen him since we got back from the tower yesterday, he hadn't said a direct word to me either and then he just kept staring at me through dinner. I wanted to stop analysing the situation but I couldn't help it. _Damnit I had feelings for the redneck. And sex just intensified it._

It was more than obvious that when we got back he didn't want to be questioned. And of course, Glenn had a shit-eating grin on his face, like he knew exactly what happened. _Hell, I hadn't told him he was right and I wasn't about too, not yet._ But now I felt like he was avoiding me at all costs. Was it regret? Was he embarrassed? _So much for not over-analysing the situation._ I think tomorrow I would have to corner Maggie and fess up. But also get her opinion, she would give me an “ _I told you so”_ look, but she would actually listen and not judge and if I told her not to say anything to Glenn I know she would keep the secret too.

I took my bow off and leant it up against the wall. I sat down on the bed as I dug through my bag for something to wear to bed. I untied my boots and peeled my jeans off, laying them on top of my boots for when I woke up, I stripped my hoody, top and bra and shrugged on the t-shirt I was wearing to bed. I climbed into the big bed and moved over to the far side, pulling the blankets up to my chin. The nights were getting colder but the trailer provided extra insulation we had missed while sleeping in places like the barn.

I was just starting to drift off to sleep when I felt the weight shift on the bed, then covers being adjusted and the warmth of a body very close to mine. I was still quite hazy as I had almost been asleep, I wasn't quite certain that there was anyone next to me. _I could be dreaming again, right?_

“I know yer' awake” he drawled quietly behind me.

I wasn't sure if I was surprised that he was here. _Ok, maybe a little surprised, this is the first thing he's said to me all day._

“Barely” I yawned.

He stayed quiet for a few minutes before he spoke again.

“Yer' on watch later?” he asks.

“Yeah, that's why I went to bed early” I say through another yawn.

“Thought ya might 'ave been avoidin' me” he mumbles out.

I couldn't help but chuckle. _Had he been over thinking things today as well?_ “Not avoiding you Dixon, I guessed you wanted space so I kept myself busy. And I didn't say anything to anyone, ok?” I turn over to face him, “Now, any more question's or can I get some sleep?” I smile, my fingers tracing down his arm. He shook his head. I roll back over on to my side, reaching back for him, urging him to cuddle up against me. He wavered for a minute before shuffling towards me.

 

 

I wake to hear the beeping from the watch, telling me it was my turn to take over watch. I shut it off and feel his arm tighten around my waist,

“I gotta go take over watch” I mumble, rubbing my fingers over his hand, which he tightens once again on my waist. He murmurs something incoherent behind me. I turn over facing him, lazily smiling at him. He's still got his eyes closed, he's barely awake at the moment, his breathing still even.

“Go back to sleep” I whisper against his cheek, kissing his cheek softly. I feel the corners of his mouth twitch, as he lets out a big breath and rolls his head to the side.

“Why ya awake?” he gets our sleepily.

“I'm on watch remember?” I reply.

“I like ya better 'ere” he drawls out, his voice still thick with sleep.

“I like it better here too but it’s my turn for watch. I'll make it up to you later” I grin, kissing his cheek again.

“I'll hold ya ta that” he yawns pulling me further on to his chest, till I was half-sprawled out across him. _He wasn't making this easy._

Dragging one of my legs over his, I pulled myself over till I was straddling him, both of his hands firmly grabbed my hips then before I could move off him. _Really not making it easy for me._ I groaned quietly, his fingers digging into my hips a little tighter at the sound.

“Dixon” I growled quietly.

His fingers loosened and I felt his silent chuckle roll through his body. I took this opportunity to lift myself from him and shuffle off the bed. I grabbed my jeans, a clean top, my bra and hoody and slowly got dressed. I sat back down on the bed, lacing up my boots. I could hear him slowly starting to drift off to sleep again, his breathing starting to even out.

Before I left I kissed his lips and was surprised when he kissed me back, I thought he would have been asleep by now.

“Go back to sleep Dixon” I whisper against his lips, kissing him once more.

 

I grabbed my bow and silently made my way to the door, quietly opening and closing it behind me. The morning was cold. I shouldered my bow and made my way up the ladder. T-dog looked my way when he heard me coming up.

“Morning” I whisper. “How’s it been?” I ask pulling myself up onto the roof.

“Mostly it’s been pretty quiet” he says with a little uncertainty.

“What do you mean?” I say flatly, taking a seat next to him.

“Um...few hours ago, I saw torch shine from across the river, it was only for a minute, I haven't seen it since. And heard nothing since then either. No walkers. No people.” he said as he looked in the direction he had seen the light.

“We'll just have to be careful. Its late, you go in and get some sleep. I'll be ok. I'll holler if I need help” I say taking my bow off my shoulder and laying it beside me.

“Just keep your eyes open” he smiles, it looked forced. I think he's trying to mask the creepiness he felt from earlier. He wraps the blanket around me and pushed the rifle next to me. I nod and after a few seconds he starts to head back to the ladder.

“Eyes open, ok?”

“Yes sir” I smile.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I thought Daryl was acting all cute while he's sleepy at the end of the chapter.  
> And I like the interactions between Carl and Camille. She's like a big sister to him I think.  
> As always I'm a sucker for reviews!


	29. Surrounded by Wolves

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Little bit of smut and then shit's about to get real. Just a heads up.  
> Thanks to those who commented and the kudos!!!  
> Its a bit of a long one so I hope you like it.... I'm looking forward to this arc in my story.  
> Enjoy!!!!

The cold morning air kept me awake. And as T-dog had said, it was quiet. I made sure to keep alert, watching for any more light coming from across the river. If a group of people saw the trailer park during the daytime, they would more than likely have the same idea as our group had and to “move in”. Whether they would put up a fight would be something we would have to be prepared for.

For now, I just kept watch, hoping I wouldn't see anything. _Or feel anything._

 

 

Sitting down with the blanket wrapped around my shoulders, I pulled it tighter, trying to trap what body heat I had between the blanket. I would much rather be in bed, several feet below me, _getting cosy with a certain redneck._ In his sleepy state, he was letting the cute/flirty side come out. I was sure it was just because he was half asleep and by morning when he wakes up, I don't think he'll go back to being cold, but he'll brush it off.

But him saying he wanted me there with him, I couldn't help but smile a that statement. That's something I didn't think Dixon would be saying, I thought he played his cards closer to his chest. At least I know now he wasn't avoiding me. And that only made me smile more.

Maybe he'll be up for me “ _Making it up to him”._ What that entails I'm not sure yet. I could let my mind wander to the many possibilities. _That's far too distracting!_ If all else fails, drag him to an empty trailer and act that dream out.

 

I shook my head, trying to bring myself back to reality. I should be concentrating on watch but it’s hard to keep my mind off him. I found myself distracted several times yesterday with thoughts of him. I kind of thought that once I got the _itch scratched,_ I wouldn't have quite so many dirty thoughts about him. _Guess that ship has well and truly gone and I should enjoy it while it lasts._

 

 

As the sun started to rise over the horizon, I started to scan the area, looking for anything that was out of place or if there was a sign of the light source across the river, finally get my thoughts back on track. I of course was seeing nothing. So maybe T had imagined it? He looked tired when I had taken over for him last night. And when you start to stay awake for long periods of time and your body doesn't start to recover with some proper rest you can hallucinate. I don't think he was _that_ tired this morning but it is a possibility.

I think I was trying to rationalize it, hoping against all hope that a threat of humans wasn't that close.

 

I also knew we'd have to tell Rick about what T had seen. I was a little reluctant to say that I had a _feeling_ that something was off yesterday. I swear it felt like I was being watched but I never saw any signs of anyone or anything out there. I had tried to tell myself several times that it was just my over-active imagination trying to scare me. Honestly, how can you prove that the particular feeling was real? How do you explain it to everyone, when no one else had felt like their hackles were raised? I didn't want to scare everyone if I was imagining it, but I also would feel better if I voiced my concerns.

I want Rick to tell me I'm overreacting and there's nothing out there, to put my mind at ease.

 

 

It was another hour or so before I heard anyone waking up below. Hershel, Carol and Rick being the first ones up. Rick made a beeline for me, heading straight up the ladder. He wanted the full report from last night. _Always the cop._

“Morning” I greeted.

“Any problems last night?” he asked looking out to the trees.

I hesitated for a minute. He saw my hesitation and raised an eyebrow at me awaiting my answer.

“T told me last night he saw a torch light in the trees, over the river” I said pointing in the direction T-dog had told me. “Said it was only for a minute but he saw nothing else or heard anything since then. It’s been quiet since I took over for him...” I hesitated again, “But yesterday, I wasn't sure if I should say anything but the entire day I felt like I was on alert, I just had a feeling like...like I was being watched. Felt it more than once too. It definitely felt off when Carl and I had been down at the river doing some more training, I had to cut it early to be safe. Carl knew something was up but he didn't know what. I don't know how to explain it Rick, its...just something I think we need to be prepared for.” I sigh, then looking back out to the trees.

Rick's silent for a few minutes, obviously taking in everything I've said, and listening to my concerns and probably coming up with a plan.

He turns to face me, his face has gone serious now, _he's in cop-mode._

“I trust your gut, if you had that feeling more than once, unfortunately nine times out of ten, it’s right. So, no one goes anywhere alone today. And can't let Carl leave the camp either. Not until we know what or who the threat is and has been dealt with.”

I nod in agreement.

 

We're silent for about ten minutes, both of us taking a seat, both of us looking around the area.

“You know your son thinks I'm going to teach him how to become ninja?” I smile.

Rick quirks an eyebrow. “A ninja?” he questions.

“Apparently. Not sure I can teach him that but he is convinced he's gonna be better than me soon.” I say shaking my head.

“Well ninja or not, he needs to know this stuff and its making him act like a kid again. I wish he could act like it more often but he's been forced to grow up in this world, and especially since he's surrounded by adults. You're a good influence on him.” he said as he reached down and squeezed my hand.

“When I went to train him yesterday, I went to Lori asking if it was ok...”

“She didn't try to talk you out of it?” a harsh edge in his voice.

I shook my head, “No she saw the importance of it. She said she trusts me with him, that I'd keep him safe. It doesn't sound like much, but to hear that from Lori meant a lot. I know she was hesitant at first. I think she wanted to keep Carl a kid, which I get. But she's come around...slowly...but she is.”

Rick sighed. “Carl's the only thing we talk about now...And don't give me that look” Rick turned to me, narrowing his eyes, I smirked wiping the look off my face. “Every time I think about bringing it up with her, I just get angry, with her, with myself and then usually just end up walking out. But how do honestly get over that your best friend was fucking your wife and now she's carrying his baby.” he said burying his head in his hands.

“You've gotta work through the anger. It'll eat you alive. Taking it out on her isn't going to help the situation. And yes, I agree it’s a shit situation. You really need to think about what you want. I know divorce isn't exactly much of an option these days. But if you're going to end it. Tell her. Either way we're all here for you. And her.” I sigh heavily. “She wasn't all too happy about you killing Shane, was she?” I asked.

He gives me a knowing look.

“Oh” I say in a whisper, “That would explain some of the anger” I say more to myself.

“Guess you're right” he sighs.

“Of course, I'm right” I chuckle, trying to lighten the mood.

He smiles. But I can see its forced.

“You know you did the right thing though? He was a danger to the entire group. We wouldn't have made it this far if it were him in charge. He would have sacrificed nearly everyone to get his way. So, I hope this doesn't sound too insensitive to say, but I'm glad he's dead...We need **you** as our leader” I said placing a hand on his shoulder. He still hadn't looked up from his hands.

We sat in silence for a few minutes before we both went back to scanning the surroundings and occasionally making small talk. Both of us pointing out to each other that we hadn't seen or felt anything weird this morning. _Maybe the threat was passing us?_

 

 

I had been slightly distracted since Daryl had emerged from the trailer, I had felt his gaze on me more than once. And when I had turned around the few times that I did, there was a look in his eyes that made me lick my lips in anticipation. I had a feeling my comment of _“I'll make it up to you later”_ was playing through his head. I know it had played through my mind several times before the sun rose, several scenarios playing in my head. But it always came back to the dream I'd had about him the other night. I was sure if I riled him up enough he would stalk me like I was prey and corner me. _Hell, I wouldn't complain, I'd play along._

 

Rick clicked his fingers in front of my face, bringing me out of my daydream.

“Sorry” I mumble.

I hear him chuckle beside me. “You're meant to watching the trees, not Daryl” he chuckles louder.

I groaned in embarrassment, ducking my head, he clapped me on the shoulder laughing.

“Can I trust ya to do watch for a bit more before Glenn takes over for you?” He raises an eyebrow at me.

“Yes dad” I roll my eyes. He laughs once more before heading towards the group gathered at the fire. I turn around, trying to get my mind back on track, back to the task I was supposed to be doing.

Thankfully it had remained quiet and I hadn't felt what I did yesterday. _So, that had to be good, right?_ I hoped I had just been extra paranoid yesterday and things would improve today.

 

 

I'd seen Daryl disappear a while ago and now that my shift for watch was over I wanted to go find him. Maybe see if I can get away with some innocent flirting and teasing. _Test the waters. I hope the only time he's being all flirty and cute is when he's half asleep...I don't think I could wait till only those times. Although I won't be doing this in front of the group, I know he would just ignore me otherwise. So, I should pick my moment carefully. Maybe while we go check the perimeter?_

“Have you seen Daryl?” I ask Rick, who is rifling through the gun bag, looking for bullets for his Colt.

Rick smirks at me. _I'm sure I sounded casual when I asked?_

“We're going to do a check round the perimeter, remember? So, get your mind out of the gutter Sheriff” I say narrowing my eyes at him.

“I never said anything” he joked.

“No. It was the look you were giving me” I said folding my arms across my chest.

“I have no idea what you mean” he teased. I just shook my head. “I saw him head over to the two trailers across from us” he pointed.

I shouldered my bow and made my way towards where he'd said Daryl was. Ignoring the teasing comments I heard him mutter as I left. I was half tempted to flip him off, but with Carl in the vicinity I refrained. Didn't need to get the blame for teaching the kid bad habits. I'd like to stay on both of his parent's good sides.

 

I found Daryl standing at the fence-line watching the trees. He clutched his crossbow tightly. Not making any move when he heard me approach.

“You see something?” I ask looking out to the trees, searching.

He's quiet for a moment before answering. “Thought I did”

“But?” I wait for his answer.

“Nothin', c'mon let’s go check the fences” he said moving out.

 

 

I was walking behind Daryl as we slowly walked the perimeter weaving between the trailers and out towards the fence. He had insisted he take point today, which surprised me as every other time we have gone out, it was always me out in front. _Oh well at least I can check him out as we do this. Gotta make the most of the situation before he changes his mind._

“Ya should be watchin' the trees not me” he called not turning around. _How the hell did he know?_

“I was checking for scratches” I chuckle, thinking back to the night in the barn.

He just shook his head, still not bothering to turn around.

 

We'd gone almost half way round the trailer park and had come across only two walkers. All my paranoia was gone from yesterday. I wasn't sure why but I felt like we were ok for now. Maybe whoever had been across the river last night had moved on? One can only hope, right?

 

 

I had just pulled a bolt free from the walker that was lying dead at my feet and I could feel Daryl watching me.

“You an' officer friendly seem ta be close” the way he said it didn't sound like a question, almost like an accusation.

I stood, turning to face him, raising an eyebrow at him. “Really?” I said cocking my hip, placing my hand on it. He was avoiding looking at me now. I wasn't sure whether I should be annoyed or a little happy that he was jealous. Even though him and I both know there isn't anything between Rick and me. “He just needs someone to talk to” I sighed, clipping the bolt into my bow.

I could see him thinking it over. I knew a sure-fire way to shut him up and show that I wanted him and only him. It’s a bit drastic. He was probably going to fight me on this and more than likely give me an earful later. But fuck it.

 

I moved towards him, taking off my quiver, dropping it to the ground, then my bow. He took an involuntary step backwards as I slowly advanced on him. _I don't think he likes being the prey._ I inwardly chuckled to myself.

 

“What're ya doin'?” he growled.

“Showing you who I want” I said taking another step forward.

“We can't” he said gruffly.

“Just shut up and enjoy this damnit” I smirked placing a hand on his chest, till he was backed up against a trailer.

“Cami...” he started to warn, until I pressed my lips to his, silencing him. His lips remained stiff against mine. _He was going to fight me all the way I could feel it._ Closing my eyes, I moved my hands to his chest, gripping the edge of his lapels on his vest, pulling myself closer till he was well and truly pinned against the trailer. I felt his lips twitch ever so slightly at the movement. _He and I both knew he could overpower me in a second but he was letting me have my way...for now._

Feeling his slight reaction, I tentatively ran my tongue slowly along his bottom lip. Before placing kisses down his jaw, across the facial hair that was starting to grow more prominently. I could feel his body relax ever so slightly under my ministrations. With him firmly pressed against the trailer I released my grip on his vest and moved my hands across his chest, feeling the muscles. _I was half tempted to just rip the shirt off him, buttons be damned. But I doubt he wanted to go back to camp like that._ So, I refrained. I started to kiss down his throat, hearing the quietest of groans. I flicked my eyes up to him, to see his eyes were shut, his mouth hanging slightly open. _He was enjoying this, not that he wanted me to know this._ His breathing had picked up slightly as well. Teasing and testing his likes, I licked a stripe down his throat to his collarbone and bit down on him, hard enough that his hand shot up and gripped my neck, not pulling me away but keeping me there. It wasn't a viscous bite, I wasn't feral, just a little of the good kind of pain. I kissed and licked where I had bit down on him, noting it was only a little red, it wouldn't bruise.

 

I opened my eyes flicking them up to his, trying to gauge a reaction from him. He wasn't giving anything away. He was now more composed, his eyes were still closed but to look at him, you would have to look real hard to see if he was enjoying this. _I needed to turn this up a notch. And this was going to be fun for me as well._

 

Reaching for his belt, I felt him tense up again. With one hand, I palmed his erection through his jeans, earning a groan from him. As I continued to undo his belt and fly. Now that I had them undone I kissed him once again, trying to get him to relax, just a little. I felt his one free hand grab my ass and push me against his growing hardness, groaning into the kiss. I couldn't help the moan that was swallowed up by him when he finally started to kiss me back. His kiss growing more demanding as I ground against him, feeling him harden more against me. Reaching into his boxers I wrapped my hand around his length and he broke the kiss, panting and groaning with each stroke, dropping his head on my shoulder.

As I started to lower myself, Daryl pulled abruptly on my arms, having now dropped his crossbow.

“Where are...” he started to say huskily.

“Didn't I say shut up and enjoy this?” I growled.

He pulled me back in for another kiss, smiling as he did so. His tongue teasing mine. _His tongue was more than distracting me from my mission._ I reined myself in and pushed myself back from him, biting my bottom lip, trying not to dive back in. I had a plan and I needed to stick to it. I could see him eyeing my lips.

Lowering myself so I was on my knees I bought my hands back to his boxers and looked up at him, licking my lips mischievously. His lips twitched in response. His jeans still clung to his hips, the buckle open and fly undone, and his cock looking painfully hard behind his boxers. Pulling him free from his boxers I wrapped my hand around his length, stroking it several times, hearing him hiss at the contact. I could see the pre-cum leaking from him already. I licked up the few drops, hearing the intake of breath above me. Licking around his head I continued to work my hand around his shaft, then finally wrapping my lips around him and slowly taking him further into my mouth, using my tongue along the underside of his cock, feeling his harden and twitch with my movements.

His hands slip into my hair, one hand winding my hair as I start to move my mouth up and down his impressive length. I felt him hit the back of my throat, I hallowed my cheeks and applied some suction as I moved up his shaft, earning a groan from above me.

Peeking up through my lashes I could see him staring down at me, the look in his eyes was enough to make me wet. Making me moan around his shaft, earning a growl from him. _We were so going to finish this later._ I continued to use my hand, stroking his shaft where my tongue couldn't reach, my mouth bobbing up and down at a steady rhythm.

 

Feeling his grip tighten around my hair I doubled my efforts, with my tongue, my hand and my mouth working in a synchronised pattern. Hearing him panting above me and groan when my tongue swirled around his head, made me moan around him again. Then taking him as far as I could in my mouth, his cock growing more rigid and his grip tightened again, this time holding me there as I felt him tense and him empty his seed onto my tongue and down my throat. I swallowed every salty drop. Slowly pulling myself back as his hands released me, falling to his sides. I glanced up at him to see his chin resting on his chest as he panted and his eyes remained closed.

 

I tucked him back into his pants and proceeded to fasten them as he was still coming down off his high. I'm not sure he even realised I was doing it. I stood, giving my knees some relief and turned around going to grab my bow and quiver off the ground. I looked back over my shoulder at him, he was starting to eye me with suspicion or he was forming a plan or his own, I assumed.

“Told ya I'd make it up to you” I smirked licking my lips, shouldering my quiver and picking up my bow.

 

 

The rest of the patrol was uneventful, although I could feel Daryl's eyes on my back most of the way. I smiled to myself. _At least I could make him feel good, and it was so worth it. The look of relief almost was enough. But I couldn't lie that it had turned me on, and I couldn't wait for tonight._

We checked the perimeter coming across two walkers, both of us taking down one each. I seemed to have been a little more violent this time; the walker’s skull was a complete mess. Daryl had just raised an eyebrow at me when I had finished my tirade. Maybe I was more frustrated than I thought.

As I wiped my boot on the grass free from the gore splattering it, I felt Daryl standing behind me.

“Don't worry I'll make it up to ya later” he whispered huskily in my ear. I felt the blush cover my face and spread down my neck.

He moved around me and nodded his head to hurry up, so I went back to following him as we neared our camp.

As we walked I felt the hairs on the back of neck rise, I felt the feeling I had yesterday, my eyes flicked around the area looking for source. I saw nothing out of place or nothing to suggest something or someone was there. I shook the feeling off and followed Daryl, who hadn't seemed to have noticed my wariness.

 

Rick was waiting for us when we arrived back.

“Any problems?” he asked looking to both of us.

I couldn't help the slight smirk on my face. “Nope not a thing. Few walkers, nothing else.” I said swallowing the smirk.

Rick noticed and looked to Daryl, looking for confirmation. Daryl just nodded then walked back into camp.

“You sure it went all good?” he questioned.

“Nothing to worry about” I smiled.

Rick seemed to drop the subject and walked in after Daryl.

 

I was about to follow Rick when I felt the hairs stand up on the back of my neck again. The feeling like we were being watched, it was more present now, and stronger than before. I slowly turned around, looking to the trees. This was more frustrating that I couldn't see the source. I wasn't sure if I was just imagining this anymore, if this was just my imagination, then it was a cruel joke.

I stood watching the trees for another ten minutes, before Carl called me, bringing me back to reality.

“What are ya doing out here?” he asked.

“Nothing kid, just day dreaming” I lied.

“Well lunch is ready, Mom wanted me to tell you.”

“Thanks, I'll be there in a minute.” I smiled, watching the boy retreat to the camp.

I flicked my eyes back to the trees, only seeing them sway in the breeze. The feeling I had before had disappeared again. I couldn't explain it and it just annoyed me more. I shook it off and turned back, going into camp.

 

 

I felt distracted through lunch, Maggie trying to get my attention twice and then Rick. I had brushed it off with both of them, saying I was _just having one of those days._ Maggie had smiled and then carried on with what she was telling me. Rick on the other hand knew something was up. I tried to smile and try to indicate I'd chat to him later about it. Having brushed off both Maggie and Rick, this seemed to have caught Daryl's attention. I could feel him eyeing me through lunch. I was sure he would pull me aside and probably thought it had something to do with this morning. I felt like I was imagining the whole thing. It felt like a puzzle I couldn't complete. Maybe I'd feel better once I said something to Rick again. Hopefully he would tell me it was nothing and I shouldn't worry so much. _Here's hoping._

Finishing lunch, Daryl grabbed my arm pulling me into the trailer.

“Yer' actin' weird” he stated with narrowed eyes.

“Just had a weird feeling this morning. Felt like we were being watched”

Daryl looked worried, probably thinking it was someone from our group spying on our antics this morning.

“No, I felt it when we got back to camp. It wasn't one of ours. It was something or someone else. But I've seen no-one.” I sighed frustrated.

“Hmm thought I saw somethin' this mornin' before we went to check the fences but didn't see nothin' though” Daryl said

“I'm gonna say something to Rick. Maybe you and him go check the perimeter again. I'm staying round camp looking after the kid. I could be wrong. It’s just a feeling at the moment.”

“Ya sure?”

I nodded and he left the trailer in search of Rick.

 

 

“Maggie, Daryl and I are gonna check the perimeter again. You'll keep an eye on Carl?” Rick asked me.

“I'm sure it’s nothing Rick” I sighed.

He shook his head. “I wasn't a cop for all these years and not trust my gut” he eyed me.

“Alright well, I'll keep Carl busy cleaning the weapons”

“Manual labour already?” he smirked.

I rolled my eyes at him. “I'll be doing it too. Plus, I don't want to refine those ninja skills to finely or you'll have no use for me” I smiled.

And with a straight face, he sighed “Guess you're right” before he turned and went to join Daryl and Maggie. Daryl once again watching the exchange between Rick and me. I hoped after this morning's antics there wasn't any residual jealousy left over.

 

 

I sat next to the fire, cleaning our weapons. Carl was seated next to me doing the same. In trying to get him to respect weapons, I'm getting him learn how to take each weapon apart and put it back together. And since we're taking them apart, may as well clean them too. He's bored out of his mind I can tell, huffing every few minutes. It was making me chuckle inwardly at each huff. But he needs to know this. And I did agree with him that it wasn't the most entertaining job but someone has to do it.

“I know it’s boring kid but it’s not all about shooting the weapon, gotta learn how to take care of it. Promise we'll do something more fun later” I said nudging his shoulder.

“You promise?” He looked up at me.

“I promise kid” I said winking at him. He grinned and started on his next weapon, I think trying to get it over with as soon as possible. I look over to Lori who's seated just outside one of the trailers in the shade, she's watching us. I'm not too sure if she's ok with it. She did agree it was worth him knowing this stuff but I think it’s the handling of weapons that makes her the most nervous. I know Rick had talked to her about it but I was sure that was all he talked about with her.

 

 

I felt a shudder roll through me. I couldn't get rid of the feeling like we were being watched since this morning. I scanned the area around me, looking for eyes looking back but saw nothing. I'd had the feeling for the last few days. And ever since T-dog said he saw light shining from the woods across the river. But we hadn't seen a camp or any people.

“Hey Glenn, how's it looking up there?” I asked

Glenn turned around to face me, standing atop the trailer. “Same as you asked the last four times” he smiled before going back to pacing up and down the trailer.

No matter how many times he said it was fine, I couldn't shake the feeling. That was one of the reasons why we weren't down by the river practising stuff today. Not after yesterday, the creep factor had been high yesterday. Maybe I was just being paranoid. All this time of having to watch over your shoulder was getting to me I think. If it were possible I would love to take a vacation from this shit. _Fat chance though._

 

 

Carl finished cleaning his last weapon and looked at me expectantly. I chuckled. I loved the enthusiasm of this kid. Even though it was boring he still did it without complaining, minus the huffing of course.

“Go to your dad's truck and grab the roll of knives and hatchets under the driver’s seat. I'll teach ya how to sharpen them, then maybe we'll go do something a bit more fun”

“Cool” he said getting up and running over to the truck.

I went back to cleaning my Baretta, getting lost in it.

 

I sighed looking up, I'd been distracted cleaning my weapon I hadn't realised Carl still hadn't returned. _Where had that kid gotten to?_ I asked myself. It shouldn't take that long to find those weapons. _Better go find him before he gets into trouble by either of his parents or I get in trouble by his parents._ I stood up and looked at the truck. I could see the driver’s side door open on the opposite side. I was about to call out, when I was halted in my tracks. That uneasy feeling had crept back and this time I had a notion shit was about to hit the fan.

 

 

**Bang!**

 

A single shot sounded, coming from the direction of the gate and I looked around just to see Glenn drop to his knees, blood starting to stain the shoulder of his t-shirt.

“Shit, Glenn!” I yelled.

“Oh my god, Carl! Where's Carl?” Lori called behind me panicked.

I stood, grabbing my bow and shouldering it and then looked around frantically to the truck, I couldn't see him anywhere.

“Shit, where the hell are you kid?” I muttered to myself. I turned to Lori. “He was just at the truck. I must check on Glenn, he's been shot. I'll be a minute then I'll be right behind you ok?” I said trying to keep some calm in my voice in order not to alert Lori too much.

“He could be hurt” she sobbed.

“He'll be fine. He can't have gotten far. I promise I'll be right behind you. I need to check Glenn first. Start at the truck, ok?” I breathed.

She ran off towards the truck. I knew I needed to get up to Glenn fast and make sure he was ok, then I would go look for Carl. I climbed the ladder as fast as I could.

 _“Carl!”_ I could hear Lori yelling. I looked back over my shoulder and I could see her at the truck. He wasn't there. She was looking round frantically for him. Then moved out of my line of sight.

“Shit Glenn...” I cursed to myself and pulled myself up the ladder faster.

I could hear him groaning above me. Just as I got to eye-line with the trailer I saw the small pool of blood next to Glenn, coming from his shoulder. I crawled up beside him, taking my hoody from around my waist. I needed to slow this bleeding.

“I need to stop the bleeding. This is going to hurt. Now lift your arm” I said. I quickly wrapped the hoody around his shoulder and tied it tight. Hopefully slowing the bleeding. Glenn winced.

“Sorry” I mumbled.

 

“Carl?!” Lori yelled, somewhere ahead of me.

“Mom!” I heard Carl's scared voice sob cry out.

It was only now I looked up to see the situation we were in. A group of five heavily armed men stood in front of a van, one man holding Carl at gun point. The kid looked terrified and tried to struggle against his captor, only to still when the man said something quietly to him. _Bastard was threatening the kid._

 _“Carl!”_ Lori yelled again rushing forward. She halted in her tracks when she saw him being threatened by his captors.

I stood grabbing a bolt and my bow off my shoulder, notching it in the string ready. “Let the kid go!” I growled loudly, my eyes looking down the shaft, the arrowhead pointed at the man holding Carl.

 

Out of the corner of my eye I saw Rick, T-dog and Maggie approach down the road towards the van, guns drawn.

Maggie looked up to me, looking for Glenn. I nodded at her, silently telling her he was mostly ok. She looked worried but this wasn't the time to have the conversation. He was still alive and I think I had slowed the bleeding.

“Let my son go!” Rick called getting a tighter grip on his gun.

“Not without a trade” the leader said clutching Carl tighter.

“What...what do you want?” Rick said and I could hear the fear for his son's life in his voice.

“Well, you see we're just trying to survive like you folk...and it’s not food or ammo we're after” the leader explained.

“Well what do you want then?” Rick bit out.

“Glad you asked” he smiled, “Since we're nearing the end of the world, there's just one thing we don't have a lot of...women.” And I could feel as his eyes landed on me, then to Maggie and then Lori, then he looked behind Rick smirking. I followed his gaze to see three other armed men, corralling Daryl, Hershel, Carol, Beth towards Rick and the others. Their weapons gone. Daryl was pissed, cussing the entire way. One man shoving Daryl to walk faster, only causing him to cuss more. It was only when he saw they had Carl he quietened down, his anger contained for now. I saw him quickly eye me on top of the trailer.

 

“We'll trade the kid for one of your women” he called, then his eyes wandered to each of the group. “We'll take...her” he said, his eyes landing on me and pointing to me. _You've got to be kidding me. I am not an object to be bought. The fucking nerve of this guy._ “The girl for your son. It’s a simple trade.” He'd given his _offer._

“Just give me my son back” Rick pleaded.

“Rick...” I heard Lori sobbed, pleading from behind him.

“She won't be any danger with us. We treat them right. Clothe them. Feed them. Keep them safe. And in return they help grow our camp. We aren't barbarians who rape and pillage. We are civilised. Note we aren't taking your weapons or supplies. We have no need for them. _Now_ , you're surrounded, so don't test me” the leader said angrily pulling on Carl, just enough to get Rick's attention and everyone else's.

“Look we can work this out, no one has to get hurt” Rick pleaded again.

“Drop your weapons, get on your knees and no one else will get hurt” the leader commanded. “Hand over the girl and do anything other than that and we won't have a problem, you don't want your son to get hurt now?” he taunted.

“We should kill this one” a man pointed to Daryl, “He killed Franky!”

“Franky was a liability” the leader said flatly, not bothering to show any sympathy.

“He was _my_ family!” the man yelled and then turned to face Daryl, using the end of his gun he clocked Daryl over the head, dropping him to his knees. Daryl cussing loud enough for me to hear.

“Jack!” the leader yelled. And the man, Jack, recoiled, stepping away from Daryl a few feet, his weapon still trained on Daryl. Daryl clutched his jaw, spitting out the blood at his feet. I could tell that just pissed Daryl off more. He already had his fists clenched. And I was sure that if Carl wasn't in immediate danger right now, there would be no stopping him. _Bull in a china shop._

 

The leader turned his attention back to the group. “Now...” he said clapping Carl on the shoulder, making the boy flinch. “On a sign of good faith, I'll give you your boy back, if you drop your weapons now and then hand over the girl. We can do it easy or we can drag her kicking and screaming, take the other women too and make them all watch as I slaughter every single one of you.” he said menacingly. His eyes flicking up to me. I saw Rick follow his gaze too. Rick looked so conflicted now and I couldn't blame him. I didn't want to go but for Carl I would. I hated how our world has come to this. _Where's the damn cavalry when you need them? Or a walker herd? Shit never thought I would be praying for biters to show up._

The leader glared at Rick, then released Carl, patted him on the shoulder and Carl took off running towards his father. Rick quickly pushing him into Lori's arms, shielding them both with his body. Rick still had his gun pointed towards the leader.

“You can't take any of **_my_** family. I won't let it happen” Rick growled.

“So, you want to do this the hard way” the leader said narrowing his eyes.

“Women are not items to be bought and sold!” I yelled in anger.

“Oh, I like her, she's got _spirit_ ” one man said to the leader, the leader grinning at the man.

“Why don't go just go back to where ever the fuck you came from. There isn't anything here for you! I am not a whore to be sold!” I yelled. He just smiled at me before raising his gun again.

 

**Bang!**

 

When they had thrown that ultimatum out there it angered me. I had loudly and with a lot of... _spirit_ told them go fuck themselves. But when they fired a shot and it hit Beth in the arm, sending her to the ground, whimpering in pain. I knew they weren't fucking around. I knew what I had to do, sacrifice myself once again for my family. _Why is it that I am usually the lamb going to the slaughter?_ But if it meant they were safe and away from these assholes, I could deal with it, even with as bad as I knew it was going to get. I doubted they treated their women right. Women were just a commodity to them. And I wasn't going to come quietly either. _Insert evil grin here. They were going to regret this._

And my anger showed when I shot one of their guys, watched him bleed out with a bolt through the carotid artery. _Stupid idiot pulled the bolt out, I couldn't help but smirk at that._ Bastard bled out like a stuck pig. That one deserved it, with the disgusting looks he gave me and the other women.

 

His group showed some hostility raising their weapons once again, the sound of safety's coming off and guns being cocked, the leader turned to the man still bleeding out and fired a shot through the man's brain, none of his men flinching. The man now lying dead on the ground, blood pouring out of both the wounds. He fired another shot, this time only inches from where I was standing, hitting an AC unit that was perched on top of the trailer.

 

Hershel had rushed to Beth, tending to her wound.

“Ya just don't seem to get it, do you? You're surrounded. You're either walking out of this with one less person or we take her anyway and the other women and kill the rest of you. How many more have to die or get hurt before you realise this?” he taunted, his eyes flicking to mine at the end.

Everyone else seemed to give up at that point, dropping their weapons, two of the men walking up and kicking the weapons out of reach and pushing everyone to their knees. Rick looked up at me regretfully. I gave him the smallest of nods.

 

“You too sweetheart, drop the bow, or I'll drop one of your family next, maybe it'll be your boyfriend next” the leader seethed.

 

I sighed heavily, clenching the bow tighter in my grip. _They **had** been watching us._ “Fine, I'll go” I said quietly. Saying only loud enough that none of the group or my family below could hear, only Glenn, as he was lying at my feet. I needed to work up the courage to do this. Because once I said this out loud, shit was going to hit the fan. My family was going to be pissed I was giving myself up to them. I just didn't see another way out. Hershel was tending to Beth, Glenn was lying next to my feet still bleeding and everyone else was on their knees, lined up and weapon-less.

I felt a tug on my ankle, it was Glenn, he was looking up at me, shaking his head.

“Don't do this” he spluttered out.

“I have to. For you. For Beth. For everyone...For my family” I said smiling, a hint of a tear threatening to burst forward.

“Don't leave us Camille” he said wincing as pain rushed through him.

“I... I'll find you guys, I don't know how but I will. Look after my bow. And tell _him..._ I'm sorry and that I...” I couldn't finish the sentence, I wasn't even sure I had those feelings for him, I hadn't even begun to process what I felt for him. A single tear falling down my cheek. “Now keep pressure on that wound. And don't you dare die Glenn Rhee.”

I swallowed nervously, taking a deep breath. Glenn nodded silently to me, I think he understood what I was about to say, whether he would tell Daryl I wasn't sure. But I couldn't think about that right now, that would make me crumble. I looked up to the group of marauders. The anger finding its way back.

“Fine you have a deal. If I go, you leave my family alone? No one else gets hurt?” I called. I felt the stares from below. I couldn't look at them just yet. Afraid that if I did, I would change my mind.

“Camille?” Carol stuttered.

“Don't do this” Daryl gruffly said. I could hear the anger in his voice too.

“You don't have to do this Camille” Rick said.

“Yes, we'll leave them be, if you come now” the leader said. I nodded in agreement. I slowly got down on one knee, laying my bow next to Glenn. I meekly smiled, squeezing his hand.

“I'll tell him” he said and I could see the tears in his eyes.

 

Raising my hands, I slowly rose, walking to the edge of the trailer.

“C'mon now sweetheart, we ain't got all day” the leader drawled, the impatience evident in his voice. I wanted to wipe that stupid look off his face. _And I would. All in good fucking time._ An amazing amount of curse words floated through my head. I was so angry at the situation. I made my way down the ladder at the end of the trailer. Stepping off the ladder, I took another deep breath, raised my hands again and slowly turned around, two men were approaching me and out of the corner of my eye I saw Daryl flinch, like he was about to move, but Rick reigned him in, having a silent conversation with him, telling him to stay put. I walked towards my family, seeing the looks in their eyes, it was heart-breaking. The look on Daryl's face though was haunting me, it was the hardest thing to do, just give myself up for _my family._

“Don't go Camille” Carl sobbed beside his mother. That bought a tear to my eye. I had formed a bond with the kid over the last few days. I hoped his parents could explain why I'm doing this. _I hope he understands._

I look to Rick next, I can see him pleading me not to go with them. He knows what will happen to me, what they'll do to me. _I do too._

“I'll find you” I whisper. He gives me the smallest of nods. I don't promise that I'll make it back to them because I don't know if that is possible but if I ever get free I'll be looking for them.

I caught eyes with everyone else, Lori, Carol and Maggie all had tears in their eyes. Hershel looked worried, as his eyes flicked between the marauders, Beth and me. I could look at each of them for a few seconds as I could feel the tears starting build up.

 

Lastly, I look to Daryl. The anger was rolling off him in giant waves right now, he was pissed about the situation, at this group of men and at me. I hope Rick will be able to keep him grounded. I know once I leave he's going to lose his mind and he's going to be the worst person to be around, until he calms down. Which I don't expect to be for a few hours, that's if they're lucky, but it will most likely last several days, at best.

“Daryl...I...” I whisper, choking on the words.

“Don't fuckin' do this woman!” he seethed in a low voice, his eyes fixed on the ground.

“There isn't a choice. I _don't_ want to do this” I spoke softly.

“Then don't fuckin' do it!” he growled angrily.

“Think we should get the brunette too boss, since this one...” he gestured to Daryl, “killed Harry” one man says as he pointed at Maggie.

“No” I growl angrily turning to face the leader, “The deal is for me and only me!”, narrowing my eyes at the leader.

“She's right Finn. We'll find you another somewhere else” the leader says to Finn, who looks a little put out now.

“Don't fucking do this damnit!” Daryl growled out quietly.

“Chris pat her down, make sure she's not carrying” he says to the youngest male. He looked to be in his early twenties, had an obedient puppy thing about him.

 

I turned around to see Chris standing in front of me, looking nervous. Which puzzled me, he was a good head taller than me, lean but solid. He looked me up and down quickly looking for weapons. Not making any further movement towards me.

“For fucks sake” one of the other men growled, stepping beside Chris and shoving him out of the way. “Let me show you how a real man does this” he smirked before stepping forward and roughly “feeling” for weapons. Although why I would store weapons on my tits or ass I would have no idea.

I heard Daryl behind me.

“Get yer' fuckin hands off her” he growled.

“Seem to be pissing of your boyfriend” he whispered in my ear.

“Well if you actually looked for weapons...” I muttered.

“Ya know I saw you and him this morning, on your knees, giving him head behind one of the trailers. He looked like he really enjoyed it. Ya must be good at it...mmm can't wait to try that out” he whispered crudely in my ear.

I felt myself freeze with fear. _How long had they been watching us for?_

 _“_ Fuckin' get yer' hands off her!” Daryl yelled louder this time.

“Daryl” I heard Rick grunt, trying to calm Daryl down.

Finally getting fed up with the man's search for weapons I spoke up, “The only weapons I have on me is the knife in my boot” I sigh frustrated. I just wanted this part over. Especially now that they knew it was riling up Daryl.

He reached down and pulled the knife from my boot and chucked it off to the side.

“Ya sure that's all ya got” he asked running his hand up my legs.

“Didn't I fucking say that was all I had” my anger starting to flare again.

He continued to pat me down. Finally satisfied when no more weapons were found.

“She's clean” the man reported back to the leader.

“Fine. Let's go!” the leader barked.

Chris grabbed me by the arm and started to pull me towards the van, his eyes had a look of pleading to them, like he wasn't all for this plan but I should go along with it, as if I didn't, there would be consequences. I looked back over my shoulder, one last look at the group. _I'll find you. I'm sorry. I hope I'm doing the right thing. Fuck my life, I'm a magnet for this shit. I'm sorry Daryl. I'm so fucking sorry._

“You try to follow us and we'll slit her throat and leave her on the road in a bloody mess” he threatened. And to make his point as soon as I was near enough, he grabbed me from Chris, pulled me back against his chest, held me by the chin roughly tipping my head back, exposing my throat and held a blade to it. I froze feeling the blade press into my skin, he moved it slightly and I felt the burn of the blade breaking my skin only barely. He stilled the movement and took the blade away.

 

I watched as Daryl moved quickly towards me, Rick trying to stop him. Three men drew weapons on him. He stilled, the anger evident, his eyes focused on me. I pleaded him silently to stop. He went to move again and one of the men whacked him over the head, dropping Daryl to his knees. Another man kneed him in the face, sending him on to his back. Blood pouring from his nose.

“Leave him alone!” I pleaded, struggling against the leader, not caring about the blade that was pressing into my throat again. I only seemed to still when I felt it nick a little deeper this time, making me wince.

“Now that you know I'm serious, we'll be on our way” he said in a charming yet terrifying tone.

I could still hear them hitting and kicking Daryl. The sound scared me. And I was helpless and unable to stop them.

 

 

I was pushed back into Chris' grasp and was moved to the back of the van. I got one more look at my family, Daryl lying on the ground, clutching his side and face, before they shoved me into the back of the van. The men climbing in after me. I was sat on a bench and wiped my hand over my throat, where he'd held the knife. Bringing my hand back in front of my face, blood smeared over my hand. I wasn't gushing blood, just enough for the leader to make his point. A man instructed me to hold my hands out, when I refused and just glared at the man giving me the orders, my hands were yanked out in front of me. I managed to move my foot enough to kick him hard in the shins. He retaliated by pulling harder on my arms, his fingers digging painfully into my flesh, making me wince.

“Fucking hold her” he growled to Chris who was sat beside me. I saw his eyes flash quickly to mine then grabbed a hold of my arms, restricting my movements. I was zip-tied at my wrists and then at my ankles and then a hood placed over my head. I felt a man sitting either side of me. And then we were leaving. I felt the tears run down my cheeks. The men talked amongst themselves, about what a good “haul” they had managed to snag this trip. I stayed silent, just listening, gathering information. _These fuckers were going to die. That was already decided._

 

“How long were you watching us?” I asked from under my hood.

The conversation stopped in the truck.

“What does it matter?” a man said beside me.

“Was it your torch light in the trees a few nights back across the river?”

“Yes” someone replied.

“So, you were watching us the whole time?”

“Yes” they answered again.

I felt my insides clench in fear. _They had been watching us the whole time. I knew my hunch had been right._

“Mark, knock her out, don't need her causing trouble for the trip home” the leader said from the front. I winced as I felt a pin prick in my arm. _Wankers, they're fucking drugging me?_ I breathed as steadily as I could. But I could feel the sleepiness catching up with me. _Damnit I needed to be awake. So, I could gather more intel and figure out how long we're driving. Damnit stay awake!_ I scrunched my eyes trying to fend of the darkness that wanted to envelop me.

“Sweet dreams sweetheart” a man drawled in a muffled voice beside me. I could feel myself slowly losing consciousness. I was trying to fight it but losing the battle, my body feeling heavier. I started to slip further off the seat, two pairs of arms either side of me held me in place.

Then I was out. Consumed by the darkness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oooo cliffhanger! Hope the smut was satisfactory...I hope he get's to make it up to her!  
> As always I'm a sucker for the reviews...Let me know what you think?


	30. Broken, Beaten & Scarred

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So something a little different this chapter, this time its from from Daryl's POV.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this chapter was a bit of a struggle to write, because that damn Dixon boy is more complex than even I realized. So its taken me a bit longer than I expected to write this. I'm happy with how this chapter has turned out and hope everyone likes it too. Writing this made me cry, and laugh and have a few aww moments.  
> Now there is one person I have to dedicate this to as she was the one who inspired me to write this chapter from, Sevvus :) She has been an amazing with her support for me writing this and honestly needed some of her feedback to help me write this the best I can.  
> Again thanks to those who reviewed, kudos and followed!!  
> Ok so I've rambled enough. Enjoy!

**Daryl's POV:**

 

The day had started out fine. And that should have been my first clue. Before Camille found me to do the perimeter check, I had thought I had seen someone out in the trees. But it was for the briefest of seconds and as my eyes continued to survey the woods, I saw nothing. After that when we were doing the sweep, nothing else felt off. _I should 'ave been more careful. I should 'ave checked properly, not just brushed it aside._

 

And then she pulls _that_ stunt by the trailers. I had half a mind to storm off and fucking leave her there, pulling that shit while we were supposed to be checking the fence-line. Anyone could have walked by. But I got sucked into the moment and well, shit it had been all worth it. If I'd had my way I would have gone somewhere away from possible prying eyes. And she knew I could have stopped her at any point. But I didn't. The prospect of making it up to her had weighed on my mind up until those assholes showed up.

 

 

 

“Fine you have a deal. If I go, you leave my family alone? No one else gets hurt?” she called from the top of the trailer. My head snapped up to look at her. _She has to be fuckin' kiddin', right?_ I felt the anger burning through me as I continued to look in her direction, panic also starting to creep in. _She was not goin' to hand 'erself over to these pricks. Not on my fuckin' watch._ I heard some of the others gasp at her statement but I was paying them no attention, mine was fixed on her. She still wouldn't look in any of our directions. _Not at me either._ She had momentarily flinched ever so slightly hearing the others react to her statement. I felt my anger increase as I looked over to the men standing by their vehicle, weapons raised towards us. My fists were clenched at my sides, my wrath barely contained. A few bits of rock digging into my knees through my jeans, as we had all been forced on our knees, our weapons discarded. My crossbow still sitting back by the river, along with some of the other's weapons. We were backed into a corner and I wasn't sure how we would get out of this, and stay alive.

 

“Don't do this...” I growled out, watching her hesitate for a brief second.

“You don't have to do this Camille” Rick pleaded beside me.

“Yes, we'll leave them be, if you come now” the leader agreed, my eyes flicking straight to him. He smirked in my direction. I clenched my fist tighter, feeling my nails bite into my palm as we all knelt on the dirt. _Who th'fuck were these pricks? Fuckin' think they can take our women...my woman..._

 

 

My eyes flicked back up to her, watching her as she started to move, taking off her bow and crouching, whispering to where Glenn was, before she stood and moved to the end of the trailer. Her eyes fixed ahead of her, not daring to look in our direction, _at me._

“C'mon now sweetheart, we ain't got all day” the leader snapped a little impatiently at her. He wanted his prize and he wanted to be gone. He didn't want us to get an opportunity to fight back. They may have come packing but looking at them, most looked to have no clue how to hold their weapons. They weren't properly trained. And this could work to our, _my,_ advantage.

 

I watched as she stepped down off the trailer. I saw movement from the corner of my eyes, two men making their way towards her as she moved towards us. One of the men was looking her up and down, my fists clenching tighter again, a low growl escaping my lips, he heard this started to grin in my direction _._ The other man, well boy, looked on edge, his eyes flicking to either side of him, looking for an exit. Rick glared at me to calm down, before it gets one of us killed. It took every ounce of self-control I had not to leap up and slit every one of their throats.

 

She finally looked up to everyone, her eyes landing on me last. I tried, I pleaded with a look to tell her not to go but she tore her eyes from mine too fast. And I felt lost.

 

“Don't go Camille” I heard Carl cry behind me. I could see her swallow back the tears. He'd come to care for her more over the past week. Shit, she had even got him to act like a kid. I'd seen them practising two days ago, near the fence-line, her teaching him some basic defensive moves and overheard their conversation when he bought up talking about her dad. She'd smiled before changing the subject, the sadness hiding behind her features.

 

“I'll find you” she whispered to Rick, him nodding in the slightest. She'd chosen her words deliberately, making sure not to promise. She knew she might not make it back alive. And that seemed to piss me off more. _She can't fuckin' do this!_ I swallowed back the thoughts that she might not come back, I wasn't ready to accept that. _Na-uh no fuckin' way_. Her eyes fell to the rest of the group, blinking away tears.

 

Lastly her eyes found mine. My breath hitched and I watched as her face grow with sadness, I tried to reign in the look that was presently on my face, knowing she more than likely thought I was angry with her. _Well I was, but it was more to do with the fuckers who were trying to take her from me. And then her just giving herself up. Had she fuckin' hit her head?_

“Daryl...I...” she choked out. I felt anger sip back onto my features again before quickly bringing them back. My eyes falling to the ground.

“Don't fuckin' do this woman!” I growled out, anger lacing the words. I kept my eyes on the ground, afraid to look at her now. I didn't trust myself, how I'd react.

“There isn't a choice. I _don't_ want to do this” she said taking a step towards me, her boots coming into my eye-line, her voice breaking slightly. I looked up, tears forming once again in her eyes.

“Then don't fuckin' do it!” I spat, my voice raising. I hated that she was doing this. I wanted to shake the stupid right out of her. I wanted to yell at the top of my lungs for her not to go. I wanted to kill every last one of these fuckers. But mostly, I wanted it to not be her.

“Daryl” Rick cautioned in a low whisper.

 

I looked over to my left seeing one of the men glaring at me, clutching his weapon tighter, hatred burning in his eyes. He'd hit me in the ribs when they first jumped us down by the river. I had a feeling that was more to do with the man I had killed prior. “Think we should get the brunette too boss, since this one...” he gestured to me. _Fuckin' prick deserved it to, sneakin' up on us. Well I fuckin' showed 'im._ , “...killed Harry” one man said as he pointed at Maggie. Maggie looked terrified and her eyes were constantly looking up to the trailer where Glenn was. We were still in the dark about how badly injured he was. I had noticed some of the blood on her hands and a small smear on her right cheek. He had to still be alive, she was talking to him before she got off that god damned trailer.

“No!” she growled angrily turning to face the leader, “The deal is for me and only me!”, she said firmly towards the leader. _I get she wants to save everyone else but would it fuckin' kill her ta look out fer 'erself fer once. Girl gets into enough trouble without offerin' 'erself up on a silver fuckin' platter._

“She's right Finn. We'll find you another somewhere else” the leader says to Finn, the leader's eyes looking back to me again.

“Don't fucking do this damnit!” I pleaded gruffly to her. _I wasn't one to beg but she has this hold of me, that I can't explain and I knew if she went with them, she was as good as dead. Why the hell is she being so stubborn? Why won't she listen ta me? I'd protect her._

“Chris pat her down, make sure she's not carrying” the leader says to the youngest male. He looked very nervous, more so when he caught eyes with me. He stopped in his tracks, visibly swallowing his nerves. _If looks could kill..._

“For fucks sake” one of the other men growled, stepping beside the younger kid and pushing him aside till he was standing in front of Camille. He was one of the older men in the group by quite a few years, there was something about him that just screamed drunken rapist. I shuddered at the thought and ground my teeth. His eyes flicked to me, a leering smirk on his face. “Let me show you how a real man does this” his grin turning more malicious, his eyes fixed on mine the entire time, before he reached out and started feeling for weapons, groping far too long all over her body. I saw her grimace at his touch, wanting to recoil.

“Get yer' fuckin hands off her” I growled, wanting to beat him to a bloody pulp for laying his hands on her.

It was getting harder and harder not to lash out, the more he touched her and then when he leant in close to her and whispered something to her, that made her go all rigid. I wasn't sure if Rick would be able to stop me if I got going. I didn't care there were guns pointed at me. I wanted her safe. Not being touched up by some perverted old fuck!

He said something else to her, that made her eyes flick to mine in horror, I was starting to get tunnel vision, the anger was bubbling closer to the surface. She froze completely.

 _“_ Fuckin' get yer' hands off her!” I yelled louder, getting ready to move.

“Daryl” I heard Rick grunt beside me, again trying to reign me in. I looked to him and he could see the anger, he nodded once and mouthed “wait”. I sighed loudly giving him my answer. _I wouldn't be waitin' long, Rick knew that I wouldn't. But fer' everyone else's safety I had to. And it was fuckin' killin' me._

The man finally stopped his search for weapons after he'd thrown the knife from her boot away from her. He threw me one more look before turning to his boss, “She's clean” he yelled.

“Fine. Let's go!” the leader barked back at him. _Shit. I needed ta do somethin' and quick._ My mind started to panic as I looked to Rick. His eyes firmly fixed ahead, glaring at the men.

 

The young guy stepped forward again, almost looking as though he didn't agree with the situation. He grabbed her arm and started pulling her towards the van. She instantly looked back, her eyes pleading, I wasn't sure if it was to let her go or to fight for her. _Well fuck it, I wasn't takin' the first choice. Consequences be damned._

“You try to follow us and we'll slit her throat and leave her on the road in a bloody mess” the leader threatened, making sure to make eye contact with me especially. And to make his point heard, he grabbed her from the kid's grasp, pulling her back with some force against his chest, roughly grabbing her chin and placing a blade against her throat. Her body went stiff as he moved the blade ever so slightly across her neck, giving the smallest of cuts. To show his intentions were true and he wouldn't hesitate to kill her. Then he moved the blade away. I knew she was still in danger, but the anger had been bubbling for so long. It was now or never and I wasn't going to let her go without a fight. _Fuck it!_

 

I was on my feet and quickly moving towards them.

“Daryl!” Rick cautioned me, I felt him reach for me but I shrugged him off. I had tunnel vision, focused on her. I saw one man approach me from the side, I made a vicious swipe, hearing the crunch of bone and easily knocked him on his ass, he clutched his face as blood poured from his nose. Three men stepped in front of me, guns pointed towards me. I could see Camille watching in horror, she was silently begging me to stop, to just let her go. But there was no way in hell I was going to back down.

 

The only reason I froze so close to her, was when I saw the leader once again raise the knife to her throat, slicing just a little deeper this time, small drops of blood running down her throat. Her wincing quietly at the sharp sting. My eyes were fixed on the blade. All I could now hear was the thumping of my heartbeat in my ears, it was deafening. 

**Smack!**

The first blow surprised me smacking me across the back of my head, instantly dropping me to my knees. I had been too focused on her. My vision blurred momentarily.

**Smack!**

Another man kneeing me in the face, hitting me hard, sending me onto my back. I could taste the blood now running down face. I think my lip was split too.

**Smack! Smack!**

Pain racked through my body, hitting my ribs and my stomach and once on my lower back as I rolled to my side. I could taste the dirt mixed in with the metallic taste, now on my mouth.

“Leave him alone!” I heard her cry vaguely though the beating I was receiving. I was in so much pain I even couldn't turn my head to look at her.

 _“Fight damnit!”_ Merle's voice pushed me from the somewhere dark in my mind. _“C'mon son ole Merle taught ya better than that! Now get up and fuckin' show em' why ya never fuck with a Dixon!”_ His voice pushing me to fight.

I clenched my jaw and balled up my fists as tried to push myself up off the ground. Only to be bought back down with a large fist connecting with my jaw.

**Smack! Smack! Smack!**

The more they hit and kicked me, the more I found it hard to fight the darkness that was threatening to consume me.

**Smack! Smack!**

And then the blows stopped, I heard the footsteps retreat. The blood trickling down the side of my face. I heard someone yell for me. I wasn't sure who, my head was losing the battle to stay awake. And the last sound I heard before I blacked out was of the vehicle retreating down the road and the yells from the group.

 

 

 

“Are we ok?” Rick's voice called, sounding muffled.  
“All good. Taken care of the walkers that have wandered close. But we need to keep watch. Can't be too careful” T-dog's voice ringing through from somewhere further off.

“Rick, he's waking up” Carol called.

“Daryl...Daryl?” I heard Rick's voice call above me.

 

My sides ached and the metallic taste pooled in my mouth, the faint taste of dirt still present. _What th' fuck happened?_ I tried opening my eyes but my vision was no co-operating. As my eyes started to focus I could see Rick and Hershel leaning over me.

“Woah, easy there Daryl” Hershel said placing a hand on my shoulder as I tried to move.

 

Then my brain started to kick into gear. It recounted everything and why my body was in so much pain everywhere. My eyes snapped open and I grasped the reality of the situation.

“Shit, Camille? Where....Is she gone? Which way did they go? How long ago? We gotta go after 'er!” I blurted out in one breath.

I didn't miss the look between Rick and Hershel.

“We know which way they went. But that was over an hour ago” Rick said almost recoiling at his words.

I pushed myself up again, ignoring the pain flaring everywhere in my body and Rick and Hershel's protests. I now looked around and could see I wasn't outside any more, I was in one of the trailers.

“Daryl, take it easy. You took several blows to the head and I wouldn't be surprised if you cracked a rib or two from the way they were kicking you. You need to rest.” Hershel tried in a commanding voice. I wasn't having any of it. I didn't care how hurt I was right now. I needed to get her back. Back to her family. _Back to me._

It just dawned on me. “Why hadn't you gone after 'er?” I growled back at them, the anger starting to ripple outwards again.

“We ran out there as soon as their van left. But...then walkers showed up, a lot of them...and then we had to take care of Beth and Glenn and you” Rick explained. But by the look on his face, he was feeling the guilt as well. _But it wasn't his fault._

“Well we're wastin' time sittin' 'ere talkin' bout it, so let’s go!” I said pulling myself up and standing, wincing as I reached for my crossbow.

Rick looked to me hesitantly. He knew he wasn't going to be able to talk me down from this. I was going with or without his help.

“Ok” he relented, “You and I will take the car and look for her, ok? The others need to stay here, too many of us are hurt” he said, his eyes flicking to outside the trailer before landing back on me.

“Fine let's go, we're burnin' daylight” I grunted as more pain wracked through me.

 

I didn't look at anyone as I exited the trailer heading straight for the car. I heard the murmurs and felt the stares but I didn't care about any of that right now.

“You're hurt Daryl. You shouldn't be going like this” Carol scolded.

“ 'm not leavin' 'er out there with those psychos!” I growled.

“We know that and we don't want to either but you should let someone go in your place...”

“No fuckin' way, it’s my fault. I need ta fix it” I yelled, pushing past her. I heard her sigh but I didn't care. We needed to get out there and find her fast.

 

 

I was impatiently bouncing my leg as we drove along the road heading to the next town. Rick drove and Carl sat in the back-seat, both silent. Rick would glance at me every few minutes.

“Quit watchin' me” I grumbled staring out the window.

“You should have stayed back” Rick said cautiously.

“Ya gotta be kiddin' me, right? I wasn't just goin' ta stay back” I winced, my ribs hurting, the angrier I got. “I have ta save 'er” I said in a low voice.

“We will do everything we can” Rick replied.

“We're gonna get her back...Dad found me and Mom, so she'll find us too. I know it” Carl said from the back-seat. _The kid was way too optimistic. I wish I could feel the same way as him._ I watched as Rick looked back through the rear-view mirror at his son, obviously cautioning him. Neither of them said a word until we hit the town.

 

After searching four houses on the outskirts of town with no luck, the frustrations were showing. By the fifth house my anger was surfacing. The frustration of not finding her was causing me to be the reckless one. _Oh, how she'd like to scold me fer' that._ One more than one occasion Rick had to pull me back, telling me to “pull my head in”. I'd snapped at him several times for doing so as well. I knew he was only tolerating my behaviour because of the situation.

After the houses were a bust, we started searching the streets for any signs of her or the van. But every street we drove down we came up with nothing. I killed the walkers we came across when there were only a few. We had to back track only twice when we came across too many and had to turn back. We figured if walkers had come through there, they couldn't be there. _So where th'fuck were they?_ The sun was now starting to set, we'd been at this all day. The hope of finding her was slipping further and further away.

We hadn't found a single trace of her or the van. We'd searched the entire town, looking for her but nothing. As soon as we came back to camp, everyone had the same look of pity in their eyes, everyone saying how sorry they were. I didn't want to hear it. I ignored them all and walked straight into the trailer to the bed I had shared with her for only a few nights. The t-shirt she had slept in the previous night was still laying on the bed. I dropped my crossbow to the floor and sat on the bed with my head on my hands, all the events from today playing over and over in my mind. I opened my eyes and saw her bag, the top of her bottle of tequila sticking out the top. _Surely she'd forgive me fer drinkin' it? After the day I'd had I fuckin' deserved it!_ Grabbing the bottle from the bag, I unscrewed the lid and gulped several mouthfuls. The burn was welcome. I just wanted to pass out and forget about today. I lay back on the bed, clutching the bottle in one hand, staring up at the roof of the trailer.

_“She's just a piece of ass Darlina. Why th'hell ya gettin' yer' panties in a twist? Plenty more pussy out there. So, stop ya cryin' and grow a fuckin' pair, 'fore I have ta kick yer' teeth in”_ Merle's voice taunted me behind closed eyes, as I lay on the bed. I growled in frustration, muttering curses at the brother I knew wasn't there. But his presence still haunting me all the same. _“Merle knows best baby bro. Now fuckin' get over it!”_ he growled.

“Shut it Merle” I grumbled taking another swig from the bottle, only to come up with nothing. It was empty. I dropped the bottle to the floor. Still feeling the effects of the alcohol, I managed to shut my eyes.

 

 

I woke with a hell of a hangover. Tequila had been a bad idea. _I still don't understand why she liked drinkin' it. If only she still 'ad some of that shine she 'ad back at the farm. That I could 'ave drunk._ But I wouldn't have slept without it. Merle's voice hadn't helped the situation either. Even when he's not here, he still causes trouble.

 

Feeling awake enough, I decided I needed to blow off some steam before we go look again today. Hopefully huntin' would bring me some zen. I grabbed my bow after downing the bottle of water next to the bed. I guessed Carol or Hershel had left it there.

 

I started to walk out of camp when Carol called asking where I was heading. All I replied with was _“huntin”_ and just carried on walking towards the trees.

 

 

I'd been walking through the woods for the last hour, coming across several walkers, taking them out one by one. _She would 'ave called me reckless today._ I sighed. Each time I killed a walker, it was more brutal and bloody than the previous. I was taking whatever anger I had left out on them. Still very close to the river, I washed up what I could, getting rid of the blood and gore that were splattered on my hands.

 

I wasn't sure how I ended up here but before I knew it was staring up at the ranger tower we had taken shelter in. I hadn't intended to walk anywhere near here. This place held too many memories now. I was almost angry at myself for leading myself here. _This was the last place I needed or wanted to be._ Regardless of having come out to the woods to get away from everyone. I just needed some space to process and possibly kill something. And I'd definitely taken care of the killing part.

 

I shouldered my crossbow and started up the ladder. Upon reaching the top, I grabbed my buck knife out and knocked on the hatch. I waited. Hearing nothing, I pushed the hatch open and pulled myself inside, placing my crossbow on the floor. _Why th'hell was I here?_ I was regretting coming up here almost immediately. The anger starting to surface once again. _Why didn't she fight back...why did she just hand 'erself over to those pricks? Why?_

I lashed out swiping my arm across the table, sending the books and radio to the ground with a loud crash. I stood over the table, panting, my ribs hurting. I smashed my fist down in anger, and pushed myself off the table, backing up till my back found the wall. I slid down the wall, dropping my head against my chest. _It was a mistake comin' 'ere. Every inch of this place reminds me of 'er._

 

I looked up and glanced around the small room everything from that night came flooding back. _Findin' this place and havin' ta hold up while the herd passed us. The way she smiled lookin' out into the rain. Her fallin' asleep. Talkin' bout Merle. Teasin' her when I found the rubbers. Kissin' her. Touchin' her. Wakin' up fer' round two. Wakin' up to her pressed up against me in the mornin'._ So much good happened here. Even when she had seen my back the night before, she never asked, she knew I wouldn't tell her. She helped distract me. _And damn did it distract me._ I inwardly laugh to myself. It’s not really in my nature to talk about that part of my life. But I know she would listen if I decided to open those wounds.

 

I stayed in the tower for a good hour before I decided to leave. I sat against the wall just staring blankly at the room, thinking over everything. I was still blaming myself for not being able to save her in time. Now she was gods knows where and I didn't want to think about what was going to happen to her while she was with those pigs. I don't want her to come back damaged and broken, like I am.

 

With renewed focus I decided to head back to camp. I needed to get back on the search. I still wouldn't be able to ride just yet. I shouldn't have even come out this morning. I'm sure Hershel will have a word with me when I get back, but more than likely he'll steer clear of me. Mostly everyone was. Rick was the one who drew the short straw I guessed. And then Carol wouldn't stop mothering me. I get it, I'm injured but I can walk and I'm fine. She needs to stop.

 

 

Getting back to camp, Rick was the first to approach me. Everyone else still to keeping their distance. I couldn't blame them I was being an asshole to everyone.

“Been looking over the map while you were out. I think there's a few places just a little north of the town worth checkin' out. We can leave in five?”

I nodded in agreement and walked over to grab another bottle of water, Hershel holding out some pain medication for me. I silently took them, giving him a nod then waited by the car for Rick.

 

We were figuring they had to have a base camp or compound set up somewhere close. It had to be big enough to hold several people. Not a town but a small community. The way they had worded everything, made it seem like there were people waiting for them to return. Rick had marked off possible places they could be holding up. At this stage, we were just guessing to be honest. But we were looking.

We were driving to the next location Rick had marked on the map. We had been silent since we exited the last house.

“What if we don't find her?” Carl asked from the back seat. Rick instantly tensing beside me, his eyes flicking up to the rear-view mirror.

“Carl...” Rick cautioned.

I sighed. I had been wondering this also. I didn't want this to be the final result, but that option had been rolling around in my head. “I don't know...guess we...” I couldn't finish the sentence.

“We'll keep looking” Rick said his eyes flicking again up to the rear-view mirror.

 

It was silent for a few minutes before Carl spoke again. “Was she your girlfriend?” he asked curiously.

I heard Rick smirk, the crack of a smile on his face. “He asked the same thing to Camille a week ago, she'd said you were _just friends..._ ” he turned giving me a knowing look, “Even I didn't believe that” he whispered.

“Yeah, just friends kid” I smirked, looking out the window.

We pulled up to the next location, seeing half a dozen walker bodies strewn about over the big lawn. As we drove closer, we could see a glint from a vehicle parked behind the barn. Rick inched closer and instantly stopped when we both recognised the van. I was out the door and running towards it.

“Camille!” I yelled, my eyes scanning the area.

I heard both Rick and Carl start yelling for her also. We weren't hearing a reply, which filled me with dread.

Our yelling must have attracted attention as two walkers came stumbling out from behind a shed next to the barn. I held my crossbow up, my body still aching from yesterday and pulled the trigger. I watched as the bolt impaled through its left eye and dropped to the ground. Rick was beside me and took the machete to other walker’s skull. It too falling to the ground beside the other walker.

Grabbing the bolt from the walker, I quickly reloaded it and walked back towards the vehicle. Carl was standing a few feet behind us, a pistol in hand, watching our backs. Rick stood by the back door of the van and counted down in silence and as I waited for him to open the door. On one he flung open the door, raising his gun as well.

But as we looked inside it was empty. No one was there. No bodies either. So, she had to be alive, right? I looked to Rick and he lowered his weapon, a look of sadness now growing on his face. She wasn't here.

 

My head dropped and I stared at the ground. At first I was just staring blankly at the ground, until I saw the patterns, first of the boots of several different people, their tracks leading to another set of tyre tracks, around the other side of the barn that left off and away from the property. They had another vehicle. They were more organised than we had thought. I just stared in the direction the vehicle would have drove off.

“They ain't 'ere” I said more to myself.

And so we drove back to camp in silence, feeling deflated and losing what little hope I had of finding her alive. I could only stare back out the window as we drove back to camp. Our only glimmer of hope was finding that van. Now they could be anywhere and we didn't have clue what vehicle to look for now. Or where to look. _Yeah, we had...no, I had failed._

I remember when I was kid and after my had mother died in the fire, they tried explaining five stages to grief to me. But I was a kid, I didn't understand. Years later I thought back to that day and thought the term grief only applied to when someone died. But this, the way I lost her, this counts as grief. Because I went through every damn stage.

 

 

Denial – That it wasn't really happening and that she was going to hand herself over to those pricks.

 

Bargaining – Pleading with her to stay and not to go. Listening to her beg her captors when they started to beat me. Rick pleading me to wait when they first had her.

 

Anger – Shit, I had probably held onto that emotion the most. I was angry at her. At those fuckers for taking her. The older guy who was _searching_ her for weapons, and whatever he had whispered to her that had made her freeze up and look at me. At the leader who had taken a blade to her throat to make his point. And making her bleed. _He was goin' ta pay fer' that._ I even got mad at Rick when he wanted me to stay. And when I had first come to the ranger tower. Drinking that damn tequila of hers to forget everything.

 

Depression – I'd never admit it to anyone else. When the dust finally settled and I realised she was gone and she might not come back. Every time we came back from looking somewhere new and found new leads. Merle's voice in my head taunting me. The aftermath at the ranger tower. Finding the abandoned van on the farm and realising they weren't there anymore, they were somewhere else and we had no leads.

 

Acceptance – This was the one I dreaded. It never seemed real. But I knew eventually I would need to accept what happened. And that she might not come back.

 

 

 

It had been two weeks. Two long fucking weeks since she was gone. We'd looked but there wasn't a trail. We'd only stayed this long hoping she would find her back but with more walkers coming into the trailer park each day we had to move on.

I'd talked with Rick the night before.

  
_“I know what yer' goin' ta say...we need ta move on” I said sighing heavily._

_Rick took a seat next to me, placing his hand on my shoulder, like I'd seen him do many times with her. I smiled now at the memory, as jealous as I was at the time._

_“Yeah” he sighed just as heavily, “You know I don't want to leave...We could stay...”_

_“No...it ain't safe anymore, more an' more walkers showin' up every day, it ain't safe. We gotta go.”_

I hadn't fully accepted she was gone and possibly never coming back but this was as close to acceptance as I was going to get.

 

 

So, we had packed up everything. I made sure to grab her bow, stowing it in Rick's truck. She'd kill me if I left it behind. _And I couldn't part with it just yet either. It was a piece of 'er._ I took one last look at the bed I had shared with her for only a few nights, before turning and walking towards the door. Rick nodded to me as he taped a note to the table. A note for her in case she found her way back. _When she found her way back._

I kept my head low and walked straight to my bike, crossbow slung over my shoulder, starting the bike with a roar, a quick nod to Rick and then we headed out. To the next town. My eyes still searching for her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just in case anyone is freaking out. I promise this isn't the end. We **will** find out what's happening with Camille. Promise!  
>  So what did you think of this chapter?? I hope it was Daryl enough for everybody.  
> As always I'm a sucker for reviews!!


	31. New World Order

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to Debbief722, as always love you for commenting! Also thanks to AtiliaDawnBlack for your comment too! They always make my day. I'm thinking for a possible future chapter to maybe switch it back to Daryl. What do you think? And just before you think I've duped you, this chapter is definitely about Camille. I'm sure people would kill me if I didn't post that first lol!  
> Enjoy!!

**Bang! Bang! Bang!**

The sounds of gunshots stirred me, pulling me from my drug-induced state. I froze unsure of what was happening and my bearings. I felt my body jerk slightly, hands grabbing at my feet. I opened my eyes to find the blindfold had been removed, it was lying on the floor of the van. As I looked down at my feet I was now looking back at snapping jaws and rotting flesh trying to grab me for a snack. I looked around the van to see no one was inside any more. _Where the fuck were these pricks? And had they just left me to become walker lunch? Shit, um maybe I could use this to try escape, where ever the fuck I was. I need to get rid of this walker first, then get untied, can't fucking hop back to the trailer park._ I was starting to panic, I pushed myself back further along the seat, the walker getting a tighter hold on my boots. I tried to kick and move my legs, but both were still zip-tied together. I struggled, still trying to push myself further back. My attempts becoming harder as the walker seemed to be getting a better grip on me each time, pulling itself further up my body. All I do was struggle and try kick it off me, as futile as it was.

  
I felt the weight lifted and I saw the leader pulling the walker back, dropping it to the ground and then shooting it in the head.  
“Are you ok?” he asked in a bit of panicked voice, stepping inside the van, checking me over for bites or scratches.

I nodded, not being able to get the words out. I was still panting a little and my nerves a little rocked.  
“We ran into a bit of trouble when we were changing the vehicles. Damn biters came out of nowhere. Think we're ok though. Just stay here while we sort it out” he said cupping his hand over my cheek. _If he hadn't just kidnapped me I would have considered that affectionate._ I pulled my cheek out of his hand, just glaring. He smirked back and grabbed his knife from his sheath and cut the binds to my ankles before heading back out the van. I could hear one of the men screaming. It didn't sound like it was going to well for him, not that it bothered me. _One less asshole to deal with._

 

“Luke! Luke!” one man yelled, the leader responded running over to the man.

I inched myself closer to the back of the van. I could see two of the men taking out walkers. None of them were using their guns now. I guessed they didn't want to attract more attention. At least they had some smarts. Everything else they did was questionable though.

  
Peeking my head out the door I surveyed the situation. The men were all spread out killing the approaching walkers. Walkers had been coming out from the trees. And all the men were distracted, this could be my one chance to book it. I wouldn't have time to cut the binds from my hands, I could find something later. Right now, I needed to run. I could still feel the effects of the drugs in my system and wasn't sure how I was going to get out of this any other way. I just hoped what ever they had given me, wasn't going to effect how I run.

 

Taking another look at the men, they were still distracted. This was my chance. I slid off the seat on to the floor and pushed myself along till my feet were hanging off the edge. I slowly set my feet on the ground and waited a few seconds, making sure they could take my weight. When I didn't immediately fall to my knees I kept my eyes on the men as I slowly inched my way round the side of the van and then I just took off running, having to dodge a walker that was coming towards me. I had no weapons so I ran around it, which of course made it switch directions and come after me. Growling and snapping its jaws. _Because this wasn't hard enough as it was._

 

 

I had just about made it to the tree line when I heard one of them.

“Shit, she's running!” he yelled.

“Fuckin' go after her then!” I heard Luke yell. “Now!”

I didn't look back, I just kept running. I had made it to the trees. I was now having to slow as I had to weave my way through the trees, bushes and stray branches in my path. I could hear the yelling and approaching footsteps of the men and possibly walkers, I wasn't really sure. I hoped for walkers. _Again, never thought I would be hoping for walkers._

“Get back here or you're going to fucking regret it!” one man yelled angrily.

“Go that way” one man directed.

“Don't let her get away!” Luke yelled from further back.

 

I felt like I was about to be cornered, the uneasy feeling growing in the pit of my stomach. I could see the shadows on either side me, they were closing in. _I was so fucked. I tried._ I kept running forward, dodging whatever was in my path. Whether it was a lost cause or not, I wasn't stopping just yet.

 

I stopped in my tracks when two of the men appeared in front of me. _Shit._

“Ya got nowhere to run, so unless you want to become lunch for the biters, I suggest ya start walking back. Now!” he bellowed.

I stared at the two men, assessing the risks in my brain. My hands were still tied, I still had god knows what drugs still in my system, two of these pricks were blocking my exit and there would surely be more coming up from behind, I had no weapons. In lamest terms. I. Was. So. Fucked. I had tried my hardest to get away.

“C'mon now sweetheart, we were just starting to get to know each other” I heard Luke's voice from behind me. I shuddered, and not in a good way. He still freaked the fuck out me. I could feel him now standing behind me. I glared once more at the two other men, before I slowly turned, coming face to face with Luke.

“Can't blame me for trying, right?” I said sarcastically.

He smirked. “C'mon we still have a ways to go yet, so you either walk back or I drag you back. Take your pick” he said narrowing his eyes.

I hated that I had to give in to these pricks. Without saying a word, I started walking back towards the barn and van.

“Good girl” Luke cooed from behind me.

I scrunched my face up in disgust. I hated that term, it made me feel like I was a dog. That's the way you praise a pet, not a human being. It’s so fucking condescending.

 

Walking back to the barn I was feeling defeated. I tuned out the conversation the other men were having behind me. I just kept walking forward. I could see the barn in the distance through the trees, it was starting the thin out, we were nearing the edge of the tree line.

I was just walking round a large bush when a walker appeared, coming straight for me.

“Wait. Let her handle this” Luke said behind me. _Fucking asshole. Fine I'll show him, exactly what I'll be doing to him soon enough. And with no weapons I would have to make do. Challenge accepted._ I could hear one of the other men muttering something but I couldn't make it out. I refocussed my attention on the walker. As it neared me I ducked around it, too quick for it. With one sharp kick behind it's knee, it stumbled. I made another kick to other knee, sending it finally onto its knees. The walker still too slow tried to get itself back up onto its feet but I was quicker. Another hard kick between the shoulder blades it fell forward and as luck would have it, it face-planted onto an upturned root that had been broken, impaling itself and effectively killing itself. I wasn't gonna lie, I felt so smug. I smirked back the men before turning and continuing back towards the barn.

“Shit maybe you are my kind of woman” Luke cheered behind me.

“I bet she fucks as good as she fights” one of the men smirked.

“Amen” I heard Luke whisper. All three men snickering.

“It was just a lucky shot, bet she couldn't kill another one” another man said. I wasn't sure if he was trying to bait me into a trap or something else. But either way I was ignoring it. I was already in enough trouble. And I wasn't going to join in their _conversation._

 

Finally, the barn came into view, the rest of the men standing around the van, a pile of corpses by the back of the barn, and some still scattered around the property. All eyes fell to me as I emerged from the trees, the other three men following after me.

“You pull any more stunts like that, and I'll make good on that threat of slitting your throat and leaving you to die” Luke sneered in my ear as he grabbed a hold of my arm sharply and dragged me more forcibly back towards the van. As I eyed the van, he switched directions, pulling me towards the front of the barn. Panic was starting to seep in. _Where was he taking me? Is this the end? Shit._ I tried to pull away but his grip tightened again, my body unwillingly going the same direction as his.

“We ain't killing ya sweetheart, changing vehicles is all” Luke said pulling me to a stop as we rounded to the front of the barn. Two trucks were parked, ready to go, loaded with supplies by the looks of it. _Changing vehicles, this isn't good. The others would be trying to find me, and if I'm in a different vehicle how will they know how to find me?_ I thought in a panic,

“Put her in the truck” Luke said handing me off to one of the men.

He roughly grabbed my other arm and tugged me towards the truck. He opened the back. “Get in” he commanded. I was outnumbered, unarmed and up shit creek without a paddle, I had no choices any more. I reluctantly wrenched myself onto the back-seat. The man reached beside me and I froze.

“Just getting your seatbelt darling” he drawled pulling the seatbelt out and across me, his hand coming up to the strap across my chest, his hand lingering on my breast.

“Get your fucking hand off me!” I growled. He just laughed pulling himself back and closing the door behind him.

 

I didn't have to wait very long before three of the men, Luke being one of them hopped into the truck.

“Knock her out. I want a quiet ride home” Luke ordered from the front not looking back.

I saw the man beside me, digging through a small bag, producing a needle and a small clear bottle. _Assholes._ I didn't say anything as I watched him fill the syringe. I winced when he stuck the needle in my arm, shooting whatever drugs they were into my arm.

I felt it instantly, whatever they gave me this time, was so much stronger. I was already feeling dazed. I wanted to cuss them out, but I felt far too gone to do so. I could feel my body relaxing, my eyes starting to close, the muffled voices of the men around me. And then I was out.

 

I woke groggily, groaning slightly. _Why the hell wasn't I in bed? It’s so cold._ I went to move my hands to reach for something to cover myself, when I froze. I couldn't move my hands. My eyes snapped open and it was dark. It was hard to make out anything. As I squinted I could see it was dark outside, my eyes slowly adjusting, now seeing where I was.

Then it all came flooding back. Everything that happened this afternoon. I tried moving my hands again. They were bound still. I went to move, when a large hand grabbed painfully on to my arm, their nails digging into my arm making me wince.

“She's awake boss” the man holding my arm said.

“Give her another shot, we've still another hour before we're home” Luke spoke from the front of the truck.

I heard another man chuckle, for what reason I wasn't sure. Then I felt another sharp prick in my arm.

“Stop fuckin' druggin' me” I growled out, a little sleepily.

I heard more chuckling come from around the vehicle.

The drugs were also quick to take effect. I felt myself drifting back into unconsciousness again. _Wankers._ I hated feeling this helpless.

The last thing I heard was the men laughing.

 

 

I woke in another fog, my eyes surveying the dark room. I had to blink my eyes several times before my eyes adjusted. We weren't in the truck any more, I was in a room, maybe underground from what I could determine. There weren't any windows, unless they were boarded up. The room had a musty smell to it, which further indicated it was underground, maybe a basement? I could see stairs leading upwards on the other side of the room.

 

I groaned, the bastards had drugged me on the way back, three times, probably because I wasn't being the hospitable and grateful guest that they wanted me to be. I asked too many questions. And they probably didn't want me knowing where we were heading, just in case I got free again. The less I know the better, I guessed. The drugs were just starting to wear off. _What the fuck have I gotten myself into now?_

The hood was gone, but I was still bound at my ankles and wrists. I pulled hard against the restraints, not caring if I broke skin. I knew it was useless trying to break free from zip-ties. _If I had something sharp..._

 

 

I froze when I heard the door open at the top of the stairs. They flicked the light on and I could see I was in a basement now. It was being stripped down the bare minimum. I was seated on a couch. There was another one sitting in the corner, a small table under the stairs and on the far wall were some ominous looking chains with shackles attached to the wall. I swallowed nervously. This place was the start to a torture chamber.

Luke walked down the stairs, another man I didn't recognise behind him.

“Ah good to see you're awake” he smiled taking several steps towards me. The other man following closely behind him, peering over the Luke's shoulder, watching me.

“How are you feeling? I know knocking you out may have seemed unnecessary” Luke asked as his eyes looked me up and down.

“How do you think I'm feeling? You kidnapped and drugged me!” I spat venomously.

“That was just a formality. Now, it’s time to meet our fearless leader” he said taking out a knife from his belt, I instinctively flinched at seeing the knife. He bent down, flicking the knife through the restraints on my ankles.

“I'm not taking those ones off, don't know how much we can trust you just yet. Trust has to be earned.” he pointed with his knife and narrowing his eyes before standing up.

 

I was still a little confused, as the way he had presented himself when they had ambushed us I thought he was the leader. I guessed he was the lieutenant or something to that degree. He had the respect of the other men when they had turned up and when one of his men, starting acting up he reined him in. But it worried me to think, if this was the lieutenant, then what was the leader like?

 

He pulled me to my feet and pushed me ahead of him, the other man leading the way up the stairs. I was to follow. When I didn't comply, Luke who stood behind me shoved me forward again.

“Move it” he growled.

“Or what?” I hissed.

“Don't fucking push your luck or I'll make sure to find that boyfriend of yours and make him watch while I slit your throat” he sneered quietly in my ear, giving me another nudge to move forward.

I paled at his words. I didn't want any of my family in any more danger. I hesitantly put one foot in front of the other following the other man. I knew resisting was going to be much worse now and I was outnumbered, unarmed, and still bound at the wrists. I needed to make a plan, gain a little more strength, make sure the drugs have worn off before I attack. This needed to be smart. I was on my own here. _Fuck this world, seriously._

 

 

I was led through a series of corridors, each having multiple rooms off them. I tried to keep track of where they were leading me. _Gather intel._ It was hard to remember everything, I think that was due to the drugs still in my system though. This place seemed like a maze as we kept turning down different corridors. Maybe it was the drugs still in my system that couldn't get me to focus properly. Finally, we came to a big room, several more of the men I recognised from my kidnapping. One man sat on a “throne” in the centre of the room, with a woman sat on her knees at his feet beside him, her head down, his hand sitting possessively on her shoulder. She made no eye contact when I entered. She was well and truly “trained”, nothing more than a glorified pet. His hand on her shoulder showed that. I made a mental note to myself that no matter how bad this is, I wasn't going to end up like her.

 

“As you requested Kane” Luke said from behind me, pulling me to a stop in front of Kane.

“Thank you, Luke, that will be all for now” he said and I heard Luke leave the room, a door closing behind him.

Kane sat on his throne looking me over. He was a well-built man from what I could tell, muscles straining at the shirt he was wearing. His dark hair slicked back into a ponytail. His eyes though, the way he looked at me, it was unnerving. I just stared back, not showing the fear that was threatening to break forth. I needed to stay strong, to stand tall. To show these fuckers it was a mistake taking me or threatening my family.

 

 

“So, I guess you're wondering why you're here?” he asked.

I said nothing. Just kept my eyes narrowed on the leader.

“Not much of a talker huh?” he questioned.

Again, I said nothing. I was too angry at the minute. Any slip of the tongue, with what I really wanted to say right now was going to get me into trouble. Trouble I couldn't afford, not if I was going to escape this fucking place.

“You should be grateful, we saved you from a life of savagery and filth. Here you can be protected, fed and help rebuild society.” he gestured at his _domain._

“Grateful? You've got to be fucking kidding me” I spit.

“Oh, she finally speaks. Yes _grateful._ ” he sneers.

“Well I'm not fucking grateful. I wasn't a savage and I was living perfectly fine till your pricks came along and shot up our place, threatening us till we handed over one of our women. And it sounds like to me that _you're_ the fucking savages!” I growl angrily.

“We are not savages!” one of the other men yell.

“Yeah!” another man agrees.

“Enough!” Kane bellows, everyone quietens in the room. He sits back down resting his hand back on the woman. “They did what they had to. For our mission. It may have been a little unorthodox the plan they carried out but they succeeded. They got _you_ , didn't they?” Kane said smirking.

I felt all the blood leave my face.

 

“We started off all peaceful, but this world isn't built for kind-hearted, gentle people. So, we had to get more ruthless and cunning with our mission. We wanted to build a community of like-minded people who wanted to save the human race. Because as you well know, _they_ out number us greatly. So, for the human race to survive; we need more people.” he said as he ran his fingers over the woman's shoulder, pulling her closer to him, the gesture so minute but also a show of power and possession. And an indication to their _mission._

 

It was then that the cogs started to turn, the pieces clicking into place.

“So, you built yourself a Nazi-inspired reproduction concentration camp? Hitler included?” I glared. _Probably should have kept the last comment to myself._

Kane slowly grinned. That's why they wanted women. To knock us up. _Shit._ My mind was reeling. _This was not happening. I was not going to become an incubator to serve their purpose. Shit. Shit. Shit. I'd considered that coming to this place I was in for one of two options, fun or food. I hadn't even considered that the real reason was function. Fuck._ I inwardly sighed.

 

He let it sink in for a few minutes before he started to explain. “I'll explain the rules that you must follow for the _duration_ of your stay” he said. The last part making me shudder. It sounded as though I had an expiry date. “These rules are for everyone, that includes the other men too” he said looking around the room to the other men, “Rule one is that if you step out of line for whatever reason we'll beat you and if that doesn't work and you don't learn your lesson, we'll bleed you slow and turn you into one of them. We have no tolerance for disobedience here” his glare hardened towards me, “Rule two, no one and I mean **no one** will make any advances on you. Once you comply, you'll be willing. We ain't rapists here. Rule three, you're never to leave the house without permission. Rule four, no weapons for you until you can be trusted. Rule five, if you become a valued member of our _family_ , we'll find you a mate, a husband of sorts.”

I stood there listening to the self-righteous prick spout his ideology to me. The more rules he laid out, the more it sounded like a cult. _Note to self, don't drink the koolade._ I smiled inwardly at that dark thought. I was glad by one of the rules, at least gang rape was off the table. _Halle-fucking-lujah!_

 

“So, is there any questions?” he asked me as he stroked the woman's hair who still sat at his feet, the faintest of smiles on her face at the gesture. She had still yet to move. I was waiting for her to answer 'yes master' if he talked to her. She was blank.

“Well what if I don't want to be here and want to leave?” I said glaring.

He laughed. _Prick!_ “You were chosen. Don't you get that?” he questioned, like the answer was somehow obvious.

“I didn't want to be _chosen_! My family was threatened, held at gun point, and then thrown an ultimatum. So, excuse me if you think I'm buying into this bullshit. Women are not cattle you can just buy and sell at a whim!”

Kane narrowed his eyes at me and then looked to the man standing next to me, nodding once. The man pulled on the restraints, turning me to face him before he backhanded me across the face. It wasn't hard enough to make me bleed, but enough to feel the sharp sting across my cheek. I bought my hands up to my cheek, feeling it hot under the sting.

“So, beat me into submission? That's the goal here?” I sneer.

He stood, releasing his hold on the woman at his feet and stood only inches away from my face, glaring with intensity.

“If that is what will make you see it our way, yes” he said darkly. “Take her back to the basement! And make sure she's fucking chained up!” he barked at one of the men.

 

I was roughly dragged back down to the basement, I'd put up as much of a fight as I could muster but his grip on me was painful. The man chaining one of my ankles to a shackle that was bolted into the wall.

“You should learn to shut your mouth, otherwise he'll make good on that promise to beat you and if that doesn't work you'll become one of _them_ ” he whispered darkly before heading back upstairs. I heard the loud clang of the metal bolt sliding into place. My escape looking very bleak now. I pulled against my restraints over and over, it was useless for now. I had looked at the lock around my ankle and considered picking it, but I had nothing to do so, yet. I only gave up on the restraints around my wrists when I felt the slow trickle of blood running down my wrist. _Losing blood meant becoming weak, and becoming weak meant escape was minimal._

 

 

I tried to stay awake for as long as I could but finally sleep over came me and I curled up, the best I could on the couch, keeping my eyes facing the door for when they came back.

 

I was woken by someone nudging me. I groggily opened my eyes, light streaming past the cracks in the boards nailed against the window. I blinked a few times before I saw a man crouched in front of me. All of yesterday flooded back to me and instinctively I tried to move myself back away from the man. Only to be boxed tightly into the couch and couldn't move any further away.

“Breakfast time” he grunted, holding out a bowl and shaking a bottle of water.

As I focused my eyes I could see it was Chris, the hesitant looking younger guy I had seen yesterday. He must be the grunt of the group, getting all shitty jobs.

“You gotta eat” he said. “Now I was told I can't untie you, so if you want food and water I'm going to have to help” he said apologetically.

I was sceptical about eating or drinking anything that they will be giving me. I didn't know what surprises they may have hidden in it.

“It’s been like two days since ya last ate and with those drugs they gave you, ya need something” he said holding out the water bottle again, shaking it a little, the water sloshing in the bottle. I wanted to deny I didn't want it. But I was hungry and looking at the water made my mouth dry up just a little more.

“How do I know it’s not poisoned too?” I glare back at him.

He smiles. “I made it myself. I won't drug you like they did.” he tried to smile again, his voice filled with some truth from what I could read on him. He grabbed a spoonful of what looked to porridge and held it out to me. I clenched my lips shut. He sighed. “I'll show you its fine, I'll be the taste-tester” he said putting the spoon to his lips and swallowing the porridge. “See” he smiled, taking another spoon of the porridge and holding it out for me. I eyed him for a few more seconds before he waggled the spoon again. I hesitantly ate the porridge. I hated to say it but it tasted so damn good, I had to stop myself from moaning at how good it tasted. _Had I really not had good food in so long? Maybe it was more the fact that I hadn't eaten in a few days._

“It’s good, right?” he questioned me, pulling me from my thoughts. He continued feeding me the porridge, which I happily ate. It tasted too good to refuse. Not that I had told him that. I wasn't here to make friends.

 

“You've been pulling on the restraints” he frowned as we went to hand me the bottle of water. He went to reach out but froze as I flinched from his touch.

“Yeah well I didn't want to be fucking tied up” I said pulling again.

He grabbed my hands and stopped my movements. “Stop” he said, and it sounded more like a command this time. But what shocked me was that I listened. “Look I know you don't want to be here...If I could get you out...Just don't hurt yourself, ok?” he said a little flustered, scratching the back of his neck.

“You don't want to be here either?” I asked.

He flashed me a look that confirmed it before he replaced the hard look on his face. He stood abruptly. Taking the empty bowl but leaving the bottle. And then making a hasty retreat up the stairs. The heavy lock echoing in the room as he slid it in place.

 

I was a little dumbfounded. I think I had struck a cord with him. By the briefest of glimpses, he'd shown he didn't want to be here either. Maybe he was my ticket out of here. So maybe I did have to make friends, I sighed. _Just fucking great._

 

 

With being chained up, I had nothing else to keep me occupied other than sleeping or thinking of ways to escape. I tried not to think of my family too much as the tears always started, and once those started it was hard to stop them. I needed to be strong. But my thoughts always led back to them. To him. I wasn't sure if they were looking, if they would find me and rescue me or if I was going to rot in this basement. The thought of them rescuing me seemed like looking for a needle in a haystack. They had switched vehicles and then we drove from quite a while, but where and which direction I wasn't sure. It was dark when I had woken the second time and Luke had mentioned we had at least another hour to go, so we had to be driving for half the day and well into the night. _Shit we could be anywhere by now._

 

 

I tried to think back over everything I had seen since I had been kidnapped and my current surrounding, above and below ground. From what I had seen there were at least a dozen men, I had only seen one other woman, who seemed to be Kane's. But I was sure there were more here. They were hiding or doing chores I guessed.

 

 _Camp Nazi_ seemed to be situated in a large building. We had turned down several different hallways before we came to the main room. And off each hallway were several other doors. But it confused me as we walked each hallway. I would need to memorise the route so I knew how to escape or where I needed to avoid. But my mind wouldn't be up to that for at least another day I reckoned, the drugs still in my system was hindering my progress I would have liked to have made by now.

 

The plan was to simply massacre all these people, maybe I could befriend one and they could live? Oh, and then escape and find my way back to my family. Should be simple, right? The more I thought about it, the more impossible this all seemed.

 

 

I could hear them walking around upstairs, doing what I wasn't sure. But I was still stuck down here. I had no idea what the time was, it was still day-time that much I could gather but that was only by the sunlight peeking through the boards against the windows.

 

 

I heard the bolt being slid back from the door, it opening with a creak, as three people descended the stairs, Luke, the man who had backhanded me yesterday and Kane's pet. I eyed all three with suspicion. Luke just grinned at me and that scared me. There was a look in his eyes that almost looked like lust, I'd seen it on more than occasion now, the first was when he had pulled the walker off me in the van. And since then I've felt him watching me. _Fuck I wish Daryl was here to beat the shit out of him for looking at me like that._

 

“Kane's wanting to speak to you, but first you need to get cleaned up” Luke said, his eyes still looking me over. “Sara will help with that” he gestured to the woman. She looked up and forced a smile, he eyes seemed to be assessing me in a different way. I guessed as she was Kane's, she probably thought she was top bitch. Not that I had any desire to take her place, but I needed to know how much of a threat she was. Whether she could be swayed in my direction when I break free of Camp Nazi or if I would have to take her out too. By the way she looked at me now, I felt she was invested in Kane and wouldn't give up on him for anyone. _Stupid bitch._

 

Luke stepped forward, bending down to unlock my ankle. I heard the click of the lock and the weight coming off around my ankle. I had to hold back the urge to kick Luke in the face right now. With the two hawks standing several feet away I wouldn't get far and would surely cop a beating for it.

He grabbed the knife from his waist and was about to flick it through the bindings around my wrist when he stopped and grabbed both of my wrists and then looked back up at me scowling. He'd seen the dried blood.

“You've been hurtin' yourself darling” the scowl still on his face.

“Not on fucking purpose. Was trying to break free” sarcasm dripping from my voice, as well as a little truth.

He grinned back up at me. _Urgh, did he think I was flirting with him?_

“I'll get Sara to look at your wrists later then” he says, flicking the knife through the zip ties. I winced as they fell to the ground. Luke still held my wrists and I tried to pull them free.

“Stop tryin' to hurt yourself” he said lowly. I ignored his comment and pulled again on my wrist again, finally he let it go. He stood, the others moving ahead, walking up the stairs. Luke waited for me to stand, looking at me impatiently. I wasn't intentionally trying to piss him off, it just seems to be a natural gift.

“C'mon ain't got all day, same threat applies as it did in the woods, you can walk there or I can drag you, either way doesn't bother me” he threatened.

I glared at him, standing and followed Sara, who was waiting at the top of the stairs for us.

 

They led me down another series of corridors, turning a different way to where I had first gone. I was so lost. I kept rubbing at my wrists, which were quite sore. I needed to be more careful with the bindings next time.

Finally, we came to a stop, Sara walking into a bathroom.

 

“Now I could tell Sara to wait outside and I could help you get all clean” he smirked.

“No” I said firmly.

“Suit yourself darling, was only offerin' to scrub your back” he said casually, his eyes saying something different.

“Out you go Luke” Sara said pushing him out the door and closing it behind her. “I got you some clean clothes to wear after, we'll wash yours later after you have talked to Kane. You can go ahead and use the bath, the water will still be warm” she said gesturing to the bath. She picked up the book that was lying on the chair and took a seat, opening it to where the bookmark lay. This was her way of giving me privacy, as I wasn't yet trusted on my own. _Fair enough, I wouldn't trust me either._

 

I quickly undressed, not bothering to look back at Sara if she was watching. I stepped into the bath and the water was still delightfully warm. I sat down, sighing. I couldn't remember the last time I'd had a hot shower or bath. Had to have been the farm, and that felt like months ago. My mind instantly thinking of my family. Feeling the tears starting well up I pushed those thoughts aside and grabbed the soap and shampoo.

I scrubbed every part of my body, I'd forgotten how little of a tan I had. The Georgian dirt had somewhat given me a makeshift tan for the time being. The dirt that had been previously covering my body was now dirtying up the water. I washed my hair twice and it finally felt clean.

 

When the water started to cool, I'd decided I'd had enough. Catching pneumonia on top of this would not help my situation. I wrung all the water I could out of my hair before wrapping it in a towel and then wrapped another around my body. I looked over to Sara, who was still engrossed in her book, not looking up in my direction. I hastily put on the clean clothes, surprised at how well they fit and how great it felt to have something clean and brand new by the looks of it.

I start to dry my hair the best I can they sit on the floor and start to braid it. Before the end of the world I would have straightened it but now it was just easier to tie it up and out of my face.

 

I hear her step behind me, and takes the hair from my hands. “Let me” she says and it almost has a motherly tone to it. I release the hair as she starts to continue the braid in my hair.

“Why did you submit?” I ask bluntly.

She snorts. “Because I wanted to live honey. It’s not that bad. The guys seem bad at first but they protect us, feed us, they do right by us.”

“You say that, but are you an equal? Because honestly it doesn't look that way. It looks like _we_ are the lowest on the totem pole. Everyone else is above us.” I say and I'm glad I don't have to look at her right now. I'm afraid of the reaction this could cause.

“Well you're right to a degree. The men do see themselves more highly but once you have your partner, you're treated differently, more of an equal. Kane never strikes me, I give him council when he needs it, I happily cook for him, knowing he loves my cooking. I don't mind doing those things for him.” she said as she continued to braid my hair.

“So, if he demanded you suck his dick in front of everyone, you would happily comply?” I snort in disgust.

“Yes” she simply replies.

“No fucking way I would ever consent to that” I growl, “You don't think that's degrading to yourself or other women?” I ask sceptically.

“No I love him and he loves me” she answers.

 _Fucking disillusioned woman._ I knew then she couldn't be trusted she was too blinded by the koolade to see the real picture of what was really going on here.

 

We stayed silent for a few moments while she finished off braiding my hair. Once it was done she grabbed a tub and filled it with some water, she grabbed my dirty clothes placing them in the water.

“They can soak while you talk with Kane” she says.

A loud knock on the door both make us jump.

“Hurry the fuck up, ain't got all day” Luke grumbled from the other side of the door. Sara chuckled at his impatience. I said nothing, I was still thinking over what Sara had said before. And was shocked at how ignorant she was.

 

I had no idea what Kane wanted to talk to me about. It wasn't like we were best friends or anything and I'd practically spit in his face yesterday when he welcomed me into Camp Nazi. Whatever else he was after it made me feel just as uneasy. How is this my life now?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Damn poor Camille, seems she definitely up shit creek right now. How is she gonna get out of this? Will Daryl save her? And god damnit Luke keep your greasy paws to yourself!  
> I can always be bribed with reviews, as always!


	32. Sniper at the Gates

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well that was a bit dramatic last night for the mid-season break...  
> So finally got to finishing this chapter today and a little unsure about some of it, gets pretty dark towards the end.  
> Thanks of course to AtiliaDawnBlack and Debbief722 for comments. Love it, they make my day!  
> If anyone has questions or comments don't be afraid to leave a comment.  
> Enjoy!

Luke was leaning against the door, waiting for us. And when the door opened, he sighed, “Bout fucking time” he grumbled “C'mon ain't got all day” he said as his eyes slowly travelled up and down my body. “Well don't you clean up nice” he grinned. His gaze making me more uncomfortable.

“Leave the poor girl alone Luke” Sara said as she walked out ahead of me.

“What? Can't a guy give a girl a compliment?” he said.

“Leave her alone” Sara said a little more harshly.

I started to follow Sara and I heard Luke mumble behind me. “Fucking woman thinks she' my god damn mother.”

“I heard that” Sara called ahead of me.

I couldn't help the smile on my face. This almost seemed normal. Almost.

 

I was led through some familiar corridors, until we ended up in the big room with the throne. I saw Kane sitting as he looked over some papers, looking up as Sara, Luke and I entered the room. He smiled towards Sara as she continued walking towards him, taking her place at his side, on her knees. _Like the obedient pet she was._

 

What had shocked me though was one of the men standing off to the side of the room, a woman, who looked to be my age, on her knees in front of him obviously giving him head. His head thrown back in pleasure, his hands wound into her hair keeping her in place.

It was as though he had heard the conversation that had transpired with Sara and I in the bathroom, no more than fifteen minutes ago. I tore my eyes away, not from embarrassment but in disgust. The sounds obvious in the room, seeming to echo. _Another fucking recruit for his cause._

“That shouldn't shock you...from what I've heard from several of the men, you were in a similar position a few days ago” Kane smirked, seeing my reaction to witnessing the display.

“Doesn't mean I'll get on my knees for any of your men” I glared, ignoring the sounds from the other side of the room.

“I can't wait for when the time comes, _and it will_ , when you fucking submit” he says a little bitterly.

“I'd rather slit my throat” I say with venom.

He grins. “We can arrange that too” he says holding my glare. I feel my fists clench, my nails biting into my palm.

 

A loud groan breaks the silence and the glaring contest, at the other end of the room. I pay it no attention but I'm cringing on the inside. I can hear the sound of a zipper and the shuffle of a belt buckle. Out of the corner of my eye, I see the woman walk to the opposite side of the room, closing the door behind her. The man who I recognise as the one who had drugged me twice on the way back. Mark I think his name is. He saunters over, looking far too fucking pleased with himself, standing next to Luke. He leans forward, peering over at me, past Luke.

“Enjoy the show?”

 I see Luke smirking but keeping his eyes forward. I roll my eyes at both of them, more than unamused at the situation. I wasn't sure if they had done it intentionally or just to see how I would react.

“Thank you, Mark, you can go” Kane said dismissively to him. Mark nods and leaves the room, where the woman had previously disappeared to. I see Kane touch Sara, squeezing her shoulder, she looks up to him, nods and then stands. Also disappearing in the same direction as Mark and the woman had. I swallowed nervously, I was left alone with Kane and Luke. Two men I had **no** trust in. They may have had rules for their compound, but since they were top dogs, they could do as they pleased and that prospect scared me more. Especially now that I was left alone with the two. I felt like they were sharks, circling their prey, all they were waiting for was a drop of blood before the feeding frenzy began. My eyes flitted around the room, seeking out the exits. A habit I had picked up since the world had ended. _Always have a way out, the more the better._

 

“There's no escape” Luke whispered beside me amused. Kane grinning too.

I straightened myself up, ignoring Luke standing on my left. “So, you wanted to talk to me?” I sigh. I'm sick of the games they're both trying to play. I've seen enough bad movies and TV specials to know what's going on, what's going to happen to me when I don't comply with their demands. Even though my stubborn side doesn't want me to conform, I know eventually I'm going to have to play along if I want to live, the aftermath of everything I can deal with later. _I hope._

 

“Well I thought we would try to get to know you better...since you're staying with us for the time being, it wouldn't hurt to know a little bit about you” he questioned.

I wasn't exactly keen on giving up information about myself. Not that anything from my old life could be used against me. What I did for a job and who my friends were and what kind of car I drove has nothing to do with the life I live now. So maybe just give them useless information, nothing about my family, past or present. I didn't want them to use that as leverage in the future. I could see them being sadistic like that.

“Well why don't we start with an easy one. What's your name? I feel rude that we haven't even been properly introduced.”

I thought about it for a minute, deciding whether or not to give my real name. I saw no harm in giving it. It’s only a name and if I decided on something different, if I was called I would have to respond and I could see myself not responding pretty much all of the time and then everyone would be so confused as to why I never responded to Susan or Anna or Bob. _Bob would have been too smart-ass though._

“Camille” I said.

Kane smiled, pleased as he seemed to have figured my inner dilemma.

“And I figured by your accent you're not from here...I'm guessing Australia” he guessed.

I snorted. “Wrong. New Zealand.”

“Ah but I was close. So, you were on holiday here before all this began?” he asked.

“Sort of. Was on a road trip, was here...about a month or so before shit started to hit the fan. And then it was too late to go home...” I trailed off. It had been a while since I had thought about the first few weeks of the chaos.

“And your family?”

“I'm not talking about them” I glared back at Kane.

“Just trying to get to know you...How about the people you were camped with?” he said narrowing his eyes.

“Not talking about them either” I growled.

“Well we need to know how much of a threat they are? Surely they would have started looking for you” he questioned. His curiosity was starting to irk me. He had to know asking about either of my families was going to be a touchy subject but like the idiot he was he asked anyway.

“Not that they'll find you...” Luke whispered. Kane sent him a look and I saw Luke shrink under his gaze.

“What I meant to say was...What were they like? You obviously cared for them...one in particular I heard...He fought to save you” Kane said sounding genuinely interested.

“I'm not talking about them!” I said louder this time.

“Yeah your boyfriend fought hard...just not hard enough...” Luke baited.

I turned to face Luke and raised my hand to slap him, he caught my hand just before it made contact with his face. Gripping it hard enough to leave bruises.

“Stupid move” he sneered.

“Luke!” Kane yelled, “Enough” he said more forcibly. Luke let go of my hand with a bit of force, sending me back a few paces, then sneering in my direction.

“Raise your hand to me again and I'll fucking cut it off” he said in a menacing tone.

“Luke...” Kane warned.

“Sorry boss, she just seems to press my buttons” he grinned to Kane.

Kane laughed. “Maybe she's a perfect match for you” he smiled at me. I grimaced, which only made him smile more. “Ok maybe that's enough for now. There's going to be a dinner tonight in your honour, for joining us. Sara needs some help in the kitchen. Luke can show you the way” he said dismissing us both. Luke nodded and grabbed a hold of my arm.

“Move” he instructed angrily shoving me forward to where the other three has disappeared.

 

With him behind me pushing me when I wasn't going fast enough or turned the wrong way. _Well what did he expect I had no fucking clue where I was heading._ We finally reached our destination. Coming to a big wooden door. I could hear the sounds and smells of a kitchen.

 

Opening the door I was greeted by the wonderful smell of something cooking. What it was I wasn't sure but I felt a little like one of those cartoons, where I start floating towards the smell of the amazing food that is currently cooking. The smell drawing me in.

 

It was a large kitchen, this place had to be some sort of community hall or lodge or something, with the set-up this place has. Several large wood-fired ovens lined the back wall, gas burners on another wall. There were two large walk in refrigerators too but I guessed they didn't have much used for them other than storage. Several long benches in the middle for workstations. Sara looked up and smiled, and another girl looked over at me entering, I recognised her as being the girl on her knees before.

“I'll leave you ladies to it” Luke said from behind me. I heard the door closing as he left. I noticed Mark standing towards the back of the kitchen in an open door that lead outside. I could see the sunlight streaming through. He was having a smoke break by the looks of it.

 

Sara motioned for me to join them. “I trust you know how to chop vegetables right?” she asked pointing to a pile of carrots and potatoes on one of the workstations. _Great. At this rate I'll be a fully trained housewife in no time. Yippee. Fuck my life._

“Yeah no problem” I faked a smile.

“Good” she smiled, leading me to the table, where the other girl was. “This is, forgive me I don't even know your name. How rude of me” Sara said looking at me blankly.

“Camille” I replied.

She smiled warmly at me. “Camille, this is Molly.”

“Hi” she said timidly looking up from the vegetables she was peeling.

I smile back. “Hi” I reply a little timidly.

“Ok why don't you start on the vegetables there” she pointed to a chopping board with a knife beside it. I was half surprised they trusted me with a knife so early on. I started mindlessly chopping and peeling, placing them into a pot. My eyes were looking round the room, taking everything in, trying to memorise this place. And looking for my escape, the perfect opportunity. Mark still stood at the back door, his eyes fixed outside, he would occasionally look to the three of us then his eyes went back outside again. Sara and Molly chatted amongst themselves. I hoped they weren't trying to involve me in their conversation as I was paying them no attention. I hadn't heard my name yet, so it looked like I was in the clear for the moment.

 

I watched as Molly finished the task she was doing and turned to Sara. “I need to get the pig ready. Mark's going to come with. Shouldn't be too long” she said as she made her way towards the back door to Mark. He waved towards us before following after her.

 

 

Sara was quiet doing whatever she was on another station a few feet away. I kept at the vegetables, still surveying my surroundings.

 

“I'll just be a minute hun, I need to get another bag of flour from the store room to make the bread” Sara said as she walked down the hall. I looked to the back-door Mark and Molly had been gone for about five minutes, I knew they could return at any second and so could Sara. This could be my only chance. I glanced quickly at the back door, still no one.

 

This plan was either going to work and I would escape or it was totally going to backfire and I'd either die or get beaten for it. But with the prospect of staying here I would risk those last two options. _Fuckin' reckless woman, I can practically hear Daryl growl from inside my head._ And that just makes me smile.

 

I take the knife, just a small paring knife, it wasn't much but it was something. I inched my way towards the back door, listening to anyone that could be coming through the back door or if Sara was returning.

 

Standing at the doorway, I looked back once again to make sure she hadn't returned and then out the door, I could see Molly and Mark up past one of the buildings, it looked to be a barn. I couldn't see what they were doing but they seemed to engrossed in what they were doing, distracted for now anyway. Looking around the rest of the property, it was huge, there was a large vegetable patch ten feet away that had an abundant number of crops growing, a few trees scattered about the property, a large garage that housed half a dozen vehicles. Fences lined the property, beyond the fences it was the woods. I could see two other men standing next to a truck. And another man was in a watch tower by a large steel gate but that was a long, hard sprint away and scaling the fence wouldn't be an easy, not when there were so many eyes that could spot me. _Won't be heading that way. Guess I'll have to slip out the back._

I had no idea what the property looked like, this had been my first glance outside. I mean, shit I still had no idea where the hell we were. For all I knew we were in Canada. I doubted that we were in Canada but I knew we had driven well into the night. So, we weren't close to where they had kidnapped me. _Sorry traded me,_ I inwardly growled.

 

It was now or never. I inched myself along the edge of the building, keeping an eye on all the people I could see out in front of me. I had yet to be seen. I was now grateful that when they had given me the clean clothes, they hadn't picked out something more florescent.

I came to the corner of the building, my heart was racing, my eyes constantly flitting back and forth, and I was sure the adrenaline was pumping furiously through my system right now. And I needed every drop of it, if I wanted to get out of this in one piece. I took one look back to the front of the property, everyone was exactly in the same place as before. Peeking around the corner I surveyed the area, there were two large buildings set back at least a hundred feet. That was a huge gap to cover without getting seen. The barn building to my left would provide some cover for half of the run, but I was fully exposed on my right, it was open till the fence-line, which was quite a long way off. If I could make it to the gap between the two buildings, then I'd see where I could go from there. _Fucking starting to regret this plan of mine. Too late to turn back though._ I had no idea if they had patrols or watchtowers, well I was going to find out in the next minute or so.

 

Another glance back to the men around the front of the property told me they weren't aware of my escape yet. _Good._ Another look around the corner the coast was clear and without looking back I ran for the gap between the buildings, trying to keep my body as low as I could while running, the knife still in my hand. As I approached the two buildings I try ducking, trying to keep myself hidden while running past the windows, just in case someone was inside. Before I got to the gap between the buildings I did notice a watchtower had been erected near the fence-line out to the right of the main building, the guard was looking outwards towards the trees, even at this distance I could see they held a rifle.

 

I ducked between the buildings, panting, my nerves starting to show a little. The situation was about to get turned up a notch, any second now they were going to realise I had gone from the kitchen and the hound dogs would start circling and the alarms blare. _This isn't the time to let your nerves show girl, fucking suck it up. You gotta move now!_

 

After giving myself a pep talk I edged my way along one of the buildings, my back pressed hard against it. I gave a quick look behind me, making sure no one was sneaking up on me. I'm now at the end of the two buildings, ahead of me I could see a huge wide open field, in the far-left corner was another watchtower, a man, I assumed, looking out towards the woods over the fence. A row of cabins were set back a little from the barn structure, more housing and they looked to be recently built. _Before the fall surely. This group of pricks couldn't be that well organised._ There were a few trees scattered around the property, most them were clustered towards the fence-line. That's where I had to make it without getting seen. _No problem, right?_ The best option looked to near the corner away from both watchtowers, but once I was in the open there wasn't any cover. Once near the fence-line, I could use the trees for cover and then scale the fence. _I hope that damn thing isn't electric. Surely that would suck up too much power. Oh well I'll deal with that if it’s a problem at the time._

I took a deep breath, gave another look to the watchtower and then took off running. I veered slightly off to the right as that was where the most tree coverage was. _Run! Run! Run!_ I thought to myself.

 

“Mark! Mark! She's gone!” I heard Sara yell. That was the exact moment I knew I had to run like hell and don't go down without a fight.

“Shit! She's running!” I heard someone yell from much further back, I think it came from the watchtower by the main building. _Run!_

 

**Bang! Bang!**

 

Two shots fired in my direction, I wasn't sure if they were warning shots or they were genuinely trying to take me down. They didn't connect and that was the main thing. Although with all the adrenaline pumping through my body right now I might not have felt it. I pushed that thought aside, an injury like that would make me slow and weak on the outside of here. I couldn't afford to have any weaknesses.

 

“Stop shooting! We need her alive! Don't let her escape!” I heard Luke yell, and the fury in his voice scared me. I didn't want to be around to witness his anger after this. I knew I would get the full brunt of it. This situation felt so similar to when I tried to escape at the farm house. I needed to make sure I got away this time. I didn't want to think of how bad it would be if they caught me for a second time trying to escape them.

 

I could hear them gaining on me. I was running as hard and as fast as I could possibly go. I was just about at the fence-line. I could make it, just needed to push, just a little harder. It was in sight. I could do this.

 

I hardly had any time to slow as I came up on the fence, skidding slightly as I slammed up against the fence. _Thankfully it wasn't electrified._ The fence looked to be deer fencing, so it shouldn't be too hard to climb and then get up and over. I gripped tightly and pulled myself up, the knife still in my hand, moving as fast as I could without losing my footing. I had my hand on the top wire, when I felt myself being pulled back violently by more than one person I thought.

I hit the ground with such force it made me lose my breath. A foot stomped hard against my wrist, making me cry out, forcing me to let go of the knife I still had clutched in my hand. Hands grabbed both my arms, I tried to pull myself free, pulling painfully against my assailants. I wasn't about to give up, even if it was all over at this moment. There was a hard punch to my stomach and then one to my lower back, near the kidneys. Another blow to my stomach, only this time it was a boot. I was doubled over as much as I could, in pain. I was wrenched upright to see the group of men surrounding me. _Is this how I die?_

 

Luke stood in front of me, raging like a bull and seeing red, it was enough to make me cower in fear. Every one of the men panting like I was. It hadn't been a short run, at least the length of a football field. Luke paced trying to rein some of his anger in, I could feel it rolling off him in waves, which was only making me more nervous.

 

“Let go of her” Luke commanded, looking to each of the men either side of me, the look in his eye making the other men blanch. Their grips loosening till I was standing there, shaking a little in fear and shooting pain on my lower back and front.

“Sorr...” I tried to apologise, only he cut me off.

“Stupid fucking move bitch!” Luke growled, moving till he was standing only a foot away from me, he gave me a menacing grin right before his fist clocked me hard in the face. I had tried to move my hands up in defence but he was quicker than me, his fist connecting hard. My body falling hard to the ground and I was instantly met with darkness.

 

 

_“How'd she get out?” Kane growled angrily._

_“She was in the kitchen with Sara and Molly. Molly and Mark had gone to take care of the pig and Sara was...” one of the men was interrupted._

_“I had to get another bag of flour from the storeroom. I couldn't have been gone more than a minute” Sara tried to explain, only to be cut short._

**_Smack!_ **

_The sound of a hard slap echoed in the room, and Sara quietly whimpering._

_“Stupid bitch” Kane muttered, “You should'ave known better than to leave her on her own” he grunted angrily. He sounded like he was pacing out his fury._

_“I didn't think...” she was cut off again._

_“Yeah you didn't fucking think” he sneered._

_“Luke, you're going whip her into shape, if she hasn't fucking submitted in the next week, slit her throat I don't care. She either gets in line or we find her replacement” he bit out angrily._

_“You got it boss” Luke said, his voice sounding close._

_And then I felt my limp useless body being roughly manhandled before unconsciousness took over again._

****

 

My eyes and my head hurt. As I tried to move, I now registered the pain rolling through the rest of my body. I was stupid for trying. So fucking stupid. But I had to try, right? I forced my eyes open to see I was in the basement again. _No surprises there._ I tried to move my hand but I was met with resistance and the sound of metal clanging about. _Fuck._ As I looked up I could see I was chained to the wall, my arms above me, cuffed at the wrist. The rest of my body slumped against the wall on the ground, big metal shackles around each of my ankles. _Shit._

 

 

“That was real fucking stupid” his voice echoed in the darkness. I heard the footsteps approaching from the far side of the room. I pulled at my restraints, even though it was pointless, the sound of the metal clanging through-out the basement. He laughed cruelly at me.

I saw him finally come into view. Luke was towering over me, a sinister look on his face. He crouched down in front of me, glaring as he cracked his knuckles, making me swallow back some of my fear. “I should have killed you for that little stunt you pulled but Kane wants you alive.” he shook his angrily, obviously disagreeing with Kane's decision to keep me around. “He still thinks he can break you. So now it’s my fucking task to make sure I break you and prove to him and everyone else your fucking submission...There won't be a next time, next time I'll be slitting your throat ear to ear. Kane's given me that assurance, so think about that the next time you decide to abandon the cause.” he said darkly leaning in close, he bought a hand up to my cheek, making me wince and trying to pull away from his touch. He chuckled darkly, pressing his hand a little firmer, getting the same response from me.

“Sorry about that, hate to mark something as pretty as you” he smirked, “but ya had it coming...disobeying and all” he stood, looking once more in my direction before he went back upstairs. The bolt sliding home echoing off the walls.

 

The adrenaline had worn off now and I felt everything that hurt with every move I made. I wasn't sure how this left me, my _position_ here, the value of my life. I had genuine fear for my life now, not that I didn't before but the conversation I overheard between Kane and Luke had me freaked. Twice I'd tried to escape and both times I'd been dragged back. I wasn't sure if I would get out of this alive any more.

 

The exhaustion was starting to wear thin, I was finding it harder and harder to stay awake. I needed to stay awake. I knew someone would be coming down here soon, more than likely to beat some sense into me. And I felt that was literal.

 

 

I was woken suddenly by the basement lights turning on, blinding me for a few seconds. I could hear three people coming down the stairs. On instinct I pulled at the restraints, the metal clanging against the concrete wall, the shackles biting into my wrists. I was sure the wrist that got stomped on was sprained at the least, the shackles not doing it any good.

 

Luke was the first to appear from the stairs, followed by Sara holding a first aid kit, and then Chris holding a bowl and a bottle of water. They all stood in front of me, Luke and Sara glaring daggers at me, Chris stood there with his head down, not looking at me.

 

“You and I have some talking to do after these two are done” Luke bit out. I didn't like the sound of talking. Talking with him sounded more like physical punishment.

 

Sara lifted my chin, inspecting the bruise. “No damage” she said coldly. I was trying to avoid looking at her as much as I could and keeping my mouth shut. The look in her eyes was murderous right now. She lifted my shirt to inspect the bruises on my stomach and ribs. I winced as she prodded each of them, maybe a little too hard. But I think that was her intent. She was pissed because I had gotten her in trouble. _So much for Kane loving her and never laying a hand on her._ I thought inwardly.

Once she was done she grabbed my chin more forcibly until I was looking at her.

**Smack!**

She quickly raised her hand and slapped me hard across the face. My face stinging as I kept my face hidden, my eyes closed, holding back the tears that were threatening to spill over.

“That's for disobeying and getting me into shit. You're fucking lucky, you realise that? Stupid bitch” she bit out angrily.

“Sara, that's enough for now.” Luke said, command in his tone. I heard her step back, leaving the room and Chris stepped forward taking her place. He knelt beside me, he tried to smile at me, trying to let me know he wasn't there to hurt me. He quickly fed me and gave me some water, giving me one last look before he stood and exited the room.

 

I was now left alone with Luke. And I swear the temperature in the room dropped. He stood there just watching me. Then he started pacing, which only made me anxious. I didn't like where this was heading.

 

I flinched when he knelt next to me, fearing his next move.

“Why'd you try to leave?” he asked running his fingers over the bruise he had caused. When I tried to answer, he pressed on to my injured wrist, grasping it tightly. I cried out in pain.

“I asked you, why did you try to leave?” he grunted.

**Smack! Smack!**

Again, when I tried to answer he punched me twice in the ribs. The pain causing me to whimper.

“Why'd you leave?” he asks again, his questioning becoming more frantic.

**Smack!**

His fist once again connecting with my jaw when I went to answer. I could now taste the blood pooling in my mouth, which I spat to the ground to the side of me. I knew the game now. _Learn to keep your mouth shut._

 

“Why'd you try to leave?” he asks again, narrowing his eyes at me. I raise my head and just glare back, blinking back the tears, not saying a word. He waits. And then a smile tugs at the corners of his mouth.

“Finally...now we're getting somewhere.” his voice sounding almost proud.

 

 

I was nervous to how this would play out. This was uncharted territory now. I wasn't good at playing the victim. What I did know was I didn't have an alternative plan now. This was the plan, come hell or high water I was getting out. The how was unclear. And my submission, well that I would have to play along for, how far I wasn't sure. My mind was telling me to just submit, as was my body. My heart was telling me different.

I needed to play this smarter. I needed to be more cunning and learn from the mistakes I had already made, as I couldn't afford anymore. I needed to play the part. This was going to fuck with me emotionally, almost damn near break me and probably would have some lasting damage, that much was clear. But in order to survive sometimes you need to become the shark. For now, I would wait for the blood to drip slowly and when the time was right, the sea surrounding me would be red.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok so I know it got pretty dark towards the end. And I think that has a little to do with the mid-season break. And I feel a bit bad causing Camille all this hurt in this chapter. Almost wish she could hug Daryl right now. Poor Daryl.


	33. Cult of Personality

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So tried to get this written as fast as I could...And having no episode of TWD this week motivated me a little more. I'm not even going to think about how long it is till the next episode. As always I love everyone who reviewed, people leaving their niceness make me want to get the next chapter up faster.  
> Debbief722 you've always been a big supporter on here so cheers as always! :D  
> And vikkixoxox....honored truly! Thanks again for the niceness  
> Anyway...so this chapter is nowhere near as dark as the last. Yay! Don't think I could write another chapter like that and didn't want to put any of you through that again lol. I listened to one song on repeat for... I'm not sure how long "Make it Rain by Ed Sheeran" Its really beautiful. Also love the title this chapter...another good song ;)  
> Ok I've rambled enough...on with the chapter...Enjoy!

It’s been nine days. **Nine**. Nine long fucking days in this place, since they took me. The majority of my time had been spent in the basement. _I probably had grown more anaemic,_ I thought to myself. I'd hardly been out of the basement except to use the bathroom and have a shower. Or if Kane summoned me, which hadn't been too often. He had left the talking up to Luke mostly. Those were my only exceptions. And I had an escort the entire time, Kane's pet. She had glared nothing but daggers at me. It seems I pissed her off and she was on the outs with Kane. I noticed he had been less handsy with her. _Which I can't say didn't make me feel smug. Glad someone else gets to enjoy the misery too!_ And I was to blame apparently. _Sure, it was me who tried to escape and she was meant to be watching me at the time. But it wasn't all my fault. Take some fucking responsibility!_ She still knelt at his side most of the time but you could see the tension between them. _Again I was feeling smug as a motherfucker!_

 

I had directed all my anger inwards about the situation, which can't be good. But I knew if I let it out I would end up either back in the chains or dead. My last escape attempt had gone horribly wrong and I had suffered through three and half days of beatings and abuse. The goal was to break me and make me submit to their idiotic ideology. _Maybe if they had come out with power-point presentation or a free holiday, maybe I would have been more convinced. As opposed to kidnapping, sorry trade._

 

Chris bought me most of my meals, which I was thankful for. He seemed to have warmed up to me, only ever so slightly though. He was cautious when he spoke now. I knew I could see something there though, I just needed to break past his wall he had up. I'm sure he was only being cautious because of Kane and possibly the other men. If he upset the balance or the mission, they wouldn't hesitate to kill him. And I needed him alive.

 

Luke had been on me like a pit-bull and I had cried every day and multiple times during those three days. I let all my fear show because that was what he wanted. I swear he got off on more often than not. But I knew if I stayed my stubborn stoic self I would still be chained up and then dead. I had cried and pleaded and said sorry, _I wasn't sure how many times._ Now I say he did the talking, well he did, but most of the time there wasn't talking, it was him inflicting his cruel form of punishment onto me. He'd had me writhing in pain for pretty much the entire three days. I'd only had small amounts of rest, because either my body was so exhausted or I had been woken violently to him hitting, kicking or slapping me. He'd made sure to keep all his blows to where I was covered with clothing, except for the one bruise on my jaw he given when he first locked me up. He'd say ' _don't wanna hurt that pretty little face of yours’ right_ before he inflicted pain somewhere else on my body. He only hit my face that one time. I was sure underneath my clothes I was ten shades of black and blue. I tried not to look when I had washed, just washing as quick as I could and wincing every time I moved or touched a fresh bruise. I knew the state my body was in, I didn't need to see it. I could feel it and that was more than enough.

 

I was breaking. Falling further into the rabbit hole. I kept thinking of my family. Trying to hold onto the hope. But the longer I stayed in the basement I felt my resolve slipping.

 

 

**_Smack!_ **

_A fist collided with my ribs, making the chains clang under the struggling of my limbs and trying to double over, to force myself into a fetal position. But the shackles restricted me._

_“Time to wake up” Luke cooed._

_I groaned feeling the pain start to radiate around my body, from both the punch and my moving around. The rest of my injuries waking up too._

_“I'm awake” I groaned, not lifting my head._

**_Smack!_ **

_His boot collided with my thigh. I flinched with the pain, trying to shrink away. I knew my mistake. Waking up, half dazed I wasn't thinking, I should have kept my mouth shut._

**_Smack! Smack!_ **

_Flinching away from his blows had earned two more hits to the ribs, that was my second mistake for the day. I cried in pain, feeling my breathing struggle. I couldn't be sure but I had a feeling he had cracked one of my ribs. It wouldn't have surprised me at this point._

_I heard the shuffle of his boots against the concrete floor and I cowered, the fear real this time, sometimes I didn't have to act. I heard him snicker above me._

_“Honestly sweetheart I'm a little disappointed, knew you were a fighter, saw ya teaching the kid...thought I would take a lot longer to break ya...” he said before he left up the stairs._

_I sat there now clenching my fists. I was screaming on the inside, telling him exactly where he could shove that boot. I was so angry. I wanted to yell. I wanted to fight back but I had to keep my cool. Play the fucking part. But here I was, being beaten into submission._

 

 

And that was how I would be woken for the previous three days. I had come to expect it now. I kept thinking over the conversation I had heard when I was slipping in and out of consciousness between Kane and Luke. I knew there was a possible expiry date on my life if I didn't smarten up. So, after the first beating I realised the game. My mind seemed to kick into gear most of the time. Sleepiness was my only downfall, I was usually caught off guard then, speaking when I should have been quiet.

 

 

I heard the bolt slide back from the door and swallowed nervously. I hated that sound every time. Every time that door opened I was afraid it would be my last day, that my time was up, that I'd finally pushed them too far.

 

Luke appeared at the top of the stairs, all smiles. _Shit this can't be good. When he smiled, it was usually worse._

“Why do you look so worried?” he teased.

“Really? You're asking me that?” I glare, as he continued to descend the stairs.

“Oh, now c'mon darlin' what do you have to be scared of me for? I've been nothing but nice to you...” his hand over his heart, like I wounded him. _Nice? Are you fucking kidding me?!?_

“Have you suffered a blow to the head?” I spat out sarcastically before I could stop myself, “Forgotten your kidnapping of me? And then beating me after I tried to escape? And then the last three days?” Sometimes I found it hard to keep my mouth shut, I always scolded myself later for it. I'm sure it wouldn't be different later. _So much for trying to play the part._

“I told you it wasn't a kidnapping. It was a trade. And you already knew that if you disobeyed there would be consequences” he tried to reason. “And you know the consequences of talking back...” he said raising an eyebrow. I ducked my head, keeping my mouth shut. I wasn't sure how much more my body could take. _Or my mind._

He crouched down in front of me, his hands hanging loosely off his knees. He looked at me expectantly. He sighed. “I don't want to hurt you” he said sounding almost sad.

Curiosity got the better of me, his tone had caught me, I looked up, raising my head a little. “But you do anyway” I said no emotion in my voice.

He sighed heavily again. “Because I couldn't kill a pretty thing like you. Need ya here.”

I just looked blankly at him. I was waiting for ' _with me'_ as he finished that sentence. I'm not sure I could have kept a straight face if he's said that. This man was beyond delusional if he thought I would fall madly in love with him after the shit he's put me through since I met this prick.

I needed to get him out of this room. The way he was looking at me, it was either going to end one of two ways, so I needed to remove myself from the situation. I knew how to get his attention.

“I need to talk to Kane” I said holding his gaze, hoping that what he saw, conveyed that I was ready.

 

He stared at me searching my face for any doubt. I kept my features the same. He stayed in the same position, watching me. I didn't move, didn't look away. I needed him to see he _had won._

_Yeah beating me into submission worked. Only to the point where I knew I needed to move this plan along. Not that he needed to know any of that. He'd find out soon enough._

“Okay” was all he said before he leant forward, taking the keys from his pocket and unlocking the shackles around my ankles. I winced when he removed the first one. He had really done a number on me. He even looked a little guilty, now that he was getting what he wanted, now trying to avoid looking at me as he unlocked my other ankle. I made sure to cry out a little louder, just to see the guilty expression back on his face. _Bastard deserves more than a guilty look._

Next, he unlocked the cuffs around my wrists, I didn't have to fake the pained cries this time. With my arms being suspended most of the time, I had little feeling in them, my shoulders felt locked into place after being in the same position for all those days and the state of my wrists, there was dried blood running down both my arms and they were raw. They were going to be weak for a while. I knew I shouldn't have struggled as much as I did, but I was stubborn as always. I had unintentionally set myself back with this plan.

 

“You're gonna have to sit there for a bit, get some feeling back into your limbs, otherwise you'll keel over before we even get to the stairs and I'm not carrying you, you can fucking walk” he said, the bitterness trying to creep back in. _There we go, there's the sadistic prick I know. Knew he couldn't keep up the caring act for long._ He lowered both my arms onto my lap and I could now survey the damage. They really looked bad. Luke stood and sat himself on the couch, leaning heavily into it. It seemed his punishment towards me had him a little sleep deprived also. He wasn't closing his eyes, he wasn't that stupid but he was resting.

 

I sat there slumped against the wall, trying to will the blood to flow around my limbs. I hated feeling this weak. I wiggled my toes inside my boots and kept making fists, willing the feeling back, getting the blood flowing back into my limbs.

 

 

It was nearly half an hour before Luke came back over to check on me. I seemed to have feeling back mostly everywhere, which seemed to tell my brain how much pain I really was in. Luke offered me a hand to get up, which I accepted, I knew I wasn't strong enough to pull myself up. I saw him smirk when I took his hand, no questions, no remarks, no dirty looks. In my mind I was swearing up a storm. I wasn't doing it for his benefit.

He led me up the stairs, having to hold on to me as I was still a bit unsteady going up the stairs. Once at the top, he led with me following behind him as we walked the corridors to where Kane was waiting. He kept looking over his shoulder to make sure I was still there and keeping up. I think he half expected me to bolt. _And he wasn't totally wrong there, each step I took I was devising a hundred different scenarios where I escape. But I knew I was too weak, I wouldn't get further than ten feet before he caught me. So I followed. Like a lamb to the slaughter, I thought dryly._

 

 

I stood in front of Kane, Luke now standing beside me, gripping my arm, far too tightly, holding me in place, showing his dominance over me I imagined. I kept my head down, trying to look as defeated as my body felt. There were a few moments of silence before Kane spoke up.

“So are you ready to accept your life here?” Kane asked curiously.

“Do I have much of a choice?” I huffed looking up slowly.

“Yes, you do. It’s up to you whether you're going to follow our rules or its worst-case scenario. And I'm sure I don't have to spell that out for you” Kane glared. I felt Luke tighten his grip ever so slightly.

He was serious. Deadly serious. I knew I would need to conform to their rules, well I would have to act my ass off to fit in. I needed to be more smart about this. I needed to make them believe.

I swallowed nervously. _This was it, make them believe it._ I lifted my head up slowly and looked to Kane, “Yes...I'll accept this as my new life” I said trying to sound as hopeless as I could. I made sure to then cast my eyes downward, knowing he would take this also as a sign of submission.

He chuckled lowly. “I'm glad to hear it. I'm glad you finally have been enlightened to our cause” Kane said stepping forward till he was in front of me, he smiled at me and reached out for my hand. I let him take it, wincing slightly as it was still very tender. His finger traced over the bruises and cuts over my wrist, like he was memorised by them. I wanted to pull my hand away but I knew I couldn't, that would be backing out of this plan.

 

“I have a few questions first” Kane said releasing my hand. I looked to him nervously. I wasn't sure what he was going to ask.

“Your family?” Kane questioned.

“I'm not talking about them” I said softly.

“I'm asking” he said firmly.

I held off for a minute, slowly considering my answer. “They'll be looking for me” I sighed, “but I'm guessing we're a long way off where they would consider looking. So yes, they will look for me. Wouldn't you look for your one of your own?” I said, no sarcasm, just honesty. _Probably the most honest I'd been since I'd been here._

Kane seemed pleased with my answer and pressed no further on the subject which I was glad for. I didn't want to give up anything on them, no matter how pissed off it made Kane. I wouldn't give up my family to this prick, or anyone for that matter.

“Well you are right, I doubt they would search this far north for you” Kane said. _Well that was something he didn't intend to slip out. A direction, that's something. File that away for later..._

 

“I'm pleased you made the right decision, but you do know that comes with _responsibilities_. Now I realise you have just made your decision, so there doesn't need to be any talk about finding you a mate just yet. And it’s not like you have had much of a chance to get to know anyone” Kane said.

I felt the grip on my arm tighten by the smallest amount of pressure, making me wince slightly. Kane noticed, his eyes flicking to Luke and I felt the pressure release again. I was silently grateful on the inside.

“I'm curious to know, what changed your mind?” he asked.

 _Fuck. I felt like a deer in headlights. Why the hell hadn't I thought of any answers. I had to have known they would ask questions._ Only a few seconds had passed and luckily my face had stayed the stone mask I had come to assume lately. “I think...I...Luke convinced me” I settled on. I felt Luke's eyes on me, Kane looked to Luke then back at me, a little surprised.

“Well brother, seems you did a good job” Kane said stepping forward and clapping Luke on the shoulder. I felt Luke release my arm.

“Thanks” I heard Luke mutter. I still stood, while I internally rolled my eyes at the bromance situation.

“Luke will take you to get cleaned up then show you to your new accommodation. We can talk more later” he said dismissing us both. Luke lead the way back to the bathroom. I followed behind, this time he didn't look back over his shoulder to check I was still there.

“I got Molly waiting for you in the bathroom, figured you would want to avoid Sara for the moment” he said smirking.

“Yeah thanks” I said a little confused.

He opened the door and Molly was grabbing some things from a bag and laying them out on the counter, she smiled warmly when Luke opened the door and saw me standing there.

“Molly can tell me when you're done” Luke said before he left, leaving me standing in the doorway.

I stood there in a small state of confusion. His whole demeanour towards me had changed, he went from being a sadistic asshole, _which I'm sure he's still lurking around,_ to someone who's actually tolerable. But I wasn't about to be fooled.

 

 

“Luke certainly seems to be in a better mood” Molly said pulling me from my thoughts, ushering me inside and closing the door behind her.

“Ah...yeah. I think he's just happy that I decided to join your group. Accept my new life” I said, still feeling the confusion.

“Oh, that's wonderful news!” she smiled, rushing forward and hugging me. I winced as she her hugging hit several of my bruises. She quickly stood back, “Sorry, I forgot” she apologised.

“It’s ok” I said trying to force a smile. _It wasn't ok, but I don't think she meant anything by it._

“No I should have remembered. I know what he was capable of. I went through it myself” she said in a sombre tone.

“He really seems to get off on it, doesn't he?” I replied without really thinking.

She chuckled. “Yeah, he does have an affinity for it. I'm just glad Mark is nothing like that. Now I got your clothes, they're all clean and the bath is drawn, so better get in before the water turns to ice” she smiled. “I'll take a look at your wrists after.” she took a seat and picked up book that was lying on the counter. I didn't expect they would have left me on my own. Guess I still have some tests to pass to prove my loyalty. I never thought my skills at hustling poker would come into play after the world had ended. Thankfully I was able to pull the blank expression out whenever I needed it. This was no exception. Molly may act all sweet now but if I was to upset the balance here she would turn in an instant, _like a feral walker beyond the safety of the fences_. That much was clear by the way she talked about Mark just then. She was completely brain-washed. I don't think even I could convince her of how ludicrous Kane sounds.

 

Molly was buried in her book when I looked over my shoulder before undressing. This was the first bath in four days now. Those privileges were taken away from me, I was surprised they just didn't make me pee in a bucket in the corner, I was glad they didn't, that would have been more humiliating.

The water was warm, like she said, soap and shampoo laid out.

 

I washed and scrubbed as gently as I could, looking down at my body it was not a pretty sight to see. I grimaced at every mark and bruise on my body. I was right I was ten shades of black and blue. Seeing it in the light only showed how bad it really was. _Bastard was going to pay for marking me up the way he did._

“What made you decide to...stay?” I ask, the last word tripping me up momentarily.

Molly looked up, surprised. She closed her book and sighed. “I was much like you to begin with. I didn't see this place the way Kane envisioned. I fought and caused trouble, not quite as much as you” she chuckled, “I received much the same treatment as you did but I caved after the first day. It took me a few more days to see this place for what it was and then it just all fell into place. Mark was a few weeks later.” she smiled at the memory.

 

I still couldn't wrap my mind around this place, let alone understanding it. I could see the true colours of this place. _Why was everyone else so blind?_ It scared me to think of how else I was going to be convinced. Being beaten into submission is a pretty severe way to convince someone, so if that method doesn't work what the next plan? Fuck, I had to act my ass off because I sure as hell didn't want to find out. The image of Molly on her knees in front of Mark flashed across my mind. There was no way in hell I would be taking this plan that far. I'm not that good of an actress. Or porn star for that matter. I shuddered.

 

“How do I find the _right_ man? Surely it won't be all my decision...” I asked, uncertainty in my voice.

“It'll be mostly up to you. Kane will have the final say.” she said firmly, something else behind her voice that I couldn't put my finger on. _Did she pick someone else and Kane didn't approve?_

“Luke seems to have his sights on you” she said looking back at her book. I shuddered. That worried me. I wanted to stay far from his sights. I wasn't about to become Molly or Sara.

 

 

Once I was dressed Molly examined my wrists, I flinched at the contact, my wrists still very sore and tender. She carefully applied antiseptic cream to the cuts and then bound my wrists, bracing them. I would need to take it easy on them in the next week. I wouldn't be able to escape being at half strength.

 

I looked in the mirror at my face. The bruise on my jaw was starting to yellow. I looked a little haggard and worn out. Black circles under my eyes, even my face seemed a little thinner, it was barely noticeable but to me it was plainly obvious. I guessed that had to do with the treatment I had received over the last few days and not having eaten much either.

Molly helped me with my hair, tying it up and out of my face. As I started to clean up after myself, Molly excused herself to go find Luke. I could feel the dread building in my stomach. This was how this would all start. I wouldn't think of what I would need to do to escape, not yet. I'd have plenty of time to figure out a good strategy.

 

 

Molly came back, Luke coming in after her. She took my dirty clothes from me. “I'll wash them and return them to you later. Take the cream and those clean bandages, you'll probably need to change them later” she said before excusing herself and leaving me standing there with Luke.

 

“All clean I see” Luke said, making me look up. “And see she has bandaged your wrists” he said reaching for them, I flinched backwards. “No need to be frightened of me girl.”

“I might believe you if I weren't covered in bruises” I said narrowing my gaze.

He winced ever so slightly at my words. “I was doing what I needed to. For my _family_ ” his voice filled with steel again. “I'll show you to your new accommodations. Tonight, you can rest. Tomorrow you can help Sara and Molly for a bit. Kane will also want to speak to you again” Luke said as he started to walk out of the room. I gathered the cream and bandages and followed blindly after Luke. We started in the direction of the basement and then bypassed it completely which gave me some relief. _At least I wasn't going back down there. He seemed to be relenting on his torture, for now at least._

 

“I can't say I'm completely convinced you've accepted your new life yet” Luke said looking back over his shoulder at me.

 _Poker-face._ “And?” I say swallowing nervously.

“And...” he turned to face me, halting in his tracks, “What are you going to do to convince me?” he said advancing on me.

I took a step backwards, making him smirk at me. “I'm not...I'm not going to be intimidated by you” my voice cracking slightly. He smirked, advancing another step till I was backed up against the wall.

“You should think on it, convincing me...and Kane” adding Kane as an after thought, “It should be on the top of your to do list...I can certainly suggest a few things that would _convince_ me” he said leaning in closer, his breath hitting my cheek.

I froze, completely taken off guard by his _suggestion_. He pulled back abruptly, the smirk ever present on his face. He was enjoying seeing me rattled.

“C'mon your room is up ahead” he said calling over his shoulder as he started walking down the corridor again.

I clenched my jaw, angry at myself for letting him intimidate me like that.

 

Luke stopped at a door, taking the keys from his pocket and then rifling through the numerous keys on the chain till he found the right one. He unlocked the door, opening it and then gestured for me to go inside.

I stepped through the door and looked around the small space. It was no grand bedroom that was for sure. It was bland, no more appealing than a prison cell. _Well in a way I guess this what it was._ Iron bars were welded to the outside of the window. _To prevent escape. And entry. I guessed as an after thought._ A single bed, a small bedside table with a lantern, two bottles of water and comfortable looking armchair in the corner.

“It's not much...but it'll do” Luke mused from behind me.

“Thanks” I said my eyes still staring out the window. _Oh, how I missed the sunshine._

I heard Luke shuffle a bit behind me, “Someone will be by later with some dinner” he said before making his exit. I didn't bother turning to watch him leave.

 

Luke closed the door behind him and I waited to hear the click of the lock. I waited and waited but I never heard it. _Surely...wait they didn't lock it. Why wouldn't they lock it? This must be some kind of test._ I walked over to the door, reaching out for the door handle, I hesitated, my hand hovering over the door handle. Something didn't feel right. I pulled my hand away and back up till my knees hit the bed. I sat down, my eyes still fixed on the door.

 

 _God I was in so over my head._ I thought to myself. I needed to think of a solid plan one that doesn't end in my capture or my death. The one thing I was certain was, I was going to have to kill to get out of here alive. Kane would not be willing to just let me leave, that's more than clear. I wish there was a way to escape with consequences or retaliation but those plans just don't seem to exist in this world any more. You either hunt or become the hunted. _Or dinner._

 

I couldn't help but think what Daryl would think that I submitted to these pricks. Would he be disappointed in me? Would he yell? _Yes, he most definitely would yell. God what I would give to hear him yell at me right now._ I swear I pissed him off more often than not. I was putting myself through the ringer right now, emotionally I was spent, physically, well it was safe to say I was spent there too. It was going to take a week or two before my body felt strong enough for anything. And that just pissed me off more, I wanted to escape this place so badly. But I knew I couldn't jump the gun this time. I was meant to playing this smart. Not flying by the seat of my pants, that had been my mistake the last two times.

 

 

After staring at the door for I don't know how long I walked over to the window, looking past the metal bars, keeping me prisoner. It was cloudy out, the sun hardly shining behind the clouds, it looked cold, the wind whipping by. But I still wanted to be out there. I wanted some sense of freedom. Unfortunately this place doesn't offer that kind of service. I narrowed my eyes focusing on the fence. I could only see one walker pressed up against it. It suddenly fell to the ground, away from the fence. I scanned the fence-line to see a watchtower, a man lowering his rifle. _Well that's an obstacle I'm going to have to figure out how to get around. How do get out without any of the watchtowers seeing me? Or could I take them out? A silent assassin maybe?_ I chuckled to myself, I was no assassin.

 

A knock at my door startled me making me turn back to face the door. The door opened and I was surprised and relieved to see Chris standing there with a covered plate, which he offered to me. I sat on the bed, while he took a seat in the armchair, fiddling with his watch on his wrist.

 

 

“So where were you when the world went to shit?” I asked placing the cutlery back on the empty plate.

He looked up surprised. I think he wasn't expecting me to talk. He eyed me for a second before speaking. “Was home. Back in Kentucky. Tried to barricade myself in my apartment for about two weeks before I started running out of food. Once I got out of the town I just kept going. Had no plan. Then Kane and his men found me, half-starved trying to fight of a bunch of walkers. They saved me and took me with them.” he said as he wrung his hands.

“So, you agree with Kane and his cause? To take woman...” I ask.

“What I agree with doesn't matter...How 'bout you? Where were you when it all started?” he asked, avoiding the question.

I was silent for a minute, I considered pressing him further on the subject but this early on I doubted he would tell me. _Not yet anyway._ “Road-trip. Was in Tennessee when it started to get bad. Stuck around a day or two before I packed what I could and left. Was on my own for a while. Now I'm _here_ ” I said a little bitterly.

I heard Chris chuckle quietly. I raised an eyebrow at him, he just shook his head at me. “It ain't that bad here once you get used to it” he said softly.

I snorted. “Yeah I might be inclined to believe you if I weren't covered in bruises...” I said shaking my head.

“Just try stay on his good side, easiest way to live with him” Chris offered his advice.

“I'm afraid of his good side too...I don't like the way he looks at me”

“He won't try anything. He knows Kane would kill him if he did” Chris scoffed.

“I don't think he cares what Kane thinks...he's made a pass at me more than once. Shit, he did just before he showed me to my room, practically propositioned me in the corridor. He certainly wasn't thinking about Kane then” I shook my head angrily, remembering him advancing on me in the corridor.

“Well I can try keep an eye on ya, just in case he tries something?” Chris offered.

I narrowed my eyes at him, gauging whether he was baiting me or actually genuine. He just kept looking back at me. “Why would you do that for me? You hardly know me?”

“Because someone needs to put Luke in his place” he said simply. I was a little shocked. _Maybe he saw through his façade too?_

 

We sat in silence for a while before Chris stood to leave. He grabbed the empty plate and cutlery and paused. “I have to go on a run tomorrow into town. Is there anything you need? A book maybe?” he said looking around at the bare room.

I smiled. “Yeah that would be good. Nothing girly though please” the smile spreading. He nodded smiling back. “Oh, thanks for dinner too” I said as he turned the handle on the door.

He looked back over his shoulder and smiled, “No problem” he said before exiting, closing the door behind him. Again, I heard no lock. I wasn't about to test my theory yet, I had a feeling someone was waiting on the other side or just down the hall, waiting for me to open the door and try to escape. _Itching to throw me back in the basement._

 

After eating the dinner Chris had bought me, I lay down on the bed. Stuffed from eating, tired because my body was exhausted and then contemplating whether Chris could be a good ally. _Could he help me escape?_ He sounded grateful yes, that Kane and his men had saved him. But he didn't seem all to convinced about the _cause._ I was going to have to get him talking more before I decided to let him in on my plan. For all I knew he was acting as a spy gathering information from me, seeing if I really was committed. But I didn't get that vibe from him.

Finally, my mind started to drift off, letting me fall asleep on a comfortable bed, something I had sorely missed over the last week or so.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok so I kicked myself when I started making Luke a little more human but I think I bought him back successfully as the prick he is lol. Even writing him makes me angry lol This is how involved I am in my writing... *shaking my head* A good friend helped me rein it back in.  
> As always love to hear what you think...


	34. No Rest for the Wicked

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry everyone for the long delay, Christmas and work were just a bit mental. But finally got around to getting this chapter finished. Its a long one, so just a warning. But good news is the long awaited reunion is literally JUST around the corner I promise! I'm really missing writing Daryl and the gang and can't wait for you all to read it. Promise you won't have to wait as long for the next chapter!  
> So here's the chapter...a belated Christmas present! Thanks to all who have stuck with me for this long, love ya all! Two people have been amazing the last month with lots of words of encouragement, you know who both are! Love all my reviewers as usual!  
> Ok, I've rambled enough...ENJOY!

**_Thump! Thump! Thump!_ **

_The loud thumping was starting to get annoying. Why was a being woken up like this? Couldn't someone just knock fucking politely? Or better yet, let me fucking sleep. I thought through the haze. I opened my eyes it was barely morning, the chill still in the air._

**_Thunk!_ **

_I blinked my eyes, sitting upright in the bed. The bed was still messy the blankets pulled back beside me. Who was sleeping beside me? I was sure I went to bed alone. I looked around the room, it looked familiar but strangely different at the same time. It seemed to have hints of rooms I'd slept in over the last few months, more so over the last month. My bow in the corner of the room._

**_Thump! Thump!_ **

_I looked over to the door, expecting the banging to start up again._

_Groaning and scratching against glass made me turn around quickly towards the windows. I tentatively crawled towards the window. I knew what was on the other side of the curtain but I still reached out for it. Pulling back the curtain, I backed away, in fear I think. On the other side of the glass were several warped faces of biters staring and growling back at me. I jumped back in surprise. It really shouldn't have been a surprise but it shocked me all the same. The moaning and pushing against the glass became more insistent now that they saw a meal so close._

**_Bang! Bang! Bang!_ **

_Gunshots echoed from several different directions, some were inside, some were just outside my window._

_“Camille!” I heard Daryl yell. Daryl was here? “Camille, get outta there!” he yelled again, from somewhere inside, he sounded close but I wasn't sure what direction it seemed to echo all around me. The gunshots continued in every direction, as did the groaning and pounding against the window. I needed to get out and back to Daryl. I scrambled out of bed rushing over to the door. With my hand on the door handle I froze._

**_Thump! Thump!_ **

_I pulled my hand away from the handle, what ever was on the other side didn't sound friendly. I backed away slowly, the banging against the door getting more urgent._

_“Camille!” Daryl yelled again, he sounded closer this time._

_“Daryl!” I yelled back. The sound of glass breaking behind made me whip around, the biters has forced themselves hard enough against the glass that it was now breaking. I was starting to panic. “Daryl!” I yelled again. More gunshots rang through the air, everywhere around me. I hadn't heard any replies from Daryl. One walker managed to push its way through the shattered glass and was crawling towards me. I was frozen in place, I wanted to run, even if it meant fighting my way through whatever was waiting for me on the other side of the door but my body wouldn't budge. The walker inched ever closer, reaching its hand out for my foot..._

I woke sweating, the only sound in the room was my panting. It was just a nightmare. I wiped the tears staining my cheeks. I looked to the window, still covered by the curtain. No banging or insistent moaning on the outside or at my door. I realised it was just a nightmare but that didn't give me any comfort. Everything was still fresh in my mind.

 

I was startled again when the door flew open, out of habit I reached under my pillow for a knife I knew wasn't there, cursing at myself when I realised I wasn't where I thought I was. _Stuck at Camp Nazi._ Chris appeared at the door, a worried look on his face.

“You ok? Heard ya yell?” he asked coming into the room. _I hadn't realised that I had yelled out loud. Seems I have a bad habit of doing that._

“Nightmare” was all I said and watching him curiously. “How'd you hear me yell? Were you assigned to watch my door? Make sure I stay put?” I ask accusingly, pulling the sheet up further.

He smiles, shaking his head. “Nah my room is across from yours” he pointed out across the hallway, “Think Jack is meant to be watching but I can hear him snoring now” he paused, and then I heard it too, a light snore coming from down the hall, making me smile momentarily. Chris moved closer taking a seat at the end of the bed. “So, what was it about?” he asked, looking at me expectantly when I didn't say anything.

“Same thing as anyone else would have nightmares about in this world” I shuddered. “Was trapped, walkers everywhere, one reaching out for me then...I woke up...So you just happened to be awake? Lurking outside my door?” I asked, raising an eyebrow at him, whether he could see me doing it I wasn't sure, there wasn't exactly a lot of light but the tone in my voice suggested my questioning of him.

“I had not long finished my watch, thank god. Bloody freezing out there tonight” he said rubbing his hands together. “You're all good though right?...I should get some sleep, got a long day tomorrow” he said standing.

“Yeah should be fine. Was just a nightmare” I sighed.

“Just try go back to sleep. I'll check on ya tomorrow” he said before he closed the door behind him. Leaving me in my empty room. Don't get me wrong I'd prefer to be on my own here but it just reminded me of all the times I was alone, when I had no one.

 

I settled back down in bed, pulling the blankets up around me. I wondered what I had yelled during my nightmare. If it was Daryl's name I had yelled, he didn't let on if that was the case.

 

Waking up I felt like something was off. I think it had to do with Chris checking on me last night or maybe it was the nightmare. Both seemed have equally dampened my mood. More so that during the dream I heard Daryl, clear as day, it was him, no mistaking it for someone else. _I needed to get out of this place, back to him._ I stretched out, instantly regretting it, my body still aching in more places than I would like to think about. I opened my eyes, confused. I had been so used to waking in the cold dark basement, that waking in a room in a bed was almost a foreign concept to me. Not to mention a comfy bed.

 

I forced myself out of bed, finding something clean to change into. I looked down at my bandaged wrists. I needed to change the dressings and put some more cream on them, anything to speed up the healing process. And they weren't going to get any better faster if I just left it. Knowing my luck they would get infected and have to chopped off. _No fucking way that was happening._ I carefully peeled the bandages away. My wrists were still an unpleasant sight. Sure, they weren't bleeding anymore but they ached and they were red raw, bruised to hell, slightly swollen and it hurt to bend them too much. I applied the cream and wrapped them back up, trying to do my best with a brace for each of them, keeping them in place.

 

 

Someone knocked at my door before entering, not waiting for a reply to enter. It was Molly, with Mark standing behind her. She smiled warmly at me. Mark just glared in my direction.

“I'm glad you're up. Did you sleep well?” she asked

“Yeah” I lied. No point in telling them about my nightmare, I doubt they really cared about it and I didn't really feel like having a morning therapy session.

“Good. I see you changed the dressings” she said pointing to the bandages and cream on the table. I nodded. “You ready to help out today?”

“Sure” I replied. I also doubted I didn't really have a say in this either, especially by the way Mark was staring me down. It was a look that said _“You try any of that shit you pulled the other day and I'll gut you”._ I'm sure he means it in the nicest way possible, I inwardly chuckle.

 

 

I rolled my eyes when Mark produced a pair of handcuffs and shackling me to one of the table by my ankle. First of all, it hadn't surprised me in the slightest that they would do this, I guess I kind of deserved it and secondly if they knew me at all then they wouldn't have cuffed me with something I could pick with my eyes closed. _Honestly people, handcuffs were child's play, especially with all these available instruments and tools I can use before me. I'm fighting the urge to pick it and then stand there swinging the cuffs round my finger laughing but because I'm trying to avoid manic Luke and the basement I push the urge down. For now._ Thoughts like these were and always have been getting me in trouble, even before the world went to shit.

 

Molly had set me up with a chopping board and half a dozen rabbits to skin and gut. A job like this was something I used to enjoy, _to a point._ It reminded me of being back in the woods, finding something for dinner and then cooking it over an open flame. The simple hunting trip. Now hunting trips were filled with crazy kidnappers, flesh eating corpses and hard to find game. _Oh, how times have changed. What I wouldn't give to go back in time._

“Do you know what you're going to do with the rabbits yet?” I ask, not bothering to turn to Molly. Sara had yet to join us and that pleased me, the less I saw of her the better.

“Oh, I was waiting on Sara she usually has the recipes. I'm terrible when it comes to savoury dishes, I'm better at making desserts.”

“Well if you can get some herbs and vegetables together I can throw something together” I offered.

“Oh yeah? That would be such a help. What do you need?” she asked.

I listed a bunch of ingredients that I thought would be easily available. Molly quickly gathered what I needed then left to go to the vegetable patch to get the rest. Mark stood on the other side of the kitchen leaning up against the counter, arms crossed as he watched my every move. I smirked inwardly. I wasn't about to escape. _Not yet anyway._

 

I quickly made the workings for a quick vegetable stock and then placing it on the burner. As I skinned and gutted the rabbits, Molly returned setting up beside me.

“Where'd you learn that?” she gestured to the skinned rabbits.

“Went huntin' a lot back home” I said. I could feel her looking at me, waiting for me to continue then sighing because I didn't. I knew she just wanted to chat to pass the time but I had a feeling she was also tasked with finding out more information about me for Kane. I would have to watch what I say to everyone. And that included Chris, I still wasn't sure how much I could trust him yet.

 

 

The sound of vehicle interrupted Mark from his quiet conversation with Molly in the corner.

“Well, shit would ya believe it? They're back” Mark said. I looked in the direction he was looking at and saw a truck, half of it covered in blood and gore by the looks of it and five people stepping out, all of whom I didn't recognise. One of them being a woman but I could clearly see that her hands were bound, even from inside the compound. _Great they've found another poor soul for their cause._ She didn't look to be resisting. _Guess she was lucky or smart enough and didn't have to drugged._

Kane was striding out there with another man I recognised but didn't remember his name, he a few feet behind Kane. Kane looked happy to see they were back, clapping one of the men on the back as they hugged, then shaking one of the men's hands.

“Who are they?” I ask, curiosity getting the better of me.

“Some more of our people. They left on a run about a month ago. Thought after all this time they were dead with how long they were gone” Mark replied still watching the men.

_More people, that's just what I need. Now there were four more pairs of eyes to watch me. Five, if the girl ate up the bullshit they were serving here. This wasn't going to help me at all._

“Guess you aren't the new girl anymore” he said nonchalantly, his eyes still focused on the men outside. _This didn't bother me in the slightest, I just hoped it could curb Luke's attention on me. Not that I wanted this new girl to suffer like I did, I wasn't a monster._

“You should get back to work” Mark cautioned placing a hand on the grip of his gun on his holster. I glared back at him and continued back to my task. _Fuck I hated this place._

 

Mark continued his quiet conversation with Molly as I started to clean up. I couldn't hear the whole conversation but I could make out parts of it. Words that jumped out to me were _“nuisance” “she's on her last chance” “she'll get what's coming to her” “Luke will take care of it”_ , that one probably scared me the most, I had seen Mark smirk in my direction when he'd said that too. I was sure he said it loud enough for me to hear on purpose. He'd say anything to scare me at this stage, I had a feeling he too had gotten into trouble with my escape, hence why he was on _'Camille watch'_ today, make up for his mistake the other day.

 

I heard the door open on the other side of the kitchen, I didn't bother looking up, I thought it better that keep my head down and continue working. Being this submissive was fucking killing me. I never wanted to have myself in this position ever again. _If_ I wanted to submit to man in the future it would be by choice because I wanted it, not because I was being ordered to or expected to. The key word being if. I doubted I would want to submit to man ever in the future, not after this fiasco.

The footsteps approached me, stopping till they were on the other side of the bench I was cleaning up on. I kept my head down. _Playing the fucking part._

“Kane wishes to speak with you” I heard him say. I looked up, happy it wasn't Luke this time. Not that this man looked at me any different. I couldn't remember his name but I clearly remember him from the day at the trailer park. I wiped my hands on the towel beside me and waited.

“C'mon I ain't got all fucking day” he growled.

“She's cuffed to the fucking bench you idiot” Mark grunted angrily as he strode over to me, quickly bending down and unlocking the cuff round my ankle roughly, making me suppress the wince I wanted to voice.

I followed behind the man till he led me somewhere different, for once not heading to the main room. We had bypassed it completely. I wanted to question where he was taking me. I didn't like the idea of being in a room with Kane, especially if it was just him. I was always just waiting for the other shoe to drop in this place.

He came to a stop at the end of the hallway, knocking on the door.

“Come in” I heard Kane on the other side of the door. The man opened the door, and gestured for me to go inside ahead of him. I pushed the fear back, trying to hold my composure together. The man gave me a stern look when I hesitated before taking a step forward. He roughly grabbed my arm dragging me forward, pushing me through the door and then closing it behind him. I was left alone with Kane. _Fuck._

“Take a seat Camille” Kane said in a flat tone, gesturing to the seat in front of his desk. _What the fuck did he need a desk for? Not like he has a job, cult leader doesn't sound like a desk job._

I take the seat that was offered to me and timidly looked up at him. I didn't understand why he insisted on having these chats. There were a few things I had expected from our previous chats, he wanted more information, about me and my family; he wanted to make me feel uncomfortable and intimidate me; and lastly was letting Luke prey, whether it was from afar or when he was next to me. I was singing on the inside that he was noticeably absent today.

“I'm guessing you're wondering why I called you in here today?” he mused. I nodded once, the corners of his mouth turning up slightly. “Well firstly I wanted to know how you were settling in here? Chris mentioned you had a rough night last night...” he said resting his arms on the desk. _This slip from Chris, was it just in passing or was he reporting back to Kane? I needed to look into that more. I needed to see if he could be trusted._

I waited, processing my answer internally before I spoke. “Was just a nightmare” I said shrugging, trying to brush it off.

“Chris made it sound like you were quite shaken up about it”

“Just a nightmare” I repeated.

“What was it about, if I may ask?” Kane waited for my answer. I guess he was expecting me to flat out tell him to fuck off and granted my inner voice was screaming at me to do it. I had to resist the urge and that was a huge strain.

“Same as everyone has in this world I guess. Biters. Was trapped, couldn't get out”

“You know you don't have to worry about that here. You're safe” he said in a comforting tone.

“You really believe that, don't you?” I said

“What? You don't feel safe here?” he questioned sceptically.

“Is there anywhere safe really in this world? Sure, you have fences now but they won't hold forever” I said dismissively.

“Well what do you suggest?” he spat.

“I don't have a solution. Just giving you the facts. Surely you realise this?” I rolled my eyes.

He sighed, just watching me for a minute before answering. “I'm doing my best ya know?” _This was his best. Christ, he was delusional._ “And we got some good news today, some more of our group returned, with a new house guest too” he smiled. _House guest? He said that far too casually. I guess that explains where Luke is at the moment. I hope the girl is alright, she doesn't deserve any of this shit either. I wonder if they would let me talk to her...no I doubt they would, not yet. I mean I still have a watch-dog and escorts. I'll help her if I can._

“Yeah I saw them arrive earlier” I replied.

“Have you been getting to know everyone else?” he asked.

“No” I shook my head, rolling my eyes again. “I haven't had the _opportunity_ ” I wavered on the last word.

“Well, you got to know Luke?” he said.

 _Got to know? Was he high as a fucking kite right now?_ “You're serious? Getting to know someone doesn't require several days of torture” I seethed.

“Just making an observation. And I have noticed he can't keep his eyes off you, since you came here” he mused. “Well maybe you can get to know everyone over dinner tonight” he said.

He tried asking me about my family again, wanting more answers regarding them. I still wouldn't give him the information he required.  I had half thought about giving him bullshit information instead but that would become too messy, I would have to keep track of all the lies. I decided to keep quiet on the matter. He eventually moved off that subject and talked more about his vision for Camp Nazi. _No, he hadn't called it that, he had called it a Haven and the New World Order. I just tried not to roll my eyes at his statements. It was really hard not to._ He had also stressed again about the importance of me following the rules and how important I was to the success of the mission, that I mattered. _Again with the eye rolling._ I nodded and pretended to sound enthusiastic and pliant to his _views._

 

 

I left his office, the man sitting on a chair waiting for me outside. He stood and I followed behind him as he led me back towards the kitchen. Having an escort everywhere was fucking annoying. I hated not having any freedom. When I was with my family and I did chores, it was because I wanted to help for the good of the family, not because it was my rightful place as a woman to serve her man. They definitely picked the wrong girl for this task. I was only getting by at the moment because I had somehow picked up some good acting skills but I think I credit that more to playing poker for years.

 

As we came to the door in the kitchen, the man stood and waited, stepping aside waiting for me to go in. I didn't move, he glared back at me, daring me to defy him again. I relented, but only because I was covered in enough bruises. I didn't need to be set back any further than I was already.

I pushed open the door and walked in once again to find Molly down on her knees. Mark looked up smirking, gripping his hold on Molly tighter as she tried to move off him having heard me come through the door. I froze for a second before backing straight back out, the door closing in front of me.

“What the fuck? Go in!” the man behind me demanded.

“No way. I'll wait till they're done” I said unamused.

The man quirked an eyebrow at me confused. “I said go in there. Don't make me tell you again” he growled angrily.

“Well you go see why I would rather wait” I folded my arms across my chest standing my ground. The man huffed, contemplating it for a second before he poked his head in the door, then he too backed out, a hint of blush on his face. I shook my head.

“Mark doesn't give a fuck who sees him, he's a prick like that” he shook his head. “C'mon I'll take you to Sara instead. No one needs to see that shit” he's still shaking his head at the incident. _Well I'm glad we can agree on that. I never thought I would be agreeing with any of these people about anything here. And well she wasn’t going to get pregnant if she was on her knees giving him head all the time. It sounds harsh but it’s a fact._

 

He led me out down another corridor, unlocking a door before we went outside. I felt the smile on my face this was my first chance at being outside in quite a few days. The last time being my failed escape. It wasn't terribly hot outside but I was just glad to be outside and feel the sun on my skin. We walked out past the back of the barn to where they had set up a washing line. Sara was currently sitting down in the shade, with a huge bucket and a washboard doing the laundry.

“I bought her to help you out” he said to Sara, pointing at me.

“Wasn't she in the kitchen?” Sara glared. _Guess she was still pissed with me. Wipe the smug look off your face, you don't need anymore reasons to be sent back to Luke,_ I reprimanded myself.

“Yeah she's done for now. Do you need help or not?” he was starting to get annoyed now. Sara nodded and the man left, leaving me with the queen bee.

“Where do you need me?” I asked.

“You can start hanging the clothes, there's a huge pile to be hung by the line” she pointed in the direction. And I saw it, there was several loads to be hung. I nodded and went to work. It was peaceful and nice to be outside. And just hanging the washing out made me feel almost relaxed. But I wasn't going to let an opportunity like this go to waste. With each new piece of clothing I hung I took in my surroundings, really getting a good look at the property. The property itself was quite huge and finding the weak spot was going to take some patience. _Not that I had a lot of that currently, but there weren’t any other options. I had to look and learn and try keep track of everyone's comings and goings._

I tried to be an inconspicuous as possible, not turning my head too much, making sure I was constantly hanging the washing up. _The art of looking busy when you're actually doing fuck all, it’s an art form really_. It was hard to keep it up as I felt Sara watching my every move.

 

I managed to evade Sara and she never said anything or even tried to make conversation. She only talked to me when she was giving an order. And that suited me just fine, except the ordering around bit.

Once we were finished we went back to the kitchen to have a quick lunch, clean up and get things ready for dinner later on. Thankfully Molly was not on her knees this time when we walked in, Mark was nowhere to be seen. Molly did however avoid all contact with me, which surprised me as this wasn't the first time I had witnessed _that._

 

 

I felt the hair stand up on the back of my neck when I heard the door open on the far side of the kitchen. _Luke._ Only he could make me feel that nervous. I didn't have to turn around to confirm it was him, the hairs raised on my neck was confirmation enough. I kept my head down as I started scrubbing a pot, hoping he would just leave. I didn't want to deal with his shit. Not now. Not ever. Not that he would take a hint no matter how obvious I made it.

It was silent for a while but I could feel his eyes on my back. I finished scrubbing that pot and grabbed another. I was trying to tune him out, trying to forget he was in the same room as me. I could feel him stalking closer and closer. He was silent in his moves, stalking me like I was prey. But I knew better than to get spooked and run. _Just fucking ignore the asshole!_

 

His hands appeared either side of me, resting on either side of the sink, making me freeze. I could feel the heat from his body he was that close. I hated feeling this trapped, especially with him.

“Hope you're not all jealous because I'm spending my time today with Victoria” his breath hitting my ear. _I guess that was the new girl he was “convincing” in the basement._

“Why would I be jealous?” I rolled my eyes.

“Kane mentioned something” he mused. _Did Kane say something just to stir him up? Because I certainly didn't give the impression I was swooning over this idiot._

“And?” I replied bluntly.

“And I wanted you to know that it’s not her I'm after.” I had to repress a shudder of disgust. I just kept silent, hoping my silence would get him to back off. “I'll see you at dinner?” he asked, running his fingers down my shoulder and arm.

“Well everyone will be there” I said curtly, scrubbing the pot harder, taking my frustrations out on the pot.

“Good” was all he said before he stepped away and walked out of the kitchen, his footfalls obvious this time. I heard the door shut behind him and I let out the breath I wasn't aware I was holding. I was sure Luke had misinterpreted my nervous behaviour, my short answers, thinking I was nervous for other reasons. He was blind to see I had no interest in him. I only interacted when I was when I had to, for the sake of me living another day. But I was sure if I'd said outright “Fuck no” he would just see it as a twisted sort of foreplay. I wasn't sure how I would get it through to him that I had no interest, even with it being the end of the world, I wouldn't be swayed.

 

 

Finally finishing the mountain of dishes, I looked out the window to see one of the truck's returning through the gates. The person on watch closing the gate behind them when they entered. Supplies were loaded on the back of the truck. I wondered who they had pillaged to get these supplies, how many lives had they taken to get what they needed. Sure, they hadn't robbed us blind but they only took what they needed at the time. But I doubted all their supply runs ended with everyone still being alive, in their group or the people they were stealing from. Four men exited the vehicle, one being Chris. I felt a little relieved that he had made it back safe. I watched as they unloaded what they could before disappearing inside the main building, probably to report to Kane.

 

 

I wasn't sure where the rest of the day disappeared to because soon enough it was getting dark. I had cooked, cleaned, done laundry, somehow it took most of the day. But with only three women in this group, including me, we were picking up the slack for the rest of the men. Because it was _woman's work._

 

 

As we all sat down for dinner, Kane stood to address everyone. “Three months ago, there were just six of us, fending for ourselves in an apartment building. But then the cities got too bad. I found Sara a few days after we had left” he smiled at her, she grinned back. “We found others along the way, lost some really good people too and now we're here. I'm sure you all heard about the loss of Logan, Mike and Ana today” he said looking down the table at Charlie, who was now ducking his head, a look of pain across his face. I'd overheard Mark talking about Charlie and his mate, Ana. I was surprised to hear she was pregnant and that she had gone on the run. I thought they would have kept her safe here? Maybe Charlie had insisted on it? My mind drifted to think of Lori, how she was only a few months along now. How Rick would be protecting his own, no matter how confused and angry he felt about the situation. How they too were out there living in the danger that is our world now. I closed my eyes, trying to force the worrying thoughts I had about my family.

I tuned back into listening to end of Kane's speech. What I had missed I wasn't sure but they weren't looking to me for any answers of sorts, so thank fuck for that.

 

“Wow this looks great Molly” Kane praised, lifting the lid on the pot in front of him.

“Oh, this wasn't me, it was Camille” Molly corrected. _Fuck, why couldn't she just take credit for this?_ Everyone in the room fell silent. I instantly dropped my head, I didn't want credit and I hated being the centre of attention. I could feel all the eyes on me in the room.

“Well aren't you just full of surprises” Kane said in my direction, I had still yet to raise my head. And I didn't until I heard the clinking of cutlery hitting plates around the table.

 

I sat at dinner just listening. This was the first opportunity I'd had to see everyone from their group in one room, minus the new _recruit_. She had yet to come out of the basement as she only came here today. I guessed she was getting the grand tour and induction into this _wonderful_ establishment. I hoped Luke wasn't going to hard on her. Flashes from my time in the basement raced through my mind, making me clench my fork tightly for a few seconds before I took a deep breath and released the fork.

I looked down the table to where Luke was sitting, making sure to avoid eye contact, I glanced at his hands, I noticed his knuckles were bloody and bruised. _Damn he was up to his old tricks. Poor girl. I needed to help her._ I wasn't sure how I would help her but I wasn't going to leave her down there for Luke to torture for sick pleasure.

 

I was seated between two of the men who had returned today. Charlie and Josh. Both seemed alright, mostly talking around me to each other. Charlie was more sullen of the two but that was understandable. I wanted to ask about Ana but it wasn't my place to. I had never met either person before so why should he tell me about her. I could have made an effort to talk to people but being the new girl, people were hesitant as well, so it wasn't just me.

I glanced across the table to see Chris smiling at me and giving me a thumbs up and pointing to his dinner. I had to admit it was one of the better things I had cooked since everything went to shit. Although Hershel's farm would have been the only decent place I would have had the opportunity to cook and I didn't get that chance as we mostly cooked out on the camp-fire, giving Hershel and his family space. How things have changed. For the second time tonight my thoughts wandered back to my family, thinking about what they would be doing, if they were safe, if they were looking for me. Once again, I pushed those thoughts aside, last thing I needed to do was fall apart in front of everyone, although it could scare all the men off. Silver linings...

 

 

As dinner wound down Kane called me and Luke over. _Great, what the hell did he want now? And why was Luke here? If this was some bullshit set-up, I won't be able to control my anger. And then I would be making a trip down to the basement, again._

“You're off dishes duty tonight” he directed at me, I was a little shocked, even though I had cleaned up the majority of my mess earlier. “I need you to fix a plate and bring it to our new guest, Luke will accompany you.” He looked to Luke who nodded. _Well I was glad this wasn't a set-up and we wouldn't be alone,_ I inwardly sighed. But I was also dreading having to see this girl all locked up. I would have to fight every fibre of my being to not help her and that would be killing me on the inside.

 

I fixed a plate, Luke came back with a bottle of water. And I followed Luke down the corridor, memorising the route to and from the basement. I gripped the plate a little tighter than I needed to. Going back here was bringing back all the fear again. Luke looked over his shoulder at me and smirked, I was sure I wasn't hiding the fear as well as I should have been.

“ _You_ have no reason to be frightened, ain't you in the basement” he said casually. It didn't make me feel any better about the situation.

 

Luke came to a stop in front of the basement door, the bolt sliding back loudly.

“We bought you some dinner” Luke said as he descended the stairs. I reluctantly followed him, feeling my anxiety increase with each step I took. I looked round the basement to see the girl bound at the wrists and ankles sitting on the couch. It was deja-vu all over again. I swallowed thickly as I looked over her appearance, she had a bruise on her jaw, small bruises on her throat which looked like finger marks, a split lip, her cheeks stained with dried tears and a few other bruises that weren't covered by clothing. Luke, well he had been himself. He wasn't going to let up on the poor girl till she too submitted. I wanted to tell her it would be ok, that she should be strong, but I didn't want to give her false hope, especially when I didn't know how I was getting myself out of this situation yet.

 

Luke stepped in front of her, crouching down and taking the knife from his sheath. I held my breath as did she, as he flicked the blade through her bindings. He stood again, walking over to me, flicking his head towards the girl. I caught his eyes for a second before moving towards the girl, she pushed herself further into the couch seeing me approach, I tried to smile, trying to seem friendly, as I held the plate out to her as I neared. I heard Luke snicker from behind me, which made me scrunch my eyes shut in frustration and anger. When I opened my eyes, I could see the girl looking up at me expectantly. She had seen me cringe at Luke's amusement.

 

“Help me” she croaked out.

I felt, rather than heard Luke move behind me. “You need to eat and drink” I say in a tone that I don't quite recognise, I sounded distant. I heard Luke halt his movements, I think he was waiting to see what I did and said. This felt like a test.

“Please” she begged.

“I'm just here to bring dinner. I made it, it's rabbit” I said. I swallowed again when I saw tears form in her eyes. I looked down at the plate, avoiding her gaze. I held out the plate to her, waiting for her to take it. It was a long minute before she reached out with shaky hands taking the plate. She didn't say anything else as she ate quietly. I took a few steps back, I could feel Luke eyeing me. I glanced over to the other side of the room, seeing the chains attached to wall, making me shudder. I heard Luke snicker quietly this time. I didn't bother acknowledging him.

When she finished, I handed her the water bottle, she greedily drank down as much as she could. I placed the bottle on the floor, within reach. Luke stepped forward, I took the plate and stepped aside, watching as he took another cable tie from his pocket and securing her wrists again.

 

 

“You did good with her” Luke praised as we walked down the corridor. I just rolled my eyes in anger. “I almost thought you were gonna try something when she asked for help” he laughed out.

“I ain't stupid” I mumbled.

He stopped walking and turned around to face me. “No, you aren't. But you better start with your convincing me soon or you'll end up right beside her.”

I arched an eyebrow at him. “I'm not going to proposition you, this ain't how this works. If I want you I'll let you know.” I said starting to walk past him, a smirk on my face. _Shit, should have kept my mouth shut._

He grabbed my arm before I past him, pushing me up against the wall. He glared at me, holding my arm above my head, my other hand still holding the empty plate, his glare softening as he smirked down at me. “You and I both know you'll be begging for me soon enough. No one else would be able to keep you on your toes like I could.” He leaned in closer, his face only inches away from mine. I wanted to turn away but fear and stubbornness made me hold my ground. I knew he would see this differently but I wasn't thinking about that now. He leaned in closer, his lips ghosting over mine. “Tell me to stop then” he whispered huskily.

Without missing a beat, “Stop” I glared.

He pushed himself away, releasing my arm, smirking at me. “You'll beg soon enough” he said, “C'mon I'll walk you back to your room” he gestured for me to walk ahead, taking the empty plate from my hand.

 

After a long day, I returned to my room, Luke closing the door once I was in the room. I was thankful he didn't say anything else before he left. I'd had enough of his bullshit tonight. The door not being locked once again. That still made me uneasy. I wasn't about to risk being caught out of my room. Too much was at stake right now. I don't know how many times I thought if I just open the door and check, see if anyone is watching and then if it’s clear make a run for it. But the fear of knowing how the last two times I had tried to escape had ended weighed heavily in my mind. If I tried again this time and failed, plain and simple, I was fucked.

 

I looked to my bed side table to see two books sitting there. It bought a smile to my face, knowing that Chris had done it. The vibe I get from him is that he could be persuaded to come with me. I just needed to work out if he really can be trusted or if he's under Kane's thumb.

I picked up the first book. It was a science fiction novel, instantly I thought of my father. The other book made me chuckle. It was titled _How to survive the end of the world._ I'm sure it was more of a joke, as I had survived pretty well so far, especially with being on my own for several months. Anyone who had survived so far in this world was doing alright for themselves. But who knows maybe it had some untold wisdom in there that could be helpful.

 

 

I was pulled from my book to hear a soft knock on my door and I was hesitant to answer it. _What if Luke was coming to take what he wanted?_ They knocked again. I sighed, if it was Luke he would have more than likely just barged in by now, it had to be someone else. _I hoped._ I walked to the door, opening it a fraction and peeking out. Chris smiled and I sighed in relief, stepping back and opening the door further.

“Hey” I said “Thanks for the books” I smiled.

He grinned back at me. “So, they're alright? I wasn't sure what to get, so I got something I like to read as well. And no soppy love stories” he chuckled.

“Yeah, they're fine. Although the survival guide...ya reckon I need that?” I asked amused.

“Nah I saw and thought it would be funny...you weren't offended by it?” he asked nervously, raking his hands through his short hair.

I kept a straight face for a few seconds before I chuckled. “No, I wasn't offended. Maybe I'll learn something new. Do you want to talk more about your choices in books?” I ask.

“No, not tonight” he glanced down the corridor, “Luke's on watch tonight” he whispered. I nodded knowingly. “I'll catch up with ya tomorrow, ok?” he smiled before glancing down the corridor again. “Night” he whispered as I started to close the door.

 

I lay in bed that night, reading the survival guide till my eyes grew heavy and I fell asleep.

 

 

It had been a few days since I'd had to take dinner down to Victoria. I still felt uneasy about the whole situation. I couldn't get the picture of her beat up body out of my head. And when she was asking for help it broke my heart. I felt so guilty, I wanted more than anything to help her but with Luke watching my every move I couldn't risk it or I would end up beside her or worse. I only had to take food to her the once, someone else got tasked with it from then on.

I spent most of my time during the day doing chores, completely boring shit. At night Chris would come by to check up on me and we would chat for several hours. He'd try catch me during the day when he could but usually there were eyes on us, so it wouldn't be for long.

And it hadn't gone unnoticed by Luke that I had been spending more time with Chris. I watched one day after Chris had come by to say hello quickly, after he left Luke had been watching, he ended up taking his anger out on Josh, who just happened to be standing closest to him. It took three guys and Kane yelling him to pull his shit together to get him to back off. I'd hardly seen him in the last day or so, and I wasn't sure if that was good or bad.

 

I'd also overheard Kane, Charlie and Luke talking one day about Victoria. The conversation sounded all too familiar after my failed escape attempt. Apparently she was only getting worse, she had been lashing out at anyone who came near her, Luke had beaten her bloody several times because of it. She wasn't wanting to submit and hell I didn't blame her. Kane had given Luke to the end of the week to get her to submit or...well I didn't want to think about that possibility. I wish I could give her some hope, tell her it'll all be fine and we'll escape. But again, I had no way to get to her and no way of knowing if I could promise any of that. And so the guilt piled up.

 

 

It was early, the sun barely up for the day. I had been awake for a while now, just staring at the ceiling and endlessly turning over trying to will myself back to sleep and getting more pissed off with myself when I couldn't go back to sleep. Something was up, I wasn't sure what but I just felt it. Something bad had happened. I sat up in bed looking to the curtains. I knew it was just paranoia. I couldn't hear anything out of the ordinary. There weren’t any sounds of moaning or banging against the window. I tentatively pulled it back just a fraction so I could peek out. Nothing. Not a damn thing was out there. A little morning dew hung low to ground and not a cloud in the sky. I let go of the curtain and crawled back into bed, pulling the covers up, going back to staring at the ceiling.

 

 

I started my day as I usually would, doing my chores, listening to Molly and Sara talk amongst themselves. I never tried to include myself in their conversations and they didn't either. It was lonely yes, but their conversations never interested me. Always about the most stupid things or the topic I dreaded the most. Babies. Don't get me wrong I have nothing against babies in general, it’s just I would like the opportunity to choose who and when I wanted a baby, with not have it forced upon me, with someone I loathed completely.

I had overheard Molly one day upset because she hadn't gotten pregnant yet. There was a small part of me that was sad for her too, until I remembered where I was and Camp Nazi's mission. And then there was Sara, well I'm surprised Kane even considered her for a partner, she knocking on menopauses' doorstep for Christ-sake. I'm surprised he hasn't chosen a younger _pet_. I shuddered at the thought, I didn't want to accidentally end up where he would think of that possibility. I didn't need it to be mistaken as an offer. And I could imagine the shit storm it would create with Luke.

 

So, I continued mindlessly doing what I was supposed to. Doing my chores, keeping to myself, trying to stay out of trouble. _It’s a lot harder than I thought it would be, too many devious plans running round in my head._

 

 

**Bang!**

A single gunshot startled everyone. We all seemed to freeze for the faintest of seconds, as we looked around the property to see where it had been fired from. The two people on the watchtowers we could see from where we sat, were looking back towards the house. A few walkers at the fences were now riled up because of the shot, the men on watch not paying them any attention at the moment, their gazes still fixed towards the house. It couldn't have come from one of the watchtowers as they all had silencers on their weapons.

A sense of dread started to fill me, what shit-storm was waiting for us inside?

“It's not safe out here” Molly whispered.

“That gunshot came from inside the house. If you want to go running in there be my fucking guest” I huffed angrily, my eyes focused on the house, waiting to see movement, anything. I didn't care if I was stepping over the line with Molly.

“Don't speak to me like that!” Molly stomped. I rolled my eyes.

“Keep your shit together” Josh reprimanded. I heard Molly mumble something inaudible. Sara had yet to say anything, he eyes were fixed on the house, a look of fear in her eyes.

We waited for what felt like hours, in reality it was only several minutes, when Kane, Luke and several other men emerged from the house, a few looking to be a little shaken up. My eyes immediately saw the blood splattering Luke's shirt.

Kane looked round the yard till his eyes found Sara and immediately jogged over to her. “I'm ok” he said comforting her.

“What the hell happened?” Josh asked.

“Victoria...she...she hung herself. Luke found her already turned” Kane stumbling on his words, I had never seen him so affected before, until now I wasn't sure he had any empathy.

Upon hearing this news, I felt another rush of guilt wash over me. One more thing I had failed to do. My eyes were now fixed on the ground, a lone tear rolling down my cheek. I needed to hold it together, at least until I was alone in my room. _I couldn't save her,_ I repeated in my head.

I felt someone pull me against their chest and I tried to pull away, not knowing who it was, my hands clenched into fists against their chest.

“Shh...its ok...it’s just me” Chris whispered in my ear. I stopped struggling, tears falling more steadily, he held me tighter and I was thankful for it at this moment. I didn't feel so alone.

Movement from across the yard caught my eye. I sucked in a breath and felt sick watching from the other side of the yard as they unceremoniously dumped her body onto a stack of wood and pouring some petrol over the body. Luke reached into his pocket, grabbing a box of matches, lighting the pile and walking away as the flames climbed higher, burning anything left of Victoria. I know none of us really knew her well but it pissed me off how no one seemed to care at all. They just sort of shrugged it felt like and then went about their daily duties. _So much for being a family. What a load of shit!_

I don't remember when we went inside, I don't remember seeing or hearing anyone else other than Chris after I watched her burn away into nothing. I now noticed Chris had bought me to my room. I was sitting on my bed, Chris standing in front of me. I saw his shoulder of his shirt was still wet from my tears.

“I'm sorry” I pointed to his shoulder.

He shook his head, crouching down in front of me. “It's ok” he smiled, “It's just a shirt, it'll dry. Do you need me to get you anything?” he asked.

“Water” I croaked out.

He smiled, nodding. “I'll be right back, ok?” he waited for me to answer. I nodded. He quickly stood, closing the door behind him.

I was left alone now; new tears ran down my cheeks. I hated that this got me so upset. I knew why the tears were there though. Guilt. It was the only reason. Rationally I knew there was nothing I could do to help her, not yet anyway. I'm currently helpless at the moment. And that frustrated me even more.

 

Chris returned with two bottles of water and some bread. He offered me both, I drank enough water to quench my thirst, Chris taking a seat next to me, starting to eat some of the bread. He held some out for me, I took some, only taking small bites, I had lost my appetite but I needed to eat.

Chris stood to leave. “Please...don't go yet” I begged in a hoarse voice.

“I'll stay till you fall asleep” he smiled.

 

As I lay in the bed, still unable to sleep, Chris was sprawled out across the chair in the corner, dozing, his head reclining back against the back of the chair. We'd become friends of sorts over the last few days and it was now I could see he could be trusted. So spitting this out now was either going to get me dragged before Kane or out of this hell hole forever. It was a risk I was willing to take now, my strength was coming back, my wrists were still a little weak but they would be able to hold up for the time being and my bruises were faint now, only the biggest bruises I had were faint now.

“I can't end up like Victoria. I need to escape this place” I said only loud enough for Chris to hear me.

He slowly raised his head and his expression looked as sullen as I felt. He nodded. “I know and we will. I promise” he said holding my gaze, I knew for sure then he was on my side.

 

We were silent for a while, both of us absorbing the realisation. _The hope._

“Have you thought about how we are going to escape this place?” Chris asked quietly breaking the silence, coming to sit in front of me on the bed.

“I had a few ideas, only been thinking bout it since I got here...All I know is that Kane won't let us go...not without a fight. Luke will probably kill me” I stated.

“He wouldn't kill you.”

“Oh c'mon, look how pissed he saw you talking to me the other day. If he won't kill me, he'll do much worse” I cringed.

He thought it over for a minute. “Well what do you propose?”

“Well we won't be able to get twenty feet out the front door without one of the watchtowers spotting us and sounding the alarm. Learnt that from my last attempt” I shuddered, “Luke and Kane both need to go. I don't want to be looking over my shoulder every five god damn minutes making sure they aren't following us. I don't want to live that way for the rest of my life.”

“And what about everyone else?” he asked.

I shrugged my shoulders. “I'm not sure. Who would retaliate if we left?” I questioned.

“Well if we were to off Kane, Sara would hold a grudge. Jack's still bitter that your man killed his brother, so he wouldn't hesitate to kill you” he said grimacing, “Mark would most likely follow suit.”

“Which means Molly would as well” I sighed. The imaginary death toll was climbing. “The rest of the men, they look itching for a fight, regardless of the rules. If the blood starts flowing they are gonna join in just so they can take the woman for themselves and the supplies. And then kill who ever is remaining and not going to follow their new programme.”

Chris sighed heavily, his head in his hands. The silence was thick.

“So, we kill them all...” I said emotionless.

“Just like that?” he said looking up at me.

“Yes, just like that” I growled quietly, “Unless you have a magical invisibility cloak hidden somewhere so we can sneak out undetected, I don't see any other way. I know it isn't ideal. Shit, you think I want to do it this way. If I had something to barter with to get my freedom I would.” I huffed. Chris grabbed my hand and squeezing it gently.

“I wish there was another way too” he said solemnly.

 

 

Chris was gone by the time I awoke. He slept beside me on top of the covers, he'd fallen asleep and I didn't have the heart to wake him. We'd have to make plans, viable ones that would actually work this time. I wasn't getting caught this time. _No fucking way. Come hell or high water I was getting out with Chris._

 

As I opened my door Charlie was waiting for me. He grunted some sort of greeting, which I ignored. If he wasn't going to speak words to me, then why should I? It was childish but I was starting to care less and less about being the good obedient girl. He mumbled something about laundry and Sara. Well I guess I was doing laundry today with Sara. _Perfect._

 

 

I followed Sara out with each of us carrying two tubs full of dirty laundry. The last thing I wanted to do was clean these asshole's clothes. I don't understand why just because the world went to shit, woman automatically went back to being that 1950s housewife, expected to cook, clean and cater to their husbands every fucking need. I wasn't made for the domestic life, wasn't before the world ended so why would it change now. And forcing me to do these jobs wasn't exactly making me feel any better about the situation.

“Fucking stupid pricks...fucking clean your own fucking shirts” I muttered to myself, only loud enough for my ears. I didn't need Sara, Charlie or Molly overhearing me. I was just at my wits end with this place. I was feeling less sane as each day passed. And I wasn't sure if that could be a good thing or something I could use to my advantage.

 

Of course I noticed the cuffs Charlie was holding. Like I expected any less from these people. He gripped my ankle squeezing in painfully before he shackled one of my ankles and the other to the base of the water pump. I had a few feet of leeway with the chain in between but not enough that it would be of any use. I was glad we were in the shade while doing this, especially with my limited area I could move about in.

 

 

The sounds of yells from the other side made us all freeze. I was just wringing a shirt out when the yells sounded. I felt all colour drain from my face. It wasn't hard to see what had prompted the yells.

Walkers streamed through a hole in the fence. There was one, then two, then there was a steady stream of them. The gunshot from yesterday must have provoked a herd of them nearby. I instinctively pulled against my bindings, not that I could pull free from them or that I had anything close by I could pick it with.

Charlie, checked his rifle, making sure it was loaded, then reached into his pocket, fishing out the keys to my shackles. He chucked them to Sara, “Unlock her and get back to the house, move!” he yelled before he took off towards the swarm of walkers across the other side of the yard. I watched as Molly took off towards the house, abandoning Sara and me. I tugged at the chains again, the metal clanging against the water pump.

More and more walkers were coming though the gap in the fence, I could hear muffled gunshots from the other side of the yard and could see a man on the second floor of the house, rifle pointed in the direction of the swarm.

 

“C'mon let's get out of here” I panicked looking to Sara. And this is where I felt it really all turned to shit. She turned around to face me, smiling. She didn't move towards me, she just watched as I struggled, my eyes flitting between her and the impending crowd of walkers coming our way. _What the fuck was she waiting for?_

 

“Sara!” I yelled, “Sara!” I tugged harder against the chains. Sara looked over at me and smirked. _She fucking smirked?_ Then she turned and started to run back towards the house. _That stupid bitch was gonna regret fucking leaving me here like that. Mark my fucking words, she would pay._ I tugged on the chain uselessly. I knew there was no way of pulling myself free from the chain. I looked up again back to the fence, the walkers were pouring in through the hole in the fence, more filling the yard, several bodies dropped to the ground. I couldn't even count how many there were. My brain was flying all over the place, going into panic mode.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck!” I muttered in a panic to myself. I was alone out here. I could hear gunshots from around the compound, but no one was coming to help me. Somehow I was going to have to get myself out of this new mess on my own. “Fucking Sara!” I muttered angrily pulling again on the chains.

I stopped, taking a pause and a deep breath, I needed to get myself under control. Panicking wasn't going to help me in the slightest. First, I needed to get free of these shackles, second I would need to get a weapon and third well fuck I wasn't sure which option was the best choice, fight or flee? Fleeing sounded good, but the gunshots were drawing more walkers in from all sides of the compound, I'd be dinner if I went out there over the fence. And then fighting, well that seemed just as stupid at the other option. Currently I had no weapon so that clearly puts me in _“I'm fucked”_ category. If I could get a hold of a weapon, that would give me a better chance of getting to chop Sara's head off. _Silver fucking lining._ No I didn't hold grudges at all.

 

 

 

 

 

_I was surrounded in red. The blood had stopped flowing not long ago. The screams of pain now silent. The silence was deafening. The sharks had finished circling. They had eaten their fill. I'd watched as they left, leaving me standing surrounded by blood. Standing alone._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you thought of this chapter. Complete sucker for reviews!  
> I know its a bit of a cliffhanger. Fucking Sara! Your patience will be rewarded, promise!


	35. Line of Blood

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So finally got the chapter together. Just a warning its really long. Hadn't expected it to be this long and almost thought about splitting it up but thought “Fuck it”. With it being long, it covers a lot but I'm pretty happy with how its all turned out. Just be aware future chapters I don't think will be this long. I wanted to get this arc done, so long chapters just helped me get there faster. But damn that chapter took it out of me!  
> Thanks to those who reviewed last chapter, Debbief722 (my number one reviewer xxx), kittysaurus and vikkixoxox. Hope ya'll enjoy this chapter!!! Dedicated to you three!  
> But I think the end of the chapter will satisfy most of you. It makes me smile... ALOT!!!!!  
> Alright I have rambled on enough and you have plenty to read as it is..... SO ENJOY!!!!

_Moans and Gunshots. Growling and Screaming. Behold the glory that is the music of my generation now..._

 

Facing a herd of walkers who were slowly making their way towards me, while I was chained to a fucking water pump was...not how I wanted to go out. Where's my blaze of glory? Or my knight in shining armour? Or why is it the good girl dying not the pricks inside who kidnapped her? So many questions ran through my head and then so many different ways I was going to get back at Sara for this fucking stunt she pulled.

 

I pulled again at the shackles, knowing exactly how useless it was. I scanned the ground for anything, anything I could pick the lock with. But with my luck firmly being in the shit right now, there wasn't a scrap of anything I could use to get myself free. I wish I was the sort of girl who pinned her hair back. Those would have come in handy about now. _Maybe I should do that in future. If I have a future that is._

 

Bodies littered the grounds in front of me, but walkers were still coming through the hole in the fence and gunshots still sounded in multiple directions. The walkers weren't directly going for me currently but I knew it wouldn't take long for them to notice this cornered and shackled meal waiting. I was still stuck on how I was escaping this mess. I just couldn't see it happening, not by myself anyway. And I wasn't about to shout out for help, didn't need to attract unwanted attention. _How the fuck was I going to get out of this?_ It was the question I was going over again and again in my head. I never thought I would say this but where the fuck was Luke? Sure, he'd been keeping his distance more lately but usually I could look round the room I was in or round the yard and be able to spot him. But the one fucking day I actually wanted to see his sorry ass and he's nowhere to be fucking found. _Damnit where are you, you sadistic delusional prick?_

 

Walkers were now getting close to the house, some had stopped to paw uselessly against the windows, some were making their way towards the main door. I had yet to be spotted. _But that wouldn't last long._ My chances for survival were getting slimmer by the second. I wasn't getting out of this, I resigned to myself. This was the end of the road. I'd never get to see Daryl again. Or my family. I dropped to my knees and looked out to the swarm of walkers in the yard. I hoped I died quick, that was all I ask for.

 

I was pulled from my crappy eulogy to myself, to hear the door from the kitchen open on the side of the house. I never thought I would be so happy to see Luke coming out the door, Chris behind him, both with rifles in hand.

 

“Thank fuck. Do you have the keys?” I say frantically.

Both men stopped in front of me, looking to each other. _Fuck. Well I guessed neither of them had the keys._ “Sara obviously failed to mention she had the keys” I said getting back up to my feet. “Well?” I huffed angrily to both of them, glancing back to the walkers, a few of which were making their way towards us. “Give me your gun and go grab an axe from the barn” I say to Chris, holding out my hand for the weapon. He instantly looks to Luke, who shakes his head. “Just fucking hand it over, I don't wanna die, so the longer you stand there the more likely its gonna happen. So hurry the fuck up!” I growled angrily.

Chris stepped forward holding the rifle out to me, I quickly took it, ignoring the looks Luke was giving to both Chris and me. I didn't have time for his bullshit now, he can reprimand me later, right now I was more concerned about saving my life. _And taking some anger out on Sara._ And by the looks Luke was giving me and the way his grip tightened on his rifle I knew exactly what he was thinking. I just shook my head, checked the magazine on the rifle, clicked it back in and took aim at the impending herd.

 _Fuck I missed this_ , I sighed inwardly. Looking down the barrel of the gun I found my first target. I squeezed the trigger and watched as the walker's head exploded. I felt great, it had been weeks it felt like since I'd been able to hold a weapon, much less fire one. It finally felt like I was back in control, like I was free. _But that was me being delusional and I knew it. I knew as soon as the threat was eliminated I would have to go back to having no freedom. And definitely no weapons._

“Well shit, you can shoot” I heard Luke mutter beside me. I ignored him and kept my focus on the walkers now making their way towards us. Shot after shot was fired, taking down the walkers.

 

 

I heard Chris racing back towards us. “Got the axe” he breathed out, “Keep your foot still, ok?” Chris demanded from behind me.

“Yeah, yeah” I grunted, not looking away from the barrel of the gun.

I continued to shoot walkers, as did Luke. I could also hear gunshots from around the compound but I wasn't about to stop and check, as long as the bullets weren't being aimed for me I was fine with it. I could hear Chris slamming the axe down hard against the chain, making it vibrate slightly against my ankle with each crack from the axe.

The walkers were now drawn to our gunshots, the prospect of a meal and the axe hitting the chain adding extra incentive to come our way. I fucking hated every minute of it, as more walkers were attracted to all the noise. I just wanted to be free from the shackles and back inside so I could go strangle Sara. My anger was still seething for her. I'm sure she wouldn't so much as get a slap on the wrist for her actions, she'll plead she was fleeing for her life and there was no time to free me, so she ran. Well I knew different. And that fucking smirk. I couldn't get that out of my head either, that was the icing on the cake and fully cemented her being six feet under. _Well maybe just a bullet to the brain, not wasting a single second digging a fucking grave for the bitch._

 

I noted now that the herd was thinning by earlier comparison thankfully. But we weren't out of the woods yet. There were still more than enough to cause damage and loss of life. At that very thought I heard the screams from one of the men across the yard, several walkers surrounded him, taking him to the ground as more crowded round to feast on his flesh. I swallowed back the bile threatening to rise and again took aim, taking out two in quick succession that were feasting on the now dead man.

 

 

“I got it. You're free! Let's get outta here!” Chris said in a panicked voice.

Shooting another walker in the head, I looked down at the chain, it was indeed separated.

“Run for the back door at the kitchen!” Luke ordered.

“Fuck that, there's only a handful of these bastards left and we need to block that hole in the fence or we'll be dealing with this shit all night” I exacerbated. _Yer' bein' fuckin' reckless again!_ Daryl's voice sounded in my head. I couldn't help the smirk. I could just see him ordering me back to the house while he dealt with this problem, only I would roll my eyes and follow him out there anyway. Like he knew I would.

 

“I said get back in the fucking house woman!” Luke seethed.

“There's...what? Twenty walkers left?” I said looking round the yard. “If we get one of the vehicles, drive it outside the gates, line it up against the hole in the fence, we could repair it from the inside without risk of one of them bastards trying to eat us while we do it. And right now,” I turned taking aim at the walker moving towards us, watching it drop to the ground as I shot it, turned back to Luke, “Right now we need to take care of them” I motioned towards the walkers, mostly surrounding the house, only a few were stumbling our way.

Luke looked at me stunned. “If I was going to shoot you that would have been the first thing I did” I rolled my eyes. _In truth, I'd had to fight that feeling so much since Chris handed the weapon over. If I knew I could escape this place without repercussions following me I would have shot him, regardless of the impending walkers coming up on us. Some people just deserved to die. Plain and simple._ So I pretended I wanted him alive, for now. He, stupidly, believed my answer, nodding at me.

 

 

With the help from the other men who were also taking care of the threat we managed to eliminate all the walkers in the yard. More had since surrounded the fences and would also need to be dealt with, as we didn't want a repeat of earlier. One walker break-in was more than enough. Next time I might not be so lucky. Chris drove one of the vehicles out of the gate and aligned it next to the fence, effectively blocking the hole for now. While someone could get to patching it up.

 

As Chris came back through the gate, breathing heavily and coming straight towards Luke and me. I had refused to go inside till I knew Chris was safe inside the gates. Luke protested and I had thought about pulling the gun on him, but I decided to caution myself against such matters for now. Instead I had handed the rifle back to Luke, which seemed to surprise him and he relented, letting me wait for Chris to return. My ankle was still weighted with the shackle, which was more annoying than anything. As I waited for Chris to reach us, I took a glance around the yard, bodies were littered everywhere. More than I had expected. If we didn't have the adequate fire power to take them down, I suspect we would have ended up like the man did moments ago. Chris finally reached us, panting a little.

“The truck should give enough protection while we mend the fence, but I don't like the look of the rest of those bastards all sides” Chris mused while he looked around the property.

“Well first, _she_ needs to get inside, then we can sort out the rest of this mess” Luke grumbled, grabbing my arm and pulling me towards the house. _Back to his bossy self I see. Guess I had over-stepped a little ordering them around. Chris might not have minded, but someone else certainly did._

 

 

We entered the house just as the conversation was starting to heat up and just like that my blood was starting to boil at the sight of Sara.

“Where the hell did they come from?” one of the men asked.

“Why didn't you alert us sooner?” Kane roared.

“The trees they blocked them from our sight until it was too late, there must have been a weak spot in the fence, then they were pouring in.”

I could see Sara eyeing me now, she was standing behind Kane, I guessed she thought she needed a few barriers between her and I. _Too fucking right she did._

 

I started stalking towards her, ignoring the rest of the argument that was happening between the men.

“You...You fucking bitch!” I screamed at Sara. She had the nerve to stand there smirking at me once more. _I fucking wanted to wipe that smirk off her face for good._ I started to lunge for her, only to have big arms wrap around me pulling me back. Chris was standing in front of me, a little frightened by the anger burning through me right now.

“Get her out of here!” Kane roared to the man grasping me tightly, who I was still fighting against.

“She fucking left me out there to die!” I angrily spat, glaring in her direction.

“Luke! Now!” Kane yelled again.

 

I was hauled off to my room, Luke grasping me tightly as I fought against him.

“Calm the fuck down woman” he growled at me.

“That bitch left me out there to die. She deserves to get her teeth kicked in for that shit!” I growled back. Luke only chuckled darkly at me.

“And what did you say to her for her to leave you out there?” he asked.

“Nothing. I told her to unlock me. That was it...Bet she's fucking told Kane some bullshit” I spat.

“I don't doubt she has” he agreed. His grip loosened as we walked down the hallway to my room, he let go once we were outside my door. “Just cool off for a while, alright?”

“Whatever” I grumbled, walking into my room, slamming the door shut behind me. I'd had enough of the shit here. Sara was the last straw today. And I was still fuming from that. I wasn't sure if the ' _time-out'_ would get me over the anger I was feeling. I was starting to pace. I needed to clear my head, and killing some walkers had helped somewhat but seeing Sara just made it flare again. But with the walker break-in earlier it would give me the best chance to break out of this hell hole. It was the distraction I had been waiting for.

 

 

A knock on the door, made me momentarily stop my pacing, my anger was dissipating for the moment. I didn't answer whoever was on the other side of the door but I figured who ever it was wasn't going to wait for my answer. Kane entered, closing the door behind him. I felt myself shrink slightly under his gaze, I had stopped pacing and was staring at the ground, arms folded across my chest. He was someone I feared even more than Luke, I wasn't sure what it was but something always had me on edge with him.

I glanced back up at him, he gestured for me to take a seat on the bed. I complied, not sure where this was heading, but I felt like a caged animal. And currently the animal was clawing at me from the inside begging to get out of this room. I watched as Kane took a seat on the chair in the corner. I inwardly sighed in relief, happy he wasn't sitting next to me.

“She said she feared for her own life. And you had said some pretty hurtful things to her, so she was getting back at you.”

I scoffed loudly. “Charlie gave her the fucking keys and when he left, she just smirked and skipped back into the house. She had fucking time! Never said anything to her either!” I spat.

“She was worried about the walkers”

“They weren't anywhere near us then, I mean shit, Chris and Luke had enough time to get out there and the walkers were still on the other side of the yard. Hadn't even noticed me yet.” I said exacerbated, as I clenched my fists at my side.

“She would never lie to me” he narrowed his eyes.

“Well aren't you just fucking gullible” I spat out sarcastically. My mouth was starting to run away from me, I needed to reel this in before I ended up in the basement. _Again._ Or ended up like Victoria. I took a deep breath. “Did you notice how I took control of that situation out there, didn't even point the gun towards either Chris or Luke. Had plenty of fucking chances too. But I did my duty, fucking protected all your asses, cleared the yard and had the plan to block the hole in the fence. Does this prove I'm with you? Does it get me out these fucking chains?” I gesture dramatically towards the shackle still cuffed to my ankle, the chain dragging behind it.

He waited for a minute before speaking. Clearly processing everything and wanting to work out carefully what he was going to say next.

“You're right, you proved yourself today. Even Luke is singing your praises but I would never take just his word on the matter, not when it comes to you. You cloud his vision. But Chris also is commending your plan out there. And if I hadn't seen it myself, I would have never guessed what a good shot you were...But whatever happened with Sara” he glared at me. He was taking Sara's side in the matter. _Devious fucking bitch!_ “It's over. Just stay out of each other’s way. I don't have time for a cat fight. We have enough shit to deal with” he sighed heavily standing back up. He reached into his pocket, fishing out some keys, he knelt, unlocking the cuff around my ankle before standing and leaving the room, closing the door behind him.

 

 

Chris knocked on my door a while later. I had since calmed down. But I knew what I was going to do next. Get the fuck outta here. And burn as much in my path as I can, leave nothing, well no one that can retaliate.

 

“Cleaned up the yard, most of the bodies are gathered up, few biters on the fences but they're being taken care of, Mark and Jack are patching the fence...” Chris tiredly said as he took a seat in the chair.

“Chris...” I said trying to get his attention

“That shit was crazy today, and what the hell happened with Sara? Some of the shit she's saying...”

“Chris” I said a little more forcefully, finally getting his attention he looked up at me. “I'm getting out of here...tonight.”

He was silent for a minute before he spoke. “It's suicide. You know that”

“Staying here will kill me just as fast. That _shit_ Sara pulled today, will happen again. I don't want to end up like Victoria. I want out before the shit hits the fan. Tonight's the best bet. Won't get another chance like this. They're gonna be too focused on the outside to worry about the inside” I reasoned.

Chris sighed heavily burying his head in his hands.

“Do you want in?” I ask.

He sighed again, thinking over my proposal. “We do this. We can't fuck up. Or I'll be dead right beside you.”

“I know that. I'm giving you the choice. But if you choose to stay, just let me go, don't blow the whistle, please” I pleaded.

“I'd never rat on you and I'm coming with, no way I'm staying here longer than I need to. You'll need my help to get out.” he smiled. “So how do we do this?” the smile gone and replaced with a look of seriousness.

 

 

We'd talked about it the last couple of days. We had a plan. And this time it had to work, there was no coming back from this plan. Surely third time's a charm, right? Now we just had to put it into action.

Chris's part in the plan was to take out the guard's in the watchtowers. And I was to work it from the inside, since I wasn't able to get outside. Men had free reign over the place. Woman were always second class citizens. Me taking the inside was probably the most dangerous, as it was just going to be me until Chris got back. I was confident I could do this, maybe over-confident but that couldn't hurt, right?

 

“I'll take care of Charlie, he's watching your door tonight...” Chris said lowly “while you take care of Luke. Once we have the keys to the armoury, we'll get what we need and then we both have jobs to do. Once I'm done I'll meet you inside...Ok?” he breathed, I could see he was nervous about my plan. But I knew sneaking out wouldn't be easy, I'd already failed once. And if we just up and left, they would try hunt us down and I don't want to keep looking over my shoulder for one of these pricks to turn up. It's better to take care of it now, as cold as it sounds.

“Rain” Chris smiled looking to the ceiling, “This could help me a lot, the rain will help drown out some of the noise.” I listened to the rain for a few minutes, thinking over the plan again. I wasn't doubting this plan, I was just nervous.

 

 

This part of the plan was something I was not looking forward to in any shape or form but for the good of the plan I had to make this work, make him believe it’s what I wanted. I shuddered at the thought.

 

I adjusted my top for the fourth time in five minutes, looking in the mirror at myself, I felt a number of emotions.

“You look fine” Chris said from behind me.

“I feel like a hooker” I grumbled.

Chris chuckled. “You look nothing like a hooker. For one you're wearing jeans and a shirt. Hookers wear a lot less. I mean I can hardly see your tits” he mused.

“It’s not the clothes...”

“I know. You know the plan. Once you're in there you're on your own. I'll be waiting when you're finished” he said stepping behind me. He lifted up my top at the back, tucking the small knife and sheath in the back, then dropping my top back down, he placed his hands on my hips and rested his chin on my shoulder, his eyes locked on mine in the mirror, giving me a big smile. “You're gonna be fine”

I closed my eyes, taking a deep breath. _Was I really in over my head? Could still turn back. No, I can't. Chris and I need to escape._

I stood at Luke's door nervous as ever. No turning back now. I took a deep breath and timidly knocked on the door.

“What?” Luke annoyed voice sounded on the other side.

I grimaced, if he was in a bad mood this could turn ugly in an instant. _Let's just pray it turns ugly for him and not me._

“It's Camille” I replied, standing taller, trying to put a smirk on my face.

I heard his footsteps as they approached the door, the turning of the handle and then I was faced with Luke, a shit-eating grin on his face. He didn't seem surprised I was here. _Arrogant fuck._

“And what can I help you with tonight sweetheart?” he smiled, his eyes looking me up and down.

I smiled as sweetly as I could. “Can I come in?” I ask. He leers at me a moment longer before stepping back from the door and gesturing me inside. _So this is what it’s like to be in the belly of the beast?_ I stepped inside, hearing him close the door and the unmistakeable sound of the lock clicking into place. _Shit. Stay fucking calm. This is no time to lose your fucking cool._ I turned around slowly to face him. He stood by the door still, smirking as he looked at me.

“So how can I help?” he asks taking a step forward. I don't make a move, letting him advance on me.

“I was wrong” I said quietly.

“About what?” he says taking another step forward.

“Chris...Chris just isn't man enough. I should have known he wouldn't be able to handle me. I need a real man” he said firmly, letting my eyes wander. _Granted he isn't a bad looking guy, if it weren't for his sadistic side and many of his other terrible qualities..._

“Knew you'd come to your senses sooner or later. But why should I? You were so quick to jump towards Chris...Do you know how much you humiliated me because of that?” he grunted angrily, stopping a few feet away from me.

“I know now I made the wrong decision. What do I have to do to prove it?” I said confidently, not looking away from him.

His grin never faltered, as his eyes again looked me up and down. I had to repress the urge to shudder in disgust. “I can think of a few things...” he said, his eyes growing darker. I smirked as he advanced on me again, this time I backed up till I was against the wall. He placed his palms against the wall, pinning me between them. _Definitely no escape now._ He leaned in closer, his face only inches from mine, his eyes watching me. I knew I had to make the first move and catch him by surprise but also giving him the illusion that this is what I wanted. _No time like the present. Fuck it, just pretend it Daryl..It's not Daryl though...Just fucking pretend!_ My inner monologue was causing the nerves to start up again. And this wasn’t the time to be nervous, I needed to focus.

 

I took a small breath to calm myself, closed my eyes and crashed my lips against his, surprising him as he stood still for a moment before he moved his lips against mine, pushing his body up against mine. I now was pinned to the wall, trying to will myself to pretend this was meant to be passionate and amazing and something I wanted...well it is something I want, but only as a means to an end. If I had other currency I would use it. It made me feel like I was a slut right now. And that's the thought that makes me freeze for a second.

 

He pulled back, panting, well both of us panting. I was grimacing on the inside at that thought.

“You sure you're wanting this?” he asked, one of his hands moving down my arm. _The most gentle he's ever been with me, how fucking ironic._

I guess I needed to _convince_ him more. _Don't grimace, just get this fucking over with,_ I scolded myself.  I knew my head was hindering me _,_ I needed to block out the thoughts.

“I want this” I said more firmly, leaning up to kiss him again, this time putting more fire into the kiss. _To be convincing._ I felt him smirk against my lips, he felt me giving into him. His hand found its way to my hip, massaging it roughly through the top, the opposite side to where _his_ marks were. _Those were only his to touch, nobody else's._ As his kisses became more demanding I mirrored him, feigning moans or whimpers of pleasure, which only seemed to spur him on more. He started kissing down my neck, one of his hands coming up to cup my breast, I let another whimper slip from my lips.

“God, you don't know how long I've waited to hear that sound come out of your mouth” he growled into my neck.

I smirked down at him. “Well quit your yapping and get to work then.” _Time for him to fucking submit._

He chuckled, leaning back up, taking my face between his hands and kissing me once again before pulling away. “Yes ma'am.” He went back to kissing down my neck, over my clothed breasts. I bought one of my hands up to the top of his head, pushing him further south, making him chuckle, he continued kissing down my stomach, till he was on his knees. His hands started to lift my top, instead of taking it off like I thought he would do, he instead ducked his head underneath, kissing and licking my stomach and round the top of my jeans. _This was my opening. It was now or never._

I kept my hand on his head, gently holding him in place. Both of his hands were gripping my thighs. With my free hand, I slipped it behind my back, pulling the small knife from the sheath Chris had placed there. Gripping it tightly, I slowly pulled the knife to my hip, still just out of Luke's eye-line. Now I was breathing heavily for a very different reason.

 

In one swift motion I gripped Luke's hair tight in my hand, pulling his head back, he was about to complain until he saw the look on my face. I swiped the blade quickly across his throat, slicing it open, blood gushing out, hitting my clothes and my hands.

He clutched his throat, the look of utter surprise in his eyes. Blood pouring through his hands. _Guess the fucker didn't see that coming._

“You should have known, you had this coming” I smirked down at him as he dropped to the ground, the grip on his neck becoming looser with every pump of his heart. I watched as he bled to death and I felt a small sense of relief. But I wasn't finished yet, there was still a lot to do.

 

I just stared down at his corpse, starting to feel the full weight of the situation. Now I was a murderer. I looked down at my hands, one still clutching the knife, the blade coated in blood, smears running over both my hands, and on my top and jeans.

 

I kicked his boot testing to see if he really was dead. A few more kicks and no movement from the body, not even a breath, I shakily moved forward, clutching the knife again. I knelt next to the body, plunging the knife through his skull and then had to use my boot to help pull it out. He was dead now. I searched his pant pockets for the keys but came up empty and then in the pockets in his shirt. Nothing. I stood frustrated, looking around the room. Only to see they were hanging on a hook by the door. _How could I be so unobservant?_ I scolded myself.

 

Keys in hand, I looked back to Luke's body. “Fucking deserved it ya prick” I muttered to myself.

 

 

I unlocked the door and peeked out the hallway, Chris was waiting for me, arms crossed across his chest. His head snapped up when I came through the door, breathing a sigh of relief. Then he looked over my appearance.

“You ok?” he whispered, “Did he hurt you?”

I shook my head. “I'm fine. Got the keys. Let's just get this done” I sighed closing Luke's door behind me.

 

Chris led the way to the armoury, which wasn't too far away and thankfully no one had bedrooms down this way, so we could go by undetected.

The armoury was not quite as impressive as I thought it would be. Sure, they had quite a few weapons, but in my mind I was thinking a lot bigger and all sorts of crazy weapons you see in video games. They variety they had were pretty standard, but beggars can't be choosers and I wasn't going to turn my nose up at anything they had. And there was more than enough to finish the plan and take what we needed after.

“You're probably going to need to change clothes” Chris said as he started grabbing at guns and ammo.

“Not much point. They'll just get bloody too. I'll grab a hoody or something” my voice sounding dead almost. I was shutting out the emotions, I knew this. But this was how I was going to be able to deal.

“Fair enough” he said loading clips into handguns. He handed me two, then some extra clips and a silencer. I shoved the clips into my pockets and screwed the silencer on. I tucked the extra gun into the back of my jeans, and check the other gun.

“What did you do with Charlie?” I ask.

“Dragged him into the vacant room next to yours” he said just as coldly.

“You ok to still go through with this?” I ask, a little worried about him.

He nodded. “We're getting out” he smiled. “Ok, the guys are in the main room playing poker. The girls are in the kitchen. And I think Kane is in his office. I'll take care of Jack, Finn and Dylan in the watchtowers. I doubt anyone else will be out there now that its raining, but if there are I'll take care of it. If you're done before me, wait for me in my room. If I don't come back you get the hell out of there, ok? I mean it, don't come looking. Just get out.” he said looking into my eyes, holding my cheek. I nodded again. “Good, ok.” he breathed letting me go.

 

I watched Chris go towards one of the back doors, looking back once to me, nodding at me before he disappeared around the corner. I took a deep breath, gripping the gun in one hand, clenching my fist with the other and took a step forward. It all started to become like I had tunnel vision from then on.

First, I would go to the kitchen, the bitches needed to go first. They were the ones who were most likely to scream and blow the whole operation out of the water. I would have liked to leave Molly be, she hadn't done anything to me, not like Sara. But finding Mark dead, would be all she needed to go all banshee on me. So, she had to go.

 

 

I listened at the door and could hear them both chatting inside. I burst through the door making Molly drop the bag of vegetables she was carrying. Both turning to face me, both shocked as they took in my appearance. I had forgotten to grab a hoody, whoops.

**Bang!**

I quickly pulled the trigger, watching Molly fall in a heap to the floor. Sara was backing up. She was looking for a way out. But that wasn't going to happen.

“You fucking traitor!” she growled at me.

**Bang! Bang!**

I shot twice, hitting her in the stomach, she clutched at the wound as her hands started to turn red with blood, dropping to her knees. As I walked over to her, she tried to crawl away from me, she wasn't going to get very far. I watched as she tried to crawl away, gurgling because of her wounds. As I approached she turned over, facing me, hands in the air surrendering.

“Please...” she pleaded.

I shook my head.

**Bang!**

Then put her out of her misery. I would have liked her to suffer more but I didn't have the time. And torture wasn't something I wanted to enjoy. She too just needed to be gone. And now she was. Two down...

 

 

Next door the men were playing poker, I could hear them from here. If I didn't have a silencer the plan would have gone to shit. But none of the men were coming. Luck was finally on my side.

 

 

It happened so fast, it felt like everything was on fast-forward. I stood there alone, surrounded by blood, feeling no emotion, hearing no gunshots as I replayed how it all happened in my head.

Walking into the room, I held the gun raised. Mark turned in his seat at my entry. He was the first to die and I felt the smirk on my face as his head hit the table. One of the men, Kirk I think his name was, fired two shots in my direction. One just skimming the side of my forehead. I felt the sting, then put a bullet in his head, watching him drop to the floor. I started shooting, not all the shots direct hits, some hitting shoulders or stomachs. I had unloaded almost an entire clip, taking out the men playing poker. I could hear one of the men still alive, choking on his own blood. Walking over, I unloaded the empty clip, dropping it to the floor, and put another clip in. I stood over his body, he reached up towards me. I held no mercy at this moment and put a bullet between his eyes. I made sure to do the same to the rest of the men. Last thing I needed was for them to turn. Sure, they deserved to turn into one of them but I had enough hazards in my way without adding more damn walkers to the mix. I stood there a little numb, looking down at the five dead men.

 

 

I was pulled from my haze when I heard the door opening, I instantly turned to face the door, gun pointed to whoever was entering. I breathed a sigh of relief and lowered the gun as I saw Chris enter. He was a little wet from the rain outside, any traces of blood had been washed away from him. _Lucky for him._ I'm sure I looked somewhere in the range of _Carrie._

“Shit are you ok?” he asked as he wiped his thumb across my forehead, blood staining his fingers.

“Yeah it’s just a graze.” I said batting his fingers away, wiping the blood on my forehead.

“It’s all taken care of outside. Who's left?” Chris asked, checking his gun, reloading another clip.

“It's only Kane left. Everyone else is...dealt with. We need to find him and find him fast, he can't escape. I said it before I'm not looking over my shoulder forever” I said placing one of the guns into the back of my jeans. I looked down at my hands, now stained with blood and starting to shake. _Can't lose my nerve now._

“We're doing what we need to survive” he said tilting my chin up to look at him. All I could manage was to blindly nod. “We should split up, you downstairs, I'll take upstairs. Yell if you need me, I'll come running”

“I don't think we should split up just now” I say shakily.

“Trust me, remember” he smiles at me. It’s that damn smile I can't help but give in. I nod and sigh.

“Yell if you need me, ok?” he says before he starts to make his way out of the room towards the stairs. I hated this idea of splitting up. I don't want either of us to be caught off guard. But now I was alone.

 

First place I would look would be Kane's office. I thought it would be the best bet in finding him. Luke had let slip once that Kane liked to spend late nights in his office pouring over maps and sorts.

Of course, as my luck seemed to be waning, he wasn't in the office. I started to double back towards the stairs, go after Chris. Hopefully he had found him.

 

 

I heard the loud crashing coming from upstairs, I knew it had to be Chris and he had found Kane. _Shit._ I took off towards the stairs, dodging round the dead body of Charlie laying on the floor. Can't say I felt any guilt about him being dead either. Sure, he hadn't been as sadistic as Luke but if given the chance he would have liked to try. I think it was more to do with Ana dying, and I would be the perfect punching bag. It would have been therapeutic for him, instead of a turn on, like it was for Luke. _Yeah, they both deserved it._

Running up the stairs I started to slow down I could hear the arguing going on from inside. I knew what to expect next now.

 

“Kane, please! I found everyone dead. Charlie was dead outside her door, Luke's throat slit in his own room. You have to believe me! We need to kill her and make her pay for this!” Chris pleaded.

“You're lying! You've been cosy with her all week” he growled.

“She lied to me! Tried to get information out of me, tried to seduce me into giving it up. She's a fucking snake!” Chris spat angrily. “Let me finish her boss, she's been nothing but a fucking cock tease. All false promises. She nearly fucking killed me trying to escape my clutches, Whacked me over the head with a chair. See...” Chris paused, I assumed he was showing Kane a hand covered in blood, “She deserves to die for that and everything else she has done” he sneered.

“She was too prude for even Luke efforts, and how he fucking tried. I always suspected her submission was false” Kane mused.

“And now she killed Luke, she needs to die slow for her betrayal! I had nothing to do with what's happened. I swear to you” Chris reasoned.

“Well we need to find her and deal with her” Kane grunted, I could hear him pacing from behind the door. He was angry. _Fair enough, I just went all serial killer on his people._ “ **You** are going to kill her to prove your loyalty to me” he seethed.

“I wouldn't have it any other way” Chris smiled.

 

This was my cue to enter. Better put them out of their misery. I pushed open the door with one hand, the gun tightly clutched in the other, finger on the trigger. I couldn't help the smirk on my face. Kane took a second as he glanced over my appearance, blood covered my clothes. I had an inkling on what I looked like, hadn't had a chance to look in a mirror yet but I didn't need to see it just yet. My nerves would falter otherwise.

“Oh c'mon now Chris, don't be like that” I said in a sickly-sweet voice, smirking over the barrel of the gun.

“You bitch, you think you can frame this on me? Well sweetheart, ain't gonna happen. Kane knows you were a deceiving bitch!” Chris spat.

“Oh you wound me Chris” I roll my eyes at him.

“Enough!” Kane yelled. “Chris grab her, so we can finish this” he smirked back at me.

Chris made a step forward, I turned the gun towards him. I tutted at him. “Stay right where you are Chris. This hasn't got anything to do with you. You know he doesn't give two shits about you, he'll kill you after he's done with me. Side with me and I'll even let live after I put a bullet between this prick's eyes. My quarrel is not with you. Only him.” I said my eyes flicking slowly between both the men. Chris stopped in his tracks hesitating.

“What the fuck are you waiting for, get her!” Kane bellowed.

Chris advanced on me again, his smile turning salacious. I turned my gun to him, pulling the trigger. Nothing happened just a silent click.

**Click! Click! Click!**

“Shit” I cursed. _How the fuck could it be empty?_ I heard Kane laugh from the other side of the room.

“Guess you're shit out of luck now bitch. Fucking finish it Chris!” Kane roared.

I went to reach for the gun tucked into the back of my jeans but Chris beat me to it, gripping my arm painfully, smacking me hard across the cheek for my attempt on his life. He quickly reached for the guns, knocking the one in my hand out, it dropping to the floor. He took the other gun out, flicking the safety off and pushing the barrel up against my neck. The grip on my arm tightening again, making me wince under the pressure.

“Fucking cunt, you're gonna pay for all this, but first we're gonna make you wish you were dead” Kane said reaching for his belt, starting to undo it. I knew the look in his eyes. But I knew it wouldn't last for long.

“So, are you going to tell him, or am I?” I arched an eyebrow back at Chris. He looked at me confused, pressing the gun against me again.

I sighed heavily. “Knew you were gonna pussy out on this. Chris may be obedient but the balls on this kid, non-existent” I laughed. “Would have tried Luke for this but he's far too fucking unstable as we both know.”

“Fuck off, I never did anything for you!” Chris growled, the barrel digging hard into my neck.

“What was he supposed to do?” Kane inquired, narrowing his eyes, looking to Chris who was shrinking under Kane's eyes.

“He took out all the men on the watchtowers, bought me back the guns to prove it. So just so we're clear, he's been a big help.”

“I didn't do any of that. Just made you think I did. And you thought I was gullible.” he laughed at me. “You thought all you had to do was shake your ass and I'd come running. Well I'm gonna make sure you're begging for something tonight” he sneered.

“Just make it last. I have some unfinished business with her” Kane ordered, lowering his gun and folding his arms across his chest, smirking in my direction.

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. I knew the next move. I remembered the conversation so clearly.

 

_“Just remember, act like you had no idea this was happening, and you found everyone dead and you came running to him. He'll believe that. He's sympathetic to his men. Just call me names, say I betrayed you and then when he drops his guard, we kill him. But you only injure him, I need him to suffer. I know it sound cruel, like Luke, but this fucker needs to know and I want to rub a little salt in the wound before I put a bullet between his eyes.” I said to Chris. He was hesitant but he understood. He knew why I wanted my revenge. He'd never had the treatment I'd had, he was a man and I was not._

“Time's up” Chris whispered in my ear. Kane looked on smirking at how uncomfortable I was. Then his face turned confused. I couldn't stop the smile appearing on my face. I felt the grip on my arm behind my back, loosening, a few taps to my back. It happened so fast then, Chris quickly removed the barrel from my neck and pointed it towards Kane pulling the trigger once, shooting him through the knee, his gun falling from his hand and sliding away from him, he dropped to the floor in agony. Chris released me and walked over to Kane, stepping on his hand which was reaching for the knife in his sheath. Chris tutted at him and then looked to me and nodded. He had the gun pointed at him, waiting for my next move. I walked over to where Chris had dropped my other gun and picked it up. I flicked the safety off.

“Finish this” Chris said quietly to me.

“Guess I forgot the safety before, whoops” I smiled at Kane.

He was positively seething right now. “You fucking traitors! I'll fucking kill both of you!” he yelled.

I shook my head. “You're forgetting your place Kane. You had this coming. And you don't have any cards left to play. You're gonna die so just fucking accept it” I sighed pointing the gun towards him.

“You fucking ruined everything. I knew you were trouble the day Luke dragged you back here, should have slit your throat then” he grunted through the pain, Chris stepping down harder on his hand.

“You're right you should have” I smirked, pulling the trigger.

 

**Bang! Bang!**

Kane froze momentarily, his eyes fixed on me in horror, a growing amount of red coming from his chest. I made sure not to kill him right away, hitting a lung. I needed him to suffer. Chris stayed where he was, his eyes fixed on Kane, the gun still pointed at him. I felt the tears start to well up, the heaviness of the situation starting to come into the light. I pushed them back, drinking in the anger once again. I needed to finish this.

 

Kane was holding his chest, his knife forgotten beside him, blood still flowing out the wounds. He coughed and spluttered, blood starting to drip out his mouth. I'd hit a lung, he was bleeding internally. _Good._ I walked slowly over to Kane, loading another clip into the gun. He tried to move away seeing me approach but was held firmly in place by Chris. I smirked. _Blood was staining the water._ _I smelt the blood. I smelt the fear in the air. I quite liked being the shark. Cue the jaws music, I thought sadistically._

“Fucking...b-bitch” he coughed.

“Fair call” I said with a sadistic smile. “You know it was me who killed your _pet._ She begged and pleaded for her life...” I taunted.

“Fucking bitch! Should h-have fucking killed y-you, knew you'd be trouble” he coughed again, more blood splattering his cheeks.

“You should have. Lesson learned too late, huh?” I said pointing the gun to his head.

**Bang!**

And then pulling the trigger I watched as blood pooled from his new wound. This time fatal and for good. I stared at this lifeless body for a few seconds before all my emotions started to well up to the surface. Chris rushed over taking my face in his hands inspecting the split lip he had inflicted.

“Fuck, I'm sorry, didn't mean to hit ya that hard” he winced.

“I'm fine Chris. Had worse remember?” I shrug out of his hold.

“I'm allowed to worry about ya” he said pulling me against his chest and wrapping his arms around me. I felt myself fall apart at that minute. I'd killed people and that disturbed me more than anything. It was different killing walkers, they weren't _human_ anymore. I felt no remorse when I put a bolt, a knife or a bullet through their skulls. The only time I tensed up around walkers were if they used to be children. It’s something you just shouldn't have to see or do. Flashes of the family hanging in the barn crossed my mind.

 

Chris held me till my tears subsided.

“I was worried for a second when I came up the stairs you really were gonna go with Kane” I mumbled against his chest.

He pulled back and looked me straight in the eyes, “No fucking way. Weren't nothing there to consider. Plus, you look much better than he ever did” he smirked.

“Don't flirt with me, I'm far too old for you” I rolled my eyes. This was what I liked about our friendship, he always knew how to make me smile. Even if he likes to see how far he can push it sometimes. He knew about Daryl, knew that's where I'd be heading after this and he was happily going to tag along for a bit before going to find his family.

“Hardly, you're only five years older than me!” he scoffed.

 

 

“First, we need to double check all the bodies, make sure none of 'em give us any surprises, then we'll clean ourselves up because darlin' you look like you've been swimming in blood all night. Then we'll get our shit together, get supplies and get the fuck outta here. Sound like a plan?” Chris asked hopefully.

I smiled and nodded.

 

 

I'd also done the maths several times in my head, just to make sure there wasn't someone lurking in a closet about to attack but we made the rounds and had no hidden surprises. They were all dead. Every one of them. And now it was just Chris and me. We survived. And it was hard to wrap my head around. So much had happened. But now I could go back to family. _Finally._

 

I had a plan, sort of. Food, fuel, weapons and ammo, water, clothes, medical supplies, a tent and anything else that would be useful. _You know, just the basics._

While being here at Camp Nazi I had never stopped observing everything, even down to where they kept their towels. I figured if I got the chance to steal what I needed before I escaped it would be handy to know where everything was kept. And anything else I would just need to scavenge. We were only taking the essentials anyway, not like we had unlimited space with the vehicle we were taking. _My first grand theft auto, would you believe?_

 

They had several trucks to choose from, some were too big, some too small. Had to find the goldilocks. The one I ended up picking was a silver four door truck, no canopy on the back but its one advantage that was the decider was the back seat. It flipped up and had a hidden compartment. I instantly knew that's where we would be stashing all the weapons. Chris wasn't fussy and said I could have my pick of them. He said he would find another vehicle later on to find his family if needed.

 

 

Going back inside I went to my room, Chris following me. I think he was just making sure I was safe. I grabbed clean clothes and towels and went to the bathroom.

“I'll start getting things together. When you're done come get me, I'll be in the armoury or my room. And lock the door too” Chris said, he was feeling the paranoia too. I nodded and shut the door behind him, locking it.

 

I undressed and started the shower, finally a warm shower. I hadn't realised how much blood was on me till I was looking down in the shower. It was like that shower scene from _Psycho._ Finally the water turned clear. I quickly washed after that, and getting dressed. I needed to be out of this house, this place, and back to where I belong.

 

 

Chris was in his room packing when I went to find him. He too had already had a shower. He was currently packing some clothes and putting them in a duffel bag.

“Hey” I said quietly not wanting to alarm him.

“You all good?” he asked. I nodded. “Come here, need to patch that cut up on your head” he ordered as I sat on his bed. He fished through a small first aid kit until he found some surgical tape. It was a big gash and it had since stopped bleeding. He placed three thin strips over it to keep it in place.

“All done.” he smiled.

“I'll go pack” I said walking over to my room. There wasn't a whole lot in my room. I had acquired a bunch of new clothes, but other than that I didn't really have any personal items, maybe except the books Chris had bought me back. I was taking those, the survival one actually had some useful tips in it. Even if it had been a joke present to begin with.

I was rational with my packing, only what was needed, but enough that I would have a few changes, the only thing I packed more of, was underwear. It’s my luxury item as sad as it sounds.

I went to the bathroom next filling a backpack full of everything we would need, mostly first aid stuff, but I made sure to grab antibiotics and pain killers.

 

Chris and I raided the armoury next, filling two large plastic bins of assorted ammo and weapons. We stocked up more on ammo and limiting ourselves to only a handful of different weapons. I was sad they hadn't acquired a bow, as that would have been the first thing I took otherwise. Chris had insisted I take the only sniper rifle as he'd seen me shoot and knew I would get a kick out of it. I admit I was a little giddy about it.

 

Next was the kitchen, Molly and Sara's bodies still there. I just ignored them, walking straight past them not even bothering to look at them. Chris stopped for a minute looking over the carnage and said nothing to me. I wasn't sure if he was judging or just taking in the situation. I felt it was more of the latter. Chris started filling plastic containers full of water while I sorted out the food situation. I took anything that would be easy to cook on the go and had a good shelf life. I would have liked to fully raid the vegetable garden but they wouldn't survive the car trip, so we wouldn't bring any more than that. We took enough for two days. Dried, preserved and canned were our friends. I also grabbed a few other things that I could make work as well, like spices, salt, pepper and sugar.

 

 

As we started loading our gear into the truck I could see Chris had already placed some items in there. We now only needed to raid some of the tools and grab fuel, then we would be out of here.

 

The sun was starting to rise and I could see walkers lining the surrounding fences. They weren't bunched up and we weren't in danger on the fence caving in, but that wouldn't last for long. I was sure the walkers had heard some of the gunshots, Kane's death had been without a silencer. So the shot would have been heard.

We gathered as much fuel as we could, filling the tank of the truck and then filling a bunch of fuel cans. The truck was full now. The cover fit snugly over the deck of the truck. The last thing Chris grabbed was a small toolbox, placing that on the floor of the back seat.

We were finally ready to leave and I couldn't help but smile. We were finally leaving this fucking place behind.

 

Chris and I pulled the gates open, running back to the truck, then I happily sped out of there, leaving a big dust trail behind us. Chris sighing in relief beside me.

 

 

I gripped the steering wheel tighter. I knew it was a long shot driving there, and that they would still be here but I had to try. Right? I figured it was just over three weeks since I was kidnapped by those pricks. _Nearly a month? How could so much time have passed?_

The advantage of having Chris with me was he knew exactly where we were. He also knew of roads that were impassable or dangerous. We had laid out a map and planned a route the best we could, sure there were going to be some detours but we just had to stay focused and get my ass to the trailer park and back to my family.

 

I was shocked to find out exactly where we were. Hell, I wasn't even in Georgia any more. _That was a blow, I was closer the North Carolina border than I was to Georgia's._ Looking over several maps Chris pointed to where we were, it was in a national park in South Carolina roughly 350 miles away. Yes, my family were still one state away and one really long drive. And who knew how bad the roads were between here and the trailer park or how many walkers were between there. That was what worried me the most, we would have to detour past several big cities, not as big as Atlanta but definitely places I would want to stay away from. The cities were crawling with walkers, far too dangerous to go into, even if I had Chris beside me.

_It confused now that I thought about it, that the marauders had ventured so far for the prospect of women. Surely there had to be some closer, or had they “picked” through those already, I shuddered at the thought._

 

 

It had taken two days to get here but we finally made it. We were parked outside the gate to the trailer park. I felt the nerves start to pile up. I was so close. Chris and I exited the vehicle, both armed as we pushed aside the gate enough for us to get through. I took the lead, going straight to where we had camped.

 

We finally made it to where we had been camped, having to cut down several walkers that were wandering around. The three familiar trailers. A burnt-out patch where the fire had been and some empty cans lying about on the ground. It was hard to believe we had called this home for a bit. It felt like I was only here yesterday, not weeks ago. The vehicles were gone but deep down I hadn't expected them to be here. I doubted they would have stayed this long. I hoped maybe they had but I knew there was the possibility they weren't here. We started sweeping the trailers, one by one. Coming to the middle trailer last. The ladder still up against the outside leading to the roof.

 

Inside on the table of the middle trailer was a note:

_“Camille, I hope you get this, that you're still alive. It’s been two weeks. We waited for as long as we could. We're heading two towns west of here. It looked promising. There's some houses on the west side of town that are fenced. Find us. Rick”_

I felt my knees buckle as I feel to the floor, tears streaming down my cheeks. I knew it was a long shot that they could still be here. But if they were gone, was I ever going to find them again? This note was closer to two weeks old. That amount of time in this shit world is closer to months of time passed. I wanted to be positive but it’s hard when I realised my family wasn't here. And it was going to like finding a needle in a haystack to find them again.

 

 

I'd backed the truck into the camp site, facing out just in case we needed to make a quick getaway. I picked up the empty cans and grabbed some rope from the back of the truck. I made a make-shift alarm for the night. I was taking more precautions, regardless of having Chris with me. It would do for tonight.

 

Stepping back into the trailer again. I looked around. Nothing was left to show my family had been there. Not that I expected them to have left any personal belongings here. It still hurt to think they were gone. I walked down to where I had been sharing a bed with Daryl. I stood at the doorway and swallowed nervously. Nothing much had exactly happened with Daryl on this bed but it still felt like an intimate place or a place that held memories. _Sleeping next to him and him leaving in the morning before I woke up, even if I didn't know it was him that night. Having him tell me he'd rather have me with him when I had to go on watch._ And then there's more painful memories outside. _Having to decide to give myself up to Luke and the other men to save everyone else. Seeing Daryl fight so hard to get me to stay. Watching those assholes beat the crap out of him. Leaving and the last thing I saw was Daryl barely conscious on the ground._

 

Chris left me to my thoughts, knowing I needed this time to get my shit together and he probably didn't want to deal with a crying woman. Most men avoided those situations.

 

He offered to take watch for the night, even though I fought him on it, I was very exhausted. I had been up since some ungodly hour, relieving Chris of his watch last night and then I drove all day. He set an alarm for me for five, so he could get a few hours before we headed out. I gave him one more hug before retiring for the night.

 

 

I lay on the bed, staring up at the roof of the trailer, tired but unable to switch my mind off. I mostly thought of my last night at Camp Nazi. So much blood was on my hands now. And I wasn't sure how my family would take that news, yes it had been for a good reason. But what if my actions would cause my family to distrust me?

 

I'd been hesitant to sleep here for the night. In this bed, that I had previously shared with Daryl. I tried to steer my thoughts away from the gore and concentrate on the people I was trying to get back to. And the prospect of an actual bed, instead of the back seat was pretty promising. No matter how many memories it held.

 

 

My alarm woke me and I was surprised I had fallen asleep. I gathered what I needed and let Chris get a few hours of sleep in.

Watch was pretty boring. And I was thankful for that. Last thing I needed were a bunch of walkers coming up on us. We had the fire power but I just needed a quiet night. Just one.

Sitting on top of the trailer it reminded me of my conversations with Rick, I smiled at those memories. I missed those conversations.

 

When it was time to leave the next morning, Chris was already up, packing up the last of his things. He knew I would want to get moving as soon as we could. I admit I was getting more anxious as the sun started to rise but I knew Chris needed his sleep, so I let him sleep as I continued to watch for threats.

 

 

The town had been a bust, mostly filled with walkers and I couldn't be sure if Rick and the others had even been here, as the walkers mostly blocked our paths to where we needed to go. So reluctantly we turned around and decided to stop for the night, staying in the middle of an open field, a few miles out of town. I would have to go check again tomorrow and hope the walkers had dispersed.

 

 

As we set up camp for the night, both of us taking a seat, Chris broke the silence.

“Maybe you should come with me to Louisiana? My family would love you” Chris asked, knowing exactly what my answer was going to be. He was asking out of politeness, ever the gentleman.

I shook my head. I had seriously thought about all night last night but my heart was still somewhere in Georgia. I couldn't stop looking for them, not yet. I felt reluctant to leave the state again, at least until I knew for sure. How I would find that out could be near impossible and I was well aware of that. I'm sure my family realised this too. They would try leave a trail of breadcrumbs but all it would take would be a herd of walkers to disturb them and their trail would go cold. I knew this. But I wasn't ready to give up. No matter how screwed my chances were. Chris knew the odds too, it was the same deal for him going back to search for his family. He had to know, once and for all.

 

We didn't want to separate because it fucked up our chances for survival but we had to know.

 

“Ya know you're gonna miss me” Chris stated.

“Of course, I will” I scoffed.

“Gonna miss you ordering me around” he mumbled.

I chuckled. “I'll miss that too. I like bossing you around.”

“And if you didn't lust after Daryl, would have kissed you a long time ago” he smirked.

“I know” I laughed, rolling my eyes at him.

“What? You knew?” he spluttered.

“Course I knew. Ain't blind. Now that you've confessed your love for me, can we just enjoy the rest of the night... Am gonna miss you though.”

“Me too. And it’s probably a good thing I don't rock up with you, Daryl would probably beat the shit out of me.”

“Yeah and I would have had to step in and save your ass, so then he'd get mad at me for defending you. See what happens, you're getting me into trouble” I chuckle, shaking my head.

“I still remember the day that we _took...”_ both him and I wincing at the words, “you. When I had to come check you for weapons I remember him staring daggers at me” he laughed, making me smile, “He's one scary mother-fucker. Made me back down pretty quick”

“Yeah, he can be scary when he wants to be, the temper on that man...” I shake my head, thinking of some of his outbursts mainly at me. “He just wanted to protect his own.” I smile.

Chris grabs my hand, lacing our fingers together and squeezing. “You know if I could take all that back, from that day I would, right?” he asks a little uncertain in his eyes.

“It wasn't your fault. I don't blame you in the slightest” I smiled.

 

For the rest of the night we shared happy stories, well mostly happy, we just avoided talking about Camp Nazi. It was a place we both wanted to forget.

 

 

The next day we found Chris a vehicle, a truck similar to mine. We divided the supplies. When I questioned why he was taking the tent, he smiled at me and pointed to the back of the truck, he'd packed two, knowing we would split up eventually. And it was now I realised how organised he was, he packed two of everything almost, just in case I didn't find my family straight away.

 

“You can always come find me, if...” I trailed off.

“I know” he nodded and pulled me into a tight hug. “Find him” he whispered in my ear before he kissed my forehead and walked back to his truck. He tooted his horn once before leaving. Normally I would have scolded him for such an action but today he was off the hook for it.

 

I watched until his truck disappeared down the road before I got back into my truck driving in the opposite direction, back towards the town. Back to search for my family.

 

 

 

 

**_Two months later..._ **

 

I had stopped looking for Daryl, Rick and others a few weeks back. The trail had gone cold. I knew deep down they were still alive. But I couldn't keep searching under rocks. I had been weighing up in my mind whether or not to travel somewhere different, outside of Georgia, but my heart still wouldn't let me, not yet anyway. The note left for me by Rick was still in my glove-box, I was holding on to the memories of my family tight. There would come a point when I would have to call it quits for real and move on with my life. _Not yet._ There was a small part of me, deep, deep down that wanted to keep looking. But every time I came up with nothing, I either got really upset or really angry. It was usually the latter.

For now, I was content on living and surviving. I just hated being on my own again. I hated that I had no one to talk to, no one to watch my back, no one to keep watch while I slept, no one to argue with, no one to laugh with and no one cuddle. I missed Chris. I missed my family. But mostly I missed him.

 

I had come across one small group of people on my travels. I was out hunting in the woods when I came across their camp. I watched them for a while hidden in the trees, trying to suss them out, and on the off chance they were my family. _They weren't._ The group consisted mostly of men, they acted a lot differently than Kane's group had but I was wary of people. _Can't trust anyone these days. Except for family._ So after watching them for an hour or so, I slipped back quietly into the woods unnoticed and made my way back to my truck, no game in hand this time.

 

I was still driving the silver truck I had stolen from the marauders. It allowed to carry a lot more than I could on foot or if I had found another horse. And I had considered that option. That was a back-up plan if the truck up and died. Right now I was happy to have the truck. It served as shelter most of the time. I did have a tent in the back just in case. But hadn't needed it so far. I hardly ever found shelter in a house. Feeling too vulnerable and alone in a house. Plus, the vehicle held all my supplies so I was constantly paranoid about being robbed blind for my stuff.

 

 

I drove until I found myself driving a familiar road, up a driveway till the burnt-out farmhouse and the still standing barn appeared. I hadn't even realised I was near the area until the barn came into view.

I turned the truck off, grabbed a flash-light and my gun, screwing on the silencer and shoving an extra clip into my pocket. I could see two walkers slowly ambling towards the truck. With no remorse, I quickly took them both down. The gun had become the replacement for my bow. I really missed my bow. I had thought about making one but it would never feel the same as mine. I was holding out hope that I would get mine back one day. _Stupid idea, I know._

The pile of walker bodies from the last time I was here were still in the same place we left them, opting not to burn them in order to conserve fuel. _How long ago was that? Four months? Time has really passed by._

I knocked on the door to the barn, waiting to hear anything from inside. I knocked again when I heard nothing. I wanted to be sure. Nothing. Flicking the flash-light on and holding the gun in my other hand, I opened the door, waiting a few seconds before entering. I was instantly hit by the smell of hay. _I was just glad it was the smell of death._ I swept the barn promptly, coming back to the stall I had slept in with Daryl. Images from that night popped into my head. _His teasing way of checking for scratches. God I could have jumped him right then and there, if we'd had the privacy...No, I can't stay here. I can't deal with these emotions and feelings. Not when it comes to him._ I shook my head and headed back outside.

 

The air was cooler, the wind whipping around me. I looked to the sky to see the darkening clouds moving rapidly in my direction. _Shit. I'm going to have to stay here tonight. Wait out the storm at the very least._ “Shit!” I cursed to myself. Sleeping at the trailer park was hard enough but to then go to sleeping in the barn so soon, it was too much to handle. But having to wait out the storm instead was my only option.

After a night sleeping in the barn and waiting for the storm to pass I decided to move on from this place, it held memories and it felt like pouring salt on my wounds being here. I probably would have moved on right away, if the storm hadn't snuck up on me a few hours before dark. I was forced to stay. I had backed the truck into the barn and slept in the truck. I tried to listen to the wind and the rain, to lull me to sleep but my only thoughts were of my family and him. I finally fell asleep from exhaustion.

 

I did a quick sweep outside, before I drove out of the barn. Laying the map on the hood, I sighed heavily, trying to decide where to head next. There was a town about an hour’s drive East from here. I needed to scavenge some more supplies. I had more than enough gas, even if I had to make a detour but I was running low on food. And I needed to find some warmer clothes, it was getting colder by the day. Winter was at my doorstep now. I hoped it wouldn't snow. I had no plan for that. And I wasn't sure how sleeping in the truck would work out, if it would be warm enough. Winter's here were different to winter's back home.

So, taking one last look at the barn, I packed up the map and got into the truck. Heading in the direction of the town I had spotted on the map. Whether it held supplies or anything of value was another question. I would also be keeping an eye out for somewhere if I needed to bunk down for the night. Can never be too careful nowadays.

 

 

The town looked as barren as I thought it might be. I decided to avoid the main street and try my luck with some houses and maybe some of the smaller corner stores on the edge of town. Surely all the houses hadn't been totally ransacked. And if I was lucky one of those stores could hold a goldmine, well I'd settle for warmer clothes or food. Also, there were less walkers lurking around the edges of the town. Main streets always seemed to attract walkers, they seemed to congregate where you really needed to go, they were fucking annoying like that. They seemed to have that anticipation switch flipped when they turned.

 

I cleared several houses, looking for anything useful. I'd only come across two walkers inside the three houses I had searched so far. Searching alone takes a lot longer than I would have liked, having to constantly look over my shoulder and then continue search which ever room I was in. I was always on alert. And it was draining. I couldn't wait for the day where I could relax, even it was just for a solid twenty-four hours. I could sleep for more than two or three hours, a hot shower would probably be asking too much, but even a dip in the river where I didn't have to look over my shoulder would be nice. I swear most of time I felt like I was in auto-pilot mode, just doing what I had to survive. It was numbing almost. I sometimes felt as dead as the walkers. This was just my solidarity speaking. I had even thought about what it would have been like if I'd gone with Chris to Louisiana, he was always good company. But I was too stubborn to leave Georgia, just like he was reluctant to stay because he wanted to know what happened to his family.

 

I decided to head further into town, still a ways from the main street, to hit up one of the clothing stores. The town seemed to be quiet for now. A few walkers around but nothing that couldn't be taken care of easily. I parked next to the store in an alley, wanting to keep the truck hidden as much as I could. Parking it out front seemed to me like it would stick out like a sore thumb.

 

I was quick to search the store, finding what I needed fast, I found some warmer clothes and packed them into a bag and was ready to leave. The less time I spent in a place the better, this rule applied when coming into towns or housing developments. Walkers were always lurking in larger herds around these areas.

 

 

I had just rounded the corner when I saw a man leaning over my truck, rifling through my stuff in the back. His back was turned to me as he continued to pull back the cover. _Asshole shouldn't touch what isn't his!_ Looking around the street I didn't see anyone else, he seemed to be alone. I saw no pack or supplies or vehicle, he had a knife strapped to one hip and on the far side there was a glint of a weapon. I had to be silent and take him by surprise, to avoid a standoff.

 

I pulled the hood up on my hoody and stealthily made my way down the alley, the man still engrossed in his rummaging. I pulled my gun from the holster on my thigh and stepped in behind him and pressed the barrel of the gun against his back. He immediately froze. I clicked the safety off. The man started to raise his hands. Then I felt something hard being pressed against my back, just between my shoulder blades. _Mother-fucker! Should have checked the area more thoroughly before sneaking up on this man. Shit! Now you're gonna end up dead, all because..._

“Drop yer' weapon” he drawled, interrupting my thoughts and starting a whole new set of questions in my head. _No fucking way...I knew that voice...surely? It couldn't be?_

“I said drop it” he said pressing his weapon harder into my back. _That voice..._ If I hadn't been so frozen in shock and/or fear I would have pinched myself. He pressed the weapon harder in between my shoulder blades, my breath hitched. _Daryl..._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well think that last word will make a bunch of you smile! Definitely makes me smile, can't wait to get back to writing our gang! Yay Daryl! Now next chapter we'll get into their reunion. How do you think it will go? Do you think anyone will hold a grudge against her?  
> Hopefully the Chris outcome made some of you happy. I know some of you were rooting for him to die, but I think this works too.  
> As always will take reviews as bribes!!!


	36. Line in the Sand

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry to leave everyone on that cliffhanger, it had to be done, hopefully y'all won't be too mad with me for this chapter. Originally hadn't thought it would be this long but there's alot going on in this chapter.  
> Thanks to everyone who reviewed last chapter, love the niceness! Much appreciated!  
> Big thanks to nicki1954 and dominique1. Still floored by all the comments received from both of you!!  
> So there's a little bit of a Daryl POV to begin with, then its back to Camille.  
> Hope everyone enjoys!

**Daryl's POV**

**_Earlier that day..._ **

 

 

_Green clouded my vision. Focusing, I saw I was in the woods. Looked like the woods out the back my house. But it couldn't be? Could it? It seemed brighter, sunnier than the woods have been of late. I pressed forward, something urging me to move in a particular direction. Where to I wasn't sure. There weren't any tracks, so I had no idea what I was following. Just the urge to move forward._

_I caught a glimpse of movement to my left, somewhere further off in the brush. I saw the movement out of the corner of my eye but I could only see a fleeting glimpse._

_Shadows moved through the woods, circling me, stalking me like I was prey. I couldn't get a clear picture of what was hunting me. I only saw the briefest of glimpses as it disappeared behind a tree or a bush._

_“Daryl” a soft feminine voice whispered through the trees._

_Confused I turned in the direction the voice had come from only to find the space vacant. I froze waiting. No one was hiding behind the tree. Surely I was imaging it. The voice sounded familiar but it couldn't be. She was gone._

_'Know yer' out here” I growled to the trees._

_I felt someone approach me from behind, their footfalls making no sound, but a hunter always knows. They crept closer. I clenched my fists, just in case I had to defend myself. I could feel them standing right behind me._

_“Daryl” she breathed against my ear. Her voice..._

 

 

 

I woke a little stunned, panting slightly. It had been a few nights since I'd had a dream about her. My hands still clenched at my sides, feeling sweaty. That felt far too real. I felt like the hairs on my arms and neck were standing up. _Pull it together. It ain't her._ I scolded myself. I sighed heavily and heard Carol moving round in her sleep. _Better not 'ave woken her. Last thing I need is fer' her to analyse my fuckin' dreams._ I heard her settle, silently thanking god for her not waking.

 

 

I was up and out before Carol woke. I wasn't sure if she'd heard me last night. Wasn't sure if I'd said anything this time. _I hoped not. Really wasn't in the mood to hash out the meanin' of my fuckin' dreams again. Once was more than enough._ I hoped going to check the snares to see if we'd caught anything would clear my head, get it focused for today. _Anythin' to get my mind off of 'er._

 

The snares were a bust. All of them were empty except for two, one had already been eaten and the other was in the process of getting eaten by a walker. I hadn't seen any other walkers while I was out this morning, so I was sure it was this walker, plus its tracks had stumbled from one snare to the other, even though the snares weren't close to each other. _Bastard must 'ave stumbled across both of 'em. Just what we needed, these dead bastards’ takin' the food we really need._ With winter on our heels, game was more scarce. And it was frustrating as hell not coming back with anything.

 

Looking up to the sky it looked like another grim day, cloud covering the sky, except for the town several miles down the road, the sun seemed to be pushing its way past the clouds and shining down on the town. Maybe it was a sign. Maybe we'd have a good day and find something we're really needing.

This town had to have some supplies left. We'd checked the stores on the main street, those having been cleared out. We were running low on food and fuel. I'd been out trying to hunt the last few days but hadn't found a damn thing out there, game was getting harder to find.

 

 

Rick, Hershel, Carol and I stood around the kitchen table looking over the map. These areas which weren't scavenged were getting smaller and smaller. Constantly being cut off by herds was messing up everything. _Not that we had any control of it._

“Ain't been nothin' in the woods last few days. Think we gotta check the town again. Maybe stick to the shops away from main street” I suggested pointing to the map on the table. Rick nodded.

“We'll only last another few days with the food we do have” Carol sighed.

“Ok, Daryl and I will go check out the stores on the edge of town. You ok to keep watch?” Rick asked Carol. She nodded, smiling in my direction.

 

Just before I was out the door Carol tugged on my arm.

“You sleeping ok? I heard you last night” she said in a low voice.

“Yeah fine” I lied.

“You sure? I...”

I cut her off. “ 'm fine Carol” I grumbled walking out the door, after Rick. _Didn't need a damn pep talk._

 

 

“You really think there'll be anything in town?” Rick asked as I drove down the deserted road towards the town.

“What choice do we 'ave” I grunted, my eyes glued to the road.

 

Scanning the area, it seemed quiet. Wouldn't trust that though, never seems to last for very long. We had a plan to get what we needed and get the hell out of there. No need to stick around waiting for one 'em to show up. Food, that was our one goal. And if we found anything else worth taking we would, but it was food first.

Walking into one store it seemed to be cleaned out, only thing out of place were the two dead walker bodies lying on the floor, bullet to the brain for each of them. Thick dark blood was still pooling around the bodies.

“They're fresh. Someone's been 'ere recently” I noted out loud.

“I'll check out front, see if there's anyone out there, I'll whistle if I find something” Rick said heading off towards the front of the store.

 

A minute later he motioned for me to come up to the front of the store.

“See...there” he pointed to the alley way across the street. There was a truck parked there. Looked reasonably clean, no dust settling on the windscreen, that was a good indication it had recently been used. Maybe it belonged to whoever killed those walkers.

“We should wait, see if anyone comes back to it” I say.

Rick nodded in agreement and we both took watch on the alleyway and the surrounding stores.

 

Nothing. No one had come back to claim the truck. And we were waiting for about twenty minutes. If the truck belonged to someone, looks like they weren't comin' back. Hopefully we could use what they had. But we needed to be sure. Last thing we needed was to get jumped.

 

“Alright, no one's coming back for it. I'll go check it out and you watch from the store, keep any eye out?” Rick said.

“Not sure we should be splittin' up” I said still scanning the area.

Wasn't sure about us splitting up but the town had been reasonably quiet only coming up on a few walkers.

“If you see something, get my attention” Rick said moving towards the door.

 

Rick had seen the truck and from what we could see it looked to full of supplies. Rick was going to check it out and I was to keep watch. I felt safer watching from a distance.

 

Rick approached the vehicle, trying the doors, which all seemed to be locked, I scanned the streets again, just in case the person who owned it came back. Nothing, it was clear. He went to the back, lifting the tarp, then I saw her come out of the building next to me. She pulled on her hood and grabbed the gun from her thigh. _Shit. Ok, sneak up and take this bitch out. Simple, right?_ I kept my eyes on Rick as she started moving towards him. He hadn't noticed her yet. I silently made my way out of the store, crossbow up and crept up behind her. I watched as she pointed her weapon at Rick, the sound of the safety coming off, making Rick freeze. I hasten my steps, slowing to a walk behind her, aiming the crossbow between her shoulder blades and pressing in for effect. She freezes, I smirk. _Gotcha._

“Drop yer' weapon” I say with a bit of an edge and then pressing the crossbow a little harder. She's frozen and unmoving, my finger rests on the trigger, I speak again, “I said drop it.” She still remains frozen. _She couldn't 'ave been too smart, lettin' 'erself get snuck up on like this._

Finally, I hear the gun falling the ground. Upon hearing this Rick turns around, an angry glare on his face until he looks at the girl in front of him. His eyes flick to mine for the briefest of seconds before going back to hers, shock clear on his face. _What the fuck is wrong with 'im? Does she 'ave two heads or somethin'?_

“It can't be...Camille?” Rick whispered so low I wasn't sure I heard him right. _Did he say... Nah it can't be 'er. She's gone. It can't be._

And then I watched as she propelled herself towards him, all I could do was hold my crossbow still aimed for her. _It wasn't 'er. Can't be._ She dropped her arms from Rick and turned around, a huge smile on her face as I looked down the barrel of my crossbow. _How can it be 'er? She was gone. She left._ I saw Rick looking over her shoulder at me, a guarded expression on his face.

“Daryl” she smiled, she held her ground looking unsure whether she should move. Rick moved around her extending his arm slowly and cautiously, reaching out to my crossbow, asking silently for me to lower it. I huffed dropping it. She visibly sighed seeing I had lowered it. But the anger was starting to rage inside me.

“It ain't her. She's gone!” I growled, the anger forcing me to raise the crossbow again. _It ain't 'er!_

“Daryl” Rick grunted, stepping forward again. He looked unsure on how I was reacting. _Couldn't help it though, all my anger from that day, just boiled to the surface. How angry I was she left..._ I wasn't even looking at Rick anymore.

“It can't be her!” I growled louder this time.

“It's her Daryl” Rick said in a low, calm voice.

“Daryl, it’s me. I'm fine...” she whispered, she sounded scared. _Was she scared of me?_ She looked like she was about to reach out for me but seeing my angry expression cautioned her.

“I ain't dealin' with this shit. She's your fuckin' problem” I huffed as I began to walk away. I was feeling the need to bolt. I couldn't wrap my head around it. I couldn't believe she was there. Alive. She was ok. _How come it took her three months to come back? Or did she never intend to? Or_ _did we just stumble across her by accident? Too many unanswered questions from that day._

 

A lone walker stumbled towards me as I walked towards the car. With as much anger as I could muster I used my crossbow to smack into the side of the walker’s skull, dislodging the jaw. I hit it again, it fell to the ground. With the heel of my boot I caved the skull in. I stepped over the carcass and moved to the car, unlocking it, throwing my crossbow in the back-seat and gripped the steering wheel tight, my knuckles were white with the anger I was feeling. _Why th'fuck was she back? Can't go through this again. Fuck 'er! Should just drive off, fuckin' leave Rick here. Shit. Won't leave him behind. But she ain't comin' with us._

 

I started the car and drove the few streets over to where Rick was, angrily slamming on the breaks in front of them, both looking in my direction. _Hurry th'fuck up Rick! Let's fuckin' leave 'er here!_ I had to resist the urge to honk the horn. I may have been angry but I wasn't suicidal or that much of a complete prick. _Ok I may 'ave been a bit of an asshole, but fuck it, she deserves it for all the shit she put me through._

 

Rick talked to her for another minute before they both looked at me, then he continued talking, nodded and started walking back to the car. _Finally. Fuckin' leave this nightmare behind._ He got in the car and looked at me. _Fuck._ I knew what he was about to say, about to ask.

“Look, I know you aren't all too pleased she's back, that was clear. But I'm sure she wants to come back. She's been on her own for two months. Tried to find us but...” he trailed off.

“She's just sayin' that. Don't know why ya fuckin' believe anythin' she says...she was full of shit then and she's full of shit now” I grumbled, starting to grip the steering wheel tighter again.

“Daryl” Rick said, commanding my attention, “She didn't want to go, you know that. Fuck, do you know how guilty I felt on that day? They basically said choose Carl or Camille...she saw that choice too, so she made it easy, gave herself up to save Carl and everyone else, you included.” Rick sighed.

“Yeah well, doesn't mean I 'ave to forgive 'er. She made 'er bed, now she can fuckin' lie in it” I said turning the car around and making sure to speed off, hoping to lose her somewhere on the way back. _See if she can keep up...hopefully I'd lose 'er on the way back, don't 'ave to deal with 'er then. One less fuckin' problem._

I ducked and dived through the streets, making some sharp turns. I could see Rick beside me, clenching the seat with one hand and his seat belt with the other.

 

“Damnit Daryl slow down! I don't fancy being in a wreck this close to camp. Can we just make it one piece? Please?” Rick said, as he braced himself against the dashboard. I even saw him pumping the imaginary brake on the passenger side, I smirked. But I relented, I backed off the gas a little, sending a glare in the rear-view mirror back at her. She had kept pace with me, I had to give her that. Rick caught me smiling in the rear-view mirror, he said nothing, but I made sure to let the scowl reappear. _Hadn't even realised I was smiling._

 

 

As we came to where we were camped, I drove down the driveway, feeling some relief. I knew as soon as we were there I was taking off, go hunt or somethin'. Anythin' to get away. Everyone else can deal with her. _Not my problem anymore._

I put the car in park, turned off the ignition, grabbed my crossbow from the back and made a beeline to go inside. Rick wasn't going to stop me, he knew how angry I was at the moment.

 

Upon hearing our arrival, Carol and T-dog stood on the porch.

“What's goin' on?” T-dog asked.

“Who's the truck belong to?...Daryl?” Carol asked.

I ignored both of them, stalking inside. I went to the room I was sharing with Carol. I could hear her following after me when I hadn't answered. The others had asked what was going on when I had entered the house, but I had ignored them too. I dug around in my bag till I found what I was looking for. I stood and turned to see Carol standing there.

“What's going on?” she questioned folding her arms across her chest.

“Go see fer' yerself” I grumbled pushing past her.

She grabbed my arm, pulling me back with more force than I thought she had.

“What's going on?” she asked more pointedly. She wasn't gonna let me go, she knew I was worked up but didn't know why. May as well tell her, she'll find out in minute or two.

“She's back” I said looking at my hands.

“Who?” Carol asked confused.

“You know who I'm fuckin' talkin' bout. Camille. She's back. Rick and I stumbled across 'er in town. Don't know why she came back with us.” I grumbled and I still hadn't bothered to look up.

“Really? Why aren't you happy about it?” she asked squeezing my arm, getting my attention.

I reluctantly looked up. “Ya know fuckin' why” I growled.

“Daryl...You know she didn't want to leave...You can't be mad at her for that”

“She left. She left me...Can't 'ave 'er here anymore...Can't” I struggled with my words, avoiding looking at her. She let go of my arm finally. I took that as my cue to leave. I didn't need to hear anything else she was gonna say on the matter. But if she's here I can't be, not right now. Just needed to get some time on my own, away from everyone and how happy they were gonna be now that she was back. Carol didn't stop me this time as I walked out and stalking out to the woods.

 

 

 

 

**Camille's POV**

I'd watched as Daryl practically jumped out of the car as soon as he had parked it, crossbow in hand storming straight to the house, not even glancing back towards me. I knew he would be mad. I had expected it. So, I wasn't sure why it seemed to surprise me.

 

Carol and T-dog were on the porch and seemed to have tried to question Daryl about the new vehicle that had just rocked up behind Rick and himself. And by the looks of it he didn't offer any explanation. Both were looking towards me trying to figure out what was going on. Carol disappeared inside I presumed going after Daryl to ask why he was so rattled when he arrived back. I saw Rick approach T-dog and he seemed to explain what was happening. Rick looked back to me and motioned for me to come out and greet everyone. _Fuck, it felt like I was the new kid at school all over again._ I still had a death grip on the steering wheel which I didn't want to let go. I was nervous and slightly apprehensive about coming back. I wasn't sure how my family would react after hearing about what I had to do to escape. Looking back over these last two months on my own, I'm a little relieved I didn't find my family straight away. I think I would have been too broken to return to them so soon. I had needed that time to get my head screwed on _straighter._ _It definitely wasn't on straight just yet. I was better than I was._ I think I was also worried about finally finding them and then being kicked out because they couldn't trust me anymore. I'd hate to think what emotional state I would be in after that. I shuddered at the thought. Those fears were creeping closer, I'd found my family, well stumbled across them, they were within my grasp and I was on a knife's edge where it could go either way. I'd already decided on the drive back I would talk to Rick alone first, let him know what exactly happened. I trusted his opinion, maybe naive of me. But I wasn't ready to face the entire group with that kind of truth, not yet anyway.

 

Following them back I had been fighting myself the entire time. The closer we got the more nervous I became. Several times I had been close to slamming on the brakes and high-tailing in the opposite direction. Daryl speeding away like he did, gave me more than clear idea how he felt about me returning. I hoped he would change his mind and it was just the shock of me turning up that has him so rattled but I could be wrong about that too. A lot can happen and change in three months. I had changed that was for sure. I felt at times I had no emotion, like I had flipped a switch and just turned it off. I think in a way I didn't want to feel it, afraid the guilt, the anger, the sadness, the loneliness would eat me alive, as opposed to the walkers.

 

 

I stayed in the truck, frozen in fear again. _I wasn't ready to face them all, not just yet._ I could feel my breathing coming out more ragged and my hands were shaking against the steering wheel. “I shouldn't be here...I should just leave...he doesn't want you here...you're kidding yourself if you think they will accept you back into the family, not after everything you did. You're a killer...” my rambling monologue starting to get the better of me.

 

Rick had initially been so shocked to see me there, hell I was too. Daryl's reaction, well it was what I expected. I expected the anger, how long that would last, I wasn't sure. I needed to talk to him, and that was going to be difficult. I was sure if I stayed he would avoid me at all costs or confront me in such a manner that would instantly see me shutting down. I'm sure he'll probably tell me to leave and not return and that he doesn't want me here, which is exactly what Luke had spat at me when I had been chained to that wall in the basement for those three days after my second failed escape attempt. And I want to believe that its just his anger talking but I know there will the little voice inside me head telling me Luke was right.

 

 

I jumped when Rick had knocked on my window. I hadn't realised I had spaced out so much.

“Ya coming out?” he smiled behind the glass of the window.

I nodded, finally letting go of the steering wheel and opening the door and stepping out.

“Are you sure its ok to be here? I mean, is anyone gonna be angry? I shouldn't have come back...I can leave before anyone sees me...so much happened...I don't know if you'll understand...I should go...” I stammered nervously.

Rick grabbed me by the shoulders and made me stop my rambling, he smiled and it was genuine. “Everyone will be over the moon you're back. I mean it. Don't mind Daryl. I think its just shock, just give him a few days, he'll come around” Rick reassured me.

“You sure? Because I was pretty sure he wanted to run me over back in town and he was certainly trying to lose me on the way back.” I wasn't sure if I was fully convinced by that, not with his initial reaction or the drive here.

“I'm sure. Yes, you're probably right he was trying to lose you on the way back but he slowed down. So stop worrying. You're back” he grinned. I couldn't help but return the smile.

 

 

I heard the front door open to the house, banging against the side of the house. Daryl came striding out, the anger was there and it was as plain as day. He hadn't looked directly at me, more in our direction before I heard him huff and immediately taking a right and headed straight for the woods, crossbow in tow. I sighed watching him leave and disappear into the trees. He wasn't going to make this easy. _Not that I ever expected it to be easy with a Dixon._

“He'll come around” Rick repeated, squeezing my shoulder. I didn't reply, my eyes still watching the trees.

I heard the footsteps approaching, drawing my eyes away from the woods, to see everyone filing out of the house. The looks of grins and shock on mostly everyone's face. All eyes were locked on me. I swallowed nervously. Then it just happened in a flurry, people running over to me, excited and yelling my name. More people appeared, then I was being pulled into different directions, people hugging me tight. I felt the tears roll down my cheeks. Everyone was alive. Everyone was safe.

 

This moment felt so surreal. I wasn't sure I would ever get the chance to be reunited with my family. And now I they were here, standing in front of me. I knew that if I wasn't staying I could go knowing there were ok. I was dreading having the conversation about what happened with Camp Nazi. The questions were about to start. And I wasn't sure how I would answer some of them.

“Ok, ok, give the poor girl some room” Rick called from behind the sea of people.

Everyone seemed to obey, stepping back a step, giving me some room and I was now looking to each of them.

“I can't believe it” T-dog said with a grin.

“Yeah what happened?” Lori asked. And I now noticed she was starting to show, the hint of a belly coming through from her clothes.

“How did you find us?” Carol asked.

“Are you hurt?” Hershel asked.

“We tried to find you” Glenn said.

“I can't believe it” Maggie beamed.

So many questions to answer. “I'm good. I'm good now” I said with a small smile, slightly evading the questions.

 

I had noticed Carol was the last to approach and she was, well guarded was the best way to describe it. She hugged me and said it was good to see me safe. But I had a feeling her stand-off attitude towards had something to do with Daryl. _Great, just what I need._ Well whatever her deal was with me, I didn't want to deal with it just yet. I have enough on my plate without having to worry about Carol.

 

I looked back up to the house, Carl was standing there. He hadn't moved any closer like everyone else had. I guessed he wasn't the only one who was mad.

“He was upset when we didn't find you” Rick whispered to me. _Way to pile on the guilt._ Last thing I wanted to do was upset him.

“Does he think I wanted to leave?” I ask.

Rick and Lori both gave a short nod each. _Shit._ I didn't know how I was going to make this up to him. I vaguely remember making a promise to him on the day about doing something fun. But I had a feeling there was more to it than just that.

Carl gave me one more look before turning and going inside. I sighed heavily. I knew it was going to be hard coming back. But to disappoint the kid, it just made me feel awful. _Wonder if his parents would let me teach him how to use the sniper rifle...No, no, probably not the best way to keep in both his parents good books. No matter how many cool points I would receive for that._

“I'll go talk to him” Lori said giving me a smile. “and we are glad you're back and you're safe. Hasn't been the same without you” she said turning and walking back to the house. I did notice how much more she was showing now. _The things that can change in three months._

 

 

We all stood in silence for a minute, everyone looking to me expectantly for answers I was hesitating to answer.

“Hey, why don't I take Camille for a perimeter check? Show her the property?” Rick suggested.

“Sounds like a good idea” Hershel agreed.

“Um...sure” I agreed. I swear it’s like he knew I wanted to speak to just him about what happened. At least get his opinion on the matter before I opened up that can of worms to the entire group. I'd worked so many different scenarios in my head and nine times out of ten they always turned hostile and I ended up out on my ass. I wanted to believe they would give me the benefit of the doubt but I had to face reality that they may not like the truth. And I wasn't going to keep secrets from them. Secrets get you killed and no one ever comes off better because of them. _So consequences be damned, I'm a glutton for fucking punishment. Let's just get this over with._

 

I grabbed the pistol from the front seat, placing it in the holster on my thigh. Rick waiting for me before we set off to walk the perimeter. _Now all you need to tell him was that you went on a justified murder spree. Easy, right? Make sure you mention justified a lot, that will help. This is why you shouldn't say the first thing that comes out of your mouth, at least not when the word murder is present in a sentence. These pep talks were doing nothing for me._ I groaned inwardly.

“I'm guessing you're a little overwhelmed currently?” Rick asked as we started walking out to the fences. Thankfully in the opposite direction that Daryl had taken off in.

“Not wrong there Sheriff” I said looking down at my boots.

“And you were hesitant about letting us know what happened?” he questioned.

 _Freaking cop's sixth sense I swear!_ “Yeah. It's weird being back around so many people again. Only had my company for the last two months or so now.”

We walked in silence for a few minutes as I started to gather my thoughts. And also thinking of the best way to start this conversation. _Definitely wasn't starting with “So, I killed nine people”._

 

 

I took a deep breath and kept my eyes focused ahead of me. “Rick I gotta say I'm still in a bit of shock that I actually found you guys. I was always keeping an eye out but the trail had gone cold over a month ago. I think I was just drifting, too stubborn to leave Georgia, at least until I knew for sure” I said shaking my head in disbelief. _I'd found them._

“We stayed at the trailer park for almost two weeks, we searched in every direction looking for you but walkers made us move on eventually, more and more were coming into through the woods, so reluctantly we had to leave. I know no one was happy about it. Daryl especially” he sighed.

I felt my insides clench at his name. His anger with me was not going to evaporate just because I was back. But I had a feeling it was going to boil over sooner or later.

“I don't blame you for thinking I wasn't coming back. I wasn't sure I was for a while either... And well hate to say but the odds that you would have found me were pretty slim. It took me a while to figure out where exactly they had taken me and I was shocked to know how far they'd actually gone for their _mission_. Turns out I was about fifty miles south of the North Carolina border.” I watched as Rick's expression changed to shock.

“Shit, well we hadn't anticipated you'd be that far away...Fuck...” he breathed.

“Yeah...I guess they had depleted the _resources_ in their area. Travelling that far for the prospect of women seems ludicrous but they were. I found out they had been watching us for several days. They knew to use Carl as bait and a bargaining chip with us. They knew we'd protect him over one of us. And that one's on me that they had that opportunity. If I hadn't sent Carl to fetch the hatchets in your truck, he wouldn't have been used like that” I sighed heavily, all the emotions from that particular day were coming back to me in waves, only the waves were getting stronger.

“You don't know how much regret I have from that day. I felt like I let you down, like you had no say in the matter that I pushed you to make that choice. I should have done things differently that day” he sighs sadly.

I shook my head at him. “You did everything you could. I knew I was saving the kid and everyone else by going. Whether I wanted to go or not. I knew what needed to be done...” I sighed again, taking a pause before continuing, “When I tell you what happened, what I had to do to escape. I think it should you telling the group. I don't know if I'll be able to get everything out with everyone looking to me. Then you'll need to decide whether I'm staying or not. I'll understand if you want me to leave

Rick looked to me confused. “You think we'll want you to go?” he asked.

I shrugged my shoulders. “Well it wasn't all puppies and kittens while I was there. So, I'll tell you everything you want to know.”

 

I proceeded to tell Rick everything. About being drugged; my failed escape attempts; being chained or tied up; beaten regularly at the beginning; Camp Nazi's mission; Luke and his sadistic ways; my submission; Victoria killing herself; Kane's insistent questioning about my family; the walker invasion and being chained up outside when that happened; Chris and how he helped me escape; and everything that happened on that night.

It was a lot to take in but Rick kept quiet through the whole explanation, nodding and humming in agreement at certain times.

 

“I'm sure not everyone will agree to want me to stay. I understand what I did and why. It's something that will haunt me for all my days to come. Their blood will always be on my hands. If you and the group decide its best we part ways, I'll understand, well I will but I won't. I won't hold it against any of you. I mean if you can't trust one your own, how can they live with you?” I said with finality.

 

 

Rick being a cop, had his expressionless mask on, only reacting when the physical abuse was mentioned. He was focused on everything I was saying but I could see him thinking everything over as well, assessing the situation. _And me I guessed._ He never asked any questions, waiting for me to finish, then the interrogation part started. The first question he asked was if I was raped, giving him my answer he looked relieved. He was quiet for a few minutes, still processing everything I had told him before he started to ask more questions.

“Can you trust Chris won't come after you for revenge or anything?” he asked.

“I trust him completely. He didn't have to help me but he did. He didn't want to be there anymore than I did. The only reason he was with them to begin with was for protection basically. When they found him, he was on his own. I don't know what got him to change his mind but I'm glad he did. He looked out for me, getting me extra food and water, trying to protect me as much as he could from Luke without him ending up in chains beside me. Chris can be trusted if we ever come across him again. I'll vouch for him.” I glanced at Rick nodding.

“Do you want us to...let you go?” he asked quietly.

I shook my head. “After three weeks in that hell hole, I came straight to find you. Even though I knew you all had probably moved on from the trailer park. I still have the note you left for me in my glove box” I smiled, I was willing myself to hold back the tears, last thing I wanted to do was to look any weaker than I was already feeling. And I didn't want to guilt him into letting me stay. “I don't want to go but the decision has to come from the group. They deserve to know what happened and why.”

“If you could take it back, would you? Killing them I mean?” he asked with a completely straight face.

I swallowed nervously and shook my head slowly. “Honesty I knew if any of them were left alive, they would hunt me down and slaughter anyone I was with. I didn't want to have to keep looking over my shoulder for the rest of my life, fearing one of them caught up to me and if I found you and everyone else I couldn't bring that kind of burden with me. Some of them weren't as twisted and conniving as Kane, Luke or Sara but there would have been retaliation. I know it sounds cold and certainly the way it all happened doesn't exactly win me any points for a better case with you but I'm letting you know all the facts.” It was exhausting bringing up all these horrible memories up again. I knew tonight whether I was staying or going, I wasn't going to be able to hold the tears back.

 

“How were you...after you came to the trailer park?” he asked.

“You mean up until now?” I question. He nodded. I thought about it for a minute. Two months was a long time to be on my own. “Numb I guess. Chris was with me for a few days before he went to search for his family, so he distracted me. Once he was gone though, it was rough at first. Felt like I had to relearn everything about surviving. Guess I'd gotten used to having people around” I mutter the last part. “I was still recovering from some of my injuries inflicted by Luke, so I had to be careful. Ribs are still tender and my wrists have only started feeling better in the last few weeks. I don't think I managed to get more than a few hours of sleep a night in these last few months. Always paranoid, worried someone would come rob me blind or worse. Had nightmares a lot to begin with, but I guess that's trauma for you...It was tough, I'm not gonna lie but I survived.”

 

We walked in silence for a few minutes, I'd sneak looks at Rick, to try get a gauge on what he was thinking of the whole situation but he was giving nothing away.

“I know I have no right to ask you this but would you tell the group for me? What happened I mean...And then you all as a group can decide whether I stay or not. The reason why I wanted to talk to you alone was I knew you would almost treat this like you were taking a victim's statement, you would instantly switch to _cop-mode Rick_.” I said glancing up at him, still as stoic as ever. “I'm not asking you to make the decision on your own. I would like you to speak to everyone on my behalf and then all come to a decision. I'm sure not everyone will agree with what I had to do. Can you do that for me Rick?” I asked looking back up at him.

He nodded and I felt some relief, until he asked his next question. “And Daryl? Do you want me to tell him?”

“Well he hasn't exactly warmed up to me being back. And I'm sure he was trying to lose me on the drive back here. I have a feeling that I wouldn't get more than two words out before the yelling began, from both of us. I think he needs some space. So I'll keep out of his way, if I'm staying. I don't want to cause more divide in the group just because I'm back. I would have probably preferred to tell him myself but he's not ready to listen to me.”

“Yeah, I had to tell him to slow down, wasn't sure he was gonna listen...” he trailed off smiling to himself. I wanted to ask what he was smiling for but stopped myself. I think I was trying to shield myself just in case I wasn't staying. _Don't get too attached._ “Ok, I'll talk to them” he said scratching his head. I know it was a lot to ask but I think Rick understood where I was coming from and why I wanted him to tell them. He would give it to them straight and he wouldn't sway anyone into letting me stay. He'd stay neutral. I wanted to ask him if he wanted me to stay but I reckon he needed some time to think it over first. And probably see where the group lay on the issue.

 

 

“How does the truck run?” he asked as we started walking back towards the house.

“It’s been great. Considered finding another horse but with winter knocking I had decided against it or at least until it broke. And I could pack more so there was that advantage too.”

“Yeah I noticed there was a bit under that tarp”

“Snooping gets you in trouble Mr Grimes” I smiled. This is how I remember it from before. The fun banter between us both.

“And so does sticking a gun into someone's back” he countered.

“I thought I was toast when I felt a weapon being pushed into my back. I was yelling at myself in my head, saying how stupid I was for not checking my surroundings, then I heard Daryl...I swear my heart stopped for a few seconds, then you turned around. Dropped my gun in shock” I laughed.

“You almost gave me two heart attacks in that minute” he laughed along with me.

“Sorry Sherriff” I smiled.

“Ok well I think I better get this out of the way the sooner the better. You sure you want me to tell them?” he asked me one last time.

“I'm sure. If you or they want to ask more questions just let me know. I'll keep watch in the mean time and try to avoid Daryl” I added.

“Yeah that's probably best for now” he sighed before he headed inside. He looked back at me once more before disappearing inside.

I wasn't sure if I should be freaking out now and going into a panic or feel like I had a huge weight off my shoulders. Well there was no point in worrying about it just yet. For now, I would try busy myself with watch.

 

 

Watch was as boring as I had remembered. Although now I was watching for two threats, well three, walkers, humans and Daryl. Even with two months on my own I still hadn't worked out what I was going to say to him. I guess I had just hoped for the best, that he'd be over the moon happy to see me and nothing else would matter. _How wrong was I._ Well maybe I would be able to get more sleep tonight. I doubted that would happen so easily for me. I'll still end up waking up a few hours after I finally fall asleep.

And being on watch gave me time to think, **_if_** it went to shit I needed my next plan of attack. It could be a while before they reach a decision so my alternate plan would be to go back to the town, find somewhere to hold up for the night. Last thing I needed was to be driving around in the dark and run right into a herd of walkers before I could see them. Did that once stupidly and nearly didn't get out. I never travelled at night anymore. It was times like that it would have been helpful to have another set of eyes.

 

Pushing all thoughts aside of everything, I tried to lose myself in watching the surrounding area. Woods encased the fence-line encompassing the house from three sides of the property, a large open field to the left. It was hidden nicely. I wondered how many walkers they had encountered since they had been here. And how long they had been here. _Wow I really didn't ask any questions before when I was talking to Rick. Slightly inconsiderate of me. I don't think I even asked about how everyone was doing or where they had been this whole time._ I decided if I got the chance, if I was staying, I would ask then.

 

 

The sound of the front door opening, quickly bought me back to reality. The nerves starting to creep in again. _Why did he have that look on his face like he was delivering bad news?_

“Alright. Lay it on me, Sheriff.” I said taking a steady breath. _Stay calm damnit._ I growled inwardly to myself.

“I've talked to everyone but Daryl. He still hasn't returned from the woods. He should be in by dark. As for everyone else” he sighs. _Fuck._ “Talking with everyone, they are happy for you to stay” he paused.

“But...?” I questioned.

“But there are a few people who don't agree with what you did. They will just need a bit of time to realise you're still you, you're still family...I have to warn though, Lori, she doesn't agree and wants you to stay away from Carl” he said shaking his head.

This didn't come as a surprise to me. I thought she might see me as a bad influence on the kid and keep me separate from him. “I'll try stick by Lori's decision but I can't promise it. If Carl wants to talk to me though, I don't think I would be able to turn him away. I don't want to disappoint the kid again.” I sighed. “And you, if you don't mind me asking, what's your thoughts?” I ask cautiously.

“I think ultimately it was the right call. Though I don't fully agree with the end result. From everything you told me and what I witnessed that day at the trailer park, you did what you had to, to survive. And they would have been a liability if they lived.”

“But, the cop in you is struggling to come to terms with what I did? Right?”

Rick nodded.

“If you can't trust me, I'll understand. Its ok to let me go” I said trying to reassure him. _Please don't make me go though. Not yet._

“We don't want you to go, I don't want you to go. Just need time to wrap my head around it I guess.”

“Ok I can respect that. Well I guess I have something to show you then” I said nodding my head towards the truck. Rick followed me as I went to the back, pulling back the tarp.

“I was gonna share this either way. Didn't want you or the group to be swayed by free supplies, or think I was trying to buy my way back in. There's some food, not much. Fuel, medical supplies, guns and ammo are in good supply though.”

“I don't see any weapons” Rick said confused.

I smiled. “Back-seat.”

Rick opened the back door, moving the sleeping bag, then coming back out, looking confused again. “Um...you sure? Doesn't look to be any weapons in there.”

“Lift the seat up. Trust me. Only reason I chose this vehicle. Best hiding place ever!” I grinned.

Rick pulled the seat up and looked back out at me surprised.

“Told ya” I grinned. “Hopefully it'll make today's run into town look more favourable for you.”

“We found you, I thought that was a pretty good find” Rick countered.

“Some people would disagree with you” I said shaking my head.

 

 

I had pulled the maps out from the front seat and laid them on the hood, pointing to where I had been and where to avoid. Rick too pointed out similar locations on the map. I had been following them good for about a month before I lost their trail, then it seemed like we both went in opposite directions. And then if by some miracle, we found each other again.

 

Rick glanced down at his watch, “Well we aren't far off from having dinner and there's a spare couch inside you can sleep on” Rick offered.

“It's ok, I'm set up ok in the truck. And if its ok with everyone I would like to ease back into it, slowly. It sounds a bit claustrophobic in there for me currently. Just need some time to adjust... Does that make sense?” I scratched my head a little worried he might take offense.

He smiled. “Its fine. But if you change your mind, the offer is there.”

“Thanks Rick.” I said watching him walk back into the house.

 

I knew I probably sounded like a petulant child not joining them for dinner or sleeping inside. But I honestly wasn't ready to sit there with everyone looking at me. It would have been the most awkward and silent dinner imaginable. With someone trying to add some conversation, which would fall flat seconds later, I imagined that would be Glenn, I smiled. They needed time to adjust and so did I. I was used to sleeping in the back-seat, another few nights wouldn't kill me.

 

 

I was sitting on the tailgate of my truck eating an apple and reading the sci-fi book Chris had got me back in Camp Nazi. I'd read the book twice already, it helped keep me distracted, well enough to keep myself out of my head but not enough that I wasn't aware of everything surrounding me. And right now, I needed that distraction as all I could think about was the one person who couldn't have gotten away from me fast enough. _Ok, who was I kidding, the book wasn't distracting me at all._

My thoughts were interrupted when I saw Daryl coming back from the woods, crossbow slung over his shoulder, two dead rabbits in his hand. I tracked him as he moved across the yard towards the house. I hoped he had worked out some of that anger while he was out. My breath hitched as he stopped in his tracks and glared at me. _Well that will teach me for hoping too soon._ He mumbled something inaudible to himself before he carried on stalking back to the house, his eyes firmly looking to the house and not at me, that was clear. I sighed heavily, placing the book down and burying my head in my hands.

 

I was startled when I heard the front door open again rather loudly. I looked up to see Daryl storming over, my bow in hand. _Shit this can't be good._ I wasn't sure if I should be hiding out somewhere or stand my ground. And because he stalked his way over to me so quick I didn't have to decide, I was to stand my ground. Albeit while I was cowering slightly on the inside.

“There” he spat, shoving the bow on the tailgate. “Now ya got what ya came fer', ya can leave” he growled.

“Seriously? That's all you have to say to me after three fucking months?” I growled back with anger of my own.

“What the fuck do ya expect me to say?” he huffed.

“I don't know Daryl. Thought you might have been slightly happier. I know, naive stupid Camille for believing that” I sighed looking down at my hands.

“So ya just up and leavin' again?” he spat angrily. I felt like he was baiting me there and wanting me to get angry at him, maybe so he could justify why he was angry with me since he'd seen me this afternoon. But I wasn't angry with him, so it was hard to maintain any anger.

“No” I said quietly, the anger almost gone.

“Why'd ya come back huh?” he growled angrily stepping further into my personal space. I still hadn't looked up. Then I thought back over what he'd just said and found myself confused.

“You think I wanted to go?” I asked looking up at him. “I didn't want to...” he cut me off.

“If ya wanted to stay ya would've put up more of a fight but ya didn't. Ya just let them take you!” he yelled.

“I did it, so they wouldn't kill you for fucks sake!” I yelled back, trying not to let the anger control me. I needed to have a rational conversation with him, but he was making it very hard currently.

He scoffed, edging closer to me. “I had a plan and then you just handed yerself' over to them” he seethed.

Now I scoffed at him. “How many times do I have to say it, I didn't...”

“I fuckin' heard ya the first time woman!” he yelled back at me.

 

It was at this point I heard the front door open, Daryl immediately backed off and started walking back to the house. Rick was standing at the door, looking between the both of us, looking unsure who he should talk to first. I nodded at him, letting him know I was fine and he should go check on Daryl. Rick paused for a bit before he sighed giving me a weak smile and headed in after Daryl.

 

I looked over at my bow sitting beside me. As bad the yelling had been with Daryl just before I couldn't help but smile. This was one thing I was happy to have back. As I picked it up I noticed the cables had been changed and someone had been maintaining it. I'm sure I knew who it was, the only person who knew how to care for it properly. Not that he'd ever admit he did me any favours like that. Again, I couldn't help but smile.

 

 

Carol came out later on as it was starting to get dark, holding a bowl. I had expected her to come talk to me at some stage, although I thought it would be a few days later.

She handed me the bowl and took a seat next to me on the tailgate.

“Thanks” I smiled.

“No problem. Didn't think you'd eat if I didn't bring it out to you.”

“Yeah I was...worried and a bit scared of what everyone will think of me now. Also didn't to be stared at all night with awkward conversation around the dinner table.”

“I don't agree with everything you did. But from what I heard you did what you had to” she said watching me.

“Well everyone was gonna want to know what happened, so I rolled the dice and told the truth. Even though the truth doesn't favour me too well. I wanted to tell Daryl but...” I trailed off.

“Yeah, Rick and Glenn are talking to him now, filling him in on _what happened_.”

“Would have told him myself, if he wasn't so quick to yell at me” I sighed.

“He's just angry. He'll get over it. I hate to say it, but only in the last month or so he seemed to be getting better. Your return just kinda bought it all back for him. He was a mess when you were gone.” she said sadly.

“Well should I even be here then? Its more than clear he doesn't want me here. If he's happier without me here I should leave.” my voice filled with sadness too. I didn't want to leave but as I'd said to Rick earlier I didn't want to cause a divide in the group.

“Don't you even think about it” she chided. “As I said he's angry now but he'll move past it” she smiled. “The rest of us want you here.”

 

We chatted for a little while I ate, then she left to head back inside. Said she would check on me in the morning. I sat outside for a little longer before I decided to turn in for the night. Resting my bow on the front seat and making myself comfortable in the back. Sure, it wasn't no where near as good as a real bed but I was used to it. I just hoped I could get a few hours’ extra sleep then I was used to, for once having someone else keeping watch.

 

 

I woke up panting, sweat sticking to my top. It was the same nightmare. Same one I'd been having since I left that damn place. I had tried to escape again, tried to kill him, only he got the upper hand and then I was stuck in the basement, chained to that fucking wall, Luke telling me how my family would never want me back, that I meant nothing to Daryl. And then torturing me till he slit my throat. I always woke up just as the blade pressed to my throat.

This had been the first nightmare I'd had in four days, I thought I was getting better but I think after having to tell my story about what happened just resurfaced everything. I felt like I was back to square one again but this time I had my family. Even if I was sleeping out in my truck, granted that had been my decision. There weren’t exactly enough beds inside anyway. And I felt like I was intruding. _Fuck I still wasn't sure if I should still be here._

Not everyone had agreed with my actions, not that I expected it all to go back to _happy families_ if I found them again. I wasn't that naive, at least not on that.

 

I pushed all the blankets aside, unlocked my door and welcomed the cool night air. I was still panting slightly, the nightmare still disturbing me.

I heard the footsteps approach the vehicle and reached for my gun on the floor. I stopped when I saw Glenn standing there, rifle over his shoulder watching me.

“You ok?” he asked.

“Yeah” I nodded, “Just a nightmare” I breathed.

“Oh” was all he said, watching me for a while as my breathing started to return to normal.

“I'm glad you're back. Don't care about what ya did to get here. Just glad you're safe” he smiled.

“I'm glad you're ok too. Wasn't sure since I left you up on the roof of the trailer last time I saw you” I grimaced.

“Wasn't going to die from a gunshot wound. That's just stupid. Plus, you helped me. Slowed the bleeding down, at least that's what Hershel says. I only remember snippets from after I was shot. Like what you wanted me to tell Daryl” he stared at me.

I know it was dark and he couldn't see me, but I paled at that. “That, you remember?” I scoff.

“Didn't really get to tell him though” he sighed, “He'd shut down every time I bought it up. But now you're back you can tell him” he smirked.

“He ain't speaking to me. He won't even look my way. So how do you think I would be able to hold a conversation with him? He'll just end up yelling at me. It's best I give him some time to cool off.” I started to steer the conversation away from the topic of Daryl and talked about anything else. And it wasn't until I yawned that Glenn said I should try get some more sleep. It couldn't hurt to try. I know my body could use more than my usual amount of sleep.

 

 

I woke to find the sun had been up for a little bit. I'd managed to get a little more than six hours’ sleep, as broken as it had been. But I felt slightly better, for the first time in months. Which was saying something. And I don't think it was just the extra sleep I had acquired. A weight had been lifted from my shoulders and I had found my family. Now I just had to fix the damage I had caused. _Simple, right?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok so I know it's not the smoothest of homecomings for my poor OC, gotta let Daryl work his anger out a bit lol Oh and Carl...I kinda want to throw a scene in the next chapter about teaching him how to use the snipe rifle, maybe just to ruffle Lori's feathers a bit...very tempted...  
> Do you think she should have told Rick everything? Who do think disagrees with her decision?  
> As always I take reviews as bribes!


	37. Howlin' For You

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So you know how a few chapters ago I said I probably wasn't going to do anymore long chapter....guess I lied. But I think it'll be all worth it. I couldn't stop writing  
> And a big thanks for comments on the last chapter, love the niceness as always!  
> And am curious to know what everyone will think about me heading into Season 3 soon? Not sure when but I'm thinking soon.  
> As always.....Enjoy!!!!

**_Six weeks earlier..._ **

****

 

Chris had left on his search about a week and half ago. I'd gone back to trailer for another day before moving on again. Following the trail. I was trying to be upbeat about the whole thing and keep a positive attitude. But it was damn hard now that it was just me. I wished that I could have had Chris come along with me in my search, to help keep my upbeat attitude going, as selfish as it sounds. But I understood why he left, it's the same reason why I didn't go with him.

 

 

From what I had found so far was that my family had stayed in a few houses here and there, but never more than a few days. It was hard to keep up with them or know exactly how long they had been there. I was practically flying blind here and hoping for the best. They left signs or notes when they could. But that only helps me so far. If in one note they indicated they would head to town A, but then upon entering said town they find its over-run with walkers so they move onto town B. Simple things like a walker herd could fuck up everything. _Daily fucking struggle in this damned world._ I knew if I ever did come across my family again and they were alive, it would purely be because I had luck on my side that particular day. It was a lot to pin my hopes on luck though. Wouldn't exactly call how I got into this mess in the first place lucky. _Maybe I'm owed some luck then...a fucking truck load by my accounts._

 

 

I unfortunately was going to have lasting memories _etched_ into my body from my time at Camp Nazi and Luke's torment. His injuries towards me were the ones that would take the longest to heal and cause me the most grief but would ultimately leave me with no visible scars. The scars I would carry, I'm still not overly sure how I obtained some of them. But that is also because my memories from that night are spotty. There's small gaps of time where I can't recall what happened. Its completely blank. I've tried to remember, _as much as I don't want to,_ but it’s just blackness. Three of the bigger scars, one on my shoulder blade, one on my lower back and the other on my ribs just below my breast, were some that I had no idea how I acquired those. And I wasn't sure if my mind would fill in the blanks or not. But it still nagged me slightly not knowing how I got them. The upside was they were easily treatable and would heal easily if I kept out any infections.

 

The one that was the smallest I always found myself running my fingers over it absent-mindedly, was the small nick on my throat. This one being the first of a few and the one that probably held the worst memories. Which sounds very strange, but losing my family that day was worse than anything Luke ever did. And he did some heavy damage to me. I knew deep down I would eventually move on from what happened that day but if I never found out what happened to Daryl, Rick, Carl and the others it would always weigh on my mind.

 

The ones Luke inflicted were my ribs and my wrists, including the bad memories that went along with them. I was sure I had a few broken ribs at the worst, fractured in the best case. It hurt to breathe and stretch too far. I would have to take it easy, _if that was even possible in this world._ I doubted I would be able to pull the cable back if I still had my bow. Guns were the easier option for me currently. It was still too soon to work with the machete, the slashing causing pain splintering down my sides, as I had found out painfully. I'd only use it if I had no other option. I knew I should be on bed rest, _Hershel would scold me to high heaven if he heard I was driving and doing some of the stuff I'm doing being this injured,_ I smiled, missing the stern protective man.

The wrists were tricky, I think it was more nerve damage possibly. With having them suspended in the shackles for several days straight and me constantly pulling against them was not winning me any favours. Another injury I would have to wait out to see what kind of lasting damage was caused. I knew if the nerve damage was minor, it would slowly repair itself. I kept them braced or strapped up. In a week or two I would see how they felt then and reassess the situation. Another reason why I was glad I had guns instead of my bow.

 

The newest scar I had acquired was one of my own doing, not intentionally I might add. I had been searching a house for remnants of my family as this is where the breadcrumbs led. I had finished my sweep of the house when a closet I hadn't checked, _why I'd forgotten I wasn't sure_ , had suddenly opened and a walker fell on top of me. My gut reaction was to bring the machete up, stupidly holding the blade side down in my other palm, unfortunately biting into my palm, wedging the blade in-between the snapping jaws of the walker and pushing the lump of rotting flesh away from me. I'd barely managed to lift it high enough before I could get myself from under it and stab it through the head before it crawled back on top of me. I had lay there catching my breath for a minute before I looked at my hand and as soon as I'd looked the pain crept in. Blood was slowly flowing from the wound. And as I had inspected it after I was done cleaning it, I had to dress it. It wasn't deep enough that it needed stitches, but how much damage I would end up with after I wasn't sure. More nerve damage possibly. So now I was stuck with using guns and it was hard enough shifting gears in the truck. That day I had called it quits and stopped, trying to get some rest. A night was all I could afford at that stage, then it was back on the road.

 

 

Then there were the mental scars. Even though there were blank spots in my memory of that night. There was a lot of other memories I would rather forget.

 

 

I'd woken up covered in sweat every single night since I left that place. Actually, it was happening during my time there too but now there was more to add to my nightmares. I was never too sure I ever screamed or talked in my sleep. Chris told me I had a few times, waking me up and scaring the crap out me at the same time. Most of the time it was Luke or Kane inflicting some form of torture on me or I was locked down in the basement, chained to that fucking wall.

 

A few times after I'd woken, a walker would be pressed up against the glass, scaring me once again. Definitely not the prettiest thing to wake up to when you're still half asleep. So, from then on, I would put a towel up or something over the window to block them from my view, at least till I woke up a minute later. Then they can bug the hell out of me, all before I get too pissed off with it and kill it. At least they hadn't figured out how to open doors, regardless of me locking them before I went to sleep.

It was just another thing to add to the list of things that fucked me off. I was easily irritated these days. I think I'd shoot Mary Poppins now my fuse was that short, that would be far too fucking cheery for my liking now. And I was sure that had to do with every day passing and not finding my family and being on my own. It's easier to start out with having no one and being on your own to having people to rely on, than have the opposite and have your family ripped away from you and being stuck on your own. I wasn't very good company now, with my nightmares, my short temper and my depression, it probably was a good thing in a way that I wasn't around my family. As much as I hated to admit it, I needed the time to sort my shit out before I found them.

 

 

I was getting sick of driving around everywhere. Another reason why I wish I had a passenger, not only the company and protection but someone to take over for me when I had been driving all day.

 

 

So here I was parked on the side of the road in the middle of nowhere. I was too far away from the nearest town and I'd hadn't seen a house or any kind of structure for twenty minutes. I was tempted to keep driving but I was exhausted, driving plus my injuries were wearing me down faster than normal.

 

I'd only been asleep for a short time when I was woken to tapping against the window next to my head. I was still half asleep and pulled the towel away covering the window to see two walkers pressed up against the glass. I groaned loudly to myself.

“Just fuck off” I grumbled quietly to myself, wanting to go back to sleep.

More annoying tapping and growling got louder, now that I had showed my face. The bastards now knew there was a meal inside. And they weren't going to give up until they got it or I dealt with them. I was now muttering curses to myself, more so because I was woken from my sleep, which was hard enough to come by lately. I knew what I needed to do, get rid of them, then attempt to try sleep again. _I doubt I'll be able to go back to sleep after._

The tapping and moaning was just getting louder still, which only seems to piss me off even more.

“For fuck's sake!” I growled sitting up and pushing the blankets off me. I grabbed the flash-light and the gun sitting on the floor. I opened the opposite door the walkers were on and stepped out. I was still fully dressed as now I didn't bother changing out of the clothes I was in when I went to sleep. _Unless they were covered in gunk._ It was too much of a liability to try dress in a hurry if I needed to leave fast. Even my boots stayed on most of the time, like right now.

 

Steeping outside in the chilly night air, I growled curses to myself for being so rudely awoken. I turned the flash-light on and quickly scanned my surroundings before the two walkers stumbled their way around the truck to me. The coast was clear for now. As the walkers rounded the back corner of the truck. I quickly put a bullet in each brain. Each shot making a small pop as it left the barrel of the gun. _Thank god for silencers. I had enough problems currently, without attracting a herd of walkers to my position. Driving at night was dangerous enough._ They both dropped like a sack of potatoes to the ground. I sighed heavily and leant back against the truck, my head tilted back. I watched the twinkling stars above me and smiled. One thing I loved about the country, always had the best view of the stars on a clear night. No annoying street-lights or glow from the city. Just darkness and the stars above.

 

 

As I predicted I couldn't fall back asleep. I ended up just lying there, thinking far too damn much and going over the list of things I missed now. That list that I had once rattled off to Daryl in the ranger tower one adventurous night a few months ago, had grown since then. What I would add would be my bow, being able to stretch out fully on a bed, getting a solid night's sleep, Chris and his subtle flirting, and that damn redneck. I chuckled to myself. The last one I missed the most. I wondered to myself if he missed me...

 

 

 

 

**_Now..._ **

****

 

Pushing the blankets back, I sat up and glanced outside. I think I half expected that yesterday hadn't happened, there would be no cars, no house...no family. But rubbing my eyes, the corners of my mouth twitched, it hadn't been a dream. The vehicles were still there, Glenn was still on watch, sitting on a chair, rifle perched on his lap. And not a single walker around. _Who couldn't be happier about that, right?_

 

I stretched gingerly, mindful of my previous injuries. As they had only started feeling better in the last few weeks. I guess I was luckier I didn't have to fight my way through a herd while I was on my own, my ribs couldn’t have taken it.

Convinced I wasn't in any pain I stretched further working out the kinks from sleeping last night. I felt far more refreshed than I had in quite a while.

I wondered what I would do today, still slightly unsure of my place back with my family, with people on the fence about my return I was still easing into it. I couldn't sit there and fret over how long it would take for everyone to realise it’s still me, time wasn't a luxury we had these days. I didn't want to live in the past. I suffered enough as it was, without adding that stress on top of it. When I slept and had the nightmares, that seemed to be the only place I couldn't push past it. It would take time to repair those scars. And I stood a better chance now.

 

Hunting. That would be the perfect way to clear my head for the day. And I had been itching to have my bow back in my hands after all this time. I was sure it was just like riding a bike. This would certainly test how bad the nerve damage was to my hand and wrists.

 

Opening the door, I pushed myself forward, pulling my boots on, tucking the small knife into my boot and stepping outside into the cool morning air. I grabbed the handgun, my bow and quiver and set off walking towards the trees.

“Where ya off to?” Glenn asked.

“Hunting” I said not bothering to stop. I had never waited for permission to go before so I wasn't about to start now. And I just needed to get back into the swing of things. Get back on top with hunting and having my bow back. I'd work on my relationships with my family later. I didn't want to crowd them and I wouldn't be able to handle them crowding me at the moment. Maybe I'd just been too used to my own company, as much as I hated my own company sometimes. _I know, hard to fucking please._ A nice simple hunt should help me clear my head. And show just how rusty I was with my bow. I wanted to prove to myself I still had it.

 

 

Amongst the trees with my bow in my hands, this is what home felt like these days. It was a part of my old home meeting the new home. Not to say I didn't enjoy having my family back, but my bow...it left me almost speechless. _Which sounds stupid but it makes sense to me and honestly, isn't that what matters these days? As long as I understand my bullshit, it’s all good._

I was tracking something small, possibly a rabbit along the trail. The woods still very quiet for this time of the morning. With winter so close, the woods were only going to get quieter from here onwards. I stealthily moved forward, keeping vigilant of each footstep, careful not to scare away the only critter I'd tracked this morning.

Finally catching a break, I could see the rabbit up ahead as it stopped to graze. I pulled the bolt back, the cable resting against my cheek. I could feel my fingers holding back the cable, had slightly less feeling, _undeniably some nerve damage. I would ask Hershel to look later. Not that there was much he would be able to do._ I aimed and was ready to release the bolt. Taking a deep breath and exhaling I let the bolt fly, hitting the unsuspecting rabbit. I smiled. It had been at least three months since I'd felt this feeling, and I had certainly missed it.

About to take a step forward, all the hairs on the back of my neck stood up, my senses on high alert. I hadn't felt like I was being followed or watched until just now. I scanned the trees around me, looking for movement or anything that would give away the predator watching me. I couldn't see anything or anyone. _Was I imagining it? This constant state of paranoia I had been living in was draining._

I stood there frozen. Paralysed by my fears. I was sure I was being watched and my one thought was back at the trailer park when Luke and his men were scouting us. I couldn't will myself to move from where I stood. My heart was hammering against my chest as I heard the footfalls from further behind me. _I didn't want to go back. I couldn't go back. I can't...They can't take me again. Please don't take me. Just leave me be. Just leave me be._ I started repeating to myself over and over. I was panting hard, struggling to catch my breath, my chest feeling tighter with each strangled breath I took. My eyes darted around the woods in front of me, expecting for Luke or one of his men to appear. They hadn't made an appearance yet. But they were still out there. And with each second that ticked by, my breathing was getting more strained. I gripped my bow harder, I didn't have to look to know my knuckles were white currently.

I heard the snap of something behind me, and their breath hitching ever so slightly. I tried to push my body forward. _Just fucking run!_ But I couldn't move an inch. I felt the presence behind me and my vision blurred, my body starting to fall to the ground and then everything went black.

 

 

_“Camille?” Hershel's voice asked though the haze. “Camille?”_

_“She alright?” Glenn asked._

_“Fainted. 'ad ta drag 'er back 'ere” Daryl growled angrily._

_“Why'd she faint?” Lori asked._

_“Don't know. We were checking the snares, saw her up ahead and then she just fainted” Carol explained._

_“Just give her some room for now” Hershel said quietly._

“I'm fine...” I mumbled, not daring to open my eyes just yet.

“Do you remember what happened?” Hershel asked.

I opened my eyes to see Hershel leaning over me, Beth beside him, further back I could see Daryl glowering at me and Carol beside him, arms folded across her chest.

“Yeah” I breathed again, scrunching my eyes shut, flickers of what set me off flashed into my mind. “Was a panic attack.”

I heard Daryl scoff across the room. “Panic attack...fucking drama queen” he mumbled. Hershel turned and I didn't need to see his face to know he was silently telling him to shut his trap for now. Daryl glared at Hershel for a few seconds before storming out of the room, Carol following after him. I now saw Rick and the others in the room, all eyes on me.

“Sorry...didn't mean to” I mumbled trying to push myself up off the couch I had been placed on.

“There's no need for that” Hershel smiled.

“I don't know what came over me. I was out hunting, then it felt like I was being watched and I just panicked. Couldn't move, couldn't breathe and all I could think was _they_ were coming for me again. Even though deep down I knew it couldn't be them. I dunno...I just triggered and I heard them getting closer then it went black” I said trying to get my breathing under control again, talking about it just seemed to bring back the same feelings as before. _I'm safe. They're dead. They ain't coming for you._ I repeated in my head as I got my breathing under control.

“Sounds a bit like PTSD” Rick spoke up. Hershel nodding in agreement.

“That's just great” I grumbled to myself.

“Would explain your nightmares too, I'm guessing” Rick offered.

I thought about it for a moment. It sounded plausible and did make sense of a lot of what I'd been feeling and experiencing over the last two months. It wasn't something I could just snap my fingers and forget it ever happened. This unfortunately was going to take time. And since I didn't have access to a shrink in this world, I would probably need to confide in someone. Daryl probably would have been my first choice before, even though the whole subject would make him cringe and probably yell at me at certain points. But as he was avoiding me like the plague and the fact that he probably wasn't the best person to talk to about this just yet, I would probably turn to Rick. He's rational enough that he wouldn't let his emotions dictate the conversation. _Unlike some people, not that I'm mentioning any names._

“Why don't you take it easy for today?” Hershel said, although it didn't sound like a question, it sounded more like an order.

“Fine, fine” I said standing, everyone in the room still eyeing me. I suppose half expecting me to keel over again. _I think I've embarrassed myself enough for one day. I hope._ “I'll go...stand watch or something” I mumble starting to walk out, picking my bow up as I walk by.

 

Sure enough as I walk outside Daryl and Carol are on watch, their conversation stopped as soon as I walked out the door, both sets of eyes an me. _No, that's not suspicious at all._ I kept my head down and made a bee-line straight to my truck. I could feel his eyes on my back without having to look at him. I had no idea what I was going to do to distract myself from pretty much everything happening around me. If I could sleep, I'd be happy to sleep the day away. But no, sleep now came with nightmares, so that was crossed off the list.

 

 

I decided to clean my weapons. It was a boring task but I would be able to get lost in it and not have my head going into overtime over-thinking every single little fucking thing. I pulled out what I needed from under the back-seat and then sat on the tail-gate of my truck, everything laid out in order.

 

I had just finished cleaning one of my hand guns about to piece it back together, when I saw small feet step into my line of vision. I looked up and smiled. Carl was standing in front of me, a little hesitant. He looked back over his shoulder. I guessed he was making sure he wasn't caught by Lori.

“Hey kid” I smiled.

“Hey” he said looking down at his feet.

“I guess I have some apologising to do to you?” I offered.

He kicked the grass at his feet, not answering right away. He looked back up to me and sighed.

“Did your parents tell you what happened to me?” I asked.

“Some of it.”

“I didn't want to leave that day. You know that, right?”

He just looked at me not offering an answer. I guess I had to explain why I said I'd leave with those pricks.

“Do you remember the day when we were training down by the river?” I asked. He nodded, so I continued. “When I cut our training short, I felt like you and me were being watched, that's why I made us head back in early. I don't want to scare you but I want to tell you the truth, ok?” He nodded again. “We were being watched, the men who took me had been watching us for a few days. When they grabbed you, they knew we would do anything to protect you. So, that's why I said I'd go, so you would be safe.”

“But why didn't you let my dad or Daryl help you?” he asked.

“They had guns on all of us. They would have killed everyone and taken me anyway, maybe more of us I don't know. I didn't want anyone else to get hurt”

“But they hurt you...”

“Yeah” I sighed, “But they won't anymore. I promise.”

“It's all my fault they took you that day. If I hadn't...” Carl said sadly before I cut him off.

“Carl, it is in no way your fault. I mean it! You were definitely not to blame” I state seriously.

“Why didn't you come back straight away?” he asked.

“I did try find you guys but you had already left by the time I got to the trailer park. Been out looking for the past two months. It was just luck that I came across your dad and Daryl in town. Can you forgive me?”

“Carl!” Lori's shrill voice rang through the air. Carl looked back over his shoulder to see his mother standing just outside the front door, hands on her hips and an angry expression on his face. _Well I wasn't going to let him get in trouble. What's one more thing Lori can me blame me for._

“Sorry Lori, that was my fault”

“Fine. But don't make me warn you again. Stay away from my son” she bit out. “C'mon Carl!” she growled. Carl dropped his head and quickly made his way back over to his mother. She glared at me for a few seconds more before following Carl inside. _Poor kid. I hope she doesn't scold him for it too. I honestly was trying to respect her wishes but the thought of letting him down again...I just couldn't do it._

Piecing together the gun, I heard footsteps approaching me.

 

“Guess not everyone wants ya back” Daryl snarled at me.

I chose to ignore his snippy comments. They never get me anywhere except that one of us starts yelling at the other until it escalates, with someone having to step in. It never got to physical violence, Daryl wasn't like that, he just got angry. But then sometimes, ignoring him could also spark that anger too, so I felt like I was walking on eggshells with him, having to pick and choose when I spoke up. I wondered how long this would continue for, if it was something he was going to get over or he would start being civil with me. Anything was possible at this stage.

I'd finished assembling the gun and placed it in the holster. Thankfully Daryl had kept on walking, one argument avoided for the day. But it was still early, plenty of times to test the vocal range in this area.

 

 

Over the next day, I tried once again keeping more to myself. Everyone seemed to have their jobs to do, except me. I was the black sheep of this family presently. Maybe I wasn't helping the situation by not including myself in as much as before but I was trying. It seemed to be a slow process.

 

I had a chat with Rick while out do a perimeter check, he asked some more about what my time was like after Camp Nazi. He, in turn talked about the group, mostly around the time after I was taken when they were still at the trailer park. He also said he was trying to talk to Lori to loosen her apron strings on Carl where I was concerned, which I appreciated. But as I thought she was very stubborn on the matter. I guessed I would have to get her to trust me first before she trusted me with Carl again.

 

I hadn't gone back out hunting just yet I figured I needed to get my head straight before I went back out there, or I'd probably need someone to hunt with, which only left one person. So no hunting at the moment. I did however take the opportunity to get used to my bow again, fine tuning it and get it set back to my specifications, since the cable had been replaced.

 

And that night I had done my first stint on watch in quite a while. I had relieved Beth so she could join everyone for dinner. This was my oh-so-sneaky way of skipping the _family dinner._ Beth had thanked me by bringing me a plate, which I ate quickly. It was nice having someone else cook me a meal for a change. Cooking meals for one were sub-standard.

 

And then I was unsure how to act when Daryl came to relieve me later that night. I had been about to say something when Carol came out, rifle in her hand as she joined Daryl for watch. I mumbled goodnight and stalked back to my truck. _Just great._ Ok, so I was jealous. I'd be stupid to try and deny it. But c'mon, he's being a bit of an asshole currently. I of course had very little sleep that night. I think I stared at the ceiling of the truck more than the insides of my eyelids. So, little sleep was going to have me cranky tomorrow.

 

 

I'd been back with the group a few days now and there were a few more things I noticed that had changed. One of which was how close Carol and Daryl were. It wasn't hard to miss. But I wasn't sure if he was putting on a show to make me jealous or it was what it looked like. It was the hushed conversations they had away from the others. How they did watch duty together. _Like they currently were now._ The sly touches that she made, that he accepted. She even went hunting with him. I had to admit, I was jealous to high hell. But I hadn't staked a claim on him before all of this, and it would be wrong of me to do it now.

If they were _together_ , the thought induced more jealousy the more I thought about it, I couldn't say a damn thing. Just sit back and stew in my own self-pity. It was downright miserable to say the least.

I don't know what I expected when I found them again, but I didn't think he would have moved on, not this quick. _Again, high fucking hopes, shattered._

Could I stay and watch though, that was the question. There wasn't a day that I didn't think about him. He was the one consistent thought I had in my attempt of getting out of that hell hole. And then once I was free, out searching for them, he was constantly on my mind then too. Even after I lost the trail and was following blind, he was still on my mind. Now it just hurt. _Start the self-pity train. Urgh!_

 

 

I'd woken hours ago, before the sun was up. And I was still staring at the ceiling of the truck. On the upside, due to my lack of sleep, _maybe an hour or two,_ I had no nightmares. Instead I was over-analysing, because that's so much better. I wanted to kick myself for letting myself lie here and stew over this.

 

I'd watched as they left not long after dawn to go hunting, together. And then return, with a little game. She was telling him something and he was smiling at the story she told. _You're making this ten times worse than it should be. He's a guy. Just a guy. Get the fuck over it and move on._ I berated myself. I wanted to believe the other voice in my head telling me I was overreacting and he was just playing this up more to piss me off. _Well it was working. And he knew it I was sure of it._

 

 

Ok I had to know. The analysing was distracting me. I was just going to go ask her. Worst case scenario I need to leave. _Fuck everybody else's happiness._ I was sick of speculating over the damn situation.

 

“Carol?” I asked getting her attention.

“Hmm?” she hummed back to me.

“I hate to sound like some jealous ex-girlfriend...look I have to know. Are you with Daryl?” I swallowed nervously, watching her expression. _Fuck, I don't know if I actually want to know this. Why am I putting myself through this torture? Glutton for fucking punishment I guess._ “If you are, just because I'm back doesn't mean you have pretend you're not. I won't be happy about it but I'd...get over it.” It was harder to get out the last few words. I wasn't sure how true those words, they felt more like a lie to be honest.

She smiled. _Shit. Don't bite her head off. It ain't her fault._ “No, we aren't together. We're...close...” she shook her head still smiling. _Close? What the fuck does close mean?_ I swore inwardly to myself. “I swear its not what you're thinking. I admit there was a night when I was on watch with him and we were drinking, we kissed but it went no further. We both realised it was just the alcohol. Since then I've just been trying to keep him grounded. He was barely tolerable first few days, even blowing up at Rick several times” she shook her head at the memory.

I sighed. I knew he would react badly. And I didn't know how to feel about them kissing. Would it just be easier to cut ties and walk away before I get my heart stomped again for a second time? Get out before he has a chance to...?

“That boy never stopped caring. Not that he'll admit it” she chuckled. “Just give him time to calm down. I'll try talk him round” she offered.

“You don't have to” I said uncertainty in my voice.

She rolled her eyes at me. “All that you went through, to come back to us and he acts like jerk, you deserve a better welcome than that.” she smiled before she walked off.

I sat there a little stunned. I had been fully prepared to hear they were madly in love and I shouldn't stand in their way, as much as I didn't want to hear that outcome. The comment about the kiss bothered me as well, even though she said it wasn't like that. She had though, chosen her words very carefully I thought. And then she says he still cares. _Well he's got a funny way of showing it. Not that I blame his reaction to my return. But I wasn't overly convinced he still cared, I had yet to see anything positive from him towards me since I returned. I seemed to be a burden or an obstacle._

I'd walked back outside trying to forget my conversation with Carol. But as it always went, it seemed to be the only thing I was thinking about. I felt there was still something off about what she had said but I couldn't place my finger on it. _Ah the joys of having an over-active imagination. Just what I needed. But again, this distracted me from my other...issues._

But some of what she had said also made me want to go speak with Daryl, at the very least clear the air. It certainly couldn't help the group if we were both at each other's throats all the time. At this stage I wasn't going anywhere, I was here to stay. We just needed to smooth things over and at the very least pretend to be civil to each other.

 

I'd decided I would just go get this talk over and done with. Rip the band-aid off so to speak. I had yet to see him come outside in since I had last been inside, so he had to be in there somewhere.

 

Upon entering the house, I saw Daryl heading to the room he was sharing with Carol. It was now or never, I needed to talk to him and if it meant cornering him for a few minutes to get him to listen to me or talk. _I'd almost settle for him yelling at me._ Anything other than the cold shoulder I've received since I've been back. So, I followed him. I had my hand about to knock on the door when I heard voices inside the room.

So here I was standing outside the door, eavesdropping on his conversation with Carol. I was about to keep on walking but curiosity got the better of me. I don't know why I was listening in, I had no right to. I almost half expected to hear... _God I hope I don't hear that!_ I inwardly cringed. The door was open, just a fraction but enough for me to be able to hear their hushed conversation inside.

 

“Rick told you what she did right?” Carol questioned.

“Yeah” he sighed.

“And?” she questioned.

“And what?” he breathed.

“And...does she seem...different?” Carol asked almost stumbling on her words. There was an edge to her voice, when she'd said _different_ it sounded like she was implying something. _What the hell? Is she...Is she throwing me under the bus? So much for the nice routine._

“Seems as stubborn as before, no fuckin' different.” he grunted.

“But can we trust her? After...what she did?”

“She ain't gonna kill us” he sighed.

“You don't know that...its been three months since she's been gone, a lot can happen in three months. She might not be the same person as before”

“She did what she 'ad to. She was trapped...”

“It’s no excuse to murder nine people” she said sharply.

_Well that certainly answers how she felt about me staying._

The room was silent. I wanted to know what else was going to be said but I had a feeling it wasn't going to be anything in my favour by what I had just heard from Carol. It was at that point I decided to walk away. It felt good to hear Daryl defending me but I thought Carol had my back. Was she just pretending to be nice to me? This was the kind of crap I wasn't wanting to deal with when I got back. _Fucking drama._ And after everything she says to him, how much of it is he going to believe? _Sure, some of what she says may be the truth, but she's spinning it in her favour..._

 

I walked back out, putting on a fake smile, as I walked past Lori, Hershel, Beth and Maggie, heading straight outside. I just needed some time to think. Hopefully going out to the woods would clear my head. Walking out the door I was stopped by Rick.

“Hey” he smiled, as he seemed to be looking me over evaluating my mood.

“I'm gonna go hunt for a bit, see if there's anything out there”

“Daryl said he hadn't seen much out there lately. You think its a good idea after the other day?” he asked.

“Yeah. Doesn't hurt to look. Plus, I just need a break” I admitted.

“Ah, so that's the real reason then. How about if I accompany you?” he offered.

“You don't need to...”

He cut me off, raising his hand. “No but you could use the company”

“Doesn't sound like I could stop you even if I'd said no” I smirked.

 

 

“So…?” Rick asked after several minutes of silence.

“You know when you're hunting, silence is key” I smirked, trying to deflect his question.

“Can't fool me. Something is up” Rick pressed me.

“Nothing’s up. Just wanted to hunt” I lied.

“What'd he do now?” Rick teased.

“What makes you think its him?” still lying.

“Who else would it be?” _God, he wasn't going to let this go, was he?_

“He's...moved on or whatever...C'mon do we have to talk about it, can't we just hunt?” I sighed.

“He hasn't moved on. He's just...angry”

“He's always angry” I countered.

“Yes, only because he cares”

“Uh huh” I mumble. Finally, he falls silent, giving up his crusade to fix what's wrong with me. _Well it'd take more than a stroll through the woods._ Having Rick follow me as I continued to look for tracks, seemed to distract me enough from my other issues. It also appeared he's learnt to become more silent when he's hunting now. Guess he was taught a few things, I sighed.

 

“C'mon let's head back, ain't a whole lot out here” Rick suggested.

I nodded and walked beside Rick as we headed back. I could feel him looking at me every few minutes, I knew he was dying to ask me again. We walked in silence. The hunt had been of course unsuccessful, not that I had really expected to be anything different. It was more about getting out of the house and _trying_ to get some alone time with my thoughts. Rick being Rick, wanted to keep an eye on me, which I appreciated but also made me want to roll my eyes at him. _I even had missed this,_ I smiled to myself.

“What's the smile for?” he asked.

My smile widened. “Just thinking bout how I missed this...you being all overprotective like you're my father.”

“Well someone has to keep an eye on ya” he sighed, taking a pause, “Ya know, after your first night back I half expected you to be gone in the morning when we woke up.

“It had crossed my mind to be honest but you guys are my family, so sorry to stay you're stuck with until you say otherwise” I grinned.

 

 

Rick stopped to talk to Daryl as I headed back inside. Once again keeping my eyes down, I just wanted to avoid the confrontation I knew was coming sooner or later. I should just get it over and done with but I wanted to live on my island of denial just a little while longer.

 

As I sat down on the couch Carol came over with my bag in her hands.

“Thought you might want this back” she smiled.

“Um...thanks” I said, trying to forget the conversation I had overheard earlier.

I went through it, bringing out the few bits of my old life out. My iPod, which was dead. _Maybe I could get a car charger for it,_ I thought. I had missed my music. _Although looting that CD store a month ago had been fun, a lot of stuff I didn't particularly like what was left but I scrounged for about dozen CD's of music I loved before I ran out of there, walkers starting to close in on my position._

I was looking over the few photos I had left, when I could hear a discussion in the kitchen. Maggie and Glenn were going to go into town looking for some supplies. I pushed myself off the couch, shoving the photos back into my bag and walked towards the kitchen.

“Hey mind if I tag along?” I asked from the doorway.

Rick, T-dog, Glenn, Maggie and Hershel all looked up. I was waiting for the hesitation.

“No problem” Rick said almost immediately.

“I'm sure you could do with some _fresh air_ too” Glenn smiled.

They knew I wanted to get out the vicinity of Daryl just for a bit, tension had been high. He'd yelled at me, sent bone chilling glares at me, cussed under his breath at me, bring Carol with him when he could, _I think that one was just to rile me up, but since overhearing the conversation with Carol I wasn't so sure anymore._

“We can take my truck if you want?” I offered.

“Sounds good. Grab what you need and meet you there in five?” Glenn said before going off to grab what he needed.

“You sure you're ok?” Rick asked concerned.

“Yeah just need some fresh air” I say my eyes flicking to Daryl's back, just for a second. Rick had seen the direction of my glance and nodded at me knowingly.

 

I walked out to the truck, and cleared off the back-seat, lifting the latch and shoving my bedding away. I sat in the driver’s seat, waiting for Maggie and Glenn to appear. As I watched the front door I could see Carol from inside looking out the window at me, she stared for a few minutes before turning away. I was still a bit on edge with her. I had no true feeling where she lay on my return. And I really couldn't be bothered hashing it out with her. It just takes up too much energy.

 

Maggie and Glenn appeared a few minutes later, each with a bag and a weapon each. Glenn sitting in the front, Maggie quietly in the back. I hadn't had much of a chance to talk to her yet. I hoped she wasn't judging me too harshly. _If you talk to her, just don't make it awkward,_ I warned myself. Didn't need to make this run any longer than it needed to be. For now, I was gonna keep my mouth shut. Just ask directions and such for now.

 

Glenn being Glenn, broke the silence only a few minutes later as we started heading towards the town.

“Have you talked to him yet?” Glenn asked beside me. _Nosey as always,_ I smiled inwardly.

“What do you think?...We've yelled at each other; does that count as communication?” I snorted.

“No. You know he's trying to get you jealous, hanging around Carol more?” Glenn added.

“Yeah I noticed that. Worked to begin with, till I chatted with Carol and she told me it wasn't like that. She was keeping an eye on him, ...And even if it was like that, who am I to act like a jealous girlfriend? It's not like we had talked about whatever we were before all this mess.”

 

Silence filled the cab for a few minutes before Maggie spoke up.

“Do you really have nightmares every night?” Maggie asked. I was a little surprised by the question, expecting her to also say nothing on the subject.

“Um most nights, was every night in the beginning. They've been more frequent the last few nights since I've been back but I think that's because I've had to talk about what happened...bought it all back” I sighed.

“Is that why ya had your panic attack the other day?” she asked.

I nodded. “That and I thought it was them coming to get me, even though I knew there was no possible way they could.”

We were all silent for bit, Glenn only speaking when giving directions.

 

Glenn had directed me to a small subdivision on the edge of town Rick had pointed to on the map. He'd said it looked to be in pretty good condition and when Daryl and him had drove by it looked to be relatively free of walkers. We would still be careful as a herd of walkers could appear from nowhere sometimes. One would stay out on watch while the other two looted the house for the necessities

 

I offered to keep watch while they looted the houses. Glenn and Maggie agreed, taking their weapons and bags. I kept watch, walking backwards and forwards on the road in front of the truck, bow in one hand and a bolt in the other. Watching for walkers. And people. It was eerily quiet. And that bothered me. It was usually at times like this when a herd of walkers just appear from nowhere and then it becomes chaos.

I heard Maggie and Glenn return, placing a bag and a box full of supplies in the back.

“We'll check these two, then we're outta here” Glenn directed. Maggie and I both nodded at him and I continued to stand guard, my eyes flicking back to the house they were currently looting.

 

I'd seen them move to the next house when I heard the sound I had been dreading. I turned around to see three walkers come out from the side of a house two down from me. _As long as more didn't appear I could handle this without having to alarm Glenn and Maggie._

I lined up my first shot, the cable resting on my cheek. I was trying to breathe when I released the bolt too soon, watching as it hit the shoulder of the walker behind it. “Fuck” I growled to myself. I shouldered my bow and grabbed the gun from my holster, the silencer screwed on.

The three walkers dropped to the ground, a bullet to each of their brains. I grumbled to myself and stalked over to the walker who had the bolt still in its shoulder and yanked it free. I was quite annoyed with myself for missing what I would normally consider an easy shot. _I really should get Hershel to look at my hand._

 

“Any trouble?” Glenn asked as he looked around me to the dead walkers on the road.

“All handled. No problems. Did you find much?” I asked.

“Yeah, enough food to last us a few weeks if we ration properly. And then some blankets and clothes. Even some antibiotics.” Maggie said placing the box of supplies in the back.

 

 

Driving back, I felt like a little more weight had been lifted off my shoulders. As much as I hated talking about the last three months, it helped. Not to say I was going to talk about it every day but I was making...progress.

And some people were warming up to me again. I didn't quite feel as alone as I had been.

I listened to Glenn and Maggie banter between themselves feeling the smile on my face as we turned off the road and up the driveway to the house.

 

 

“Thought you'd booked it?” Daryl sneered as I exited the truck. I swear I had seen a hint of relief before the scowl was replaced on his face. “Why do ya bother ta come back?” he laughed cruelly.

I watched as Maggie and Glenn grabbed what they could and made a hasty retreat towards the house. They didn't want to be near Daryl's bad mood. And neither did I really but my mouth couldn't let his snide comments slide by anymore.

“Are you fucking serious Dixon?” I almost yelled.

His scowl only intensified, him moving a step closer, causing me to back up a step. He smirked seeing this. “When are you going to cut this bullshit out?” I huffed. “I know you ain't happy I'm back. And I've been bloody tempted to leave but everyone else wants me here...But you keep carrying on like this, I'll up and leave and not look back. I knew you would be angry...”

He cut me off. “Angry doesn't quite fuckin' cut it! Why the fuck didn't ya fight back? Why'd ya just hand yerself over to 'em?” he was starting to pace as his anger increased.

“We were surrounded, Beth and Glenn were hurt! They threatened the kid for Christ-sake. Then they started beating you...I didn't want to go! We'd all be fucking dead if I hadn't gone!” I yelled back in frustration.

“I could 'ave saved you for fucks sake!” his voice matching how loud I was.

“They were beating the shit out of you!” I was seething at this point.

“I could 'ave taken 'em” he scoffed.

“You're such an arrogant prick sometimes!” I bit out. Almost instantly regretting saying it out loud as he stalked forward, the glare hard on his face. I was about to apologise but I was surprised by his lips crashing into mine. His body pushing me against the truck, wedging me in place. I could feel all the emotions from the past three months forced into this kiss. His lips moved against mine, hard enough to bruise. His other hand moving to my hair and gently tugging it back, so he could deepen the kiss. As soon as his tongue moved against my bottom lip I was lost, forgetting how mad I was at him a minute ago, how I wanted to keep yelling at him. He let go of my arm and moved it to my waist, pushing under the shirt till his fingers found _his_ marks. Caressing them as his tongue sent me into a head-spin. The moan escaped my lips and he froze pulling back. Both of us breathing heavy, his body still pressed hard against mine. I kept my eyes closed in fear that he would start yelling again or walk away. I wanted to keep the good memory for a little longer.

“Christ woman, I forgot how hot ya look when yer' all mad” he breathed against my cheek.

“Jerk” I chuckled and now dared to open my eyes. I looked up to his eyes to see the anger had disappeared and had been replaced by lust. And maybe something else. But now wasn't the time to ask any more questions.

 

He captured my lips once again, this time there was no hesitation on my part. I happily kissed him back with as much fire. He clenched my hips tightly in his hands, seemingly happy I wanted this as much as him. His body starting to grind against mine, my body just going along for the ride as I was wedged between him and the truck.

I gently pushed against his chest and breaking the kiss.

“Wait” I breathed. I didn't miss the hurt look that flashed across his face and how his body tensed. “We can't...not here. I'm pretty sure someone is watching from inside and I don't want an audience” I said watching his facial expression change and then he looked back over his shoulder and he smirked. He pushed his body away from mine and grabbed my hand pulling me round to the side of the truck.

“Best we fin' somewhere more private then” he growled opening the door to the back seat. I couldn't help but chuckle before he cut me off, his lips pressing hard against mine as he manoeuvred me against the back-seat but keeping me standing for now, I kept my balance using my hands and resting them on the seat. He pulled his body flush against mine and I could feel him getting hard behind the worn denim of his jeans. He let go of the hand he was holding and moved it up to cup my breast roughly over my shirt and then groaning when he found my nipple already hard. I couldn't help but smile into the kiss. As he palmed my breast his kissing was getting more fevered, he was starting to bite my lower lip more and then dragging his tongue down to the base of my throat and biting not so gently. I moaned at the sensation, making him growl back and me. I removed one of my hands from the seat and moved it to the back of his neck, I grabbed a small fistful of hair and pulled his mouth back up to mine. With the smile on his face I think he liked it when I got all demanding with him. I kissed him, teasing him with my tongue.

His hand moved down to the hem of my shirt an easily pushed it aside as his hand moved upwards towards my breast. He stopped abruptly when his fingers skated over the scar under my breast. He pulled away, his eyes darkening as he inspected the raised flesh. I wasn't sure what he was thinking in this moment, was it anger or something else? I had to rein him in before he let this ruin the make-up sex I'd been craving. _And I was sure he had too._

“Daryl” I said firmly trying get his attention, his eyes flickered up to mine. “It's fine.”

“Ain't fine” he said darkly, his eyes going back to the scar.

I sighed. “Ya seriously gonna let some scars stop you from buried deep inside me? Cos I sure as fuck ain't.” I said reaching out to pull him back for another hot kiss.

He pulled back, both of us panting, me trying to repress the growl I wanted to voice for him stopping. “Ya know every time ya opened ya mouth and made one of those snippy comments I just wanted to fuck the sass right outta ya” he smirked.

“Well stop fucking talking about and get on with it Dixon” I growled impatiently reaching for his belt. He batted my hands away, kissing me again. I moved my hands up his arms and gripped his biceps. His hands moved past the scar, avoiding it this time, tickling lightly over my stomach and hooked his fingers into my jeans, pulling me tighter against him. I could feel him rock hard as he ground against me, even with the layers separating us.

I went to move my arms back down to his belt again. He shook his head at me and my hands stopped moving south. Happy I had restrained myself, he pulled back slightly. I chased after his mouth, wanting more.

“Patience woman” he reprimanded.

“Fuuuccckkkkk” I drew out in long breath.

“That's the point” his mouth twitched. I had to bite my lip again to stop the loud groan. _He was such a god damn tease right now. It was frustrating as hell but I wasn't going to tell him to stop. No way!_

 

He unzipped my jeans and tugged them down, along with my panties till they were bunched at my knees, his fingers skating up my thighs, avoiding my pussy and resting on my hips. “Turn around” he commanded and surprisingly I felt myself get wetter at his dominant side coming out. In turn making me bite my lower lip to suppress the moan that wanted to escape. He smirked knowingly before I turned around obeying his command. My ass bare to him. _I hoped for both our sakes no one was doing a perimeter check right now, didn't want to have to explain this. As obvious as it was._ He pressed himself against me, his rough denim rubbing against my skin, his hands cupping both of my breasts again, my head leaning back and resting on his shoulder, while his fingers played with my nipples through the material. His ministrations stopped and his hands kneaded down my body till his hands gripped my hips.

 

He placed a hand on my lower back and bent me at the waist, so I was leaning over the back-seat, my hands pressed flat on the seat in front of me. I moaned when I felt him sink two fingers into me without warning. I could feel a slight breeze as it blew cold air over my exposed ass and pussy. He held his fingers there, buried up to his knuckles as I heard him start to undo the belt on his jeans. I clenched around his fingers, making him groan loudly and falter as he tried to unbutton his jeans. I tried to clench again as he pulled his fingers free.

“Fuck...forgot how good ya taste” he moaned as I think I heard him sucking on his fingers, I assumed.

I was about to complain about standing here half naked and still he hadn't fulfilled his promise, when I felt him lining his cock up with my pussy, teasingly rubbing it through my wetness before sinking into it.

“Mmm...fuck...just as tight as I remember” he growled as he slid in till he was buried at the hilt and pressing against my ass, his hands gripping me possessively on my hips. His thrusts started slow as he and I both adjusted to the amazing sensations rolling through both of us. As I started to push back harder against him he started to thrust harder. The sounds of flesh hitting flesh, him grunting and growling incoherent words and me panting and moaning with every thrust. His hold on my hips gripped tighter, that I knew tomorrow I would have bruises. I pushed myself up slightly, the angle making us both pant harder, him driving himself into me harder. _More bruises to the list. These bruises I didn't mind though, I'd be happy to wear them._ He pumped himself into my wetness several more times before his hold on my hips gripped painfully tight and he growled as he came.

 

After a minute his body slightly slumped towards mine. He lazily kissed my cheek and my neck, both of us still trying to get out breathing under control.

“Holy...fuck” I panted.

“Yer' tellin' me” he breathed, his body leaning on me more heavily now. He kissed my neck again before he stood slowly, gently pulling himself out of me. He quickly tucked himself back into his jeans. I stood and was about to reach for my jeans and underwear, when he pulled them back up for me. I buttoned them back up as his hands rested on my hip, his forehead resting on my shoulder. I turned around in his arms, a satisfied smirk present on his face. _Probably on mine as well._

“Are ya done yelling at me now?” I asked arching an eyebrow at him.

“No, probably not” he sighed, before rubbing his thumb over one of the scars on my hip. “But I'm done bein' mad at ya” he said pulling me against his chest. _This, this was where I was happiest._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, so how was that? Lol! Alot happened through that chapter but I think the ending sums it up nicely. And damn I like dominant Daryl....  
> I know it seems like she forgave him too easily there but I think they both needed the physical release there. And if they had just tried to talk about the issues of the last three months, it would have escalated to the point where neither of them would have had a rational discussion. She will pull him up on a few things, but they both just needed to work some of that aggression out first.  
> Ok You know what to do...I always accept reviews as bribes...


	38. Ante Up

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So you know how I said I wasn't going to do long chapters probably in the future. Just delete that from your memory. I found writing this chapter I couldn't stop once I got started. So just ignore me if I say no more long chapters lol.  
> Thanks to everyone who commented, reviewed, kudos, followed or favourited. They make my day so thank you for the niceness.  
> I'm quite happy with how this chapter turned out. I was struggling for about a week to get it together and now just in the last three or four days its all magically written. Maybe it was the mid-season premiere that kick started my inspiration. Speaking of that...wow what an episode, it was so sad but amazingly beautiful at the same time. Even though there was Sweet FA of Daryl, that episode was one of my favs, so that's saying something.  
> Alright I know some of you were a little disappointed with the previous chapter and I can see where it could have failed for some of you. For me as the writer I think they both needed that cathartic release before the talking began. There was pent up anger and frustration from both sides. But I promise you she hasn't let him off the hook for being an ass. I hope this chapter provides some of that.  
> Ok I've babbled on enough....on with the chapter...Enjoy!!!

**_ Three weeks ago... _ **

****

****

I'd lost the trail about two weeks ago. It just went cold. For all I knew I was chasing ghosts. I had to come to the realisation that I may never find them again. _Find them alive._ I didn't want to think of the other option. I **should** move on, venture out of the state but I was still so reluctant to. This was my problem I was still hanging on to the hope I would find them. I continued driving around Georgia. But if I did move on from Georgia, where would I go then? What the plan? Cos I sure as fuck didn't have one. I was still just driving round looking for a place to hold up for a night or two. I never liked staying in one place too long. It was almost like I was on the run, like Luke and Kane were still alive and they were going to appear from behind _that_ car or _that_ building and take me back to Camp Nazi where I'd die. I was still looking over my shoulder every now and then for them. And I caught myself doing it most of the time. Now I wasn't sure what I looking for when I looked over my shoulder.

I started to consider the possibilities of what to do next. Should I find new people, safety in numbers? Or do I go at alone? I didn't trust anyone though, so that ruled out finding other people. I was sure they all couldn't be bad but recent experiences had tainted my outlook on humanity. I wondered how that would change how I felt about my family, _if_ I ever found them again, would I be able to trust them? Could they trust me? I was sure they would all be happy to see I was alive as I would be but once I told them what happened I wasn't sure they would all feel so happy. The two people I was most worried about were Daryl, _obviously,_ and Rick. I trusted and respected his opinion about me. And Rick was the leader so he would have sway over everyone.

I missed the simple things about having people around me, talking for one. I missed having an entire conversation or sitting and doing the chores together. God knows I hated doing the _women's work_ but I wouldn't mind doing it, if I could have someone beside me and talk to me. I missed sleeping. I honestly don't know how I function some days with the little sleep I do achieve. Although if by chance I got to sleep for say six solid hours, no interruptions, just sleep, I think by the morning I would still be tired. I'd probably need a week or two to get back into that rhythm of sleeping for longer because I'm so used to getting fuck all right now.

I looked over the map, trying to figure out my next move. I had places marked on the map for all different sorts of reasons, food, shelter, places to avoid, places where my family had been, and the one time I had seen a group of people. I remained as elusive as I could possibly be when it came to people. And walkers when I could help it. These days it pays to be cautious, as personal experience on several occasions have taught me.

The current plan was...well I had no current plan other than stay alive and stay away from the walkers. As much as they can be avoided. I wish I could think of a better game plan. But unfortunately, this was it now. I was going to have to think about what would happen in the winter. There were possibilities it could snow, which would fuck things up severely. Dangerous conditions to drive in, little if any game, it was cold – obviously and it was just going to be a pain in the ass. I'd prefer the heat, as sweltering as it can be sometimes. The cold just presented too many problems. But on the upside, it would slow the walkers down.

I was just north of Atlanta currently. I had given the city a wide berth, wanting to avoid the bigger cities as much as possible. Even though I knew there would be stores and homes that would have plenty of supplies. But after scoping out what I could see, walkers still claimed most of the city. So there was no way I was going into the city, unless there was a guaranteed miracle happening.

I was exhausted. I think I had slept a total of two hours last night. Every damn noise woke up and then the silence kept me awake, it was infuriating. I just wanted five solid hours of sleep. Sleep, _like my sanity_ , and seemed to be a luxury these days. Luxuries I apparently wasn't able to afford currently.

I hated driving when I felt like this, one day it would get me killed. I just hoped when I crashed I smashed my brain hard enough I wouldn't come back as one the undead fuckers that ruin my sleepless nights. I also hated how complacent I was towards death now. I think I was too stuck in my negativity to get my head out of it. There's only so much _thinking positively_ a girl could do before she just goes _fuck that_ and lets the darkness envelop her.

But the injuries I had obtained from Luke and the other assholes were healing. I had ugly pink jagged scars in several places. My ribs were still tender and from what I had read in a first aid book I'd found at a library; it would be like this for another week or two if I didn't over do it. _No... that doesn't sound like something I would do....Well I had been trying to take it easy...easier than normal._ I still had to fight off the occasional walker but if I utilized the areas of my body that weren't as damaged I seemed out come out better off. Well that was the theory, sometimes you can't plan for these pricks. They like to be sneaky fuckers.

I was a little concerned about my hand though. The scar had healed but there was some definite nerve damage to it. Again, how extensive I wouldn't be sure for a month or two. I had good grip and function, considering the injury but I had a feeling it would never be back to full strength. Not unless there a triage centre out there that I can magically get treated and fixed. I wondered how my hand would fair if I ever got my hands on another bow again. Something I had been avoiding thinking about for now just in case it was bad news. I already have enough shit to worry about now without adding that to the mix. I've adapted so far but only out of necessity not choice.

I had driven as close as I liked to dare to the Atlanta suburbs yesterday as I tried to scope out the situation there. But even with binoculars it was still hard to see how bad it was still down there. And I wasn't too keen to drive any closer to check it out. I'd just stick to my gut saying _stay the hell out_. I was trying to keep myself out of the sticky situations and the suburbs just felt like it would all go to hell in a heartbeat. _And I was quite fond of my heartbeat._ I think even if I had someone backing me up I wouldn't be going in there.

But when I had the binoculars out yesterday I took a good look around the whole county and there looked to be a few heavily wooded areas not too far from here. Hunting was on the agenda today. I'd set some traps and hope to hell I caught something. God I missed my bow. I _could_ try with the baretta’s or the rifle, hunting with baretta’s felt completely wrong and the rifle had no silencer so I wasn't willing to draw every walker within a few miles’ radius directly to me. _May as well hand myself over on a silver fucking platter doing that._

The traps only caught small game which suited me fine. If I caught a deer or a pig, a lot would go to waste. So as much as it pained me I left them alone. _Bigger game would just spoil_ , that's what I kept repeating to myself. And it wasn't like I was going hungry. I still had a decent supply of canned and dried goods to last me a few weeks if need be, I made sure to keep those for when times get desperate and I knew sooner or later it would. For now, I caught as much as I could and found fruit and vegetable where I could. Even plants I didn't know you could eat. That damn survival guide Chris got me had been a real life saver at times. One day I would thank him for that. _Maybe get him to sign it for me_ , I laughed.

I pushed forward towards the woods. Ready to set some traps before it got dark and then I would “sleep” in the truck. In reality I would be staring at the roof of the truck pissed off because I couldn't sleep, regardless of me yawning my head off most of the day. And more than likely when I finally fell asleep I would be woken by a nightmare or a walker banging on the window. _Worst fucking alarm ever._ But before I fell asleep I'd think of my family, what they would be doing, where they could be. And when I finally got some sleep my last thought would be of him. It always was. Those were the times I dreaded, thinking of them just made things so much harder. Made me realise how alone I really was. I didn't want to die alone but what other choice did I have?

**_ Now... _ **

I haven't moved since he pulled me against his chest. I was afraid to look up in case I saw something like regret or disgust on his face. I wanted to stay in this bubble for a little while longer. I'm waiting for it to become bad again because that's what I've been used to. Because inevitably the other shoe was going to drop sooner or later. _I know, I'm swimming in pessimism right now._

Yes, we'd gotten some of the aggression out with the make-up sex before but we still hadn't talked. We'd yelled but that doesn't count, as Glenn had said and I tend to agree with him on this. I know he doesn't want to hash this out or talk about feelings or anything else that's going to make him uncomfortable but there are some things he needs to hear. Like since I've been back, the hostility towards me. I get why he was mad to begin with but he never seemed to let up on me. Maybe I need to have a thicker skin for this but I don't, he's probably going to lash out and say something that will end up hurting my feelings and I'll cry, which he'll hate, so it just seems like I'm fucked either way.

I needed to start this conversation with him, I just wasn't sure how. To say everything I needed to, even if it meant he would start yelling at me again.

I was to blame for a lot of what happened. The guilt was crippling sometimes. I don't think he knows how bad it really was either. I was sure Rick had given him the tame version of what happened to me. I'm not sure he would have acted different, maybe there would be a bit more yelling. I doubt he would be thrilled to hear what happened. I'm sure Rick had left out the seduction of Luke part out. It wasn't one I particularly wanted to rehash, it gives me the creeps now just thinking of it. But eventually I would have to tell him.

I did wonder what exactly was fuelling his anger, was it the brutality of the massacre? Or how reckless I was for coming up with that plan in the first place? Or was it for giving myself over to them so easy, without letting Daryl fight for me like he wanted? I was sure that had to have dented his pride a little. Or the thought that I probably dreaded the most was that he was just angry I was back, plain and simple, he didn't want me to return. It was a possibility but the likelihood of that scenario had plummeted in my mind, the sex kind of nullified that particular thought.

“You know I should still be mad at you for a few things” I said pulling back.

“Like what?” he asked.

“Carol for one” I raised an eyebrow at him.

_ “Daryl? Are you out here?” _ I heard Carol call from the house, her voice sounding with a hint of uncertainty. _Isn't she just the queen of perfect fucking timing_. _“Daryl?”_ she called again. _Seriously what the fuck is going on with those two?_ I couldn't help but feel annoyed at her butting her head in right now. I was finally going to give Daryl some answers and get some in return. But of course, she _needs_ him at this very moment.

Daryl huffed quietly, ducking his head, “Back in a bit” he mumbled before he dropped his arms from around me and walked away towards the house, not looking back. I stood there a little shocked. _What the fuck just happened?_ I pushed myself back on to the seat, my legs dangling out the door. I felt like that was too perfectly timed. Maybe my mind was jumping to conclusions right now but seriously, we just kind of made up and he runs off at his first opportunity. A girl but can't feel pretty miffed off at that. _Just great. So, she was going to run interference? I should have just kept yelling or walked away before he kissed me, not feeling like I was used and got the raw end of the deal here._

I get he's not into the whole _'expressing or talking about my feelings kind of guy'_ but even he should know, leaving like he just did, made me feel like a cheap hooker. _Was that break-up sex? For fucks sake!_ _Fuck my life!_ This is just what I needed more head-fuckery.

In the few days that I'd been back I'd been in somewhere very close to hell in my head. I was emotionally drained. After trying to deal with all the stuff that happened in the past three months, then finding my family again and all the drama that bought up, then to the Daryl drama. He'd been nothing but _unwelcoming_ towards me since he first laid eyes on me. And that was putting it mildly. First believing it was a trick that I was standing in front of him, then the yelling, then the cruel comments and then Carol. I had no idea what to make of it all. What she's telling me and what she's doing seem to be two very different things, even some the things she says change as well.

I didn't understand this _bond_ they had and I wasn't sure I wanted to. Clearly, she doesn't trust me with him or else she wouldn't have pulled him away at such a time, although I'm surprised she didn't come out before mine and his pants were around our ankles. I just wondered what exactly he meant by close. Are they a thing and its super secret or don't want anyone to know? Or am I just that fucking clueless that its staring me in the face and I can't or don't want to see the truth?

I sat on the back-seat, stupidly hoping he would return and give some sort of explanation. But he doesn't return. I'm feeling less than enthused right now. Maggie and Beth were currently sitting outside on watch, I could hear them talking amongst themselves but I was too far away to hear what they were saying. They weren't looking over at me, so hopefully that meant I wasn't the topic of conversation.

If I'd worked things out with Daryl, at least had a bit of a talk with him I might have then felt comfortable enough to go join the ladies on watch but having resolved nothing except for our libidos. I still felt like the outsider. I knew ninety percent of this was in my head and I just needed to suck up my pride and grow some balls and interact with them. They were still my family after all. I just felt like the wallflower cousin everyone tries to avoid at parties.

I should be making more of an effort with Lori most of all, it was more to get back into her good graces so she would let me hang out with her son. It was an ulterior motive, but we weren't the best of friends before, we were happy and civil. Rick still had my back and I was pleased about that. His opinion of me seemed to not have changed but unfortunately for him he was not the mediator between me and the group.

Some things weren't changing since I got back, like the nightmares although they seemed to have escalated slightly but that was because I was having to relive it all again. And I still haven't been back out in the woods since my panic attack the other day. I hope shit like this lessens over time, being this paranoid is mentally breaking me. I had hoped that once I was back with my family this shit would just disappear. But of course, that's not how things work. It was going be long road back to becoming my old self. When I had visited the library, I made sure to steer clear of the self-help aisle, because reading a book about PTSD wasn't going to solve things. I had people to talk to now, that should make it easier, right?

I'd been lying on the bed of the truck reading, the sci-fi one, _anything to distract myself,_ when Rick tapped my leg, giving me a fright. I must have been fully engrossed in the book to not hear his approach. He took a seat next to me, laying the rifle down beside him.

“Something I can help you with Sheriff?” I ask smiling, sitting back up.

“I hear you two made up” he smirked. _Smug and nosey._

“Well it was definitely the better way to end an argument” I smirked sitting up and closing the book. “No one saw _anything_ though, right?” I asked cringing.

“Not that I heard of, no. Glad Lori had Carl inside doing some reading, hate for him to get an eyeful of someone's bare ass” he chuckled.

I shrugged. “Would have only seen Daryl's then, so I'm safe.” I sighed looking back to the house. I guess I was waiting for Daryl to walk out any minute so I could talk to him. Or at least resolve what ever went down after that made him all but run off.

“So, are you two ok now? No more yelling?” Rick asked.

“No idea. Carol kinda came out, calling for him before we had a chance to talk and he just sort of up and left. So, no fucking idea what's going on. Pretty sure Carol doesn't approve of me or thinks I'm a bad influence on Daryl” I sighed.

“Well they have spent more time together since...”

“I went on _vacation_ ” I quirked an eyebrow.

“Yeah, vacation” he breathed, “I don't think there's anything to worry about. They aren't a _couple_. She helped get him back on track. He never listened to me to begin with. I got why he was upset but I needed him strong again, selfish I know...but that's where Carol helped him.”

I couldn't help but feel guilty again. It was like ripples in the water they just kept spreading out, further and further. So much damage from one event. And not just to me, it had effected so many people, all from one action.

“Well I guess I'm just a little pissed he pretty much bolted as soon as he could after we were done. Kinda makes me think he regretted it and just didn't want to stay. I dunno...I'm feeling unwanted enough by the group as it is...” I sighed heavily looking at my hands.

“We do want you here. Some of them are just taking a little more warming up” he smiled.

“You think Carol has it in for me, thinks I'm stealing her man?” I rolled my eyes.

Rick snorted. “Jealous, are we?” he teased.

“Extremely” I chuckled. “I dunno. My head's just so full at the moment Rick. I just need to talk to him, sort some of this shit out”

Rick scooted closer and slung his arm around my shoulder. “It'll be alright kid, he'll come to his senses. Hopefully sooner rather than later”

I sighed, I just wanted to get this talk over and done with. I'd put up with a lot in the last few days, more so from Daryl. Like I'd said to Rick I just needed to unburden myself.

“Is Lori still on the bandwagon to get me out of here?” I ask.

“She isn't recruiting anyone to her cause if that's what you're asking” he said giving me a knowing look, “I've tried talking to her but she's stubborn. I trust you with Carl, if that helps?”

I smile. “Yeah, would do anything for the kid. Hell, I have and I'd do it again.”

“I know...” he ducked his head, “I wanted to fight harder so they wouldn't take you but we were out-gunned and with two of our people already injured...I couldn't. And I feel like an asshole, because it sounds like a shitty reason. I dunno, I just want you to know you matter, then and now.”

I shake my head smiling. “Shouldn't be you apologising. Someone else should on his fucking knees apologising to me. Different reasons of course. You weren't an asshole that day, I never thought of it that way, not once, I never regretted the decision I made that day. For Carl, for my family, I'd do it again. So, quit feeling guilty would ya. You're an honourable man Rick Grimes.”

Rick blushed slightly ducking his head again. _God, men and compliments._

“I missed having someone to chat to” he mused.

“You mean you missed trying to secretly make Daryl jealous” I chuckled.

“I have no idea what you're talking about” the smug smile on his face giving it all away.

“Uh huh...sure ya don't. Although in your attempts to make Daryl jealous, this probably won't go over well with Lori. She has enough reasons to distrust me now. Don't need to add _husband stealer_ to the list.”

Rick chuckled and tightened his arm around my shoulder. He was fucking incorrigible. And so, I just let him have this moment and pray that Lori wasn't watching out the window and hopefully not Daryl either. As tempting as it is to spark a little jealousy, he knows it’s not like that.

“She won't think that.” he smiled.

I'd been wanting to ask this since I got back. I was curious to see what his line of thinking was about telling the group. “How did you know it was right to tell the group about Shane?... About killing him I mean.”

Rick frowned, the creases on his forehead deepening. “Honestly...I didn't think about it at the time. I was so fired up because my leadership was being questioned. I told them everything. Should have kept a few things to myself I reckon, or at least told you alone before I blurted that information out.” he was staring at me, looking for my reaction.

“I too wish you'd said something to me beforehand but those were facts the group needed to know. It further proved what a douche bag he was.”

“So, do you regret telling the whole truth?” he asked.

I shook my head. “No, its better they know.”

Rick was always easy to talk to. I remember back to how I first met him. Waking groggily in a bedroom, my hand cuffed to the bed. Not the ideal way to wake up. _At least when you haven't consented to it._ But I understand why they did it, to protect themselves and the group. Then Rick and Shane come walking into the room, Shane looked unhinged back then now that I think about it. And Rick, he was his polite and calm self. _The more rational of the two._

I tried to think back to when Rick and I became friends. It had to be after the farm, maybe after we'd both apologised to each other when we were both being pig-headed about something so stupid. He started to trust my judgement and trusted me with his son. I'm sure he wishes I didn't have so much bad luck though, I seem to attract the kidnappers and the herds of walkers. But I had showed my resilience when I was backed into a corner.

And then after everything that happened with Camp Nazi he doesn't seem to hesitate around me, which I appreciate. I'd like to think I'm pretty much the same person. _Just more baggage, emotional and physical. And a truck. And a sniper rifle._

“You should have dinner with us tonight” he offered.

“I'll think about it” I replied, but we both knew I was just going to sit out here and have my dinner. He understood for now and didn't push the issue. I, myself knew I would come around eventually. I was still waiting for my head to get on straighter, even though that was going to take a considerable amount of time. It was just another excuse and I knew it.

I sat on the tailgate, waiting for the water to boil on the small gas burner. I peered over my shoulder to the house, small slivers of light peeked through the drawn curtains. I was sure they were all sitting round eating their dinner. I was on watch while they ate as a _family._ I offered to stay watch for Maggie and Beth in the mean time, which they appreciated.

With the water sufficiently boiled I added the instant soup mix, stirring it to combine the contents. I transferred it to a mug and turned the gas burner off. It wasn't gourmet but it would do for now. Chicken noodle soup, one of my favourites, that and my mother's vegetable soup. That was the best soup for a rainy day in my pyjamas. I took my soup and resumed my place leaning up against the cab on the truck. Darkness starting to settle in, the sun disappearing behind the landscape. I scanned the tree-line as I sipped the soup. It helped warm my insides. The night was quiet and that didn't sit well with me. Quiet nights always spelled troubles, at least in my past experiences. Maybe that was my paranoia acting up again. _Who the fuck knows...honestly?_

Beth and Maggie resumed their watch, thanking me before they continued their conversation before they relieved me. I had since finished my dinner and had been watching the property till they returned. I packed up and shut everything away for the night. I always left it ready to split if shit ever happened before I had time. It paid to be organised in this world, a skill I had learnt to embed in my routine now.

I gave one last look to the house, still hoping Daryl would appear. Scoffing at my absurdity, I untied my boots and pushed myself up on to the back seat. I couldn't help but think only a few hours ago I was bent over this damn seat, oh how **_that_** wasn't going to keep me awake all night. I wasn't going to make this easy for myself that was for damn sure. I shut the door and kicked my boots off. As I lay down, tilting my head back and moving the towel back from the window, I could see the stars twinkling above. And for a few seconds I could appreciate the nothingness that was happening right now, I could blink and feel like I was back home, out on an overnight hunting trip. Reality crept back in all too soon and I let the towel fall back into place.

I was staring at the roof, a routine of mine, whether I wanted it to be a routine or not. I don't know how I stayed awake so long some nights and it wasn't like I was keeping track of how long I was awake either. I knew it was more than I was sleeping, the dark circles under my eyes made that more than clear. I tried to get comfortable, occasionally tossing and turning and swearing something to myself for good measure.

_ My wrists ached hanging above me, the metal biting into them. I pulled again and again on the bindings knowing they weren't going to break free. I hated this place. I froze when a single light flickered on at the far end of the room. I heard the locks sliding back from the door and heard it slowly open from the top of the stairs. Three sets of boots came down the stairs one after the other. Dread and fear filled me. The first to step under the lone light in the basement was Kane, next was Luke and the last to step under the light was Shane. _

_ What the fuck was Shane doing here? He was dead before Camp Nazi. He **never** made it into these nightmares. I sat there so confused trying to figure out why he was here. It didn't make any sense. Shane just smirked at my reaction, clearly quite amused at how confused I was. _

_ “I see she's been getting mouthy again” Kane said as he looked over my bruised body. _

_ “If she knew when to speak and when not to, I wouldn't have to pretty her up” Luke smirked. _

_ “She never learned with me either” Shane grinned as he stepped closer. I pushed myself hard up against the wall. I had nowhere to go. The three men looked between themselves chuckling at my reaction. _

_ “She does 'ave nice tits though” Shane commented. _

_ “She does, only got my hands on though” Luke replied as he licked his lips. _

_ “She only teased you, both of you” Kane said folding his arms across his chest. _

_ “Ain't that the truth” Shane breathed. _

_ “C'mon let's have some fun” Luke said taking his knife from the sheath on his hip. My eyes stayed fixed on the blade. Kane circled to the left and Shane circled to the right. I was beginning to feel like a caged animal. _

_ “Move and we make it hurt” Luke said crouching down in front of me. _

_ “Go fuck yourself!” I sneered at them. I wasn't gonna go down without a fight. Shane went to grab my ankle but I managed to kick him hard in his forearm. _

_ “Stupid fuckin' bitch” he seethed rubbing the spot that I had just kicked him.   
**Smack!** _

_ I was stunned when a fist collided with my jaw on the opposite side. I felt warm liquid pool out of my mouth. It must have been blood. _

_ “We told ya not to fucking move...but you're stubborn bitch” Kane whispered the last part in my ear, his smoky breath against my cheek, his hand resting on my shoulder. _

_ “Get your hands off me!” I growled angrily. _

_ Shane's hand gripped my ankle again. This time I couldn't struggle free as he tugged my ankle, gripping tighter, pulling at me. _

_ “No, no, no, no, no” I repeated, struggling further to no avail. _

_ “Lights out bitch” Luke sneered before I saw his fist coming straight for my face. _

I sat up startled, my hands still shaking as I buried my head in them. That nightmare felt far too real. But lately they always did feel real. _But why was Shane there?_ That part I still hadn't figured out. He never was a part of them. It had to be because I was talking about him to Rick earlier in the night...it had to be.

I froze when I felt a hand tighten ever so slightly on my ankle, moving up to rest on my knee. _Was I still in the nightmare?_

“Hey...you ok?” Daryl's gruff voice whispered.

I pulled my head away from my hands to see Daryl leaning through the centre console, his hand on my knee. Why was he here? I was still so confused from the nightmare.

“Nightmare...Why...what...why you here?” I blinked.

“Came back out an' you were asleep, didn't wanna wake ya. So I slept in the front” his hand still awkwardly holding my knee, his thumb brushing the skin distracting me for a few seconds.

“So, what took so long?” I asked a little sharply. He stayed silent. _Na-uh I wasn't having any of this. He was gonna talk._ “Really? Silence? You owe me at least an explanation as to why ya left this afternoon, so start talkin mister” I said.

“It's Carol” he mumbled, letting my knee go as I moved more to face him.

“Yeah, I'd figured that much out when she was hollering for you, so...”

“She...” he trailed off, seeming to think of what he was going to say.

“She what? Thinks I'm a bad influence, that I'm gonna lead you astray? That I'm stepping on her turf and she's jealous? That she thinks I should leave?” I sigh heavily. Daryl kept a straight face and still says nothing. “You regret what happened? If that's the case then just fucking say, I can't stand it when you say nothing at all.”

“Didn't regret it” he mumbles quietly.

“Well thank fuck for that...” his lips twitch. “What's got you all twisted up then?” _Finally, I was about to get some answers out of him._

A rapid knock on the door startled both of us. Rick was standing outside and he kept glancing back towards the house. I pushed my covers aside, unlocked my door and opened it. A little annoyed that someone else was once again interrupting at the exact moment I would get to talk to Daryl.

“What's up Rick?” I ask sharply, and not liking the nervousness he was displaying right now.

“Big herd... coming through the trees at the edge of the property. Maybe a hundred at most” Rick breathed out, his eyes darting again to the tree line.

Daryl jumped out of the truck, grabbing his crossbow. I quickly found my boots, shoving them on and joined Rick and Daryl outside. Looking back to the trees you could clearly see walkers starting to appear just past the tree line. The full moon was creating enough light to be able to see that far. And with how far they were currently, we maybe had five minutes maybe a few more at most before they would be on top of us. We'd need to act fast.

“Shit...that's a sizeable fucking herd heading our way” I said stating the obvious.

“We gotta get the others and leave. Now!” Rick said glancing back to the herd.

“No” I said looking between both the men, who now looked like I'd lost the fucking plot.

“No? Are ya fuckin' insane?” Daryl growled angrily.

“I've got a plan. You're not gonna like it. Look, it’s too dangerous for us all to drive outta here with that on our heels. You get everyone inside, in the basement, shove furniture up against the doors and hide in the basement, stay quiet, while I lure them away.”

“Fuckin' reckless woman” Daryl growled under his breath.

“Thought you said it was too dangerous to be driving at night?” Rick questioned.

“It is if we are all driving. Its too dangerous to be storming off into the night. Look I won't be driving fast, just crawling enough ahead of the pack to lure them with me, I'll turn my music up and get any stragglers that are having second thoughts. They'll follow the sound. Its worked for me in the past, on several occasions. We don't have time to argue about this. Get inside and fucking do this. I'll be back here in the morning” I said walking back towards the truck. I glanced back over my shoulder to see both Rick and Daryl slightly dumbfounded, _I get it, I'm the girl, I shouldn't be offering myself up on a silver fucking platter. But seriously they should know me by now that this is what I do. I'd do anything for my family._ I turned back around to face them. “Move and get inside before they see you. This plan will turn to shit if they think there are more opportunities here. Stay quiet. I'll be back ok...I'm coming back, I'm not running away and I'm not on some suicide mission before you ask. Just. Get. In. Side.” I growled out before I took off back to the truck, heading straight for the front seat to pop the gas cap. I grabbed one of the gas cans from the deck of the truck, unscrewed the lid and started pouring gas into the tank. I knew it half full, but I didn't know how long I was going to have to lure them and driving slow was going to burn through the gas.

I looked back past the house and could see the walkers getting closer I still had a few minutes before they reached the house. I emptied the last of the gas into the tank, screwing the lid back on and dumping the empty can into the back. I quickly snapped the lid to the tank on and got into the driver’s seat. I grabbed my bow off the passenger seat and placed it in the back. I also opened the rear window leading out to the bed of the truck. _Anything to project a little more sound._ I knew I had enough supplies for a few days if need be and enough gas in the back to get me back. Ammo, food, had a bit of everything in here.

I sat there waiting now. I needed them closer for me to pull this off. Can't jump the gun on this one.

I nearly had a heart-attack when the passenger door opened and Daryl jumped in, slamming the door shut.

“Why they hell aren't you inside? I said I had this” I growled.

“Ya ain't goin' alone on ya fuckin' suicide missions anymore. It ain't up fer' discussion. Rick n' I already decided. So, get fuckin' movin' ” he glared.

_ This was gonna be a long car ride. And him getting all bossy again just makes me think of earlier. Deep breath. And stop fucking distracting yourself, _ I scolded myself.

I started the truck, turning the key and kept it idling in park. I put my foot on the brakes, making the brake-lights shine towards the herd of walkers. More getting attracted by the light. They hadn't stopped to paw at the house yet but I just needed to get their attention a little more before I started the slow drive away. And I didn't want them to have any interest in the house to begin with.

“Go” Daryl urged looking back over his shoulder at the impending herd.

“Not yet” I breathed, my eyes locked on the rear-view mirror.

“Damnit woman. Go! Ya not fuckin' gettin' me killed!” Daryl growled angrily.

“Just give them a minute more, we go too soon and they won't follow. Need to take as many as we can on this fucking road trip” I grinned, more to myself. I could hear the moaning getting closer. I pushed play on the CD player, music starting to come through the speakers and I started laughing. The irony sometimes, honestly, _“Dad's Gonna Kill Me” by Richard Thompson_ started playing through the speakers. I reached up and pulled the sun-roof back, so the sound could travel further. I also wound down the back windows an inch and clicked the locks. _Paranoid as ever that they would magically learn how to open a car door._

My eyes stayed fixed on the rear-view mirror as I started to drum to the beat on the steering wheel. The walkers had perked up hearing the music and were stumbling towards the truck now, having no interest in the house. I started singing along with the sing, smirking the whole time. I knew my dad would kick my ass if he knew some of the stuff I'd done in the last eight months or so. This song was perfect, sure I wasn't going off to war but this is counted as a close second I figured.

The first tap on the back of the truck signalled the bastards were close. _Time to get moving._ I took the truck out of park and slowly started to drive towards the driveway. Always keeping an eye on the rear-view mirror every minute or so. I'd stop every now and then, letting the walkers catch up as I continued to sing.

As the song ended I glanced over to Daryl to find him watching me, a slightly amused, yet confused look on his face. “What?” I smiled. I'd honestly had forgotten he was sitting right beside me.

“Yer' singin' ” he stated.

I chuckled. “Good observation skills Dixon. You telling me I sound like a strangled cat?”

The silence stretched between us. He was not going to be the one to start this, it was going to be up to me, I knew that. Well, shit I guess this was the only way I'd get to talk to him. I remember my dad doing the exact same thing when he had something important or embarrassing to talk about. I remember when I first moved out of home and on the thirty-minute drive into town he decided to have the _safe sex_ talk. Leave it to him to wait till I was trapped in the truck for him to start this conversation. And granted I'd already had this talk several years earlier, but I was daddy's little girl, and he thought it was amusing as well.

I just needed to rip this band-aid off and start this conversation. We were going to be stuck in this truck for a few hours while and I'd had enough of sitting by silently saying nothing.

“So, you and Rick decided you needed to come along?” I asked, easing into this conversation.

He sighed. “You gotta stop doin' this shit.”

“What shit?”

“Puttin' yerself in danger an' doin' this on yer' own. Ya know yer' not the only one capable” he said flicking his hand dismissively at me.

“I know that. I stepped up because we didn't have time to argue. I could have spent an hour debating the facts with you both but someone had to just call it and make some decisions. I don't doubt Rick's leadership or the group capability, yours included. We just didn't have time to waste. And I know this plan'll work” I said confidently.

“Ya did this before?” he asked.

“Few times. Needed supplies and luring these bastards is the one advantage I had while I was on my own. I wasn't gonna go in and fight them all. I was injured as it was. Didn't need to make it worse.”

Daryl just hummed in agreement. His mono-syllable tones were not the conversation I was envisioning. _This was really going to be a long night._

Behind us a drove of walkers followed after us. As we reached the end of the drive-way I could see most, if not all the walkers were following after us. I was feeling smug. But I wasn't about to jinx it now by saying something about me being right, not yet anyway. If there were a handful of walkers left at the house, the rest of the group would be able to take them out. It certainly looks better than eleven people, one who's a child and one who is pregnant, either driving off at high speeds into the night or fighting to the death. And both of those options seemed stupid to me. I knew of sure fire way to attract the majority, if not all the bastards away from my family.

It was silent for a while, other than me humming along to song playing through the speakers. And surprisingly he was the one to start talking. _Hadn't expected that at all._

“Were ya really gonna leave?” he asked quietly.

“Thought about it more than once” I admitted.

“Because of me?” he sighed.

“Well you weren't exactly welcoming. You all but told me to fuck off. Sue me if I was inclined to start believing it” I breathed.

“Just couldn't get past my anger towards ya”

“Because I said I would go with them and didn't fight them on it?” I asked for confirmation. He nodded. I sighed as I looked back in the rear-view mirror, they were still following us. _Good, I think._ “I didn't want anyone else to get hurt. It was my fault the kid was in danger in the first place. I told him to go get the hatchets from the truck. And Beth...my hot temper got her shot. They had guns on all of us. And they would have killed everyone just for fun, or at least the men and kept the woman for themselves. I knew what I was signing up for, well kinda, I knew what the worst-case scenarios could be. Thankfully rape was off the table I found out later...” I saw Daryl shudder from the corner of my eye. He needed to hear everything, no matter how much it makes him uncomfortable. I was finally getting my chance to tell him what happened. “I know some of it just brings back the anger for you. So, if you want me to stop, I'll stop. But I think some of it you need to hear from me.”

“Were they all...bad?” Daryl hesitated.

“No, most of them were different degrees of bad. But Chris, he was one of the good ones”

“Which one was he? Not the asshole who 'ad a knife to yer' throat?” he growled at the memory. My fingers absent-mindedly going to the scar, Daryl's eye's narrowing on the scar. I dropped my hand back on the steering wheel, _distraction over._

“Chris was the young guy. They tried to send him over to search for weapons, but got gun shy when _someone_ stared him down, he said and I quote _'He's looks like one scary mother-fucker, made me back down real quick'...”_ I chuckled at the memory of Chris. I saw the hint of a smirk of Daryl's face out of the corner of my eye. “He was a good guy. He got me extra food. Tried to protect me as much as could from Luke, without ending up in chains beside me. He never tried anything, except to help me. He helped me escape. He was just with a bad crowd, safety in numbers. He wasn't a violent or cruel man like the others.”

“But the bad ones?” he asked cautiously.

“Well...how much did Rick really tell you? Everything or the tame version?” I asked.

“Everythin' ” he mumbled an edge to his voice.”

Now that I was having this conversation with him I was starting to feel reluctant about telling him the bad things that had happened. I didn't want him to feel guilty or more anger towards me.

“If he told you everything, then you already know...” I guess he just wanted to hear it from me. Maybe he was possibly banking on that what Rick had told him wasn't the truth. I took a deep breath, taking another look in the rear-view mirror, the crowd still large and moaning behind us. “Well it was what Rick told you. The drugged me to get me to compound, three times total. After the first drugging I woke up in the van alone, then there were walkers and a farm and I tried to escape but didn't make it far enough. After being drugged for a third time I woke up in the basement. Then it was rules, intimidation tactics, daily beatings, shock tactics. After two weeks, I think, I said I would follow their rules and go along with the mission because eventually if I didn't break they would have killed me. I played nice, but I knew I was going to escape one way or another. I kept my eyes open looking for opportunities, keeping track of watch schedules, ignoring Luke's advances towards me. Then when walkers broke through the fences. I knew this was the distraction I had been waiting for. While everyone was distracted that night, I made my escape with Chris, and made sure we wouldn't ever have to look over our shoulders again. It’s not something I'm proud of or ever want to have to do again. But its done. The blood on my hands...” I sighed heavily, stopping the truck. I didn't look over to him, I couldn't. I hated repeating this story.

“Ya did what ya had to. No way round it...I really was an asshole when ya got back wasn't I?” he grimaced.

“You didn't make easy. I'm still not sure that you don't get how messed up I am because of what happened. I mean, I thought once I got out I'd be fine. Even...” I gripped the steering wheel a little tighter, “if I didn't find you guys at the trailer park. I thought, yeah, I'd be sad but that would be it. I didn't know how bad it would be. For the first month I'd wake up every night having a nightmare, kinda like the one tonight. I was angry, paranoid, depressed, scared and alone.”

“Where was Chris? Thought ya said he went with ya?”

“He did. We drove straight to the trailer park; well best we could manage. Took us nearly two days to get there. Fucking detours and walkers...” I snarled, “And I knew it was a long shot driving there and finding you all there. I had a feeling you would have moved on. When I got to the trailer park, it had been almost a month since I was taken. I knew the odds. But I found the note on the table and cried like a little girl anyway. Chris left a few days later to search for his family. I picked up your trail and followed it for a month and then lost it. I was just wandering and surviving till I went to scavenge through those shops a few days ago. And then I stumble across a man going through the back of my truck. And then you push your crossbow into my back. Fuck I was mentally scolding myself for not checking the area more thoroughly before I went to scare Rick and then you spoke, I was shocked and thought I had heard wrong. So much so I dropped my gun without even realising it, that's how shocked I was. Then Rick turns around, angry and then grinning like a fucking idiot. And you, you were angry and then had some sort of amnesia. But I couldn't help it I was fucking over the moon to see you both. So, your anger...towards me, when I was back...was that just because I said I would go?” I asked.

“Was easier ta hate ya fer it. I didn't want ta care. It hurt too much when I lost ya before” he said quietly.

“And is it still easier to hate me now?” I ask quietly, my eyes focused on the road.

“I'm here ain't I?” he stated. His tone wasn't dismissive, it was more matter of fact. There was one thing that still bothered me though. And I wasn't sure how he would answer this.

“I know Carol's said there's nothing going on, even though she seemed to love your idea of shoving the two of you together in my face since I got back, and I suspect you had a hand in that also...but am I getting in the way of you...and Carol?” I hesitate. _Fuck I don't know why I ask this shit. Haven't I tormented myself enough?_ I ask myself.

He scoffed at me. “She's just...concerned is all.”

I raised an eyebrow at him. “Yeah...concerned...so she didn't give you an earful about fucking me earlier?”

He huffed at me, rolling his eyes, still not giving me a clear explanation.

“I get you don't wanna talk about your feelings and have no desire to hear me bitch at the moment but you have to know how that made me feel after we'd finished fucking, she calls and you run straight to her. Made me feel like I was just a cheap fuck and that was meant as some sort of closure...” I sighed, “I didn't expect you to hold me all night...I just...it pissed me off when you ran to her. I wasn't jealous...No fuck it! I was jealous and I don't know if I even have the right to be...I don't know” I ended, my eyes still on the road. I was still so worked up, gripping the steering wheel tight. I checked the rear-view mirror to make sure we still had our _tail_ and then flicked my eyes back to the road in front of me. I could see the border of town coming up. But it was gonna take another hour or two to get through town, do some fucking fancy driving, effectively losing our admirers then loop round and high tail it back to the house where everyone would hopefully be or hold up somewhere and wait out while the herd passes. I was going to leave this up to him. I'd made enough decisions for tonight.

“You were jealous?” he smirked.

I scoffed. “That's all you heard from that conversation?”

“No...I just...I was an asshole to ya, especially with the Carol thing. But she wasn't ever competition fer' ya.” He was looking at his hands as he spoke. _Dixon men hated this mushy crap._ “I wanted ya to hurt and I wanted ya gone... I was scared, ok?” he almost growled out and I had to fight the urge to grin like an idiot right now. I knew this was something he would say to someone, rarely if ever. “I shouldn't 'ave just left earlier. I know that was a dick move. I was...I needed ta think.”

Hearing the beating of limbs against the back of the truck I started moving again, getting a little further ahead of the pack, the music still drifting through the cab. As I drove, very slowly, I thought about what he said and what I'd said tonight. We both still had a lot to work through, I'm sure we could both agree on that.

“And did you? Get to think?” I ask

“It's why I came out to ya tonight but you were asleep... Yer nightmares are they always that bad? You were mumblin' and thrashin' round” he said cautiously eyeing me, as I swallowed a little of the fear trying to creep forward inside me.

“Since I left they were always only of Luke or Kane, no one else. They would taunt, tease, torture and then it always ended badly...violently. But this one was different tonight... Shane was there...but the only reason I can think of as to why I thought of him tonight, was earlier, Rick and I were talking and Shane was bought up...I dunno it was really unsettling that's all. Creeped me the fuck out.” I shuddered.

He stays silent, I want to peek and see what expression he has on his face and try work out what he's thinking but I'm too afraid it will be something I don't want to see. He was being his silent self as usual and I couldn’t get a read on him most of the time, he was keeping his emotions in check, unlike me I was as transparent as ever tonight. I guess I was sick of bottling my feelings up.

Now as we drove through the quiet streets of the town, without posse following us behind, we both remained quiet, both seemingly taking in everything that was said tonight. The music still playing through the speakers gave me a few chances to just forget for a few minutes while I sang along to them, amusing Daryl again. I chose to immerse myself in the music for the time being. Bringing me back to when I first started this road-trip, before the apocalypse happened. Music, bad road-side diners, and long stretches of road.

As we neared the edge and a break in the music happened I turned to him and asked, “It's your decision...Do we wait out the herd to pass in one of the buildings on the edge of town? Or do we high-tail it and loop back to the group?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know that seems like a strange place to possibly end the chapter but as always there's a method to my madness. (insert evil laugh here)  
> There was a lot of talking in that chapter, so I hope it all presented well enough and made sense. I think Camille was direct with Daryl, she wasn't going to lie to him, maybe hold a few things back for now, but she let him know the facts. And Daryl....I was trying not to go too fluffy for him...cos he's a man, and men don't share their feelings..blah blah blah...but it was cute enough. And Rick...I missed writing him too. I like the friendship him and Camille have. Its moved away from fatherly and more towards friend.  
> And Carol....what to do about Carol....?  
> Hmmm....how can you bribe me...........?


	39. Nobody's Fault but Mine

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another chapter up for your viewing. Hope everyone likes it. Bit of drama happening this chapter. Maybe being a bit mean to my girl, but hey that's what us writers do, put our characters through hell.  
> Thanks to those people who kudos'd or reviewed. They always mean so much when I get those messages.  
> I'm looking forward to tonight's episode. Hopefully it ain't too sad, although if they can randomly throw walkers in trees forty feet up off the ground, I could deal....  
> Anyway I'm rambling....so Enjoy!!!!!

Looking back in the rear-view mirror I could see the very large herd of walkers that were still stumbling after the truck. I hoped we had distracted enough of the walkers away from the house. It was a risky plan to begin with, I knew that I wasn't as naive as some people might believe. This plan to me seemed like the best option and I guess we would find out when we got back to the house. Naive, no. Impulsive, quite possibly.

 

“So...wait it out or high-tail it?” I asked again as we continued our slow journey the edge of the town in the distance.

Daryl looked over his shoulder, then back to me. “How much gas we got?”

I looked down at the gauge. “Under quarter of a tank, won't get us very far. But there's two full cans’ in the back.”

“If we got the gas, I say get th'fuck outta dodge an' get back.”

“Ok...well I think we should wait till we're a few miles out of town before we try lose them. That way they only got one way to go, straight ahead...” I gestured to the road ahead leading out of town, “not down a bunch of side streets and houses.”

He nodded his confirmation. “Ya got any otha' weapons 'sides the bow?” he gestured to my reclaimed bow sitting in the back seat.

I grinned. “Baretta’s are in the pocket behind my seat and there's a rifle, a few knives, another hand gun and my sniper rifle is under the back-seat.”

He quirked an eyebrow at me. “Sniper rifle?”

“Yeah, its bad ass! Doesn't come close to my bow but it’s a fucking hoot to play with” I grinned.

“A hoot?” he smirked.

“Yes Dixon. I had to adapt since I didn't have my bow anymore. Probably a good thing too, hands still fucked up” I said flexing my previously injured hand.

“What 'appened to it?” he asked.

“Machete. Got surprised by a walker when I was scouting a house. Walker feel out of the closet, landed on top of me. I had the sense to use the machete to keep it from biting my face off and unfortunately for me I had the blade side down. Sliced into my palm, healed ok but the nerves are pretty fucked up still. Its uncomfortable to draw the string back. At least my wrists seem to feel better. I dunno...think it’s just gonna take some time” I said still flexing the hand before placing it back on the steering wheel.

“Yer' wrists...that from when they chained ya up?” he said, an edge in his voice. I ignored it, it wasn't directed at me, I knew that.

I nodded. “Three or four days...was starting to lose track. I didn't help in the matter either, kept pulling on them, trying to break free. Knew it was no good but did it anyway. Just wasn't ready to give up. No matter how fucked I knew I was...” I trailed off. I could hear the taunting from Luke inside my head, his asking me questions and when I answered them or didn't answer them, another kick or punch to somewhere on my body. My hands gripping the steering wheel tighter, I shook my head to get rid of the images.

“Ya don't 'ave ta talk bout it, if it...if ya don't wanna” he said cautiously.

I smiled, more to myself. “Hard to forget. I start talking before my mind thinks about it and then a flash of a memory pops into my head and I freeze. Kinda like I did the other day in the woods” I said glancing over to Daryl, the dark night shielding the expression that may have ghosted his face. “I was fine for a bit, head felt clear, then I felt you following me and it bought me back to the day I was taken. They'd stopped at a farm, I think, didn't have time to scout the place, think it was to change over vehicles. Anyway, I woke up alone in the back of the van, heard the walkers and decided that was probably going to be my only chance to escape. I bolted, ran straight for the woods, hands still bound. They chased me down, circled and corralled me. I had two choices; walk back or they'd drag me back. Surrounded by four of those pricks I had no choice, so I walked back. That was the memory giving me the panic attack in the woods that day. My mind kept telling me it was Luke and Kane after me, even though I knew they weren't.”

“Me, Rick n' Carl found th'farm, day later. Saw the van, dead walkers, a dead man but you were gone already” he said quietly as he looked out the window.

I sighed in acknowledgement. “Rick didn't say anything about the farm, just that you guys looked. Did he say how far they'd taken me?” I asked. Daryl nodded. “It's why it took me two days to get back to the trailer park. A lot of big cities and towns to avoid and detour around.”

 

 

We had just passed through the edge of town and the houses were starting to thin out. The mass of bodies still following us. Which to me, was half a miracle in itself. _Not that I didn't expect this plan to work, some things still surprised me regardless._

“So, what happened to my bow?” I asked trying to keep a conversation going and I needed the distraction from the last topic.

“What'd ya mean?” he huffed.

“The cable's been replaced”

“Oh...um Carl took it one day, an' was playin' round with it and broke it. Bought it back ta me to fix, cos he didn't want ta get inta trouble with 'is parents. I yelled at 'im an' then he helped me fix it. Promised he wouldn't play with it again” Daryl smirked.

“You yelled at the poor kid?” I questioned.

“Yeah. He shouldn't ave been playin' with it. He knew that” Daryl shrugged. “He talked a lot 'bout you while we fixed it” he smiled.

 _Cute. Both of them._ I smiled to myself. “Yeah kid's delusional and thinks I'm going to teach him to be a ninja. I think he's over-estimating my skills to be honest” I chuckled.

“Nah yer good with him. He actually listens to ya, unlike mostly everyone else. I saw ya teachin' him by the river, kid might not be a ninja but he'll be better off” Daryl replied. _Well shit, that sounded like a compliment if I do say so myself._ It seemed to warm my insides. A feeling I hadn't felt in a while.

 

 

We had driven about five miles out of town, the herd of walkers still following us, the music still drawing them towards us. Since we had left the border of the town, both of us remained silent. But I still found myself singing along to it without even realising sometimes. I needed a break from talking and I was sure he was probably digesting some of the information I'd told him. Some of it I probably should have kept it to myself, I wasn't trying to make him angrier or feel any more guilt than he already did feel about the situation but it lifted some of the weight from my shoulders. He'd said Rick had told him everything but I had a feeling Rick had glossed over some of the details, more for Daryl's benefit. Maybe I should have held some of it back...but it was too late now. And there were still going to be things I was going to hold back, the seduction of Luke for one. That moment meant nothing to me and disgusted me more than anything but it was information he could live without, I didn't count that part as a significant detail, the part where I killed him was, that part I told.

 

I shut the radio off and Daryl's eyes snapped over to me. I think the action surprised him more than anything.

“Ready to get the fuck outta here and leave these assholes behind?” I motioned behind me to the herd of walkers. He nodded and I gave one last look in the rear-view mirror before I sped up, the herd of walkers disappearing in the distance.

“One condition... 'm drivin' us back” he said, the hint of a command in his tone.

“Sounds good to me. Fuckin' sick of driving” I replied. I wasn't about to argue with him. I was exhausted after this long night.

 

It had been several minutes since the herd had disappeared in the rear-view mirror. And as I drove we both of us scanning the area, looking for the best and safest spot to pull over while we refuelled and switched seats.

 

 

Well this was as good as it was going to get, as far as places to pull over that is. We needed to be quick about this, as we didn't need to have unwanted company slowing us down while we refuelled.

Daryl was out, the second I had stopped, I'd hardly got my seatbelt off before he had flicked his torch on and was halfway round the truck to find the gas cans in the back. I shut the truck off, leaned forward to pop the cap for the gas. Stepping outside I quickly surveyed the area, looking for the unwanted company that we both knew would turn up sooner or later. On both sides of the road were huge open fields with tall grass, at least waist high. The good thing is we would more than likely see them coming but the downside was they could move more silently through the grass. At least when they're in the woods, there's all those pesky sticks and twigs to signal their arrival. Grass unfortunately didn't make much noise.

 

The general area seemed void of walkers for now but we knew that several miles behind us was a swarm of them walking in our direction. I had grabbed the knife from my boot and held it tight in my hand, while Daryl started to pour the gas into the tank. I missed the sounds of the woods, small critters and the sound of the wind blowing through the trees.

 

Heavy feet dragged along the dirt, the sound alerting both Daryl and I. Daryl held up one finger and pointed to the other side of the truck. I nodded and moved quietly to the other side. I took a few steps away from the truck, _always paranoid hands were going to drag me under the truck one day_. Cloud had drifted over the moon earlier, now blocking the much-needed light I needed. I held the knife ready as I pushed forward, stepping towards the edge of the road. I really didn't want to venture any further and I know Daryl would say the same to me. I could feel his eyes on my back, keeping watch over me. As I adjusted my eyes in the darkness I could make out a lone figure walking towards me. I waited for it to come closer. As it stepped out of the field it stumbled towards me picking up its pace slightly and moaning at me. I took a few steps backwards, getting closer to the truck.

“Shit” I heard Daryl curse, then a thud as it sounded like a body hitting the ground. I wanted to look back over my shoulder to check on him but the dark night would block him from my vision. I hoped Daryl was ok but I had to get rid of this walker before I could check on him.

“You ok?” I called, keeping my eyes on the advancing walker.

“Fine” he replied a little breathlessly.

I side-stepped the walker as it tried to reach for me, turning the face the walker I pushed its body against the truck with a thud. It growled and snapped its jaw at me. I raised my knife ready to plunge it into the skull of the walker, when something grabbed my wrist, preventing me from killing the pissed off walker I had pressed against the truck. I could hear the growling from behind me now.

“Fuck! Daryl!” I growled as I struggled against both walkers. Daryl appeared just as I was calling for him, he seemed to have been coming my way even before I called for him. I heard him plunge his knife into the walker still gripping my wrists. Its grip on me slackened slightly, but still holding on, I tried to yank it free, while still holding the other agitated walker back with my other arm. With another yank, I freed my wrist and finally swung the knife burying the blade in the skull. Pulling it free the body slumped to the ground in front of me. I breathed out a sigh of relief. _Just another fucking night._

“You alright?” Daryl asked as I turned to face him. He searched my face for any fear that remained, then quickly did a quick sweep of my body, more than likely looking for injuries. Not that he would be able to see much in the dark, he did it anyway, a force of habit I guessed.

I nodded. “Yeah...Ready to get the fuck outta dodge?” I sighed.

“Yeah c'mon” he jerked his head to the truck. I wiped the blade on the dead walker’s shirt and placed it back in my boot. While Daryl placed the empty can of fuel in the back I jumped into the passenger seat. _Grass, who knew that would make the walkers stealthy like a god damn ninja?_

 

 

“You should get some sleep” he suggested.

“Nah I can stay awake, keep ya company” I offered, blinking a few times, pushing back the tiredness. I'd done longer stints on fuck all sleep in the past.

“No. Yer' beat. Been drivin' all night, yer nightmare earlier. Ya need some sleep”

“That your way of saying I look like shit Dixon?” I laughed.

“No. It's me tellin' ya need some sleep. Polite an' all” he smiled.

“With the detour its gonna be at least another hour 'fore we're home, I can sleep when we're back” I said glancing over at the fuel gauge, which at a more respectable level now.

“Sleep...ok?”

“It's easy to say that...but sleep is half my problem.” I sighed.

“Nightmares?” he questioned cautiously.

I nodded. “It's why I sleep fuck all nowadays.”

“I'll drive an' you just rest then?”

 

 

Daryl's hand squeezing mine woke me from my sleep, before he placed his hand back on the steering wheel. “Almost home” he said in a low voice. I rubbed the hand over my eyes and stretched to work out some of the kinks, feeling slightly rested. Which surprised me as I hadn't expected to fall asleep at all. _Huh...no nightmares. Well that's a bonus._

The sun was starting to rise and as we drove along the road leading up to the house, there weren't any walkers. That had to be a good sign, right? Maybe we led all those dead bastards away. As we turned on to the driveway we were met with a scene that looked...almost desolate. There were half a dozen walkers scattered about the property, just wandering around. They didn't seem to be interested at all in the house which was a relief. And the vehicles were still there, so that at least meant our family were there.

I reached over the back-seat for my bow. “Huntin' time” I grinned. Daryl shook his head at me as he placed the truck in park and turned it off.

 

Three walkers immediately started off towards us, the headlights catching their attention and possibly the engine from the truck. And as soon as I shut the door, the remaining walkers turned towards us.

Daryl and I made short work of the walkers, taking them out before they get too close. I missed three times, one shot missing the walker completely. I wasn't used to being so off my game. I was cursing each time and getting more frustrated. My hand giving me grief with each shot. I really hoped this was temporary, permanent damage just wasn't an option, not anymore and not in this world.

 

“Let's take a lap round the house, make sure nothing else is hiding in the shadows” I suggest. Daryl gives a curt nod, reloading his crossbow and taking point, while I followed. I shrugged off the doubt I was having. _Nerves heal, slowly but they'll heal._

 

I stayed a few feet behind Daryl, a bolt loaded in the string. It reminded me when we were back at the trailer park and checking the perimeter the day I was taken. How I couldn't stop staring at his ass and generally just checking him out. And then the impromptu head by one of the trailers, how he'd resisted at first, well at least tried to put up the front he wanted to resist, but deep down wanting it as bad as I did.

“Yer doin' it again” Daryl smirked.

I chuckled, once again being caught day-dreaming. “Doing what?” I played the innocent card.

Daryl stopped and peered over his shoulder, raising an eyebrow at me, silently telling me this wasn't the time to fuck around, _so to speak._ “Yes sir” I mumble, saluting to him. He carried on ahead and I kept focused this time as we went around the house. Nothing was lurking in the shadows as we made our way back round to the front of the house.

 

With the threat eliminated for now, the yard and perimeter cleared of any upright walkers, their bodies littering the yard instead. I walked up to the front door and it was locked up tight. _That's right, forgot I had told him to bar the doors._ I took a step back, Daryl was peering through the window looking for Rick and the others. I pounded loudly on the door, making Daryl jump. “Rick? Rick?” I yelled through the door. Daryl was now looking out to the yard, cringing each time I yelled out. I knew this could spark some unwanted attention but it wasn't like we had cell phones to tell them to come out.

I had stopped to listen, pressing my ear against the door. I could hear movement inside, furniture being moved and quiet voices.

“We're back. All good out here” I spoke quieter this time to the door, and hoping I wasn't talking to thin air.

The door handle jiggled before it swung open, Rick looking a little haggard. He too must have had a long night, worrying I guessed.

“Holy shit, you guys ok?” Rick breathed.

“Yeah, all good. How'd you guys hold up?” I ask, as Glenn, Maggie and Hershel appeared behind him.

“Was a long night. But we made it through. Looks like they followed after you” Rick said as we walked out to the yard and he saw the lack of walkers and a few walker bodies.

“Like you doubted me” I smirked.

 

 

It was early morning now, the sun just starting to rise, everyone was just starting to file out from the house, everyone looked like they hadn't had a good night's sleep either. It was going to make for a brutal day, whatever was in store for us. I wasn't about to hope we could have a break today because the likelihood of that happening after I hope for it; would be when it would all turn to shit.

 

“I guess I should be thanking you for the escort” I chuckled quietly, flicking my eyes over to Daryl, who had walked back over to the truck.

“Escort?” he waggled his eyebrows at me, “Wasn't sure he was on the clock”

“Don't be an ass Grimes” I growled quietly.

“Someone had to make sure you'd come back” he sighed.

“Was always coming back. Told ya I wasn't running away” I smiled.

 

I watched as Carol ran towards Daryl and hugged him tight as she muttered how worried she was about him. He assured her he was fine and ended the hug, stepping back a step, she frowned at this. I wasn't sure if he did it for my benefit or because the man hated public displays of affection, friend or otherwise. _I'm not jealous, I'm not jealous, I'm not jealous,_ I repeated over in my head. Thankfully I could keep my face neutral and tried my best to ignore it and look somewhere else. I'm glad I got to talk to Daryl finally but I still felt uneasy about Carol. He'd said she wasn't competition but she sure as hell was trying her damnedest to be a contender. _This is ridiculous fighting over a guy, but I wasn't about to roll over either, unless he said otherwise, then I'd back off._ I was wondering when the blame game would start, and which topic she would choose. I could see her eyeing me from the corner of her eye. I knew she was planning to say something. And how defensive I became, depended on what she was going to say. I needed to keep my cool, no matter how much she lashes out.

 

I looked away from them and focused on the group. I could see Lori smirking in my direction, obviously having seen Daryl and Carol. I had to resist the urge to step closer to her husband, just to piss her off. But I was too tired to deal with this shit, as much as she deserved it sometimes. I walked off towards the truck, thinking of what the next move would be. To stay or to go.

 

 

“Think we should move on...” Daryl said, glancing out to the woods every few seconds. He was very tense presently and had been since we had been back. And I had to agree with him, this place was compromised now. _Not that there were a lot of vacant safe places around these days._

“Agreed. Where to ya reckon?” Rick asked.

“I think I might have place in mind” I said, waving a map and then laying it on the hood of the truck. “I passed through this town...” I pointed to the mark on the map, “two days before I came across you guys in town. Main street was too exposed...but there's a fire-station near the edge of town. Fairly new, no damage from what I could see and those big metal doors looked like great barriers.”

“Why didn't ya stay there yerself'?” Daryl asked.

“Decided to travel further that day. And I wasn't one for staying in buildings while I was on my own. Worried I was gonna wake up and be robbed blind. I kept an eye out for places to stay, if I ever needed to.”

“Walkers?” Rick asked.

“Same as anywhere, they're there. Wasn't a herd of them around if that's what you're asking. Don't know the situation inside the fire-station, but I think it could be somewhere we could stay protected. Keep our vehicles off the street.”

“What if its over-run?” Carol asked “We'd have nowhere to go, after driving half the day.”

“Took me just over an hour to drive between there and here. Roads were clear. It's worth checking out” I said rolling my eyes. I knew what she was trying to do and I wasn't going to play into it. _At least not yet._

“That was over a week ago” Lori huffed. I rolled my eyes again. _Stop trying to fucking undermine me! Both of you!_ This was pathetic. Clearly both Carol and Lori were on their bandwagon to roll me out of here. I was really trying to hold in my smart-ass comments.

“And what? You'd rather stay here where a herd just passed through last night? You want to stay here after that?” Rick exasperated.

“We can't stick around here after all those walkers came through” Glenn added.

“ _She_ ” Lori pointed her finger at me angrily, “is a danger to all of us. She killed nine people for god's sake!” she was almost yelling now. _Just keep a straight face and try not to punch her._ I don't consider myself a violent person by nature but these two women were goading me into it.

Everyone seemed to stay quiet, their eyes flitting between Lori and me. I'd kept a straight face throughout the entire outburst, even though I was raging on the inside. I didn't want to buy into this.

“Lori!” Rick hissed.

“Lori's right. I don't feel safe with _her_ around anymore” Carol added stepping forward. _I wondered when they were going to bring out the pitchforks and the burning torches._

“Camille did what she had to, to survive” Hershel said casting me a glance. I was a little surprised and grateful, as I wasn't sure Hershel approved of what I had done and we had still yet to have a proper talk since I'd been back.

“So, that just excuses her for what she did?” Carol questioned narrowing her eyes at me.

Lori came to stand beside Carol, the smallest of smirks on her face, directed at me. _Great...just great. Fucking bandwagon._ Everyone else seemed to have gone silent again, all seeming to be a little shocked or waiting to see how it played out. I was a little shocked but I had expected some sort of outburst at some point, from Carol at least. My eyes landed on Daryl and his face looked confused as he stared at Carol. Rick was about to step forward and say something further in the matter, when I extended my arm out to stop him. I didn't need him to fight my battles. As much as I did appreciate his support.

“Get your hands off my husband!” Lori snarled. I almost laughed at how absurd she sounded right now. _Almost._

“It's fine Rick” I said flatly, “If you've got something to say, say it? If people want me gone, then let them speak.” I directed to Lori and Carol.

“You killed nine people!” Lori said

“I'm aware” I said flatly, “And I know you're aware of why I did that too. You think I made that decision lightly? You think I wanted to do that? And it’s not like I came out unscathed from it either” I said defensively, my voice still calm though. I wasn't going to let this slide, not this time. _And technically it was ten people if you counted the guy I killed on the day I got taken, a nice shot with a bolt through the neck...but I wasn't about to correct her. Nine was bad enough, we didn't need to amend it just now._

“And there wasn't another way?” she scoffed, a hint of sarcasm in her voice.

“No there wasn't, as I already had said previously. If I had escaped and they were still alive, they would have hunted me down till I was dead. I didn't want to spend the rest of my life looking over my shoulder and I sure as shit wasn't going to bring that burden with me if I found you all!” I was barely holding back the tears that were threatening to fall. I needed to hold it together, just until I could walk away.

“You shouldn't have come back” Lori said in a low voice. It was deathly quiet. No one else dared to say another word. That didn't piss me off like it should. They didn't want to take sides, at least that was how I was looking at it. I didn't blame them either, I certainly didn't want to be in the middle of this either.

“Maybe you're right” I growled, turned and walked away. I didn't wait for anyone to follow and I didn't look over my shoulder to see if anyone was. I didn't want to set myself up for disappointment when I would see no one following me.

I made a beeline straight for the truck. I opened the back door, grabbed my bow and stalked off towards the back of the property. The tension with both women was going to boil over sooner or later, I knew that and it couldn't have been avoided. They didn't care about what happened to me, just what I had done. That's all they saw. I didn't really believe they were right but I was sick of defending myself to these people that I had once considered family. Some I still did, others...well those bridges had a lot of mending to do before I would consider either of them my family. Silent tears ran down my cheeks as I stalked off towards the perimeter.

 

 

I sat on a log near the edge of the property, the house was still in view behind me. The tears had dried against my cheeks as I watched the tree-line. I had half a mind to just disappear into the woods. But I was stubborn as hell and I wasn't going anywhere. Like I said to Rick earlier I wasn't running away anymore. Like it or lump it, these people were my family. It would take time to mend the fences broken. But if the rest of the group didn't turn on me I would see this through. _A sucker for punishment as always._

 

 

I heard the footsteps approaching and knew it would one of two people.

“Well that was awkward” I sighed, not bothering to check who it was.

“They shouldn't 'ave said what they did” Daryl grunted.

“They've got a right to their opinions. But to them, it doesn't matter what happened to me, only matters what I did. I didn't want to throw people under the bus to get my way either. It's not like I'm the only one who's had to kill one of the living to survive this world. But naming names, wasn't going to help my case...I don't know...I got half a mind to leave. If they feel that strongly...wouldn't it just be easier if I left?” I dropped my head, hiding the new tears starting to form in my eyes. _I guess I really was the black sheep of the family now. Sure, on some level I had put myself there but it was something I really had hoped would pass. Maybe it still would?_

“Ya ain't leavin', just got ya back” he said, his voice becoming a little panicked.

“And up until yesterday you thought the same” I said a little deflated.

“Didn't want ya ta leave” he mumbled.

“But you weren't exactly wanting me to stay either” I sighed.

“Ya ain't leavin', not again” he growled.

I smiled. This was the closest he would come to saying he wanted me to stay, whether it was for the group's sake or his own. “Said I had half a mind to, the other half I'm actually listening to. Just thought...just thought I would get some space. Otherwise I'd probably end up screaming at someone. And screaming at a pregnant lady wouldn't do me any favours” I sighed, my bow resting between my legs. This was my piece of home, my old one at least. And I guess Daryl was part of the new home, some of the others too I guess.

“Ya ain't runnin'?” he asked again.

“No Dixon. I'm not” my voice a little shaky.

 

He stood there for a few minutes behind me, his eyes coming back to me after he did a quick scan of the woods.

“Told ya I ain't running Dixon. I mean it. You don't have to play babysitter” I smiled to myself.

“Ain't yer' babysitter” he mumbled, “We're leavin' in bout 'n hour ta check out th'fire-station. Everyone thinks it’s our best lead.” he informed me. I doubted not everyone was on board for that plan, well two people at least.

“Ok, I'll come help pack, just gimme ten minutes. Promise I ain't runnin' ” I forced a smile as I looked back over my shoulder to him. He was only standing a few feet away, his eyes for once not looking at the trees but instead were focused on his boots. He waited a few more minutes before heading back towards the house. I just needed a few extra minutes to figure this out in my head. I feel like over the past few days since I've been back my head had been so occupied with everyone else's judgements, I've hardly had any time to think about what I really feel about the situation.

I guess in an ideal world **all** my family would have welcomed me back with open arms, not caring about what I had to do to escape, that it was the right choice for the time. But this isn't a fairy-tale, shit happens unfortunately. Like I had said to Rick yesterday, I don't regret telling him the whole truth, not even when his wife was running her mouth like she was, I still didn't regret it.

Mending fences with Lori and Carol would make things easier for everyone but it wasn't going to happen overnight. And no doubt I still would have to be the one to plead and ask for forgiveness. _Because it doesn't matter what I told them, actions have consequences. Apparently, these were mine. Ambushed by the desperate housewives,_ I smirked to myself.

 

 

I'd sat out here for a while now and Daryl had left about twenty minutes ago, so I knew I better get a move on before I walk back and find I'm alone again.

 

I was close the back of the house now, when Carol appeared in front of me, arms folded across her chest and a hard look on her face. _Round two I'm guessing._

“You know you're no good for him” Carol sharply said.

“And why is that Carol?” _I guess the villagers were gathering the pitchforks and torches..._

“You know exactly why. He was just starting to be happy again before you showed up. _I_ helped him and since you came back, its undone it all!”

“I'm sure you did help. But he can make his own mind up. If he doesn't want me around anymore he can just say and I'll leave if that's what he wants but until then I'm not going anywhere” I sighed. These conversations were starting to wear thin on me. I was sick of having to _prove_ I still belonged here. It's not like no one else has killed someone since the dead started walking around. I get my situation is extreme but it's not like I plan to go on a murder spree in the future nor do I have the urge to. I'd like to forget that whole incident but I can't forget and people keep reminding me every five god damn minutes, so it makes it kinda hard to move on from it.

“You keep feeding him poison, whispering it in his ear, trying to get him to stay away from me” Carol sneered.

“Bit rich coming from you, isn't it?” I questioned.

“Oh, so you don't deny it?” Carol smirked.

I was about to reply when at that moment, Lori decided to make her presence known, coming to step beside Carol. _Women united against the cause,_ I sardonically thought.

“Carol's right. He was doing so much better before you turned up. And then the minute you show up, he reverts to his old self. I'm sure even _you_ could see that” Lori said but I could tell that the words were laced with poison.

“As I said before if Daryl wants me gone he can say. Same as everyone else. So, excuse me if I don't take _your_ word for it” I sighed.

“Stay away from my husband too...I've seen you trying to cosy up to him...What? You've sunk you're hooks into Daryl and think you can have Rick too?” she snarled.

“You've got to be kidding me” I snorted, “I am not after your husband.”

“Don't think I haven't seen you two together!” Lori said stepping forward.

“Talking. That's it. Stop trying to make something out of nothing...So what exactly are you wanting to say?” I said, my patience starting to fade.

“Daryl's better off without you. You attract chaos. You're a danger to me, my family and everyone else.  And we think you should leave” the poison still dripping in her voice.

“I'll leave when I'm good and ready” I said stepping around them and walking back to the front of the house. It wasn't a threat, I was just sick of being pushed around. I wasn't going to say anything about this to the group either, they didn't need to hear this drama, these two were already causing enough. I just need to take it on the chin, hold my head up high. _And probably should take up meditation, fucking Wu-sa!_ I smirked to myself

 

 

Rick stopped me as I walked towards my truck. I'd been hoping to avoid him, since the incident with Carol and Lori. As much as they both pissed me off I didn't want to start a feud where everyone would have to pick sides. I wanted to be the bigger person here.

“Why didn't you tell me what Carol and Lori said to you?” he asked, slightly annoyed.

“Didn't see the point.” I shrugged.

“Why not? Don't tell me you believe the shit they were sayin'?” he hissed.

“How'd you find out anyway?” I asked trying to pull my arm back from his grasp.

“Carl”

“Carl? How'd he know?”

“He over-heard them talking to you. And then he came straight to me. And you didn't answer my question before...?” he said softer this time.

“I didn't see the point in _accusing_ them. Because that's what it would have looked like to anyone else, like I was being petty. I kept my mouth shut. Maybe they're right about some it...I dunno...Carol's warning me off Daryl and _your_ wife is warning me off you. Then it was the _we don't trust you_ and _you killed nine people speech._ I practically said nothing to them, hardly gave them a response, which I think that was what they were hoping for...for me to lash out and prove their points. I told them the facts. But it doesn't matter they already have their minds made up.” Rick sighed, letting my arm go and running his hand through his hair. From the corner of my eye I could see Lori watching us. I just rolled my eyes. “We'll talk about it later. Just don't go off at Lori, she'll throw another tantrum thinking I cried wolf to you. I'm good ok Rick?”

“Yeah” he sighed, not looking too happy about it.

“I'm good Rick, I swear...So, fire-station? You think it sounds good?” I asked, trying to change the subject.

“Yeah, sounds promising. It could be somewhere to hold up over the winter. Hopefully its secure enough” he added.

“Well that's what I thought, if those doors are good, I think it would be secure. Hopefully it isn't too bad on the inside. And if all goes well we might be able to have a good night's rest. What's the likelihood they have working showers?” I asked smiling.

“We had 'em at our station, fire department surely has to have them, living quarters too I reckon” he said hopefully.

“That's what I like to hear”

“Before we all go in though, few of us will go scout it, make sure its safe, then we'll bring everyone in. I want you with me on that, that all good?” he asked.

I nodded. “No problem officer. But _your_ wife...she's going to think I put you up to it. Just don't make a big deal about what she said, alright?”

“Don't worry bout her. I'll deal with it” he said placing his hand on my arm and giving it a small squeeze.

 

Lori was still watching the exchange between Rick and I, Carol glaring in my direction as well. And if I had to bet on it, Lori seeing the exchange between Rick and I wasn't going to help my situation either. To everyone else it would look like exactly what it was, a friend talking to another friend. And to Lori it would look totally different. As Rick turned to walk away, Lori dropped her gaze and carried on taking the bag she was holding to the car. _Fucking subtle._

 

 

The rest of the group was packing the remaining items into the vehicles. As I looked around I realised I was still riding alone at this stage. I placed my bow in the back-seat. And went to start packing away everything.

 

“Got room for two more?” I heard Glenn ask, distracting me from trying to tie down the tarp in the back.

I turned to face him and Maggie, a smile on my face. I had fully expected to ride alone. “Of course” I replied tying the last rope down. Glenn and Maggie both placed their weapons and a bag in the back-seat. Everything was secured and ready for the journey.

 

 

As everyone had finished up packing we all gathered round the Prius. Rick standing out in front to address the group.

 

“When we're about five miles out, we're goin' to split up into two groups, Daryl, Glenn, Camille and myself will clear the fire-station; everyone else will stay back and wait for us, we'll radio through when it's clear. We'll check in fifteen minutes after we leave. Camille's going to leading the way till we pull over. So any problems, honk your horn. Alright everyone set?” Rick asked as he looked round to everyone in the group. Everyone nodded or said their agreements before heading off to their vehicles.

 

 

“Urgh I hate this song” Glenn declared as he changed the song on the radio.

“It’s a classic” I laughed.

“To you maybe. To the rest of us...it’s terrible” he grinned.

“You're really just trying to tell me it’s my singing, aren't you?” I chuckled.

“No...not at all” the grin still on his face.

“Can't be any worse than yours” Maggie chimed in from the back, poking Glenn in the shoulder.

“Daryl never complained about it” I said without thinking.

“I'm sure he didn't” Glenn giggled beside me. “Soooo...have you two made up then?” Glenn asked. _Always so nosey._

“You mean other than Carol telling me to back off...Yeah mostly...I think” I replied.

“She an' Lori really have it in for ya” Maggie commented.

“Can't believe some of the stuff they said before” Glenn added.

“Yeah, I don't know how I can mend those fences. Don't even know if I can. You saw how bad it was before...And that wasn't even the worst of it” I muttered the last part to myself. “I get why they would think some of it. I mean shit I did, was pretty....crazy but as I said to Daryl earlier they only care about the what, not the why it happened. And then the icing on the cake is the _stay away from Daryl and Rick_ speech I got.

“They think you want Rick?” Maggie scoffed.

“That's the word on the street” I shook my head in disbelief.

“Man, that's just fucked up” Glenn sighed.

“You're telling me...I think I'm just gonna avoid them for a few days. No need to get anymore confrontations, two was more than enough today...I just don't want to stir anymore shit. If I push back, might get the others on board with them, if they aren't already” I sighed.

“As far as I know it's just them. Rick got vocal after you left, so did T and Daryl. I think everyone else were just shocked to be honest.” Glenn said trying to reassure me.

“Yeah, Daddy wasn't happy 'bout the way it ended with the kidnappers but he knew why you did it. He didn't think you should be cast out for it. Beth was the same.” Maggie added.

“I remember before I found you guys I always thought about what you'd all say when I told ya what had happened. Most of the time I thought you'd toss me out on my ass. But if ya didn't, I knew not everyone was going to be happy with it. Shit, I'm not. But...I had no other choice...Look I'm not trying to sway you both over to _my_ side...” I trailed off.

“We didn't think that. Just wanted you to know we thought it wasn't everyone's thoughts, what they said about you” Glenn smiled.

“Thanks...both of you. I know I've been isolating myself a lot since I've been back. It's not that I don't want to part of the family again...it's just hard to feel like I belong anymore. I'm getting there...slowly” I flashed a quick smile to both of them. I glanced back in the rear-view mirror, the rest of the caravan following behind us.

“We get it. It's why we haven't been pushin', you'll come to your senses sooner or later” Maggie chuckled.

“Thanks Greene” I smirked, focusing back on the road ahead.

 

 

The rest of the trip went by quite fast. Glenn had the map and was keeping track of how close we were to the town. The roads had been clear, like I'd said, a few walkers stumbling beside the road and the odd vacant car. When we were close to five miles out, he let me know and I put my indicator on, letting the group know we were pulling over, the other vehicles pulling over as well.

 

The area we had pulled off to was a rest stop set back off the road, it provided some cover from the road, while the others waited. It wasn't too enclosed in with the trees but it would do while we checked out the fire-station.

 

I shut the truck off and stepped out, stretching as I did, driving for the last hour had me a bit stiff. But I think that was also some of last night's driving catching up with me too and the little sleep I'd had. But I wasn't about to let this affect my performance today. I needed to be alert and ready. Everyone started to gather, I stayed closer to my truck, still within earshot, as Rick started to give out the orders.

 

“We're taking your truck” Rick indicated to me, I just gave a nod of agreement, still avoiding Looks from both Lori and Carol. I could feel both looking my way but I wasn't going to let them distract me right now. That could wait for later when I'm sure they would try corner me again and warn me off. The _warning me off_ was probably they thing that made me want to burst out into laughter the most. It all just sounded so juvenile. 

 

“T, you're in charge, everyone keep alert. And remember we'll radio in fifteen. Alright let's move” Rick commanded, Daryl Glenn and Rick making their way over to my truck. I was going to drive, well I assumed so, since I knew where the fire-station was and it was my vehicle. Rick hadn't said otherwise, so I immediately got in the driver's side and waited for the others to get in.

 

 

“God that was a long drive” Rick groaned. I wasn't sure I wanted to ask, I shot him a look raising my eyebrow at him. He just nodded in response. _Unlucky Rick._

“Could have been worse, could have had to listen to _her_ sing all the way” Glenn piped up from the back. I sighed shaking my head, glaring at Glenn in the rear-view. I'm sure I heard Daryl chuckle behind me.

“As opposed to you gossiping” I shot back with a grin.

 

 

As we drove into the town, we noticed the lack of walkers around, only one or two wandering around every block or so. You never knew if this was a good sign or bad omen of things to come. Walkers were inevitable, we knew that. But we never knew how long we would have to wait for them to show. Because sooner or later they would.

 

I slowed as we got a few blocks away from the fire-station. Everyone was keeping their eyes open for threats, alive or dead. It was still quiet as we approached it.

When we were a block away I slowed right down, wanting to come up on it very slowly, scope it out before we started to make some noise. One of the fire-trucks were parked outside, doors open, it looked to have been raided. So, we'd have to assume there wouldn't be much in the way of supplies. Supplies would have been a bonus, we needed shelter first. And with the abundance of vacant houses around us, we could scavenge through those to find supplies. The one draw back I saw was not having the woods next to us. I always felt safer with the woods close by.

 

 

Pulling up to the fire-station, only a single walker stumbled around outside. As soon as I put the truck in park, Daryl was the first to jump out, crossbow raised and seconds later pulling the trigger and releasing the bolt, the walker slumping to the ground, before any of us had even got out of the truck. Rick passed me my bow and I grabbed the Baretta and an extra clip, the silencer already screwed on. I shouldered the bow, pocketed the keys and grabbed a flash-light from my pocket in the door.

 

“You all good?” Rick asked, stepping beside me.

“Let's just get this over and done with” I grimaced, the brief conversation about earlier bugging me slightly, I knew there was more he was probably going to say about it later. I shook my head getting myself focused again. _Get your head in the game girl._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So my favourite line was the desperate housewives line. That one made me laugh a lot! And so much drama going on this chapter I know. Carol and Lori have turned extra bitchy this chapter. I have a few ideas on how to get Carol back, Lori I'm thinking that sniper training for Carl will be a perfect...I'm so mean and slightly vindictive. Its funny because in the show I love Carol but in my story I hate her lol. Oh to be a writer!  
> As always love to hear what you guys thought!!! They are wonderful bribes :D


	40. Fire Water Burn

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Holy crap I can't believe this is Chapter 40! I love everyone who's stuck with me so far or have just joined me for this fun ride (the Daryl Dixon rollercoaster...yes please!)  
> Big thanks to those who commented this chapter and kudos'd. Had some really awesome comments this chapter, which always, always made my day!!!  
> Short chapters...who the heck wants those...I amuse myself how much more I write now. Can't seem to stop.  
> Think some of you will get a kick out of this chapter. Alot going on, a lot of conversing but some things just need to be said. *cough Carol cough* Maybe some smut towards the end....shhh!  
> Also next chapter might be slightly delayed, as I'm going to be moving, among a few other things, I'll still be writing but this also depends when I have internet.  
> Anyway hope you guys enjoy this chapter. Love to hear what you think.

_Ok, in and out. Just a quick scout, clear the place of any walkers. Then you can have a nice quiet night, hopefully catching a few more hours sleep. And hopefully somewhere comfier than the back-seat of the damn truck...oh I wonder if they'll have showers? Do you know how long I've been waiting to have a shower? What I wouldn't give to be clean again. I wonder if the water would be hot..._

“Camille? You with us?” Rick asked, bringing me out of my daze. Daryl had stepped back from the garage after peering in and was now looking back at me too.

 _Whoops._ “Sorry, zoned out, was giving myself a pep talk.” I mumbled.

“If you wanna sit this one out and wait out...”

I cut him off. “No fucking way, not being side-lined. I'm fine” I growled, slightly annoyed, walking off ahead of the three men. I hated because I was the girl, they underestimated me, tried to coddle me and it just fucked me off more. They all knew I was more than capable, hell I'd been on my own enough. But still the instinct to pull me back and protect me lingered.

 

Taking the safety off I glanced left and right, looking for any threats, walking down the path towards the front door. I knew it would probably be more of a pain to get in through the garage door as they would be more than likely locked from the inside and who knew how much noise they would make.

 

 _Ok, head in the game. Head in the game. Head in the game._ I repeated to myself. I should really be used to this by now, going into buildings and having no idea what was waiting for us on the inside. This was now part of the daily routine almost. It had been for the two months I was on my own. _Get in. Look for walkers. Look for supplies. Clear it. Get out._ _Simple._

 

It was a large red bricked building. Two stories. Big bi-fold doors that lead to the garage. And off to the left was the main entrance. A long dead walker lay outside on the grass a few feet away. Some scattered papers. Nothing out of the ordinary nowadays. I expected it to be worse on the inside. No doubt in the chaos and the times since it had been raided. As a public government building it would seem an obvious place to go, well to me it would. I didn't have high hopes for supplies. I'd been extremely surprised if we did found a cache of supplies or weapons. _One can hope._

But we wouldn't know what the situation would be like until we had a look though. I hoped that the quietness of the surrounding area meant that inside wasn't over-run, that the walkers had moved on. _Because I'd hate for either Carol or Lori to right about it. I could only imagine the grief I would endure if this place turned out to be a bust. So, for my pride I needed this be good. And possibly my sanity too._

 

I knew the other three were following close behind. I was sure Daryl was right behind me, probably ready to pull me back if he deemed it to unsafe. _I may be fucking him but I'd still kick his ass if he did that. I'm not in a mood to be messed with right now._

 

Peering through the glass, it was as I expected, chaos had rained down on this place, no surprise there. I could see two dead walker bodies just inside the lobby. At least they looked dead. Flicking the torch on, I got a better look at the lobby. Just more chaos. But nothing was upright and walking.

I looked back over my shoulder to the three men, I gave a short nod, then pulled the door back, happy there wasn't one of those annoying bells above the door. Those things always scared the shit out of me nowadays, because it always attracted the wrong kind of attention. I'd end up cussing and pissed off and usually when the walker threat was eliminated I'd rip the damn thing down. And when I had the bell in my hands, I always thought it would be hilarious to tie the bell to the back of a walker. Would they chase it in circles like dogs do with their tails? I always wondered and then burst out laughing, helluva distraction technique. _We're all high-tech here._

 

Focusing back on the task at hand, the reception area seemed clear, other than the two dead walkers, both having had serious blows to the head. Chances of them re-reanimating was unlikely. I circled round to the back of the desk, checking under the desk just in case. The men checking the surroundings as they made their way inside. All of us silent for the moment.

“Garage?” I mouth and point in the direction. Rick nodded once. Daryl moved out ahead his crossbow raised, torch-light shining the way forward. Glenn moved behind Daryl, both clearing the offices either side of them. Rick motioned for me to move ahead of him. I wasn't about to complain about his corralling me. _Not now anyway._ I had to stay silent for the moment, if we wanted to get the jump on any walkers.

 

Both offices seemed to be free from walkers so we carried on down the hallway towards the garage. A large steel door blocking our path to the garage. There was no way we could open this without causing some disturbance in the garage. Daryl looked back over his shoulder, silently telling us to _be alert_ and _don't fuck up._ Even I could see the warning behind his eyes. I still had my bow over my shoulder and my Baretta and flash-light pointed forward.

Daryl gave the door a push, it creaked loudly throughout the garage, seeming to amplify the sound. And I was sure each one of us were cursing to ourselves, I certainly was. I gripped the gun tighter and the flash-light in my other hand. We could hear the shuffling of feet inside. Daryl and Glenn quickly moved inside, Daryl shooting the first walker coming out from behind the parked truck. Glenn had his hatchet raised and seconds later plunging it into the skull of the walker behind the first.

As Daryl and Glenn were taking out the walkers Rick and I moved forward, coming up the back of the truck, we could still hear more moans coming from behind the truck. I shone my torch making sure it was clear before we moved around. Rick was right behind me, ready to back me up.

As we turned the corner we could see four walkers, all wearing their fire gear, two of which had helmets on. That was where I could see a potential problem arising. Bullets most likely weren't going to be able to penetrate the visor.

“Fuck” I muttered, “You see a pipe or something?” I whisper to Rick. As he started to search for something I rounded the corner, shooting the first walker through the skull. The next two were wearing the helmets. At the far end I could see Daryl crossbow raised, he whistled, the two walkers further back heard, turning and started to stumble towards him. The other remaining walker was moving closer towards me. I shoved the flash-light in my pocket, still holding the gun out in front of me, more to reassure myself.

“Rick” I urged. Behind the walker, I saw one go down, Glenn charging the other. I held my hand out behind me, backing up a step. Something cold and hard was placed in my hands. As I stepped forward, I side-stepped the walker and kicked hard at the walker’s knee, as the walker fell to its back, the visor raised enough, I shoved the metal rod up through the jaw of the walker, and with my other hand on the end of what I now recognised as a crowbar, I gave it a sharp twist stilling the movement of the walker, letting out a huge breath in the process.

 

I pulled the crowbar free from the walker, it making a horrible squelching noise. Something I never got used to and always made my stomach turn. As I looked up, all three of the men were watching me.

“What?” I snorted. They all dropped their gaze and moved away from the truck. _Anyone would think they've never seen me kill a walker before._

“C'mon still got upstairs to clear” Rick said, not directing me to move faster, more to remind me we still had a job to do I think. Deciding to keep the crowbar for now, I clicked the safety on the Baretta and placed it back in the holster. I grabbed the flash-light from my pocket, it still shining brightly. In my haste, I hadn't turned it off.

 

 

Falling back into formation, Rick took the lead as we ascended the stairs. Glenn following, then me and Daryl behind. I rolled my eyes, _of course I would be placed in the middle._ I knew once again it wasn't the time to argue about it. I knew sooner or later I was going to get fed up with it and go first into a room, whether they liked it or not. _Stubborn as always._

 

Upstairs looked as much in disarray as downstairs did. Papers, clothes or other bits of debris scattered the floors. No one had been in here in quite a while. The walkers still in the fire gear downstairs showed that, they had been there a while. I wondered how long they held this place before it fell. Maybe the chance of supplies had better odds than I thought. Walking down a short hallway we came to an open space, looked to be their living room/dining room and further back was the kitchen. Doors lined one side of the room on the opposite side, that looked to be offices or possibly dorms. _One could hope. If they had a kitchen, maybe there's some beds and showers. Fucking hope, I couldn't help myself._

 

 

“Clear” I called. Daryl hot on my heels with each room we entered. He'd tried to insist he go in first the first few times, but eventually I'd just gone in ahead of him, ignoring his commands. Which had pissed him off at first, there was no mistaking that. But he seemed to relent as we neared the end of our search. He was just gonna have to get used to me being able to take care of myself.

“All clear” I heard Rick call from the other end of the building. The top floor had an abundance of rooms. A couple of offices, one I had taken a liking too after seeing a huge couch in the corner. _Fire Chief. Ross Jameson._ The title printed across the door in bold lettering. One can only hope the good chief had a bottle of something hidden in one of his bottom drawers, something I would investigate later.

The rest of the rooms consisted more of living quarters. There was a kitchen, dining area, couches, locker room and five small dorms, each holding two twin beds. I'd done the maths, there wasn't enough beds. So, that office was mine, I'd already decided it.

I could hear Rick on the radio telling the others we were safe and we'd come get them shortly.

 

“Place looks good. No walkers at all up here” Glenn said as we all regrouped.

“Yeah was a good call” Rick smiled at me.

“Don't let your wife hear you say that” I mumbled. Rick flashed me a grin. “I got dibs on the chief's office.”

“There should be enough beds” Rick sighed looking back to the direction of the dorms.

“I did the maths, five rooms, two beds to a room...eleven people. Ain't rocket science. There a big ass comfy couch, be just as good as a bed. I'm good. Stop your worrying for fuck's sake” I rolled my eyes.

“Ya shouldn't 'ave ta take a couch” Daryl grumbled.

“It doesn't matter, it’s just a couch. Much better than the back-seat of my truck” I said shrugging my shoulders. Daryl mumbled something inaudible, but it vaguely sounded like _fucking difficult woman_. I couldn't help but smirk, Rick shooting me a look as well.

“Ok, let's get those bodies moved out downstairs, make it a little more... habitable” Rick said trying to change subjects. Everyone agreeing and starting to make their way towards the stairs. Just before I followed I looked around the place. It was dark when we had walked in here, but now with the shades drawn in as many rooms as we could, light flooded the area. It was a damn good find. We could spread out but still be close. Much better than everyone being cramped into one house. Sure, it was a lot larger than we have been used to. But the potential of this place was good. We'd have to do some heavy fortifying but it was do-able. And the smugness was setting in, I couldn't wait to prove Lori wrong with this. I wasn't gonna rub it in, at least not until she says something. Then I was going to lay it fucking clear so there's no mistaking I was right. I smirked.

“You comin'?” Daryl called from the bottom of the stairs, pulling me from my thoughts.

“Yeah” I replied, heading downstairs to join the others.

 

 

“Thought you'd be sharing with...” his voice trailed off as his eyes looked over to Daryl, as him and Glenn started to pull the bolts from the locks on the big bi-folding garage doors.

“Not about to assume anything. Don't exactly know where we're standing at the moment” I said, my eyes flicking over to Daryl.

“Well currently we're standing in a fire-station...” Rick teased.

I elbowed him in the ribs. “Smart ass. Fucking incorrigible you are” I said shaking my head. “I just mean...”

He cut me off. “I know what you mean.”

“We talked a lot last night, cleared some stuff up but he still seems unsure. If he wants me...I guess he'll come to me, I ain't gonna push it with him. 'fraid if I push too hard, I'll push him straight into Carol. And I really want to avoid that as much as possible.”

“You want me to...”

This time I cut him off. “No. He'll come to his senses” I smirked, thinking of one of our previous conversations.

He sighed looking down at the four dead walkers still needing to be hauled out the garage. Five of them dressed in full fire gear, boots and all, the other dressed in civilian clothes, a possible looter, we couldn't be sure. “We better get these out, don't need them stinking up the joint more than they are already.”

 

 

Rick and I grabbed the last body, hauling it towards the door. We were lucky it wasn't as over-run as some people thought it might be.

“You really should have let me say something further to Lori and Carol earlier” Rick sighed.

I shook my head. “Oh yeah, because that would have gone down well. You saw how defensive she became when I stopped you and placed my hand on your arm. Part of me wanted you to rip into her, but it wouldn't have done any good. I'd come off sounding petty somehow and it would all be my fault. I would have got the blame either way. I chose the path with the least resistance” I snorted.

“It's not like you're the only one who had to kill the living” he scoffed, as we both dropped the body next to the others.

“I know that and so does she. It's just another excuse. And as she was saying that I couldn't help but think it's ten, not nine, the guy I shot with my bow, just before they'd taken me. But I wasn't about to point that out to her, correcting her wasn't on my agenda” I laughed.

“Well aren't you just the little serial killer” he teased.

“Not funny Grimes” I growled.

“I was kidding, c'mon can't have you mad at me too”

“Do you see me as that? A killer?” I asked seriously.

“I know if you had any other choice you would have taken that. Don't think you're a killer, you're not a danger to us. If I thought that I would have had stronger opinions about you staying...And the amount of times you've saved our asses by putting yours in the firing line...Fuck, I don't know how I'm ever gonna repay you for that” he sighed.

“Stop getting mushy with me Grimes, anyone would think you've fallen for my treacherous wench ways.” I chuckled and then let out a long sigh, “And you don't gotta repay me for nothing, you stuck up for me and wanted me to stay, the debt is more than settled in my eyes.”

“So how do I get Lori and Carol to smooth things over with you?” he asked.

I snorted. “Good luck with that. Um...cage match?” I shrugged.

“How about we swap that for jelly wrestling?” he pondered.

“Urgh...you're such a depraved individual. And I'd have those bitches tapping out before you even found your popcorn” I laughed.

“C'mon it'd be great” he said and turned to Daryl who was standing just within earshot, more than likely listening to our conversation. “You'd be down for jelly wrestlin', right?”

“How much jelly ya reckon we'd need?” Daryl piped in. My jaw dropped I thought him of all people would have gone embarrassed or just rolled his eyes. But no, _this_ is when he decides to play along.

“ _You_ don't need to encourage him” I growled to Daryl.

“See, he's all for it.” Rick grinned, slinging his arm around my shoulder.

“I think I'd pay just to watch you have this conversation with Lori. Fuck she would rip you a new one” I laughed, and as looked up to Rick I saw him scrunch his face up. “See, you hadn't even thought of that part of the plan. Ain't gonna happen. So both of you just forget it” I said shrugging out of Rick's arm. More so because I knew in the next few minutes everyone would turn up and the last thing I needed was for Lori to see Rick having his arm around my shoulder, no matter how innocent it was. I was already on her shit list, didn't need to keep adding to it.

 

 

As Glenn and Daryl dropped another body on the pile. Rick stopped them.

“You should go get the others, lead them back here.” they both nodded and looked to me.

“Scratch it and I'll kick your ass” I grinned, grabbing the keys from my pocket and throwing them towards Glenn who had his hands out. Daryl was quicker though and caught them a smirk on his face. Glenn pouting behind him.

“At least I'll have a better choice in music” Glenn called before heading to the truck.

I watched as Daryl backed my truck out on to the street, Glenn waving wildly and Daryl giving a slight nod before he drove off. My truck now disappearing down the street, until it was out of sight. I felt slightly uneasy about my truck not being in my possession. Not that I thought Daryl was about to wrap it around a pole or anything but damnit, it was mine. Stolen or not.

 

 

“Place to ourselves...how bout we find somewhere to host this jelly wrestlin'?” Rick grinned. I turned giving him a hard slap on his arm. “Easy darlin', save some of the aggression for the ring” he barked out in laughter.

“Shut the fuck up Grimes” I growled, through my grin.

His expression turned serious, “I really don't know how to smooth things over with Lori for you. Carol, I think will get the picture if you can clearly state you're with Daryl. But Lori...she's fucking determined currently. Pain in the ass the whole drive over, nearly threw her ass out several times. Carl even spoke up, he adores you, thinks his mother is being irrational” he laughs.

“Well she is being irrational. And I adore the kid too. But I'm afraid the mother bear is gonna come out in full force if I step anywhere near her cub. And Carol...” I sigh heavily, “well I don't know how far I'll have to push it to get her to back off. And it's not like I have any claim over Daryl.”

Rick cuts me off, waving his hand at me “Pfft...he doesn't just go around fucking whoever...” I snorted, _If Daryl knew we were discussing his sex life right now, he'd disappear into the woods for who knows how long._ “I think you've got some sort of claim over him” Rick carried on, not deterred by my snorting slightly at his comment.

“Well you know Daryl, he ain't about to put that kind of thing out there. But either way she needs to back off, unless it’s what he wants, then...I wouldn't be fucking happy about it but if it was what he wanted and made him happy I'd step aside. Figuring out where I stand with him is not as easy as it sounds. I know they're closer than they were before, how close I don't know.” _Fuck this conversation felt far too heavy for the small amount of sleep I had gotten last night._

“Ya ain't just gonna give up are ya? You're good for him. And I know if it did happen, where they got together I know you'd leave. And I don't want that. None of us do” he said his face all serious again.

“There's a few who disagree. I dunno Rick, can we just drop this subject for now? Screws with my head too much”

“You can always talk to me ya know?” he says.

“I know. Just promise me something...try not to rile your wife up too much, 'bout how right I was. As much as she deserves that” I smile.

“Sure” he says walking towards the fire-truck parked out on the street.

 

 

A few minutes later the caravan of vehicles came into view down a few blocks. Thankfully our sweep of the fire-station had been quiet, so we were lucky to have not come across any unwanted company. But to avoid that for at least tonight we would pull our vehicles inside the garage for the night, keep them off the street, make it look like no humans had passed through here recently and more importantly that none were residing here. The less attention we attracted the better. I'd had enough of the _bad guys_ over the last few months. I really was a magnet for this shit. Bad guys just seemed to have a homing beacon for me. _If only I knew where the off switch was..._

 

 

“Place is cleared out. Haven't looked through for supplies yet. But that can wait. There's dorms upstairs, actual beds...” Rick stated, everyone's eyes lit up at the mention of beds. _You're fucking welcome,_ I thought sarcastically. “I reckon we should park the vehicles inside, lock it up and try rest for the night. We can go over the place more thoroughly tomorrow.”

“Might get an hour or two in huntin' 'fore it gets dark” Daryl stated. Rick gave him no argument, knowing it was easier to let him do as he pleases, as he would go with or without permission. I restrained myself in volunteering to go with him. He hadn't looked towards me like he used to when he wanted me to come with. I figured he just wanted some peace and that was fine with me. Everyone needs space sometimes, especially with our group living in such close quarters.

 

 

With the vehicles safely parked in the garage, everyone seemed to fan out as they checked out our new home for the while. Everyone had grabbed bags and moved towards upstairs.

I walked over to my truck, reaching for my bag, a lantern and sleeping bag, planning to drop them off in the office before I went to help the others.

Walking up the stairs I could hear everyone as they were picking out the “best” room to sleep in and with who. I didn't want to see who was sleeping where. _More I didn't want to know where and whom Daryl was sleeping with._ I should just go ask him but that would be too obvious on my part. Sure, we'd had a good talk last night while I was driving but it still left a lot of things up in the air. _Right back to over-analysing everything. This would be where I'd drive myself insane. Maybe I'd try seek out Daryl later or if I chicken out there, maybe subtlety ask Rick._

 

 

The room wasn't much, a big desk, a chair behind it, a bookshelf in the corner and a couch under the window. _Perfect._ There weren't enough dorm rooms where I could have one to myself, _because I wasn't about to assume I was sharing with anybody and that included Daryl, with things still up in the air with him._ But the couch looked comfortable enough and big, much bigger than the small back-seat of the truck. I looked forward to being able to stretch out and roll over without too much hassle.  I didn't mind not having one of the beds in the dorm now that I looked more at the couch. This could be my own. I wouldn't have to share space, I could stretch out, I could snore, _if I do snore that is._ I suppose the only drawback would be I was alone. It’s a double-edged sword, I want my space but I don't.

 

I dropped my bag and sleeping bag next to the couch. I also took my bow off and lay it against the couch, I had no need for it at the present time. I could relax, _almost._ Pulling the blinds up I peered out the window, a few walkers spread out along the street, unaware of the new inhabitants that had moved in just down the road. _Just as we liked it._ I unlatched the window and cracked it open a fraction, feeling the cool breeze across my fingers. This could be a good place to hold up for a while, I hope.

 

 

I stood at the door about to go out and join the group, see what needed to be done, when a shrill voice stopped me.

 

_“So what, she was actually right? Big fucking deal!” Lori snarled._

_“It’s a roof over our heads Lori, with enough room for everyone. Just suck it up and apologise to her. She doesn't deserve the grief you're giving her” Rick snapped back._

I wasn’t sleeping outside this room, if she was this snippy now, how much worse would she become if I were to step through the door. I know I needed to grow a pair when it came to her but I dunno what it was, maybe the crazy pregnant hormones made her extra bitchy? At this current moment, I was steering clear.

 _“Apologise? What the hell do I have to apologise for?” she hissed quietly at him._ I wondered how much of this conversation other people were witnessing or at least eavesdropping like I was. I had a funny image of everyone in rooms, with their ears pressed to the doors listening in.

 _“Yes apologise. You know that thing you do when you're wrong” Rick said sarcastically._ I had to give it to Rick he wasn't backing down from Lori, usually he would but I was glad he was standing up to her, even if the topic of conversation was me.

_“Hell's gonna have to freeze before I apologise to her” she snarled._

_“Damnit Lori! Just apologise. You were wrong on this and you know it. She deserves to be here. Saved all our asses plenty if you haven't forgotten. Yours included!” Rick huffed_

_“Well where she gonna sleep, because I doubt anyone is gonna share with her. What with everyone feeling unsafe around her” she smirked._ Geez she was laying it on thick, wasn't she?

And without missing a beat Rick replied. _“Well I thought I'd share with her”_ What the fucking actual fuck Rick? Was he seriously trying to start an actual cage match, because more comments like that it was bound to happen, more likely without the jelly like he'd originally hoped. _“Yeah thought she'd be a great room-mate.” he added._ I wanted to kick his ass now too. Fucking hell Rick.

_“You better be fucking joking about this. I will not have you sharing a room with that murdering hussy.”_

_“Camille isn't sharing with Rick, she's taking the Chief's office” Daryl interjected._ And with that I heard Lori storm away, muttering something under her breath, a door slamming further off into the room. _“Why ya causin' shit with Lori?” Daryl asked._

_“Couldn't help myself. You should have heard her on the drive here...Look I'm sorry man. I'll go apologise to Lori, try get Camille out of this hole I've dug deeper for her.”_

_“Yeah ya better” I heard Daryl growl as he walked off._

I stepped out from the office, where I'd been avoiding running into Lori, especially when I heard the nature of the conversation between Rick and her.

“Well I'm definitely not thanking you for that conversation. Told ya, you should just leave it. Rubbing salt in the wounds doesn't exactly help me. Sure, it makes you feel smug as fuck, but for me, you've made it worse. I wanted to smack you upside the head when you said about sharing a room with me. Especially since I already told you I was bunking in the Chiefs office. Fuck, seriously Rick? Why'd you kick the hornet's nest?” I shook my head at him, arms folded across my chest, not impressed.

“I know. She just pushed my buttons and I lost it. Just wanted to fuck her off as much as she was pissing me off” Rick said hanging his head.

“Well mission accomplished Sheriff. So much for trying to make up with her or at least trying to put this shit behind us. Now she'll think every word I say to you, is me being the tramp trying to steal her husband. Just try to fix this, if not for my sake, for yours at least” I sighed heavily.

“Sorry” he muttered. He had his head hung low like a dog that had been kicked.

“Yeah, yeah, stop getting mushy with me again Grimes” I said shaking my head. “I'm gonna go keep watch for a bit on the roof. See what I can see, ok?”

 

 

I clicked the flash-light on as I opened the door to the stairs heading up to the roof. I think Rick had checked the stair-well but I don't think him or Glenn had ventured up to the roof-top yet. It was pitch black, other than my torch light and the dim light coming through the door. As the door closed behind me, the sound echoed through the stairwell, the rest of the light faded out, the only illumination coming from the torch. I scanned around the stairwell making sure it was clear, as I was trying to avoid a heart-attack.

Nothing lurked in the darkness, so I carefully made my way up the stairs, taking it slowly. I had a bad mental image of me tripping and just rolling down the stairs to the bottom. And probably with a broken neck too. I shuddered at the thought, so this was why I was taking my time.

 

Opening the door, light blinded me momentarily. I clicked off the light and held my gun out, ready to shoot just in case. Ahead of me it was clear. I stepped up another step slowly. As I came to the top of the stairs I checked to my right, which was clear, stepping out I closed the door behind me, a slight echo as it closed. Which stirred up moans from around the corner, weak moans. Heading towards the walker moans I took in my surroundings, weather-worn boxes were scattered on the roof. I wasn't sure if they were empty or contained supplies that we could use. I doubted it would be food as sitting in direct sunlight would never do it any good, not matter what it was, maybe dried goods but everything else would be useless.

It looked as though they had tried to store stuff up here, whether it was before I wasn't quite sure, items were scattered across the roof. Clothing, torn blankets, cooking utensils, why they were stored up here I had no idea.

 

Just beyond the housing for the door I could see the walker now. It was wedged behind some fencing, it reached through the bars toward me, weak from hunger. It had to have been up here quite a while. I was the first meal it had seen in who knows how long. As I raised my gun and took a step forward, something reached out grabbing my ankle and pulling hard, looking back a walker who was propped up against the housing of the door to the roof, it lower half of it body a mess, both legs were missing and some of its insides had been munched on. The legs looked to have been chewed off, one of the bones still attached, the rest of bones were nowhere in sight. I had a feeling if I looked around the whole of the roof a would find a pile. I swallowed back the bile threatening to rise. As I tried to pull away, the walker grabbed a hold of my other ankle sweeping me to the ground. I landed hard, dropping the gun from my clutches, the roofing biting into my palms. It gripped on of my ankles harder, this one still had a lot more fight then the other. I kicked trying to break free, after several attempts I finally get one foot free and was able to twist my body round to lie half on my side and with as much force as I could muster I pulled my foot back and slammed it hard into the walker’s head. The first attempt wasn't hard enough, so I had to bring my foot down twice more before I heard the skull crack and the walker fall limply to the side. I shuffled away from the walker as it fell towards me, a little out of breath, having just had some knocked out of me.

 

Behind me arms wove through the bars, getting a grip on my sweatshirt, the other hand getting a grip on my hair. I grunted and groaned as I tried to unsuccessfully pull away from its clutches. I tried pulling at the hands, both were just out of my reach. I could hear the moans getting closer to my ear as its hold had better purchase on me, pulling me against the bars. My head was tilted back because of the way it had a grip on me and I tried reaching blindly for my gun. I knew it was close I felt for it, panic starting to creep in. Its grip was getting tighter and how it held on to me prevented me from being able to wiggle away from it. I had half a mind to call out, but I wasn't sure if they would even hear me up here. And yelling could attract attention from elsewhere in the neighbourhood. There's a fine line between protecting my family and letting this walker kill me. I had to decide and fast, because a minute too long and I was dead. I was still searching for my gun, getting more frustrated and panicked every second I couldn't find it.

 

My fingertips grazed the edge of the handle. It was just out of my reach. I struggled trying to get even an inch away from the walker. I just needed to get closer. I was swearing loudly to myself each time my finger touched it. It was so close but so far.

The walker tried to readjust its grip and that was the opening I had to work with. As it uncurled its fingers on my sweatshirt I could push my body forward barely an inch. But it was enough. I could press my finger against the handle and drag it closer. The moans and the stench were getting more annoying by the second. With one final drag I was able to get a grip on the handle. And before the walker could push its way anymore forward towards me I raised the gun, pointed the barrel behind me to where I thought the walker was. _It was all fucking guessing game now._ And squeezed the trigger.

 

**Bang! Bang!**

Two shots rang through, right beside my ear. Not the smartest idea I've ever had but to save my life, it borderline genius. _Very borderline._ I couldn't focus. This felt like the store all those months back with Maggie. My head felt a mess. It wasn't as bad as the store but it wasn't pleasant. I closed my eyes unable to focus on anything in front of me.

 

 

“Camille?” Carl's voice was muffled, the ringing still in my ears. Even with a silencer on my gun, still doesn't diminish the effects of the gun. You weren't meant to have this right next to your ear under any circumstances. The sonic crack of the bullet still affecting me greatly.

“Camille? You ok?” he asked again.

I tried to open my mouth to speak but my head wasn't co-operating just yet.

“Wait here. I'll be back” Carl's voice said as I saw a blurry version of him disappear away from me.

 

 

As I opened my eyes again I could see Carl and Rick standing over me. Rick knelt beside me. His hand reaching for my gun, which I was still holding limply beside me. He reached behind me and pulled the walkers hands from my hair and the sweatshirt I was wearing.

“You ok?” he asked concerned. His voice was clearer than Carl's had been before. I nodded my head carefully, the movement still messing with my head a little.

“Don't tell Daryl. Never hear the end of this” I grumbled.

“Ok. But what happened?” he asked.

“Went to kill the one behind me” I gestured to the now dead walker, and then to the remains of the walker against the wall, “That one tripped me up, stomped him but got grabbed by the other. It was stupid I know. Feel fine. Head's still a bit wobbly. Pride feels a little shaken” I say scrunching my nose up.

“Well you're lucky” he breathed.

“Don't I know it” I said sitting forward, then I looked up to Carl. “What were you doin' up here anyway?” I asked.

“Dad said I should come help you on watch” he said looking to Rick.

I raised an eyebrow at Rick in question. He nodded confirmation.

“Thanks for saving my butt kid” I smiled. Carl grinned back me. Glancing over to Rick “Didn't realise I had visitation rights” I smirked.

“He's my son too” he said quietly.

Carl sighed loudly, getting both our attention, “So can we start training again? Or do I have to wait for mom to be friends with you again?” he asked.

Rick spoke before I had a chance, “Yeah you can. Just not today. Camille needs a good night’s rest after last night and today” he smiled at Carl.

Carl looked ecstatic. “Yeah she'd be way too easy to beat today” he laughed.

“Cheeky” I laughed with him.

“Hey, why don't you go help unpack with your mom ok?” Rick said, discretely trying to get rid of his son. Carl's smile faltered for a few seconds before he trudged back towards the door.

 

As soon as we heard the door close I waited for Rick to speak.

“You sure you're ok? Should have got someone else to go along with you” he said, the concern showing again.

“Yeah silencer helped dull it. It just threw me off is all. I'm good I swear. Been through worse remember? Besides this ain't half as bad as the time at the store...So you here to help with the stakeout?” I smirked.

“Yeah, no doughnuts though” he said shaking his head, he held out a hand to help me up. I reached for my gun before taking his hand and standing up.

“Fuck...what I wouldn't do for a doughnut right now” I sighed, looking down at the walker I'd shot. Two shots one on the side of the skull, the other close to the top. _Fucking borderline genius alright. And lucky to boot._

 

Rick and I walked the roof of the entire building. Two stories high didn't give us a complete birds-eye view of the whole town but it gave us a few blocks almost in the 360 of the building. A few trees next to the garage blocked a small portion of the neighbourhood. Taking watch on the roof would work well to our advantage. The only thing we would need to improvise on would be communication with everyone inside and whoever was out on watch. _Maybe the station had some more walkie-talkies somewhere. Those would prove useful, if we needed them._

 

 

I heard the garage doors open from below. _Daryl must be going out hunting,_ I thought to myself. I walked over to the edge to see Daryl roll his bike, Carol following behind him. Rick stood next to me, rifle clutched in his hands, watching my reaction. We heard the doors below close and the bike start. Daryl waiting till she got on. Carol sat behind him, her arms wrapped around his middle. I growled, screwing my face up and the bike left and disappeared into the distance. I glanced over to Rick to see his face light up with amusement.

“What?” I growled.

“Jealousy is an ugly thing” he chuckled.

“Well how am I supposed to act?” I sighed.

“Remember when you said you'd be fine if they were together?” he asked.

“Nope not at all” I said, completely full of it.

“C'mon you know you don't have anything to worry about. It's just hunting. They aren't _together_ ” he said like it was completely obvious. _Ok I knew I was being irrational, but...I was jealous...again. One of these days I was going to give myself an aneurysm with all these stupid thoughts._

I scoffed. “Yeah, says the guy who's hardly speaking to his wife...I told you the other day how all this made me feel. He takes _her_ hunting. He used to do that with me. He doesn't even ask me anymore. How can I not feel put out? Maybe it would have been better if we hadn't of fucked.”

I looked over to Rick and his face looked surprised. I couldn't help but chuckle. “Really Grimes? That shocks you?”

He laughed as well. “No...well maybe a little. You're meant to be a lady and all” he chuckled. _We both knew I wasn't the prim and proper lady._ “And if you're jealous you should just say, he ain't a mind reader.”

“Aren't you just fucking Yoda” I said sarcastically.

“Yes, I am, young Camille. Listen to my great advice, you should” he said in his best Yoda impersonation. We both cracked up laughing. Something I thought I would never see Rick Grimes do. He was right though. _Damnit._

 

We continued mostly in silence walking round the rooftop, keeping watch over the neighbourhood and getting a feel for the area. We discussed what places we thought might hold some supplies and what would need to happen to protect this place. There were definitely a few things that needed to be sorted so we would be protected, those glass doors down by the entranceway was one issue. Tonight, we’d shove some furniture up against them, create a barrier for now. The rest could be sorted tomorrow. I was thankful Rick avoided the subject of Daryl. Even though I was thinking about what to do about him most of the time while we were up there.

 

 

My ears perked up at the sound of Daryl's bike returning, clutching my gun a fraction tighter at the sound, a reflex I couldn't hold back from. I was on the other side of the roof at the time and didn't want to react to it, knowing it would get a rise out of Rick and he'd tease me more about it. I kept my eyes on the houses behind the fire-station. I could see Rick watching me from the corner of my eye, after a few minutes he walked to the opposite side. I felt myself breathe out a breath I didn't realise I had been holding.

The sun was getting lower in the sky and it had been relatively quiet today. _Maybe we'd be able to get a good night's sleep for once._

 

 

About an hour later, the sun was starting to set, Carl came up to tell us dinner was ready. Before heading back downstairs. We both took another quick lap around the roof, making sure everything was clear.

“Ready to talk to your boyfriend?” he smirked.

“Ready to talk to your wife?” I quipped a little angrily.

“Hey, that's not fair”

“Sorry I'm hurting your delicate feelings Sheriff. I think...I think I'll leave the talking for tonight. I'd probably end up saying something I'd regret. I need a hot meal and a good night's sleep.” I smiled.

“Just talk to him. And don't stress about this. And you didn't see him today, he watched you as you took down those walkers, he wasn't worried, he was in awe. He cares, he may not say it but he does.” Rick said smiling.

_Wow. I had no words to reply to that. I now kinda felt like an ass for talking back to him before. I knew self-doubt was always going to be one of my flaws. And as much as I tried to not let it affect me, well the little voice seemed to find their way inside my head._

 

 

For the first time in—I wasn't sure how long—I sat down with my family for dinner. The room had gone silent, that much I had predicted. It made me laugh on the inside. Everyone looked my way, one at a time, some smiling, some scowling, the others little to no expression on their faces. _At least they weren't telling me to eat elsewhere,_ I thought to myself. Most of us were sitting on the couches and chairs, all the furniture placed in a ring. I sat on the floor leaning up against the end of the couch, happily eating the meal that was dished out to me. I'd avoided eyes with Lori and Carol as Lori passed me a bowl. I'd muttered a ‘thanks’, _because I have fucking manners_ and went to sit and eat. I'd had a long enough day without wanting to start shit. I wasn't going to kick the hornet's nest like someone else did today. _Once was enough._ And I fancied going without any stings that I had avoided thus far.

Daryl had been sitting two seats away to my right and I could feel him looking over to me every couple of minutes. I just hoped Rick had kept his word and said nothing to Daryl. _And Carl hopefully too,_ I thought as an afterthought.

 

I offered to do the dishes, Beth standing beside me as she dried them. She made light conversation, talking about what she was thinking about getting organised for here. I listened and commented when she asked for an opinion. And then soon after we were finished. I decided to turn in for the night, the long day wearing very thin on me. I wasn't even going to offer for watch tonight, knowing Rick would immediately shoot me down after the incident on the roof, claiming I probably could use the extra sleep because of it. He wouldn't be totally wrong either but it would have more to do with the long fucking day and previous night.

I said my good-nights and retired to the Chief's office, _my office,_ I laughed to myself. I'd managed to get away from dinner without any yelling happening, I didn't quite believe it to be honest. I'd been tense all through dinner waiting for Lori more than anyone to snip at something. The conversation had been stilted through dinner, the tension was thick in the air, everyone knew that. I knew it was safer to keep my mouth shut and my head down, so I did. _Like a fucking mute._

 

I readied myself for bed, I half expected Daryl to come by before I turned out my lantern but he didn't come by. I wasn't going to let this upset me, _well that was what I was telling myself anyway._ I didn't need to figure out where I stood with him tonight.

The blinds were pulled, my sleeping bag rolled out on the couch, the chair wedged under the door handle as a precaution and I finally got to get rid of my jeans for once. Sleeping in them before had been necessary, now I just wanted a T-shirt to sleep in, fuck the rest of the clothes.

 

 

My eyes flew open, my breath starting to come out in panicked breaths as the door handle kept jiggling as it was turned from the other side of the door. I'd wedged the chair under the handle of the door, giving me a little security. I knew the place was locked up tight but paranoia got the better of me.

The door handle continued to jiggle and then stopped. I heard the person shuffle their feet a few times before stopping again, still outside my door.

“Camille?” they whispered, “Camille?” Daryl whispered again against the door.

My breath started to ease slightly, as I looked towards the door again. He was still standing out there, his silhouette showing through the frosted glass window. I pushed the covers back and walked to the door, removing the chair from under the handle and opening the door to come face to face with a weary looking Daryl.

“You scared the shit out of me” I whispered back, the edge still in my voice.

“ 'm sorry” he said as he looked down at his feet, awkwardly shuffling from one foot to another.

“So, what brings you by?” I ask tilting my head to the side, leaning against the door.

He again shuffles his feet, barely glancing up at me.

“Daryl?” I ask, reaching out to his arm, trying to get some sort of reaction out of him, if only to speak.

“Just...just couldn't sleep” he briefly glances at me.

“You'd thought you'd wake me up too?” I smirked. _I know. I'm not making this easy for him. But damnit if he wants something he should bloody well say instead of looking at his damn feet._

“Somethin' like that” he mumbles.

“Daryl...” I sigh, “I'm tired as hell. Are you just gonna stand there all night or you gonna come in, so I can either go back to sleep or talk about whatever's on your mind?” I say pulling the door open a little further.

He still doesn't look up at me, just blindly walks in. I quietly shut the door behind him and turn back to see he's already sitting on the couch. I turn the lantern on and sit facing him, one of my leg tucked on the couch, the other hanging off. I grab the discarded sleeping bag on the floor and unzipped it, draping it over myself and hold out the other end for him, offering him some of it. He takes it without a word and shuffles closer as he pulls the cover over him.

“So, sleep or talk? Your move Dixon?” I ask tiredly, resting my head against one of my hands, closing my eyes. I really was tired.

“Both I guess” he says quietly.

“Well somethin's on your mind, so spill”

“Was it another nightmare tonight?” he asked.

“Kinda. When I woke up I thought I was still dreaming, all I heard was the door. Freaked me out. Only thing that snapped me out of it, was your voice” I smiled, opening my eyes again to find Daryl looking back at me.

“Sorry bout that”

“It's my fucked-up brain thinking the worst. You don't need to apologise”

“Yeah but it ain't just that. Should 'ave stuck up for ya more earlier” he grimaced, looking back towards his hands.

“So, you can put yourself in their bad books like Rick did this morning. Don't...” I said scooting closer, “Carol's on your case enough. Look how much Rick's in the shit because of it. And like him, I don't need you to fight my battles. As far as I can tell it’s just Lori and Carol. If other people had a problem with me they would have spoken up, and they didn't. I can handle those two...Lori's all bark...Carol, well she's just looking out for you.” I smile at him through the dark.

“Yeah but she can't keep this shit up” Daryl huffed.

I snorted. “Yes, she can. Not my fault she's all jealous and wants you.” I raised an eyebrow at him. Daryl ducked his head, hiding his face from me. “Is that all you're worried about?” I asked.

Daryl glanced over at me, before looking down to his hands again. “She said some other things today...when we was out huntin'...” I cringed on the inside, I can only imagine what she was saying to him now. “She said I deserve more, better than ya. Said you'd just break my heart” he sighed.

 _Great. Just great. I really dreaded what was coming next._ I could feel myself stiffening, preparing myself for bad news. “Ok...” I breathed, slightly tense. I tried to push myself away slightly, give him distance, only he reached out to grab my hand, stilling my movements. “That why she went hunting with you today?” my lips twitching at the thought.

He nodded. “Planned ta go alone, but she an' Lori told me she needed ta come.”

“Fucking conniving...” I muttered before he cut me off.

“Ain't listenin' to 'er. Told 'er she needs ta back off” he said glancing over to after he'd finished.

My lips twitched, fighting back the smile. “And you think she heard you?”

“Probably not...but I know what I want” he said lowly.

I couldn't hide the smile now. “And what's that?”

He smirked, tugging my hand, pulling me closer, before he closed the distance and crashed his lips against mine. I squeaked out surprised by his actions, before it was silenced by his kiss. His hand left mine and wound round my waist, dragging me till I was straddling him. I had both of my hands resting on his shoulders, one hand starting to grip his collar, as the kiss heated up both of us.

Daryl's hand moved from the back of my neck, dropping it to rest on my hip, both hands working their way under my top, pulling it up my body slowly as we kissed, his tongue teasing mine. As my top grazed over my breasts, he broke the kiss, getting rid of my top and throwing it to the ground.

 

Daryl growled as he stripped my shirt off, finding I was without a bra, licking his lips in anticipation. I was now straddling him in just my underwear. His fingers dug into my hip holding me still, preventing me from causing any friction for either of us. His eyes were glued to my tits and I couldn't help but smirk. Daryl instantly saw my change in facial expression, one of his hands leaving my hip, reaching up to grab the back of my neck and pulling me forward to meet his lips. He kissed me hard, then biting on my bottom lip till a groan escaped my lips. He released my lip with a pop, a smirk on his face.

“Sitting here like this...” I gestured to our current position, “reminds me of that night in the ranger tower” I grinned, resting my hands on his chest. A shit day hunting turning worse with the walkers, then took a sudden sharp turn for the good, better than good.

I watched as I saw his lips twitched, then he frowned.

“What?” I asked, a little worried, leaning back a little.

“Day after, the kidnappin', I went back to the tower. Didn't mean ta, just ended up there. Kinda smashed some shit up” he sighed resting his chin on his chest, his thumb running over _his_ mark on my hip.

“I personally would have got shit-face drunk” I grinned.

Daryl raised his head slightly, looking up at me smirking, “Kinda did that too...yer' tequila.”

“Figured someone drank it. Or made a sacrifice to the gods. I guess you owe me a bottle then.” I grinned then my breath hitched as Daryl sucked hard on one of my nipples. “This doesn't...get you out...of getting me more...tequila” I managed to get out through several breaths, his teeth teasing my hardened nipple. As I glanced down I could see him smiling as he teased. As his other hand came up to cup my other breast his fingers brushed against the scar under my breast, stilling his movement for a few seconds, his eyes flicking up to mine.

“It's fine” I whispered. He experimentally brushed his fingers over the scar again, watching my face, waiting for signs of distress. The scar truthfully didn't bother me, it was one I still couldn't remember how I acquired it. I smiled leaning down to kiss him slow, another way of telling him I was fine. With no signs of distress, he became more fervent, nipping at my bottom lip and as his teeth scraped over my lip, a quiet moan escaped my lips. He smirked kissing me again. Both of his hands were occupied with my breasts, teasing my nipples, kneading my breasts and occasionally running his fingers over the scar. I was starting to writhe slightly in his lap.

 

We broke away at the sound of the door opening, both of us breathing heavy, Daryl's hands still cupping both of my breasts. _Cock-blocking mother-fucker, so help me Rick..._ I was swearing up a storm on the inside. Why did everyone have the need to interrupt when I was about to get laid?

“Daryl's got his hands full right now” I smirked at Daryl, not bothering looking back to the door.

“Daryl...” she sighed heavily, “I don't want you to regret this like you did yesterday” Carol said.  _Wow. The nerve of this bitch._

“Ain't regrettin' anythin' ” Daryl said as I felt his thumb brush the underside of my breast purposefully. _Smooth Dixon,_ I inwardly smirked.

“Carol I get it, you're looking out for him but he can make up his own mind, you've said your piece so back off” I sighed, and turning to look back over my shoulder, I raised my eyebrow trying to get my point across. She was standing there arms folded across her chest, glaring up a storm. “Please?” I added, a slight edge in my voice. I wanted this to be civil, because for one I was barely dressed and two, I really didn't want any more fucking interruptions. She huffed and then turned walking away, shutting the door behind her. I had half expected her to slam the door but it was closed softly. “Alone again at last” I grinned. “Should I find my top again?” I teased, pushing my body away from his.

“Fuck no” he growled grabbing my hips. I teased him by rolling my hips slightly, feeling him get harder beneath me. I licked my bottom lip slowly, his eyes tracking each movement. I could see his eyes clouding over far into lust now.

 

I reached for his shirt and started to undo the buttons. “You're gonna have to shed a bit more clothing Dixon” I hinted, getting the last of the buttons undone.

I ran my hands out across his chest to his shoulders, pushing the material away with my hands, Daryl leaned forward so I could push the shirt from his arms, I dropped the shirt to the floor and as soon as they were free, he wrapped his arms around me, pulling me flush against him, my breasts pressed against his now naked chest and started to kiss and lick down my neck, then gently biting down on my shoulder, causing me to moan a little louder. He did it again, earning the same response. I was well on my way to getting hot and bothered. I could feel I was wet for him and that was even before he'd had his hands anywhere near there.

 

I pushed him back with one hand and moved my body till I was knelling on the floor in between his legs and reached for his belt, starting to unbuckle it. He watched me with that expectant look on his face. “I ain't giving you head, you still owe me” I smirked, thinking of when I was last on my knees in front of him. Sure, the rest of the day had been crap, but the blowjob by the trailers had been hot. Daryl reached into his pocket, fishing out a couple of condoms, laying them beside him.

I smirked. “Ambitious?” I questioned as I unzipped his jeans.

“Greedy” he countered, lifting his hips up so I could pull his jeans and boxers down, his dick resting against his stomach. I pulled the jeans down to his ankles and he kicked off his boots and his jeans till they were off and lying on the floor in a heap. I stood there eyeing how hard he was, he started stroking it slowly, knowing I was watching.

“Ain't you forgettin' somethin' darlin'?” he breathed with each stroke. His eyes flicked to my underwear which I had almost forgotten I was wearing, his cock distracting me. _Can you blame me really?_

As I peeled off my underwear, kicking them aside, Daryl ripped open the foil packet, rolling it down his shaft.

 

With my hands holding onto his shoulders for support, I lowered myself down onto his hard dick, Daryl gripping it at the base positioning it just right, both of us groaning until I was fully seated on him. I started to grind my hips slowly, Daryl was biting his lower lip as I rocked my hips against him. He held onto my hips, guiding me to move with him, still taking it at a slow pace. Both of us enjoying the sensations.

“Wanna watch ya make yerself cum” he growled huskily to me. _Fine...so he wants a show..._ I smirked to myself.

I removed one of my hands from his shoulder, his eyes tracking my hand as I started running it down my neck, stopping on one of my breasts, playing with my nipple. As I tugged on it, Daryl thrust a little harder, his eyes still watching my fingers. After another hard thrust and a soft growl, I abandoned my breast, moving down my stomach, still rocking my hips in time with his thrusts. As I reached the top of my pussy, Daryl stilled his movements his eyes not looking away from my fingers. When I first made contact with my clit, I too stilled my hips, closing my eyes as pleasure swept through me. After the first few soft strokes across my clit I started moving again. My breathing was getting heavier, I had been so worked up before, I knew it wasn't going to take long to cum, especially with him inside me.

“You look so hot right now” Daryl breathed, making me open my eyes to look at him. I blushed, not used to those sorts of comments from him. I didn't reply and just continued to rub my clit a little faster feeling my orgasm so close. He leaned forward flicking his tongue over one of my nipples and that was what sent me over the edge. I panted loudly, right up until I came, holding my breath as the orgasm ripped through me, my thighs trembling, my other hand gripping his shoulder. I could feel his eyes watching me, even though mine were closed for the moment. As I came I could feel my pussy clenching hard around his cock, causing Daryl to groan loudly, helping him along to his release.

“Fuckin' sexy” he growled, I smiled opening my eyes, still feeling almost drunk after the orgasm.

Coming down from my high I felt Daryl reach for my hand and bring my fingers to his mouth, sucking of the juices on them. I rocked harder against him, it affected me as much as it did him. Releasing my fingers with a pop I placed my hand back on his shoulder and he grabbed back onto my hip again.

His thrusts started to speed up, his climax fast approaching. His head was thrown back against the couch now, mouth hanging open panting and grunting with each thrust. Now getting a second wind I moved in sync with him, matching him thrust for thrust, as he drove his cock up into me.

With several harder thrusts, his breathing faltered and his grip painfully tight on my hips. He groaned loudly, stilling his movements and releasing the grip on my hips. He grinned lazily at me and leaned forward kissing me slowly, as he got his breath back. His thumb brushing over _his_ scar on my hip. To me, that was his way of showing affection, and it always made me grin like an idiot on the inside.

 

Leaning back slightly and pulling away from his kisses I smiled, “Think I was loud enough that she got the picture now?” I chuckled.

He was silent for a few seconds narrowing his eyes at me before answering, “Nope, guess we'll 'ave ta do it all over again, make sure she heard ya loud an' clear” he smirked

“Oh right...greedy” I smirked in return.

He growled before pulling me in for another kiss. I went willingly, chuckling, only to be silenced by his mouth.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok so not quite sure about the dirty smut. I think I'm just over-thinking it as per usual lol. Hope though that was enough to stick it to Carol. Bit of a “Yeah that's right, he's mine, now back the fuck off” lol. There was definitely some Sons of Anarchy inspiration there. So I highly recommend listening to “I Want Your Love by The Toadies” at least just before Carol walks in lol. The Lori revenge is on the way too! Haven't forgotten her, don't worry.  
> And I'm not even sure where the jelly wresting comment came into my head. I'm sort of shaking my head at that one. But it was funny at the same time. Same to be said about the Yoda comment...I really do wonder where my brain gets these ideas sometimes. I'm sure if they were OOC you will let me know.  
> Reviews are bribes as always...and they make my day!


	41. All Along the Watchtower

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry for the delay on this chapter people, I did warn previous chapter. But alot has happened over the last month. Can finally stop stressing as I have found a house and moving next weekend, so been boxing up all my crap (can't believe how much I actually have) and I turned 30...not sure how I feel about that yet.  
> So chapter....far longer than I thought it would be but hopefully that will satisfy you all after the long wait.  
> Thanks to those who reviewed last chapter, love it, they always make my day!  
> Hope you enjoy this chapter!!

Greedy. That's one word for it...I could certainly think of a few more adjectives to add to the list. Round two had been without interruptions and well worth it. And all worth his _greedy_ actions.

 

 

Daryl rested on his knees for a minute before he disposed of the rubber and moved so his back was against the back of the couch rolling onto his side, as I scooted across the couch giving him some room to lie down beside me. He lay on his side, his arm lazily draped over me. Both of us panting slightly.

“Still weren't loud 'nough” he breathed, his hot breath hitting my shoulder.

I couldn't help but chuckle. “Well I ain't a screamer and last thing everyone else needs to hear is you and I fucking like rabbits.”

“ 's a change from hearin' Maggie an' Glenn go at it” he chuckled.

“That's what happens when you live in such tight quarters. Plus, I don't want to have to explain the birds and the bees to Carl. Not my damn job” I smiled.

“Well we're far 'nough away from 'em, doubt they heard a thing...Well, only Carol, but 'er fault fer' walkin' in” he breathed out, his breathing starting to become more even, as was mine. And I tried not grimace as he said her name. _She got what she deserved I think._

 

As he shifted next to me getting comfortable I suddenly had a thought, something I should have thought of earlier and in the haste of everything over the last few days, I can see why it was missed but how could I have been so stupid in the first place? The last time when we'd had hot angry sex against the truck, we hadn't used any protection. _Fuck._ I scolded myself. _Don't tell me I was this stupid? Don't need to end up a hormonal, useless pregnant woman. One of those was more than enough,_ I smirked. _They'd never let me do anything. No more hunting. No more fighting. No more scouting. No more riding behind Daryl on the bike. Shit...Daryl...how would he take this news? Would he want to run for the hills? We haven't exactly declared anything between us...For all I know I'm just a fuck for him, something to pass the time and keep him warm at night...This is gonna drive me fucking insane till I know for sure and that won't be till either I can stop it in its tracks or wait a few weeks till I know for sure. I'll have to keep this to myself, anyone finds out and well...I can't see this getting any better for me here. Lori would think I planned this, like this was my great plan for securing my place in the group. Fucking stupid girl!_ I scolded myself again.

 

“Yer' thinkin' awfully loud over there” Daryl said, pulling me from my thoughts.

“Oh...sorry...mind was just off with the fairies” I stammered.

“C'mon what's on yer mind?” he asked.

I paused for a second. “Same shit as always” I lied. “You're not gonna bolt again this time, right?” I asked cautiously, thinking back to our last encounter and changing the subject.

“Not unless yer' kickin' me out... an' 'm comfy here” he said lazily, his hold around me tightening slightly.

I sat up slightly, only to be pulled further into his chest, I chuckled. “Was gonna get the sleeping bag, keep your naked ass warm.” I said, the hold loosening enough for me to reach down and grab it. I spread it across us, laying back down, his arm pulling me tight against him. _I guess we were conserving heat tonight,_ I grinned inwardly.

 

 

His thumb traced back and forward over the scar under my breast, ignoring my breast completely. He seemed to be examining the scar. I silently wondered if he was thinking about his own scars. He still never had mentioned anything about them, even after I saw them the night in the ranger tower. I'd seen the _deer caught in headlights_ look he had on his face when he knew I had seen them. There was a story behind them, but from the reaction I had seen so far, I knew it wasn't good. I didn't want to bring it up with him, in case the deer bolted, so to speak. For him to tell me I would need to earn his trust, and there was a small part of me that had accepted he may never talk about it. If he wanted to, I hoped he would know he could trust me with it.

 

“You're wondering how and who gave it to me right?” I asked my eyes still closed, the motion was soothing in a way. If anyone else had been doing it, I would have felt self-conscious but not with him.

“Yeah” he mumbled out.

“Would it annoy you to know that I can't even remember who did it and when, well I kinda know the _when_ , it was definitely the night that everything went down. There's still a few blank spots in my memory from that night, the two bigger scars on my back I still am not quite sure how I got them either. Although, I think the one on my lower back was from me, when I was pulling a knife from the back of my jeans, to kill Luke I had to keep it close to my body, so I didn't reveal it too soon. I was so hopped up on adrenaline that night, I thought at the end of it, it was everyone else's blood, not thinking for a second that some of it was mine. I never felt any of the nicks, cuts or scrapes. Not until I had a shower...fucking felt it then. Burnt like a bitch too.” I grimaced.

“Do ya think ya wanted ta block it out?” he asked.

I shrugged. “Not sure. It was a pretty fucked up night. And day to be honest...Stupid bitch leaving me out there, chained up while walkers poured through the fence...” I trailed off with a loud huff. “Honestly the worst scars are the ones that can't be seen. Nightmares are proof of that. If I'd come across you after I'd escaped and we'd never met before, I would have avoided every single one of the group. Because I saw everyone as a threat from then on...Came across a camp a few weeks after Chris left, was out hunting, saw their camp, watched them for a while and they seemed nice but they weren't you or the rest of the group, so I quietly left and went back to avoiding all life forms...I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust anyone who isn't our group” the last part more of a whisper.

“Didn't trust anyone really 'fore, so ain't much diffr'nt fer me” Daryl shrugged.

“You trust the group though...and I'd like to think me as well” I said hesitantly.

“That's diffr'nt” he mumbled.

“But you trust me...?” still hesitant.

“Don't just fuck anyone.” he said not giving a clear answer.

I smirked. “Would you believe Rick said the same thing about you yesterday when he questioned my jealousy when you went hunting with Carol.”

Daryl pulled his head back a bit, watching my face, his expression a little guarded.

“I wasn't gossiping with him, if that's what you're worried about. I was just saying how I was worried you had changed your mind about Carol and that because feelings are now involved for me, I said that maybe it would have been better if I hadn't of fucked you.” Daryl looked hurt by my explanation. _Fuck. Just explain it right so he doesn't think your about to kick him to the curb._ “I was pissed off and jealous, alright? I said it because of that, nothing else. I don't regret this” I said looking at him trying to catch his eyes. “Not for a minute. You're worth coming back for.” I smiled, knowing he hated these kinds of comments. _Anything to see Dixon blush,_ I thought to myself.

“Stop” he muttered shyly. _Mission accomplished,_ I smirked inwardly.

“Thought about ya every day.” I could feel him burying his face under my shoulder further, “Even had you telling me how reckless I was in my head a few times. And knew as soon as you saw me you'd be angry as hell. Didn't expect it to last as long as it did...” I said trailing off.

“Reckless...what'dya do?” he asked and I could imagine him rolling his eyes at me, with that particular word being used.

“Was when I tried escaping the second time. They'd stupidly left me alone in the kitchen, so I bolted, wasn't going to pass that opportunity up. I think it was when I was peering round one of the buildings to make sure it was safe, you were in my head calling me reckless and that honestly only motivated me more. Fuck the consequences I thought. I made it to the fence, was climbing the damn thing when they caught up to me, dragged me off the fence, kicked me a few times, sure that's where I broke my ribs. Then I was back to being chained up in that basement for three, maybe four days. Pretty sure I had a hallucination of you telling me I should 'ave stayed put...See, even when you're not physically there you still try tell me what to do!” I sighed loudly.

“Someone's gotta. Fuckin' stubborn.” he said and I could tell by the tone of his voice he was smiling.

“Like I'm ever gonna change” I snorted.

“Don't doubt it. Stubborn as fuck today. Ya know ya don't gotta prove anythin'?” he sighed.

“I know that. Just pisses me off when y'all treat me like the damsel, _protect the women_ bullshit. You, Rick and Glenn always positioned me between y'all. I rolled my eyes and bit my tongue when ya did that.” I shook my head.

“I know. Saw ya do it” he smirked. “Had ta resist pullin' ya back several times.”

“So, why didn't you?” I ask.

“Cos, we had other things ta do at the time” he replied. “And still don't mean I'm a gonna stop doin' it. Someone's gotta watch yer' ass” he shrugged.

“Uh huh” I said shaking my head. I was resisting the urge to make some stupid pun about him _watching my ass._ Although its usually me who gets distracted when I'm looking at his. Him on the other hand, is better at keeping focused. _But can you blame me really?_ I thought to myself.

 

 

“Why ya wanna be with a guy like me?” he mumbled, sleep seeming to be evading us both tonight.

“What do you mean _a guy like you_?” I asked confused.

“Yer' not the type of girl who goes fer' a guy like me” he says still mumbling.

I sigh. “I would have definitely given you a second look if I'd seen you in a bar” I grinned. Daryl snorted. “What? I'm serious. Plus, as soon as you'd start talking, well shit...it’s the accent, girls are suckers for accents...trust me I'd be the stuttering, blushing fool in the bar. You'd laugh me off and probably find someone who could form words properly” I laughed.

“You seemed ta be able ta speak when we first met”

“I was also in a lot of pain after some asshole just shot me in the middle of the woods” I mused.

“See. Asshole. Ya just said it”

“You'd say the same thing if some stranger shot you, accident or not. Manners go out the window when you've got a bolt embedded in your side” I raised an eyebrow, “Doubt you were happy when you had the same, granted it was _your_ bolt but still...”

He sighed. “Guess yer right.” he was silent for another minute before speaking again. “Still didn't answer my question, why ya with me?”

“Cos I like the asshole who shot me. My fucking cupid” I mused, “And it's not just to have a warm body to lie next to either, if I just wanted sexual gratification I'd get a vibrator. I like that you keep me on my toes, and that you never back down from a fight. And that you were willing to fight for me...I like it when you run your fingers over the marks on my hip and even when you place yourself in front of me, even though it pisses me off at the same time.” I smirked, “You worried about me, came to look for me at those times, in the store, on the road when the walkers drove us out, and even when I was taken, you still looked...You're a good man Daryl Dixon and don't let anyone else tell you otherwise...if not send 'em to me and I'll kick their ass for saying so.” I grinned.

Daryl just watched me the expression unreadable on his face. I wasn't sure if I offended him, embarrassed him or he was happy to hear it. _Frigging stellar poker-face. I should really test it out one night in a game of poker..._

“Don't tell me I rendered you speechless?” I quirked an eyebrow at him.

He just sent me his signature Dixon smirk, I couldn't help smile back.

 

 

“Why didn't ya want a dorm? Could 'ave shared with me” he said quietly.

“Oh really?” I grinned, “You'd want a girl messing up your space?”

“Didn't say that” he mumbled.

“Daryl, I didn't know if that was even an option. I figured with everyone still not quite happy I'm back and the confrontation this morning, going on my own seemed the best choice, wouldn't ruffle anyone's feathers then. And I didn't want to assume I could share with you. You and I...I didn't know where we stood, and I wasn't sure what was happening between you and Carol...”

He cut me off angrily, “Told ya nothin's goin' on with 'er” he growled, starting to sit up to leave, I guessed. I tugged on his arm, getting him to stop and look at me.

“I know and I believe that now. I just wasn't sure, more so after you had gone hunting with her today. And I wasn't aware Lori and Carol ambushed you into taking her with you. I wasn't sure if you had just changed your mind, I mean it happens. I didn't know where we stood, that's all. And if my tits were a distraction for the decision before...”

“They weren't. 'ad already made my mind up 'fore she came into the room, 'fore even I 'ad come ta see ya t'night.”

“Is that so?” I asked, elongating each word. “Although I'm sure breakfast tomorrow is going to be an interesting affair. Wonder how long I can avoid either one of them having a go at me tomorrow?” I asked myself more.

“Don't worry 'bout 'em” he sighed.

“Well I'm sure they'll have some tale spun about me whoring myself out to you” I sighed.

“Nah, 'yer worrin' 'bout nothin', think she got the message t'night.”

“If you say so...” I said unconvinced.

 

I get it, he didn't want to appear to be taking sides. And he _was_ still friends with her I assumed. I doubt even what she said to him yesterday made him hate her for saying it. I think he felt conflicted on where his loyalties should lie. And I wasn't sure if that bothered me or not. I was all too aware of how tonight's events were going to play out with the _desperate housewives_ in the morning _._ Of course, when they confront me, _and they will,_ this would happen when there were no witnesses around, so whatever they say, if I repeat it to someone, will probably still have me coming out as the jealous woman who can't keep a man or something to that effect. _Ya know, just another day in the glory that is the apocalypse._

 

“C'mon get some sleep” Daryl murmured pulling me against his chest. I guess my thinking was louder than I thought it had been. Sleep wasn't going to come easy, even though the vigorous workout before should have me sleeping deeply when I do finally fall asleep. I just needed to stop thinking. _If only it were that easy._

 

 

I'd slept through the night without any nightmares, which surprises me but in some ways, it doesn't. I hadn't had a peaceful night's sleep in who knows how long. Sure some nights I managed to sleep, but never _really_ sleep, where in the morning you felt rested. It was the sleep your body was supposed to get, not the crappy two hour naps, that I'd either get woken up or wake myself up with a nightmare.

I rolled on to my side, trying to find the warmth, opening my eyes all I saw was a vacant and cold spot where he last lay. I sighed heavily.

 

And waking alone hadn't been much of a surprise to me. Hell, I'd half expected him to leave right after he'd cum. It's not that I think he's the ' _wham, bam, thank you ma'am'_ type of guy. As of late it seems to be his MO. I dunno...it’s just when I think I've gotten somewhere with him, the table gets flipped on me. _Maybe I'm expecting too much from him? I should just come out and ask him to stay but my brain tells me 'don't, you'll scare him off'. He's not the relationship type of guy, at least not now...maybe further down the line...Maybe I had scared him away with some of my talking last night. I do tend to ramble a lot these days He still didn't seem convinced that I wanted him. But how exactly do I tell a man like Daryl Dixon that? And without scaring him off..._

He had said last night that he doesn't just fuck anyone, but it isn't like he has a lot of options, there's only three single women in our group including me.  I believe him when he says that as well. Don't know why, maybe call it woman's intuition, me being naive or just some bullshit. But if he wanted someone else, think he would have been in her bed last night, not mine. _I dunno, I'm trying on the optimism hat for once, at least if it only last a few minutes._

 

I'm glad he'd stayed at least for a while or at least waited till I was asleep before he left. But either he had shit to do, wanted his own space or didn't want to be seen coming out of my room. I wasn't even considering that he'd run to Carol this time. He knew how much that fucked with my head the last time, _still does to be honest,_ so I wasn't even considering it as an option.

I guess I just wanted to wake up next to him and sure, everyone seeing him come out of my room sends a clear message, _that would have been the icing on the cake._ _And possibly another dig towards Carol, twist the knife a little more._ But instead I was alone. I'm expecting too much from him I know that, but that small nagging part of my brain can't fucking help itself, planting the seeds of doubt. _Which I'm currently trying to tell them to shut the fuck up. Arguing with myself and talking to myself...not so healthy signs there,_ I mused.

 

I'd say I'm not going to let this affect my day, but let's be fucking honest here...I'd be lying if I said otherwise. The one key factor to all this, is to not let Carol or Lori know what's up. If they smell blood in the water, so to speak, I won't have a moments peace all day and then to top it off, they'd harass Daryl until he relented into whatever scheme those two cook up next. God I hate pretending everything is hunky fucking dory. Sometimes I think that it was better when I was on my own, at least when it comes to those two.

 

 

The sound of cutlery scraping against bowls were the only noise at the table. Cursory glances thrown across the table. Other than that silence filled the air. _Welcome the world's most awkward breakfast._ Another awkward meal time to add to the growing list. The only people missing from breakfast were Hershel and Daryl. I guessed they were up on the roof on watch. _Lucky for them._ Carol had obviously downloaded Lori on what she had walked in on last night. And I can only imagine what her version of events were. In her version I probably have brainwashed Daryl into sleeping with me and had said some inflammatory remarks towards her, causing her to run away crying, because she's the victim here. I'm just the aggressor, a danger, someone who can't be trusted, the whore spreading her legs...take your pick, I was bound to be one of them in their eyes, if not more.

You know, just another fucking glorious morning. This was going to another long day. My plan would be to avoid those two as much as I could. Stay out their way for as long as possible. But I know making those kinds of plans are not worth it. _They'll find a way..._

 

Everyone could feel the tension. It was like the wild west, everyone waiting to see who draws first. I sat quietly on one of the chairs eating my breakfast. All I knew was that it was far too early to be starting shit. I'd rather just ignore it and busy myself with what needed to be done today. But breakfast was the hurdle standing in my way currently.

 

“So, can we do training today?” Carl asked as he came to stand beside me looking at me expectantly. _Shit, this isn't going to go down well._

Everyone stopped eating, eyes on me, then to Lori and Rick. _Here we go._ My eyes flickered to Lori, who looked livid right now. _Shit._ Glancing over to Rick it was the complete opposite reaction. I was about to answer when I was beaten to the punch by Lori. What I was going to say I had no idea, all I knew is that the situation needed to be diffused, and quickly. But that plan was shot out of the window quickly.

“I already said no Carl” Lori bit out.

“But _Mom_ , Dad said...” Carl whined, looking to his father, who now was wincing as he'd been dropped in it. Guess this wasn't going to help smooth things over with Lori anytime soon, for me or for Rick now.

“No Carl. You have school work to do and we have a lot to do around here. You won't have time for _that_.” she spat out, her glare fixed on me.

“I said he could Lori” Rick calmly said.

“And I already said no!” Lori barked.

 

I was busy trying to eat my breakfast as fast as I could now. Sure, I didn't want to let Carl down and I wanted to teach him, hell I'd had fun teaching him but with Lori...well I wanted to get out of the way before this shit got turned on me.

“He needs to learn this, more so than about the Civil War. This is his life now. He needs to learn how to protect himself” Rick scoffed.

Carl looked to me, a hurt look on his face as he looked back to his fighting parents. If the kid gives me puppy eyes I know I'm going to crumble.

“I'm sorry bud, I want to...but I need your mom to be ok with this. And Carl, this isn't your fault either, I promise.” I whispered to him. Lori was still too engrossed yelling at Rick to notice me say something to Carl, which I was grateful for. Carl's face dropped. Now I felt bad. Rick was right though, he needed to learn to protect himself properly because one day he'll be somewhere on his own, _because let's face it, the kid doesn't stay where he's supposed to,_ and he'll have to defend himself, whether its walkers or people.

 

I finished up my breakfast in record time, giving the bowl a quick rinse in the bucket and then headed back to my room to grab my bow. I thought about waiting out the storm brewing in kitchen in my room but decided it would just drive me up the wall to stay confined. Grabbing my bow and baretta I headed for the rooftop. I could still hear Rick and Lori arguing. That would mean they would both be in bad moods for the rest of the day. Rick was usually the one to let things go more easily. Lori on the other hand, would not relent. _She'll be the death of us all if she doesn't shut her trap soon enough._

As I reached the stairs, I noticed from the corner of my eye a shadow following me.

“C'mon kid, you can help me with watch till your parents simmer down” I said holding the door open for him to follow me. He looked relieved I wasn't about to send him away.

 

The roof was empty as everyone was still eating breakfast or witnessing the fight between Lori and Rick. I silently wondered where Daryl and Hershel were, as I thought they were up here. Seeing no sign of them, I grabbed the rifle that was sitting beside the door and proceeded to walk the perimeter of the roof, Carl following beside me, silent, his head on his chest watching his feet.

“You alright kid?” I asked. _I know it's a stupid question to ask but no one else was going to ask him, so why not?_

He huffed loudly stopping in his tracks and looking back up at me. I stopped and waiting for him to answer. “I hate it when they fight” he said solemnly, “They fight so much now. Mom's never happy.”

“Just know this isn't your fault at all.” I said.

“Why does Mom hate you so much?” he asked.

I wasn't sure what to tell him. I didn't want to bad mouth his mother to him, he certainly didn't need to know half the shit that's going on right now. He's meant to be a kid, not have to deal with his mother's problems.

“She doesn't trust me anymore, after what I had to do to escape.” I said simply. I wasn't too keen on elaborating much more with him, especially about his mother, no matter what my quarrel is with her currently.

“Is she afraid of you?” he asked.

 _She should be,_ I thought to myself. “Shouldn't you be asking your parents this?” I said cautiously.

“They don't tell me nothin', tell me I'm still just a kid...”

“Hate to break it to you, but you are still a kid” I chuckled.

He sighed loudly. “I know but... _you_ never made me do kid things...Ya know Daryl taught me some stuff too” he said smiling back at me.

“Yeah? What'd he teach you? I hope it wasn't to cuss like a redneck. Lord knows one is bad enough sometimes” I chuckled, flashing him a quick smile. And I was curious to know what Daryl had taught him, wasn't ever sure if he liked Carl or not, he usually seemed to stay clear of him...and mostly everyone else.

“Nah...just how to look for animal tracks and stuff. I asked if he could teach me to use the crossbow but he said it was too heavy and then when I used your bow and broke it...” he peeked up at me, probably remembering the telling off he got from Daryl about it.

“Heard about that. Told ya, we need a smaller bow for you. If we find one, I'll teach you”

“Really?” he grinned. _See...how can I resist that face?_

“Yes, really. We gotta find one first but I'll keep my eye out when I go scouting next. And I'm not mad at you for breaking the cable on my bow, it got fixed, but I mean it when I say it’s not for you to play with, alright?” I said trying to sound as calm as possible. I really wasn't angry at him for it and it sounded like Daryl already put the fear of Dixon in him, so no need to scare him for a second time.

“Yeah, I know.” he said earnestly, scuffing his boot against the roof.

“Not mad, I promise” I smiled, ruffling his hair, which he promptly swatted my hand away.

 

“Do you think Mom's gonna tell you off again?” he asked.

I snorted. “More than likely kid I'm sure. Don't worry about it though. _You_ shouldn't have to worry about these things. This is why it’s good to be a kid. Trust me.” I started walking towards the edge of the rooftop, “C'mon let’s see what's happening in the neighbourhood today.”

 

Carl and I kept a lookout as I pointed to various spots that we would scout later. We'd probably only been up there about thirty minutes when I heard the door to the rooftop open, and the hairs on the back of my neck stood up, there was only one person at the moment who could give me that reaction. _Lori._ This wasn't going to end well judging by this morning’s display, and more so since I was with her son.

 _“Carl!”_ Lori's shrill voice sounded. Even with Carl standing a few feet away I could feel him stiffen at her voice. “You need to go downstairs now, Carol needs your help.” It didn’t sound like a suggestion, and Carl looked to be going without a fight which I was glad about. He didn't deserve to have Lori's bad mood taken out on him as well. Carl wordlessly left the binoculars on the ground beside him and walked towards his mother. I was still yet to turn back and acknowledge the woman's presence. I think in a way I was mentally preparing myself for whatever she was about to say. _If I had a rope I wouldn't think twice about repelling down the side of the building to get away from her._

 

 

I heard the door close quietly, but I knew she was still standing there. The glaring ever persistent on my back, waiting for me to acknowledge her. She moved closer to me and I finally turned to face her, I kept my expression blank for the minute. I knew anytime soon she would say something that would spark an emotion or two but I wanted to wait to see what her rant of the day was first.

“I think it's time you and I had a talk” Lori said, an edge to her voice.

“And _what_ do _we_ have to talk about?” I really wasn't in the mood for whatever she was about to say. It sure as fuck wasn't going to be _I'm sorry I was wrong._

“I told _you_ to keep away from my husband...”

I cut her off. “I'm not after Rick! I'm with Daryl. For fuck's sake Lori...I know what ever I say you are going to spin another way...So just say what you have to and get it over with. I've got shit to do today” I sighed, slightly annoyed.

Lori narrowed her eyes at me, folding her arms across her chest.

“Carol told me about last night...you spreading your legs like the whore you are, Daryl will recognise it soon enough. He'll dump you out in the cold and then what...?” she smirked.

“Calling me a whore is a pretty bold move...sounds a bit pot calling the kettle black, don't you think?” I narrowed my eyes at her.

“I'm just calling it how I and _everyone_ else sees it. You look desperate panting after Daryl like you are. It's pathetic really” she laughed.

“Everyone...being you and Carol, because even after your _revelations_ yesterday, you two were still the only ones to say anything. Even your son spoke up against you” I said, not evening bothering to touch the desperate comment just yet.

“Leave _my_ son out of it! She growled.

“Just stating the facts Lori. Was there anything else or have you had your hormonal surge for the day?” I asked, feeling more than irritated currently.

Narrowing her eyes at me, she took a step forward. _If she's trying to intimidate me, it’s really not working. Wrong fucking person._ A slow smile spread across her face. _Here we go._ “Daryl somehow sees past all your bullshit, Rick now does too, even Shane...”

I cut her off, the penny about to drop. “Is this...is this because of Shane?” I said not quite believing it myself.

“What...what did you say to me?” she stuttered.

The penny dropped. “Ever since we found out Shane was the one who attacked me, you've always been a little more standoffish. I always thought it was because of something else, what, I wasn't sure, but this...it makes sense...You've got to be fucking kidding me?” _This can't be right? Shane...it was to do with Shane as well...? The prick who tried to rape me but was interrupted...Was she in love with him? Or at the very least falling for him? From what Rick had said, there was a bit of resentment when he confessed to Lori he had been the one to kill Shane. She was angry at Rick that he'd done that. Regardless of it being the right decision. Had this been her initial spark of jealousy because Shane chose to come after me and stopped panting after her? And then this close friendship with Rick I have...was she on the paranoia train too? This was a total head fuck._

“You have no idea what you're talking about!” she snapped. _A little too quick to snap if you ask me..._

“I'm right, aren't I?” I smirked.

“This has nothing to do with Shane!” she growled.

“Sure, it doesn't. I only wonder what Carol has to do with this. Why you're plotting so hard with her to get me to leave...Did you promise to help win Daryl over for her when you cast me out or some bullshit?”

“I will not stand for these accusations!” she cried.

“The only things I'm _accusing_ you of is you think you run this show and then plot with Carol. _That_ is what I'm accusing you of. And as I said before doesn't matter what I say to you, you'll put your own spin on it to believe the bullshit your pushing uphill...Look, I get it, you don't like me and I sure as fuck don't like you. And I don't see us being friends anytime soon but let's just be civil and fucking move on, don't need to speak to each other unless needed, otherwise we both stay out of each other’s way” I sighed, completely fed up with Lori's shit. What she needs is a decent reality check and to get off the high horse she been residing on. It’s time to join the real world and stop being such a cunt. _Fuck I hate that word, but that's how pissed off and frustrated she has me. It's almost worse than high school sometimes. And it needs to end._

And with saying my piece I walked away. I was sick of the conversation. It was going nowhere, it was just a way for Lori to make another dig at me, or attempt to.

 

 

Coming out the door to second floor I passed Carol, who glared at me as I walked past before opening her mouth.

 

“See, even Daryl's too embarrassed to stick around you...didn't want to get caught coming out of your room. Bet he even snuck out while you were sleeping...I told you he'd regret it” Carol smirked walking away.

 _How the fuck did she know he didn't stay?_ _Well this is a delightful start to the day. Just when I thought I'd got the upper hand, the other one swoops in and knock me back._ I don't think she's right, even with the voice in the back of my head telling me she is. I'm refusing to listen to it and Carol right now.

I continued walking, ignoring her snickering as she walked away. All I could hope for was that my face didn't give too much away because I was fuming on the inside. I hated that they could both affect me so easily. They were certainly getting the hang of being manipulative with their words.

Its barely ten o'clock in the morning and look at the bullshit I've already had to deal with. I really hope that's the worst of the day. But that would be foolish of me to think, I already knew that.

 

 

I bypassed everyone and walked straight to my room, ignoring the looks I was probably getting. I was already over this day. To distract myself I was going to go through the locker room. I had found the master set of keys in one of the drawers in the Chief's desk. I hoped there would be something worth taking, I was almost dreading to find mouldy sandwiches or worse. It kind of bought me back to being at school. Hopefully grown adults didn't leave such things in the lockers. My guess was that I would find personal items of the previous owner and probably toiletries, those I would take. As for the personal items, I would leave them where they were, they meant nothing to me and I felt like I was disrespecting the dead taking it. _Even though the dead didn't care, they were more concerned about digging their teeth into you._

I grabbed my machete and my Baretta, placing it in the holster before heading to the locker room.

 

 

I looked longingly at the showers. It had been quite a while since I'd had hot shower. Last one had been...at Camp Nazi, the night before I left. Since then I had been bathing where I could, which usually meant either in the frigid waters of a river or a cloth and bucket. Both of which I hated, the river option probably being the worst though, especially with winter nipping at our heels now.

I wondered if they still worked, or if they didn't, would we be able to get them fixed? I suppose it depended on how long we would be staying here for. And that always depended on the walkers.

 

 

It had distracted me long enough, that I was sure at least an hour or so had passed. And without anymore visits from the _desperate_ housewives. So, that's a bonus in itself. _The world is pretty tragic when that is one thing I'm happy about._

Well I had been right, finding mostly personal items, photos, car keys, cell phones, nothing worth anything now, at least not to me. I did however find some granola bars, a couple of packs of cigarettes, _which I found to be quite ironic to find those in a fire-station,_ Daryl and T-dog would surely fight over them. I shoved one of the full packs into my pocket, just in case, _and it would smooth over whatever made Daryl leave this morning. It's not a bribe, more of peace offer._

Whatever I found useful I dropped into a plastic bag I had found. There were two dozen lockers and a lot more keys left on the chain. I silently wondered what else these could open...maybe some of the storage rooms downstairs in the garage? Couldn't hurt to check...

 

“So, you stole my room-mate last night?” Rick smirked, something close to a shit eating grin on his face, startling me as he entered, taking a seat next me on the bench.

“He was bunking with you?” I asked surprised, still trying to ease my heart hammering against my chest. _Well that solves one question I had to ask him._

“Yeah, didn't you know? Or did you think he was bunking in with Carol?” he said trying to contain his smirk and failing. “Yeah, he snuck back in, in the early hours. Then heard him leave this morning, said he was going hunting, alone this time I see...”

“Well...yeah I guess. I didn't want to ask in case that was the answer. I mean look how put out I got when they went hunting together yesterday...although Daryl told me Lori and Carol roped him into taking Carol, saying she _needed_ to go” I grimaced, it still bothered me the tactics these women were using.

“Huh...didn't know that. Lori's really making it difficult for you, isn't she?” he asked.

“That and a certain Sheriff told her I was bunking with him didn't help things” I said rolling my eyes at him.

“Hey! I already apologised for that!” he scoffed.

“I know. But it really didn't help. Had a _lovely_ chat with her this morning...Carl followed me up to the roof when you guys were fighting. I felt sorry for him. I kept him distracted, trying to avoid his questions he kept asking, well some of them. But then Lori came up to the roof...Can't say she was exactly happy to see him there with me...” I breathed.

“I bet. I honestly don't know how to get through to her anymore. And I hate that we're fighting in front of Carl...”

“But you just can't help it with her?” I quirked an eyebrow at him.

He nodded. “Never used to be like this, not this bad anyway. We fought sometimes but never to this extent. But I guess those fights were more about the trivial stuff, bills, me coming home late...I dunno I always felt like she was never happy with me. I guess if the shit hadn't hit the fan like it did, we more than likely would have separated.”

“Well I tried to talk to Carl, let him know this isn't his fault if he was thinking it, then just distracted him before Lori came upstairs and promptly told him to go downstairs.”

“So, what her rant this time about?” Rick asked.

I snorted. “Same thing as always. Me.”

“Aren't you just the hot topic of conversation...”

“Yeah well she definitely trying to dig the knife in. Carol obviously had told her how she walked in on Daryl and I last night, don't know what she said, but I doubt it was the truth, only her version of it. Lori called me whore, said Daryl would smarten up soon enough and kick me to the curb. Told me to stay away from _you_ ” I gave him a pointed look, “and Carl.” I sighed heavily, “They both aren't making it easy but I'm stuck with what I can do to get them to back off.” I had decided to leave out the part about Shane out, as it would only hurt Rick more and if Lori did feel something for Shane I don't think it’s my place to say, not that I think she would confess that to him now. She knows it would hurt whatever is left of their relationship, especially since Shane is now gone. _But damn does she deserve to have her world shattered, if only it didn't affect others too._

“She called you a whore?” Rick said shaking his head.

“Pretty bold of her I thought” I said brushing the comment off.

“Very” Rick said flatly.

 

I swallowed nervously, I wanted to know one thing but was feeling so embarrassed to ask. I took another deep breath, “Ok, just one question though completely off topic...We weren't loud were we last night?” I asked, the words tumbling out, my cheeks stained pink with blush.

“I dunno, I had to use a pillow as a sound barrier” he laughed.

“Oh shit...you're kidding, right?” I was a little worried now, burying my head in my hands. Last thing I needed was for everyone to hear that.

“Yes, I'm kidding. You're on the other side of the room, unless you're a screamer, no one heard” Rick said rolling his eyes at me, “Although I overheard Lori and Carol this morning before you came in for breakfast, guess Carol walked in at the wrong time” he smirked.

“Think it was more the right time to be honest. Sends a clear fucking message” I grinned, then sighed heavily. “She did have a few things to say to him while they were out hunting and then last night she tried to tell him not to do this or he'd end up regretting it again...she was pretty fucking conniving if you ask me. If that doesn't send a clear message, then I don't know what will. Now your wife...” I screwed my face up, trying to avoid the aneurysm threatening to come forward at just the mention of her name.

“Well I don't think the same tactics would go down well” he said trying to hold a serious face and failing.

“Fucking hell Grimes, seriously? No, can't repeat plans sorry” I said trying to sound nonchalant at the end. “I honestly think only time will heal this wound between her and I. And if you guys made up...” I trailed off.

“Don't see _that_ happening any time soon” he grumbled.

“You still love her though?” I asked.

“Course I do...it’s just...”

“She made some poor choices” I offered.

“That's one word for it. My version didn't sound so _clean_.” he huffed.

“I bet. A lot more colourful fucking language I'm guessing.”

He nodded.

“Well I've said it to you before, if you want to sort it out you're gonna have to talk to her...eventually. But I'm only offering advice, whether you choose to listen or not is a different story. Just...please...no more stirring Lori up at my expense. Stop offering my head on the chopping block, would ya? Please?” I said shooting him a serious look.

His lips twitched. “Yeah. I tried to explain to her. But she was in no mood to hear it. I left it last night...At least I got a good night's sleep without her harping on...I'll try again today but not liking my chances. She's sour as an old bear today...I'd blame it on the pregnancy but...”

I laughed. “Your. Wife.”

Rick just rolled his eyes at me.

“I'd say she'll come around eventually but I'm honestly not sure she'd make the first move here. Either that or she'd get jealous if you started hooking up with somebody. Jealousy a powerful motivator” I smiled.

“Isn't exactly many available woman around and to be honest I'd feel like a scumbag doing it. I know its twisted but I'm still married to her, no matter how estranged we are currently.”

“The honourable Rick Grimes” I chuckled, “Well then you need another plan, if you're not seducing other women.”

Rick once again rolled his eyes at me. “Did he tell you he was going hunting this morning?” he asks intrigued and changing the subject.

I shook my head. “Nope, never mentioned it. I'm taking it as a sign that he just wanted _alone time_ , away from the group, otherwise he would have asked someone to go with. He can hopefully work out whatever he's got brewing in his head. If he wants to talk, _which is not likely,_ he will.”

“Don't it bother you that he just takes off like that?” he asks.

“Of course. But that's Daryl for ya. If he comes back in one piece and is happy to see me, what more can I ask for?”

“Do you love him?” his voice hesitant.

I think for a minute, unsure. “Why you asking me this?...I...I don't know. There's chemistry sure, I know I feel something for him but can't determine what. It's still new and with me just getting back to you guys...I don't wanna rush it.”

Rick scoffed and then quirked an eyebrow at me. I punched him in the shoulder.

“Ass. Not what I meant” I growled. “I just mean...I don't even know if this is just sex or what. I don't know if he's the sort of man to have that deeper connection with someone or if he's just not wanting it. Hell, I dunno...I'm afraid if I did bring this up, I'd be seeing a Daryl shaped hole in the wall where he's just blown through. Daryl's a frigging rubix cube when I try figure him out. I get frustrated and give up. And then there's the whole Carol issue, which isn't going to go away anytime soon by the looks of it. Even with her walking in last night while I was straddling Daryl. She still had the nerve to say he'll regret it like he did the other day, with me there. She had balls, I'll give her that. I dunno, now I'm rambling and you're looking at me like I'm the fucking crazy one.” I blew out a big breath after my long explanation.

“You could have just said _I don't know_ ” he chuckled.

“Well it's what happens when you ask a woman a question, they give you more than a three-word answer.” I quipped.

“I'd say talk to him but its Daryl, so you gotta pick your moments carefully” he reasoned. _Yeah when I'm sitting in his lap half naked,_ I mused to myself.

“Fuck I sound like such a girl right now. Insecure, jealous, doubting everything...I'm a real fucking catch” I said sarcastically.

“Yes, you do sound like a girl right now. But I'd rather listen to you than my wife currently.”

“I'm not sure if that's a compliment or an insult” I said narrowing my eyes.

“Take it however you wish” he grinned.

 

“You finished in here?” he asked as he stood up.

“Think so. Found some stuff, not a lot but we'll take what we can get I guess” I said standing, taking the bag with me. “I found these keys in the Chief's office, might help with getting into the storage rooms downstairs I imagine” I said holding out the keys for him. He took them and smiled.

“Yeah might go have look, will call out if I need a hand” he said before walking off towards the stairs.

 

 

I'd placed the bag of items on the table as I walked by, ignoring the look I got from both Carol and Lori, who were sorting out the kitchen. I grabbed one of the granola bars from the bag.

“There's some toiletries in there, wasn't much else” I said to no one in particular.

“You _could_ help us with the cooking” Lori snapped.

“Really?” I rolled my eyes. “I could but...I have other plans. Another time” I said sarcastically. I know it’s not my usual style to _engage_ with her. But it’s been a bit of a rough morning and sometimes you just have to use your bark instead of your bite.

Walking off towards the other offices I decided to start searching for other items we would be able to use and to get away from Lori before I decided against using my bite. I could hear her muttering to Carol as I left. _One point to me._ I wondered if she'd overheard my conversation with Rick, it could be one of the many reasons why she's pissed at me today, honestly, I think the main reason is that I'm breathing the same air as her. _Or she's just a raging hormonal pregnant witch...or that,_ I snickered to myself.

 

 

Carl had come to find me about an hour later, while I was rifling through one of the offices, a few doors down from my room. I had just managed to find a bottle of whiskey that had been stashed in one of the bottom drawers of the desk when Carl strode into the room.

“Hey kid, what’s up?” I ask, placing the bottle on the desk as I closed the drawer.

“Dad sent me to find you, said he needed some help with one of the storage rooms, he's in the garage” he said.

“Alright. I'll be on my way then” I smiled, as Carl left the room.

 

There was still a bit more to search through in this room, but it could wait till later. I grabbed the bottle of whiskey and walked back to the kitchen, thankfully Carol nor Lori were nowhere to be seen.

“Hey T, I found this in the office back there” I said handing over the whiskey.

“Guess drinks are on you tonight” he smiled, as he started to look through the bag on the bench I had placed there earlier.

“I'd say go run it by Hershel first see if he needs any alcohol for his medical kit first” I said, “Then drinks are on me if he doesn't need it all. And don't take all the smokes either” I grinned, as I walked away.

 

 

I went to make my way downstairs to see what Rick needed help with. I hoped it would keep me distracted, like sorting through the offices did, at least for a while.

I reached the bottom of the stairs, the door to the garage was slightly ajar. I was about to walk through when I heard voices and stopped. _Why I wasn't sure._ I stood there and listened.

 

_“You really should let her know when you go hunting” Rick says._

_“She figured it out 'm sure” Daryl dismissed Rick._

_“She didn't say it but she was worried 'bout ya. Had a good chat 'bout you today with her too” Rick teases._

_Daryl is silent for a few seconds before answering. “Oh yeah, what'd she say?” he asked trying to sound uncaring about the answer. I'm sure Rick too knew better._

_“Oh, how much of a stud you were last night” he smirked._ I wanted to kick Rick's ass right now. He has no filter sometimes I swear. _“I'm kidding, I'm kidding. She kept her mouth shut about that.”_ And I swear Rick sounded almost disappointed about that fact. _“Worried about your ass when you're away. Think she's just extra worried now, especially after just finding us again. Pretty sure she's just waiting for it all to turn to shit and for us to kick her out. And then Lori and Carol aren't making it easy for her either...Look I know ya like going out alone but I'm sure she wouldn't mind going out when you next go hunting, if only to get away from the drama around here” Rick sighed._

_“Ya talked to Lori yet?” Daryl asked._

_Rick snorted. “Tried and tried. Fucking impossible at the moment.”_

_“Carol stuck 'er nose 'n twice, once while out huntin' an' again last night. Told 'er she needs to back off, should 'ave been clear last night when she walked in but still think she don't get it” he huffed._

_“Yeah Camille said as much. I'm worried if they keep it up, she'll just take off one night without us knowing” Rick said._

_“Nah she won't take off, she ain't like that. But think yer' right if Carol an' Lori keep it up, she's gonna crack. But don't know what else ta do ta get 'em ta back off. She's already been through 'nough as it is” Daryl sighed._ That was almost him saying he cares. Shit, guess that as good as when coming from a Dixon. I shouldn't read into it though, he obviously didn't want to stay last night, no matter what he'd said to me. And that still irked me a bit.

 _“So, you're really into her then?” Rick asked._ Fuck he was worse than Glenn sometimes about gossip. But I held my breath waiting for him to answer.

_“I dunno...she's...” Daryl paused._

_“She's...what?” Rick questioned. “C'mon I've seen the way ya look at her man.”_ All hail our resident gossip queen...

_Daryl was silent. Either he was uncomfortable about the questioning or he didn't know the answer._

_“Well when ya figure it out, make sure you let her know, don't string her along.”_

_“Ya sound like 'er father” Daryl smirked._

_“Someone's gotta look out for her and I'd hate to see her go. Just sayin', she hasn't said it to me but it’s obvious, the girl has fallen for you, don't think she even realises it herself. But its plain as day to see how she looks at you. Think though she's afraid you're just after a quick fuck” Rick shrugged. “You're right though, she's been through a lot. And I know she doubts herself a lot, worried about all she had to do before after those men took her, thinks she isn't good enough for you because of that, that you deserve better than her...Did she know you were coming back to sleep on your bed last night?” he asked._

_Daryl shook his head._

_“All I'm sayin' is, just think about what you want. If it’s not her and its someone else, just tell her. She just wants you to be happy, regardless of how she feels” Rick sighed._

_“Know, she said as much” Daryl said quietly._

I could see them both through the crack of the door, Daryl had his eyes firmly planted on the ground as he thought things over silently. Rick on the other hand looked smug. I couldn't be mad for him having this conversation with Daryl because I knew deep down it would have taken me days, if not weeks before I plucked up the courage to ask him what the hell is going on. Maybe with Rick planting the seed, he would come to some conclusion on his own. One can hope, right?

And I did think over what Rick had been saying to Daryl. I know I care for him but how much I'm not sure. It's been so up and down with us, sure the sex is fantastic but I'm not about to settle for only good sex, I deserve more, don't I? Or after all the bad things I've done do I deserve to find happiness? I think Rick just wanted to give us both a push. He was persistent, I'd give him that. And at least his intentions were honourable.

 

I waited a few before minutes as they both started talking over the woods that looked promising for hunting before I made myself known, making a little noise before pushing the door back, it creaked loudly, both men stopping their conversation as I entered. I pretended that I hadn't heard their previous conversation, walking in with a smile on my face. Rick smiled back, Daryl was...Daryl, unreadable as usual. It almost made me want to laugh out loud. _But that would seem crazy._

 

“So...hear you're needing my help?” I question Rick, resisting rolling my eyes at him and almost feeling like this was a set-up.

“Yeah, figured you'd want a break from...” he trailed off, giving me a knowing look. He was resisting saying either of their names.

“And interrupt my digging through drawers for bottles of whiskey” I snorted.

“Ya found some?” Daryl asked.

“Full, unopened bottle, the good stuff too. But uh...got T to give to Hershel, see if he needed any for his medical kit first. Tell ya I'm far too fucking practical these days. But I did manage to find these in one of the lockers” I smiled, digging the packet of smokes out of my pocket and chucking them to him. Rick smiled and I saw Daryl's lips twitching. “And I've managed to avoid your wife for at least the last hour or so and haven't been called a whore since this morning, so my day must be improving.”

Daryl gave me a questioning look, I gave him one back that said _I'll fill you in later._ Rick didn't miss this exchange between Daryl and I, the smug look returning to his face.

“Did I come down here so we could all stare at each other?” I joked.

“Another smart-ass remark like that young lady and I'll send you to your room with no supper” Rick said in his most dad-like voice he could muster.

I chuckled, then rolled my eyes at him. I resisted the urge to not call him dad, in case either of them thought I had been eavesdropping on their conversation. I didn't particularly want to be found out. I figured Daryl would rather keep it secret at this point and I didn't want to embarrass him.

“Um...I bett'r go...got watch” Daryl mumbled as he hurried upstairs. I watched he hastily retreated closing the door to the garage behind him. I looked over to Rick and he too looked a bit surprised how fast Daryl had ran out of here.

“Was it something I said?” I hesitantly said.

“No, think that was me...Anyway don't worry about it, he'll be fine in no time” Rick said smiling at me.

“You sure? He could hardly look me in the eyes” I pointed out.

“Nah he'll be fine” Rick said brushing me off. I was unsure whether I should say I had overheard their conversation, in the end I decided to keep that fact to myself.

“Seriously though, I thought you might want to help me barricade that front entrance properly. It held for the night but we need to strengthen it so we have a fighting chance at keeping the walkers out.” Rick said.

“And people” I added, Rick nodded. “Think we can use what's here already or would be need to loot the houses across the street for materials?” I ask.

“There should be enough. If not, as you said we can find it one of the houses.”

 

 

“Did you find anything in the storage rooms?” I ask, wedging another piece of furniture into the barricade.

“I did. And thank you for the keys. Made it much easier to break in” Rick said.

“The cop who confessed to breaking and entering” I chuckled.

“Sounds like a play” Rick said.

“Sounds like a bad play” I countered.

He sighed heavily. “Found two walkers locked in one of those rooms. Didn't put up much of a fight.”

“Just the two?” I ask.

“Yeah. Another two firemen, still in uniform. Guess they had turned and the others didn't have the heart to kill them” he said.

“It's not easy to kill, especially if you know the person.”

Rick fell silent and I knew he was thinking of Shane. _Fuck. You really know how to push people's buttons._ “Sorry Rick, I'd said it without thinking” I said apologising.

He shook his head at me. “It's ok. Made me think of him too when I saw them in there” he sighed. “C'mon let's get this done” he said walking back to the office across the hall.

 

 

We'd managed to make a decent barricade out of the furniture we had available. And the ones we couldn't make fit, we broke down into smaller pieces, tightly wedging them in place. It would hold against a good handful of them. People on the other hand, well it would slow them down and that's what mattered.

 

The sound of footsteps descending the stairs made both of us stop our work and look to see who it was. I inwardly grimaced. _What?...so we're onto round three for today?_

“Rick, I need to speak to you...A _lone_ ” Lori said, arms folded across her chest, glaring in my direction for a few seconds before she looked back to Rick.

“What do we need to talk about?” Rick replied sharply.

I went back to wedging in boards in between the furniture we had already placed, turning my back on the soon to be fighting couple. I wasn't going to leave, if she wanted to be alone with Rick, they can go somewhere else.

“It's _personal_ ” she said.

“It's fine Rick. I'll finish up here then head to the garage.”

“You sure?” Rick said, and I could detect the slightest hint of _'please save me'_ in his voice. But I'd had enough run-ins with his wife today, so unfortunately, he was on his own for now.

“She said it's fine” Lori bit out and she started to ascend the stairs.

I heard Rick grumble something inaudible as he followed after her. I did feel sorry for him, no one deserves to have to listen to her but I was hoping that Rick would get back on his wife's good side, which would hopefully help me out. _This is the theory._

 

 

I'd been down here on my own for about fifteen minutes, thankfully I hadn't heard any yelling coming from the top of the stairs for at least thirteen of them. I doubted whatever Lori had to say to Rick was _personal,_ as she put it. All she ever seemed to do was complain these days. I can say I feel sorry for Rick being married to her and I can understand why he decided to take a room without her in it. And I couldn’t fault him for the choice in room-mate he had either. I thought back to last night and Daryl's questions, particularly about my rooming situation. Especially when he'd said I could have shared with him, it bought a smile to my face. I hoped that I hadn't offended him because I didn't take him up on that offer. And I wondered if the offer still stands, sure I wasn't going to room with him and Rick but...

_I was wrong, Daryl Dixon is far more complex than a rubix cube._

 

The sound of something crashing to the ground from down the hallway startled me. My hand instantly clutching my chest. I hated how one little noise could have you jumping out of your skin. I think it was more to do with the fact that I was alone down here by myself, the paranoia starting to creep back in and magnifying.

 

I grabbed my machete off the desk and looked down the darkened hallway. I could feel my heart starting to beat faster in my chest. I took a few cautious steps down the hallway, glancing to my left and right as I passed vacant offices. Nothing inhabiting them, and I wasn't sure if I was happy about that or it made me more anxious.

 

A figure appeared at the end, coming from a rec room, that further lead out to the car park. But the door was locked. _Wasn't it?_ As the figure moved a step closer I instantly recognised the gait of the walker. _Of course, this bastard appears when I'm on my own. Where's the fun if I have back-up, right? I see my magnet is back in full power again. Fucking typical._ I wryly thought.

 

Taking another few steps forward the walker looked in my direction, snarling at me as its pace quickened. As I clutched the handle on the machete, my fingers curling around the grip, I saw another shadow come out from the doorway. _Of course, one would have been too easy._ Another following after it. _Fucking typical._ Soon there were four walkers making their way down the long hallway towards me. I was quick to take out the first walker, the machete taking its head clean off and rolling down the hall behind me, the body dropping to the floor. The second I managed to kick out its knee, dropping the heavy body to the floor before I impaled the blade through its skull. The blade was coated in dark blood now, running down it till it started to drip onto my hand.

The two were only a few feet away after I had pulled the blade free. Knowing I wouldn't have enough time to get both in one swing, I went to reach for my Baretta, and taking a step back, I fumbled, forgetting the body of the walker I had just killed and dropped the gun to the ground. _Fuck!_ I cursed to myself. Abandoning the gun for now I gripped the handle tighter and pushed the walker closest to me, sending it back a few steps, grunting as I did so. As the other walker took a step forward towards me, I stabbed the walker though the side of its head, effectively ending its growling towards me. I removed the blade from the skull, it making that horrible squelching noise I hated so much.

 

As I looked through the rec room and through the open door I saw more walkers approaching. _Fuck._ There had to be at least eight that I could see coming towards the door. I knew I needed to shut this damn door before the walkers came in, otherwise I wouldn't stand a chance on my own against them. And I still had one more walker to kill before I could go for the door and try to shut it.

 

The last remaining walker grabbed my arm, pulling me closer and with as much anger as I could muster I bought the machete down on top of the walker's head. The grip loosening immediately and then dropped to the floor. I was panting slightly after my rage workout.

 

Looking at the door I noticed a set of keys hanging in the lock, from the outside, someone was trying to get in. _Someone who had a set of keys._ Looking to the ground in the doorway I saw the mangled body of whom I guessed the keys belonged to. I couldn't work out how he didn't check before coming to open the door to get inside. Or had the group of walkers been chasing after him? And this was his last resort?

I pulled myself from my thoughts and ran for the door and pulled the keys from the lock and swinging the door shut. It had an inch to go before walkers pushed back against the door. I wasn't sure how many. I slammed my shoulder none too gently into the steel door. _That was going to bruise._ Trying to push it closed. My feet were starting to slip as the walkers forced the door open, dead fingers reaching through the small opening, reaching for me and anything else they could grab on to. I wanted to call out but I was having a hard time finding my voice. _But if I didn't warn them and I failed they would end up dead just like me._ I was battling an inner war with myself as I pushed every muscle in my body and put as much as my weight against the door, trying to hold them back.

I could feel how they pushed harder against the door and how I was slowly losing this battle with the door and the walkers. But I wasn't about to give up. I would die defending my family. My breathing was heavy as I used every ounce of strength I could find. _If I still had my gun I could have shot a few of them, giving myself a better chance at closing this fucking door._ The inner war still raging inside me. I honestly didn't know if the gun would have evened out my chances more but as usual I like to blame myself for the simplest of things. I was still however clutching the machete but it wouldn't be much help, as I would be able to press my body against the door as well as swing the blade. And then knowing my luck the dead walker's body would have fallen in the gap, giving me little to no chance of closing the door, let alone taking out the walkers before they sauntered in like they owned the place.

I wasn't going to be able to hold this for long I knew what I needed to do and I knew this was only going to make things harder. I called out for help.

 

“Rick!” I yelled. This only seemed to anger the walkers more, riling them up, pushing harder against the door. My feet were slipping further as I was being pushed back, a rotted growling head appeared through the opening, snapping its jaws at me.

 

“Daryl!” I yelled one last time, I hoped someone had heard me. _Where were they? Did they even hear me?_ I hoped they could shut the door if I failed, I thought to myself. I was beyond terrified now, my body aching. The dead forcing the door open wider, the crack growing wider. I was losing this battle, time seemed to have slow down, it felt like an eternity. Death was just inches away, creeping closer.

 

_Maybe I wasn't the shark after all...Even the hunter becomes the hunted sometimes..._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So that was a lot longer than I initially intended. Its official I don't do short chapters anymore lol.  
> I know there was a lot of conversations in there. But I'm pretty happy with how it turned out. Even if Rick is turning out to be a bit of a gossip. I do kind of adore him as a gossip though. Lori...don't worry she's gonna get hers soon! I was thinking it would be this chapter but plans changed, as they so often do.  
> What's your thoughts on Daryl this chapter?  
> FYI...next chapter you won't have to wait as long, but this also depends when I get my internet back. Just in case you have to wait a week or two....  
> Love to hear what you thought as usual!!


	42. Along Comes Mary

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I'm all moved in to my new house. I swear that took more time than I thought it would. But finally settled in so I can finally get back to writing. Sorry it's taken so long to get this next chapter out, all the stress of moving wiped my inspiration. But I'm back at it, so no need to worry, I have a plan for how I'm going to tie this all up before I go on to Season 3...really looking forward to writing some of the story-lines.  
> Just wanted to say thanks to all the lovely reviews I got since posting the last chapter. I'm stoked that new people are finding the story and love it as much as I love writing this. And to think I was just gonna keep this story for myself and not publish. All the reviews have been sooooo awesome and I appreciate every one of them. So keep up the niceness! :D
> 
> Ok so I better let you guys read since I left in an awful cliffhanger last chapter...
> 
> Hope you guys enjoy!

I was grunting and groaning just as much as the walkers right now. _Not an attractive quality at all. I probably would have laughed at myself thinking how sexual it all sounded, the one major thing giving it away was the uninvited guests on the other side of the door...and Daryl nowhere in sight,_ I laughed to myself, for one second forgetting the situation I was in, before another shove from the other side bought be back to reality. The door was slowly but surely getting pushed further open, a few more inches and one of them would be able to get through the door. Luckily for me, _the one lucky thing about this situation,_ the way the walker was positioned it hadn't got either one of its arms through the door and effectively blocked out the remaining walkers. But I could see other hands coming around the door at different heights, but only barely.

 

One hard push from the other side sent me back a few inches and I immediately had to shove my shoulder against the door once again. I felt the pain spike in my shoulder and travel down my arm. _Yeah it was going to bruise, and this would delay me being able to take my bow out again. I really wanted to get back into the swing of things, train my body to get used to it again. Just another god damn delay._ Injuries were just a part of this life now. One I was far too familiar with.

 

 

I had no idea if anyone had heard me yelling before. I hoped they had. But also, the more I yelled, the more I aggravated the bastards on the other side. It was fucking double edged sword, no matter what I did it always seemed to blow back up in my face. And it didn't help that it felt like time was moving so slowly, it felt like I had been here fending off these walkers for an hour, although I was sure that with all the adrenaline pumping through me right now, no more than a minute had passed. It still felt like a lifetime though. And I kept muttering prayers to myself and whoever else was listening to send some god damn help. And of course, a fair amount of swearing to boot.

 

 

Finally, I could hear hurried footsteps coming down the hallway and hoped to god they were alive and not more walkers. _Please let it be the cavalry! And thank you to whoever was listening._

They seemed to have slowed down. Seems they had found my breadcrumbs and were probably being extra cautious right now as they wouldn't know what to expect, probably fearing more walkers were going to appear around the next corner. I know that would be my first thought. _Always expect some dead bastard is about to jump out at you around the next corner. No wonder I was on edge all the time._ Well they would be half right; the walkers _would_ be around the next corner if they didn't hurry the fuck up and help me close this damn door.

 

“Help me damnit!” I grunted out, trying to will the person to hurry the fuck up.

I saw the shadow of the person as they neared the door and then I was more than surprised to see Carol standing in the doorway, clutching my Baretta at her side. I'm sure the shock was written quite clearly over my face. _But seriously she was one of the last people I would expect to see first._ I thought she would be the last one to come to my aid. I felt myself panic as I saw her raise my gun, pointing it towards me.

“Carol...” I said in a slow calm voice, swallowing nervously, my eyes fixed on the gun. The sound of the walkers seeming to drown out as my eyes never strayed from the barrel of the gun.

 

**Bang! Bang!**

Two shots were fired and not at me, which surprised me further. Feeling the weight lift slightly from the door. Carol moved forward, lowering the gun.

“Help me close the door” I grunted, pushing my shoulder back against the door, sucking in a huge breath as my shoulder made contact with the steel door again. Carol and I pushed against the door, only to be still met with resistance. We'd managed get back some of the ground I had lost previously but it still wasn't enough to close it completely. These damn walkers were not giving up. _Not that I expected them to. The shots only seeming to piss them off more. Again, double edged sword..._

“Did...did anyone else...hear me?” I huff.

“I don't know...I had come down to talk to you...saw the dead walkers in the hall” Carol said.

_She wanted to talk to me...What the hell about? She'd said her piece this morning, hadn't she? I was afraid to ask what she wanted to talk about. I assume it had to do with Daryl. God only knows what the rant is this time, or what Lori has put her up to. Right now I didn't honestly care, I had bigger things to worry about...like not dying currently._

“Should I...go get someone?” she asked timidly.

“No!” I growled, “Any more weight off this door and I won't be able to hold it, not on my own. They should 'ave heard those shots.”

“Should we yell? Someone would hear...” she suggested.

“Seems to rile _them_ up more and its hard enough holding the door as it is” I said just as I felt the pressure increase against the door. I slammed my shoulder once again into the door, gritting my teeth and wincing loudly this time.

“You're gonna dislocate it if you keep doing that” she said in a slightly condescending manner.

“Currently it's the only way I've been able to close the door ever so slightly. It'll heal. Rather have a busted shoulder and be alive than the alternative” I said as the pain ran back and forth through my arm. I hate to say it but she was right, if I slammed it hard enough against the door, sooner rather than later it would dislocate. _But at the expense of a busted shoulder it could be so much worse._

 

 

“Camille?” I heard Glenn whisper harshly from further down the hall. Probably somewhere close to where the walker bodies were dropped in the corridor.

“Camille?” he whispered harshly again.

“Glenn!” I growled, as a walker banged hard against the door, making the door slightly vibrate.

A few seconds later Glenn appeared at the doorway, looking to each of us and trying to take in the situation. He had a little bit of the deer in headlights look currently, probably racking his brain as to how the door got open in the first place.

“Help us” I said through clenched teeth, still trying keep the door from opening any further, “Get the walker's head in the doorway, so we can close the damn thing” I said in a slightly angry tone. It wasn't directed at him, well not all of it, I just needed to get this damn door closed so then I could figure out how the hell it got open in the first place. And then get my shoulder seen to, as it was hurting like a bitch right now.

 

Glenn rushed over, grabbed the machete from my hand I had forgotten I had been holding and forced the walker's head back through the door with the end of the handle, using it like a hammer. Carol and I managing to close to door another inch. With the dead walker out of the way, the remaining walkers were now getting their footing and starting to force the door back open. Glenn shoulder barged the door, allowing us to fully close the door. He quickly slid the bolt through the lock and took a step back. The banging continued from the outside, breaking up the heavy breathing coming from both Carol and me.

I gingerly pulled my body away from the door, hissing sharply as pain shot through my shoulder. _It was going to be a monster bruise I could already feel it. And I knew I was going to be mother-henned because of it...and this would possibly piss me off._ I walked across the room and leaned up against the wall opposite the door, trying to get my breath back and slowly testing out my shoulder to see how bad it was. I could feel both Carol and Glenn watching me but neither were saying anything just yet.

 

All three of us looked to the doorway when we heard hurried footsteps coming down the hallway. Rick, Daryl, Maggie and Beth appearing, everyone carrying a weapon. Then all eyes looked to each one of us, silently asking what the hell happened. I noticed Daryl's eyes locked on me, doing a full body scan for visible injuries. I ducked my head, feeling self-conscious under his gaze. There were times when he looks at me and it makes me submissive and wanting to keep my eyes downcast until I get the ok from him. And I wasn't sure how or when _that_ happened.

 

Daryl seemed to ignore Rick's authoritative aura who was about to speak up, when Daryl blew right past him, straight over to me. He stood in front of me and I could feel him urging me to look up. And because the submissive feeling was still present I didn't hesitate looking up at him. He looked worried, his eyes wild, searching my face for something but I wasn't sure what.

“ 'm fine” I said rolling my eyes and trying to sound reassuring.

I had hardly finished the sentence when Daryl pushed himself forward and crashed his lips to mine, demanding my attention. His hands rested on each side of my face, holding me where he wanted me, tilting my head back so he could deepen the kiss. I was so taken off guard in that moment, it thankfully stopped me from moaning into his mouth. The force of the kiss, sending me back a step, till my shoulder hit the wall and I broke the kiss wincing.

His eyes searched mine again, seeing the pained look on my face.

“Just my shoulder, used it as a battering ram against the door, it'll be fine” I quietly explained trying to brush it off again.

Someone coughed not too subtly from behind Daryl. He rested his forehead against mine, holding my gaze.

“Reckless” he whispered. I smiled in reply. He placed another chaste kiss on my lips, this one more tender and brief than the last, before he smiled against my lips and pulled away. My lips still tingling from both kisses, to me they had said a lot. It felt more deliberate and less heat of the moment.

He dropped his hands from my face, coming to stand between Carol and I, his body still so close to mine and his hand resting on my lower back. I wanted to look over to Carol, to see her reaction but Daryl's body was blocking her from my view. Although there was no mistaking his intentions right now, I wouldn't think him to be the guy to declare his feelings out loud, so instead he goes the Dixon way about it. _But from what I've heard about his brother, who's more words than action and that's putting it politely, I guess this was the Daryl Dixon way of going about things. Actions speak louder than words._ But I reckon if he'd had the choice he would have preferred there to be no audience. _It seems Rick's talk had given him some clarity or at least a direction_. The rest of the group now looking on. I hadn't heard the rest of them enter the room but in all fairness I was slightly distracted. Everyone was failing to hide the smiles on their faces, some looked a little more smug than the others. Even Lori looked surprised and I didn't think she had that emotion in her anymore. I was also fighting not to grin like a Cheshire cat right now.

 

Rick was now looking to me, the smug look disappearing. He was in _cop-mode_ , as he tried to assess the situation. I could see the change in him, plain as day. It was like a wind-shield wiper, one minute it's _my friend, Rick_ then it's _cop-mode Rick._ I silently wondered if anyone else saw these changes in him. They were subtle but they were there.

“ 'm fine” I repeated. I felt Daryl tense slightly beside me, knowing full well he'd heard me wince before.

“What the hell happened?” Rick asked a little frantic, his eyes flicking over to the door, the banging keeping everyone on alert.

“Why th'hell was she down 'ere on 'er own?” Daryl growled accusingly back towards Rick.

I spoke up before Rick could answer. This wasn't Rick's fault. “I was just finishing up, I heard a crash from down the hallway, then there were walkers. Killed the ones in the hallway. Tried to shut the door but couldn't, too many of them pushing against it. Wouldn't have been able to if Carol hadn't of come...” I said glancing around Daryl and over to Carol, my lips trying to form a smile but I couldn't, I instead gave a curt nod. Truthfully if she hadn't of come the walkers would have barged through the door a minute or two later. I did see how she seemed to deliberate for a second before she pushed whatever thought she was having aside and killed the walker before helping me close the door further.

“And then Glenn helped us close the door completely.” I smiled at Glenn. _Much easier to smile at someone I like._

“How'd they get in?” Rick asked.

“I'm not exactly sure but I did manage to pull these from the door before the walkers started pushing on it” I said holding out the set of keys I had found in the lock and chucking them to Rick.

“You found these in the door?” he asked furrowing his brow, as he examined the set of keys.

“Yeah. On the outside. Someone else had a set of them. I think... they got eaten before they could make it inside. I saw a body just outside the door a few feet away. Didn't look too pretty. I don't think was a set-up, I think they were just looking for somewhere safe but...” I shrugged.

The banging on the door was continuing from the outside. At least now the door was locked. The dead-bolt adding extra security. _What if there were more people out there with sets of keys? At least now they can't get in from the outside on that door._ I thought to myself.

 

 

“Maggie, Daryl, T-dog and I will go sort out the walkers” Rick ordered.

“Fine, I'll help too” I said.

“No. You're goin' to get your shoulder looked at. Hershel make sure she stays put” he commanded. Hershel gave Rick a short nod and smiled over at me. He may be an old man but I still think he'd tackle me to the ground if I didn't stay put like the good little patient I'm supposed to be. _I did however have a vision in my head of him chasing me around with his medical kit, threatening to send me to bed without my supper if I didn't stop this nonsense right now._ I chuckled inwardly to myself. I'm sure he would do it too.

“Glenn you're on watch. Everyone else should stay upstairs till we know it’s safe” he said before everyone started to disperse from the room.

 

Daryl squeezed my hip before he followed the others to go deal with the walkers. Hopefully they hadn't attracted more with their loud banging, I thought to myself.

 

“C'mon let's go look at this shoulder” Hershel said ushering me from the room, Glenn walking beside me. The others already walking ahead of us, except Carol who I knew was walking behind us. And the thought that probably worried me the most was she still had my gun. And she'd just seen Daryl publicly _claim_ me. I hoped _that_ wouldn't send her over the edge because I was in no condition to stop her.

 

Glenn grinned over at me and I could tell he was just dying to say something about Daryl. He was practically bouncing on the spot. I rolled my eyes at him.

“Whatever it is, just say it” I smiled.

“So, you and Daryl huh?” he grinned.

“Didn't think it was too much of a secret” I shrugged, only to wince a second later, temporarily forgetting my hurt shoulder. I heard Hershel sigh beside me, I think he was refraining from telling Glenn to not wear his _patient_ out with unnecessary questions. I kinda wished he would say that to Glenn.

“Yeah...but we didn't know if it were just... _stress relief_ ” he coughed and I heard Hershel chuckle beside me, I could feel my cheeks starting to heat up. This was like having _those_ talks in front of your dad. Completely embarrassing.

I risked a glance at Glenn and he was still grinning. “God Glenn, seriously?” I groaned.

“Well you said to say it” he smirked.

“Thought you would try be a little more tactful” I sighed.

“Was I right?” he asked.

“About what?” I was sure what he was asking I was just trying to avoid answering, especially with all the ears listening currently.

“That day you went out hunting with Daryl back at the trailer park, had me pack you a bag...”

“I believe you offered to do that” I growled.

“So, was I right?” he grinned.

“Leave the girl be Glenn” Hershel chided. I had been about to tell Glenn to shut his mouth when Hershel had interrupted me thankfully. I doubt I would have been so polite about it. _He really was nosey sometimes._ Glenn ducked his head and I shot Hershel and thankful smile. Glenn veered off towards the stairs to the roof, sulking a little because Hershel ruined his fun.

“He shouldn't be so nosey” Hershel smiled.

“He shouldn't. But he can't help it. He's always been nosey, every time Daryl and I hung out, he always had to ask or make some comment or give me a look. He means well, he just doesn't know when to shut his mouth sometimes” I chuckled.

Carol was no longer behind us and I wondered at what point she had decided she had heard enough. And if she believed any of it. I was sure at some point today when I was alone she would corner me and say her piece.

 

He led me to my room, instructing me to sit on the couch, as he helped me unbutton my shirt at the top so he could pull it aside and inspect the growing bruise.

“Can you lift your arm?” he asked. I tried, only to his sharply at the pain. “That's a no” he replied.

As Hershel looked over my shoulder, prodding it in places and lifting my arm, I wondered about the keys in the door. I had several theories in my head, the one I mentioned to Rick as it seemed likely with the body outside the door. And the other I didn't want to speak out loud in case I was wrong. If I'd said it out loud I wouldn't be able to take it back. I'm not sure if he even considered it could be an option.

 

Suspecting Lori was my go-to. I really wanted to believe it was her that had set it up. But as conniving as Lori was I didn't think this was her. _I know I sound fucking insane right now. It just didn't add up to me._ Sure, the timing of her pulling Rick away seems suspicious but to ambush me with walkers, that's just fucking stupid, it would endanger everyone else as well as herself. I don't think she's even that stupid. That would be essentially murder if she'd done that and there's no way she'd _ever_ commit such a crime, because then she's no better than me.

And then Carol showing up, I wasn't fully sure if I trusted that or not. _Talk about fucking with your head._ She **had** hesitated for a second before she came to help. And then when she raised my own weapon in my direction...I wasn't sure if she was aiming for me or for the walker. In that moment I believed it was aimed for me. _It's one way to get rid of the competition. Permanently_. I wasn't sure about anything, this was all just one big mess.

 

I'm still convinced someone else was trying to get in. I was sure the mangled body a few feet away from the door, lying on the pavement, was the key-holder. And I hoped to god there weren't any more sets of keys out there. It's bad enough having to fight walkers off but people...people are a whole other story. My trust for other people have plummeted greatly after that whole kidnapping fiasco, and then there's Lori and Carol. I'm not entirely convinced I will be able to fully trust them like I once did. I've had my back-stabbed and burned by those two I just can't see it going back to how it was before. Maybe I'm holding a grudge but they've both said some pretty hurtful shit to me and thrown me to the wolves more than I'd like to admit.

And of course, I thought I was hiding it all so well from everyone. I didn't want them to see me feeling betrayed and broken. I thought I was putting on a brave face and acting like I was taking it on the chin. But obviously, some of them have seen past my mask. I didn't think Rick was as worried as he was. I was glad Daryl knew me enough to know I wasn't going to run from this, at least not yet. Yes, I'd thought about it but it came back to the people I care for, the family I worked so hard to find, even if I had told myself I was giving up finding them. I was always looking, even when I didn't mean to. First thing I would do when I got to somewhere new, I looked for clues. After a while I would look without even thinking about it, it wouldn't be till later when I caught myself doing it.

 

I'd have to bring this up with Rick, get his opinion on the situation, see if he considered Lori an option in this scenario. And as much as I disliked Lori, I wanted my original gut feeling to be right. _If_ it was her, this would cause a whole other shit storm of a mess I would have no idea how to clean up. It would divide the group indefinitely. And I wasn't sure where that would leave me. Therefore, I hoped it was someone else trying to break in.

 

Hershel spoke up, regaining my attention. “Shoulder looks fine, there'll be one hell of a bruise and you have limited mobility at the moment but I suspect that it's a little jarred for the time being...We'll get a cold towel on it for now, try to reduce the swelling to a minimum but other than that it will just be time I'm afraid.” Hershel said laying out his diagnosis. This much I already suspected. I was just a little weary at how Daryl would react when he saw the bruise, I wasn't sure if I expected anger, concern, sympathy or a mixture of all three. It could go any way in my experience. We may have had a moment before downstairs but he's unpredictable with his emotions, so I would just have to brace myself for whatever was to come my way.

 

 

Hershel had left me in my room and had ordered me to rest, giving me a stern look before he walked out the door. _Not that I really knew the meaning of the word._ I hated sitting around when I felt like I should be helping regardless of my current standing injuries. I had noticed too that finger shaped bruises were starting to appear on my forearm from where the walker had grabbed my arm. It had pinched slightly when it had a hold of me but it wasn't sore. _Peachy. Well almost, I bruise just like one though,_ I smirked to myself.

I stood at the window peering through the blinds out on the street. From where the Chief's office was located in the building I couldn't see the parking lot, so I had no idea how the extermination was going. I was supposed to stay indoors and rest, according to Hershel. I silently wondered how long that would last. I knew I was the worst person at being a patient. The apocalypse was not the time to be sitting around getting better, there was shit to do. And it's not like I was shot. _Albeit I thought that was possibility when I had Carol standing in front of me earlier._

That was another thing, I wasn't sure if I should tell anyone about Carol shooting the walker, more so that she'd had a split second of hesitation before she shot it. For the group's sake, I believe I should keep that fact to myself, at least until I've had a chance to talk to Carol. _Now that's a conversation I'm looking forward to having._

 

 

I wasn't sure how long I had been standing in front of the window for before I finally saw the four of them below as they headed for the garage, no one appeared to be injured so that was a positive sign. I wondered how bad it was out there and if the mangled eaten corpse just outside the door was the key-holder or a beacon to draw the walkers in.

 

I was still looking out the window when I heard someone knocking on my door. I was getting lost in my thoughts more and more these days.

Not even bothering to look to see who it was I grunted out a “Come in” before they entered, two sets of boots entering and closing the door behind them. They stood in silence waiting for me to acknowledge them I guessed. I sighed.

“What's up Rick?” I asked.

“How'd you know it was me?” he asked surprised.

“Had a premonition” I said sarcastically, “I figured you'd want to interrogate me sooner or later. I guess Daryl's playing bad cop?” I smirked. I heard him shuffle his feet awkwardly. He either hated being called a cop or was perplexed to how I figured it would be him. It really was a wild guess, Rick was the first obvious choice and I figured Daryl would want to hear whatever I had to say so he could work out what needed to happen next.

I turned around to face them, my injured shoulder now on display, as I had stripped off the shirt and left the singlet on.

“Shit. Should I be checking the door for structural damage?” Rick grinned.

I rolled my eyes at him. Daryl on the other hand had his eyes glued to my shoulder, his jaw clenching and twitching.

“It's gonna be fine. Just a bruise” I said more to Daryl, still unable to get him to lift his eyes. I huffed in frustration, I could just see him giving me a speech later about how I need to take better care of myself and to stop being so damn reckless. And I would roll my eyes at him and tell him I didn't plan this. He'd fire back with something snarky. It was another conversation I wasn't overly thrilled to be having later.

 

“So, what really happened down there?” Rick asked, folding his arms across his chest.

“Like I said, finishing up with the main entrance, heard a crash from further down the hall, then walkers were in the hall.” I explained.

Rick cutting me off, “Did any of them bite or scratch you?” he asked concerned and I saw Daryl look to me with the same amount of concern.

I shook my head. “One managed to grab my arm, gave it a good squeeze but no scratches, Hershel checked that too” I said turning over my arm as I looked down at the finger shaped bruises on my arm.

“Alright. Carry on” Rick instructed.

“After I took out the walkers I went to where I had seen them appear from. I saw the door open and more about to follow suit. It was then I saw the keys in the lock of the door, from the outside, and I think who the keys had belonged to in a messed up, bloody state a few feet away on the ground. I grabbed the keys and tried to shut the door, then Carol and Glenn showed up. You guys not long after” I finished. Rick and Daryl both watched me as I told my version of what happened, Daryl was focusing more on the injuries I had though. I had seen him clench his fists several times. I wasn't sure if that anger was directed at me or himself. _Another thing we would need to talk about later._

 

“You didn't suspect anyone else?” he asked. And I had a feeling what he was asking. _Maybe he'd had that thought also._

I shook my head.

“Are you sure?” Rick eyed me as he asked me. He sounded more surprised than I thought he would.

I nodded. “Going on my gut feeling...I don't think she had anything to do with it...I know the timing is off, she came downstairs and dragged you away and fifteen minutes later, the door to the parking lot is left open...but as much as she wants me gone, I think its a stretch, even for her.”

“It was honestly one of my first thoughts” Rick admitted.

“I was on the same page but the more I thought about it...we both know she isn't a fan of mine but murder isn't exactly her style. Would make her no different to me then and she sure as shit doesn't want to be compared to me, does she?” I smirked.

“Think you're right about that. It was just _bad timing_ that she came and got me when she did?” he asked.

“At this stage, I'm thinking so”

“Huh...thought I would have had to try convince you not to retaliate or something to that effect. But here you are, more rational than I give you credit for.” Rick sighed.

“Your wife's a bitch, granted. But even if that was the situation, I would have just left. I'm not out to harm other people intentionally. And if we find out otherwise, I mean what I said, I'll leave. I won't stick around if people are attempting murder plots against me.”

Daryl's eyes bore into mine, the fear clearly showing and I knew it was something he didn't want to hear, probably feared that I'd leave one way or another. But at the same time, he needed to hear this, straight from me. I wasn't using this as a threat, I just wanted to let them both know where I stood. _Once again all too willing to sacrifice myself for the greater good. Not that I'd consider Lori the greater good._

“Well now, let's not jump to conclusions yet. I too, feel it was an outsider trying to get in, even if Lori pulling me away when she did looks suspicious. I just hope there aren't anymore sets of keys out there.” Rick mused, he glanced over to Daryl to see the fear still present in his face. “I'll go check in with Glenn, see if he's seen anything” Rick said trying to smile at me. My words must have affected him too, he was trying to put on a brave face, more for Daryl than me I thought and he was hiding it better than Daryl was currently.

 

Rick turned to leave the room, glancing back over his shoulder, giving me another brief smile, then looked over to Daryl before walking out and closing the door quietly behind him. Now it was just Daryl and me.

 

 

Daryl was silent a while. He'd clench his fists, then pace a little, muttering to himself before he stopped and discreetly peered over at me before the process started again. As I let him collect his thoughts I took a seat on the couch, waiting for him to say what he needed to. I could see him processing what he wanted to say, or not say and it seemed safer to let him vent it out to himself if I were to explain what I'd just said.

 

His pacing and muttering went on for about ten minutes before he stopped, his shoulders sagged and his head dropped till his chin was resting on his chest and finally spoke up.

“You'd really leave? Thought ya were done leavin'?” Daryl said quietly but an angry tone to his questions.

“If someone is trying to murder me...”

He cut me off. “And if they ain't?” he swallowed nervously before he started pacing again.

“Then I ain't going nowhere. I don't want to leave Daryl, shit I only got you back...” I smiled to myself. “I needed to say it, so _if_ that was the case you'd both know why I'd be leaving.”

“Cos leavin' last time worked out so well” he hissed.

I sighed. I expected this reaction from him, so I didn't let it throw me off like it normally would. “ _That_ was a different situation. You don't think it’s a bit suspicious as to how that all played out downstairs?” I asked.

He continued to pace, looking down at his feet.

“It _looks_ suspicious, yes. But it’s not what I think happened. Did you see the body just outside the door? Well what was left of it?” I asked.

“Yeah...” he sighed heavily, stopping his pacing for a few seconds. “He must 'ave 'ad walkers on his ass an' got taken out 'fore he could get inside.”

“Do you think it was him who opened the door?” I asked.

He nodded. “Think so...Just...stop sayin' yer leavin'. Don't wanna wake up tomorrow an' find ya gone” he said before he walked out the door, closing it behind him.

 

I groaned out in frustration. Trust him to get the last word in. And to say something vaguely nice, I wanted to respond but he never gave me the chance to. I know mushy feelings and what not are not his thing. But is it so wrong for me to say how I feel to him. _Even if he blushes?_ And what better way to make sure I'm still there in the morning than to sleep next me? That thought still irked me from this morning.

 

 

While I was _resting_ in my room I'd overheard Lori and Rick having another argument in the main room. Well it was more Lori than Rick. Rick was trying to calm her down but she just seemed to work herself up more. I had to stop myself from laughing as I listened to new accusations. Saying I had set it up and my plan failed when too many of them showed up. She threw in a ' _it could have been you...or Carl.'_ Wow, so she was using Carl to make her points now. Carl had been upstairs with her at the time, granted the kid liked to wander on his own but he was with her at the time, not me.

Then she changed it completely and said I probably blamed it all on her, trying to get everyone to turn against her. Rick shut her down immediately when she said that, explaining that I had spoken out _against_ her being the cause of the walker mess below. The conversation turned a lot quieter after that before a few minutes passed and I heard a door being slammed. I assumed it was Lori, Rick was hardly that dramatic. I hoped for his sake, this was just because she was pregnant and the hormones would calm down once she gave birth, because frankly she was a fucking nightmare currently.

 

Well I was going to be avoiding dinner tonight. I didn't need another awkward meal time for the day, one was more than enough. And dinner was going to be no different.

 

 

I decided I'd go relieve whoever was on watch so they could eat dinner. I grabbed a zip-up hoody from my bag, slipping it on carefully, only wincing when I had to thread my arm into the sleeve.

Peeking out the door, I saw Lori and Carol in the kitchen, their backs to me, no one else was around. I just wanted to get out of there before anyone noticed and told me I should be resting. I'd rested enough. _Well about two hours’ worth but that was plenty._ I slipped from the room, tiptoeing to the stairs to the roof and made my way upstairs. As soon as I got to the stairs I let out the breath I had been holding. I felt like I was a kid again trying to sneak out without my parents catching me... _I guess this is what it feels like for Carl all the time,_ I smirked to myself.

 

Opening the door to the roof I looked over to see Glenn still on watch, the rifle clutched in his hands. Glenn looked over surprised to see it was me who had appeared.

“Shouldn't you be resting?” he said narrowing his eyes at me.

“You really gonna tell me that?” I said rolling my eyes at him.

He was silent for a minute before a look of guilt washed over his face and he ducked his head, “Sorry for earlier” Glenn mumbled.

“It's fine but you couldn't have waited till Hershel wasn't around. Felt like I was having to shield my dad from _those_ details” I chuckled.

Glenn grinned. “C'mon it was too funny not to. Especially when I saw how embarrassed it got you...So you gonna tell me now?” he asked, the grin still present.

“Tell you what?” I said coyly.

“Aw c'mon!” he whined.

“Fine It's not _stress relief_ as you so eloquently put it. And that's all I'm saying” I smiled.

“I knew it!” he said triumphantly.

“You're as bad as Rick, gossiping like two fishwives”

“I don't gossip” he said feigning shock.

“Total lie Mr Rhee and you know it. I bet by the end of the night you would have downloaded everything to Maggie” I said raising an eyebrow at him.

He shuffled awkwardly from one foot to the other. This was how I knew I was right. He was easy to read like that.

“Fine. But we've both been trying to figure it out for ages” he confessed.

“Seriously, that's how bad the worlds become that Daryl and I pass as gossip now?” I chuckle.

“Well ain't much else happening, other than the drama between Lori and Rick” he shrugged.

“Did you hear them yelling from up here?” I asked.

He nodded. “They aren't exactly subtle. I'm surprised it didn't attract any walkers.”

“Well it didn't last very long this time so we're safe for now.”

Glenn glanced over to me again, his eyes looking to my shoulder, even though it was covered by the hoody. “How's the shoulder?” he asked.

“Sore. But that's expected after using it as a battering ram. It's just a bruise, heal in no time...Gotta thank you for coming to the rescue too. Carol and I weren't going to be able to hold it for very long if you hadn't of come along.” I smiled.

“Hell, I'm just glad I did. Was a bit surprised to see Carol there...” he said giving me a knowing look.

I snorted. “You and me both. Wasn't sure if she was just gonna let me fail to keep the door closed or if she was there to help...but she helped. I guess that's a good thing, right?”

“Yeah but why was the door open in the first place?” he asked.

“I think...someone else was trying to get in. Before I managed to get the door somewhat closed I had seen a body, well what was left of one a few feet away on the ground. I think that's who the keys belonged to and they got...they didn't make it” I stuttered.

“Well I'm glad you're reasonably safe” he said smiling, his eyes once again going to my shoulder.

 

We talked for a bit, thankfully keeping off the subject of Daryl, which kind of surprised me. I had expected more questions from him but it seemed for now he was satisfied but I knew sooner or later he would ask again.

 

“How about you go down for dinner and I'll finish up your shift on watch?” I said, not really asking

“Avoiding another family dinner?” he quirked.

“Well they just seem to be more awkward when I'm there, you saw how it was this morning, and now after Lori had that argument this afternoon. I'll be safer up here I reckon” I sighed.

He thought for a minute before he let out a loud sigh. “They're all gonna tell me off for doing this” he muttered holding out the rifle to me.

“Thank you, Glenn. I owe you” I smiled taking the rifle from him.

“Damn right you do” he smiled before heading for the door.

 

I heard the door close and let out a breath. This felt far less stuffy than being cooped up in my room, _resting._ The surrounding neighbourhood looking relatively quiet. Rick and the others must have done a quick sweep around the building to make sure no more walkers were lurking near.

And once again those weren't the only threat again. This didn't feel like at the trailer park though. I didn't feel like I was being watched this time and I wasn't sure if that reassured me or not.

 

 

I was happy to be on watch. Happy to be away from the awkward dinner I was sure that was happening a floor below me. I'd rather freeze my ass off up here than endure whatever is happening down there. Maybe I'm wrong, maybe they're having a nice conversation. I snorted, I knew whether I'm there or not, it would still be awkward as fuck. _This is what I'm choosing to believe, denial, denial, denial..._

 

 

I heard the door to the roof open and looked back over my shoulder and was surprised to see Maggie walking towards me, a smile on her face and a plate in her hands.

“Thought I better bring ya some dinner, knew ya wouldn't come down ta get any” she said handing me a covered plate and taking a seat next to me, I passed her the rifle. This felt like all those months back when I was avoiding sitting with the family for dinner when Rick and I were at odds.

I ate while she took over for me and then handed me the rifle back when I had finished.

“Feels a bit like old times, doesn't it? You bringing me dinner when I'm hiding out” I chuckled.

“Yeah does a bit. At least this time it’s under better circumstances.”

“You reckon?” I said, not entirely convinced.

“Well...sort of. You just wanted to avoid a repeat of this morning...?” she said.

“Bang on the money.” I sighed heavily

“Long day?” Maggie said, then broke into a chuckle. It was a ridiculous question and she knew it.

I just rolled my eyes at her. “Like you wouldn't believe. But it almost seems like a normal day to be honest” I sighed.

“Yeah...when are ya not getting yourself into all kinds of trouble?” she smirked.

“It's a gift really” I snorted. “I know it’s too much to ask for just one day where shit goes my way for once. Just a day where nothing happens, no walkers, no people, no drama...”

“Think ya got a better chance of hell freezing over” she mused.

 

She sat with me for a while longer before I heard her shiver. Winter was almost here; the nights were getting much colder and she wasn't dressed as warmly as I was.

“Go on. Get back inside, sure someone will be taking over for me sooner enough. Frankly I'm surprised neither Daryl, Hershel or Rick have come up to tell me to rest up” I grinned.

“They did debate it at dinner” she said quietly.

I snorted. “Typical. Bet that went down great with Lori?”

“Oh yeah, she was not too pleased you were being bought up. She ended up huffing and puffing before going to her room and slamming the door. And then Glenn just burst out laughing, which made everyone look at him. It was quite funny. You would have enjoyed it” she smiled and shivered again. “Alright. Well I'll make sure someone is coming up to relieve you before bed.” she said taking the plate and heading back downstairs.

 

I walked the perimeter, darkness only letting me see so much into the distance. But at least there were no walkers present. And no humans too, so that was a bonus. I silently wondered if someone was missing the key-holder, if they had people that were missing them, depending on them? I tried to shake those thoughts off, I didn't need to get bogged down feeling guilty about someone I never knew, as cold as it sounds. I had my own people to worry about first.

 

 

A while later I heard the door to the roof open and saw Daryl walking over, for once wearing a shirt that had sleeves. I always thought he never owned any with sleeves. Since the day I met him he was almost always in sleeveless flannel, I smirked to myself. It always gave me the best view of his arms, I dropped my gaze, hoping that even in the darkness he wouldn't see me blushing.

“ 'm here to relieve ya” he said gruffly.

“Ya mean you're here to get me to go back downstairs and rest?” I smirked.

“Yup, so ya better get goin' woman” he said, his face like stone currently.

“It's just a bruise Daryl. I'm not fragile, I didn't break” I said looking back out to the neighbourhood, not quite ready to head back inside.

Daryl came to stand beside me, draping his arm over my shoulder, purposefully resting his arm on the fresh bruise. I winced ever so slightly under the weight and he smirked victoriously.

“It’s still just a bruise” I said through gritted teeth.

His arm dropped from my shoulder and placed it on my waist. He moved his body till he was standing behind me, his body pressed lightly against mine. He placed his other hand on my other hip and I could feel the warmth from his body starting to warm me up slowly.

I nearly jumped when I felt his breath against my ear. “When are ya gonna stop being so reckless?” he asked. His breath causing a shiver to roll down me, causing him to pull me tighter against him.

“It's a side-effect of being me...and if I'd run upstairs to get someone else, who knows how much worse it could have been...I just acted on instinct...Wasn't trying to be reckless...Sorry I scared you today” I sighed.

“Just glad yer' ok” he breathed.

 

He continued to stand behind me, his hands on my waist, I was reluctant to head back inside for different reasons now. I liked these simple moments, granted I hadn't had too many of them with Daryl but I'd take what I could get from him.

“You know you kind of surprised me today” I smiled.

“How?” he grunted.

“Didn't expect you to kiss me in front of everyone today...”

“Sometimes actions speak louder than words”

I turned around to face him. “Well said Mr Dixon”. I chuckled looking up at him, watching as his lips twitched at that term. “Really? _Mr Dixon_ gets a reaction outta you?”

He shrugged his shoulders, ducking his head, but I swear I saw a smirk there.

I felt another shiver run through me, this time from the chill in the air, Daryl looked up at me and raised an eyebrow at me, almost challenging me to defy him. I just shook my head at him, smiling.

“Alright I'm going in.” I sighed.

“Bout time” his gruff tone returning.

I titled my head and quickly planted a quick kiss on his cheek before slipping from his warm embrace and headed for the stairs, just as I reached the door I glanced back over my shoulder, he was watching me as I left, I smiled. I wanted to ask him to come to my room when his shift on watch ended but I held back. I wasn't sure if the kiss from earlier had thrown me off or if I was just being stubborn. But I didn't ask.

“Goodnight Mr Dixon” I smirked, pushing the other thought aside. I heard him quietly chuckle before lighting a smoke and turning back towards the neighbourhood.

 

 

Mostly everyone it seemed had turned in for the night. Carol was reading a book in one of the chairs, she kept her eyes focused on the book, not daring to look in my direction. Rick was sitting at the table cleaning his Python. He smiled as I walked over.

“Finally getting some rest huh?” he said in fatherly tone.

I rolled my eyes at him. “ _Yes dad_ ” I snorted, walking towards my room. I heard him chuckle before I closed the door and started to get ready for bed, much more slowly than I was usually. All I could hope for was a good night's sleep for a change.

 

 

The night hadn't given me much relief, having felt broken and uncomfortable. With my shoulder aching in many of the positions I usually slept in and then waking to nightmares twice. The one thing I was glad about was at least I wasn't screaming out in my sleep. Nobody knew how bad they were sometimes and the last thing I needed to be doing was yelling in my sleep drawing walkers’ attention, like I had months ago. And I didn't want the group to worry. I knew if it was bought up it would be another nail in my coffin from Lori and somehow, she would spin it badly in my favour.

And I stupidly thought the nightmares were starting to subside again but they decided they needed to rear their ugly heads again. I wouldn't blame it solely because I was sleeping alone but it never seemed to help. Maybe I had been stubborn earlier...but then again maybe it wouldn't have helped one bit. Sooner or later I would really **_need_** to deal with it and hopefully move on, because living in the fear I was trapped in currently was almost crippling at times.

 

 

I was surprised breakfast was reasonably normal for once. _Maybe it had to do with the fact that Lori was nowhere in sight._ I had no idea where she was and I wasn't about to seek her out either, so I happily ate my breakfast and got ready for the day.

 

After breakfast, I had come back into my room to see my hand-gun sitting on the desk. Carol must have returned it while I had been engaged at breakfast. I felt a little safer knowing she didn't have it anymore. _Not that it would be hard for her to get her hands on another weapon. Maybe it was more to do with the fact that it was **my** weapon._ I checked to make sure she hadn't tampered with it and when I was satisfied, I strapped it to my thigh.

I sighed looking over to my bow, I'd hardly used it since I'd had it back. I was either injured, hadn't had it in my possession or the situation wasn't right for it. I silently vowed to myself as soon as I was able I was going hunting with it, get some practise in. And if I managed to kill a few walkers while out hunting I wouldn't turn my nose up at that.

 

 

Daryl, Glenn, Carol, Lori and Beth were going across the road to check out what supplies they could find. Hershel and T-dog were on watch, having decided over breakfast we needed to be extra careful for the next few days, just in case someone else wanted in the fire-station.

And that left Rick, Carl and I, Lori looking _extremely_ pleased about that. But she said nothing for once. But I did see the look she gave Carol who then flashed a quick look to Daryl before looking away again. I didn't want to think about what new plan they had cooked up now.

 

Rick and I were going to do some general maintenance on the vehicles. We had to be ready to go in a moment’s notice, so making sure they were working good now would cause fewer problems down the line. _Well that's the theory anyway._ And Carl was hopefully going to learn something, he didn't seem all that enthused by the idea as it was nowhere near as cool as weapon training. Rick had given him the _its valuable_ speech, which I saw him roll his eyes at, making me chuckle to myself.

 

 

All three of us watched as the small group left the safety of the fire-station and ventured out on to the street. Daryl signalled back to us that it was clear and they were going to keep moving on towards the houses. I took a deep breath and tore my eyes away from him, turning back towards the cluster of vehicles parked in the garage.

 

As Carl was busy looking through one of the tool chests, I thought I might come clean about listening to the conversation I'd overheard yesterday. It wasn't that I felt completely guilty about listening in, I think it was more to say thank you without really saying the words. He was right, _damnit all_ , but I was keeping that bit of information to myself. _No need to make him smugger than he already is_ , I thought to myself.

“I heard you yesterday...talking to Daryl...you can't help yourself, can you?” I snorted, as I waited for Rick to pop the hood for me.

“How much did you hear?” he asked as he emerged from the vehicle.

“Enough” I answered.

“Well someone had to give you both a push” he smiled.

“I'll say it again, ya can't help yourself...” I said ducking my head and planting my eyes on the engine.

“Someone deserves some happiness round here these days. Both of ya deserve it. Both been through a lot, you're better together than apart. I knew what he has with Carol is friendship, nothing more. But you...” he smiles at me, “You know he always looks for you when he walks into a room, a twitch of his lips when he does. And then yesterday...well that says it all I think...” he grinned.

I was about to ask him what else he notices when the sound of gunshots ringing through the air made us both freeze.

 

**_Bang!_ **

**_Bang! Bang!_ **

 

We both heard the shots, three distinct gunshots, one single shot, then two more one after the other. Rick was freaking out because Lori, Daryl, Glenn, Carol and Beth were a few houses down checking out a store for supplies. I felt a little paralysed with fear for a few seconds, I was freaking out a little, I was just less vocal about it. We both knew they wouldn't have used their guns unless there was no other way.

 

“Carl go to the roof now!” Rick ordered.

“But dad” Carl whined.

“Carl just do it! Now!” he pleaded. Rick's eyes looking towards the street.

Carl stood there not moving, his eyes looking to his father and I could see the fear in his eyes. He knew his mother was out there. This probably felt like at the farm when he and Rick was separated from her.

“Carl” I said calmly, “Go to the roof. We need to know you're safe. We're gonna go get your Mom and everyone else but you need to stay up there until we know it’s safe” I said pulling him towards the door. As we reached the door I yanked it open, stepping through, guiding Carl with me till we reached the stairs. I stopped and waited for him to ascend. He waited a few seconds before going upstairs, looking back over his shoulder at me, I nodded at him, giving him some sort of reassurance. He disappeared at the top of the stairs and I ran back to the garage to see Rick standing at the garage doors looking out to the street.

 

“He's upstairs. He's safe” I breathed. Rick glanced over to me and nodded once before looking back out to the street.

As I peeked out through the windows in the garage doors, there weren't any walkers on the street, no cars, no humans. What ever had happened had been quick. _Maybe they were surprised and shot a walker? But why take it out with a gun, they knew not to use the gun unless it was necessary. And the necessary part was what had us worried._ In my head, I was thinking something had to have happened, but I never said this to Rick, he was freaking out enough as it was, for now I was keeping my worries to myself.

 

“Think we should go check? Just to make sure?” I ask Rick, who hasn't taken his eyes away from the window.

“They know not to use guns” he muttered to himself. He wasn't listening to me, he was too much in his own head right now. I was on the verge of taking control of the situation, at least until we knew what we were dealing with.

“What if...what if she's hurt...or its the baby?” he asked himself.

“C'mon Rick, get a hold of yourself. You and I will go check this out now, alright?” I said grabbing his arm and his attention.

He turned to me, slight panic in his eyes. Before he shook it off and regained composure of himself. I could see the switch being flicked inside him and I knew he'd be able to take the lead.

 

Stepping outside, all seemed quiet. Both of us had our weapons drawn. As we made it to the road, as if on cue three walkers came from the neighbouring yard, seemingly to have been initially attracted by the gunshots and now distracted by Rick and me.

 

“Fucking hell, can't we have one damn day where absolutely nothing happens?” I growled more to myself. I raised my gun to shot, only to realise the silencer wasn't on, and it seemed Rick had the same problem as me. We both gave each other a look, knowing we'd have to take them down by other means.

Rick unsheathed his machete and I only had the six-inch blade that I carried around in my boot. I holstered my gun and quickly reached for the knife. Rick already had the blade of his machete embedded in the skull of the first walker. The other two remaining walkers were coming straight for me. As the first one approached me, I gritted my teeth and taking a few steps I shoulder barged into it, forcing it back into the other walker. I winced loudly, unable to hide the pain. Clutching my knife, I drove the blade through the eye socket of the walker and then pulling it free with the horrible squelching noise I detested so much. I pulled the knife back fully intending to take a swing at the last walker, only to see Rick impale the blade through the skull of the walker. As he pulled the blade free it landed on top of the other dead walker. Both of us wiped our blades clean on the dead walkers and then doing a quick survey of the street, making sure there weren't any more stragglers coming out from anywhere. It was clear for now. I slipped the blade back into my boot and grabbed my gun again, flicking the safety off.

 

“You ok?” he asked.

“Yeah, I'm good...” I lied, “C'mon let's go” I said, knowing we had more important things to worry about, other than the state of my injured shoulder.

 

 

Both of us moved quickly to the first house we'd seen them disappear into. We stood at the doorway and listened. It was eerily quiet and I hoped that just meant they weren't in this house. Rick stormed in first, me trailing behind him as we quickly swept the house, going from room to room and coming up empty. It looked as though they had been there and cleaned out the supplies they needed and moved on.

 

We ran to the next house, coming up the steps and onto the porch. The windows were boarded up, giving us no indication of what or who was inside. Rick stretched his hand out towards the handle, before pausing as he heard movement from inside.

“Lori?” he whispered harshly. More movement inside. Rick looked to me and I nodded. We needed to see what the hell was going on. I gripped the gun a little tighter, my shoulder burning slightly. Rick reached for the door handle and counted silently, on three he pushed the door open, the scene now unfolding in front of us.

 

As we entered Rick and I took in the situation. Carol, Beth and Lori stood in the room, all quite close together, except Lori who was standing ahead of the other two, all three looked to be frozen with fear. And at their feet, was a man lying down on the ground, someone who wasn't from our group. _Was he another key_ -holder? A puddle of blood starting to get bigger beneath the man and spreading outwards. A bloody wound in the centre of his chest and another, right between his eyes, a small trickle of blood dripping down his face. A gun a few feet away from his body, his hand seeming to stretch out towards it. His eyes showing the shocked expression, almost mirroring both mine and Rick's expression to the situation.

 

And there Lori was, gun still pointed at the now dead man lying a few feet away from her. The shock still evident on her face, as her hand shook slightly holding the gun. _Guess I ain't the only killer,_ I thought to myself a little smugly. _She is gonna lose her shit over this. Now she's no better than me._

 

I looked around the room, noticing something else that was off, something I should have realised sooner, if it weren't for the shock I too was experiencing. “Wait...where's Daryl? And Glenn?” I asked a little panicked looking around only just realising both of whom were missing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know another cliffhanger...I'm sorry...kinda....  
> Was Daryl cute enough this chapter? Without over-doing it? I think the kiss in front of everyone was a bold statement, especially coming from him. He would forget for a second everyone was there, only to have someone clear their throat bringing him back to reality, Camille as well. Way to ruin the kiss whoever cleared their throat! ;o)  
> And so this starts knocking Lori off her high horse. Think its kinda fitting, although I'm more than sure she'd going to spin this so she somehow is the hero and not the zero in this situation. Damn she frustrates me...only got myself to blame there...  
> And what's happened to Daryl and Glenn?  
> Next chapter you shouldn't have to wait as long, promise!


	43. Comfortably Numb

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I promised this chapter would be up sooner. Life had kinda gone a bit crazy and stressful lately. Long story short, my weekends are now filled with looking after my 2yo nephew. So free time has been a bit short. But things seem to be on track now, so getting back to normal. Hopefully this long, long chapter will make up for my absence. And get some answers on where the hell Daryl is.  
> Gotta say thanks to a few people this chapter. Had some lovely reviews for the last chapter and some people who just found the story and reviewed a bunch. So gotta say with the shit month I've had all those comments made me smile a bunch. So thank you to a few people....to ArchLucie for a little bit of inspiration with the convo about working in the fire-station with Rick ;) nicki1954 for your bunch of comments after re-reading, Starry_Night(note at end of chapter), JTLETSGETIT and BreenaBelle-xoxo for reading the entire story over the last few weeks or so and leaving a bunch of reviews, UndeadMama always been my motivator ;), and everyone else who left reviews, honestly guys they mean the world to me and definitely cheered me up this month xxxx  
> So I hope y'all like this chapter...so enjoy!!

I looked past Lori, and now saw the state of Beth and Carol. I had been so focused on Lori holding the gun, I had failed to see the other woman, other than them being there. I now noticed Beth's eyes were red rimmed and puffy from crying, and she had a split lip. She held onto herself, still protecting herself. And Carol I had just seen the bruise starting to appear on her cheek, both her and Beth huddled together. _What the hell had gone on? Other than Lori playing assassin..._

 

Bringing my focus back to Lori, I ignored the smug feeling in the back of my mind and refocussed my thoughts towards the guys. _The missing guys._ That thought making me shudder on the inside. “Where are they?” I asked again, more panicked. Carol shakily raised her hand, pointing to the open doorway on the far side of the room.

I went to move, but Rick held me back, pulling on my injured side. I turned angrily around to him, pissed off he was stopping me from going to find them and a little at which arm he'd pulled on, purposefully or not, it still hurt. I knew in the back of my mind he was right to stop me but the fear that was starting to wash over me wasn't helping anything presently.

“Lori!...” he said a little harshly, getting her attention, “Lori, was there anyone else?” he asked softer this time. She shook her head. Rick let my arm go as I started to move back towards the other side of the room, through a darkened hallway. “What happened?” Rick asked to the other women.

“He...tried to take Beth...drew a gun...Glenn...he tried...I think” she babbled, not making much sense. Rick had gone over to her and I could hear her crying, looking over my shoulder I could see Rick attempting to comfort his wife, trying to get her to make some sense as well. It looked rather awkward, he wasn't hugging her, more awkwardly rubbing her shoulder. Certainly, didn't look like the _happy_ couple they once were.

 

I had just made it to the hallway when I froze hearing a groan coming from down the hall, a figure staggering towards us, no light illuminating it giving us no indication who it was coming towards us, or if it was a walker. I was afraid it would be the latter and would be either Daryl or Glenn, just _not_ Daryl or Glenn, I shuddered at the thought. I held my gun up, just in case, feeling myself swallow nervously. I took a step forward, Rick immediately moving with me, his gun drawn too.

As the figure moved further down the corridor towards us, their profile coming into view, I saw it was a pale looking Glenn. He clutched his side in pain, a trail of blood coming from his arm, just beyond his sleeve and his hand reaching out to us, was covered in blood. I wasn't one to be squeamish around blood, it was more the fear of what could have happened. Was it just an injury or worse?

“Glenn...” I said shakily.

“Help...” he breathed out in almost a whisper, before he collapsed towards the ground. Rick and I rushing forward, bending down next to him as we quickly assessed his injuries.

I gingerly pulled up his shirt sleeve to see the wound in question, the bullet grazing his skin, the blood having stopped flowing from the wound but still very angry looking. His hair looked greasy from where I was sitting and as I reached out to touch it, it was sticky and warm, blood now coating my fingertips.

“Head wound” I said to Rick, who rolled Glenn's head to the side seeing a decent sized gash on the top of his head. It looked as though someone had hit him hard over the head, knocking him in and out of consciousness. Glenn opened his eyes again as Rick inspected the wound on his head, groaning in pain.

“Glenn” I said trying to get his attention. “Where's Daryl?” I asked.

“He was checking outside” Beth said from behind me, her shakiness wearing off faster than the other two. I turned back round to face her.

“How long was he gone?” I asked.

“Five...maybe...ten minutes t-tops” she stuttered. “He was...goin' to check the perimeter.”

Glenn continued the explanation from beside me. “Was checking the back room...heard someone behind me...thought it was...then woke up...I heard...yelling...he was trying to take Beth...then gunshots” Glenn explained, the blow to the head causing him to drop in and out of consciousness. We'd gotten the bulk of the story. Now we just needed to find Daryl and I couldn't wait any longer, I stood to leave, thinking to head for the back first, then work out where to go from there.

“Camille!” Rick growled. “Camille!”

I could hear Rick behind me, trying to get me to wait for him but I was flat out ignoring him. I wasn't wasting anymore time, Glenn was alive, wounded but ok, the others could look after him. I knew once Rick got the women to look after Glenn he would come after me. Daryl's voice was in my head telling me I was reckless but I just pushed those thoughts aside tunnel vision kicking in.

 

Passing each of the rooms, I made sure to quickly glance round, as I made my way going down the hallway, making sure no one else was hiding away somewhere. It wasn't that I didn't believe the women when they said there was no one else but I had to be sure. I didn't need to be jumped as well, two men down already, we couldn't afford for someone else to get surprised. Rick wasn't exactly happy I'd just taken off like I did, so checking the rooms on my way to find Daryl was something probably more to appease him than myself, no matter the importance of ' _being aware of your surroundings'. Daryl's right I am god damn reckless. Oh well woman on a mission..._

 

A thick plank of wood was dropped outside one of the rooms, blood splattered over one end of it, making me blanch slightly. _Nope its walker blood, nothing else, maybe a little of Glenn's, but it wasn't anyone else's,_ I said trying to convince myself otherwise. Glenn must have been checking out this last room when he got jumped, a few things lay scattered on the floor, paper and a few books, nothing that would alert the others initially. I wonder if it would have made any difference to the situation if some furniture had been knocked over instead. I still suspect the stranger would be dead, if not by Lori's hand, then someone else's.

 

I stepped over the plank of wood, trying to fix my eyes ahead. So far, the women had been right and there had been no one else hiding in the shadows, which still didn't dispel the sense of dread I was feeling. But this didn't stop me from keeping on track and hurrying as fast as I could out the door.

 

Stepping outside, all I felt was an eerie silence to the yard and no sign of Daryl. The dread inside me starting to multiply. I frantically scanned the yard looking for signs of Daryl. When I couldn't see him, my next move was towards the side of house, otherwise I'd have to start looking in the other yards surrounding the house, and with the stillness out here currently I felt more on edge. I had a feeling it was about to get worse before it was going to start to get better. _Just prove me wrong, please._

 

I had just rounded the side of the house when I stopped dead in my tracks. My breath hitched in my throat and my body froze looking at the scene being played out in front of me. Daryl was lying on the ground, seemingly out of it. _I'm guessing that plank of wood was used on him as well,_ I blanched once again at that thought. His crossbow was lying a good ten feet away from him. _How it got that far I wasn't sure. Maybe his assailant disarmed him? Which sounds wrong even as I think it. He had to be surprised._ Even from across the yard, some twenty feet away I could see the blood marring his skin and clothes. But that wasn't the most disturbing thing, besides the fact that he still hasn't moved. The handle of _his_ knife protruding from his side, the same side he was pierced with his own arrow. _Why did he have a habit of getting impaled on his own weapons? But I have a feeling this was not of his own volition this time._

 

I could feel my insides wanting to churn up inside me. I was afraid if I stepped over there and checked for a pulse I wouldn't find one and what's worse to find dead eyes staring back up at me. I wasn't ready to lose him, not yet, not when we haven't figured out whatever the hell we were. _God, you sound like a fucking girl right now!_

 

I was bought back to reality when I saw a walker appear at the edge of the property heading straight for Daryl. My brain finally kicked in and I pushed all the emotions far, far down. I needed to check on Daryl, whether he's alive or...dead, I swallowed thickly. Taking a few steps forward the walker had yet to notice me. “Fine let's fucking dance” I muttered to myself.

“Hey! Shithead!” I growled angrily at the walker to get its attention.

“Merle...?” I heard Daryl barely whisper. _Fuck, he's alive! Damn he must be really out of it to call on Merle. One problem at a time. Kill the walker first._

Walking forward I reached down to my boot grabbing the knife, ignoring my gun for now, trying to attract as little attention as I possibly could. The walker still had eyes for Daryl at this stage, a bleeding wounded animal just lying on the ground ready for the taking, well I'm guessing that's what the walker would have been thinking if it's brain actually worked.

As it started to bend down, it seemed to notice me within its vision and stood straight again, stepping over Daryl and towards me, gnashing its teeth at me, groaning for its next meal. I was glad it was taking the bait and leaving the easier of the two alone.

And with all the anger pent up I easily took the walker down, quickly stabbing it through the skull and dropping the dead prick to the ground like a sack of potatoes. I stepped over the body and ran to Daryl, kneeling beside him. He was muttering incoherently, not making any sense whatsoever and barely conscious.

 

I could see his injuries more clearly now I was kneeling in front of him, his face had a few cuts and was starting to swell a little in some places, he had two decent gashes on his forehead and retreating into his hairline. I was sure there would be more bruises forming under his shirt. And then there was the knife sticking out of his side. I was hesitant to remove it, thinking for now it would be plugging up the wound and if I were to remove it, I could do more damage. We needed to get him and Glenn back to Hershel now. This should be a piece of cake to fix compared to the bullet wound he fixed on Carl. I wasn't sure about the truth to that statement, it was more me trying to keep myself calm. And I was going to need help shifting him.

I checked his pulse and then his forehead for any signs of the fever. His pulse was rapid but his breathing sounded fine. And no signs of a fever starting, so that was a positive on this very shit situation.

“Don't you fucking die on me Dixon” I mumbled to him. _Who knows if he can hear me._

“Rick!” I yelled back towards the house.

“C'mon Dixon stay with me” I said trying to keep my voice steady.

“Rick!” I yelled again, over my shoulder.

“Ya left...” Daryl grumbled below me. I wasn't sure if he was talking to me or it had to do with the bump on the head. Either way I wasn't taking note of it, even if it was directed at me. He can yell and be mad at me when we're back in the fire-station safely. First, we had to get there. _And damnit where the hell was Rick?_

 

Turning back to face Daryl I could see I had attracted the attention I was trying to avoid. And with the number of walkers I could see coming towards me in several different directions I was going to have to make more noise to save us both, which was a double-edged sword and quite possibly a death sentence if help didn't arrive.

 

I stood quickly taking my gun from my holster and started taking out the walkers closest to us, dropping them to the ground around us. Every time I turned in a new direction another walker was making its way towards me and more seemed to be appearing.

 

And just when things were starting to get worse, more shit piled on. The tell-tale click of an empty clip signalled I was out of bullets. I didn't have another clip with me, my only choice was my knife. And there were too many walkers between me and Daryl's crossbow, so that option was also out of the question. Using the barrel of the gun I managed to smack the walker in the jaw just hard enough to make it stumble slightly in its stepping, allowing me enough time to stab the walker, dropping it at my feet. Unfortunately for me this walker appeared to have a thicker skull than most, the blade getting stuck. Glancing up I could see walkers starting to close in around us. Giving several sharp tugs on the handle I was unable to pull it free, and much to my chagrin I abandoned it and backed up to Daryl. The only weapon within sight was Daryl's knife, the one currently binding his wound. _Murphy's fucking law. Pull the knife out, possibly kill some walkers and Daryl. Leave the knife in Daryl and I die anyway._ I didn't like either option and as much as I didn't want to risk Daryl's life by doing nothing, against all better judgement I pulled the knife as carefully from his side as I could, holding my breath as I did so. Daryl grumbled, crying out in pain and clutching his side. He muttered curses to himself and probably me but only seemed barely conscious at this point. Blood seeped from his wound, soaking his shirt a little. To me this looked like a good sign, as long as it wasn't gushing out of the wound, it meant things were hopefully looking up. _As good as it can get at the end of the world and slowly getting surrounded by walkers._

 

I looked to my right to see two walkers coming right at me, only ten feet away and another coming from my left. To take out all three without them catching me off guard or getting a lucky lunge in, was looking about 50/50. I had confidence in my abilities but I also had to think about protecting Daryl as well. And then as soon as I would be done with them, more were on the way. It felt like one of those unending levels, that the only way the game stops, is when you die. And I sure as fuck didn't want it to get to that, but it was slowly starting to feel that way.

Using Daryl's knife, I took out a walker coming in from my left. Thankfully this time the knife retracting fine from the skull. I silently wondered if he'd be pissed if I left his knife behind, if it too got stuck in a walker like mine did.

 

I raised the knife in the air ready to swing again at the next walker when shots rang through the air, dropping the walkers closing in on Daryl and me. I looked up seeing Rick and Lori by the back door shooting the walkers getting close to us and themselves. I tried shaking Daryl awake again with no luck, he was out cold and there was no way I would be able to drag him back to the house on my own.

 

Rick and Lori quickly made their way over to us, taking out enough walkers and clearing the yard momentarily. I was sure more walkers would be closing in on our position, so we couldn't afford to sit around out here any longer.

“We gotta get him to Hershel” I said kneeling next to him and pressing hard on his wound. This time he made no movement, which worried me.

“What happened to him?” Lori asked.

“Don't know. Don't have time to ask. We need to go now” I said, my voice becoming strained.

“Let's get him and go” Rick ordered.

 

As I went to grab his arm, so I could help carry him to the house I saw his crossbow laying not too far. I ran over to it and quickly shouldered it. And then making my way back over to Daryl. Rick's lips twitching as he met my eyes, knowing he was probably thinking the same thing as I was. _Hopefully I wouldn't get some lecture about touching his precious crossbow again, although I could see the look on his face and the lecture I would receive if I left the thing behind. I'd be sleeping alone if that were the case._

 

 

Now standing inside the house, we were trying to weigh up our options for an escape plan. The shots had also drawn in more walkers to the back yard, although blocked off by the fence, separating the street and the yard. But it wouldn't hold if more showed up soon enough. And now our clear path back to the fire-station was effectively blocked. There were too many walkers on the street and not enough bullets. I didn't trust the few of us there were to take them out hand-to-hand with any more injuries or worse. And by the look in Rick's eye he had assessed the situation and agreed with me, giving me a quick shake of his head. Plus, four of us were helping carry both Glenn and Daryl back. Glenn was in and out of it still, he was slowly becoming more conscious but still unable to stand or walk by himself. And Daryl hadn't woken up since the backyard. His wound on his side was still bleeding, it had slowed but not stopped yet. He was also sporting some red angry marks across his face and I had a feeling his upper body had a few more. We really wouldn't know the full damage till we got Hershel to look at him. But first we had to manoeuvre through the horde of walkers outside.

 

“We ain't getting' back to the fire-station with all them outside” Rick grumbled placing the curtain back over the window.

“What d'ya reckon? Bit of cat and mouse?” I suggested looking back over to the injured men.

“Distract them how?” Rick asked wearily.

“I could...”

Rick cut me off. “No” he said sternly. “I know what you're thinking and it ain't gonna happen. Ain't gonna have you risking your life on a suicide mission. There's gotta be another way...Besides, I send ya out there, Daryl would kick my ass for putting you in that position” he smirked.

“Ok maybe my plan was obvious. But sitting around here isn't going to do us any good. We need to get Daryl to Hershel, Glenn too” I added as an afterthought.

Rick rested his hand on my shoulder, the uninjured one this time and leaned in close to me. “I know. Just gotta be smart about this. He'll be fine. Both of them will be.” Lori cleared her throat from behind us, Rick gave my shoulder a squeeze, holding his hand on my shoulder for a few seconds longer, not instantly dropping his hand like she expected he would. It was a small _fuck you_ to Lori and the smugness returned.

 

Beth had already got a shirt ready to help bind Daryl's wound and I watched as Carol tied it round his waist and tightening it. Daryl's face showing some signs of discomfort and sucking in what sounded like a painful breath. I couldn't help but grimace myself, looking at Daryl now.

 

 

We'd been sitting in the house for about fifteen minutes, constantly checking the two entrances, making nothing was getting in. Unfortunately, the blood from Daryl had created a trail to the back door so there were walkers starting to bang against the door.  Five or six for the moment but the more noise they made, the more it would draw in others.

 

The noise had attracted a few on the street and some surrounding houses as well, they were scattered for now but were being drawn in by the agitated walkers, moving closer to the house. I wasn't sure how we were going to get out of this without putting ourselves in serious danger. I doubt we could carry both Glenn and Daryl and fight off the growing walker herd between us and the fire-station. I wasn't even up for that plan. And that's saying something, since before I was ready to offer myself up as bait but now I was afraid. _Fuck._

 

 

A car horn blaring outside all caught our attention and the ones who were conscious enough to scramble to the windows did. We could clearly see T-dog in the Prius outside honking the horn, attracting the walkers to him instead. I knew what he was doing, hell I had already done this about a week prior at the farm house we were staying at. And I grinned. _Glad someone was fucking paying attention. And he better come back after, and when he does, the whiskey is his. He can have the entire bottle...We would be able to save Daryl,_ I grinned to myself.

 

We all looked at each other, giving each other a look of _'Get your shit together and get the hell out of here'_. Everyone moved silently, Rick moving to the dead man, swiping the discarded weapon and tucking it into the back of his jeans. I immediately went to Daryl, I had his crossbow still slung over my shoulder.

“Damnit Daryl just hold on” I whispered too low for anyone to hear. I was genuinely scared currently. Since he'd passed out on the grass outside before I'd got to him, he had yet to wake again. I was guessing it had to do with the blow to the head he also received and the blood loss from the wound in his side.

 

It was decided that Rick would be out in front taking care of any straggling walkers that came our way, Rick making the suggestion, which I completely agreed with. The women would be carrying the two injured men back. Glenn just needed someone to make sure he stayed upright and guide him in the right direction, he had gotten more alert in the last fifteen minutes. Daryl was going to be the difficult one. He's a solid guy and then add to the mix that he's unconscious. There would be no help from him and I hoped he'd stay that way till we got him back. I'd hate for him to wake on the walk back, once the pain registered, the loss of blood and probably some panic as well, we'd most likely drop him. And we didn't have time to be constantly picking up Daryl to get him back. _In a twisted way, it kinda reminded me of when I was carrying the doe back to the trailer park and walkers kept popping out and I had to drop the doe, kill the walker then get the damn things back up on my shoulders._

 

 

Carol came to stand on the other side of Daryl and right now I couldn't care less who came to help me drag Daryl back to the fire-station, as long as I had help. I'm sure a voice in my head would later make me analyse whether Carol was just trying to get her hands on Daryl in that moment, any excuse to be near him. But right now I didn't give a shit about that, all I cared about was getting Daryl back, and to Hershel.

 

We managed to wrangle Daryl into a sitting position as we prepared to hoist him up. Rick was crouched behind him, ready to help us get him upright before he would take his place at the head of the pack.

With some attractive groaning from all three of us we managed to get him upright. Daryl sucking in a breath and his wounded side made contact with my side. His eyes still closed. Me on his wounded side and Carol on the other. His limp arms slung around each of our shoulders. His arm weighing heavily on my bruised shoulder. I just knew I was going to be gritting my teeth the entire way back. I hadn't even thought about my shoulder until his arm rested on the bruise. And since we had him hoisted it was too late to swap over. _Suck it up buttercup,_ I thought grumpily to myself.

“You got him?” Rick asked. We both nodded and he stepped away, pausing for a few seconds, making sure we had a hold of him before he stepped around us and towards the front door.

 

We waited as Rick peered out the window. The walkers seemed to following after T-dog, leading almost all of them away. _There were always a few who weren't sheep unfortunately. Oh well, like lambs to the slaughter..._

 

Rick stepped out first, taking out a walker who hadn't left the front yard yet to go after the car. The opening door catching its attention and it turned back towards us. Carol and I were next with Daryl, then Lori and Beth with Glenn, either of them were to watch our backs since we couldn't drop Daryl.

 

Rick was quick and efficient taking out the walkers that had lagged behind. And I could hear Lori behind us shoot two walkers. Using the gun now wasn't going to improve our situation currently but we didn't have much choice, both her and Beth weren't much good for hand-to-hand combat against the walkers. And luckily, we didn't have far to go. All we could do would be to hope that the shots hadn't attracted more walkers to our position. It was going to make watch more of a challenge for the rest of the day and probably tonight. If we are lucky they'd wander off by morning. _And we could do with some good-luck today._

 

Reaching the front of the fire-station, Hershel and Carl were waiting at the garage doors, opening them when we were close enough. We quickly shuffled inside, Rick helping close the doors with Carl and Hershel, while the rest of us led the injured upstairs.

 

Glenn got as far as the lounge area and sat down on one of the couches, Maggie starting to fuss over him. He was looking a lot more coherent now, only complaining about the pain and I heard him mumble that he swears he's ok to her, trying to reassure her.

Carol and I managed to quite literally drag Daryl's body over to his bed Hershel following close behind. Daryl starting to mumble incoherently again, nothing making sense, it honestly sounded like gibberish. _I guess a blow to the head will do that to you._ I felt some pressure alleviate as soon as the dead weight of his arm was lifted from my shoulder. The pain was worth it, even if it stiffened up the muscles for a day or two.

 

“Has he woken up at all since you found him?” Hershel asked, as Carol and I stepped away giving him some room to work in.

“Barely. Few words, not much else...I tried to keep the knife in there...but needed it...lost mine...” now I was starting to babble.

“You're gonna have to give me the room, send Maggie in here too” he said giving me his best doctor's look saying he would do the best he could for him.

I understood why he wanted us out, probably me more specifically, but my feet weren't willing to move.

“C'mon Camille. Let him work” I heard Carol say beside before she pulled me from the room. Maggie rushed past me, trying to give me a reassuring smile as she passed. I heard the door close and I took a deep breath. Now it was the waiting game.

 

 

I was sitting on a seat Rick had bought me to sit on, tapping my foot impatiently because as he'd said ' _he couldn't watch me pace all fucking day'._ I'd humoured him by sitting down, but that wasn't helping my nervous energy that seemed to be radiating from me, and seemingly effecting some of the others too. And so I just watched the door, waiting for Hershel or Maggie to appear. Rick had disappeared up to the roof about ten minutes ago, muttering to himself. He was as bad as me trying to sit around and wait for some news, any news. What I really wanted to do was walk into the room and see what the hell was going on. But I knew having me there would only serve as a distraction for Hershel. And he'd just send me straight back outside.

Looking down at my hands I still had Daryl's dried blood staining my hands, some of Glenn's too, some was smeared on my shirt as well. But I didn't care what I looked like, I'd wash up as soon as I got some news on Daryl. Until then I was watching the door like a hawk.

 

 

The door opened and my head snapped up, seeing Hershel emerge as he wiped his hands on a clean towel. Maggie following after him.

“He's gonna be fine” Hershel said smiling looking towards me, “Woke up for a few minutes before he drifted off again. His side and head are stitched up, a lot of bruising to his upper body and a definite concussion. He's gonna be sore a couple of weeks, so he'll have to take it easy, not that he'll listen to any of us...Maybe Camille...you should...”

“Oh no...he won't listen to me” I snorted.

“Well either way he's going to have to take it easy” Hershel sighed.

“Can we go see him?” Carol asked.

“Yeah, he's asleep so only one or two of you at a time” he ordered, his eyes flicking to me and giving me a slight nod and a smile.

 

I could feel the relief washing through me. _He was gonna be ok. I didn't make it worse. He's gonna live._ I'd been so worried that by pulling the knife out I'd done more harm than good, that I didn't really think about the possibility of a good outcome. My mind had been so focused on the bad.

“Camille, do you wanna...?” Maggie asked.

I swallowed nervously and shook my head. “I should...I...need to clean myself up” I said before quickly making an exit towards the locker rooms. I just needed a few minutes to get my shit together. I had no idea why suddenly I had sudden anxiety to see him.

I sat down on the bench and buried my head in my hands, my emotions starting to run high. _See, this is where emotions were a shit thing. I knew I cared for him, how much I wasn't ready to work out in my own head yet. Feelings...that's as far as I had gotten. Feelings. But now because of these 'feelings' they were starting complicating shit. It's funny how all it takes is him to be almost on death's doorstep for me to work this shit out. Yeah, fucking hilarious. I didn't care that we weren't some hopelessly in love couple like Glenn and Maggie. I liked whatever we were...are. All I knew was that I couldn't lose him, and whatever feelings are there, I'd try deal with them later. Although sure my head isn't going to let that happen..._

 

 

Someone knocking on the door, quickly bought me back to reality and I hastily wiped the few stray tears that were rolling down my cheeks. I glanced over my shoulder to surprisingly see Beth standing there holding a bucket of water and a few clean rags, smiling brightly as she always did.

“Thought ya might need a hand washing up” she smiled setting the bucket down next to my feet and wet one of the smaller towels and started wiping my face. I noticed the tinge if red staining the cloth. _Must have absent-mindedly rubbed my hand over my face. No wonder some of them were giving me strange looks. Just another Carrie moment. Gotta stop having those._

 

“He's gonna be fine ya know” Beth said reassuringly.

“Yeah” I breathed, not really feeling like I wanted to make conversation. Beth seemed to get this and continued to wash the blood from my neck and arms.

I watched her hands as she cleared the blood away from my skin. Glancing up to her face I now noticed her lips had been cleaned and a small red mark on her cheek starting to show. Breaking the silence, I decided to ask what had happened across the road.

“Are _you_ alright?” I asked.

She glanced up at me, her lips twitching and she nodded.

“Did he hurt you?” I asked.

Her face fell slightly. “He tried to take me. And when I wouldn't go, he smacked me across the jaw with his gun” she said as she reached up to lightly touch her lip, before dropping her hand. “Then Carol stepped in, he hit her too. Then...Lori shot him. It all happened so fast, I was so scared...If Lori hadn't of...” her voice slightly shaking.

I grabbed one of her hands and gave it slight squeeze. “She did it to protect you” I said, only half believing what I was saying, it was more for Beth's peace of mind. I still had a few other thoughts on the matter.

“Do you think...you could teach me some moves to help protect myself...like how you're teaching Carl?” she asked.

I smiled and nodded. “Yeah might be a few days before I'm good to go though” I said pointing to my shoulder. She smiled and her eyes darted to my injured shoulder.

“Did you hurt it again today?” she asked sounding very much like her father in that moment.

“Probably just over-worked it today, just needs a little rest” I lied. I knew I had at the very least strained it further. The adrenaline from earlier had masked any pain I had felt for most of the time during the search and rescue mission, the one time I truly felt it was when I helped carry Daryl back.

 

Beth finished up, dropping the now dirty rags into the bucket, she stopped in the doorway before she left.

“You should go see him, even just to sit with him for a while. He wouldn't ever say it but he'd like it if you were there” she said before turning and leaving the locker room. Now I was left to my own thoughts again.

 

 

I sat for a while on my own while, thinking over everything. It wasn't that I felt responsible for what happened to Daryl. Sure, I felt a little bit of worry about pulling the knife from his side but I know, had I been there I could have ended up in the same situation. _Oh c'mon who are we kidding, of course I would have been the one who would have gotten hurt if we were outside. I swear I can't take a step without hurting myself or putting myself between the things that can hurt me and saving someone else. Anyone would think I have suicidal tendencies, which is a load of shit by the way. I'm just reckless, there's a difference,_ I grinned to myself.

My feelings and emotions were just giving me grief at the moment, everything getting magnified ten-fold because of the situation. And being so close to almost losing Daryl scared the shit out of me. _Did he feel similar when I got taken by Luke and his merry band of assholes?_

 

 

Instead of going to Daryl's room, I decided to change from the bloody clothes I was still wearing, knowing I probably wasn't going to go anywhere until he woke up. I felt several pairs of eyes watching me as I walked from the locker room to the Chief's office, keeping my eyes firmly planted on the ground. I'm sure some of them were thinking I was having a breakdown or that I was avoiding going to see Daryl or that I didn't want to see him at all. And they were mostly right about one thing, I had been avoiding but it was more me trying to get my head screwed on straight before I walked in there to see him lying unconscious on his bed. That thought alone had me the most freaked out. I didn't want to see him lying there in that state, it just wasn't who he was. He was always meant to be that guy that was ready to go, not lying there knocked out and injured.

And then to think of what hell he was going to cause when Hershel told him he'd need to rest. He'd all **but** cuss the man out, _because he has respect for the man,_ and pout all bloody day about not being able to go do what he likes. He was going to be a nightmare when he wakes up. And I sure as shit wasn't going to give him a bell for when he needed something, I'd end up wringing his neck, because he'd ring it just to piss me off or ask for something you had previously offered to him ten minutes ago and he'd refused said item. _Yup, no fucking bell for Dixon. Even thinking about a bell just gets me worked up now...and there's no bell to speak of. Maybe I have some pent-up anger or frustration just lying under the surface currently. Should probably go sort it, but that would mean another delay...sounds more like procrastination but whatever..._

 

Closing the door to the office behind me I let out a huge breath, trying to calm my mind and my nerves. Dragging my bag over to the couch I took a seat, feeling my body sink into the comfy contours of the couch and just stared at the door in thought for a few seconds before shaking my head and concentrating on what I needed to do.

I dug through the bag finding a slightly clean top, _well one that wasn't covered in splatters of blood,_ setting it next to me. I took my gun from my holster and took out the empty clip and replacing it with a full one, placing it back in my bag. I knew I wasn't going to need it for the next few hours or so.

 

I went to grab the knife from my boot, only to remember I didn't have it anymore. I wasn't sad I'd lost the knife, didn't exactly have sentimental value or anything, was just one I'd found in a store about two months ago, not long after Chris had left to look for his family. I was more than sure I had a few spares in the truck under the back seat.

Who knows what would have happened if Rick and Lori hadn't of come to the rescue. _Who would have thought Lori would be helping save my ass...although I'm pretty sure Rick had something to do with that?_

 

I changed quickly, feeling slightly better now that I wasn't splashed in Daryl's blood. I was essentially clean, _well as clean as I could be currently. Wish we could get those damn showers working, I'd even take a cold one._

I was standing there in cleaner clothes at my door hesitating. My irrational fears were starting to return again. I took a deep breath and squashed those fears down and turned the handle.

 

I quickly walked over to his room, figuring if I walked too slow I'd give myself a reason to back out and hide in mine instead. I didn't bother knocking, because he was unconscious, so why bother? But what I wasn't expecting was to see Carol sitting on his bed, leaning over him. _What was she doing? Kissing him? Smelling him? Whispering to him? My mind could make this shit up all day,_ I thought bitterly to myself.

Having heard the door, she quickly shot up and looked over to me a little shocked to see it was me. She was still holding his hand but noticing me she quickly let go of it, so fast it looked like he had shocked her, _one can hope._ I, on the other hand was standing there feeling...well I don't know what I was feeling. _Fucking feelings are gonna be the death of me,_ I growled inwardly to myself.

 

“Oh...um...I'll...come back when you're done” I mumbled turning slightly to leave again. _Typical that just when I finally get my courage under control and I have to see her here. I should have expected it really._

“No, no, it's fine. I was just leaving” Carol said before quickly rushing past me, leaving me standing in his doorway, slightly confused by Carol's demeanour. Ever since the ' _break-in_ ' downstairs she's been acting different. I don't think I've had a snide remark thrown my way by her since then. _Weird._

 

I stood there for a minute before I decided to ignore whatever Carol was doing leaning over Daryl. And seeing me had run her off, so that had to be a good thing, right? I wiped my sweaty palms on my jeans and stepped further into the room, pulling the door mostly closed behind me. I could hear Daryl's uneven breaths as he breathed, his eyes firmly closed. Bruises, cuts and scrapes seemed to cover a lot of Daryl from what I could see, bandages and surgical tape covering some other wounds. His shirt gone, but his body covered mostly by a large blanket, which I know he'd be grateful for. Hershel would have known about his scars, having seen them when he patched him up after his bolt incident back at the farm.

It just didn't seem right seeing Daryl lying here like this.

 

 

The sound of the door opening caught me slightly off-guard, I'd been so immersed in my own thoughts I hadn't even given any thought to people possibly visiting Daryl. T-dog stepped through the door and I smiled, the first genuine smile I'd made for the last few hours. I pushed myself off the bed, walked the few feet to stand in front of him and wrapped my arms around him. His possible fate had been weighing in the back of my mind since I'd seen him drive off in the Prius several hours ago.

“I'm alright” he said squeezing me back.

“Well I'd be lying to say I wasn't worried” I said, my voice somewhat muffled by his shoulder. I pulled back and smiled again. “Glad you're ok T.”

He smiled back at me before looking over my shoulder towards Daryl. “How's he doin'?” he asked.

“Cuts, bruises, concussion, stab wound to his side” I listed off dryly.

“Hershel said he'll pull through, tough as nails Dixon's are” he smirked to himself. “ 'sides sure he's just wanting you to play nurse or somethin' ” he chuckled quietly. I hastily elbowed him in the ribs for that comment.

 

“Did Rick berate you yet for pulling that stunt?” I asked.

“That stunt? I seem to remember _someone_ else pulling the exact same stunt a week ago...And nope not a word. Just patted me on the shoulder and said thanks.”

“Figures” I snorted. “I tried to suggest a plan but got shot down” I said shaking my head.

“No surprise there...When we heard the shots from across the street, Carl was relaying everything he could see through the binoculars from the house. And we could see more walkers closing in on the house, knew we needed to do something to get y'all back. Had a bad feeling something was wrong...So I did what I had to” T-dog explained.

“You sound a lot like me right now...and that's dangerous. Don't need to be going all reckless like I usually do...but thanks...for today, I don't know how we would have made it back here otherwise” I sighed.

 

T sat with me for a while longer before he stepped out, making sure to give me another hug and closed the door behind him. And once again I was left with my thoughts. I sat across from Daryl on Rick's bed, _hoping he wouldn't mind,_ and tried to close my eyes, because staring at him was making me more anxious by the minute. Listening to his unsteady breathing wasn't much more comforting but it was better than the former. I tried to let my thoughts drift into something other than the current situation but my brain was far from done letting me think of something else. _Why can't he just wake up already?_

 

Even though I had done nothing but watch over Daryl, I hadn't even realised how long I'd been sitting here for until Maggie appeared. I hadn't been able to sit still for long since I'd been in here, constantly pacing or checking on Daryl.

“Bought you some dinner” Maggie said carrying a plate and taking a seat next to me on Rick's bed.

“Thanks” I said forcing a smile towards her. “How's Glenn doing?” I asked as I slowly started to eat.

“He'll be fine, couple of stitches in the back of his head, few bruises and demanding sponge baths, so I'm guessing he'll be fine” she chuckled.

I laughed quietly with her. I appreciated she was trying to cheer me up.

“Tell him of course he can have a sponge bath, and then send Hershel or T-dog in with a bucket of water and towel, just don't tell either party before you send them. That'll serve Glenn right for demanding things, even if he is injured” I smiled.

“Oooo I like that idea. Couldn't ya imagine his face if my dad walked in carrying a bucket and a sponge. Glenn wouldn't know what to do” she giggled beside me.

“Not like he doesn't deserve it. Did he tell you about what he asked me the other day in front of your father?” I asked.

“Yeah, he did. I would have smacked him upside the head if he'd done that to me” Maggie said.

“He's just...nosey is all. I don't get why he _needs_ to know what is or isn't happening between Daryl and I” I said shaking my head.

“Ain't got much else entertainment...watching you two is like our own romantic/drama/comedic tv show.”

“Um...thanks?” I said hesitantly, “Don't know if that's a compliment or an insult.”

“Probably a bit of both” she laughs, “more compliment, than insult though” she smiles.

 

We end up talking for a bit, moving away from the seriousness of today and finding things we had in common that we didn't know beforehand. And a few funny stories from some of her time when she was in college. It helped get my mind off things for the time being while she was there. But as it always did, she ended up leaving me to my own thoughts, excusing herself and taking the empty plate with her.

 

 

Rick came in a couple of hours after Maggie had left, I guessed the time, my only indication was it was quite dark outside now.

“Camille? You awake?” Rick whispered in the darkness.

“Yeah” I sighed.

“Oh good, hoping I wasn't gonna wake you when I turned in for the night” he said still whispering. I heard him shuffle across the room, cursing quietly when he banged a limb on the bed. He flicked the lantern on beside the bed, a warm glow starting to fill the room.

“Oh...I should go...” I said, not really wanting to leave Daryl but knew I couldn't stay here.

Rick waved his hand, “Pfft, ya don't have to go. Thought ya would be sleepin' here anyway” he said taking a seat next to me and looking over to Daryl and sighing heavily. “God I froze when I saw him lying there today, wasn't sure if he was...just ain't right seeing him like this” he sighed again.

“Know what ya mean. Was freaking out when Hershel was working on him, thought I'd done more bad than good by pulling the knife from his side.”

“Yeah, why did you do that?” he questioned, it wasn't accusing more curious.

“Mine got stuck in a walker's head, couldn't pull it free, no bullets left, Daryl's crossbow was too far for me to get safely without either of us getting hurt...so only option was the blade sticking into his side...he said a few things, said Merle's name too...don't think he knew what was going on...” my eyes flicking over to Daryl, watching as he breathed a little unsteady.

“Ya did fine. Hershel said there didn't look to be any lasting damage, missed vital organs. So ya did fine alright...even he would agree” he said gesturing to Daryl.

From there we both just fell into comfortable silence, both of us taking turns to keep an eye on Daryl, while the other rested, both of us seemingly too keyed up to sleep just yet. _Maybe some of the adrenaline present currently, because both of us had an exhausting day, emotionally and physically._

 

 

“Couldn't you just imagine everyone working in this fire-station?” I ask completely out of the blue, the thought popping randomly into my head.

“What?” Rick laughed beside me, perking up at my question.

“C'mon, you could picture it, right?” I asked, as the mini-drama started to play in my head, theme music and all.

“Ok...I'll bite. Lay it on me” he said shaking his head.

“Well you'd be the Captain, ordering everyone around, seems like something you'd be good at” I grinned at him, “Daryl would be your lieutenant or something, cos he likes ordering people around too” I said rolling my eyes thinking of the many times he ordered or commanded me to do something. “Hershel...I think he would be a chief or something, some big-wig in the office” I laughed, thinking of him strutting into the office and have everyone's respect immediately.

“So, who else?” Rick questioned.

“Carol I think she would be an EMT, Beth too possibly but she'd be in training or something like that _or_ community service, I'm sure she's got a bad girl streak in her somewhere” I laughed. “T would be the veteran, probably been there for years, part of the furniture and everything...Carl would be the Captain's kid, so he just wants to grow up just like his dad...Lori will still play the nagging wife” I muffled a laugh behind my hand, Rick smirking as well. “Maggie would be a bad-ass fire-woman, taking no shit from the boys...Glenn would be the newbie, fresh out of the academy, as green as they come, probably following Maggie round like a lost puppy...ain't much different to now I suppose” I chuckled.

“And what about you? You listed everyone else but yourself?” Rick questioned.

I chuckled. “I'm probably the one you're on coming to save, with the amount of trouble I get in these days and on more than one occasion, thought it would be pretty fitting...Then I'd start a steamy love affair with that hot fire-man Daryl” I grinned.

Rick rolled his eyes at me. “Nah I think you'd be a bad-ass fire-woman too, constantly causing me problems, probably telling you and Daryl off for getting busy where you shouldn't” he chuckled.

“What? That wouldn't happen...Daryl's a private kinda guy” I defended him.

“Didn't look it the other day when he planted one on you in front of everyone or when you guys finally made up” he reasoned.

“He wouldn't have done that if he'd remembered everyone was there and the farm was heat of the moment. We didn't intend to...where we did” I said rolling my eyes.

“He knew everyone was there, who know what we would have witnessed if I hadn't of cleared my throat...” he teased.

“Wouldn't have got that far ya perv!” I glared at him.

“Good thing to know...there were impressionable eyes in the room” he smirked. “And anymore trouble from you two and I'll drag you both in my office” he said in his commanding voice before laughing.

“ _My_ office” I corrected.

“I thought _I_ was chief” he pouted.

I just shook my head at him. He was doing his best to make me smile and for a time it does work, until I look over to Daryl on the other bed and I feel my mood start to drop again. Hershel had said he would be ok, we just had to be patient for him to wake back up. I, of course had fuck all patience, especially when it was _this_ kind of situation.

Rick notices my change and drops his arm around me, pulling me against him, my head burying into the crook of his neck. It was a comforting gesture, nothing more. _God what I wouldn't give for Lori to walk in right now. She would pitch a fit._

And as if my prayers were being answered, the door opened. I heard the shocked intake of breath and instantly knew it was the woman in question. I was tempted to turn around but knew it wasn't worth the hassle. I could feel the scowl without turning my head, I smirked to myself. Nothing at all was happening with Rick but if I can push her buttons, then I wasn't opposed, not in the slightest.

“I'll be right back” Rick whispered to me, getting his arm back and walking towards the door, keeping it slightly ajar. I sat forward on the bed, pushing myself off and stood over Daryl. _Creepy, I know._ This was the most still I had seen him in quite a while, he was always so fidgety, could never stay still for long. Now he lay almost frozen, the only movement seemed to be the rise and fall from his chest as he breathed. I brushed along his cheek, down to his jawline, a small amount of stubble starting to grow in. Even his face looked worry-free. I wondered if that would change once he woke up.

 

I could hear Lori and Rick's hushed conversation from outside, for once she was being relatively quiet. At least for the moment.

“Leave her be Lori. She's upset 'bout Daryl” he gestured to the unconscious man in his room.

“Can't _she_ find comfort somewhere else?” she growled quietly.

“He offered” I muttered, too quietly for either of them to hear.

“Ain't like that Lori and ya know it. She's worried about Daryl. So? So fucking what if I want to hug her to make her feel better. I'm her friend, emphasis on the friend part” Rick huffed angrily.

“I didn't mean...” she says defensively.

Rick cut her off. “Yeah, yeah. I know what ya meant. Just leave it Lori.” he grumbled.

 

Rick returned a few minutes later, closing the door quietly behind him. I was still watching over Daryl, stressing just as much as I was before.

“Guess ya heard her?” Rick sighed.

“Not a word” I said sarcastically.

“She won't bother you for the rest of the night at least. Can't promise tomorrow” he mumbled.

“Thanks Rick” I sighed tiredly.

“You should get some sleep. He's more than likely gonna sleep through the night and so should you get some sleep too” Rick suggested.

I still stood there, a hesitant look on my face. I was reluctant to leave him for the night. I knew Rick was right though I needed sleep. No doubt I would need my energy for tomorrow, especially after overhearing Hershel mumble to himself about how we were running low on some medical supplies, ones that would be needed for Daryl to heal properly. We were practically out of antibiotics, among other things he had listed off. We had enough to get through tonight but tomorrow would be another story, and that was also providing that we didn't have any more medical emergencies overnight. _Surely, we'd reached our bad-luck quota for the day?_ I know Rick would probably disagree against me going on a run to get those supplies but the simple argument of us needing them would hopefully steer him back to my way of thinking. _And there was something I needed to pick up for myself as well...As if I didn't have enough to worry about currently._

Rick spoke again getting my attention. “You can sleep there” he said indicating to his bed, “C'mon I'll sit with ya for a bit, keep ya company” he smiled.

 

 

“Hershel said he's gonna be fine” Rick said beside me.

“I know...Can't help but worry though” I sighed.

“And I can just hear him now, scoffing and rolling his eyes at that” he smiled.

I too smiled. “He would and say something like _'ain't gotta worry bout me woman'..._ ” I said in my most Dixon-like accent. “I'm sure when he does wake, he's probably going to go back to his sulky self, probably tell me to fuck off. Carol of course will come swooping in...”

Rick cut me off. “Why ya gotta go down that path?”

I shrugged my shoulders. “Figured since he's been hit hard enough in the head now, maybe it knocked some sense into him...And now Carol's said she wants to talk to me. Said that's what she came downstairs for yesterday...to talk...about what I've got an idea” I said looking down at Daryl.

“Ya want me to have a word with her?” he said.

“Probably best not to. It'll honestly make things worse...You know how they are. And you seem to put your foot in it more often than not” I sighed heavily, shaking my head.

“Can ya blame me?...but I'll try keep my foot out of my mouth from now on” he said squeezing my shoulder. “I will.”

“Yeah, yeah, whatever Grimes” I mumbled, settling back into his warm embrace as we both watched over Daryl.

 

 

Movement woke me, sort of, I was still drifting in and out at this stage. I was about to try to speak up to tell Rick to stop moving, when their voices made me stop and listen to the conversation. I was happy he was awake but I was just so exhausted, even talking seemed too much right now.

“Sorry man, we were talkin' and guess we fell asleep” Rick said through a yawn. “She's been worried bout ya all day.”

“What 'appened?” Daryl groaned.

“Heard the gunshots, we ran over, found the girls and a dead man at their feet. He tried to take Beth...then we found Glenn, bleeding, barely conscious. Camille went to find you. She...fuck, she's stubborn, wouldn't wait for me or anything” he sighed heavily before continuing and I was pretty sure he was rolling his eyes at me too, “Found you passed out, knife in your side, out of it, walkers closing in...We all got out fine 'fore ya ask. Hershel stitched ya up. Just been waitin' for your ass to wake up.”

“The guy jumped me, hittin' me in the back of the head. Hardly 'ad any time ta swing...don't 'member much after that” Daryl winced.

“Seems it was just the one guy, he jumped Glenn too he wasn't quite as bad off as you though. Scared the crap out of the girls. Beth was quite shaken up and Lori shot the guy, so she's playing the hero card right now” Rick sighed.

 

 

“How ya feelin'?” Rick asked quietly, his hand twitching on my side.

“Like I been stabbed an' hit over the head” Daryl grumbled.

“Well Hershel said as soon as ya wake up again to take some antibiotics and some pain pills and to take it easy on the water...Ya know you're gonna have to take it easy for a bit, right?” he smirked.

Daryl snorted. “No shit.”

 

Silence fell between them for a minute and I had a feeling Daryl was trying to suss out the situation he'd woken up to. I, on the other hand was precariously teetering on the edge of sleep again, the on-going conversation just barely keeping me conscious enough to listen in.

 

“She 'ave any nightmares?” Daryl asked.

“Nah she's been still for hours...I can...?” I felt Rick move a fraction. I wanted to tell him to be still, the more he moved, the more I was going to wake up.

“Nah don't, she'll wake” Daryl said as if reading my mind. “She needs more sleep” he stated. He knew a little about my nightmares, having witnessed one a few nights back. But I had still yet to tell him how bad they were sometimes. I had purposefully kept that from him, not because I didn't trust him but I didn't want him to worry more than he did. I didn't need to add another thing to his already full plate. _Not to mention the possibility of being pregnant._ _That I was definitely keeping to myself at least till there is confirmation. Until then I was on my own, I couldn't take the risk of telling someone and having someone else over-hear or that person telling other people instead...Next run that's on my list of things to get. Antibiotics, bandages, pregnancy test..._

“Ya sure man? I can move her without waking her. Used to do it with Carl all the time when he was younger” Rick offered.

“Its fine man” Daryl sighed. “Can't really move much anyway.” And I could feel his eyes watching me. I'm sure when he woke up it probably looked a little suspicious, here I was my head laying on Rick's lap, Rick's hand resting on my side and a blanket draped over both of us. We still had all our clothes on so that at least worked in the less suspicious category. But I was sure Daryl had given it a distrustful glance before he concluded this wasn't that. _Well I hope that he had come to that conclusion._

“So yesterday...? Ya mean to do that?” Rick asked, I could feel the smugness radiating off him.

“What'dya mean?” Daryl breathed.

“Well...were ya taking my advice?” he smirked.

I was fighting to stay awake, I wanted to hear what Daryl had to say, but my drowsiness was winning the battle and both their voices were starting to fade away as I fell asleep again.

 

 

Waking up I was confused for a few seconds before remembering where I was, seeing Daryl asleep in the bed across from me. And it took me another few seconds to remember whose arm I was using as a pillow and the warm body behind me. _Rick. I almost felt like I should be feeling guilty for sleeping here. With Rick. But it wasn't like that...oh god what would Daryl say? Oh shit, that's right I vaguely remember them talking while I was almost asleep. He better not be mad with me,_ I sighed inwardly.

 

I carefully extracted myself from Rick, he rolled towards me, I think seeking more warmth. I pulled the blanket back over him and he settled and walked over to Daryl. He seemed to be breathing a little better this morning. His body actually resting for once. I checked his forehead, making sure no fever had materialized overnight, thankfully his head felt fine. I pulled his blankets back over him and the faintest of smiles appeared on his face, I couldn't help but smile back, even though he was still asleep. I quickly kissed his forehead before deciding I needed to get out of the room just for a bit. Some fresh air perhaps.

 

Breakfast was a nightmare, I couldn't eat my food fast enough. It probably would have been safer staying in bed with Rick, I chuckled inwardly to myself. Lori's looks didn't usually have such a strong effect on me but this morning I could feel myself blanching under her gaze. She was shooting me dirty looks the entire time, more so when Rick walked in smiling after his good night’s rest. _With me._ I get why she was pissed, I had _slept_ with her husband, I laughed inwardly to myself. But it was totally innocent. He fell asleep, as did I, and I had my head in his lap and somewhere in the night he was lying **next** to me. Yeah...it looked dodgy as fuck but it wasn't like we were screwing around to begin with.

I just needed to concentrate on finishing my breakfast, cleaning up what I needed to around here before heading towards town and getting the medical supplies we needed. _As well as a few personal items for myself._

But of course, she wasn't going to let me escape that easy.

 

“I need to speak to you in private” Lori said slamming her spoon down on the table, making everyone jump. And then everyone followed her eyes and I just knew she was looking at me. _Fucking give me a break woman,_ I groaned to myself out loud and not as quiet as I thought I had been. Just another long ass day in process. _Because my day can't seem to start nowadays without the morning rant from Lori...Breakfast of champions..._

“Everyone out!” she barked.

“No” I growled with a hardened glare. “Whatever you have to say to me, say it in front of everyone. No point in hiding behind the bullshit façade” I sighed heavily closing my eyes.

 _Dear God, if you're real, please give me the strength not to throttle this woman in front of everyone...No matter how much she deserves it. I'm a better person than her, so please don't let me stoop to her level. Cheers. Oh, and please make sure Daryl is ok._ I silently prayed before opening my eyes again.

“Beth, why don't you take Carl upstairs, help out with watch” Rick practically pleaded. Beth nodded, gathering a pouting Carl and heading to the stairs. I was surprised he hadn't begged to stay, although seeing what kind of mood his mother was in, I was more than tempted to run after Carl.

 

As soon as the door closed to the roof, Lori started her _rant of the day_. “Fine you want everyone to hear...I have no problem airing your dirty laundry. I just wish you hadn't dragged _my_ husband into this as well” Lori sneered, shooting a dirty look Rick's way.

I shook my head, taking a few deep breaths. This was going to take first prize as _Most awkward breakfast...Ever...Alright, she wanted to play this game. I guess we should start spilling some home truths. Yup I will take my permanent position on Lori's shit list forever after this. I guess there are worse fates..._

“Rick has done nothing wrong, so don't try blame him for something that he didn't even do” I huffed clenching my fists under the table.

“But you don't deny that _you_ did wrong” Lori smirked. _A little premature I'm thinking._

“Did I say that? No, I didn't. If you stopped cutting me off and actually let me fucking talk maybe you'd get your god damn answer” I growled. She opened her mouth about to speak and I raised my hand, cutting her off, “I wasn't done yet. Look, I don't know how many times I can say I'm not screwing your husband. Rick's said that as well. And I thought by now it would be plainly obvious that I'm with Daryl. Yes, I'll admit sleeping, _and I stress the word sleeping_ , on Rick's bed last night. But only to keep an eye on Daryl. Stop trying to make a fucking scandal out of nothing.”

Oh, how I wanted to throw it back in her face about her and Shane but I felt like I was betraying Rick's friendship by making that public knowledge, even though I was sure everyone knew the baby isn't Rick's and about her affair with Shane. How much of the details I was sure they didn't know a lot, it was more speculation than anything? But her infidelity was not my card to present to everyone, that was up to Rick. _Or Lori._ This is me trying to be a better person than her. I may be a bitch sometimes but I'm not a vindictive one. _But she's damn near driving me to it._

 

“And what would Daryl have to say about you sleeping with Rick, in the same room while he was lying unconscious, not ten feet away. You think he'd be so _understanding_!” she said in her most scandalised voice.

I was about to answer when Rick spoke up.

“Actually, he woke up during the night. Saw her sleeping, told him I would move and he said not to, to stay put, to let Camille sleep. He wasn't jealous or suspicious...” Rick reasoned only to be cut off.

“Well maybe I should open his eyes to some facts...” Lori huffed.

“Lori” Hershel warned, surprising me and a few others in the room. Lori turned to Hershel, shock written all over her face. “Let him rest, he's been through enough yesterday and needs his rest” he said before standing and walking towards Daryl and Rick's room, presumably to check on him but I also suspected he didn't want to be apart of this _discussion_ anymore. Frankly neither did I but I had to say a few more things before I could leave.

Lori looked like she was fuming now, I couldn't help the hint of a smirk playing on my lips. I was glad this was out in the open for once and not somewhere where no one could hear all the bullshit flying out of her mouth.

 

“Well he should be informed when he wakes up” Lori said narrowing her eyes at me, begging me to challenge her. “Carol...maybe you could check in on Daryl” she said, not exactly suggesting. Carol like the good solider she was, slowly stood up but didn't make a move either way. She seemed to be deliberating her options again, just like yesterday when she _could_ have shot me. She glanced quickly my way several times, still not following Lori's _orders._ “Carol?” Lori prompted.

Carol looked at Lori and shook her head once before heading in the opposite direction from Daryl's room. _Huh...what the hell is going on? As if things couldn't get any stranger around here._

 

“Fine. If she won't do it, I'll do it myself” she grumbled to herself, standing as if to go on her _mission to spread the word_.

“You heard what Hershel said. He needs rest, not listening to you bitch and moan” I said rolling my eyes.

“And you think he's gonna listen to anything you say after he finds out how untrustworthy you are, _sleeping_ with _my husband, his friend._ You think he'll listen to you then?” she growled.

“Do you even hear what you're saying? How fucking ridiculous it sounds? And I think you're forgetting something...something that makes just as much of an untrustworthy person as you have tried to point out several times...Remember killing that man yesterday. Murdering him...” I said narrowing my eyes.

“Yes, I remember. Still doesn't make me anything like you!” she spat.

“But that's where you're wrong, _again._ Why'd you kill him? To protect yourself and the others?...”

Lori cut me off again. “He was going to kill me! And was trying to...” Lori said defensively, only to be cut off by me this time.

“Don't try make this anything more than it was. Just because it was one man instead of how many I had to kill...doesn't change anything, both of our motives were exactly the same. Kill or be killed. I did what I had to do to survive, so did you. You were protecting others, so was I, and that was including your sorry ass at the time...Granted, I admit I have more blood on my hands but it was all for the same reasons. I know what I'm saying is still not going to make a lick of fucking difference with you, you'll still believe you're holier than thou and that what you did and what I did are two totally different things. But I think its time you wake the fuck up and realise, you aren't judge, jury and executioner...well maybe you do have a little bit of the executioner in you” I smirked. _That last one was too easy, couldn't turn it down._

Lori continued to gape at me across the table, seeming to be shaken slightly by what I'd said so far.

 

“And if I can't be trusted because I'm a killer...doesn't that leave you in the same boat as me? Should _we_ be considering our safety being around you as well? Seems fair since you decided to put me up for that judgement...You can't have one set of rules for me and another for you, just to suit yourself.” I sighed heavily before standing, “So I'm done. Done being your punching bag when you feel things aren't going your way. Done listening to you put me down in front of everyone. Done listening to you call me a whore. Done letting you try sabotage things with Daryl and I. Done listening to anymore of these pointless fucking speeches from you. **I'm fucking done.** Don't talk to me unless you mean to fucking apologise. Otherwise stay the fuck outta my way and I'll stay out of yours.” I said with finality, pushing the chair back from the table, it scraping loudly and turning to walk away. Everyone in the room was still silent, you could have heard a pin drip. Lori was still gaping after me, stunned a little. I'd said my piece and I think I felt better for it. Stronger even. And I hoped it was the right thing to do, regarding the rest of the group, I didn't want this to turn them against me. But if that was my course, then so be it. I wasn't going to take her shit anymore, I deserved better than that.

 

I didn't think it would go poorly in my favour, some of them had stood up for me, most were trying to avoid getting involved, staying off Lori's bitch meter. And that didn't bother me in the slightest. I'd finally grown balls big enough to stand up to her. Sure, a lot of that was just bravado and I was shitting myself on the inside the entire time and trying to rein in the anger that was threatening to spill over and consume me, it was a balance of the scales. But somehow, by some small miracle I made it through.

 

 

I was glad no one followed me as I went straight to my room, I needed that time to decompress. I had no doubt Lori was still trying to plead her case to some of the others at least the ones who had stuck around after, if she had managed to find her voice afterwards. I imagined most had bailed just as I did. I felt like there was this huge weight lifted form my shoulders. I felt like I finally got one up on her. The urge to smack her around was still there but that wasn't the type of person I was, no matter how much she deserved it.

_Now I just wanted to get out of here for a bit, to breathe, before Hurricane Lori went bat-shit-crazy on me. Again. Hell, I knew that was a possibility, she'd love the chance to belittle me somewhere where there were no prying eyes._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gotta thank Starry_Night for the idea about Rick having a friendly sleepover with Camille. Hope I did your idea justice :)  
> It took me a few days to get the Lori/Camille yelling match right and I think its right. I hope it came across the right way, Camille standing up for herself and dishing out a few home truths to Lori, and that's more of where I wanted it to go, Camille standing up to Lori. Plus trying to bring Lori down to Camille's level as she's a murderer now too.  
> I think she did the right thing by not throwing the Shane comments out there, she has respect for Rick and as much as those comments would have been a dagger to Lori, for the sake of Rick its not worth it, at least to me.  
> Does anyone think Camille should tell Daryl or anyone that she might be pregnant? Or wait till she finds out one way or another?  
> And poor Daryl all banged up. I did like the cute sleeping moment with Rick, it wasn't sexual for either of them, just in case anyone was worried I was suddenly gonna pair her off with Rick. It was just him providing some comfort. And it was kinda funny with Lori...another dagger lol. I'm sure if it hadn't been such an emotional time for Camille she would have thrown in an “Oh Rick!” when Rick came back into the room for giggles.  
> And I must say I'm slightly tempted to write that sponge bath scene with Glenn just to imagine his face when Hershel walks in instead of Maggie.  
> Alright I've rambled enough. You guys know what I love to hear!!


	44. Flickers of Light

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter kinda stumped me a little when I was writing it. For some reason my mind wasn't clear enough, then I got distracted reading other fics lol. It was a bad cycle. But last night I made myself sit down and finish this off, so hope you all enjoy it.  
> Thanks to all those who commented last chapter, love the niceness. And to to_the_TARDIS_Sterek was blushing throughout your entire comment :D And EdieDixon love your impatience ;) UndeadMama, I'm sure your request can be done ;) BreenaBelle-xoxo, love the long review, never apologise for it, I love it, trust me!  
> Alright I'm not going to ramble on like I normally do....so on with the chapter!!!

I literally growled out in relief as I closed the door behind me and I wasn't too quiet about it either, both the growling and the closing of the door. I leant up against the door with all my weight, my head falling back against it with a small thud. All the heaviness, the guilt, everything I felt since I found my family again felt like it had lifted. Sure, I wasn't feeling back to my old self yet and I knew it would take some time before I was feeling like I used to or close to my old self but the _talk_ with Lori was almost cathartic. _Shit if I'd known yelling at Lori like that would give me such a high, I would have done it long ago._

 

I wondered how long it would take for things to come right again, whether the nightmares would stop. There was a large amount of doubt still weighing around the subject, knowing even though I'd stepped up to Lori, that was never really the source of the nightmares, they had started well before I'd found my family. Lori's bitching had just amplified certain aspects of the nightmares, enhancing some of the tinier imperfections. Nope it was going to take a lot more of whatever counted as therapy these days to overcome the nightmares.

 

 

As the adrenaline seemed to calm throughout my body I stepped away from the door and sat on the couch. I wasn't going to spend today cooped up in the fire-station, not a chance in hell. I needed to just get outside for a few hours, blow off some steam but first I had a task I knew needed doing before I could go hunting. _Well two tasks._ First would be to find a pharmacy and raid it for much needed supplies and the second task was also at the pharmacy, finding a pregnancy test so I can put another fear to rest. Well in just over a week I could, taking it today or even tomorrow would just be a waste. It'd be too soon and I wasn't about to waste this. _As if I didn't have enough problems to worry about. My head was going to be all over the show until I found out. Maybe going out hunting today wouldn't be such a bad idea? No, no, I'm not going to let **this** run my life, when it could all be for nothing, as callous as that sounds. I **need** this time for myself. One of the many times I need to get my head on straight...seems like a regular god-damned occurrence for me these days,_ I groaned inwardly to myself.

 

 

Staring at my bow I made my decision. Task one, pharmacy, come back here drop off the meds, then task two hunting, alone. _I can just picture Rick's reaction when I let him know I'm going out hunting alone. I know we've had a few rough days and I get the concern, I really do but I need this, before every day I'm screaming my head off at Lori or possibly Carol. I would say he should be encouraging me to go for the sake of everyone else but we both know that's a fucking lie._

I grabbed my empty backpack and grabbed a few things I would need for both tasks, wanting to be as efficient as possible. I wanted to avoid coming back here after the pharmacy run if I could help it, knowing full well Rick would somehow manage to talk me out of going hunting, distracting me with Daryl or wrangling Maggie or Glenn to try side-line me. I shouldered my bow and quiver, grabbing my gun, holstering it and then stashing a few extra clips in my bag. I knew I had a few full clips in the truck, but this was more out of habit. _Oh well, better to be over-prepared than under,_ I thought to myself. Before reaching the door, I grabbed a hoody, stuffing it into my backpack before heading for the door.

 

Walking out of the office I noticed Rick was nowhere in sight, meaning I would have to go looking for him to at least let him know where I was heading off to. I _could_ pass the message off to one of the others but Rick would string me up if he heard it from someone else, I can understand why as well.

 

As I reached the garage I expected to see Rick, but again he wasn't here. I just wanted to find him so I could let him know my plans so I could get on with my day. I turned back and headed towards the stairs. As I bypassed one the offices, Rick came out. And I had failed to notice him in the office, not that I had bothered to look for some reason, probably expecting him to be upstairs for some reason.

 

“Camille! Wait up” Rick called. I slowed my pace, letting him catch up to me before I came to a stop. He stood next to me and glanced hesitantly over in my direction, assessing my mood I guessed.

“Where ya off to?” he asked.

“I thought I'd go on a run, get some more medical supplies since I heard Hershel saying we're running low, said I would go. Daryl and Glenn both are going to need more antibiotics and he since gave the last of them to Daryl last night, we can't exactly wait a few days to go find some. And an hour out of this place would do me a world of good” I said explaining myself, leaving out my intention to also go hunting after. _Critical tasks first, don't give him a reason to give you a big red stamped 'denied'._

“Ya shouldn't go alone.” Rick said furrowing his brow.

“I shouldn't but could really use the quiet” I huffed.

“Ain't gonna happen. I'm goin' with ya and that's final” Rick said sternly.

“Just for once could I just have the peace and quiet?” I asked, still kind of wanting some distance and sounding like a petulant child.

“I get it, I do. But going alone could get you killed, ain't gonna risk that, I'd never forgive myself if something happened and frankly Daryl would throttle me if I said to go on your own. Look I'll keep my mouth shut out there, unless its necessary” he reasoned.

I watched him for a minute, weighing up my options and whether he would stick to his word. Deep down I knew he would stick to his word and only speak if there were danger or if I prompted him. And going by the determination on his face showing me he wasn't about to back down, I relented, albeit very reluctantly. “Fine” I rolled my eyes. I know I was sounding like a spoiled brat but I just wanted more time to decompress, not matter how fucking reckless it sounds wanting to go on my own. _Fuck, maybe I do have a death wish. No, you're entitled to bit of a time-out, surely?_

 

 

We drove to the store in complete silence. Rick kept glancing over to me every minute or so as he clutched the steering wheel. I think my silence was freaking him out. But honestly, I was perfectly content with the lack of conversation. I'd said enough his morning. And I was sure Rick wasn't holding any resentment towards me for the things I had said to his _wife_. Maybe he was worried I was going to lay into him now? For what reason I couldn't quite determine, at least other than his quick glances in my direction every thirty seconds. And I continued to ignore his looks, constantly scanning the streets around us for any threats or any signs of where to head in town.

 

Being that the town looked very apocalyptic right now made navigation through the streets a slow and tedious drive. What normally I assumed would have taken no more five minutes at best, if there had been traffic, was now taking us nearly fifteen minutes to wind our way through abandoned vehicles and debris. One large SUV had crashed into the corner of what looked to be a small café, had caused the neighbouring building to crumble and collapse into the café. I made a mental note to myself that over the next few days we should probably come down here and scavenge whatever fuel we could. I wasn't sure if any of the vehicles had been raided but with the number of vehicles present, the odds for once could be in our favour. _But I wasn't about to start counting chickens yet this shit usually has a way of blowing up spectacularly in my face. I'd make the suggestion to Rick later, if he hasn't thought the same thing yet. I wouldn't bet against him to think he hadn't to be honest._

 

Finally spotting a small pharmacy situated two blocks over from the main street, it looked more intact than most other stores we had passed back on the main street. Although I still wasn't expecting us to walk in and have everything still well stocked on the shelves, nothing out of place and not a speck of dust anywhere, that was not our reality anymore. I however expect a walker or two standing guard inside, there were good at deterring people away from shops. Not that they knew this of course, they had more than likely got unexpectedly trapped inside a building. And were just in standby mode until something warm-blooded came by.

 

Getting out of the truck, we both did a quick sweep of the surrounding street, making sure there were no walkers lurking nearby, also to give us enough time to sweep the store for supplies and get out before we were detected by any walkers in the area. _Because there always were._ Rick gave me a nod and indicated for me to go first. _Well this is a change of tune..._ But I also knew better than to question the man, especially when it meant I was taking lead this time around. I knew he didn't doubt my mad skills, only his protective streak wanting to protect the _fair maiden_. _Always the willing white knight._ Plus, I think he was afraid to tell me otherwise today, I smirked to myself.

 

 

We swept the store in relative silence, taking out one walker, each of us giving the other hand signals, we were a regular black ops team...ok maybe not but we could read each other pretty well and it appeared Daryl had taught the good Sheriff to tread a little lighter while outside. His footsteps were nowhere near as loud as they used to be. Before it was impossible to hunt with him or feel like he was giving our position away when we swept a house or building for walkers. I had the advantage of knowing how to be quiet in the woods, so when we _hunted_ in suburbia, stealth was ten times easier. _No pesky leaves or branches...most of the time anyway._ But Rick...well he was more bull in a china shop, but now he a little more stealth to him, nowhere near as quiet as me and miles away from Daryl but there had been improvement, I smiled to myself. _B+ for execution Mr Grimes..._

 

The door to the drug room behind the counter was of course locked and before I could think to look for something to pick the lock with, Rick reached down to the walker we had killed a few minutes prior and retrieved the keys from its belt and handing them to me.

Opening the door, the drug room had hardly been touched I noticed. But before I started scanning the shelves for what we needed I swept the room quickly for any other walkers lurking, thankfully the room was clear.

“All clear” I called over my shoulder, “And by the looks of it, hardly anything has been touched.”

“We'll grab what we need, lock it back up and bring Hershel back here tomorrow, get him to go through everything. I don't even know what most of this stuff is” he said picking up a large medicine bottle and turning it to read the label before placing it back on the shelf.

 

We packed up what we needed for now and a little extra just in case we had to move on suddenly. I moved back out to the front, scanning the shelves for what else we could use, as well as the item I was looking discretely for. Glancing back over to Rick he was searching closer towards the door. Finally seeing the item I was looking for I grabbed the two boxes on the bottom shelf and shoving them into my backpack, I glanced over to Rick to see his back was turned, so he hadn't seen. _Well that was part one of this mission completed, now all I had to do was wait for a week or so before I could find out the results. Just fucking great._ I scanned the other shelves for other supplies, looking a few above the bottom shelf, spotting a box of condoms, shoving those too into my backpack before shouldering it. _Who knows, I may still need them, if not I'm sure I could embarrass Glenn with them. I do owe him for that incident a few months back at the trailer park._ Rick had seen me putting the last box in my bag and just smirked in my direction. I silently wondered what his expression would have been if he'd seen what I had shoved into my bag just a minute previous. I'm guessing we wouldn't have immediately started picking out baby names. I'm sure it would have gone somewhere along the lines of either _'Are you fucking kidding me?'_ or a blank stare or at the very worst he'd blow a gasket. My money would be set on a combination of the first two.

I felt bad keeping it from him, and Daryl more so but if it turned out to be nothing, why bother making more people anxious for the next week? It was bad enough with just myself. And if it turned out I was carrying a little Dixon then I would say something but for now, it was just me.

 

 

“I don't _mean_ to sound like a brat when I tried to brush you off before” I sighed finally breaking the long silence.

Rick chuckled. “I know. You've had a stressful couple of...weeks...well months really, was going to say days but you and I both know trouble has been brewing since your return. It was always going to come to a boiling point sooner or later. And just before you get the wrong idea I agree with what you said to Lori this morning. Sure, I would have like a more rational conversation...but...”

“Lori's a crazy hormonal bitch currently” I smirked

“Exactly” he chuckled. “I don't think any of us knew how cruel both were being towards you...I'm glad Carl wasn't in the room to witness his mother like that. I know he loves you like a big sister and it would crush him hearing some of the stuff said this morning.”

“I'm guessing you're meaning from the both of us. I just didn't want to take the abuse anymore Rick. I mean she's a fucking hypocrite” I said shaking my head angrily.

He sighed and stopped walking turning around to face me. “Yeah...Carl just doesn't need to be hearing any of it. Don't get me wrong, I'm pretty much on-board with what you said to her. You're right, she thought she was better than...well you. And to know how much of a bully she's been...” he shook his head angrily and placed a hand on my shoulder, “I'm sorry I didn't see how bad it really was sooner” he apologised.

“You weren't to know. She said those things out of earshot from everyone else, better to beat me down with no witnesses and all that. And anyway, Shane weren't your fault and neither is Lori, that's all on them. So, no more fucking apologising for either of their bullshit or for the things you might not notice sometimes, Capisce?”

 

 

We had just got back into the truck when Rick looked over at me, something obviously weighing on his mind.

“And thank you for not bringing up... _Shane_ ” he said quietly, grimacing on his name.

“ **You're** the reason I didn't. Felt like I was rubbing salt in _your_ wound too by saying something about him, even if she did deserve it when she started insinuating I was the town bicycle or something. Wasn't going to start that subject, cos' I knew it would hurt you too and I wanted to keep you as a friend after my breakfast reprimand had finished”

 

 

“You aren't all weird about sleeping next to me last night? I know it wasn't meant to happen like that. Was worried ya freaked out this morning when you slipped out before I woke up” Rick said doubtfully as he placed the bag he was carrying on the back seat.

“Well it was kinda weird waking up in _your_ bed, just as long as Daryl wasn't getting the wrong idea, then I'm good. I didn't mean to fall asleep myself, but was just so damn tired...And shit, if I was suddenly going to turn _slut_ then I would have had a heart and screwed you in another room at least. Doing it across from Daryl is pretty fucking low” I said shaking my head. I couldn't imagine myself doing something like that to begin with, even before Daryl came along.

“You saying I had a chance?” he joked.

“Yeah, sure Rick” I said sarcastically.

“And here I was being the nice guy all comforting” he scoffed.

“Seriously though, you were. Not sure I would have slept very well on my own last night. Think I would have spent the whole night pacing or if I did manage to get some sleep, would have ended up in a nightmare...which surprised me that I still managed to get through the night without one” I mused more to myself than Rick.

“You're still getting them?” he asked.

“Haven't had any for a few days but that doesn't mean a whole lot, they're bound to worm their way back” I shuddered.

“How bad do they get?” he questioned and I could hear the concern in his voice.

“You really wanna know?” I said looking over to him and giving him a knowing look.

“Guess that answers that...Ya know you can talk to me about them. I might not have the answers but I can at least listen...One good I _was_ good at in my marriage was listening” he said bitterly.

“Talking about it just makes it worse sometimes...but thanks Rick, means a lot that you'll even listen” I said forcing a smile to appear.

He smiled in return. “C'mon let’s get this stuff back. Get Hershel to look over what we bought back” he said as his eyes swept over the street again. His nerves seemingly a bit frazzled after yesterday and I don't blame him, mine still were.

 

 

Arriving back at the fire-station, Glenn ushered us inside, closing the door behind us as Rick drove in. As soon as we were parked Rick took our haul to Hershel, where as I unpacked a few things from the truck, just on the off chance someone jacked it or tried to, the less they took the better. I still had a few tricks up my sleeve to slow them down if they tried.

I left my backpack and bow in the back seat and carried the few other things I had emptied carrying them over to the table by the door. I decided I'd check on Daryl before I went hunting this afternoon. I wasn't going to inform him of my activities for the afternoon, knowing he would be against it, as I'm sure Rick will be when I tell him where I'm off to. I had forgone telling him while we were on the run at the pharmacy as he would have tried to stop me or talk me out of it. He'd know, but not until I had a foot out the door, _well almost._

 

 

Glenn was still in the garage, watching me as I unloaded a few things, and went about checking the gas and the oil.

“Hey...” Glenn said in a quiet voice, “You alright?” he asked.

“Yeah” I sighed, wiping my hand on a semi-clean rag, “Just sick of all the bullshit.”

“That was like watching Jerry Springer earlier, except no one got forcibly removed” Glenn said, and almost sounding sad about no one being removed. _Well the day isn't over yet,_ I thought to myself. Although I doubted Lori would come after me again today. I hoped it had scared her off me, at least for the day.

“Oh, you mean that episode “ _My husband is cheating on me with his lieutenant's girlfriend and I'm pregnant with another man's baby”..._ does that sound like actual episode?” I laughed.

“Possibly. It was still entertaining as hell to watch” Glenn grinned. “Weren't they both deputies?” he asked.

I chuckled. “Yeah, but Daryl is meant to be the lieutenant, duh” I said like it was supposed to be obvious. “You know what I meant anyway” I said rolling my eyes.

“C'mon let's go upstairs, I think Beth is cooking lunch today” Glenn said as he started walking towards the door.

“Well that's a change” I muttered to myself as I followed after him.

 

 

We were just about to head up the stairs when Carol blocked our path, arms folded across her chest and looking at me. _I guess round two was coming faster today than I expected._

Glenn looked between the both of us, and froze slightly when Carol gave him a look and then nodded her head towards the stairs. Glenn looked back at me, unsure whether he should stay.

“I'll be fine Glenn, be up soon” I said trying smile. He gave me one last look before he started climbing the stairs, very slowly.

 

Now as I looked at Carol she stood in front of me with a different look on her face this time. Different to how she's been looking at me recently. All the contempt and anger seems to have gone, for once she looks a little ashamed. _Hell has just frozen over._

She waited till Glenn was out of earshot before she started talking. “I wanted to come talk to you the other day, I came to find you but...” she trailed off.

“But walkers were about stroll on through the door downstairs” I quipped.

“Yeah. Look, I know my _behaviour_ towards you lately has been...unacceptable. I want to apologise...”

I cut her off. “You...want to apologise?” I asked surprised, feeling more than sceptical about this. I wasn't sure if this was another ploy cooked up by Lori and her, all so they could break me down all over again.

“Yes. I know you probably don't believe me and I don't blame you in the slightest for not...Look after what happened over the past few days, first with the door being open downstairs, then the Daryl and Glenn getting hurt... and then this morning. I need to make amends for the damage I caused.”

“I honestly don't know what you can say to make this better Carol. Do you know how many times I thought about just leaving in the past two weeks I've been back? I thought _this_ was my family, I thought everyone _did_ care about me. I know the shit I had to do to escape that place was drastic and it’s not something I'm proud of but it was necessary if I were to come back or if nothing else, survive. I tried to escape twice before that, the first time they drugged me and I woke up tied up in a basement, the second time they beat me, chained me up for three days. I did the fucking world a favour by making sure they couldn't hurt anyone else, so no one else would have to go through what I went through.” My voice was starting to raise by the end of it, and I was blinking back tears, all the old wounds starting to come to the surface again. This was going to cause havoc with my sleep tonight.

 

She was silent for a minute, taking in everything I said, her facial expression changing several times. “I didn't understand and probably some part of me never will understand what you went through...” she sighed. “I can't excuse what I said or did but I was jealous of how Daryl forgot about me and went straight back to you” she pouted, folding her arms across her chest.

“You know that isn't how that happened. Did it slip your mind when he was angry at me as soon as I came back? You had him all to yourself then...And I heard you planting seeds of doubt in his head last week, so don't try act like this is all my fault.”

“I wasn't...I never...” she stuttered.

I cut her off, trying to keep my voice calm. “I heard you Carol. I heard you talking to him in the room you were sharing with him at the farm, questioning why I was back, if I seemed different, if I could be trusted.” I watched as she swallowed nervously, remembering the conversation she'd had with Daryl. “I said to you, _if_ things had developed between you two I would step aside. And so I stopped pursuing him or thinking of pursuing him, trying to stay out of his way, even after you said nothing was goin' on because I thought he was done with me. **But** he came to me and he told you plain as day the other night he wasn't regretting it. And I swear to Christ if you mutter something about me being a slut you won't like the consequences. It's not a threat but I'm sick of being hounded by both you and Lori. It's no better than immature high-school bullshit.” I sighed heavily. The conversation, _and I use that term lightly_ , was draining. This felt very similar to the conversation I'd had with Lori this morning.

“He would have forgotten about you if you'd stayed away a month or two longer” she muttered bitterly. _So much for her trying to mend fences._

“You might be right but I'm back. I said it to Lori yesterday and I'm saying it to you now, I'm not going anywhere. So stop playing games. I know you're better than that. I remember the time back at Hershel's farm when you rubbed my back and sat with me so I wouldn't be alone after Shane attacked me. _She_ was someone I respected and liked. This new version of yourself...” I shook my head disapprovingly. “I'm not saying this is all on you, because it’s not, I know there are some things I'm at fault for too but it still no reason to treat me as you did. Look I can't promise I'm going to forgive you but start treating me like an actual person and possibly we can start over again” I sighed heavily. This conversation was just the icing on the cake for an emotional shit day. _Just another reason why I needed some time-out._

 

“I want to try. I do. As much as I trust Lori, this must stop. Its getting out of hand, and if it caused you to leave, it would tear the group up” she said simply.

I was a little shocked at her statement, she had admitted Lori has gone slightly off the reservation. It would have been more satisfying if she'd said she was bat-shit crazy but I'll take what I can get currently. And I would have questioned her sudden hesitation lately, first with my gun, then Lori this morning but after her last statement it seemed self-explanatory.

 

“Are we done?” I ask, no emotion in my voice. She nodded her head. Carol stood where she was and I moved to go around her, just as I passed I stopped, “Thanks for apologising” I said as I continued my way upstairs.

 

Glenn had been waiting, a nervous look on his face when I appeared. I gave him a quick smile and carried on towards Daryl's room. I pushed aside all thoughts about Carol, I could deal with that later. I had hopefully far more positive things to concentrate on.

 

Lori chose this inopportune moment to walk into the room, blanching as she saw me. _Oh, hello smugness._ She immediately cast her eyes downward and carried on with the chore she was starting. I guess some of what I'd said had sunk in. I hoped, really hoped, it was enough to get her to back off. I wasn't counting her out though just yet. She's been knocked back this morning by my assertive attitude, something she wasn't expecting. So sooner or later she'd have another go, because she's not the type of person to just let this go.

 

 

Walking into Daryl and Rick's room, I noticed he was dozing by the look of it. I was teetering on whether I should let him sleep, I still hadn't gotten a chance to speak to him since before he went to scout the house yesterday. And I wanted to check on him before I headed out again.

 

“Ya know if ya were in bed with anyone else...” his raspy voice cutting through the silence that was filling the room previously, my head snapping up to the sound of his voice, a grin splitting across my face. _Well that made my decision on whether to let him sleep or not._

“You make it sound like I was rolling around naked with Rick” I said quirking my eyebrow at him.

“Not what I meant” he scoffed.

“Good. I'd at least be courteous and screw Rick in another room...kidding” I said shaking my head. “I know bad joke” I sighed.

“Very bad” he grumbled. _Damn me and my bad jokes. It sounded funny in my head...right up until it came out of my mouth. Fucking idiot._ I could see his mood souring ever so slightly. _Really big fucking idiot._

“I...I...ya know I wouldn't do that to ya right?” I said stumbling over my words, suddenly feeling anxious and almost guilty with the look he was giving me. _And here I was chickening out to what I could have said to him, I don't know if I'm ready to admit it and he definitely isn't ready to hear it._

He held my gaze for a few seconds before giving me a short nod, still not saying anything. His silence was sometimes deafening, it drove me crazy. I stood there bouncing from one foot to another, my eyes flicking nervously towards the door a few times, wondering if it were better if I just bolted.

 

“Come the fuck over 'ere” he growled from his bed, rolling his eyes at me, his arm stretched out towards me, a bandage wrapped around his forearm where I knew was a stitched-up gash hidden. I sat on Rick's bed looking over to him hesitantly, wanting to be mindful of his current injuries but also wanting to feel his warmth next to me. I had waited all night for this moment but my weariness of his injuries was holding me back. I know he wasn't made of glass and he was going to be more pissed about being treated as an invalid. But this wasn't just his choice to make, no matter how much he was going to protest.

“Don't wanna hurt ya” I mumbled.

“Ya won't” he said before sighing when I didn't make a move towards him, “Now don' make me go all _Mr Dixon_ on ya” he smirked.

I chuckled. “Well _Mr Dixon_ isn't it time for your sponge bath?” I said in my most innocent voice.

“That's more like it” his lip twitching, his hand reaching out for me again. I relented and sat gingerly on the edge on his bed down by his feet, trying to take up as little room as possible and trying to steer clear of his injuries, much to his dismay. His reaction to where I positioned myself looked to be a bit confused. “Not gonna ask twice” he said giving his invitation again. “ 'fraid 'm gonna bite ya or somethin'?” he huffed. I decided against my better judgement to move forward, scooting further down the bed till I was close enough for him to reach my hand, his lips twitching as he squeezed it slightly.

“Just weary after yesterday...You scared the shit out of me yesterday when I found you...thought for a minute you were...but then you called out for your brother...then passed out again” I said looking down at his hand and mine.

“ 'm fine though. Doc says I'll just need ta rest” he snorted.

“That was my reaction too. Almost suggested we handcuff ya to the bed, because damned if you're going to stay in bed when told to” I chuckled.

“No one's usin' handcuffs on me, much rather they be on you...all tied up, beggin'...” he smirked.

“Nonononono” I muttered hurriedly more to myself and blanched, quickly withdrawing my hand from his and starting to scoot back off the bed. Daryl's eyes tracking my movement, and reached out for my hand again, gripping it tight enough so I would stop moving away from him. I heard him wince as he struggled to keep me where I was, but I was too far gone in my own panic attack to register I was aggravating his injuries. With his hand gripping mine my body froze. My breath was coming out in short sharp bursts making it harder for me to breathe as nightmares start flash forward in my mind. _Triggers._

 

Luke's voice in my head froze everything around me, the terror I hadn't felt in at least a few days had returned, drowning me in buckets of fear.

 

_“Look at you...so pretty all tied up” Luke's voice sounded from above me._

_I had refused to look up at him, acknowledging he was there. It hadn't done me any good, I'd received two hard kicks to the ribs and I was sure I heard something crack on the last kick. It didn't matter though if I responded or not, he was still going to have his fun, he just liked it better when I showed emotion. Well fuck him and his emotion._

_“Bet you were one of those girls in bed too, all kinky wanting to be tied up, wanting someone to dominate over you” he wondered. I had still yet to respond. And he wasn't going to get one if I had a say in it._

_My jaw was forcibly manhandled till I was looking directly at Luke, hate burning in my eyes, right behind the tears that were threatening to fall because of the pain and the fear. Luke was kneeling in front of me, his steely eyes focused on me._

_“Oh well if you weren't before, you will be now. My compliant little slut, begging to be tied up, begging to be fucked” he grinned._

_“Don't you ever shut the fuck up?” I groaned, ignoring the slut comment but commented out of habit. My mouth seeming to get away from me before I could stop myself. I visibly swallowed, knowing the outcome to follow._

_Luke didn't take this comment too well as the last thing I remember was his fist coming towards my face. Blackness overcoming me, swallowing me._

 

Blinking my eyes, I focused looking to Daryl, his face etched with concern and a little bit of confusion as well. “Reminds me of being in that basement. Reminds me of things I _need_ to forget” I explained, my breathing starting to return at a more normal pace.

Daryl nodded, “ 'k no handcuffs” he said in a slow soothing voice. I tried to shake off his hand again only to have him grip it again, he didn't try pull me back which I was thankful for, I'm sure that would have increased my anxiety ten-fold again. He started to rub the back of my hand with his thumb, trying to soothe me the best he could. I wasn't exactly wanting to talk about it and neither was he really, I think it bought back guilt for him, but it was never his fault to begin with. I wish he would realise that.

“Sorry I...freaked out” I said shaking my head.

“Ain't gotta apologise” he said quietly.

Silence fell between us and I tried to awkwardly break it. “So...how are you feeling?” I ask.

“Really that's what yer' gonna ask me” he said flatly.

“Legitimate question” I mumbled.

“Told ya 'm fine woman” he said rolling his eyes.

I snorted. “You ever gonna call me by my actual name?” I glance up to him and raise an eyebrow to further emphasize my question. He just smirked at me. _Honestly half the time I'm convinced he'd forgotten my name. Maybe he did suffer some amnesia._

 

“So ya snuck out this mornin' an' didn't even thank Rick?” Daryl teased trying to lighten the mood again.

“Stop” I huffed. “I fell asleep, then later so did he. Just be glad he wasn't playing big spoon.”

“Yeah would'a been awkward” he grinned.

I sighed. “Not to mention Lori wasn't exactly happy.”

“Bet she weren't...Heard 'bout yer' screamin' match this mornin', surprised it didn't wake me from what I've heard” he said quietly.

“Yeah...well it’s been a long time coming. Couldn't sit back and take the abuse any longer. I either stood up for myself or I walked away for good. And told ya I wasn't going anywhere so it only left me with one option...And it’s about time she got knocked off that pedestal she's been perched on for so long, granted she put herself there but she needed a dose of reality” I said angrily shaking my head.

“So ya played the Shane card?” he asked.

I shook my head. “Nah, could have...should have for some of what she said...but couldn't do that to Rick. It would be like throwing it in his face too, I respect him too much to do that. He's been a good friend...more so since I've been back...Oh and I should probably warn you she'll probably come by, if she hasn't already, as I'm sure she wants to inform you of how _I'm screwing her husband_.” I sighed heavily and rolling my eyes.

“She already came by but said nothin' 'bout ya or Rick. Guess she's stayin' out of it fer' now” he shrugged.

“Huh” I said surprised, “Hell must have frozen over” I smirked.

Daryl smiled, then yawned. I could see now his features fighting back the tiredness he was feeling. His body still trying to recover. He stretched awkwardly.

“I should probably let you get some more sleep” I said pulling my hand from his.

“Nah 'm good” he said yawning again.

I stood to leave. _Nope that was hardly convincing. And unfortunately, he's a tad too injured to prove to me otherwise. Damnit._

“I call bullshit. I'll be back later, bring you some dinner” I said walking to the door. And with my hand on the door handle, he gives me his Dixon reply.

“An' don' f'get my sponge bath” And I can practically hear the smirk in his voice without having to look over my shoulder. I just shook my head, chuckling to myself and walked out the door. I closed it quietly behind me and headed for the kitchen.

 

 

Rick and Hershel were at one of the tables hunched over a map, talking amongst themselves. Beth was in the kitchen, fixing lunch. She smiled as I walked towards her, she grabbed a bowl and spooned some of the contents in the bowl before handing it to me.

“How's he doin'?” she asked.

“Tired but ok. He's just dropped back off to sleep now”

“I'll make him a plate for later” she smiled.

 

Beth made idle conversation while I ate. I wasn't responding very much but she was happy to talk away regardless. It’s not that I didn't appreciate her trying to distract me from my current worries but my head was so full and I couldn't pretend to hold a conversation. Beth knew this and I knew by her smiles she never took offence, this was maybe her way of coping as well.

 

 

I thanked Beth for lunch and walked over to Rick and Hershel, I needed to get this done, so I could try and sort my head out. Neither were going to be happy about this trip. But unfortunately, this wasn't about them.

“I'm going hunting” I said as Rick and Hershel looked over a map on the table, the contents of our haul still on the table too. Both pausing, Rick's head snapping over to mine. “I ain't asking.”

“You think it's...” Rick started before I cut him off. Hershel glancing between the both of us.

“When is it ever safe? I get it, you care but if it were Daryl wanting to go hunting instead, you wouldn't even blink an eye him going alone” I said folding my arms across my chest and giving him a knowing look.

“She's got a point there” Hershel said. I saw Rick twitch infinitesimally at the comment.

“Just after what happened the other day, with Daryl, with Glenn, I'm worried about letting you go alone” Rick said concerned.

“Let?” I said raising my eyebrow. “Rick, I love you but I'm going hunting.”

“You think Daryl would be happy you're going?” he asked narrowing his eyes. _Ah, his final card to play. Knew he'd try and guilt me to stay. Love the man for trying but the guilt trip ain't working. Not today._

I smirked. “Of course, he'd be pissed. But he isn't my keeper. And neither are you. We're running low on food as it is. And now with Daryl injured we still need someone hunting. I'll be careful and back as soon as I can. Look I need this, just some time to get my head on straight for the rest of the day, it’s been a long day with a lot happening. I'm coming back alright” I sighed, placing my hands on my hips. I knew the points I'd given were all very legitimate and hard for Rick to argue with, and that probably frustrated him more. _Yes, the smugness is returning, albeit for an entirely different reason._

“You better” he growled, then throwing his hands up in the air with a big sigh.

“Try keep him from pacing around all afternoon” I called to Hershel as I started towards the stairs. I could hear footsteps following me and didn't have to turn around to know who was following me.

 

 

“I'll be going a few miles out of town, probably somewhere near where we had the group stop when we stormed the fire-station. Looked dense enough that it could hold some game” I glanced over to Rick to see he already had his anxious face on. “I'll be fine Rick. Seriously. This isn't my first hunt alone, remember?”

“I know...Just don't put me in the dog box by not coming back” he pouted.

“I'll be back before you know it”

“Any sign of trouble and I mean **any** , you turn around and come back home. Don't make unnecessary risks alright?” he sighed.

“Yes dad” I smiled before getting into my truck. I gave Rick a wave as I drove out the garage door and then started driving towards the edge of town.

 

 

I parked the truck once I reached the clearing, backing it into the brush slightly, keeping it out of sight at least till I returned. And I did what I normally did when I was out on my own for those two months, pull the spark plugs, so nobody could steal it and keep a water bottle filled with gas in my backpack just in case some bastard decided to tap the gas tank as well. I'd only once come back to find that someone had tried to break into the truck, but had been scared off, that and the two dead walkers near the passenger door were a bit of a giveaway. Whoever it was had been chased off, nothing had been stolen at the time luckily.

 

I grabbed my bag, bow and quiver from the back seat. I already had a knife in my boot and my handgun in my holster from earlier. I'd also packed a few things just in case I came across a river, as cold as it would be, the prospect of getting semi-clean would out-weigh the coldness.

 

 

My shoulder was still feeling tight and sore and it was proving a challenge to get a decent shot in, I'd missed three squirrels and a rabbit so far. And it was pissing me off to no end. I knew deep down it was going to take a while to get back into the swing of things, plus with the mountain of injuries I currently have or have had previously are playing a big factor in all this. I was confident that _if_ I had no injuries, I'd be able to shoot straight and nail the fuckers right between the eyes. But instead it was amateur hour.

 

 

Slowly as the hour moved on, my anger started to dissipate as I worked out my limitations. Using my shoulder was helping as well, sure it was still sore but the tightness I had been feeling was easing. I knew _some_ good would come out of this, even if it was only to get a workout for my shoulder.

But I would like to go back with something to show for it since I made such a big deal about coming out here. Although if I came back empty-handed, not many people would scoff about it, more so after breakfast this morning. And sometimes you just can't any game in the woods. _And sometimes you're too distracted by all the other shit going on in your head you find it too hard to concentrate...or there just isn't any game....yeah, no game, that's it..._ I mused to myself.

 

 

My confidence had grown ever so slightly, now that I had two rabbits strapped to my belt. The dead carcasses bouncing slightly off my leg with each step, making me smile with glee. So now the hunting trip wasn't a complete waste and I could finally try get my head around a few things. _Lori. Carol. Daryl. The two tests buried at the bottom of my bag. My nightmares._ It wasn't a very long list of what was bothering me and most people would be able to guess at least three out of the five, the last two a little more difficult.

I wish it could be as simple as spending an afternoon in the woods but I'd be lucky if I could knock one of them off the list today. But it wasn't going to stop me from trying to work it out.

The tests, well they weren't going to have an answer for at least another week or so, so that one was shoved down to the bottom of the pile. With Lori, I said what I needed to this morning and I had witnesses, an audience sounds more...sacrificial. All I could do was wait and see what she did next and this time not let it get the better of me. I needed to stay strong against her or else she'd beat me down again and I'd be back at square one. Carol, I was still a little confused on where she stood, at first, she was firmly in Lori's corner but now...she's hesitating, a lot. She had apologised today but I'm not overly inclined to believe what she says is the truth, time would also only tell with her. The nightmares, fell back into the same category, time was only going to heal those wounds, and probably linked in with Daryl, healing my _relationship_ with him would in turn hopefully help heal some of the damage caused by Camp Nazi. And with Daryl, I think we're moving more in a positive direction, sure more talking needs to be done, _which he'll grizzle about,_ but if we don't, whatever we have will die. And I ain't ready to give up on him. Although the advantage of having him laid up currently, is he's less likely to run away when I start a conversation with him, as evidence of this morning. Not that he was overly resistant to conversing, so maybe he wouldn't grizzle too much about it.

 

Even if I were only compartmentalizing everything, some of the weight had been lifted. For what little sanity I have left, I needed this today.

 

 

After following several trails and coming up empty, I had followed one trail for about a mile before I came across a stream and a small pool nestled in amongst a rock outcropping, water cascading into the pool. It would be cold, there was no doubt about that, but I couldn't pass up the offer to take a quick dip and freshen up, hopefully taking off a layer of dirt while I was at it.

 

As I was undressing I noticed I still had finger shaped bruises on my either side of my hips from Daryl's greedy effort, I couldn't help but smile at the spots on my hips. _These_ kinds of bruises I didn't mind in the slightest, only of course if they were given by Daryl.

I placed my knife on a rock, just by the water's edge and quickly dove in, soap in hand. The water was freezing so I knew I needed to make this quick and get dressed again. And no one was out here watching my back, so that was just another reason not to fuck around. I washed every inch of myself including my hair, which was getting far too greasy for my liking but nowadays I couldn't exactly complain, showers or baths weren't all that easy to come by and when you did, they were pretty cold. I wondered to myself how much effort it would take to get the showers working at the fire-station, surely someone knows a thing or two about plumbing and hot water?

I wasn't watching what I was washing, my eyes constantly out on the surrounding woods as I scrubbed. Nothing was stirring so that was a good sign. But I wasn't about to push my luck so washing off any remnants of soap and dirt I got out, fishing out the small towel from my bag and drying quickly.

Getting to clean up a bit, seemed to help my head slightly. I can’t exactly explain why, but it just seemed to improve my mood. And I certainly wasn't about to complain about that. I started on loop back towards where I'd parked the truck, trying my luck for the last time today for anymore game.

 

 

Coming through the trees something felt off. I paused in my tracks stopping to listen to my surroundings. Nothing other than the normal sounds of the woods, wind rustling up the autumn leaves, birds chirping further off in the distance, it didn't seem out of the ordinary. But nowadays, normal always sounds like the precursor to when bad things happen.

I hated when my gut instinct told me to run the other way and I completely ignored it. _I suppose that plays right into my reckless attitude._ And here I was trudging further into the lion's den.

 

I decided to carry on cautiously, slowly pushing forward through the trees, pausing every minute or so and taking in my surroundings. I was trying to be hyper-aware, I didn't want to break my promise to Rick, not that I had outright promised him but all the same I wanted to prove a point that I could do this on my own.

 

 

It looked like a camp up ahead through the trees, the flash of blue and orange coloured tarps flapping about in the breeze. It wasn't much to go on because of the distance I was from the possible camp. But tarps in the woods made it seem like the obvious choice for a make-shift camp. I couldn't hear much from up ahead other than the sound of the tarps. _It must be an abandoned camp._ I took another look around the area and moved closer to the camp, I saddled up next to a large tree and scanned the area for activity. I was feeling weary approaching another camp, whether it seemed abandoned or not. I wanted to keep my risk to a minimum, knowing I had all but promised Rick I'd be fine. I was staying on the cautious side for once.

The area was clear of at least walkers, critters for that matter too. The lack of wildlife near this camp didn't exactly bode well with me and I should probably prepare myself for worst case scenario. _Well one of the many worst case scenario's we face nowadays._ What I could see were five bodies strewn about the camp-site. And from what I could tell from this distance they didn't look to be alive. This was not what I was expecting when I decided to go hunting today. _Although I wasn't sure in what hunting situation this would be something you would come to expect. Maybe I should expect it nowadays, with how the state of the world is currently._

 

 _Why wasn't I listening to the voice in my head screaming at me to turn tail and run the fuck away from here?_ I really hated my need to see things through sometimes. I **should** have left, I **shouldn't** be stepping further into the camp.

 

The sight was gruesome to say the least. And instantly I could tell this wasn't a walker attack, otherwise I would have noticed the stampede-like trail moving through the camp or walkers eating what was left, because there was no way they would leave this much _food_ around. Probably the most telling sign were the bullet wound right to the head of each of the victims, all but one, an older man. Why he hadn't got a bullet I wasn't sure, my guess was he was made to watch while whoever executed the rest of his group. That thought sickened me and it bought back unpleasant memories about how my family came so close to that fate. That thought too making me shudder.

 

I took the knife from my boot, and knelt beside the man. Good or bad, whatever he did to deserve this fate, one less walker in the world ain't a bad thing. I raised my knife, ready to end it when the man spoke, startling me.

“Luuukee” he croaked out. And I froze, I'm sure all the blood left my face. That one name sending me back three months. Fear and panic starting to claw its way into me. I stood quickly, clutching the knife tightly, watching the man die slowly, his breathing getting more shallow, his eyes still fixed on mine, fear and pain showing in his eyes. It was hard to believe he was still alive with the injuries he had, bruises and gashes covering his face and arms, dark red patches covering the clothing he was wearing at several points on his body and blood pooling beneath him.

I watched as the light left his eyes, still fixed on me, his chest stilling. But my breathing was getting worse and I was having a hard time trying to concentrate, trying to tell myself to get out of there. Only I was rooted to the spot, my body not willing to move.

 

My head whipped around camp, searching for signs of the killer. Paranoia crashing over me in huge waves. I was alone in the woods, in the middle of a camp massacre having a serious case of PTSD, no one was around, no one was here to help. I was alone. And for the first time today I wished Rick had instead forbid me to go hunting today or insisted he come with me. I didn't want to be out here anymore, this was the nail in the coffin for today. _Quite possibly mine too,_ I grimaced.

 

 _Luke...Luke...Luke_. I was repeating his name over and over in my head. It was starting to swirl in my head, starting to blur my vision. _Luke...this can't be happening...Luke...he can't be alive...he's not alive._ The monologue getting more intense. I tried to slow my breathing, tried to keep convincing myself he was dead and I was overreacting. The panic was hitting its high point. My vision swaying, along with my body. I could see the ground getting closer. _Shit. This can't happen. Not now. Not while I'm alone. Now while the man could still turn. Shit. No. No. No. No...._

And just like that blackness consumed me.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know you'll probably hate me for this cliffhanger. It wasn't intended, it just kinda happened lol. I can just see the comments now. I'm sorry I swear....  
> And yes please a scene about Daryl getting a sponge bath, I could certainly get behind that. The man could use a bath now and again lol.  
> Poor Camille having some PTSD this chapter. I hope the way I write her panic comes off right.  
> Anyone think Carol has finally seen the light? Or do you think its another game her and Lori are playing?  
> Thanks for reading everyone, love to hear what you think as usual!


	45. The Distance

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know there was a bit of a wait for this chapter and I apologise for leaving you guys on that cliffhanger (I honestly expected more hate mail, thankfully you were all most kind and just hoped I updated sooner rather than later. Sorry for the wait!). So life has kinda gotten in the way, hence the wait. Can't choose your family, right? And Daryl was just not co-operating towards the end of this chapter, think I whipped him into shape.  
> This chapter's a little shorter than normal I know but it still has enough length I reckon.  
> And from what I have worked out with storyline etc. there are 2 more chapters to go after this one and this part of the series will be finished. I will be starting a part that carry on into the Season 3 arc (with some twists). So be on the look out for _'The Dangers of Being Incarcerated'_ when this part ends. Will post note again as a reminder on last chapter. I'm looking forward to starting that arc soon.  
>  One more note title for this chapter is from Cake. Was stumped for a title and this song came on my itunes, the words kinda fit I reckon. Shuffle sometimes gives epiphanies! Who knew...  
> And I now have Tumblr, check end notes :)  
> And here I am rambling again.  
> As always. Enjoy! xxx

**_Three months ago..._ **

 

 

Darkness? _What...?_ No, there were wooden beams coming into focus above me. _Why? What the...hell...happened?_ I was blinking trying to adjust my eyes, slightly confused as to why I was looking up at the darkened ceiling with Chris hovering over me.

“Camille?...Holy shit! Are you alright?” Chris said checking me over, concern flooding his eyes.

“ 'm fine” I winced, the fall aggravating my relatively new injuries.

“You freaked the shit out of me!” he said slightly panicked, still checking me over for _fresh_ injuries.

“ 'm sorry” I mumbled.

“So...what happened? You just freaked, froze and then passed out?”

“Passed out?” I questioned, “I...I dunno” I sighed, rubbing my hands over my eyes. “I thought...felt like I was back in the basement again...with Luke...heard him in my head, I think” I shuddered.

“Oh” he said a little unsure.

 

Silence hung between us as I started to sit up, Chris moving cautiously in front of me, hesitating to reach out like he about to several times. I didn't understand why he was so hesitant at first, until I remembered why I had woken up on the ground in the first place. I can't believe I had passed out...no wait, it was more than that. It was a panic attack. _Anxiety bought on by triggers._ I guess Camp Nazi had affected me more than I thought it had. _God I felt like such an idiot, to think this wasn't going to affect me after everything I went through. Fucking. Idiot._

 

“I know it’s not real, that he's not real. I know he's dead. I put a damn knife through his skull to make sure that it wouldn't happen. But...it...just felt like...”

“Guess we're both a little fucked up after that place” he said solemnly.

“Yeah but it ain't our fault” I said sternly. _God, aren't we just a pair of regular POW's,_ I thought wryly to myself.

“No but we're paying the price” he said finally reaching for my hand and squeezing it. “C'mon let's get this done” he said forcing a smile on his face.

 

 

It wasn't until after we'd finished clearing the store and were walking back to the truck when Chris bought it up again.

“See, now I'm just don't wanna leave ya, don't want ya goin' backwards...like I'm leaving you when you need me the most...”

“You're not abandoning me if that's what you're thinking, cos' it ain't like that and you know it. It was just a small panic attack, probably residual aftershocks from the other night” I said trying to convince both Chris and myself. I'd never had panic attacks before, well maybe once after the Shane incident but nowhere near as bad as that just was. I hoped to high hell this wasn't going to be a reoccurring thing because quite frankly this could fuck up everything. And it had nothing to do with Chris leaving in a few days, we both knew why he had to, it was the exact same reason why I wasn't going along with him.

Deep down though I knew it wasn't some residual thing left over, it was going to take time to heal, both mentally and physically and if Chris caught on to that he wouldn't go find his family. I didn't want to be the reason why he resented not being able to find them. I wasn't going to hold him back, even if my mental health was at stake. He deserved to go find his family after all he went through, even though his experience was different to mine, I know there were some bad things he had witnessed while in the custody of Camp Nazi.

 

“Ya know I worry about you, you may not be _my girl_ but I worry alright?” he said smirking a little as he put his arm around my shoulder carefully, being mindful of my injuries.

“I know and I worry about you all the same. But I'm fine, I will be. We both made it out of that death trap of a camp, so we're gonna be fine, alright?” I said bumping my shoulder into his side, making him wince.

“Easy, you're not the only one injured...” he abruptly stopped walking, effectively making me stop as well, I looked over to him to his face covered in sadness and he turned to me and hugged me tight, still avoiding most of my injuries. “Just...just don't do that again...was so scared...can't lose you too, not like that” his muffled voice against my neck. I hugged him back too, not as tight as he was holding me but enough to make him squeeze me a little harder. I could feel his body shaking slightly as he cried quietly into my shoulder.

 

We stood like that for a while before he pulled back, hanging his head low, trying to be covert about the moisture on his cheeks. And I wasn't going to bring attention to it either.

“Don't go all cute puppy dog on me” I frowned for a second before a smirk came through, effectively making him smile back. He wiped the moisture from his eyes.

“Would it work if I asked you to come to Louisiana again?” his smile increasing.

“Of course, that's why I told you to stop it. Now be a good puppy dog and behave” I said narrowing my eyes.

“Yes mistress” he laughed. I arched an eyebrow at him. “What?” he asked innocently. I just shook my head. He placed his arm back round my shoulder as we walked to the truck. “You're soooo gonna miss me.”

“Yeah I always wanted a puppy” I chuckled before he kissed my forehead and let me go.

 

 

I'd had two more panic attacks before he left, both of which was when I was on my own, once during the night when Chris was on watch and the other when I went to go collect firewood. Neither of them as severe as this afternoon but panic attacks all the same. Something I would have to get used to I figured, not that I had intentionally caused them. I also never told Chris about them, fearing he would give up on trying to find his family to stay and look after me, I didn't need that guilt weighing on me as well. I felt like an asshole for keeping it from him but I was just trying to look out for him and his interests. And I didn't pass out from the two most recent either, which was something more positive.

 

 

 

**_Now..._ **

 

 

_“Camillie? Gotta get up now sweetie” his voice cooed above me._

“Dad?” _No this can't be right._ “It’s too early...” I said groggily.

 _“Was she always this lazy?” Chris chuckled._ Chris? What the...?

_“Always...near had to drag her out of bed to get to school in the morning” Dad said chuckling with Chris._

_“C'mon can't lie around all day, you got people waiting for ya, gotta get back to Daryl” he said and I could hear the smile in his voice._

That was when my eyes snapped open. Not at the mention of Daryl but hearing my dad's voice plain as day. _Dad..._ And then there was Chris. This didn't make any sense.

Bright blue cloudy sky above me. _What the fuck?_ The sounds of a bird chirping somewhere far off. _How did I...? Deja-fucking-vu..._ I blinked twice trying to work out why I was looking at the sky and the surrounding canopy of trees. I bought my hands up in front of my eyes. _No blood, well that's a good sign._ This position felt extremely familiar. But this time I felt no pain. _An even better sign_. I rubbed my hands over my eyes, images flashed before my eyes and I remembered why I was lying on the ground. I'd had another god damned panic attack. I was never going to be allowed outside on my own again. Rick and Daryl both were going to go ballistic over this. _Like this is my fault? Like I purposefully caused this? Ok so maybe they wouldn't think I caused it, but they would definitely think I was being reckless. Or coddle me like a damn baby. I hated both options._

 

The remnants of my dad's voice still lingering in my head. _Gotta get up now.._

 

I heard the garbled groaning a few feet away from me. _Shit the old man._ Reality coming screaming back to me. I needed to get up and end what used to be the old man. If I hadn't been so freaked out before I had my panic attack I would have stopped him from turning. I don't know why my mind wants to make me feel guilty but here I was feeling guilty I couldn't end his suffering.

 

 

I pushed myself up off the ground, still feeling the effects of my grogginess. My vision losing focus for a few seconds before it started righting itself, everything becoming clear again. I could see _his_ body starting to stir by the looks of it, I needed to end this. His fingers started twitching, starting to become more aware of his surroundings and more than likely me. I swallowed back the fear starting to bubble forth. I still amazingly had the knife gripped in my hand and frankly it was a miracle I hadn't sliced myself open. _Well I was sure I hadn't, I felt no pain and no blood was on the blade. I'm starting to work myself up, when I should really be focussing on the dead thing attempting to rise a few feet away._

 

Reaffirming my grip on the knife I took the two steps over to the old man, his eyes now dead, the life that had flickered before was dead and buried. Placing my boot over his throat I effectively held him in place, at least before his _consciousness_ fully awakened him. He limply reached for the toe of my boot, blindly trying to get a grip. Tightening my jaw and drumming my fingers over the grip of the knife I knelt on my other knee and quickly plunged the blade through the eye socket, knowing my blade would just get stuck in the bone if I tried to go through the skull, fresh kills were always the hardest. _Might have saved my knife the other day if I'd followed that bit of advice._

 

Pulling the knife free, I tried to concentrate on the sounds of the woods instead of the horrible squelching noise. It never failed to make me grimace every damn time. One day that sound was going to make me barf on one of these things, _not that it would care._ I wiped the blade clean on the grass beside the old man...walker...dead walker...whatever and deposited it back in my boot. I looked down at the body and couldn't help but wonder what had gone on here to have five people murdered in the first place. I could only guess at this stage, the answers more than likely died with the old man and I sure as hell wasn't going to stick around to find out who had committed this act. If five people weren't a match for them then I certainly would be an easy target. Which was even more reason to get out of here. _Dodge was a stupid place to hang out anyway._

 

It wasn't even worth looking in the tents for supplies or weapons left behind, not with how the camp-site looked currently, it looked thoroughly ransacked and that wasn't even considering the dead bodies.

I took my bow off, an arrow loaded ready to fire. Even though I was still a little rusty on my bow, I didn't feel comfortable using my gun while in the woods, it would only serve as a beacon and I needed to be in stealth mode till I made it back to the fire-station, well at the very least, the truck.

 

 

It was a good five-mile trek back to the truck and the sun was starting to set. I sighed heavily knowing it was going to be dark when I finally got my ass home. Rick was going to be pissed I was returning this late, and I had a sneaking suspicion he's say something to Daryl about this hunting trip, if not him someone else would have spilled the beans. So, there was another conversation I was so very much looking forward to having. _I wonder if this recent panic attack will get either of them to cool their heels on the tongue lashing?_

 

I _could_ keep this from them. _No, no I couldn't. I'm keeping enough secrets currently, anymore and the dam will break._ Honesty about this incident was going to cost me my freedom but quite frankly I think I've had enough _freedom_ , I'm better when I'm around other people. Yes, I needed that time today to think things over and try get some balance back in my mind, even if I'd unintentionally taken two steps backwards. Without the time today I would have imploded and I cause enough of a burden of the group without adding _that_ to the mix as well.

 

 

Walking through the woods I felt far more focussed than I had this afternoon, the horrors back at the camp-site giving me dose of reality. _Not that I didn't understand the possible risks of being out here alone, I understood those perfectly. It just so happened I went out on the wrong day. Only I could pick the wrong day,_ I snorted to myself.

 

The only thing slowing me down were the walkers. There seemed to be more of them passing through all of a sudden. I hoped it was because of the camp-site and not something more sinister happening. Last thing I needed was for a sizeable herd to pass through, I'd never make it back to truck tonight if I were running. And if I did, getting it back up and running was going to take a few minutes, minutes I might not have if I had walkers on my ass.

The only bonus to come from this was being able to use my bow more, going off instinct rather than trying to concentrate on lining a shot up. The less I thought about it the better, maybe it wasn't just my injuries stopping my progress but I think I knew that deep down too. The mental component was always going to be a factor, regardless of whether anything ever happened to me.

Lucky for me the walkers seemed to be travelling in groups no larger than three, so taking them down was still a challenge but not enough where I was backed into a corner and would end up as dinner. And thankfully my attempted shower today wasn't quite going to waste, I could still smell the soap on me and I had avoided getting as little walker blood on me as possible, only a few splatters here and there.

 

 

I was still about a mile out from the truck when the woods turned very dark, then sun long gone now. I had since shouldered my bow, shooting it in the dark was not something I wanted to do tonight. I had grown more confident with it again but this was about escape not hunting. I screwed the silencer on the barrel of the gun and fished out a torch from my bag, proceeding into the darkened woods. I hadn't wanted to use my gun, but now it was a necessity, at least the silencer dulls the sound significantly. _Less of a dinner bell._

 

The last mile was seemingly clear from walkers, all except one, which surprised me as I walked past a tree. Lucky I was quick and didn't scream when it appeared. That had been the last straw on me wanting to get the hell out of the woods. I wouldn't admit it to anyone else but in the darkened woods, alone, I was scared.

 

 

The truck thankfully looked like it had been free from thieves for the day but I still approached cautiously. Going so far as turning off the small torch and creeping as quiet as I could in the dark. I scoped out the truck further back in the trees, making sure it was free from threats, human and walker. My paranoia getting the better of me while I checked underneath the vehicle, as I didn't want to be caught off guard by someone hiding out and waiting till I got back with the necessary items to start the truck. I did notice walker tracks a few feet off from the truck, leading straight through. It didn't even look like they hung around, which was all I could hope for right now. When I was sure it was clear I opened the door, depositing my bag, the two rabbits that had still made it and my bow in the seat. I grabbed the water bottle filled with gas and the spark plugs, quickly completing both tasks and letting out the breath I didn't seem to realise I had been holding once I was seated in the driver’s seat and the door locked again. _Paranoia: phase two._

 

 

I didn't take a direct route back to the fire-station, adding another fifteen minutes to the drive back. I knew I was being overly cautious but I wasn't about to risk everyone back at the fire-station because I couldn't be bothered. I was tired, hungry and really over today but safety first. _Well technically paranoia first but who's judging?_

 

Convinced it was all clear, I turned on the street one block away from the fire-station. Passing one lone walker in the street, naturally it started to follow the truck. Hopefully someone was keeping an eye out for me and would open the garage door for me. I had no doubts someone would be on watch, I expected and dreaded it to be Rick.

To my surprise, T-dog was the one opening the door for me and ushering me inside and closing the door behind me. We had a short conversation about my late arrival. He then offered to take the rabbits off my hands to gut them, which I thanked him for because I certainly didn't have the energy to do the task tonight. I chose not to say anything about the panic attack and the cause of it, thinking it would be best to discuss it with Daryl and Rick first. And whether I was overreacting to the situation because I had passed out. In the morning we'd end up having a family discussion I was sure of it.

 

I deposited my bag and weapons in my room and quickly changed into a cleaner top. I also gave myself a quick once-over with a wet rag to get rid of any walker blood, the less I looked like I had some trouble today, the better. I sighed heavily knowing I couldn't put this off for any longer. _Time to go report in._

 

Walking to Daryl and Rick's room I was a little anxious. Rick hadn't been too happy about my unescorted hunting trip this afternoon to begin with. And since I was rolling in when it was dark, he was going to be even less enthused with me. But the longer I put this off the worse it was going to be, at least this is my reasoning for trying to not make myself wait any longer. Plus, I did want to check on Daryl, maybe curl up next to his bed. I wasn't too keen on sleeping alone in my room after the two panic attacks today, especially the last one, that one had been far too emotionally draining. But I also didn't want to push my luck on the hospitality either, Daryl was still injured and I wasn't about to kick Rick out of his bed and as innocent as it was sharing with him last night, I couldn't help but think that under all the jokes Daryl made towards the situation, he wasn't overly enthused. Not that I blame him, if I'd seen him waking up with someone else the green-eyed monster would have definitely made an appearance.

 

As I opened the door I was greeted with Rick lounging on his bed reading a book, Daryl looking like he was passed out. Rick dropped his book onto his chest and stared back at me. Well it was more of a glare, he looked to be trying hard to keep his face straight, more than likely wanting to stay mad at me. It was adorable.

“She returns” he says flatly. I could detect a little hint of anger in there still. _Fucking hell Grimes,_ I laughed inwardly.

“So, am I grounded?” I ask with a straight face.

“Should be for making me worry” he grunted, bringing the book back up to read. _Or to hide._

“Well hold a grudge all ya like, but I came in check on Daryl. How's he been?” I ask, looking over to the sleeping man.

“Worried as well.” _Ah fuck. Why couldn't they just fib a bit where I was. Great another angry male to deal with. And a Dixon to boot. Awesome._ “Threatened to go after you.”

“Course he did. Couldn't you have just told him I was on watch or something instead of ratting me out?” I asked folding my arms across my chest and sighing heavily.

“Ain't gonna lie to him” Rick said matter-of-factly.

“You mean, you couldn't help telling him. Even when you knew he would get pissed? You knew I was coming back. And I'm sure you think I have a death wish but I don't. Just wanted to get some time to myself and wanted to test out my shoulder and get some practice back in with my bow. It’s been months and with my injuries I need the practice. Bullets ain't gonna last forever.”

“Ok I'm sorry” he grumbled, the book flat against his chest once again.

“Knew ya couldn't resist my charms Grimes” I smiled triumphantly.

“So, how'd it go?” he asked. And I winced, looking at my feet. _Better to get this over and done with now I guess._ “Well?” he prompted.

“You can't get mad” I said still staring at my feet.

“Oh fuck. What happened?” he said dropping his book on the bed and rushing over to stand in front of me.

“I'm ok I swear, no new injuries...” I said looking up at him. He looked worried and well I couldn't blame him, I usually came with bad news. _I'm god damn walking disaster sometimes. I swear I never used to be this...magnetic._ I gestured for him to take a seat, I took a seat on the floor with my back leaning up against Daryl's bed and took a deep breath. Rick sighed, shaking his head and pushed himself off the bed and sat next to me.

“What am I _not_ supposed to be mad about?” he asked, this time the anger had left his voice, he sounded more tired than anything.

“Hunting went fine, tracked a few trails inland for about four miles, got two rabbit as well. Trails started to run cold after that, that should have been the first indicator to turn around and head back. But you know me...Kept travelling in for about a mile before I came across what looked to be an abandoned camp, kept my distance at first trying to get a read on it from a distance. Seemed quiet...too quiet but I pressed forward anyway” I sighed heavily to myself. “Once I finally got close I could see why it had been so quiet. Five bodies, executed. Wasn't walkers, they'd been shot in the head before they could turn, all except one. Don't know what went on there, not sure if I want to know either. When I finally decided it was time to get the fuck out of dodge...the old man...he...I...I panicked and passed out” I said starting to fidget with my hands, some of the uneasiness returning.

“What made you panic initially?” Rick asked cautiously.

I continued to fidget, both wanting to avoid the question and afraid to answer. The amount of _'What if'_ questions I had floating around in my mind were maddening. Rick was still silently waiting for me to answer his question before, trying not to press me too hard in case my dam broke again. And I wasn't sure I could handle another panic attack today, especially since they were escalating today.

I took a deep breath and continued to stare down at my hands, knowing the moment I looked over to Rick I was probably going to start crying and I really wanted to avoid that at all costs.

“At first I thought he was dead, then it was like Dale dying, the way he looked up at us, in pain, dying, and we couldn't do anything to help but that isn't what set me off...He spoke, just one word...one name to make me freeze.”

“Luke...?” Rick asked hesitantly, his eyes were on me, not that I had bothered to look up. My body going rigid, nails biting into my palms as I clenched both tightly. I nodded my confirmation.

“But I thought...” his tone dropping to a whisper.

“Wasn't him, 'm sure of it. He's dead, didn't even let him turn. I can't answer why he said _that_ name, just was what set me off, much like the day I went out hunting and passed out when I heard Daryl and Carol approaching. Whoever _he_ was, he was probably the one who caused all the chaos, didn't seem to be anyone around though...Don't think I was out long, but was long enough to wake up to the old man turning, barely had enough time...after that I just got out of there, had a few walkers to take out on the way back, was dark by the time I made it back to the truck...Lucky I got a good sense of direction aye?” I huffed, trying to lighten the mood, but my tone was still a little shaky so the joke fell flat. I knew it was an inappropriate time to joke but I was still a little afraid to what Rick would say and eventually Daryl when I told him in the morning. Rick was silent beside me, I figured he was playing detective in his head, working out all the details, the _'Cluedo'_ factor of it; the who, how, when and why of it. I know in the morning he'd want more details.

 

As if on cue, I heard Daryl shift ever so slightly behind us, his hand now reaching out, caressing the back of my neck, his silent way of telling me he'd heard it all and was trying to soothe me. I couldn't help the flinch that followed, as his fingers grazed my neck, it wasn't him, more the residual feelings from this afternoon. _I should have known better than to think he'd actually be asleep. He was sneaky when he wanted to be, which was a lot to be honest._

“Hey” his voice sounded from behind me, a little gruff, alluding me to believe he had been asleep if not dozing before. “Jus' me” he reassured me.

“I see you were faking sleep” Rick chided from beside me, his head turned towards Daryl. There was still a little bit of gap between Rick and I, and I think he too was wary of overcrowding me in this moment afraid it would set me off.

Daryl shifted again. “Well...couldn't. Had ta know she was back safe” he said.

“ 'm fine” I replied shakily. _Way to sound convincing._

“Didn't sound like it went fine” he hissed quietly, pulling his hand back.

I turned around to kneel and face Daryl, who was narrowing his eyes at me and quickly searching to see if I really was _fine_. Usually that would have made me smile or given me butterflies at his concern over me but right now I was too tired for all of that.

“No. You're right it didn't go fine. But I said **I'm** fine. I know I should have left when I knew something was off about the camp before I approached it. But I didn't. Look, can you both berate me in the morning about my poor decision making skills instead? I just want some sleep” I sighed.

“Fine but we ain't done talkin' 'bout it” Daryl huffed.

“Didn't think we would be” I mumbled, standing up. “I'll come by in the morning, yeah?”

I wanted to stay and sleep next to Daryl and a part of me wanted him to ask me to stay as well, _a girl likes to be asked occasionally._ But both of us being as stubborn as we are, neither were going to budge on the matter. Even though deep down I knew it wasn't going to be night filled with much sleep and if I didn't manage to nod off, the consequences weren't going to be desirable. I'm sure both Rick and Daryl knew this fact too. 

I also felt like I'd shown enough weakness today and didn't want to show anymore by asking to stay. And it was probably best I didn't stay, as I knew I would pacing more likely than sleeping. I didn't need either of them to have a shitty night's sleep because of me.

 

I could feel Rick looking between the both of us, knowing exactly what is going on. And for once he's keeping his trap shut. _Surprisingly._ I'm sure he's itching to say something, call us both on our bullshit. But he knows it’s not his fight to make.

 

“Sure. Night” he gruffly said, turning over on his injured side to face away from the both of us.

“Night Rick” I said and I couldn't help the sadness creeping into my voice. I quickly steeled my emotions before turning for the door, not even waiting for Rick's reply and quietly closing it behind me. I heard his quiet 'goodnight' just as I closed it, his tone sounding a little confused. I don't blame him, for anyone looking on from the outside on the _relationship_ I have with Daryl, probably doesn't send a lot of confidence in what we have.

 

 

I was exhausted, but that wasn't the problem. I'd been staring at the roof of the office for who knows how long. Both panic attacks were on my mind, making me twitchy and restless. I was afraid to close my eyes if I was honest. I should have sucked up what little pride I had left from today and asked to stay in Daryl and Rick's room, _should have but didn't._ I wouldn't have minded even if it meant sleeping on the floor, I've had worse places to sleep to be honest. But I had retreated to my room instead.

 

So maybe the thinking time hadn't gone exactly like I had planned it today and had _slightly_ backfired towards the end. I wanted to go out there today to come out of the woods feeling more _confident_ about my mental state of mind but now all of that's been shattered. _And I guess another hunting trip was out of the question, not that I'm all that keen to go out currently. Wonder who will want to volunteer to be my shrink?_

 

 

I'd been playing solitaire for the last hour, as I was fighting against going to sleep. I was tired and my body was trying to tell me to get some sleep but as soon as I closed my eyes the nightmare played out before me, morphing and changing but getting more vicious each time. Sooner or later though my mind and body were going to win and I'd fall asleep. And at this rate it wouldn't be far off, from the way I was having trouble concentrating on the game.

 

I was just shuffling the pack of cards when I heard one of the dorm room doors closing from across the common area. _Someone must be having as much trouble sleeping as I am_ , I thought to myself. I continued shuffling the cards, ready to lay them out for another round of solitaire.

 

The person stopped outside my door and holding their position, almost seeming to hesitate. I stop shuffling the cards and stared at the door, waiting for the footsteps to either disappear back into the darkness or whoever was on the other side to knock and tell me what's on their mind.

A few minutes’ tick by and neither of the two things happen, I sigh quietly to myself. _Guess they need a push._

“You can come in ya know, don't have to stand out there all night” I say pointedly towards the door. The person seems to deliberate for thirty seconds before opening the door. I shouldn't be surprised to see Daryl coming through the now open door, but I am surprised.

“Can't sleep either?” I query.

He shakes his head at me and awkwardly hobbles across the room, till he standing in front of me. Setting the pack of cards on the floor I stand and narrow my eyes at him.

“You shouldn't be up. You should be resting”

He rolls his eyes at me and carefully sits himself down on the couch, wincing slightly. “Ya knew I weren't gonna listen ta Hershel when he told me that...couldn't sleep anyway” he gruffly said, “Why weren't you sleepin'?” He asks the question but we both know, he knows why I'm not sleeping but he asks anyway. Maybe he wants the answer to be different to what he knows is the truth? But there's no point in lying, he knows the truth as do I.

“You know why. Stop asking stupid questions” I quirk an eyebrow at him.

“Why didn't ya just stay with me?...Or _Rick_?” he asked, the edge in his voice mentioning Rick. _There. That was the guilt coming into play. Nothing had happened between Rick and I but the way his voice sounded more sharp mentioning Rick, only made me feel like I had done something wrong._

I sighed. “Because...” the word becoming drawn out as I thought about the answer. “Because it wasn't my space to invade. It’s **your** room. And Rick's...plus I would have kept you both up all night with my pacing or loud thinking...And I couldn't ask...didn't want to...wasn't _his_ bed I wanted to sleep in anyhow” I said starting to ramble, my insecurities starting to flare up. My emotional barrier starting to crack.

“Ain't made of glass ya know” he huffed beside me.

“Didn't think you were...but I saw the bruises, I know how bad that wound is on your side...I mean shit I was the one who pulled the knife out to begin with. I'm worried...”

Daryl cut me off. “Nothin' ta be worried 'bout. 'member when ya said ya sleep better when I'm there, well it’s the same fer' me...been tossin' an' turnin' since ya left” he said looking up to me, his expression turning hard, like the flick of a switch. “Now...We're either sleepin' 'ere or we're sleepin' in my bed” And he then quirked an eyebrow at me with what could only be interpreted as _'Well?'_

I rubbed my hand over my face tiredly. And as tired as I felt I still wasn't ready to try and brave sleep. I looked back up at Daryl again who was still waiting for my answer. _Oh. Right. Answering._

“You weren't in any shape to be getting out of bed in the first place...” And I raise my hand to stop him from speaking, as he was about to cut me off, “I know, _not made of glass_ and all that nonsense. Honestly...” I say rolling my eyes, the hint of a smirk on his lips.

 

“Yer' 'fraid ta sleep though, right?” he questions. I nod once, not quite trusting my voice to answer without shaking. “Even with me here?” his voice softer.

I sigh looking down at my hands, starting to wring them together again. “Ya know why I don't want to...today was just...haven't been this afraid to go to sleep in almost a month. I hate feeling this... _weak_ ” I huff out dejectedly.

“Ya ain't weak...just...just got a lot on yer' mind” he reasoned.

 

I was thankful he didn't just chalk this all up to me being emotional. _Sure, I was a little but it wasn't just that._ I think he knows there's more going on than what I've told him and probably what Rick has told him to some extent as well. But opening those wounds again...I just don't see how it would help either of us. I can only imagine him getting angry about it and then his feelings of guilt would start back up. I on the other hand, well I'm afraid it'll make me retreat even worse into myself, I'll just bury myself in a hole and never come out. And that's not what I want at all. I've felt like I have made some good progress but to keep dredging this up feels like I'm drowning, slowly and painfully.

 _But then again what do I know?_ My reflex is just to bury it deep and never bring it up again but looks where it’s gotten me. _Square fucking one._

 

“Gaw'd yer' thinkin' loud” the lightness returning to his voice, breaking me from my inner spiel.

I couldn't but look up at that remark and smile, his southern twang getting the better of me. “Well you did just say I've got a lot on my mind” I said rolling my eyes, ducking my head as I try to stifle a yawn but still knowing I wasn't quick enough, he definitely noticed.

“So, what were ya doin' since ya weren't sleepin'?” he asks.

“I was playing strip poker, can't you tell?” I smirk as I over-exaggerate a flourish of my hand down the length of my clothed body, “I was winning, obviously.”

He chuckles. “Clearly.” And he just sits there and by the way he's looking at me I can see the gears turning in his head.

“C'mon?” I prompt.

“What?” he asks confused.

“I know you're just _dying_ to make some comment about how you'll show me how the men _really_ play or that you could get me out of my clothes without losing a single item of yours. But be warned I'm not above cheating and I know how to stack the deck. I'm not being arrogant just giving you the facts beforehand” I shrug.

He chuckles again. “When I find my brother, you are so goin' ta school him and wipe the smirk off 'is face. Then as yer' prize I'm gonna show ya how a real man gets ya naked” his grins dirtily at me.

“I'm not playing strip poker with your brother” I deadpan.

“No, yer' playin' regular poker with him, teachin' 'im a lesson. Trust me he needs it” he smiles fondly.

“So, its dinner and a show for you? And I'm dinner?” I quirk an eyebrow.

“Precisely” his grin turns predatory.

“Well dinner can wait, we both need the sleep” And I swear Daryl Dixon pouted. _Not that he'd ever admit it._ “You can have an early breakfast in the morning. After we've slept” I say rolling my eyes again at him.

“So yer' actually gonna sleep?” he asks as he starts to ease himself back onto the couch, his arm outstretched drawing me into his warmth, his injured side lay against the couch so I wouldn't be at risk of leaning on it by accident during the night.

“Gonna try. Maybe the promise of _breakfast_ will make me sleep better?” I say reaching for the blankets and lying down carefully next to Daryl. He huffs his annoyance at my _treating him like he's made of glass_ and pulls me flush against his side. _This_ was what I had wanted earlier but was too much of a coward to ask for. And I certainly wasn't about to complain about it now. _Not. A. Chance._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did anyone fear I had bought back Luke for a moment? I wanted to make it perfectly clear he's really, really dead. Not coming back I swear. And to me the reason why the old man's last word was “Luke” was just a huge coincidence but there's a back-story there that we might just never know. Oooo mystery.......  
> Aw and Chris, I sooooo missed writing him. It was such a cute fluff piece to write in there that just seemed appropriate and kinda made me tear up a little writing. As a minor OC in my fic he's definitely made an impact on me. Stupid puppy dog eyes....  
> I know there could have been smut there lol. I was tossing up whether or not to do it, in the end I decided against it as he's still pretty injured. Yes I know she “promised” him breakfast …..cough..... but that's still debatable whether or not that will happen either. I do like the teasing banter between them and I would love to write a scene with Camille schooling Merle and her walking away victorious with smokes or squirrels or spam or whatever the hell you bet with in the apocalypse.  
> Alright you know what to do. I don't mind the bribes. Xxx
> 
> And I have Tumblr now (finally with the times) will probably be the best way to see progress regarding updates: [Tumblr](http://lilvixen25.tumblr.com/)


	46. Pigtown Blues

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I suck. I'm sorry its been so long. In all honesty I lost my mojo for a while and then struggled to write this chapter. But thankfully I have some awesome friends who were cheerleading me to finish this and keep me motivated through my no-mojo period.[ArchLucie](http://archiveofourown.org/users/ArchLucie/pseuds/ArchLucie) xxx  
> So yes this is the second to last chapter. I'm so nervous for both these chapters.  
> Hopefully the very long chapter will make uo for my absence, I think it came to just over 11k......  
> Also gotta say thanks to everyone who read, commented, bookmarked, kudosed throughout this series. And just past 4k in hits, I'm so stoked about that! Never imagined it would get this high, especially for a Daryl/OC fic. So much love to all of you!!!  
> Alright shutting up now....Enjoy!! xxx

It was barely past dawn when I snuck out of my room, leaving Daryl to sleep. He barely stirred when I managed to extricate myself from him. Which had been a mission in itself, as he was generally a light sleeper. I didn't want to wake after the rough night I'd had and in turn causing him to have a broken sleep as well. Guilt was going to weigh me down. And it wasn't helping my already queasy stomach, causing it to lurch again. _I hoped it was just nerves, I wasn't ready for the alternative. And in this world I'm not sure I'd ever be._

Twice during the night I'd woken up from nightmares. Neither had been pretty, the last one I could see the look of uncertainty and a little fear on Daryl's face as he looked back at me. He wasn't afraid of me, more for me. And as soon as he snapped himself out of it, he pulled me close and lulled me back to sleep, his thumb brushing over _his_ marks on my hip, soothing both him and myself.

 

The first nightmare took on a different spin this time, as opposed to the _regular_ nightmares. It started out where I was walking up to the abandoned camp, only this time the people weren't dead, they were being held prisoner, Luke at the centre of the madness, Kane watching on as Luke lashed out at the people. Then I was grabbed by someone and dragged forward in front of Luke. And as predicted it escalated quickly from there. It wasn't till after his taunting he put the barrel of a gun to my head and pulled the trigger. And that was the point when I'd woken up, half-hysterical and trembling. I didn't need to tell Daryl what the dream was about, I'm certain he had a fair idea. And I wasn't in the best frame of mind to explain, maybe I'd explain more in the morning. But he seemed to know what I needed and soothed me back to sleep after a while. How he did was still a little baffling to me but I was grateful either way. After the first nightmare, I'd tried to stay awake but his touch did the opposite and soon enough I was falling back asleep, at least until the next nightmare hit. The next one being significantly worse than the first.

 

And because of his valiant actions last night, I left him to sleep a little longer. He needed more rest than I did currently anyway. His injuries still healing, his body trying to get the time to recover. Daryl would never admit to needing more time to heal, so it was easier to silently give it to him. The way I see it, there's less arguments that way. At least until he wakes up, then I'm sure he'll grumble about it and I'll just smile and nod politely at him, because let's face it he's pretty adorable when he gets that way.

 

I'd left a note so he wouldn't freak out that I'd left this morning, leaving it next to him. Only a few letters scribbled on a bit of paper indicating where I'd gone to.

_'Roof. x C'_

 

 

I'd bundled up warm anticipating the morning chill to be out in full force and out of habit had my bow and quiver over my shoulder. The kitchen and lounge area deserted, no one else stirring yet as I made my way up to the roof.

 

Carol was on watch duty this morning and looked over at the sound of the rooftop door opening, giving me a tentative smile as I closed the door behind me and walked towards her. I wasn't sure if this was the right move but I figured there wasn't much point dancing around the subject and hiding out on the other side of the roof. She knew I was here, why not try that whole _'let’s be civil'_ thing out. No matter how sceptical I was. After the day I’d had yesterday and the night, I didn't really care if she had negative opinions on me. I just needed less drama in my life.

 

 

She eyed me and I eyed her right back, it wasn't a glare, more both of us feeling the uneasy tension in the air. She had apologised yesterday and I do give her some credit for that. I still haven't really had any time to process it at all though, after everything that happened yesterday...honestly that had to be the most drama filled day I'd had in who know how long, even Camp Nazi wasn't that dramatic. _And that's saying something._

 

“I know I apologised yesterday but I still need to apologise again today.”

 _Crap what for this time?_ I thought dryly to myself.

“Just for my behaviour. I know standing up to Lori like you did yesterday wasn't easy. The whole issue with her should have never gone that far, I shouldn't have bought into it all either. I know there's not much more I can say, but I am going to try make things right with you” Carol said sincerely before keeping to her rounds as she started to walk the perimeter of the roof again.

 

We'd been walking in silence for a while, keeping an eye on the neighbourhood and watching the sun slowly start to make it appearance on the horizon. She was the one to break the silence.

“I see you managed to find a couple of rabbit while out hunting yesterday” Carol said conversationally. I knew what she was up to, she was _trying_ to make conversation to be polite and to possibly mend some fences. She was trying, I'd give her that.

“Yeah, other than the rabbit, not much else was around. It was far too quiet out there yesterday. Should have turned back then when I got that feeling” I rambled.

“Did something happen?” she asked, halting in her walk.

I ran my hand over the back of my neck, apprehension starting to creep back in.

“Was it walkers?” she asked, genuinely starting to sound concerned.

I shook my head. “I came across a camp. No walkers but...” I trailed off, images the executed bodies flashing before my eyes. I shook my head, trying to shake away the images. “It...it was just...just a long emotional day. It's better if I tell everyone at once, _only have to repeat it once then_ ” I mumbled the last part more to myself but Carol still heard me. She eyed me for a few seconds trying to figure out my _secret_ , before she nodded and carried on with her perimeter check.

 

 

We patrolled the roof in amicable silence for the rest of the morning, the sun only haven risen just over an hour ago. Glenn wearily came upstairs later to relieve Carol, looking between the both of us to see if there was any tension and seemed surprised when no visible signs of distress seemed to emanate from either of us. He seemed to shrug his shoulders at the fact before taking the rifle from Carol. She flashed me a quick smile before disappearing downstairs.

 

“Ya know you're not technically on duty at the moment” Glenn said not taking his eyes off the houses across the street.

“Trying to get rid of me Rhee?” I snorted.

“Yes, yes I am” he laughed. “C'mon I know you got in late last night. Go rest for a bit” he smiled, but effectively shooing me downstairs. I reluctantly went, but with a smile on my face. _Maybe I looked a little worse for wear?_ It wouldn't surprise me after the shit sleep I have endured last night. I hoped Daryl managed to get more after I left this morning.

 

As I descended the stairs slowly, the door to the main floor opened, Daryl closing the door behind him as he met me at the bottom of the stairs.

 

“Jus' comin' ta find you” he greeted. _At least he looked better than I currently felt._

“Well good morning to you too” I smiled. “Coming to check up on me?” I query, placing a hand on my hip for extra emphasis.

Daryl just stares back at me and gives a little huff and I was sure he was resisting the urge to roll his eyes at me. He knows I'm playing avoidance at the moment. He can always get a read on someone, although I suspect I'm hardly hiding my emotions right now.

“Yeah...I know. I had a shit night and I'm sorry for...”

Daryl cut me off. “Ya don't gotta apologise, that's just bullshit an' ya know it. Was hopin' ya would sleep better with me there but...” he trailed off sighing to himself.

I reached out placing my hand on his chest, tempted to grab his collar to show him how wrong his statement was, but instead I let it rest against the warmth of his chest. “You did help. You got me back to sleep. If you hadn't of been there I wouldn't have even tried to go back to sleep, would have stayed up all night pacing...” I moved to step around him and continue inside before he grabbed my wrist, pulling me to a halt beside him, he turned to face me and I could see by the look on his face he wanted to inquire more about me mental well-being. _Only on rare occasions was he ever this transparent._

“I'm not gonna say I'm fine because we both know it’s a lie. And I don't know if its ever gonna be better. Look, I'm gonna talk to Hershel today, see if he can recommend something, maybe something natural, give me a little peace of mind at least.” I sighed trying to smile but failing, it was too forced.

“Won't he jus' tell ya ta talk 'bout it or som'thin'?” Daryl queried.

“Probably but you know why I avoid it. You may not know the exact details of some of my nightmares but whenever I talk about it, I have nights like last night and quite frankly those nights’ suck...Sorry I gave you a shitty sleep though” I said guiltily.

“Yer' doin' it again” he huffed.

“What?”

“Apologisin', told ya, don't need to” he smiled.

“Would I be completely selfish to ask if you'd sleep there again tonight or if you had room on your bed instead?”

His mouth twitched on one corner before he replied. “Yeah think we can work som'thin' out.”

 

“So how are _you_ feeling this morning?” I ask.

He thought on it for a minute before answering. “Sore” he mumbled sleepily.

“Huh...never thought I'd hear _that_ word come outta your mouth” I grinned.

He narrowed his eyes at me and dropped his voice lower, “Tell anyone an' you'll pay.” I grinned back at him.

 

 

Everyone had gathered except Daryl who was on watch while this _family_ discussion went on, since he knew already. Looking around nervously to everyone I briefly explained exactly what I have seen when I was at the mascaraed camp yesterday and then went on to answering questions the best I could.

 

After talking with Rick and Daryl last night, they both saw that staying here wasn't a safe option anymore and were pushing for us to move on. Others in the group were apprehensive, as they had come accustomed to having a bed to sleep on and some sort of stability that was considered a normal routine in this world. I personally never believed we'd stay on at the fire-station forever. It always felt like more of a stop along the way, where we were heading next I wasn't sure but I knew it wasn't meant to be staying here.

 

Lori was fully on-board with moving on and not so subtly throwing some remarks my way about how I was wrong. Lori had looked at me with the hint of a smirk on her face, that screamed _'I told you so'_. It was safer if I just avoided her gaze altogether, so I did and I felt better for it instantly. Honestly, I expected it from her, so I played it as coolly as I could and ignored her remarks. I'd said yesterday I wasn't going to let her affect me and I meant it, so I held my chin high. What made me bite my lip to keep from grinning was the way Rick ignored her too when she made those remarks, he seemed to brush her off and ask someone else's opinion in his own _not so subtle_ way of telling her to shut up.

 

Yes, I'll admit the fire-station wasn't the safe haven we were looking for but the reality of the situation is that in this world now where is safe? Because unless we find a castle, with a moat, _because all castles need moats_ , I honestly don't know where _safe_ would be in this world. So maybe the fire-station wasn't the best option but it was the only option at the time. She was right about that, but that was about it to be honest. _Note this in the history books, the one-time Lori Grimes was right. Ever._

 

As for everyone else, most could see why we should move on, they just didn't want to. I think maybe one or two of them probably didn't think the threat was all that high and that the stranger was passing through and they'd be carrying on their merry way and wouldn't bother us. It was naive to think that. The invasion of Camp Nazi back at the trailer park was the perfect example of getting to comfortable in our surroundings. Sure, we had tried to make sure we had someone on watch always but the park left too many holes in our security, too many places to hide and too many ways to sneak around without getting caught. It was lesson we unfortunately had to be taught, we just had to learn it the hard way, myself probably taking the worst of it.

 

I tried to get my point across about how it should be obvious that with our current position we weren't able to defend it properly. The suburban setting posed too many risks at this stage, especially being this close to the town centre, people were always going to be drawn there, even the fire-station posed a risk at being a possible beacon too. I stressed that we didn't need to isolate ourselves in the middle of nowhere, we just needed to find somewhere different and hopefully away from whomever had killed the group in the woods.

I hadn't quite said it like that to the group, I was less blunt and tried not to sound so condescending as I did in my head. I could see some of the group coming around to what Rick, Daryl and I were thinking, not everyone was on-board yet though. I just hoped they would before everything all turned to shit and something bad happened. I wanted us all out before the shit hit the fan preferably.

 

The end of the meeting was a bit stilted, mostly everyone was unsure and almost unwilling to make a decision to leave. I feared that for us to move on as a group, something had to give, which if I wasn't lying gave me more stress to the situation.

Just before everyone parted from the meeting Rick had tried once again to _push_ the leaving option again, trying to express the danger we could be facing, that we _could_ find safety again.

 

 _Maybe shit needed to hit the fan then? Needed to snap people back to reality and not to forget the danger lurking everywhere nowadays. No, wait...I don't want that. I want...I dunno what I want anymore._ My inner thoughts were all over the show presently. I hadn't realised that people started to move off to their own chores, until I looked up and saw Hershel, Beth and Rick still in conversation.

 

 

After Rick and Beth had finished their conversation I pulled Hershel aside to chat about my _anxiety._ Even though I hadn't talked to Hershel much about my situation, he already had it figured out. I suspected Rick had told him a little as well, probably to get Hershel's advice, as a second opinion was probably needed so he knew how to proceed. Since he had unofficially taken up the role as my surrogate therapist.

 

Hershel still listened to me as I continued to explain my concerns. I wanted to get better, I wanted to be able to go hunting alone and not freak out when something out of the ordinary happens, especially if it’s a trigger to my panic attacks. I wanted all those things. I also stated how I didn't want to start taking anti-anxiety meds. The risks were too high, one, not knowing the pharmacology or the proper dosages of it all. Hershel's a vet at the end of the day, I don't ever remember hearing about cows and chickens being prescribed anti-anxiety meds because farm life was too stressful. Secondly, I didn't want to be all doped up at the worst time, I needed to be focused, even though currently that state for me is touch and go. But if I was drugged up on whatever I was a risk. And I wouldn't jeopardize the safety of myself and everyone else for that.

So, that was where I asked about natural methods, I'd be game to try just about anything if we went the natural route. Surely there had to be some herb or flower or something in the Georgian backwoods that would help calm my shit. Hershel smiled and said he knew a few things that may help and wouldn't have the undesired side-effects that the drugs would have. He also stressed that this wouldn't be a cure, that I would have to face my demons and talk to somebody. He graciously offered his ear if I was comfortable to talk to him, while giving me his warm fatherly smile. He wanted to help and I couldn't be more grateful to the man

 

“You really think we should be on the move again?” Hershel asks changing the subject completely and I think trying to gauge my opinion on the debate from earlier.

“Look, I know this seems like a good set up around here. But what I found in the woods...I don't know who did it or if they were long gone. For all I know they were hiding in the bushes or it was the guy Lori killed the other day, but what I do know is this area appears to be compromised now. I'm not sure if it’s a good idea to stick around here any longer.”

“But we can make it safe” Hershel said

“From walkers, sure, but people, people are a whole 'nother ball game” I said.

 

I didn't want to bring up the farm but that was the definition of thinking we were safe, when really we were just backing ourselves into a corner, on a silver platter. Undeniably the threat had been walkers that time but we were too exposed, too vulnerable on the farm. If the herd hadn't come along, humans would have been an issue sooner or later. _They always are._

I'm convinced there was a part of Hershel that was bitter we'd lost the farm, so bringing it up was only going to throw it back in his face. And he didn't deserve that kind of disrespect.

At least I think he's come to realise that the world has turned to shit, he just has a lot more hope than some of us do. I'm far too cynical and slightly paranoid nowadays, Camp Nazi kinda shattered that illusion for me.

 

 

I had wandered back to my room to find Daryl lying on the couch, his arm slung over his face as he tried to doze. His injuries side-lining him for the moment, still too stubborn to really admit he needs the rest.

Upon closing the door, he peeked out from under his arm and lazily smiled at me.

 

“Talk ta Hershel?” he asks a little sleepily.

I nod. “Yeah, he said he would help any way he could, even offered to let me talk his ear off.”

“Told ya he'd want ya ta talk it out” he smirked.

“Yes, you were right, don't let that go to your head now” I said rolling my eyes, “He did say whatever herbal stuff we can find though won't be a permanent fix. It's more of a band-aid currently” I said burying my face behind my hands and sighing to myself. Taking my hands away, Daryl's still watching me from the couch curiously. “Maybe I'll take him up on his offer...just not today.”

 

I was glad he didn't push any further on the subject and I had a feeling he still wasn't ready to hear every detail of what happened, nor was he about to ask about it either. _Not that I blame him either way, if things were to ever improve with Daryl in the future its probably best he wasn't the person I talked to_.

Now I just needed to find someone to confide in and become my surrogate therapist in the meantime. _God help the poor person who ends up with the short end of that stick._..

 

 

“I see you made yourself at home?” I say gesturing towards the couch, changing the subject.

Daryl shrugs. “It's comfy” he says simply. “Ya really think we should leave?” Daryl asked as he pushes himself up slowly to sit and give me some room to sit beside him.

I nodded. “After what I saw in the woods, regardless of my panic attack, _they_ tore that camp up. I don't know if they're coming here but I don't feel _safe_ here anymore... Do you think we should stay?” I ask, a little worried that he's changed his mind and thinks this is all in my head.

He shakes his head. “It ain't safe 'ere anymore. There's too much ta protect. An' not 'nough of us... Yer' right, they might not come 'ere but it ain't worth the risk. And I don' want ya goin' out there alone 'gain” he said firmly.

“Don't want to go out there alone at the moment if I'm honest” I sighed.

“Good” he grunts. “Yer' on watch later, yeah?” he asks.

I nod confirming. “Yip, Maggie and I are on till late. You an' T are taking the night shift, right?”

Daryl nods in confirmation, and has the slightest look of hesitance on his face. I had a feeling I knew what he was thinking. “I'll be fine. If I can't sleep I'll come up and help, alright?” I smiled, trying to give him some reassurance, even if we both knew I was faking it right now.

 

 

Lunch had been a bust for me. I just picked at my food and couldn't get anywhere near the cooked rabbit, the smell turning my stomach. Maybe that was just Lori's cooking though. I remember Rick telling me about her awful pancakes she used to make in the weekends. For once I was glad we lacked certain ingredients so she wouldn't be able to suggest making them. Thankfully everyone else had cottoned on to Lori's ineptitude towards cooking so she generally had supervision. I'm sure somewhere buried in her brain she had a killer recipe for something and could cook it to perfection but my guess is it would be something with ingredients not easily found.

 

I managed to eat what I could before giving the rest of the rabbit to Carl. He, of course wouldn't read into it, which I was grateful for. He just flashed me a few quick smiles and happily ate the rabbit. Everyone else were fortunately too distracted with the topic of leaving.

 

My nerves were unbalanced today, no doubt about it. I was just racking that up to the nightmares and _adventurous_ day I'd had yesterday. _It wasn’t the other thing that I was really trying to avoid thinking about at the moment._ Maybe an actual good night's sleep would do me some good. I'd had gone so long sleeping in this unusual pattern that I can't remember having a solid night sleep. Nightmares, bumps in the night or stress becoming a usual occurrence for me nowadays.

 

 

Once lunch had finished and the conversation had died down Maggie and I went upstairs to take over watch. Maggie giving me a knowing look, like she had seen me passing off the rabbit to Carl. I kept quiet and wondered if she would bring it up or not. If she did, what could I say... _I just didn't feel like it?_ That was all I could say though, nothing new to report.

Patrol started out as it normally did. Making small talk amongst ourselves, doing a quick lap around the roof and getting our bearings, before finding a spot to watch for a while.

 

 

“It's a pity we'd have to leave this behind” Maggie sighed.

“I know. It was just feeling a little comfortable but I guess that was our first mistake... _feeling comfortable._ Should be used to having to pick up and go at a moment's notice nowadays.” Guilt lacing some of my words, as I peered out into the neighbourhood. Only spotting several walkers wandering around aimlessly about a block away and not walking our way thankfully.

“We _should_ be but...it's nice having a bed for once” she pouted.

“Yeah I certainly didn't miss sleeping on a back seat” I said handing the binoculars back to Maggie.

She scoffed. “I don't know how ya did that, seems damn uncomfortable...and was a certain Dixon coming out from your room this mornin'?” she grinned mischievously.

“Well it certainly wasn't Rick” I chuckled, rolling my eyes at her.

“The couch isn't _that_ big...definitely not enough room for three people” she mused.

I playfully punched her in the arm. “Like I don't have enough drama within this group. But if I hear any rumours, you know I'm coming straight to you...or Glenn” I said poking my tongue out at her.

“C'mon...” Maggie nudged me, “We better keep an eye out don't want yer' _boyfriends_ telling us off” she grinned before strolling over to one of the corners of the roof, while I took up residence at the other corner.

 

        

I had taken to lying on my stomach for the last hour, watching through the scope on the rifle as I surveyed the neighbourhood. My bow resting against the roof access, as it wasn't needed for now but I felt lost without it near.

I’d grown tired of constantly walking around and as long as we had our eyes out watching for any type of _danger_ , then no one couldn't tell us we were doing it wrong. I felt I could watch more if I was stationary.

Glenn had been up earlier, joking with me saying I was being lazy but I retorted saying I had seen him sitting on his ass plenty of times while he was on watch. He just grinned at me and went to join Maggie for a bit keeping her company.

 

Maggie was at the opposite corner of the building, keeping an eye on the back end of the building, watching the fences and the parking lot. I was watching the street and the surrounding houses, we both had a lot of ground to cover. This was another one of the reasons why this building was a bad investment for us, if we had more walls or fences, maybe we would stand a better chance of defending this place. But here, we were too open, too exposed, too many holes for the mice to creep in. _Dead or alive._

 

 

It was late afternoon and it had been relatively quiet, which never bodes well. Only a handful of walkers seemed to visible and meandered down the street, one or two heading into exposed backyards. _Too many holes..._

 

**_Bang!_ **

Of course, this was the time when the silence broke and everything felt like it was about to turn to shit. The voice in my head just said one thing. _Shit._

The single bullet being fired reverberated through the air, the echo of the shot bounced around the entire neighbourhood. It made it harder to locate exactly where it had been fired from. I knew it came from somewhere in front of me and I was sure it wasn't at us. _At least I'm pretty sure of that._ Someone was in trouble or just about to start trouble. I didn't know which was the worse option to be honest.

****

I sucked in a breath and held it as I refocussed my eye over the scope and slowly started to scan everything in front of me, looking for the source. I could hear Maggie picking herself up from her side of the building and making her way over to me.

“Stay low” I ordered, not taking my eye off the scope. I was sure she would have been but I called out the order anyway. People tend to think less rationally when faced with intense situations. I'm a perfect example of that on at least ten different occasions.

 

“Do ya know where it came from?” she whispered.

I took my eye off the scope and saw she had set herself up like how I was positioned, except she had the binoculars out. I shook my head at her question and looked at the street down below. Walkers were starting to emerge from their hiding places and starting to converge on the street. Only a dozen or so were making themselves known currently, but with the sound of bullets come the undead army. The more shots fired, the worse the situation would be. For whoever is out there and for us in here.

“Find the shooter” I instructed, “Bastard's gotta be round here somewhere...” I muttered more to myself.

 

Every time I saw movement I had to take a second to quickly evaluate if it was a walker or human. Identifying the undead wasn't usually a particularly hard job most the time, chucks of flesh were missing, the gait of their walk, the amount of rot or the abundance of blood coating their bodies and clothes. Those _usually_ were the signs it wasn't alive.

Shadows appearing from the sides of houses or fences also gave me reason to pause suddenly when scanning for the shooting assailant. I was constantly adjusting the grip on the rifle, my finger hovering over the trigger out of reflex.

 

**_Bang! Bang!_ **

Two more shots echoed, this time narrowing down the patch of houses it came from. At least we had a general direction now.

“Can't see anyone” Maggie whispered beside me.

 

I wasn't having much luck either. The houses looked clear. The yards looked clear. The street looked clear. They had to be hiding somewhere around here. And I was now noticing the extra bodies walking down below. The number had easily doubled since the first shot. Every shot that was made was drawing more in. _The dinner bell has been rung..._

 

The sound of the roof access door opening made me clutch my rifle tighter, an essential reflex to have these days. I quickly glanced over my shoulder to see a tense Rick making his way over towards us.

“Who's shooting?” Rick hissed

“Not us” Maggie said before turning back to the binoculars.

“We're looking but can't see where he is...” I said.

“You find him and put him down if necessary, anymore _attention_ and we'll have an even worse problem on our hands” Rick ordered. I was a little shocked to say the least that Rick had given such an order but with the stakes getting ever higher by the second I understood. It would come down to a split-second decision to decide whether this person was fighting for their life or trying to make our lives a misery. I hoped it was the former, because the latter would be a whole can of worms I don't even want to think about opening.

 

“Rick” I hesitated before steeling myself, “Lock everything up downstairs. Get everyone up here now. Bring weapons, rations and something warm...I have a bad feeling we're gonna be stuck up here for the night...at least until the crowd below backs off.”

“Can ya handle it up here for the time being?” Rick asked seriously, more weight behind the question. Both Maggie and I nodded confidently. Rick took off back downstairs.

 

Not even a minute later, Glenn, Daryl and T-dog were coming upstairs. I hadn't looked up from my scope to know it was them. Their quiet murmuring was a dead giveaway.

“Any sign of the shooter?” T-dog asked, the sound of guns and rifle being loaded behind us.

“Nope. Shots were coming from somewhere behind those three houses is my best guess at the moment” I replied and pointing in the direction of the houses.

“Rick said take 'im out?” Daryl asked. I clenched my jaw, still feeling uneasy about the orders, thankfully Maggie replied beside me.

“Yeah...if it looks like they're out to get us...yeah” she sighed beside me.

“Ok...Glenn, T, you take the back and make sure no one is sneakin' up on us” Daryl said walking away to the back of the building, the other men following suit.

“What about you?” Glenn asked.

“Need another spotter up front, now go” he whispered harshly. I could hear Glenn and T-dog shifting over to the opposite side of the roof. Daryl chucked a few clips to Maggie, she mumbled a ‘thanks’ in return. He placed a few clips next to me before moving behind me. I glanced back over my shoulder to see him crouching down behind me, his side still too sensitive to be able to lie on his stomach like Maggie and I were. He gave me a tight smile before bringing a pair of binoculars up to his face. I turned back to the scope scanning what I could see of the backyards. Flashes of shadows and dark figures flitted across an opening. What ever it had been had been too quick to get a clear indication. _Was it the shooter? Was it a walker? Or was it just an animal? I had no idea and that just frustrated me more._

“It's startin' ta get crowded down there” Daryl murmured.

“I know...can't do much about it though...not without attracting unwanted attention” I whispered in reply.

“Ya seein' anythin'?” he asked.

I shook my head. “Walkers...Some shadows...possibly people, I dunno?...Can't get a clear view through the scope.”

“Walkers are startin' ta block any visual we might get” Maggie complained in a low voice.

 

I could hear the door to the roof opening again and assumed more, if not the rest of the group was joining us on the rooftop. I could hear a few gasps as they undoubtedly got a look at the street that was filling with more and more walkers. _Where they had all been hiding I had no clue._ It was kind of terrifying to think there were this many walkers in our vicinity and we didn't know they were there. _I guess we all had to stop being so naive._

 

“What's going on?” Carl said shakily.

“Oh my god...” Carol gasped.

“Carl get back” Lori reprimanded in a low but threatening voice.

“There's so many...” Beth uttered.

“Quiet” Daryl chastised. The rest of the group feel into silence. “Where's Rick?” he asked.

“Said he was making sure everything was locked up downstairs” Hershel replied.

“Alright I'm gonna go check on 'im...drag 'is ass back up 'ere if need be” Daryl said, muttering the last part. I turned at his words looking back over my shoulder at him, hating that he was going on his own. He gave me a stiff smile before hoisting his crossbow over his shoulder and turning for the door. I flashed a quick look to Carol, silently asking her to go with him. She gave me a small nod before standing up, a pistol clutched in her hand.

“I'll go with” she said going after Daryl. Daryl said nothing and just carried on, disappearing into the stairwell. I didn't particularly like Carol much at the moment but I could trust she'd make sure to watch Daryl's back. If things went south, he needed backup, even if he wasn't one to admit it.

 

I was back to looking through the damn scope again. Maggie sensed my discomfort with the situation and spoke up.

“He'll be fine. Couldn't even keep 'im down when he shot himself with his own damn crossbow” she smirked.

“Not exactly helping Maggie” I said raising an eyebrow at her.

“Worryin' ain't gonna do ya much good, just sayin' ” she smiled.

“I know” I mumbled, as I started to scan the houses again for movement other than walkers.

 

 

It was at least a solid five minutes before I heard the access door opening. I cast a glance over my shoulder to see all three people emerging, each carrying a bag. Carol giving me a quick nod and a smile. Daryl and Rick came straight over to Maggie and I. Rick giving his son a stern look when Carl moved to follow his father. He sat down just as fast as he stood.

 

“Anything?” Rick whispered bringing a set of binoculars up to his eyes.

“Pretty sure there's a few of them. Only seeing shadows though” I replied.

 

Rick set himself up ten feet away, opting to lie on his stomach as well. Daryl instead had set up in the corner of the roof, using one of the corner pillars as his cover and to rest the barrel of his rifle on.

 

My adrenaline was pumping and this reminded me how it was on my last day at the trailer park before it all went shit. That constant feeling on uneasiness floating about the air, the hairs standing up on the back of your neck, all of that. I didn't get the sense we were being watched, I just felt tense about it all. I think whoever had fired their gun was caught unaware and they were just passing through. It's wishful thinking at this stage but currently I'll take what I can get.

 

 

It had been fifteen minutes of silence, if you didn't count the endless moaning below. The gathering of walkers below had reached a high point to my standards. They had crowded the streets, drawn in by the gun fire. And for now didn't have an interest in the fire-station, which we were all thankful for. Until the threat of the walkers decreased we were sitting ducks up here. But by the time the first shot went off it was clear we had no chance if we'd booked it out into the street or even out the back. We were effectively surrounded and it was a terrifying thought. So, we'd just have to wait it out. And that didn't sit right with anyone by the looks of it.

 

 

 _“Luke!...You can't leave me...Help me!....Please!”_ the man pleaded

 

I froze up again. _This couldn't be happening, not again._

“Did he say Luke?” Rick asked and I could feel his eyes on me.

“It's what it sounded like” Lori said from behind us.

I was starting to tune out the murmuring around me, gripping the rifle tighter, my panic starting to creep back in. I was no longer looking through the scope.

 

_“Help me...please” he pleaded again._

The man stopped pleading with _Luke_ and it was silent for a few moments. The only sound were the walkers below who were starting to converge on where the arguing was coming from. From the fire-station we still couldn't see who it was.

 

_“Plea...”_

**_Bang!_ **

 

The single gunshot echoed from across the street, startling me and a few others from the gasps I heard behind me. The man's words cut off by the gunshot, at this stage it was obvious he'd been put down, whether it was out of mercy or as a sacrifice we weren't sure.

 

“I thought you said _he_ was dead!” Lori hissed at me.

“He is...I made sure. He was definitely dead” I rambled.

“Leave it Lori” Rick growled.

“She said this Luke person was dead and now it's clear she lied to us and now we're in danger _again_ because some psycho is after _her_!” Lori growled.

“I didn't lie. I slit his throat, watched him bleed out and made sure he wouldn't turn. Don't you dare call me a liar again” I warned, before dropping my gaze and hastily turning back to the rifle. I was pissed off and the last thing I needed was to start yelling and draw the attention of the walkers below.

 

I could hear Rick behind me diffusing the situation and getting group, mainly Lori, to quieten down. I watched as one walker seemed to look at the direction of the roof, stopping dead in its tracks and just staring blindly at the roof. None of us were near the edge, even our barrels weren't over the edge of the roof. The group seemed to have shut up for now and I watched as the walker lost interest and shuffled on with the rest of the crowd. I let out the breath I had been holding, and I heard Maggie do the same next to me. I peeked over to her and she mouthed _'close one'_ to me. I nodded my head in agreement.

 

Above the constant moaning from the undead below it was hard to hear anything else except for our group on the roof. The only clear sound we'd been able to hear beyond the fire-station were the gunshots or people yelling. We really had to rely on us keeping watch for any activity that could jeopardize our safety. The smell was a tad ripe as well. It was unpleasant but bearable. And something I wouldn’t miss once these damn walkers moved on. I longed for some fresh country air without the walker stench.

 

 

Nothing happened for hours. Not even the presence of the shadows we had seen earlier. Which made me both nervous and relieved. I hoped they had moved on, whoever they were. But I had a feeling they were still skulking around the neighbourhood, possibly temporarily trapped by the gathering on the street. _Serves them right, assholes._

 

I'd been lying on my stomach since this had started and I was having trouble keeping still now. I had cracked my knuckles a dozen times, had to stop myself from humming a bunch and was now tapping my fingers as a replacement to humming. I was beyond bored. I hadn't stopped watching the houses since this had started several hours ago. And it was starting to feel frustrating not finding the people or person who fired the gun. And I wasn't the only one getting frustrated with the waiting around. Everyone was on edge and restless, waiting for the other shoe to drop. Even Lori was showing signs of irritation, although considering her normal temperament is not far from irritation on a daily basis, one could say she was just acting normal.

 

 

“Do we draw 'em out?” Maggie asked breaking the silence.

Rick shook his head swiftly. “Too risky.”

“Too many bodies below” Daryl added.

He was right, as we'd only be drawing attention to ourselves and we would have nowhere to run if walkers decided to storm the place. I shuddered at that thought and my mind instantly started thinking of possible escape routes. _Just in case._

“We can't sit here all day” T-dog hissed.

“What choice do we have?” Carol replied.

 

 

 _“I won't...Please, please don't do this!”_ A woman pleaded. I kept my eye glued to the scope scanning where I thought it was coming from.

_“Got no choice...we all have to make sacrifices Joan...”_ A man bellowed back at her.

_“Noooo!...Don't...Nooo...stop!”_ She screamed, struggling with the man in question.

 

The arguing between the man and woman broke the silence of the last few hours. Everyone immediately going onto high alert. The screams came from the opposite end of the street than the gunshots had come from. Every walker perked up at the scream, the moaning getting louder throughout the street, as they started to move to the end of the street a few houses away.

 

_“Get aw...”_

Her screams seemed to be cut off, almost gurgled towards the end. And with the growing attention she was accumulating we could only guess what had happened to her. _Was she from the group of gun-toting strangers? Or just an unlucky spectator?_ I hated how situations like _this_ only created more questions than answers. I just wanted some god damn answers for a change, was that too much to ask?

 

After the woman's screams, the streets ventured back to its previous state. While some walkers appeared to have wandered off, presumably to feast on the poor woman, most of the walkers still hung around in the block containing the fire-station.

Having a silent conversation with Rick, Daryl and Maggie we all came to the consensus that the gun-toting douche-bags were still holed up somewhere too, trapped by their own stupidity. We kept our eyes forward, scanning the houses and the yard in-between for any signs of them.

It wasn't until the sun had set that we pulled back most of our surveillance for the night.

 

 

The night was cool. But at least it wasn't freezing, winter wasn't far off though. If we were to move on we'd need to find somewhere warm. Bad things happen when you're exposed to the elements. And the roof didn't exactly give us much in the way of shelter. I guess we could be hopeful that the wind was almost at a standstill for most the night. Which was probably a small miracle, I wasn't sure if the walkers had a good sense of smell but we had been lucky so far that they hadn't been alerted to our presence. Right now we needed all the miracles we could get.

 

It was a full moon tonight as well. _Guess that explained the crazies out today._ The street was lit up far more than I expected it to be. You could see all the walkers below shuffling about with no direction of where they were heading, just that they were staying in this area. Those damn gunshots and the woman who got _eaten_ earlier had given them the incentive to stick around for the moment. I hoped by morning they had wandered off, along with the gun-toting douche-bags too.

 

And since there wasn't much surveillance we could do at night, only two people were on watch during the night, one at the front and one at the back of the building. We were certain that with the number of walkers still present on the street that the likelihood of humans attacking us was slim. No one was going to walk through the sea of walkers and break into the fire-station and not be detected, it was far too risky. _Even by douche-bag standards._

So, everyone else tried to get some sleep. Someone had the good sense to grab some blankets on their way up. Everyone ended up having to share, which wasn't a bad thing, the extra body heat given off from the other person you shared with helped with the cooler night air.

 

Daryl had the blanket wrapped around him and I sat between his legs, getting the rest of the blanket. I tried not to lean too heavily on him fearing I would aggravate the wound on his side but he ended up pulling me against his chest anyway.

 

“Jus' get some sleep” he murmured in my ear. I smiled in the darkness and tugged the blanket around us tighter. Daryl had manoeuvred his hands under the bottom of my shirt and I had hissed initially at the contact because they were so cold. I could feel his smirk from behind me. I had wanted to elbow him but thought better of it in the end. He rested them against my hips, idly stroking either side.

 

 

I woke once during the night, I think it was from a nightmare but I couldn't remember the specifics of what had happened. All I knew was I felt off and little skittish. Having woke Daryl as my body had gone rigid, he drew me tighter against him and lulled me back to sleep.

 

 

The sun was starting to rise and I could see Rick preparing to give another one of his speeches very soon. The talk yesterday about having to leave was back on the table after what happened. Staying here just wasn't an option anymore. The area was compromised, plain and simple. Whether the men out there did it to flush us out or were just in a bind we couldn't be sure. And we had no idea if they were still alive. All we knew so far was that at least one of them didn't seem to care about the people he was with and was willing to sacrifice them.

 

The reality of the situation now gave everyone the perspective they needed. And those who were on the fence about leaving yesterday, today they agreed with Rick. Our problem now were the walkers still occupying the street and surrounding the building. They would need to clear out before we could leave, at least safely. So, we were stuck waiting.

 

“We can't stay here anymore...it’s...it’s too dangerous” Rick hissed. Several people nodded along with him. “I know...I know y'all are comfortable here and its been nice to have a large roof over our heads but after everything happened yesterday, I think it's more than dangerous to stay here. As soon as most of those walkers have gone I want us out” he said making sure to look at everyone in the group.

 

I was in full agreement with him, had been since before I had even told him about my findings in the woods. We had to go. Yes, it was a risk to stay, and it's a risk to leave. But staying seems to be a lot more in the doom category than leaving does. Hell, I survived two months on my own living in my truck.

 

With the group now in agreement that staying on at the fire-station was a bad idea, we started to plan what our next step would be.

We all knew that leaving was just as much of a risk. But the chaos from the afternoon and into the night meant it was far too risky to stay.

Even I was hesitant about leaving the fire-station. I was comfy in _my_ office, even if I was starting to share that space with a certain redneck. If he can help soothe me like he did last night, then he's more than welcome. It felt like a place we could have called home, _if everything didn't turn upside down the moment we got into town_. Maybe our new place would be safer? Well we have to hope it would be. There was only so long we would be able to be on the road for before we had to stop and settle for a bit. Lori's impending birth in a few months was one reason. And there were certainly plenty of other reasons why we'd need somewhere to stay for a bit.

 

 

The walker swarm that had gathered yesterday afternoon had decreased but there were still too many below for us to be doing anything. Like yesterday we set up more people on watch, almost everyone either had a rifle or a set of binoculars on them. Today we weren't going to take any more risks but just keep a vigilant eye out for our resident trouble-makers. And hope we caught a break and we'd be able to get the hell outta dodge.

 

 

The sun was hiding behind cloudy skies today but it had to be somewhere around lunchtime. As if on cue, my stomach rumbled. I smiled to myself, refraining from cracking up. Beth appeared a moment later crouching next to me and handing me two crackers.

“It's not much” she uttered.

“Better than nothing. Thank you” I smiled, gratefully taking the crackers, shoving one unceremoniously into my mouth and grinning around it. She chuckled in return before turning to hand out the rest of the rations.

 

A whizzing sound went right past me, making me freeze until I heard a thump, as a body dropped behind me. I peeked over my shoulder to see Beth lying on the roof face down and not moving.

 

That's when everyone started to go into panic mode. Hershel was in the opposite corner making a move to come over. A few quiet whimpers were made. Everyone was looking to Beth and holding their breath.

“I got her” I hissed, dropping the rifle in my hands and shuffling back to Beth. My hands were shaking as I reached for her. I could see she was breathing, most likely knocked out slightly from the shock. I knew I had to get to her before she came to and cried out in pain. Last thing we needed was for the corpses below to be alerted.

 

“Beth!” I hissed, reaching out to her.

A sudden **_Ping!_** two feet away made me recoil my hand.

“Find the shooter!” I growled towards T-dog, Rick, Daryl and Carol.

“No! Only T and I have silencers. Only shoot if I say” Rick countered. The others nodding at his command.

I reached for Beth again, she groaned now, the adrenaline starting to kick in. I rolled her over and another **_Ping!_** hit the roof, this time closer. I could see she'd been hit in the shoulder just below the bone, the bullet had gone clean through from what I could see but for now was bleeding steadily.

“Sorry” I muttered to her, before I clapped a hand over her mouth to keep her quiet and hooked the other arm across her chest and under both armpits, covering the wound and putting what I imagine to be uncomfortable pressure on the wound. I managed to drag her backwards to behind the corner pillar I had been doing my surveillance from today.

 

I could hear several pops as both T-dog and Rick shot back at the shooter. Another **_Ping!_** Sounded as it hit the roof access building.

Beth's body was draped in between my legs and lay back against my chest.

“Sorry” I apologised again as I took my hand away from her mouth. I could see tears were running down her face. I slowly eased my other arm away, knowing I was very close to the wound. She sucked in a short breath as the pressure from my arm was taken away. “I'm gonna get you out of this, just gotta be quiet for me” I tried to say in as soothing voice as I could muster. I took a deep breath and nodded back to the group trying to give some sort of encouragement. Beth was ok, bleeding but ok.

 

Blood. Hot, red blood started to seep on my shirt from her exit wound. I needed to slow and if possible stop the bleeding.

“Sorry...need to get my shirt so I can stop your bleeding” I apologised again as I wrangled the flannelette shirt off me. I was glad right now I had been too lazy to button it today. It made wriggling out of it a lot easier.

 

I could see Hershel crouching behind the roof access, looking over at Beth, wanting to come and help. I shook my head at him, telling him to stay put. We didn't need another person injured.

 

With my shirt now free I manoeuvred it under one of her armpits, gathering both ends I gave her a pointed look.

“I ain't gonna lie, this is gonna hurt. Bite down on your hand, grab my leg, anything, just don't cry out, ok?” I whispered. She nodded weakly and bought her other hand down on top of my thigh. _Shit, guess we're both suffering on this one._

“One...two...” I counted and as I hit two I tightened the shirt around the wound and tied it in a knot just above the shoulder. She gripped my thigh more tightly with more strength than I would have thought. _Colour me impressed Beth Greene._ I gritted my teeth under the sharpness. I pressed one of my hands to the entry wound on her front and breathed out.

“Did good Beth” I reassured her. Her grip on my thigh lessened slightly and I felt her let out a shaky breath. I glanced back to the rest of the group nodding again. We were ok.

 

“Rick, second window on th'right, blue house” I heard Daryl hiss.

“Got him” I heard Rick say in a low voice. The shattering of glass sounded from across the road and the firing abruptly ceased. Everyone still held their breath as we weren't sure if it was over yet or not. So, we waited. Again

 

 

“Get down” Daryl growled suddenly.

A flurry of gunshots rang through the air, this time though they weren't aiming for us. Glass breaking caught our attention, as it did of the walkers below. _The bastards were shooting out the windows in the fire-station, probably so they could escape instead. Fuckers!_

I was still backed up against the corner pillar, with Beth lying against me and I could see down to the entranceway of the building. I wanted to help Rick and the others but I couldn't leave Beth the way she was now. So reluctantly I'd have to sit this one out and hope and pray whatever plan we were coming up with would work.

 

The sound of the breaking glass was riling up the walkers and were now starting to pound against the entranceway doors. If they didn't have their attention of the fire-station before, they sure did now. _Shit this was not good._ If they get through we were trapped up here and I didn't have any great escape plans yet. Now Beth was bleeding, so that was another set back for us.

 

Rick was back at his rifle, scanning for the shooters I assumed. He fired off two shots, his silencer muffling his shot and the frequency of gunshots backed off slightly. I think he'd managed to hit one of the shooters.

“Got one” Rick hissed as he continued to look for another shooter.

 

Suddenly the shooting stopped, the only sounds were the riled up walkers who were piling around the entranceway and Beth's shallow breathing. The walkers had yet to try the garage doors and for the moment didn't seem to be interested in it.

We all held our breath again unsure if the shooting was about to start up again. No one was moving, but everyone was looking to each other, each of us checking to make sure no one else was injured. Beth now was the only injured party.

 

Glass smashed and wood cracked below us as the walkers pushed themselves through the barricades against the front doors. And were now filing inside.

“Walkers...are they inside?” Lori asked shakily.

“We'll hold 'em off if we have to” Daryl said.

“We blocked the top of the stairs to the living quarters and we backed a couch up to the door to the stairs, it'll slow 'em down” Rick reassured everyone. I hoped the barricades they'd put in place would keep them away long enough for them to lose interest, then whatever was left after, we could take out.

 

 

A car alarm from inside one of the garages went off across the street, immediately getting the attention of the walkers below but not all. Some by the looks of it had managed to make it through the small opening they had managed to create and were inside the fire-station. The rest of the group were converging on the garage holding the car. I couldn't help the smile on my face. _Karma douche-bags!_ This was our miracle we'd been hoping for.

 

 

**_Bang! Bang!_ **

The gunshots started again, this time they were muffled slightly as they had come from within the house.

 

**_Bang!_ **

_“Heeeelllpp...”_ one of the men screamed in agony.

 

**_Bang!_ **

****

The gunshot echoed, this time coming from one of the backyards. The houses blocking all our views. The walkers were getting drawn to the gunshots and the car alarm that had just stopped a moment ago.

****

And then all we could hear was the sound of tires screeching as the gun-toting douche-bags speed away.

 

“I can see them, they're leaving. Driving West, straight towards the edge of town” Glenn said gleefully.

 

Hershel immediately rushed over and knelt next to Beth and me.

“Thank you” he smiled at me, tears filling his eyes. I smiled in return, breathing out a sigh of relief. _One crisis over._

 

“Looks like some broke in down below. But that car horn...” T said smiling as he peered carefully over the side, “Was a miracle!”

“Agreed” I grinned.

Rick came over and smiled at me. “Ya did good.”

 

 

We still had a problem with the walkers below. Most of them had followed the gunshots since the car alarm had stopped. Some were still banging against the garage door. And some were back to wandering the street below. At least from the silence we heard downstairs, not many had gone inside. At least we hoped, it was too hard to get an exact count. To be safe we'd have to wait it out before venturing down below.

 

 

 

It was three full days later after the incident with the gun-toting douche-bags and we were all packed and ready to head back into the unknown. We had ended up staying on the roof for the next two night's while most the walkers cleared off. Everyone was a little too freaked out to go sleep in separate quarters after these last few days.

Daryl hadn't even called me reckless for grabbing Beth when I did, so that in itself was a small miracle. I spent those next two nights happily cuddled up against him. And one of those nights were nightmare free from what I could remember surprisingly enough.

As it turned out there were only eight walkers wandering in the hallway outside the entranceway. We silently took out the walkers and moved some of the furniture to block the entranceway again while we packed up and got ready to leave. By the end of those two night's most of the walkers had moved on and only a handful remained on the street. That made for easy pickings.

 

 

Daryl's bike was strapped ever so tightly on the bed of my truck. He'd honestly rechecked the straps half a dozen times when we first tied it on there. When he was finally happy he carefully made his way to the passenger seat, adjusting the seat to his liking, his foot on the dashboard, looking far too comfortable.

 

“So, we're all set?” Glenn asked.

“Looks like it” Rick said taking one last look around the garage of the fire-station.

Rick gave his instructions and everyone had a copy of the map to where we were thinking of heading to next.

“Let's go” Rick said as T and Carol opened the garage doors.

 

 

“First thing in the mornin' we're goin huntin', sick o' bein' holed up all day. Need ta go shoot somethin' ” Daryl growled from the passenger seat.

I thought better than to question why he wanted me going with him as I figured he would be more keen for _me_ to stayed cooped up instead.

“Get some sleep anyway. I'll wake you when we get there, if it’s not dark we could go for a quick scout see if there's anything close by?” I offered.

“Deal. Just...no singin' alright. I need ta sleep” he smiled reaching to turn off the iPod.

“Na-uh” I said smacking his hand away from the iPod. “Driver picks the music. Shotgun shuts his cake-hole” I snickered. Daryl looked at me with a raised eyebrow. I grinned back at him.

“Aw I thought ya liked my singing. Just for that comment I'm singing the entire way” I said reaching for the stereo.

 

“So huntin', yeah?” Daryl questioned.

“Yeah...hunting” I agreed.

****

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One more chapter to go! I hope someone has stuck around to read these last two chapters!  
> Was Daryl coming off a little less dickish this chapter? Poor Beth. I feel kinda bad but also kinda not. Did anyone think I was going to kill her like they did in the series? The Grady fiasco all over again...um no. That's not quite me. I'd try give her death a little more meaning if she is to die... Anyone see the Supernatural reference in there?  
> Love to hear what ya'll think xxx
> 
> Also if you haven't checked out my weird little drabble and you need something to laugh about
> 
>  
> 
> [Bunny Slippers](http://archiveofourown.org/works/4542906/chapters/10339623)


	47. The Last of Us

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Brace yourself guys this is the last chapter for this part of the series. I'm still in a bit of shock that I've finished it. I need to thank every for reading this fic, commenting, kudos'd. They always brightened my day, still do. Thanks to people who cheered me on, especially when things got tough and I lost my mojo for a bit. [ArchLucie](http://archiveofourown.org/users/ArchLucie/pseuds/ArchLucie) you've been a champion xxx without her this chapter might have taken much longer, she talked alot of sense into me) and Sevus for reigning me in several times throughout the fic.
> 
> There's a longer note at the end but I won't ramble on any longer. Hope you like this chapter. And remember there will be more to come :)
> 
> Talk of drug use in this chapter guys, FYI.

Hunting had been a big waste of time today. The area appeared void of anything living. The only signs of _life_ were the stray walkers that wandered through the woods aimlessly and the two trying to avoid said life forms. The ones who unfortunately crossed their paths were unceremoniously dropped to the ground and would never rise again.

 

It frustrated both of them coming up with nothing for a hard day out tramping in the woods. But when there was no game around, because walkers more than likely scared it off, what could you do?

 

 

Settling amongst the brush they waited, crouching so they couldn't be seen. The sounds of approaching walkers making both of them tense. They gave each other a look, telling the other to wait it out. The herd was small by comparison of late, maybe only a dozen at the most. Sure, they could both easily take them out without so much as breaking a sweat but that would be wasting energy they didn't have. They'd both decided to only take walkers out on this trip if they posed a threat to them or if they stumbled in front of them. So far, this group were just walking on their merry way. If only it were that easy all the time. Good luck has an expiry date in most cases these days.

 

As the walkers passed, heading in the opposite direction they needed to go, one nodded to the other signalling it was safe to move. And without words they moved on through the woods. Moving back onto the game trail, both knowing the outlook wasn't good, especially after walkers had just trodden through. But they had a job. _Make yourself useful. Go hunting._ In retrospect it wasn't the worst job nowadays. It just had a higher risk than most others on offer or assignment.

 

 

They both knew they shouldn't be wandering this far. _He_ was gonna have their hides when they got back. But the reward for all their effort today felt so close, calling to them like a beacon. All they had to do was follow their noses, hopefully a freshly baked pie would be sitting on a window sill on the way.

 

 

Two miles later and they were still following this invisible trail to god only knows where. Another doomed walker staggered across the path and it hardly had time to get a decent snarl in before it's knees were kicked hard enough to make it buckle and a blade was impaled through it's left eye, pulverising the brain and dropped like a sack of potatoes to the ground. Wiping the blade clean on the grass, each checked the surrounding woods for any other stragglers. The woods were deceptively quiet. Which either meant more walkers were on their way or life had moved on from this area completely. They waited for more movement, with their backs to each other and circling around as they deduced the area safe, for now. 

 

Now back on the path to the beacon silence remained between them. Not that conversation ever really occurred to each of them. Today, neither of them were in a chatty mood. The lack of any game souring both their moods.

 

 

They could see structures through the trees and they trudged forward. Trying to remember the map they'd been looking over this morning, it was coming up blank to what actually lay out here. It had to be some of farming or industrial buildings that lay ahead, as it was too tall to be residential. And the closest town was at least thirty miles.

 

Finally making it out of the brush, they both stopped in awe. The switch flipped and they knew exactly where they were now. The West Georgia Correctional Facility. They really were off the beaten path now.

 

The guard towers still stood strong at each corner of the fenced-in yard. One by each of the gates granting access to the facility. Fences surrounded the buildings, most looking to be well intact. Caging in the monsters. There were so many wandering around penned in like farm animals, only these animals bite and they sure as fuck weren't tame. Maybe this wasn't a safe place after all. They could both see the bounty of supplies that this place held. More than any other place they had come across recently, and not this close either.

Travelling further out for supplies would only increase from here on out. It was always a risk to travel. But sometimes it didn't matter how far you went. Sometimes trouble finds you under your own roof or in your backyard or on the way out of the gate.

 

But what were the chances this place had been raided? All the walkers in the yard looked to be prisoners. So, if they could take out the remaining prisoners and not alert any more walkers in the area, locking this place down would be simple. Well maybe not simple, but it had more potential than the shitty ransacked housing development ten miles north of here.

 

 

“Well, fuck me...never thought I'd ever be lookin' at a prison 'gain, 'specially from th'outside” he smirked.

“Damnit Merle, quit fuckin' around. Let's go” Martinez groused.

“You orta be polite to a man with a gun” Merle taunted, pulling the handgun from his belt, then rolling his eyes at the man. “Take a fuckin' joke man, geez light'n the fuck up” he mumbled turning back towards the brush and deciding to call it a day and head back to town.

 

  
**Merle's POV:**  


The walk back to the car was met with relative silence. And it wasn't until we'd made it back to the car that Martinez finally spat out whatever had been bothering him since we'd stumbled across the prison.

“Ya know he's gonna have a fit when he finds out we were huntin' out this far” Martinez stated.

I knew that and couldn't stop myself from rolling my eyes at him. “And?”

“And...it’s your ass he's gonna chew not mine” Martinez snapped.

“Stop bein' such a pussy man” I grumbled.

 

 

I can't believe this is what my life has come to now. Sure, I wasn't livin' the fancy life before the world turned to shit but huntin' used ta be fun. Quality time spent with my brother. Was probably the few times we got along, at least until I couldn't keep my trap shut and piss ol' baby brother off, even that used to be fun. Now I just have to find the fucker.

 

 

It's been a long while since I went on that run into Atlanta with the group. Felt like days passed as I sat on that rooftop chained to the pipe, when only a day had passed before I escaped that hell-hole. I was still high right up until the sun set then the drugs wore off and I realised how fucked I was. Daryl would come find me, then we could take off like we had planned, although probably without the supplies we had intended to steal. I thought he would have come...

 

So, there I was contemplating my own existence on that damn rooftop. Even sent a prayer _or twelve_ up to the man above, knew I had a shit show of it being answered, not with my track record. But it didn't stop me from wailin' and carryin' on. Probably wasn't the smartest idea hollerin' the way I was but the drugs in my system were telling me otherwise. Was probably the reason why those dead pricks were banging against the door so damn persistent like.

I was cuffed to the pipe; my wrists were getting bloody the more I pulled against them. But what choice did I have?

Walkers kept pushing against the door, my only saving grace was the fucking chain that prick had tied to the door. _Fuckin' no good asshole droppin' the damn key! Did he do it on purpose?_

 

I don't really remember the exact moment I thought cutting of m'own hand off were a good idea. I have flashes of seein' the saw and then seein' the walkers push against the door and panic set in. Next thing I know I had the saw in my other hand, it was half bloody. Then my hand was lyin' next to me and it wasn't attached anymore. I could have sworn in that moment this was the worst drug trip I'd ever been on. The thing was, the drugs had worn off by then.

The two things that jolted me back to reality was the pain screaming up my arm now, the realisation of what I'd done hadn't quite set in. And secondly the loud banging had intensified in that moment. Must'a smelt the blood I reckon.

Then I was off. How I managed to get down the fire escape still baffles me. Let alone manage to fight off two walkers and find something to cave each of their heads in. The adrenaline was pushin' me forward, certainly wasn't the blood loss or the screamin' pain pushin' me forward.

 

 

It was a few days later when I found m'self locked up tight in an abandoned apartment, the drugs wearing off in the worst kind of way. Don't even really remember how I got there in the first place or where the fuck in Atlanta I was. Probably the safest place for me in the end, since I was so out of it.

 

The withdrawals on top of the pain from my arm, _what was left of it anyway_ , had me out of it for a few days. _I think_. Time was a big fuckin' blank if I were honest. Weeks could'a gone by and I wouldn't 'ave noticed.

Hallucinated a shit load of things that I knew weren't real. Had a whole god damn conversation with Daryl like he was right next to me, 'fore I turned to ask him somethin' and no one was there. Had a whole fucking conversation with thin air. He would have given me shit if he saw me doing me that, I laughed to myself. That or he would have thought I was high, which wouldn't have been a hard bet to make.

 

Then there were the hallucinations about the walkers. I had a couch pushed up against the door from the beginning but I watched them break through the door and just as they were about to bite down on me, they'd vanish. I tell ya, if I knew being sober was this much of a nightmare I would have shot that cop on the roof before he tossed my baggie over the side of the roof. _Fuckin' officer friendly._

 

I wanted a hit of somethin' _then_ , anythin' to get me through, wipe out the pain, bring my brand of _normal_ back. But for a lack of drugs available, I dunno maybe I wasn't lookin' hard enough, maybe I didn't care to look, I got reasonably clean. Figured that if I was gonna be on my own while I found Daryl I needed to keep my shit together and that meant no drugs. I know fucking shocker, right?

 

 

Nearly a month of wandering on my own. Once I was over the withdrawals and able to drive, I found the first car I could hot-wire and booked it to the quarry. Course they weren't there though. Saw the graves and still didn't think for a second Daryl was six feet under. _Takes a shit load more ta kill a Dixon._

 

I was on the road headed south out of Atlanta, found a few things on the way to where ever. There was the medical warehouse where I got my new _addition_. No meds though, my hand or what was left of it was slowly gettin' infected. Met an old guy just wantin' to be left alone, which I did by the way, thought 'bout robbin' him but I weren't in any good shape to fight, even if he was old. Two ravaged camps. And more fuckin' walkers.

 

Then thirty miles out from Woodbury I came across three men offerin' me sanctuary, food, medical help. I was running one hell of an infection by the time I came across them. _Would probably be dead if they hadn't of found me._   The offer seemed too good to be true. _Still think its too good to be true._

 

 

 

**_Two and a half months after the incident on the roof..._ **

_“You've been with us for over a month now. Dr Stevens said your wound is healing remarkably, considerin' the condition we found you in. Said you refused pain medications” the tone in his voice, completely giving away he was fishing for information._

_“Yeah? What of it?” I huffed, annoyed._

_“Just thought it was_ curious _that's all” Phillip mused. “So, do you think you'll stick around? Or you going to continue to search for your brother, Daryl, right?”_

_“Don't got nowhere else ta go. Still gonna look fer' my brother”_

_“You think he'd still be alive after all this time?” he sounded doubtful._

_I was starting to get annoyed._ Who th'fuck did he think he was? _“He's alive. I_ _know it.” I snapped back, glaring at him._

 _“Alright. Was just stating a likely fact, that's all.” Phillip said backtracking, holding his hands up in front of him, feigning his surrender._ Was all bullshit.

_“If I can survive out there with one hand, my brother sure as shit can survive too” I said raising the bandaged stump for emphasis._

_Phillip grinned back at me, his eyes flicking down to the bandages. “If you say so Merle. We'll make sure to keep an eye out for him.” he offered._

_“Sure, whatever” I grunted._

 

He'd have those conversations with me every two days like clockwork. He never bought up the obvious drug thing again either. Sure, there were still bad days where I wished I had somethin' to take the edge off but things were different now.   
Finally, after two weeks of me givin' over the information I only wanted to share, he started to trust me more. As much as he could in his situation. And I got better duties, promoted. Got to actually go outside the walls, go huntin'. And sure I would hunt but it was just an excuse to look for my brother.  

I think he caught on to it and started to limit the time I got to go out or I'd have him or someone else accompanying me making sure I was stickin' to the task. He's a crafty fucker I'd give 'im that. One thing he's yet to learn is ya never fuck with a Dixon. Sooner or later he'll learn that lesson.

 

 

So here I was a few months later. In Woodbury. My home for now. Wasn't much but I had a roof over my head, running water, food, the occasional warm body in my bed and walls to keep the biters out. But it was just that really. This was just a temporary stop on the way to find my brother.

Sure, those walls kept everyone here “safe” but sooner or later it would turn to shit. I just hoped I'd be miles away before that shit happened. They were so _happy_ here it was god damn sickenin' half the time. They had their BBQs and the Sunday picnics but they were so delusional. Think I felt the safest outside the walls, in the woods. _When I was lookin' fer' Daryl._

 

 

 

The drive back to Woodbury was slow going, a decent sized herd cut us off from our original road back to the town so the detour was a pain in the ass. Walkers were herding together more an' more nowadays and Woodbury...well it was just gonna get swallowed up like everything else these days. Sure, they had walls but get enough of these fuckers and walls don't mean shit. I tried to tell him but I'd have better luck growing my hand back, I chuckled inwardly to myself. _At least I can laugh about it, right?_

 

 

“It's been months since you last saw him, why do you keep searchin'?” Martinez asked glancing over to me.

“Wouldn't you?” I responded.

“Ain't no one I got to search for...everyone I love are dead” he said turning his attention back to the road.

“Well I know he ain't dead...can't explain it. He's out there, jus' need ta find 'im” I mumbled. Martinez appeared to be lost in his own head right now. It was a few minutes later when he spoke again.

“Do ya even know where to look? I mean, he could be anywhere. Ya know, that, right?”

 

Truthfully I had no fuckin' idea where he could be right now but I wasn't about to admit that out loud. I kept an eye out for spots I knew he would likely go but they always came up empty. I thought about heading back towards where home used to be but I doubted Daryl would want to head back too that shit-hole. I sure as shit wouldn't, so he wouldn't either. I looked when I could, it was all I could do for now.

 

 

Every time I asked to search for my brother there was always an excuse. Governor had a way to derail those plans every time.

 

_“The town needs you.”_

_“We're out of meat.”_

_“We're running low on supplies.”_

_“Walkers need to be rounded up for tonight.”_

_“We need someone on patrol.”_

_“I need you.”_

 

Always a damn excuse. Should 'ave been more aggressive 'bout it. Might 'ave found Daryl by now if I had. I don't know why I didn't see he was being such a manipulating prick. I never would have stood for this before, if someone had told me to go check the snares before the end of the world, I would have cussed till I was blue or beaten them black and blue or ended up in the slammer for a night. _The last one had happened usually because of a combination of the first two but that's neither here nor there._

But Governor...the way he was, the way he acted towards everyone, even the welcome chick he was banging that he thought no one knew about...It was all an act. He was without a doubt one of the most cunning pricks I'd ever come across and that's comin' from me, Merle fucking Dixon.

At first I didn't see the manipulation. He gave me _purpose._ Told me he couldn't keep this place safe and running without me. Promised to help me look for Daryl, which never happened, well not recently anyway. Told me I owed him for saving me. That should have been what kicked my ass into gear and got my head out of the sand. But it wanted to believe it. I was lost and Daryl wasn't here.

 

 

 

As we returned to Woodbury the last thing I wanted to hear was the sound of screams and gunfire. Screams meant walkers. And gunfire meant more walkers. Its the never-ending circle of the shitty apocalypse. Without the guns, we'd be fucked. And living in a town where the majority of people had fuck all training with weapons made us vulnerable. I'd said it to Gov more than once they needed trainin' but he didn't want to listen.

 

_“We're tryin' to build a life here, a community, a place to call home. Havin' everyone armed puts everyone on edge and they won't see it for the good it could do. We have th'walls. We have armed guards on th'walls. We don't need ta run this like a millitary camp. This ain't Nazi Germany.”_

Would I be too much of a prick to tell 'im I told ya so?

 

 

Walkers were piling up around the main gate. I could see three people clearly standing on the barricades, only one was taking care of the walkers on the gate the other two were shooting into the town. So, _that_ was bad sign.

 

“Too many of 'em at the gate, gonna 'ave ta go round back” I said assessing the situation. Martinez nodded and parked the car. I immediately reached over to the back seat, grabbing all the weapons we'd bought with us. Which wasn't much, two rifles with fairly decent scopes, one handgun and two small machetes. We _were_ only going hunting, so we didn't expect we'd need a god damn arsenal.

Arming ourselves with the weapons we had, we stealthily slipped out of the car and edged along the buildings trying to blend in, even if it was still daylight out. There were still walkers making their way towards Woodbury and by the looks of it we didn't have the time to take out each one, only the ones who crossed our path.

 

We moved through the abandoned streets, taking out a few walkers attracted by the gun fire coming from Woodbury. The rate of gun fire has decreased, so it either meant one of two things, one; they'd taken out what was left of the walkers inside the town, or two; the town was fucked and over run by walkers. _Or worse_. I hoped it was the first one as I'm not equipped yet to rough it on my own. I'd rather leave on my own terms than being forced out.

 

 

Reaching the south side of town, we could see how the fuckers had gotten in. A piece of corrugated iron had come loose, leaving a wide enough gap for someone or _something_ to squeeze through. Remnants of several _somethings_ were hanging off the iron as they pushed their way through. Luckily a little gore never deterred me in any situation and we didn't exactly have time to fuck around worryin' 'bout gettin' our clothes dirty.

 

Squeezing through the hole we were immediately faced with one of the bastards. The sound of the iron being shifted instantly caught its attention as it heaved its body upright and left what was left of... _Saunders? No that's Marks? Oh, fucked if I know._ It snarled and staggered towards us, viscera falling from its chops and splattering on the asphalt below.

“Got it” I muttered, as Martinez took care of the gap in the fence, pulling the iron back into place.

A well-aimed blade up through the jaw, shut the fucker up for good. I had to be careful when I did that particular move, learnt the hard way when I found an extra ripe fucker and as I pulled the blade free, a whole mess of gunk slid down the arm-piece. I swear I was findin' bits of walker in the stump for weeks after. _Ok it weren't that long but it was fuckin' disgustin' either way. Enough ta make ol' Merle want ta hurl when it first happened. And shudder now jus' thinkin' of it._

 

As we jogged to the main street we could see the carnage that had been left, several dead townsfolk, mostly the elder folk that didn't stand a chance. Must have been taken by surprise, walkers drawn to the noise on the main street and then... _buffet time_. By the looks of it at least eight or nine had gotten through. _Should 'ave had more spotters on all the streets, not jus' the main gate._ Either way most had been killed by the looks of it, only one were alive, still snacking on Mrs Rodriguez by the looks of it. _I only recognised her by the slippers she had been wearing. She wore them every god damned day, even in the street. Sweet ol' lady too._

 

“Start makin' sure the dead are gonna stay dead” I say to Martinez, who nodded before jogging off in another direction. I headed straight for the corpse still munching. The scuffing of my boots caught its attention but too late, before I was stabbing it through the skull and then bent to one knee and quickly put the blade through Mrs Rodriguez's ear and into her brain.

 

I glanced up to see a few bodies nearby and started to get to work. Didn't need our problems to start fucking multiplying. The gun-fire had stopped just as we entered the town via the fence. And the guns were pointed back out the way they should be, outside the gate. Two other men were taking care of the rest of the dead down towards the gate and Martinez was making his way back toward me.

 

I had just pulled my blade free from another corpse when Martinez stopped in front of me, panting a little. “Shumpert hasn't seen Gov since this all started. We better go find 'im.” Martinez didn't wait for me, just carried on ahead going to the opposite side of town. At this point we both knew if he wasn't down at the gate, there had to be another reason why he was elsewhere. _Had he found another breach? Was he fighting walkers? Doing clean-up like we had been doing? Was he dead? If he were dead..._

And it probably wouldn't hurt to make sure no more of these fuckers were lurking anywhere else in town. So we searched.

 

 

The gates to the empty courtyard near the warehouse were open, a bloody hand-print on one of the gates giving us some more unwanted breadcrumbs. Walking towards the gate, for the first time in a long time I was filled with dread. Whatever was left on the other side of the gate I knew I wasn't gonna like very much. If Gov was dead, well I guess I could go looking for my brother without anyone holdin' me back. _Which would be a welcome change, sick of the god damn roadblocks._ Or maybe I could become the new chief... _nah fuck that, Dixon's were never meant ta be politicians. Although it'd certainly get my dick wet more often._

 

 

Rounding past the gate Gov was crouched next to a body. A child's body. His daughter's body. _Fuck._ Clutching her tightly to his chest as he sobbed for his lost child. Blood coating his arms and clothing. Fresh bite marks covering her arm and one nasty looking one on her neck. Watching him now, he was nothing like the man I'd come to know over the last few months.

 

“Shit...” I mumbled, scratching the back of my head.

“She's gonna be fine” he sobbed shakily pushing hair back off her face.

“She's gonna come back as a walker” Martinez reasoned.

“Don't you think I know that” he growled angrily.

“Ya need ta take care of it” I pressed.

Phillip... _The Governor,_ just stared at me coldly, grabbed the gun from his holster, flicked the safety and pointed the barrel towards me.

“Leave” he sobbed not dropping the gun.

“Ya need...”

He cut me off, glaring heavily at me. “I'll do it. Jus' leave me be. Let me say goodbye” he said dropping the gun to the ground, his attention focussed once again on his dead daughter.

 

Martinez and I shot each other a look both unsure about leaving him here like this. But both of us knew he was probably one of the very few in this town that if pressed wouldn't hesitate to pull the trigger. Especially now. Now he was a liability. Martinez nodded his head towards the main street and started to move off. I stood there for a second looking down at Penny's lifeless body, I had no feelings really about the situation, it was sad sure, she was just a kid but I didn't know her. I was the scary guy round town with a knife for a hand, most people steered clear of me and that didn't bother me in the slightest. _Fuck 'em._ Most parents steered their kids well away from me.

 

Remember me sayin' I didn't wanna be round here when shit was gonna turn for this town, well I knew this was the point it all was gonna change. And now I felt compelled to stay.   
_Fuck._

 

I glanced back over my shoulder as I left the yard, Gov still clutching her body. He was either going to break from this and let it consume him or he was going to turn into even more of a prick than he already is. I don't know what option is worse.

 

 

 

Several weeks had passed since the breach in the south side of town. Life started to return back to what it was before, well as much as it could. Governor was starting to make more appearances. But the change had taken over. After Penny dying the anger took over. The schedule of runs changed, more men went out, armed heavily. Hunting was put on the back burner...for now, well that's the bullshit excuse he gave. After the breach, the town had a more military _presence_ around. No actual military. But curfews were put in place, more armed guards on the wall. Both of those I agreed with, before the town was to _la-di-da_ about it all. Yes, I love a BBQ as much as the next man but we had more important shit to worry about. I guess the breach was a wakeup call.

 

And then he started fight night. Anyone with half a brain could tell it was a reaction to his daughter's death. But in a twisted fucked up way it was still needed. The townsfolk attended, every one of 'em sceptical as hell, including me. But I could see the appeal, show 'em yes we need to be afraid but we can also beat the shit out of them for sport. Plus, I got to beat the shit out of some of the guys _for sport_ as well. _The brighter side of fight nights._

 

_“I know our town has been through a lot the last few weeks. The breach on the south wall was...unforeseen. I, as you know lost my precious Penny” he declared before bowing his head in his own personal moment of silence. “Other families too suffered tragedy. But that stops now.” People started cheering. “Tonight, we start to heal, show these things we aren't afraid of them anymore” the cheering got louder, “That we can build a better life here. I know things around here have changed, we have more people patrolling the walls, a curfew in place. But I assure you I have done this to keep you safe in here because I want Woodbury to survive. To thrive. Where your children can grow up and remain children while they still can. Where we can still have a civilised community. But tonight...tonight we take back control of our town. So, let's start this night off right. Are. You. Ready?” the cheering grew louder until it was cut off by the music. The Governor stepping off the arena and making his way up into the stands. People clapping his back or shaking his hand as he passed._

 

After he gave his politician worthy speech, the townsfolk cheered, music blared through the speakers amping the crowd up further and the spotlights came on revealing the chained-up walkers. I was standing on the sidelines thinking this felt almost normal. When Gov had suggested it, I wasn't sure how everyone was gonna take it. Gov had immediately offered me up as a _competitor_ for the night and soon enough several other men volunteered too. I couldn't help thinkin' they had a grudge with me. Wasn't my problem, they were gonna be the ones all bloody and bruised at the end of the night. One thing Dixon's knew how to do was scrap. And so I wiped the smug looks off their faces. _Like any good Dixon would do._

The night let out the aggression the whole town had been feeling and everyone, adults and kids alike left happy and cheerful, adrenaline still pumping in the aftermath. Even Governor nodded his head at me in salute of a job well done. Maybe that was the start of me feelin' like I fit in, like this place could be home, like I mattered. Should 'ave just packed my things that night and gone and not looked back. But I didn't.

 

 

Gov had _summoned_ me, wanting to go over supply runs and walker wrangling. I only caught part of the conversation as I closed the door behind me.

“...with how the town's grown and with the supplies we have, there's no way we'll get through the winter. Not unless we make a push further north and get what we need. It'll mean we'll have to travel further but...” Milton mentioned leaning over an unfolded map, palms resting on the table.

“No.” Gov answered, eyes still focussed on the map.

“But sir?” Milton pressed.

“I mean it. We can risk travelling that far, especially when we have no idea if anything would come from it. We need to find something closer to Woodbury. I'm not risking leaving the town unprotected for supplies that might not even be there” Gov sighed standing straight and folding his arms across his chest.

 

Having just walked in on the conversation I wondered if suggesting the prison would be off the table. If he was that desperate surely with the prison being thirty minutes down the road wouldn't be too far of a stretch and we'd be close enough to home. _I could see this turnin' sour the minute I open my mouth. But it never stopped me in the past, why would it be any diffr'nt now?_

“Hey Gov. I have a suggestion on where we could find supplies. Enough that we wouldn't have ta make as many runs each week.” I hedged cautiously.

“And what is this grand suggestion of yours?” Governor said raising an eyebrow at me, clearly sceptical.

“ 'bout amonth ago Martinez an' I were out huntin', prob'bly wandered too far fer' your likin' but we found somethin'. A prison.”

“A prison?” Milton guffawed, chocking on some of his tea.

“Yes, a prison” I rolled my eyes. “From th'looks of it, the fences were still intact, couple a dozen walkers roamin' round. Gimme some men an' weapons an' we can clear it out easy.”

“No” Governor said throwing a heavy glare my way. I of course couldn't shut my mouth.

“I haven't spent any time at this particular joint but I know my way round. We won't have ta search every block, find the Admin block, get some keys...” I rattled off only to be cut off, Gov glaring viscously in my direction.

“The prison is a death-trap. No one. And I mean **no one** is to venture back into the red zone again. _Do. I. Make. Myself. Clear?_ ” He snarled.

“Understood” I growled, clenching my fists at my side.

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I know this was probably the chapter no one was expecting, as you can probably guess by now, the entire chapter was from Merle's pov, plus the intro at the start which was in 3rd person (so weird for me to write btw). The time when this takes place is about the same time as our group is leaving the fire-station and a few weeks after. This was meant as a little teaser for the next part “The Dangers of being Incarcerated” but I'm still proud of how this turned out. Even if it took me forever to write. Writing Merle and parts of Gov were taxing at times lol.
> 
> I know some of it was probably a bit hard to read as I was jumping from rednecky accents then regular. From my perspective when things got more emotional for Merle I thought even his general story telling would start to incorporate a bit of his accent. I hope it wasn't too hard to follow. I swear I rewrote this chapter about 6 different times, hence the wait.
> 
> Yes I had planned to do this final chapter like this as well. Had started making notes and writing bits for it about 6 months ago. So I'm sorry it didn't have any of the group in this chapter. This was my take on Merle and Gov to a certain extent too. 
> 
> Thank you to everyone who read, commented, kudos'd, and helped support me writing this. Its been over two years of work writing this. So I hope you'll return for the next part.

**Author's Note:**

> Please review!


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